SideChickology Part I

I'm just amazed by the speed of social media and the advent of technology you probably already know what I'm talking about mm-hmm if you don't know my subject is sidechick ology and I am dead serious I got this message the same way I get all of them this is the word for this church today side-chick ology his dead without Beast could you be living with side-chick them let's pray father please speak to us in a helpful way today very serious subject I pray to somebody would be enlightened empowered delivered rescued protected live saved family save marriages saved and rescued do something supernatural as a result of this word reveal ourselves to you for instruction in Jesus name Amen I happen to be in love with a lord with a God who doesn't just encourage me when I'm wrong when I'm down but he corrects me when I'm wrong and we should love and appreciate that side of God too not just those messages to say it's gonna be alright it's gonna be alright it's gonna be alright but we should appreciate those messages to say you know what you don't get it together you even have some problems some messages are warnings and this one seems to follow all in that category for us I want to look at this topic in the Bible the people I'm going to look at in the Bible they weren't called side chicks they were called mistresses I figured we just connect the term to modernity I could have said it call it jump off that wouldn't have been nice so we're gonna go with side chicken and my mom my guest is gonna be really quiet in here it's specially this service man it's gonna be pretty pretty pretty this is the pin drop service I'm telling you right now maybe a whole lot of come on say that Wow most people would be terribly uncomfortable for this entire presentation you can say you right now people gonna be squirming everybody got to go to bathroom people gonna try to say they're people right now telling somebody they're texting somebody they're texting somebody and say please call me in five minutes because I need it just seemed like I gotta get out of this sanctuary right now I gotta get out of this message but uh we afraid that this would be helpful to you if you hear any laughter - probably be very nervous laughter we're gonna get through it Genesis chapter 16 I want to tell you where I think what I think makes side chicks possible what I think makes isaacs possible his side chicks enter where there is a deficit they seem to be effective at picking up where there's lack in Genesis chapter 16 one of the most prominent side chicks in history is a lady named Hagar now Hagar was an official side chick she was a concubine she was a she was a a mistress some of these side shakes that they don't even have an official title they just side chicks don't even have the license of nothing she was she was married but she was married to somebody else's husband who set her up to be supportive in the supportive role let me read it to you Genesis 16 1 now Sarai Abrams wife had not been able to bear children for him but she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar so Sarai said to Abram the Lord has prevented me from having children go and sleep with my servant by the way I'm just gonna sit down and talk to y'all it's gonna be a conversation just like we all did we out at dinner we out a restaurant we just having a conversation just we're just conversing so surah says you know I can't have children why don't you sleep with my servant perhaps I can have children through her and the end of verse 2 Abram agree with Sarah's proposal and I always chuckle a debt cuz he never he didn't even say nah baby we don't do that we got just staying I ain't gonna compromise she said you want to have sex with somebody else who say hey yeah I'll do that let's let's go with that verse three so sera Abrams wife took Hagar the Egyptian servant and gave her to Abram as a wife this happened ten years after Abram is settled in the land of Canaan so now suraíh or Sarah can't have children so enter Hagar the side chick Genesis chapter 29 in verse 31 is another side chick named Leah leah has a sister named Rachel I'll read more about her later but their marriage are the same man named Jacob listen to what the Bible says about Leah when the Lord saw that leah was unloved that's by Jacob he enabled her to have children but Rachel could not concede now read those two things because this is where I think side-chick this is sort of the causation the origin of side chicks side chicks is is really they they emerge when there is something the wife is the wife is either unable to do or maybe unwilling to do side chicks emerge when there is something that a wife is unable to do like half children like Sarah and Rachel were unable to have children or sometimes the side chick emerges when there's something a wife is unwilling to do like sometimes wives are unwilling to have fun with their husbands to go motor waterskiing jet-skiing with their husbands or to go to the movies with their husbands or to have fun some husbands don't feel supported by their wives they don't feel celebrated by their wives and and you'd be surprised this is what's deep about what's deep about when a man is unfaithful to his wife usually the woman he's unfaithful with is not more attractive in his way she's just more tentative you go to him and look at who he was you you you serious that's what you left your family or it's because she paid attention she was she was she was a closer of deficits she studied him his feelings were important she praised him Wow while she was cheering him his wife was cheering him and the energy he was getting at home was so so negative the energy he got from her was so positive that after a while it didn't matter how she looked good I'll tell