What Men Want? A discussion at FBCG Women's Fellowship - Pastor Keith Battle

oh right grace girls let's receive your first lady Trina Jenkins on the Florence and only chichi [Music] you I came to hear about some manhunt they came to hear about some men but y'all like that 10 a.m. Tom don't show how many y'all been praying Jesus please let them move the time from him on it Jesus heard you I'm so excited and it's so wonderful to see all of you awesome to have you here we will be here this is our new home and we'll be 10 a.m. hallelujah thank you lord I was praying for years for that yes Lord my daughter been praying for years you know our team we have different age age groups or age representation on our team and these Millennials Millennials the Millennials said if y'all want people to come out y'all gots to move the time back well look we excited I know they are also excited because of the topic that we are going to be discussing today I know we all come here for the topic of what men want right let me go say what meet one see the movie so we're not going to go too much into the movie but yes this is a topic that it's a generational topic doesn't matter whether you're young you're older Big Momma than told you about a man sister girl done told you about a man antietam told you about a man but we're gonna have a lot of questions and we're gonna hopefully you get on our questions answered today so if you are just hearing I know you haven't heard or you just need to hear again I want you to text your questions to five three zero eight three nine three two two four so just in case you don't want your neighbor knowing what you want to ask go ahead and text so I'm gonna say it again five three zero eight three nine three two two four so if you have a question that you want to get eggs about what meant one be sure to text that question cuz we're gonna be looking at our iPads to see what those questions are yes unless you are right we know you all have so many questions and we know them a lot of you guys are on social media so what we want you to do right now is take your phone out right and we want you to go to the Grace girls Facebook page and share our link or our F PCG page do a watch party share our links under the people who couldn't make it today can get in on the inside scoop just like you are right those how much our girlfriends to get the inside scoop yes so there have been plenty of times where me my mom my sisters my good girlfriends we sat around and just talked about different situations that we faced with men right whether it be your boss whether it's your dad whether it's your brother your uncle your boyfriend your husband we all don't have that conversation and we asked some guys what do men want so we got this clip here we gonna show y'all that what some men answer the question we want to show y'all what they see I'm just thinking what do men one love affection stability we want honesty to be understood they want to notice you have their back they want you to be their best friend we want a woman we can connect with mentally or so and spiritually we need on women to be our help mates to know that he's appreciated in the from relationship they just want you they want all of you your time in everything and they didn't say sex but they say you know I think you know like how men always say women are moving target I think they moving target to they moving target to but but you know we do we have to interact we have to be in these relationships together and really when you understand where the other is coming from it does help the relationship to be better so so we did get a lot of questions y'all sent in y'all flooded us with questions so hopefully we can get to as many as we can but hopefully the information that will transpire will be good it'll be fun but very necessary amen so what you think you think we should jump on in [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you y'all do stuff so well I don't know this might be a little setup because we got all these women got a lot of questions for you so just you gotta hold it down for the men past the keeps new book psychology so excited about the book can you just share a little bit about how you came to writing that book yeah so the book is part of my own story and of failure in my marriage unfaithfulness on my part it's also a journey of understanding how marriages end up in that space from the couples that I've helped over the years and it's the book is very transparent it's humorous but it's serious at the same time and it doesn't just highlight how empathetic happens but how to avoid it how to recover from it and how to understand it because if you don't know why something's happening you write you're liable to repeat it and and I was blessed one of the one of the team members that helped me with the book one of the editors is Julie Straus cable and so I use a team of women to help me write the book because I didn't want to just be left brain because I wrote the book and then I had women go over it and they were like oh no you can't say that I'm like no I'm gonna say that I'm gonna say I'm definitely gonna say that okay SATA and watch one wewe gone bad so so so one of the one of the one of the editors I'll say this real quick in 2015 April 2015 Julie Straus gable had five books on the New York Times bestseller list and she's one of the team members to help me put the book together so she's got 22 bestsellers on the New York Times bestseller list and I didn't just use Christian people and I just didn't use black people because I'm used to talking to Christian black people I want this book to touch this is a