D&D, But The Players Are Terrible

I made an RPG and got three players who were um they were unique let me show you so basically we got a warlock who is slowly dying we got a centaur who wants to be a horse and last but not least we have a paladin who worships bread they had a fight against a crazy twist villain it was none other than oops I almost spoiled it anyways enjoy I'm sorry years left yeah so Doug he cast spells with years left on his life so okay oh nice they're very loose rules in Noah's game show if you have a weird idea then it goes can I breast Doug this is a completely open world RPG you guys can do whatever you want and go wherever you want there's a gold coin hidden on every slide somewhere I cast demon familiar okay I love love I tell my demon familiar to ride on failboat okay Doug that will take five years off of your life okay cool I feel more spry already so does that make you younger Doug so like you're looking a little bit like more more youthful um I teleport away from point cro where do you teleport to the right I want to look at Doug real quick how how old does he look well now I only look 46 well no no how old were you cuz that's years left okay yeah Douglas what is the name of the creature on my back who we've been adventuring with for 20 years his name is fortnite default dance I'll I'll ride after Doug gold coin I shout back at pointcrow oh oh my God I'm going to go grab the the gold coin and keep it for myself I'm going I'm don't put it in my mouth okay you get one more gold coin then let's go I want to make it known that I I am holding all three gold coins in my mouth okay I I will keep that as a note yeah it's very important I move to the right okay that's cool L this is so funny all right hark A demon he guards the coin my hair Flows In The Wind you guys know what I've always wanted to be what have you wanted to be Doug a 25-year-old I cast black hole on the dragon okay well that's going to take a good 20 years off that life 25 years left wait you're not 25 no I'm 25 I'm 25 now I just used all of my life on the dragon okay okay so you're going to cast black hoe then yeah the coin oh got the coin I hope I hope the coin doesn't go in the black hole oh 18 18 let's go huge roll because that's really high can we say that the other side of the black hole ends inside of inside of Point Crow's mouth I Mich gold coins please uh yeah I guess at one end of the black hole the drag goes in and the other the coins shoot out pointcrow loses his coins okay nice do how could you oh a hat we'll say the coin is gone too Point Crow you also lose all of your gold that hurt that hurt can I pray to my God no you're looking a lot younger point I'm looking I'm looking a lot younger now do we want to give FDD the Hat yeah can we give him my familiar the Hat he's always wanted one okay I Gallop closer to the water how deep does it seem to be uh about uh ankle length Okay I control water to part the sea to allow a safe passage to the other Island necessary it was ankle deep you're a horse who knows what could be in this treacherous Waters Doug I pared the river okay go f grab the Hat wait wait before you go across I want to force field to make sure that no drops of water touch your feet he's not he's not going to melt in water you don't know that I guess I don't there was just a Hydra there man I tell my familiar to go get the hat and he does the gritty all the way across the water and look at that now that we've all void you know we we all pitched in something here I parted the water you blocked it off and now Doug your little FDD gets to grab the is he one step at a time the grittiest oh my God right foot creep oh he's finally got a new fortnite skin he's wanted one so long okay Doug with the hat it can be used once and it can swap the place of any two objects o okay let us Venture North North think we go can we agree I'm at the head of the party because I'm only 25 so I'm in really good shape yeah yeah I I completely yeah I like that yeah an evil tree I cast black hole no no no just kidding hey we can't be taken care of an infant man wait how young can I get okay I think you're misinterpreting this but that's okay not the age but I love it I mean either way when he gets to zero he still dies I'm Benjamin buttoning right I'm getting younger and more spry as this goes on no yeah I think I'm looking I feel spry though and that's what that's what looks mostly are can I get another shot of the ability page real quick yeah we're losing resources very quickly seems there might be something lurking at the back of that tree I'm going to I'm going to peer around the side of it and see see if there's any blue shaped objects unfortunately it's a two-dimensional world and you can only see the tree and a little blue thing I lift under the I lift up the tree trunk okay this is going to be a strength check oh okay yeah you got to get a 13 or higher I dig my back feet into the Supple Earth keep going keep going keep going keep going keep going keep going okay you're going to throw your back out ow fortnite default dance tries to lift up the tree okay fortnite default dance is going to try and liftt up the tree get in there FTD can he have Advantage because failboat is pushing up with his horseback I'll say so yeah okay this is a great start for your advantage it's Advantage yeah roll twice take the higher roll uhoh wow three and five what a wa we do it together okay he's going to throw this tree out of the way oh oh gold coins he eats the gold coin I'm I'm going to run towards the gold coin and put in my mouth it's a race of speed I'm going to put in my mouth before he can touch it okay Point grow if you get a roll of uh 11 or higher you get the gold coin EAS I win [Music] these he wins these I win these right well well played but I will be black ho holding your mouth later I've got a lot more life left do you think I'm going to let you have that Doug