you how that red fox joke did I say that in here it's very you had to be very careful we Tillery odd joke rare Fox said that when when you know I grew up on where if I didn't grow up in church grew up on comedy so that's how I got disciple rare Fox in them disciple me so rare Fox said that he was at a bar one time after a show and he was sitting at a bar drinking and he said this huge woman he says he says if she wasn't 450 pounds he says at least she was for him 50 pounds and she came over to the bar and winked at him and blew him a kiss and he said he got sick to his stomach thinking about what she had on her mind but he said every time he said every drink he had she lost 100 pounds by teasing by that first drink she look like Marilyn Monroe see when a woman knows what a man's love language is and she speaks it fluently her looks become less important mmm tentative now I'm not saying that it's justifiable but I'm saying to you ladies you need to be a tentative at home with your man deck this is all about protecting him from a side chick well it goes the same way with men if you look at proverbs chapter 7 look in proverbs chapter 7 there's a lot of times we think of a side chick we think of a single woman but there's some mary side chicks too you can be married and be a side chick you can have a husband and a side guy proverbs chapter 7 verse 6 listen to this while I was at the window of my house looking through the curtains I saw some naive young men and one in particular who lack common sense he was crossing the street near the house of an immoral woman strolling down the path by our house it was at Twilight in the evening his darkness veil the woman approached him seductively dressed and sly of heart she was the brass rebellious type never content to stay at home she is often in the streets and markets soliciting at every corner she threw her arms around him and kissed him and with the brazen look she said I've just made peace offerings and fulfill my vows you're the one I was looking for I came out to find you and here you are my bed is spread with beautiful blankets with colored sheets of Egyptian linen I perfume my bed with mirror and aloes and cinnamon come let us drink our fill of love until morning let's enjoy each other's caresses watch this verse 19 for my husband is not home mmm he's away on a long trip he has taken a wallet full of money with him and won't return until later this month this is a married woman see married women become side chicks because something's missing in their own marriage and in this case to me in proverbs chapter 7 you have a woman who is who is disconnected from her husband he's out travelling he's on the road and I don't know what he was doing but it couldn't have been business because of the way she said he's on a long trip and he took a wallet full of money he ain't working he's out that's a pleasure trip you take a wallet full of money you're going on a pleasure you going to Brazil he was going to Vegas how can a man go to Brazil of Vegas without his wife and think that's going to be okay we going with the fellas see this is for every man see this is a woman who's a side chick for somebody else because she's got a husband who's not paying attention everybody say attention at the end of the day the core need of a side chick is attention that's what she wants and fellas we must pay attention to our wives otherwise you might be unintentionally grooming your wife to be a side chick because you're not paying attention to him now we may not have one women today who would go strolling down the streets in the middle of the night proposition and strange men but we do have women who will stroll through Facebook and stroll through Instagram and stroll through social media picking up old flames we do have women who will go who run into somebody at Walmart who they haven't seen since high school and just because he said he's still looking good now you're all on his profile except in his favorite front requests and you know was Wow a man will be out in Brazil cutting up with all kinds of women and come home and find out his wife friended an old boyfriend on Facebook and he's breaking up stuff in the house okay I got excited you've got to be crazy you have created in an environment of infidelity how can you not go have fun with your wife see a lot of marriages are empty and barren because the two people who are married are not working to have fun together you should put at least as much work into keeping your wife as you did to get her now to every woman that a man got you without working that's your fault you've already lowered the standard you ain't got to do much to get me so you're showing I do much to keep me you gotta make a brother work so he has a work ethic glory to God day he got to take you know where he said you know what every pose you can pose to me right here in church just say you wanna marry me right answers I think hallelujah there must be an investment to protect the relationship from people who are outside of the relationship who are much more who are willing to pay attention where we're not at the end of the day many people just want some attention but this man is traveling he's on the road he's handling this business he's a workaholic he's always watching the game he's always behind this newspaper he's always tinkering around the garage and then and you wonder why there's this disconnection got to pay attention I told you it's gonna be quiet here let me show you something else about side chicks in Genesis 929 Genesis 29 let me show you how Leah and Rachel who are sisters ended up with the same man verse 16 Genesis 29 now Laban had two daughters the oldest daughter was named Lea and the younger was Rachel there was no sparkle in Lea's eyes but Rachel had