generational world problem it crosses cultures and lies whether you own a football team or you sing love songs in Chicago everybody got problems with controlling themselves for you so the book is here great information and I just want to say his beautiful wife is here [Music] looking 30 this is so neat because really one of the questions that we came that came in was about chakal adji lot of the questions that came in okay so we have so many questions for you so let's just jump right in because we got a lot that we want to get to so this question is very near and dear to my heart and someone wrote in they want to know why don't men listen because if men listen it could solve so many problems in the world if men would just listen so they're basically two two reasons why men don't listen you can write this down pride and programming let me talk about prior first the reality is now some of y'all gonna get offended to some it is but I'm just going to tell you how to truth I'm just a teacher a lot of us men don't believe y'all are on our level but know they're men who don't believe that a woman is on his level even intellectually y'all understand that right it's not right so when when your wife tries to give you advice you tend to not listen to it which is crazy when you think about in the Bible they're examples of a couple few women who saved their what husband's lives like Moses his wife Zipporah and like pilots wife kept them getting out of trouble told him something you need to leave that man alone but a lot of men who operate in pride think that their wives just aren't on their level we think y'all emotional and so because we're so rational and logical when y'all try to tell us stuff we don't want to hear and then here's another thing men don't listen because because we tend that we tend to be problem solvers so when you bring to us something that's not on up our first reaction is how can we fix it and you just want to talk about how you're feeling well men don't listen to feelings they listen they listen at a level where they come in do rescue and solve and you say I ain't want your do all that just once you hear how I felt so we don't tend to listen on their level and we and a part of that is just the way we've been programmed we've been programmed to hear things at a level that we want to solve it and not just feel it so that's part of the reasons why men don't listen to women how can we get y'all to listen we want the problems of the world to be talk to us where you make it [Applause] huh Oh baby here we go just I was filled thinking the same thing walk upon him neck and say can we talk absolutely cut the TV off and everything what she played a woman who's like a career woman and she has his boss and he just feels like he knows it all but she realizes there's a train wreck and she's trying to so what would you suggest yeah so a way you can strategically talking to somebody thinks they know it all is you ask questions that lead them to the answers you already have so by the time you've informed him he thinks he came up with it yeah that's how you do it how you doing today it doesn't matter who gets the credit long as God gets the glory so sometimes you had to do that for any kind of very difficult leader who is choose self sinner to listen to other people just kind of ask questions say hey do you think do you think that we need to do you think we have enough parking or something like that whatever I guess do you think we might need to you think we're starting at the right time you just ask that you already know you can come in and say we're starting at the wrong time we plan oh we know we're doing you say do you think we start at the right time you think we should go citizen we just later you already knew that big independent I got my own i'ma do for myself but what makes women unapproachable to me so so one thing that'll make you unapproachable is your countenance men do not want to approach a woman who already looks like she's saying don't you say one thing to me like you walking like don't don't even like you got you up here way up there like don't even come my way so if that's working for you nobody will bother you that's you know somebody that's borderline angry like they walking around like they just got attitude the whole time then this is gonna sound counterintuitive let me tell you another thing that makes a woman unapproachable it's gonna sound counterintuitive when you are overly seductively dressed then you would think that would make a man wanna howl at you or talk to you but when when you got cleavage and your nipples showing and your butt out and you got a high skirt and you got on heels the reason why a man's not gonna talk to you like that is because you just you got too much attention and he can't talk to you he had to talk to everybody because everybody's looking I think he gonna do is blow the horn at you or yell at you or run in the Sun but you have to have a level of modesty I'm not saying dress like a nun but you can't have it all loose that is better get it man and and that's that's that's those are some of the things you need to be thinking about when you wonder am i pushing men away am i being you know intimidating yeah oh if you wear a scarf on your head out in public [Laughter] if you if you want to be left a little where that out the one you was asleep in you forgot you went to the safe and put it on by playing with you too much but one lady wants to know the Bible talks about when a man finds a wife he finds a good thing but they want to know do men really want a good thing like you know they're finding a lot of good things and what what defines