When You Reject Your Spouse | Marriage Today | Jimmy Evans

I want to talk about the needs that we need to meet in marriage and the importance of meeting our needs in marriage each other's needs is it's what maintains the attraction in the relationship it's what keeps the marriage good when you ask a person if they have a good marriage and they say yes or if they say no we really measure that mostly by met needs if my knee and by the way if my knees are getting met today I just assumed they're going to be met in the future so I feel good about the marriage today and looking forward but if I say that my marriage isn't good it's because either some of my primary needs or my needs in general are just not being met and that also makes me pessimistic to the future because I think I'm going to live another five years or 10 years or 20 years without my needs getting met and it can become very disappointing now that's the way our marriage was when we first got married we were not meeting each other's needs I certainly was not meeting Karen's most important needs the other importance of meeting each other's needs is is it closes the door on outside attraction and we know that you know there's a lot of infidelity in marriages today there's a lot of temptation in marriages today nothing ever justifies adultery or cheating nothing ever does but understand in 1st Corinthians 7 the Apostle Paul he was talking about sex and he said we need to meet each other's needs and he said because our bodies don't belong to ourselves when we get married we literally give the authority of our bodies over to our spouses it's not a license for abuse it's a license for use and it just means we can't withhold from each other and we can't use our bodies be it for sex or be it for affection or be it for anything we can't use our bodies as weapons or bargaining chips or anything like that and here's what the Apostle Paul said he said if you're so spiritual that you want to fast sex for a while he said you can only do it with consent and that means you can't do it apart from what your spouse consents to and it can only be for a short duration less Satan tempt you the Apostle Paul understood there is a danger to unmet needs when we get married and we're not meeting each other's needs not only does it create a lack of passion and a dissatisfaction and a frustration but it's an open door for the devil and I want to say again it is not an excuse for any person to do the wrong thing and to justify it but it does open a door for the devil to tempt us in a greater way and so I want to talk about the rejection of the inherent differences in the opposite sex now the four major needs of a man and the four major needs of a woman are completely different we have certain things in common related to you know being men and women and marriage and things like that but our four major needs are completely different let me say this another way if you married someone normal they're not like you I know that doesn't sound good does it and I'm sorry that if that if you marry someone different they're not like you know let me talk for just a minute about pornography and about soap operas and romance novels because you know these things I was I was visiting a relative the other day and they had a you know soap opera on and it was the first time I've seen this hope opera in a long time it just kind of reminded me of this but in the world of men pornography is a big problem in today's world but here's what pornography does it's not just the the naked bodies and the sex that is the problem with pornography there's a lie in pornography and that lie is is that a normal woman isn't as complicated and as emotional as your wife that there's women there's a woman out there and she's not complicated she's not emotional she just wants sex all the time in other words you can find a woman who has a woman's body but a man psyche you know and I love this one there's this commercial on TV about this service that helps you find your soul mate and this guy found a woman that you know she loves football and she loves all the things that he loves she's lying she's lying like a dog he'll figure out one of these days she just as complicated as every other woman is it it doesn't matter if you marry your soul mate or not they're different than you are and I hope you have a lot in common you to have things in common but there's a lion pornography that says you can find a woman that that isn't different than you are she doesn't have different needs she doesn't have a nature no they're all different there's a lot in soap operas and romance novels and the things that cater to women do the exact opposite related to men and it's the same issue though and what it says is this there are men unlike your husband that there are men who are just very emotional they love to talk their real feelings at stay inside all the time and you know they don't smell and they don't scratch and they don't you know they're they're not like the jerk you're married to and and there's a man out there who's a man on the outside but on the inside he's a woman but it's not true it's just it's just life and what happens is if you believe that message see it's not it's not the medium that is the danger it's the message behind it what happens when you listen to that is you begin to reject your spouse so you already think they're weird you know when I got married to Karen I was very attracted to her on the outside but I just thought she's the weirdest person on earth how could you be that weird normals like me when you're not like me though you're weird it just mean depends on how unlike me you are you know to really measure how weird you are she was the weirdest person on earth because everything was different I mean everything and so how could she be normal and not be like me now I want you to listen this is a breakthrough in your marriage that you've been looking for your spouse is the opposite of you and they're normal see there and I can hear brains popping right now I can hear it it's an audible sound it's how can she your wife is normal her needs aren't your needs her nature is not your nature but she's normal your husband is normal when we reject the inherent differences in our spouse what happens is we begin to tell each other about the needs that we have and we roll our eyes and we become sarcastic and we put each other down I want you to listen when you reject my needs you reject me and rejection is the greatest pain that a human being can feel love is our greatest need rejection is our greatest fear thank you for joining us partner with marriage today and receive the marriage on the rock series on CD or dvd follow your interest and get social by connecting with Jimmy and Karen and the ministry of marriage today on Twitter marriage today's latest book happy happy love will supercharge your marriage with practical tips wisdom and inspiration for every stage of marriage visit happy love book dot-com become a rock solid partner 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Channel: MarriageToday

Views: 275,170

Rating: 4.9144583 out of 5

Keywords: marriage, needs, men, women, rejection, relationship help, jimmy evans

Id: 5kTX-w2jPTk

Length: 7min 39sec (459 seconds)

Published: Mon May 21 2012