a beautiful figure in a lovely face and since Jacob was in love with Rachel he told her father I will work for seven years if you'll give me Rachel your younger daughter as my wife agreed Laban said reply I'd rather give it to you than anyone else stay and work with me so Jacob worked seven years to pay for Rachel but his love for her was so strong that it seemed to him but a few days finally the time came for him to marry her I fulfilled my agreement Jacob said to Laban now give me my wife so I can sleep with her that's pretty bold I won't say that as somebody's father about their daughter so verse twenty-two so Laban invited everyone in the neighborhood and prepared a wedding feast but that night when it was dark Laban took Leah to Jacob and he slept with her in verse 25 but when Jacob woke up in the morning it was Leah what have you done to me Jacob raise your Laban I worked seven years for Rachel why have you tricked me see it was that night it was a wedding it was at night he brought her to his tent she was veiled he couldn't see they have electricity so he thought that was Rachel but when he woke up he chose leave because in the morning all the truth come up see y'all gonna try to act like y'all never went to bed and woke up and say what the heck is yeah kind of fake what the reason why I read that story is because even though leah being a side chick was forced on her what the story and the cover-up in the deception tells me is that all side chick relationships are really tainted by deception and cover-up that they're born out of deception and cover-up that's how they're nurtured and develop and let me tell you some covering up stuff is costly deception is costly most we will never calculate and quantify how much it costs you to cover up your stuff think about cover of cost hide and receipts cleaning out your cell phone trying to make sure do you know how scary is when you slick with your phone to leave it somewhere and your wife get it you'd be like you ain't like a babe you got my jelly my phone hell I'm there people who if they left their phone at home we're turn around in the middle row hit three people to get home to find them haha phone locked Pascoe's on everything passcode on the passcode fingerprint everything their internet history search blocked all that everything blocked we don't know when you've been who you been with your name ain't even John no more you got all kinds of aliens they Knight Rider black love you got to intercept phone bills got ketchup you did you got to get a second phone another cell phone and that bill goes through a Bo box somebody here saying I don't believe he telling all my you knew he's gone priestess then why you bought me doing them priestess up in there this is this is the anxiety around there's an anxiety and stress that comes with hiding the end the anticipating exposure the ominous spending moment Willis ever come out how many people know I wonder who she's told about us and wonder if she's sharing this with friends I wonder if he's talking about me to somebody all this stuff the anxiety of being exposed when I was in Bible College I remember this story we were told as a true story there was a man and a woman who went to a KFC in San Diego they pull up the drive-thru at KFC in San Diego and they're having they're planning a little cookout picnic of a private picnic with each other it's daytime they pull up to the drive-through order the food they pay for the food get the chicken and the side orders and a drink they put the food in the backseat of the car and they go on to this little secluded wooded area where they lay out a blanket this romantic rendezvous picnic allowed the blanket they pull out plates and forks and when they get everything out she opens the lid to get the chicken and inside the bucket is no chicken it's all cash I mean money stacked up in there and they're shocked they later find out that the manager the store had been robbed before and one of the ways these trick criminals in that area was he wouldn't keep his cash in the cash register he would hide cash in various chicken buckets around there well this time one of the one of the new people handed the people to cash bucket instead of the chicken the manager does that the scope pacing the floor he's mad at people he's fussing had to call headquarters he's just gonna lose his job now because they told him not to do that you don't put cash in the chicken bucket like that and so he's gonna lose his job meanwhile the men the couple in the little rendezvous they packed their stuff up because the man says we can't do this we can't keep his money they put they don't even touch the money they put the bucket and everything back in the car drive back to the restaurant walk inside not through drive-thru walked inside and says I think this belongs to you the manager was so happy to see him he embraced them hug them was they said they don't make him like you no more man thank you so much he says all your money is day I appreciate he said he said wait a minute I was your name he says nice cool man you gonna what shouldn't he says he said hey hey you gotta the guy work for me just take a picture with us we're gonna put this in the news they said nah man nah I can't get no fishing okay he said man bring your wife in here so I can just I don't wanna thank y'all but it he says nah man I'm good I'm good the man followed him out to stop the store and was gonna say something to him and his wife to thank him and he stopped like these in man that's not my wife I can't be in the paper out on my wife but see this I said Wow isn't that amazing you can have it together in one area of your life you can have so much integrity you won't keep money that belongs to you but like so much character you can keep some