a good thing for a godly man so I plan on talking to that because there's a slide presentation I'm gonna do so can I talk about that when I get to the top our household is too soon to start dating after your spouse dies so I say you know what's you when you had the cemetery and they say as is the ashes and dust to dust just get off the cemetery property and you've read just once you look at it cause you need a gate you've read just next I love them to death research shows people that have good marriages tend to remarry the people that don't have good marriage Wow tend not to so you're really right yeah yeah yeah I think I think it also depends on it depends on a number of things there's no one-size-fits-all right so it depends on you know what kind of marriage you had are there children involved how did your spouse died yeah that they mysteriously died after dinner I mean you may nothing are you a suspect in the death those are matters you want to take into consideration before you move forward but here's what you need to notice very important the wrote this down when I saw your question the fresher your grief is the greater your need for comfort companionship and connection and the lower your relationship IQ and discernment is all that's going on at the same time so your your pain is fresh you're needy and your discernment is low which makes you vulnerable to a bad relationship if you move too quickly so you got to have some people around you who love you and want the best for you who will help you with the decision about who to move forward with because you don't want to jump out there with a broken heart and end up with a broken person you see that's good okay so we also want to know so they say closed mouth don't get fed should a woman approached a man and how how should they approach him I do think there should be some discretion I think there's a biblical precedent for a woman taking the initiative to at least let a man know where she stands and what she's interested in you look at the Book of Ruth her mother-in-law Naomi instructed her to communicate to Boaz in such a way that culturally he would know she wanted to be his wife and I think that just saves a lot of time you know if you just if you just you just let a man know look I ain't trying to be a girlfriend first of all I'm already a wife I'm a wife even though I'm single and I'm a talk about that in a moment you don't become a wife when you get married you become a wife in your mentality when when God when God said when God created the whole world and he said everything is good the only thing he said was bad wasn't good was Adams being alone and when he put Adam to sleep when he woke up he had a wife not a girlfriend she was a wife when he laid eyes on her before the ceremony before God pronounced her so I think it's important that you copper ate like that like I'm wife material I ain't for the games ain't for the ambiguity I ain't for the confusion if if that's not your goal you know I'm cool with that but don't drag me along Jay meant yes so I think you can I think it's fair to be upfront with people that's not too forward cuz then you get to know the man know where she ain't playing and then he if he's serious he'll step up if he's not he'll step off which is good it might hurt you but it's better to hurt you fast and hurt you slow right that's good why don't marry men leave single women alone talk about that yeah yeah yeah okay so if if a man is married and he's thinking about cheating his options are if he's heterosexual he's going to either deal with a married woman over a single woman well the single woman is the safest form of infidelity because it doesn't involve another husband which could expose him to danger like murder yeah so really the only person in that relationship it has to be super careful is him because she didn't have anybody checking through her phone so that's one reason another reason is it's easier to drag a single woman along down the plant down to the plant i'ma leave my wife and I'ma marry you because he doesn't have to worry about her filing for divorce on her end to accelerate that speed all she can do is wait the cards are all in his hands here's a third reason as selfish as this may sound he knows he has the single woman all to himself and for himself see let me tell you something real raunchy about us men we want women to be faithful to us even when we're unfaithful so even if a man has a side chick if she's married that's frustrating to him because he knows he's not the only one hittin it yes kill her husband Doody booty to keep him from being thrown off so she knows she she got a hooker husband up so she she won't think nothing going on with his girlfriend he knows a single woman Cece we know y'all gonna be loyal most women are promiscuous like that so you gonna be loyal to a man you cheating with like this so that's this best option for an affair is safer and quite frankly the single woman is more vulnerable to playing that game because she'd be happy with a half a band and the way for a whole man that's just when they're trying to pursue a new relationship well we we they asking the questions up in here why does a man stay connected to a past relationship when he's were sort of new relationship the first word I was a sir first reason is indecision decision is a volatile word it comes the word decide the suffix of the word decide side C IDE means to bring something to an end so pesticide means to bring pest to an end suicide means to bring your own life to an end homicide means to bring some other person's life to an end spermicide means to kill sperm or genocide to bring a