there's a there's a staff over there I run towards the staff okay let me quickly look up what this thing does okay well question is that a spoon could I eat cereal with it I mean there's nothing stopping you from eating cereal with anything I take the spoon to that pond to the southwest and I start eating food out of it I don't think you have any food Doug I appreciate you I got you I would like to pray to my God the bread Lord to spawn bread inside of the pond okay oh rise my yeast oh rise for thou sh forsaken the bread do do you think I'm a duck this isn't what cereal is it's oats it's oats my God is the bread God it's not the cereal God this is what we have to deal with I'm just spooning soggy bread out of a pond is and you're going to like it that is a gift from my god there it is the bakery in the sky okay yeah but the the spoon can be used to make a wall of rocks ooh Oo northward we go does eating the bread give me a year of life left back uh we'll say yeah it gives you up to 26 that's holy bread right there that bread came from the bakery all right big Bakery in the sky Bakery in the sky you guys will enter combat now a camp of Bandits oh no how big does that black hole reach we're going to have to eat a lot of Bread soup to get me to do another black hole don't worry I can pray a lot failboat uh you're the fastest you're up first I see an evilish looking one with red eyes and a goate the mark of evil and I shoot him with my bow okay let's see how well that goes pulling it back laying the string draw to a hair's breath I release it and it misses entirely well there goes an arrow can he have Advantage though because fortnite default dance is playfully braiding his hair ah no over ruled with his tongue with his tongue Point Crow you're up I would like to walk up to the nearest guy right I'd like to look him sensually in the eye and just say you're toasted and cast Smite on him okay if this doesn't go well you can push him in the fire yeah easy has so much Mana it is a holy Smite oh my god oh but it's going to be no okay unfortunately your God is obset with you after taking his bread and putting it in the water so your God is actually going to Smite you oh my oh my wow please Doug it's your turn um I run up to the Bandit that point Crow is at and I Jam my spoon deep into his mouth okay hell man is eating today anything [Music] else uh and then I kick him in the balls okay classic one two I don't know what I can do I only have a few years of life left oh years of life oh years 13 that's not going to be enough without a weapon withit the spoon that's it's the the deadly magical spoon of Aristophanes Point arist yes I've heard of such things yes okay okay it's going to be the Bandit's turn oh dear God we didn't take out any of them okay this one's going to attack you failboat FTD stay safe I body blocked the attack okay good good good oh oh we're there there hold on my armor is 13 pushes up y that misses okay this one's going to attack you point Crow okay I got I got an armor of 15 meets it beats it I take it oh you're fine hey my shield is made of stale bread the the hardest substance of them all the Panera Paladin that's yeah that's what they called me in the old ages oh yeah your I forgot your demon can go now Doug my demon starts pulling failboat's hair like Ratatouille to give him advantage on his next attack oh yes yes oh that's such a good idea excellent excellent I take out my trusty knife from my pocket and stab the Assassin one second let special effects department is working overtime I hold it up to my back and let FDD lick it for good luck and as he does so as he does so I stab it into the chest of the Rogue assassin Rogue let's go we're gonna say the demon spit is poisonous and it will kill him oh oh my God he immediately starts doing a default dance have to render the go let's go oh my God how did you afford the CG budget for this this video has insane graphics no way I'm going to make money on this one point Crow you're up okay okay careful consideration I'm going to cast force field on the guy next to the fire okay with the fire in the force field with the intention of taking away all of his oxygen so he suffocates in a brutal and horrible death oh oh jeez but for fun though like for fun for for for bread of course yeah for and and for bread uh this is going to kill him yeah yeah let's go let's go that will use up how much is the yeah Force just four that's hey no I'm sure there's no other huge enemies we have to save our energy for later no this is actually the hardest encounter so you're good Doug you're up I lean close to the Bandit next to me and I say do you want a cuddle I like to be little spoon and I Jam the spoon back in his mouth okay never implied that you removed it I just sort of I just kind of jiggle it around in his mouth a bit 14 Bandit is going to die yeah what a terrible way to die that's far worse than being suffocated in the fire field El stabo uh and the Bandit are going to attack you point Crow oh easy you know my shield of stale bread has blocked worse wait that's their attack right yes oh we're so fine oh we're so fine we're so fine we're so fine we're so fine we get there both their attacks were Miss that'll teach you to mess with the paner Paladin seeing FDD lying helplessly on the ground after fortnite dancing I'm going to pick him back up onto my back before firing a nice Arrow truly through the air at at the assassin on on the far left okay so just through the air just through the air but like like in a correct manner like it's like correctly truthfully yeah with factual evidence yeah and 16 that's going to kill him we get there okay this guy he's going to try and start running away Point Crow you're up I have like no Mana left but what I can do here is do an alleyoop for Doug I want to jump on this man and Tackle him to the ground Whispering sweet grains into his ear why are we being so sensual with