sad chicken [Applause] juergen you'll get it later what is it like to deal with the stress and the anxiety what are those costs what is the emotional cost of psychological costs the spiritual cause the financial cost that just keeps a running tab whenever you've been unfaithful you just got this running tab of what will happen what are the consequences what will happen in my life what does it like to be in that situation to live like that what if we get caught because you know what happens when people get an inappropriate side-chick relationship for too long they start getting sloppy you should be real tight with your stuff now you start slipping up now yeah I got caught you said everything was in there everything was down low everything was in the dog everything was over her house everything nothing was out in public now y'all be out yeah yeah people starting to notice y'all laughs too much together ha ha ha you and me work in the mailroom you banana man he start wondering will somebody pick up on the scent of my infidelity and somebody can know people who discern could say something right with y'all something right with job number 4 luca genesis 16:4 genesis 16:4 here's another sign this is what I would call a sign of whether or not his here's how you can tell if you're a woman is how you can tell if you're a side chick or if you're on the way to be one watch this everybody listening now Abram after his wife told him you can have sex with her and have a baby watch this Abram verse four has sexual relations with Hagar she became pregnant but when Hagar knew she was pregnant she began to treat her mistress Sarai with contempt watch this when she became pregnant she changed the way she treated her mistress here's an identification you know you're a side chick when the way you interact with your with a man's wife changes when you have disdain for a man's wife that's an indication that you're sorry and side chicks have difficulty hiding their disdain for their lovers wife for the person they're interested in his wife let me read it like I put it up there side chicks develop a natural dislike for the wife that that's difficult to mask in other words and by the way the wife picks it up immediately because by and large women know when somebody has an unhealthy inappropriate attraction to their husband women know that immediately they pick up on it even when there's subtle to other people it screams to that wife she be all on women just like they got really huh okay you'll be playing space you just cover it in my books you're a good ok wife knowing huh and you you might bring it up go here with y'all ain't no more Vivian you know me if every when the fourth grade together usually pick each other we come on now that Vivian a woman knows if any woman here knows that you know just talk back to me and say men women know they know they know and let me tell you something the moment if you're close to a married man and you're a woman the moment your respect for his wife goes down is the moment you need to move away from that relationship whatever the reason once you don't once you stop value her if you can't value both of them you don't need to be around either one of them the moment let me say something because your disdain for her is a revelation of your attraction to him and we got to pay attention to our true feelings I don't care what happened maybe he maybe he in confidence shares something about her dysfunctions about her deficiencies that he should have never even told you because that's their personal business and that's about loyalty he should have never told you but however your opinion of her went down whether it's because of that or you think you'd be a better wife to her to him than she is when you get to that point it's time for you to roll because you ought to respect family enough and say I'm not gonna break this family up and I see I don't play with this see it's the same thing with a man it's not just a side chick it's a size slick that's what you call a dude if I'm a man and I'm close to a married woman the moment Minds respect for her husband goes down is the moment that relationship needs to change if she shared something with me - made me disrespect him and not appreciate him I might be tempted to rescue her out of a situation that ain't none of my business it ain't my job to rescue her and if I start feeling that way I need to back off do y'all understand what I'm saying see you got a respect family at the end of the day it ain't about what you want well I find them attractive and I found my soul mate how you gonna call that your soul maybe they already married that's a lie the devil is a lie you got to put family above all that stuff family matters your children matters your legacy matters your name matters your reputation matters Lord in your little feelings about somebody that turns you on and y'all got a lot in common the hell with that family matters that's what I'm talking about your family means more than your dealings under cussing is murder go tweet that your family is more important in your feelings with your little punk self always about your feelings your mama made you do whatever you felt like doing that's why you little punk but I can't stay in a relationship because your little mama spoils you now when your wife stands up to you you can't stand in there and hanging there with your family cuz freaky Keisha keep giving you butter on the side I know what I'm talking about let me sit back there let me sip sip sip Milo sir right back down and so what I was see that's best don't don't don't do that don't do that don't do that everybody want to calculate how much he said about the men how much he saved three women I'm being laid by God whatever I say you need to hear if I say five things