culture to an end to decide something means you had to bring something to an end and when a man chooses a woman he is making a decision he is cutting away everything else is saying yes to only you and men don't want to be forced to make a decision so if I if C we're not we're not so so if I can have both people in my life that's comfortable right now the second thing is the reason why men will maintain all relationships with the new one is because it's allowed because he knows all he's got dude are you gonna do is get mad but you ain't going away you ain't relieved he's just gonna be mad there really no consequences the only consequence is you got to keep complaining about it but that doesn't that's not gonna make him make a move if you if he loses something then he has to make a decision there you go the third thing is is the ease of interaction a lot of men who were in relationships with somebody in the relationship went south and it was hostile and it was painful sometimes when they break up with that person and move on the relationship is strangely calm now man they like best friends you ever seen people break up couldn't stand each other now they're best friends and they talk all the time it's this the nuance of this relationship that it is now easy because there's no accountability she's not holding him in check she's not making them be financially responsible she's not checking through his phone anymore so now they're cool so now this is a fun relationship that he can stick around with so and that those are the reasons why they was in my opinion if they get this book chakal adji it's going to splain all that even more in the book it's all in the book Wow pastor bateau amazing can we give it up for him you are incredible and and you know I don't know that you view yourself like this but I think you're becoming the relationship pastor like we follow you to your own on YouTube and we follow your series on relationships and this information is just it's just a life changing and the reason it's life changing is because you are so transparent these means part of it is you know your misery becomes your ministry so Vicki and I had such a terrible marriage for so long now we have a great one and I'm just trying to tell people how I got great that's it so now our pain is our purpose so amen amen ladies yeah because I would like to hear more about pastor battles message and I think these ladies would too what you think okay so pastor battle can you just take some time and just minister that's great I don't know if I should try to tackle these other questions on here that I was sent that we didn't get to one of them says you know what is for widows or women over 60 how do how do they begin to date again what would a man be looking for at that age somebody younger [Applause] they don't want the truth no let me let me say this if you're sixty don't act old get out go out work out be 60 don't just be 60 B 6 D and then be 61 and 62 don't be walking around here like you ain't got listen you got you got accentuate your strengths put on something that's poppin get you a style guide or a style coach if you can't afford a style coach y'all everybody got a nice in their family or a daughter that can show you how to hook that up get you a weave get you a wing throw you something more that's gonna make you look fly again go to the gym be where men are go to places where men would take you on a date go to restaurants go to movies go to go to play go to concerts be out there be somebody interesting you can't be 67 years old in church all the time and think somebody and you got your rushers outfit on and you got the white glove on and you keep doing this you better take them gloves off and walk down come on here can I say it how y'all doing I like the first lady say we we hit the top I would men want and it's a real question like what you want to Steve what do you want and it's a trip because for years you all were called the mysterious ones but we just as mysterious as y'all are and it's because we don't talk we don't talk and and and the Bible says out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks so I don't really know you cuz you don't talk cuz I can't I can't hear your heart cuz you won't say nothin so I really don't know what you need or what you want and so I'm gonna try to be a mouthpiece I can't speak for every man cuz every man is different but I can do some things that I think will be accurate in defining what I think men really want so let's talk about it now first of all I believe every man wants attention and I think I have points for all this is gonna come up I think I have a little power little presentation do we have that so point number one is men want attention how do you know where a TD is in the first chapter of my book I talk about what I call attention deficit disorder and even though that's a mental health challenge that I don't make fun of it anyway I'm very serious about mental health I do believe in something called relational ad D and that's when you're in a relationship with somebody who doesn't pay attention to you that could be a man or a woman and what happens is we in relationship with somebody that doesn't pay attention to you too doesn't appreciate you getting value you you tend to look for that attention in other places and it really happens early on in a relationship because there's a period in a marriage where I call them BC days and 80 days so BC days is before children before my kids came I was first before man has kids he can have sex anywhere in the kitchen right now on the floor just anyway then the key is come and everything got to be sterilizing