r/Tinder... | fresh

what is on my aesthetic poise it's fresh back with another video if like myself your sadistically interested in diving into the inner machinations of the world's worst dating app you've come to the right place one order of pizza I don't need cheese mmm crow of judgment expert medical reasons come on you should have stated how weak your bloodline was in your tinder bio can you imagine how packed trails would be if everyone on tinder who said they liked hiking actually did it I think we've matched before Oh have we do you remember my opener you asked me if I'd sit on your face and watch Harry Potter ah yep that sounds like me for sure okay I hate to be the bearer of bad news here but I mean logistically speaking this makes no sense I contacted a nurse friend of mine who confirmed that eyes are on our faces which would make it potentially difficult to watch Harry Potter whilst being sat upon and furthermore given any reasonable orientation of bodies and viewing screens it seems not possible that both parties would be able to comfortably see one screen in such a position either we're working with the two monitor setup or this guy is a contortionist both sound sick as hell don't mind me just looking for a friend with benefits medical and dental is preferred but if you got some eye care I'll take that too well redacted how did it know as a secret you secret's safe with me and Benji you're lucky I'm not a Grammer enough because otherwise I would roast you so hard with you you're okay yeah you're right you are secret's safe with me and Benji yeah I don't think you're fooling anyone into thinking that you're a grammar nut hey little babe what brings you to tinder depression we meet again on a dear friend Michelle I wonder what uh what punny pick-up lines will see this time hey I'm a turtle turtle and I'm not feeling so well I'm missing my armor will you be my shell what the hell hey hello there what's up I just chilling what about yourself now sitting in a waiting room at the moment whoa what you waiting on had to take my granddad to the eye doctor oh I see but I guess he doesn't huh US Army huh you must be my most patriotic match so far man possibly what are your thoughts on area 51 storming they are all idiots are you kidding me that's exactly what someone hiding aliens would say gotcha damn what a guy got a do well if you send me some breakfast money I'll consider beep beep beep beep boop man what I mean I was serious but ok yeah I was - looked like he was trying to talk to an ATM so I put him on are you from here yeah nice no any good spots for a date museums is there one you prefer art I bet I can guess your favorite style of art go for it minimalism um you're lucky I'm not a grammar nut because I would have pointed out that that's the wrong your hey B hey can you turn your D flat into a D sharp for me well as long as you're not a minor hey I love your hair red is my favorite color I wish it was natural oh well anyway I think it's gorgeous I'll thank you you can play with it if you want it wouldn't be the only thing I'd play with what else would you play with your emotions can I please use your penis for a scientific research what are you studying microbiology hey what's your favorite era I'll try to come up with a pick-up line accordingly the Great Depression because it's relatable ok real quick before I continue are you ok what's your favorite part of history most people don't know that back in 1912 Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England in fact the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiments scheduled for delivery in Veracruz Mexico which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after it stopped in New York this would have been the largest single shipment of mayonnaise ever delivered to Mexico but as we know the great ship did not make it to New York the ship in an iceberg and sank and the cargo was forever lost the people of Mexico who were crazy about mayonnaise and we're eagerly awaiting its delivery were disconsolate the loss their anguish was so great that they declared a national day of mourning which they still observe to this day the National Day of Mourning occurs each year on May 5th and is known of course as Cinco de Mayo oh my god well Dan that has to be one of the best drawn-out jokes I've I've ever heard this truly is a master of his craft I just really hope that that's a good oh my god and not an oh my god I'm definitely I imagine this guy I'm gonna have to report this to Spotify it didn't show you on how to singles this week oh I'm sure they would because I haven't made the charts [Music] Charts it okay look I've been thinking about this for the last three days and I still don't know what the hell you mean ooh looks like we match with deja hey how many pickup lines do you get about deja vu surprisingly I think it's only ever happened once yeah but how many pickup lines you get about deja vu well I applaud you on the execution of this pickup line five out of five stars right but how many pickup lines do you get about deja hey sorry it took a day to respond but like this thing has been really bothering me do you think crabs look at humans and think we walk sideways are you high no I just think it's wild how if crabs ruled the world they teach their kids that all the other animals walk sideways and and who's to say that they're wrong hey Graham or not we got another one this bozo left off an apostrophe see it says there but it should say they apostrophe re you want to blow another tinder date another tinder conversation gone down the trash see this is why you aren't dating anyone allow me to introduce myself I don't want to have some fun does the prospect of astrophysics make you moister than an oyster what a bot check I don't know a half of those words well that's not great considering it's only two yeah 50% ain't passing anywhere oh we got black redacted out here lookin nice age 25 flight attendant hijack my heart hey so uh why did the old man to fall in the well why oh also uh knocking Ally I kind of want to do a threesome with two guys well I'm new to this and this would be my first time but I have someone else down if you want to give it a try I because he couldn't he couldn't see the well it was I just wanted to say a joke and okay it was a joke let me say the punch line of the joke me report the profile of a catfish on gender well it ain't much but it's honest work I am intrigued by your superpower what was Abraham Lincoln's favorite color ever wonder why all the union states are blue on the map it's because Lincoln's favorite color was blue I did use my supernatural ability to confirm well that is the most compelling evidence I've ever heard and to verify it with supernatural abilities it must be true I mean John Wilkes Booth must have known too since he blew his brains out hey Sophie your smile is contagious so did you imagine with me for the exclusive Pokemon faxer for the Portuguese drink tasting ha death for the pokemons now did you know that ditto is a failed clone of MU yeah I know I know I was speechless for days too when I found out I know it says Kyle you can just call me daddy the only person I call daddy is the doodoos Balls I came from that's right the man who birthed me sorry Kyle maybe we can drink monster and punch holes in try ball together hmm they always say yee-ha but never Holly I hate what I'm trying to boot scoot boogie but I boogie my scoop ooh man that's the worst does it happen often yeah every time I try to eat on a DAB it does I try to keep my eats a DAB separate for that exact reason but if you keep them separate how do you find time to 420 noscope in your christian minecraft server oh not on my christian minecraft server I'm not sure whether to be impressed or disappointed no no I do I'm definitely disappointed whoo we got Daniela 21 not looking for anything I want to find people who hate their jobs and are looking for a change give me 10 to 15 minutes of your day oh god not again girls on tinder liking dogs is this a personality law contender it's about the closest you can find god I hate when people put group pics on tinder look how am I supposed to know which ones Brett like 20 people in this picture Brett where are you Brett are you are you bred are you I just don't know hey what say we skip the small talk get a drink and see if we hate each other now can I wait til I get over the flu well you know Michael Jordan played through the flu in 1997 and scored 38 points in Game five of the series and you're telling me you can't go get a cup of coffee thank you to everyone who watched this video be sure to subscribe for more daily Reddit content drop a like if you liked the video and I will see you all tomorrow [Music]

Channel: fresh

Views: 164,037

Rating: 4.9485798 out of 5

Keywords: fresh, fresh reddit, reddit, r/, fresh r/, f r e s h, fresh tinder, fresh r/tinder, r/tinder, tinder, tinder fails, reddit fail, fail, win, cringe, reddit cringe, tinder cringe

Id: lJInzP68yqE

Length: 10min 23sec (623 seconds)

Published: Thu Jul 18 2019