these guys it's just in my it's my character so you know uh you know I just want to I just want to be like yeah barley oats rice and wheat okay let's see if you're able to tackle him this knife will hit you in soon you'll be defeat nope ah close enough okay Doug you're up now that he's on the ground and he's weak you know the fortnite default dance how he swings his arms out and claps like that yeah I run over I do the fortnite default dance and clap his skull in between my hands oh he's cooking come on get that get there that's got to get there that's got to get there 13 that he is he is restrained so he dies let's go let's go Victory Royale I kick over one of the tents which wait which tent do you kick over uh the next the one next to me okay okay I'm going I'm going to immediately run over and put it in my mouth I run and try to get it first uh wait no no I have my familiar run and try to lick it like subtly before Point Pro notices that it's being licked oh he he's closer he definitely gets it okay he licks it no but then he just he puts it back down on the ground okay he's got poison saliva right yeah all right and then and then I just look at Point cry say you still going to eat that I I look at him drool running down my face and saying anything anything for the gold coins and I will take it I'll run and shove it to the back of my mullers okay let's see if you get poisoned or not this it's worth it this is worth it would you rather you roll to resist it or roll to see how damaging the poison is resist it I'm built different okay wait he has like four Health with the damage like 20 if it rolls wait wait is that my rle probably like he's resisting it yes resisting it which is not good resisting you're going to lose another Health oh but do you get do you get the gold oh yeah he gets the gold yeah good we're good we're good yeah oh yeah you guys are open now I say we keep on going to the right like up to the right and see how far this baby goes yeah I'm in off to the right we go okay fortnite default dance kicks you on the hips and [Music] say Gallop to the right and then he says the horse lines from Red Dead Redemption like easy girl okay my lover do do you know this do you know this man yes Raphael this has nothing to do with your backstory for context Raphael my long lost lover just for the recording filbo put a like full like three-page like story backstory of him being a centaur this a centaur Who Wants To Be A Horse so this could be interesting cuz that's a full-on horse right there that is a horse I walk up to the horse to Raphael Let's Make a Deal what kind of deal would you like to make I look longingly into his eyes give me your soul and what would you give to me in return I feel like you're interpreting the take your soul thing in more of like marital status thing I don't want this fleshy human half I want to be a full horse Raphael as the Part B warlock I am playing romantic music in the background I will give you my soul I will give you my heart if you can take this final curse from me you know what filbo if you get a 17 or above on this role I'll let you be a full on horse come on baby come on baby come on baby no go for 19 go for 19 come no no love doesn't win okay I I turned to failboat my longest companion and I say if you can't become a horse then you should at least own one and I cast enslave creature on the Unicorn okay oh the move the move uh and slit that's going to take another oh I got plenty don't worry about that I have minimal moral Quant trees with owning a horse as a centaur yeah is there like an ethical dilemma there or like ah it's funny okay enslaved Creature if this gets above a 10 it'll be enslaved I going to look into his eyes distracted him oh stay on 12 stay on 12 stay on 12 stay on 12 oh uh Aros storm who who who who who who who Before You cast Aros storm Before You cast Arrow storm I want to present another sort of solution to this problem all right I have force field I can surround this horse with force field and possibly take him with us anyways how deep is the river can we just walk across are you going to try and walk you a check uh I think pointcrow and I should hop on failboat's back and we cross the River on the Centaur I'm just failboat do you want the the horse or do you want to do you want to let him be oh I want him I don't think he wants me oh okay I walk away okay I'm going to my hop on uh hop on failboat's back with Doug and I say don't worry guys it's ankle deep I walk forward we're just going to get all that together what a beautiful group shot oh look at that that's just gorgeous okay as you go in the water you realize that this water is in fact not ankle deep there is some way of knowing that oh God what can we do uh see yeah now you're all going to have to see if you can swim across uh we'll go with you first uh pointcrow oh easy yeah just get above a 10 on this yeah you know I oh yeah there oh yeah I want to say right with my shield made of stale bread it's known for its flotation capabilities and I make my way across float a whole grown man all right you up next failboat all right all right wait do you have disadvantage cuz you're carrying my familiar no they also have legs uhoh uhoh okay you're going to be swept down river fail Downstream oh no oh the river is being SW Downstream okay okay I'm on a different scene all right now up for you Doug I use my spoon to paddle furiously paddle the water hey nice wow that is furious I remark as as he comes across the river towards me I'll keep FTD safe Doug Doug we need to save our companion he's heartbroken and lost I think as long as you have some money he'll be fine and I flip a gold coin into the river I I jump into the river immediately to chase the gold coin and stuff into my mouth don't eat the coin because you're going Downstream let's say you're going to have to get a above a 13 to get the gold coin and not go Downstream oh my flotation