and make sure they sleep close the door lock the door then I'm mad at the key is trying to get him benadryl and Tylenol make him go to go to sleep messing on trying to kiss some got asleep right now I beat you I tell this story all the time I can't I gotta be careful telling it I hope this ain't being recorded my youngest son I didn't like my youngest son for many years when he would breastfeed he would hold my wife's breasts and he would look at me and laugh I still don't like him he 23 I'm like that's my breasts but once a woman has children her energy is redirected towards the kids they need her they can't make it they can't feed themselves so now she's been with kids all day and if she's working that's even harder and keep baths and do homework and and break up fights and all that and then at 10:30 he he come upstairs trying to get some users trying to get some sleep so what a man needs is to be prioritized and know that he's still a priority that you make time for him he needs attention here's the second thing men need see I know they didn't say it in the video but men need sex and intimacy it's not just sex although men love sex it's not just the pleasure of sex it's the closeness to sex brings now we as men we love sex we love what I call you know sometimes a quickie is really beneficial I call it quick filet this sounds cuz it's you know it's fast sometimes just need to just get your mind straight so you can go back to sleep by the way you know y'all get mad at us because we go to sleep after sex let me explain why a man goes to sleep after sex when a man has sex with his wife he deposits something in her called seed is in Hebrew as zero is life a woman receives C so you receive life we gave life that's why we dropped a head and died we you don't lay down your life without dying you got to go that's why y'all up rolling your hair and all perky because we put life in y'all [Applause] I'm just giving you the science men actually feel closer to their wives when we have sex because if you watch a man if any how many y'all married watch this don't your husband act Wow when he not getting some he got a little attitude walking around like a little kid will she talk about the only change when you give them some people like need me put some gas in your car which you need in dumping trash are you good the whole thing we also feel closer to y'all when we have sex so it man feels closer when he has sex here's the problem a woman has to feel close to want it otherwise you're just going to show up and be a mannequin to say hurry up this is my responsibility to you you don't say all that but that's but a man can tell that and if he's saved he gonna take what he can get cuz he know any supposed to go nowhere else so it's difficult because a man needs sex to feel close but a woman needs to feel close so that tension becomes a very difficult space in relationship and you had to get help with that here's the number thing the third thing a real man wants a wife not a girlfriend now we talked about that that question came up a real man wants a wife not a girlfriend so in proverbs 18:22 says when a man Fanta still finds a wife he finds a good thing when he found her she was a wife right what's the difference between a boyfriend and a girlfriend and a wife and a husband it's mentality let me talk about men first I'll talk about this I spend two chapters talking about this in the book you can have a grown man that acts like a boy and when you know a man is a boy this is how you know a man is a boy in his maturity and behavior is when he likes to play games and I don't just mean e39 but he in the basement playing Madden which is another sign you called let me say you know I'm playing my season right now he's 39 years old caught up in a virtual world but this is the deal you have to understand we tend to play with things we don't we don't intend to own most people don't treat things they're renting like they treat things they plan on owning so the reason why a lot of men don't want to find a good thing and get married is because they're really boys and the way you know they're boys is because they like playing they like playing that's why you call them a boy friend and that's what because they play they like playing games that's why we call them a player and in the world of immature men the more game you got the more of a player you are that's how the world works so why would a man want to give up being single when he's getting on it's like being at the prom every weekend a single man in this culture has more attention that he can never imagine he's got women flirting with him he's got women trying to walk up to him he's got women praying over him women asking for to believe in God for him all that that's a lot of attention it's like every day he's a hero he's the homecoming king every day so it's hard when a man's got all that attention to make a decision because he'd rather play but a real man wants a wife not a girlfriend he really does he wants to be held accountable because he knows he can't reach his full potential without a helpmeet without somebody he's doing life with he wants to share with somebody he wants to cover somebody he wants to pour into somebody he wants to honor somebody he wants to raise children he wants to father somebody but a boy just wants to keep playing that's why on the flip side between a wife and a girlfriend a girlfriend is a mentality and the longer you see this Isreal difference being a wife and a girlfriend in your mind a girlfriend is happy to be a part of a man's life just a part a wife knows she supposed to be the dominant part in his life it's in your mind