Sebastian Maniscalco Funniest Podcast Moments

[Music] i grew up dancing oh yeah we went to the dance clubs that's all we did did y'all were like sock ops ymca would you guys go to no we went to um they used to call them dance parties and uh this wasn't this was at a this was not a at a sun on a sunday night at a bar called toto's oh yeah which turned into a teen dance club on sunday night right so we would go and me and my buddy francesco had these shirts made up and on the on the back of this is talkable weird your audience will love this uh we had on the back of the shirt italian boys and we used to me and him used to do the same move with these shirts on so you guys are synchronized to science as a synchronized italian dancers like we would practice all week because we thought we were going to pick up girls because of the way we danced right but this is the 80s so many hand movements oh there's like a [ __ ] buddy's eye out yeah but he's kind of [ __ ] there was a lot of up here you know my hands were always up by the head for some reason a lot of look-offs so uh you always had that working-class italian work ethic you would just show up and you do your [ __ ] work we would be in vegas you'd show up i you never saw sebastian out there partying drinking girls he was just he'd show up like a gentleman well-dressed don't be surprised if he's got cufflinks shoes are polished he'd get up there crush a room about 1500 people and then [ __ ] leave you come in and do your job and then i think you were a waiter at uh four seasons for how many years seven years yeah but that one was nice compared to some of the other stuff you did yeah early on it was rough i was selling satellite dishes in the ghetto uh what's what's your pitch because you're such a bubbly guy well this is what i did um it was at the baldwin hills mall on crenshaw martin luther king drive that's that's a good area all right and uh you fit in there oh i fit right in and i had a kiosk and i was uh selling dish network uh subscriptions out of a kiosk and what i would do since it was an urban type of mall black i hate that expression urban black it was a blackest [ __ ] it's all good god bless oh yeah so uh i would put michael jackson on because i i dvr'd the michael jackson like 25-year reunion of motown or whatever so you're you're bait was michael michael jackson so out of touch was this the 70s or this was in 2001 2002. and i had about 85 people around the kiosk just doing feelings and no one buying dishes just dancing so um yeah i did that for a while and just a little it's a good time but no sales no sales like sebastian we love you man you're bringing a crowd but you haven't sold one goddamn ditch man no dish is sold it was bad i got i got into bad financial debt uh after doing that um now how did you meet your girl i met her at the gym i met her uh we had a personal trainer mutual so you both shared a personal trainer yeah and i asked him i go you got any good looking girls you uh you could give me you give me yeah you put me around maybe the the good looking go yeah i got one in the morning i said well it's a little early for me but put me like kind of like behind her and then i'll check her out and i saw her and we started talking and uh she was on the treadmill and i came up next door and i said uh you wanna you wanna go out with us how could she how could she say no in in your chicago italian accent you want to go out with this you want to go out and did you did you drag your hand down your torso did you take both hands and just sort of gently bring it in cuff links on a treadmill what uh what are you doing here running yeah yeah i'm looking it's hard to pick up girls at a gym man well i i i had the uh the advantage of getting introduced to her prior to asking her out but what i would do and this is very italian when i would go to the gym i would get ready because i knew she was going to be there so i showered gelled i did i put baby oil on you do baby oil out of the shower no to lock in the moisture try it makes sense little baby oil on so i would come in and my trainer would be kind of stretching me and he goes what the [ __ ] the hell don't you put on your body slippers [Laughter] so oh man [ __ ] greatest thing i've ever heard like i like someone's taking a bird scooter to the gym in the morning you know and i don't have nice calves and i have shorts on so for me it's really humbling you know bro taking [ __ ] lean calves out for a spin on a bird 39 years old bro have you have you felt at all safe on that thing i did it once or twice and it just the you know one bump and it's over right yeah there's not a lot of um there's not a lot of opportunity for safety i don't feel like on them overall dude one lady hit the dirt bro about everybody sprouts over by me right this lady [ __ ] way too old to be on one had a bag of groceries just hit the dirt bro and just didn't move at all right instead of helping there was like two people yelling this [ __ ] is down over here right and i was like oh my god yeah i at least haunt my horn real loud as i [ __ ] drove off you know but she but she bit it man groceries all over like um yeah it's a lot of well listen these birds you know it's it's it's good for you want to go to the gym you want to go to a buddy's house fine you pick one up you go but what i've seen on these birds is like you were saying people are carrying groceries then i saw a guy that apparently the you take a burden you you go and charge it right and people make money the guy was on a bird with two birds on his shoulder okay uh it's just it's not made for that you know what i'm saying that's so [ __ ] bruh that's crazy dude when you flocking man that's rocking the bird that's crazy yeah sometimes you'll see some guy at night just throwing them all into a [ __ ] van you know and this is one of your moves bro stolen from