are meant for things and women don't make no difference you do what you're supposed to do and stop calculating what I'm saying if you write you all right if you ain't right get right stop trying to say you need to say something to her that's that punk stuff you see what I'm saying that's what I'm talking about well I should've took my meds this morning I don't know what my problem whew I really really really didn't mean to do all this I'm just having a conversation we just having lunch Family Matters write that down here's number five [Music] Genesis 21 verse 8 now Abram and Abram and Sarah ended up having their own baby named Isaac they were real old when he had it but he had another baby by the side chick named Hagar they had a son named Ishmael in Genesis chapter 21 verse 8 listen to this when Isaac grew up and was about to be weaned Abraham prepared a huge fete a fuse a huge feast to celebrate the occasion but Sarah saw Ishmael watch this the son of Abraham and her Egyptian servant Hagar making fun of her son Isaac she turned to Abram and demanded get rid of that slave woman and her son he is not going to share the inheritance with my son Isaac I won't have it verse 11 this upset Abraham very much because its mill was his son but God told Abraham do not be upset over the boy and your servant do whatever Sarah tells you for Isaac as the son through whom your descendants will be counted verse 14 so Abram got up early the next morning prepared food in the container of water strapped them all Hagar shoulders then he sent her away with their son and she wandered aimlessly in the wilderness of Beersheba his you need to know ladies if you're a side chick remember this you're a convenience not a commitment trust me when the rubber meets the road when it's time to choose am I gonna choose my miracle or my mistake am I gonna choose Isaac or Ishmael am I gonna choose Sarah or hey God at the end of the day let me tell you something no man in his right mind ain't telling my when he horny and selfish I'm talking about when a man is in his right mind and he's thinking about his values he's thinking about his family he's thinking about his priorities he ain't gonna leave you he'll leave his wife for you I don't care what he says the string the relationship alone he is not going to leave his family for you so guess what when the rubber meets the road your convenience not a commitment get that you're not listen your your relief not a relationship you're a relief pitcher not a starter you know anything about baseball [Music] the starters don't even listen the starter the relief pitchers don't even sit with the rest of the team you watch baseball they way out there is something called the dugout waiting on waiting on a moment when they might be needed most nights they don't even get called and guess what when they get called they don't get called by name they just play they don't even call them by name they just go like this that means we're on a right-hander give me a left-hander and call him by body parts that's what you are when you're a side chick you're 1:30 a.m. booty call body part and you chose to be and who cares if you had them all day if he went home that night you still lost and some of you got a riser but just see see see here's the problem here's the problem side chicks are so desperate that she'll take attention from a man without having his allegiance some of you so press some man them texted you I use in church he's with his wife slipped in the bathroom and texted you and you smiling while you're breaking up that family you're just happy for his attention even if you can't have his devotion because you're so desperate and so weak you'll take a half a man rather than the weight on God to give you a whole [Music] come up higher you're better than that you're better than that let me give you a takeaway and got me wound up here here's the takeaway for all single side chicks if you don't stop being second you'll never be first you'll never be first and you'll never be only either and there's a difference between being first and being only you can be either because ii is a mentality I don't wanna be second and nothing the second nothing I get angry about second I don't even want a tie I win in San Jose I win we gonna break the tie see see see Lea let me read this in Genesis 29 here's a woman that hey I'm gonna summarize it she has six children by this man and if you read her story three of the sons she named them stuff hoping he would love her like she said maybe this time he'll love me maybe there's time he'll respect me I know my husband will love me now six children hoping this man Ida had six of his sons I know you're gonna love me now never happen single people want something out of an independent appropriate relationship that you'll never get because it's not built for that especially if you save God's not gonna bless that I'm gonna tell you right now he is not going to bless an inappropriate relationship you got to make it right here's why you'll never be first or only if you continue to play second it's not just the fact that being second is becomes a mentality he some women have developed a second mentality you think it's okay to be second you're like man well half a man better than no man I'm saying you got to have a attitude I'd rather be alone than the Missal family up and stop it stop timeout he on his way to he he on his way to getting divorced they got the paperwork in you mean you can't find us a totally single man you know how many people were on their way to get divorce that ended up getting reconciled with each other and here you are in the way of that leave that family alone mind your business messing up so you stay out of the way or what God might be doing in that situation you cannot