you know next to God is me you also a wife only has sex with her husband that's her mentality a wife only has sex with her husband that's her mentality i'ma say it one more time I don't need you to clap a wife only has sex with her husband that's her mentality which means this if you're single and you're not celibate you have a girlfriends mentality because you're acting like your wife which means you're playing - he's playing video games but you're playing house remember we used to play house as kids you acting like you his wife that's why you pay his bills that's why you wash his clothes that's why you raise his children because you acting like a wife but he ain't putting a ring on your finger and you ain't had no ceremony well I'm saying you're just as stupid as he's goofy y'all need to grow up that's a mentality it's a mentality so you end up being somebody watch this and if a man can have a chick like that if he can have a chick with he all over you in private but want to keep everything on the down low in public I don't want to buy him my bidness shorty just so y'all go to the movies way down and in just a Pennsylvanian somewhere instead of movies while we going on home with like nobody my business he never holds your hand in public he never takes pictures with you he never post anything about you all together watch this watch this you're strangers in the light but you're intimate in the night so he gets to sleep with you like you're his wife he gets to eat your cooking like he's your wife but he won't make a commitment to you and I'm saying you're stupid that's because you have a girlfriend mentality and people let me tell you something else as a girlfriend's mentality a girlfriend mentality is when you finance a man like you're his mother or his wife so when you cosign for him and put an apartment in your name and you doing all this stuff helping them get a business loan and pay for his cell phone and doing all this little stuff you got it see that's because you're a parent what you really need is a partner you need to write that down you're a parent to a grown man but we should really need as a partner but as long as you keep raising a man you will never and as long as you have a girlfriend mentality you'll be a lifelong girlfriend so he can keep that relationship going for a long time marital vows are always public this supposed to be public some people get married in private they don't tell nobody that's the most important decision you ever made in your life you're some man should some authority in your life supposed to give you away to a man that means they have evaluated him how you get to marry you without checking in with somebody that covers you that's another stupid thing you do that means he's not accountable and everybody needs to have some crazy man life some crazy uncle's some psycho father some grandfather's of mine that will look like at least that he will shoot a man if you don't treat you right I want every man to mess with my daughter to have a little family you know that crazy right there crazy I want you to understand that if anything goes south then I will come looking for you you'll get to don't get to have relationship with her outside of the context of our knowledge let me tell you what else men one how y'all doing I don't know what I'm both stop men one a quadruple F it takes a town that could Drupal F what does that mean they want they want a woman to be fun please don't be boring yeah I had all that fun before you got married anyone do number go to revival prayer service that ain't no fun that's necessary do something to just break the rules they want to have fun they want a woman that's faithful and faith filled so what man wants a woman that's faithful you know what a woman that's gonna be unfaithful to him but also want a woman every man really wants a spiritual woman that he can get one this ignition she can get one through forms you can get to the Lord here's another F I don't know of a man that doesn't want a woman who's a little freaky now you can sit in church and act like that ain't the case hey man I know what a little freak but not she got be faithful and faithful and freaky what I'm saying that balance let me get some scriptures that may help me Song of Solomon is a powerful story in the Bible I go through a chapter in Song of Solomon in the book I spent some time and I think I got some verses I just want to read some scriptures to yonder John I give you out of Song of Solomon verses I just want to read them to y'all and see if what y'all think about it and I don't even know if they have them but they gonna come on the screen if they don't then then just read it on your own but there's some freaky stuff going on in the Song of Solomon yeah they're two verses so they don't have them print it out but well okay maybe we can pull them up cuz y'all may not notice in the Bible so Song of Solomon chapter 2 verse 16 let me go there you know used to be we carry Bibles at church then we got them in our phone touch your neighbor just in my I'm glad you made it today watch this listen to his song of songs chapter 2 verse 16 says it's up there okay she said distinctly my beloved is mine and I am he is he pastors his flock among the lilies then longingly addressing her absent Shepherd she cried until the day breaks and the shadows flee keep going away returned hastily oh my beloved and be like a gazelle or a young heart as you cover the mountains which separate us now I don't like that translation because it gets too spiritual but was he really telling him to do is get wet get me that's what she really saying it's really there there's all kinds