you right how many dishes did you sell not a one huh uh yeah i would sell it was a hundred bucks i got per per dish yeah i thought like okay you know i'll sell five maybe five a day it's not that hard everybody needs cable or some type of entertainment in their home but uh it was a really tough sell i mean also when i did sell one they thought i was customer service so they would call me in the dumb ass i am i would put my home line on my card because i didn't want to run up my minutes this is when minutes and cell phones were big yeah so i didn't i didn't have enough money to like take the minute so i'm like i'll give them my home line but my office so i would get a call at three o'clock in the morning and they'd be like uh yeah uh like what what channel is cnn i'm like uh i it's 200 on the remote so i'm like fielding customer service calls at three o'clock in the morning so uh yeah i don't know man like two hundred ring [ __ ] landline tell me get a nickel yeah not dime one so yeah those are the i mean early on i was working at i used to be captain morgan um at bars i used to walk in you were dressed like a pirate pirate i didn't come in as a pirate i had my outfit in my bag yeah and i would ask the bar owner excuse me was there a place i could set up i was going to pass out shots do you have captain morgan girls too no just me oh wow well that's a good time that's not depressing at all yeah no girls no nothing i would walk into like a biker bar and they're eating you know peanuts and beer and i would come out of the bathroom and be like oh hey mateys it's actually a very good place what a terrible [ __ ] harrowing plan i kill myself terrible i'll cut my own throat do we have any other questions from the crew here were any of those guys from the irishman like since they're all italian guys were they fans of your comedy and watched it and yeah i didn't know if they knew what i even did or if they knew i was a stand-up comedian i didn't know any of that so going into this um the first day when de niro came out he came up to me and he said uh i hear you doing good things and i'm like you're like what oh my god does he did someone tell him to say that or did you know why they trade i feel like what's going on here so yeah i didn't know i didn't know what the hell they knew and i still don't i mean i uh deniro had came to a my show at radio city after the irishman which we talked backstage more than we ever talked on on on set on so i didn't i didn't talk to him at all really so you just go do your stuff and then kind of go back to your corner yeah well they they went to their corner and i went to my corner yeah um and and you know they were talking amongst themselves like it would be like cut and then de niro and pesci and scorsese would kind of talk amongst themselves and then i'd be like i wasn't gonna go in the huddle though you're like oh yeah yeah i think so too you know like what am i gonna do i was i was on the sideline yeah like i'm gonna go have another mini snicker over here predict my future decide if i'm good enough to hang out here for another minute is uh popular for whatever reason and has no talent and they blow up but i don't care about that either i don't want to be that cause that's not really substantive you know yeah so you know there's it's really a question the perspective that you take and how you look at things this [ __ ] is hard enough with on your it's hard enough competing with your [ __ ] self uh competing with other people and comparing i don't know how to do that i mean i understand it's very human to do i understand that but it's it's a bad idea no i get you let me talk i'm the guest um i hear you [Music] [Laughter] oh my god oh god [Laughter] i notice and this is probably the italian in me i don't like that you got your name outside on the wall yeah i i think it should be non-descript yeah don't don't trust cause yeah kind of some psychotic come by and then oh this is where he podcasts out of you know kind of like a little under the radar no that's a good idea actually i think also because there's a lot of mental health in this building so it's like yeah i think they're all gonna get one you know one of those freaking brain hamsters relapses and next thing you know they come nibbling through the door you know the first guy they go after yeah but yeah that's the italian that you man right you guys do hide and go seek like every day it's like almost 24 hours a day that's right no no one never knows where we're at yeah you know you got a sign out there might as well be a neon hey man stop trying to be like buddy buddy with him well i'm just saying man my natural leanness as a bonding thing i've been watching you guys from afar and seeing what you're doing i'm seeing you on the red carpet now which is uh that must be a a a whole different animal for you i mean it's it's kind of this it's got a show on show time now this [ __ ] guy are you a showtime show too who needs money um he's changed too [ __ ] old stepson over here [ __ ] good old step dad brian daddy over here the old gray [ __ ] dinosaur barnacle you guys talk amongst yourselves i honestly got when he got the showtime thing and he got the and he's doing a red carpet jealous [Laughter] you kind of you kind of like shoved at your heart like my heart yeah well i just i've just figured that's yeah i mean i'll never be the same and i consider him a traitor but i'm not happy for him i'm happy for him [Music] so you

Channel: YINYANG MONKEY

Views: 48,215

Keywords: sebastian maniscalco, sebastian maniscalco compilation, sebastian maniscalco funniest bits, yin yang monkey, yin yang monkey sebastian, comedian, funny podcast, podcast compilation, theo von, tpw, this past weekend, tfatk, the fighter and the kid

Id: WIWw1zBKHco

Length: 13min 50sec (830 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 12 2021