be second continue to be second and end up being first or only because there's an agricultural law called the law of the harvest there's a psychological law called the law of reciprocity and here's how that law works the law means you reap what you sow that's what the law means one of the reasons why you can't be second and end up first or only is because when you have an affair with someone and you continue this inappropriate relationship for years it damages the marriage and the family and it prevents that family in marriage from being his best so all the time that he's invested in you time energy money creativity his family and wife can never recuperate that and a man who has a side chick will never work on his marriage why should he work on his marriage every dysfunction in his marriage is comforted by the side chick so whenever he's upset he just goes to the side chick so now the marriage continues to suffer so here's the point if you reap what you sow and you sold damage to a marriage even if it wasn't your intention to do it you're damaging your own marriage well you say but I'm not married that's my point [Applause] if you don't repent how can you ever expect to have a loving committee stable marriage you reap what you sow you ought to love your future enough to not be messing with somebody that's married let me give one takeaway from married side chicks this is deep see when you're married in your side chick that's real dangerous because of the violence that said risks see husbands can be the most unfaithful people in the world soon as their wife go unfaithful he'd kill him he won't kill everybody involved he's really crazy I got a train ticket faster you can't be serious I can't take it you brought it into the house you created the environment look at look at but it's true proverbs chapter 6 verse 26 give me that you got private 6:26 proverbs 6 26 watch this a prostitute will bring you to poverty she takes your money but sleeping with another man's wife will cost you your life that's real you should read proverbs 6 is good you should read the Bible this is really really a very very good book is it really worth dying for let me tell you something there is no sex worth dying for is it worth you seeing your husband murdered or another man murdered or your children watch their father go to prison count the cost Hey before I close remember that remember that lady who was picking up people on Facebook because her husband was out of town that's proverb seven husbands on a long trip and she walked around and found some young dude say I know when he's coming back verse 20 took a pocket full of money remember that let's pick that story up already in progress verse 21 so she seduced him with her pretty speech enticed him with her flattery he follow her at once like an odds going to the slaughter he was like a stag caught in a trap awaiting the arrow that would pierce his heart he was like a bird flying into a snare little knowing it would cost him his life so listen to me my son's and pay attention to my words don't let your heart stray away toward her don't wander down her wayward path well she has been the ruin of many many men have been her victims her house is the road to the grave her bedroom is a den of death she said my bed is covered in aloes or cinnamon she should have said it's covered in embalming fluid is it worth it sometimes you got to do what's right I would encourage every married married married side chick to end that inappropriate relationship get close to the Lord and get in some counseling whether your spouse gets in it with you or not you let God deal with your spouse you do what's right and before you ever become another side chick or getting another inappropriate relationship at least have the decency to get a divorce first I'm not even for divorce but I'm just saying if you're gonna do it cuz I think there are a lot more questions involved in just what you want what's best for your children for your legacy for your family for your extend defense what's best for your Christian witness you know the hard thing about this message is you know when I preach stuff for like God's gonna turn it are you gonna turn it it's gonna be alright it's alright even though yet will I people with text me send me hit me up on Facebook Instagram Twitter that word was for me pastor that word was for me people ain't telling me that today ain't nobody saying a for me meat no know what's a house for me but it was just for all of us it's a rescue word if you in to say God give me out it's a protection word if you're not already in saying God keep me keep me out cuz I don't care when you leave Church we always all intents to hear now it's wrong it's wrong is wrong but let me tell you something by Thursday you lonely and horny and your favorite slow-jam playing you think about it like dad are you doing that's when you need to play the message over so when you need to say god I'd rather do the right thing and be lonely and do the wrong thing and wreck somebody's family or ruin somebody's life even my own life so if you're here today I'm gonna tell you what I know if you're like 99% of us you're not gonna be able to do this without God I don't know to 1% you can do it without God but they don't come to church I don't come to church to play let me tell you about me I need the Lord you hear that I need them and my I have a sneaking suspicion you do too you ain't coming here for

Channel: Keith Battle

Views: 24,207

Rating: 4.8939929 out of 5

Keywords: SideChickology, side chick, relationships, love, marriage, married, single, Jesus, God, Pastor Battle, Keith Battle, sermon, teaching, cheating, infidelity

Id: rUBzUfejOaE

Length: 41min 19sec (2479 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 24 2018