of real hot stuff going on and in in Song of Solomon and so you should read it and role play like one of y'all be the Shulamite woman you'd be the studio a woman and you'd be song song cuz there's scriptures where he's going all the way down her body and starting with her tongue and telling her what's under her tongue and then he's talking about her neck and how her neck is described and he goes and starts describing her breasts and then he goes down and starts talking about a heap of wheat and he's between her thighs you know she says eat my friend that's what she says she says that in the Bible that says song this summer that's what she said now what you think she meant anyway y'all ain't ready for me he wants a woman that's financially responsible let me go to something safe [Applause] men get frustrated with women who are financially irresponsible who blow money frivolously some men who just believe God we need to save money for tuition I just believe God now here's here's one wrap this up what does God want what does God want that's important to not just what men want what does God want God wants you to be a rib God made you a rib and one of the ribs function is to protect God's do ribs protect organs you're there to protect your husband so that means you have to go through his phone and you have to do this huh okay you have to go through his phone you had to check you have to show up for places you have to investigate you're there to protect God wants you to respect God wants you to be a rib array of also supports you should be your husband's biggest cheerleader support him cherimoya one of the jobs I get to do with working in chapels in the NBA a lot of guys don't want to play for this team here in DC because the fan base is so fickle they would boo players on their home team and I'm telling you when a man is playing for a home team that's booing him he wants to be traded he wants to play for another team number two God God wants you to respect your husband diffusions 533 says though says a wife should a man should love his wife and the wife should respect her husband I don't care how tough a man look we men look our egos are very fragile and the way you talk to us is very important if you're single what does God one God wants you to know you're worthy of the best-loved leave married men alone even men who are about to get divorced who are going through a divorce if he's fully divorced Lee Malone you never know what God's gonna do in that relationship that you don't stepped in you say weight was before it was hopeful I got to it you can't blame me they was down if I got there if it ain't over you get out trust God that he gonna give you a man that's fully single stay out of marriages you're worthy not of any love like Luther and Roe says are you now worthy of a part-time lover like Stevie Wonder says you're worthy of the best love God demonstrated his love towards you that while you were yet a sinner Christ died for you bled to death if he died for you while you were a sinner you're worthy of the best love he's already showed you that God wants you to love him first and yourself second you ever heard that acronym joy jo why people say if you put Jesus first others second yourself last you'll have joy sounds good it's a lie even on the airplane they show you who should come first if you lose cabin pressure in the airplane they tell you put your own mask on first then you help your kids you got to take care of yourself and be your best self so that when you come to help other people you come from a full plane you can't feed anybody if you're hungry take care of yourself and God wants you to stop wasting time single ladies in foolish relationships stop wasting time I'm gonna do this illustration and I'm done I have $100 in my pocket right now if I got home tonight and I didn't know where this hunter was I was like I don't even know where and I just lost it I can get another hundred dollars but if I lose time I can never get it back it will never be 1115 today ever again it will never be Saturday March 6th 2nd and heal everything ever again when you lose time you never get it back do not waste time in an ambiguous relationship that you have no idea where it's going if you ain't clear and we don't get clarity we're gonna have a separation that's what we're gonna have let's stand we're out of time was this good today they want to make sure we'll make sure you get out on time so you won't be talking about us ditch first of all on behalf of the women's ministry here the First Baptist Church at Glen Arden first lady Trina pastors John Kay Jenkins senior thank all of you for coming out today making the sacrifice to be here [Applause] hopefully you heard something today that made you laugh but hopefully heard somebody made you think like how can I be better as a woman single or married how can I go to the next level I made the sacrifice to be here how can I do that I think everything starts with God everything starts with our relationship with him it starts with being in right relationship with the one who made me because there is no greater love than to love you have with the Lord it's unconditional the there's a song I heard recently I can t remember the whole song but it says it the God's love is reckless it'll chase you down yeah there's no mountain he won't climb up and darkness he won't light up coming after you there's no wall he won't kick down and lie he won't tear down coming after you because he loves you he's pursuing you he'll come and get you out of trouble all you got to do is call his name he loves you more than you will ever know and if you'll trust him with your