Signs of an Emotional Affair | Marriage Today | Jimmy Evans

so Kari and I were on a Dennis trainees radio program a few years ago and he has a program on marriage a radio program very good ministry and we were being interviewed by him and so he was he asked me some questions and he turned to Karen started interviewing her and he went back because he was he was referring to marriage on the rock the book and he said well Karen Jimmy was really a jerk when y'all first got married they were talking about me like I wasn't there you know whatever Jack but so Jimmy was real jerk when I first got married Karen yeah yeah he really was she was a little too animated you know but I really were and so he asked her this question he said were you ever tempted to have an affair back in those days and I thought well I want to know and she said this to him I wouldn't let my heart go there she meant in C forsaking means I've taken up an offense against you or I have heard a seductive voice offer me something better than you and I turned on the inside I turned see God says he'll never do that the Bible tells us that Satan accuses us before God's throne day and night what the book of Revelation says day and night that means right now he's in front of God's throne accusing us to God kind of taste something about your God he'll never take up the offense no matter what the devil could ever say about you God will never take up your fence or his offense he'll always love you but can I say this the devil will come for the rest of your married life and accuse your spouse to you whatever he has to say I could find reason today to turn my heart away from Karen and she could find reason today turn her heart away from me I mean the reasons are not hard fine but that's not covenant covenant says regardless of what reason I could find I will never desert you and I will never turn my heart away from you when we say our vows getting married here's what the vowel sound like something like this for better for worse for richer for poorer in sickness and health to love and to cherish till death do us part those are covenant vows the devil comes to us and worse and sicker and poorer and in those circumstances he begins to advertise others and offend us toward our spouse and that's when we're most vulnerable to turning our heart away and it's in those times that we have to make the Covenant decision I will never let me say something to some of you who may be younger the best times in marriage come after you've gone through some of those poor and sicker and worse times and you stayed together and you worked on your marriage and you come out the other side stronger better closer more in love and there's no trust on earth like the trust you have for a person who had the reason to leave but didn't who had a reason to turn their heart away but didn't there's a psychiatrist dr. Gail Saltz and here here are some of her key points to recognizing an emotional affair when most meetings and conversations are kept secret from your partner when you say and do things with someone you would never do in front of your spouse when you make a point to arrange private talk time with them and when you share things with them that you don't with your partner and this is called windows and walls there's just an appropriateness to any relationship that you have outside of your marriage where the person of the opposite sex and windows means I'm having a conversation with my with my assistant I'm having a conversation with a woman at church or a woman at work or something like that and we you know we have a closeness to our relationship either a physical proximity of working together or we have a friendship that we've developed and all of a sudden I find myself wanting to say something to her about the state of my marriage or the you know my feelings or something that I know I shouldn't say well when I say it I'm opening a window that is not a normal window this is intimate conversation at exactly the same time I do that because I'm not going to tell my spouse I built a wall with my spouse the more I share here the bigger the window gets the more I share here the bigger the wall here gets and so she says in an emotional affair that precedes it it always precedes it in an emotional affair and then she asked these questions to qualify whether we're having an emotional affair do you avoid telling your partner how much time you spend or talk with the other person do you tell this person more about your day than your partner do you even tell him or her about her marital dissatisfaction which is a huge warning sign do you ready your appearance to see them is there a sexual attraction spoken or unspoken between you because that's going to happen it's going to happen with people close up and come happen far away and this is the reason that you have to build the right boundaries in your relationship here's one other question would you feel guilty if your partner saw you together would you would you be talking if your partner was here like you are with them being there would you be showing affection in the same way and if you know it's inappropriate and she says to get out of the emotional affair hey stop flirting but listen if you're a flirt you're it's inappropriate you shouldn't flirt with people it's just wrong stay out of high-risk places she says you know what and we know what those are when you're alone when you're you know being having private time with that individual wherever that is break off the relationship totally she says and it's interesting her suggestion is turn your heart back turn your heart back thank you for joining us experience the life-changing series the indestructible marriage on CD or dvd looking for your next grade book start reading instantly with marriage today's ebooks now available online marriage today's latest book happy happy love will supercharge your marriage with practical tips wisdom and inspiration for every stage of marriage visit happy love book dot-com follow your interest and get social by connecting with Jimmy and Karen and the ministry of marriage today on Twitter become a rock solid partner today and equip yourself with the tools you need for a successful marriage $14 $28 or $56 per month choose the partnership level that's right for you become a rock solid partner today you

Channel: MarriageToday

Views: 224,637

Rating: 4.9200244 out of 5

Keywords: marriage, divorce, affair, emotional affair, relationships, counseling, Christian, relationship help, Jimmy Evans, The Indestructible Marriage

Id: XBZ1XjBitYA

Length: 7min 32sec (452 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 31 2012