heart he'll make sure it gets in the right hands so today I'm calling you to a decision of trust and surrender maybe you're here today and you've never fully surrendered your life to him some money invited you but you say I've never really been committed to the Lord in a moment I want to invite you to come to the front and say I really want to surrender my life to the Lord because I want his best I don't ride it man I haven't been with men I didn't ride women on and tried everything and tried triples but isn't it amazing that it all leaves you empty jesus said the water I'd give you to a woman that had five husbands and the man she was with wasn't her husband he says I got something to give you and when you drink this you'll never be thirsty again never so if you're here today you want to surrender your life to the Lord we want to invite you to come if you here today and you say I want to recommit my life to the Lord I've been far away and I want to recommit you don't have to belong to this church but you want to recommit in a moment I'm gonna ask you to come and thirdly if you're here today and you want to join the First Baptist Church of Glen Arden you don't have to wait til tomorrow you can come up now say I want to become a member of this church anyone knows three categories come on now I want to surrender my life to God I want to recommit my life to God oh I want to join this church today amen amen [Music] [Music] hallelujah that's great y'all well we never read Dean wetness no yes yes Oh JC chases be there yes [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] I could turn it see you [Music] okay one more prayer request before we go I don't think God has placed this grace and this responsibility on Vicki and I we really didn't think we would make it we stayed because we had to we had kids and when I was passing a church we were too stubborn to leave but God supernaturally changed our marriage and he didn't do it he gave us tools to use that we practice and women he practice I'm like we should all the time but it's so much better now I want to volunteer the two of us to pray for anybody today come on up here with me love whose marriage is in trouble if any woman in here knows what it's like to have a marriage that's in trouble and a husband to don't want to act right a husband don't want to stay she's been through it and lived it and so if you all could step this way we want to lead those out who come to who come to make a decision for Christ today but I want to clear the space for those who say my marriage is in trouble my marriage is in trouble and you know what it's in trouble you don't have to get bad for us in trouble one thing you know some more come on Axl come on [Music] he's coming out today he's coming [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] now so the question is always will pastor how I'm supposed to do it what he won't do right don't we both have to want this don't we both have to work on this No why is that you always do it you're supposed to do nobody can make you not do what you're supposed to do but how's it gonna work if he don't check in I got a scripture for you one can chase a thousand I know we like it into two can chase ten thousand but let me tell you something before we got together one of us could chase a thousand and that two of us together is exponential because you would think the two can chase two thousand but if we come together to can chase ten thousand that's the vision you need to have but one can still chase a thousand by yourself you can make a difference in your house you can let in your life and if God saves it he saves it if he rescues and he rescues you but you make sure you do what you're supposed to do that's all you can control I can't control him I can't control his attitude I'm not saying be stupid but I'm saying the love of God is patient it's kind it envy snot it pontiff's not itself it seeketh not her own it's long-suffering it it rejoices not in iniquity but it rejoices in the truth it hopes all things it bears all things believes all things love never fails the love of God that chase you down that for you it's the same love you can have for your child you can have with your husband you can happen somebody who hurt you that ain't actually in love with your love I'm actually love with his love his love his love not that Street stuff it says I'm did we quit on people all time will unfollow somebody on social media we quit churches we quit job anybody it upsets us we quit so we show any saying there no marriage we liked but the love of God makes you stand and having done all this pain to stand there for gratitude all that you but I just pray for these precious women here who are seeing their darkest times but I know God that your darkest hour in you Jesus you can make it our brightest hour you turn our darkness light into the brightest day and I just pray for every woman here that her specific situation that you would give her strategies if you would give her a heart of love and discernment and wisdom to love our husband to you in the name of Jesus and we just will give you the praise and the honor and we won't just give you glory and testify of your goodness and even if you don't do it God will still praise you in the name of Jesus I pray amen [Applause]

Channel: Inside FBCG

Views: 28,127

Rating: 4.7825465 out of 5

Keywords: What Men Want, Keith Battle, FBCG, Pastor, Women's Fellowship, First Lady Trina Jenkins, Trina Jenkins, First Lady, Zion Church, Vicki, Vicki Battle, Womens Conference, Movie

Id: hf4U6035Y6s

Length: 62min 41sec (3761 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 25 2019