device it totally makes this easy bread always wins you once again okay you're able to get the gold coin and get out that's going to be one gold from Doug to uh Point Crow as long as filo has a gold he'll be fine I stuff it into my mouth with the other two gold coins I go I go right before you go right I'd like to grab the gold coin up there I see another shiny object to the north and I really just want to stuff into my mouth real fast you will get it in your mouth then and in my mouth it goes Doug let's to the right oh my God okay wait okay so while you guys are doing this we'll see where uh failboat ends up where am I going okay so let's see if you can get out of the water hold on [Laughter] FTD I love how passionate you are about saving my familiar when we abandoned you I'll I'll keep you safe I see a coin down south I pick it up I stuff it into fdd's mouth okay I'm just going to store fdd's gold this Doug's gold FDD though feels betrayed by the fact that I left and so he whispers into the ear maybe we should leave we could be on our own adventure but our friends can we really leave them behind yes you're right I go to the right okay the party has now been officially split you thought so hard about it give me your money no I I I have no money I'm I'm I'm poor keep your mouth closed keep keep that keep that thing shut yeah and you you can see fdd's cheeks like bulging from the coin I'll kill you but there's no money to wait Bandit perhaps we can work together I see a coin behind that rock down south while he's distracted I shoot him in the skull Jesus Christ is there like any moral invocation about murdering here he tried to Rob him it's okay 17 yep he's dead beautiful and also you get that gold coin too yeah I walk over and grab that coin after does the floss over his dead body all the floss wow he was flossing right there I head south okay you're you're going to go down south and then we'll get to Doug Doug and pointcrow Doug it seems that there are some oh wait you want to you want to uh no what you see is what you get on this one Doug it seems that there is a lot of men to our west east south north direction from us question can I still use the Hat power uh yeah you control your familiar okay wait here my companion I'll take care of this I start charging at the group I go as far as I can in this turn I want to try to get all the way to them I and I turn back and I say stay back I can I can resolve this without conflict okay I trust you Doug with my entire life and the bread that be may you rise like the yeast in the bakery in the sky okay it's going to be these guys' turn the failings formation all right that's their turn uh Doug you're up again okay I cast teleport and teleport myself next to the gold coin okay oh let's see uh teleport that six it's going to be yeah 16 left you're looking a little underaged over there Doug uh as a spry 16-year-old I have the extra energy to do a bonus action to pick up the gold coin and then my familiar uses the hat to swap me in point Crow dog I'll kill you and then I start running South okay I love Google Slides Point Crow you're up I think um I think the only action I can make here is I'm going to pray to my God to the bakery in the sky okay so yeah way praying with your God works if you get a 20 uh something happens otherwise no I've never wanted 20 more in my life you got this I sh an 18 like a 20 with advantage and plus also two because of my gold coins that I definitely redeem for a Ru okay we'll say you can spend two gold coins to make it a 20 oh let's go I knew keeping these in my mouth would would make them ripe make them right okay you're going to have some divine intervention now the bot the yellow bigot the bagette in the sky I knew okay and that's going to rain down upon all of them I shout out awkwardly uh the plan worked perfectly great job thanks Doug I knew you'd never do me wrong that's that's why they call me the banera Paladin oh yeah Doug you're back up um I run south okay I'll kill you let's see Point Crow it's your turn now I run towards Doug yelling at him to come back here all right as you run away from this guy he's going to get an attack of opportunity on you oh no oh no oh we get there not even close the plan's coming together I shout up great job just keep doing your part I I uh I shout oh my best friend pointcrow I see you made it out let's reunite with failboat and FDD my best friend Doug do you know where failboat is um I cast in slave creature on point cro what okay counter point you're mine oh 19 19 oh come on but he's pretty frazzled right he's probably susceptible uh we're goingon to say that you can use a gold coin to up your rule by one for cuz Point grow got to do it uh yeah I'll use my gold to bump it to 11 okay uh Point Crow you are now enslaved to Doug uh you must do as he says I say go back North and fight that guy running what a nice party we are okay we're going to put a pause on this for now oh my God I don't even know where I am oh wizard do what you come to this Who Art Thou You're More Than in your your job what's your name are you hitting on him Mr Wizard is there a Mrs wizard no would you like there to be another Mr Wizard oh I can show you some magic would you like to oh my God romance all the horses okay he's going to cast a magical spell now like a magical romance spell well potentially we'll see what it does a romantic I can there fire works in the air huh he is going to cast Fireball at me yes oh let's see how well it goes it's going to miss I can see that you have a passionate love hold out my hand openly into the air and then the grass from below grows into a bouquet rising up to fit my hand perfectly before I hold it up to him all right so I'm assuming that you just cast uh Gro grow nature yes correct oh wait I need to uh I used enslave creature I should be down to 12 oh yeah you did it was me I was the creature okay with your bouquet of flowers he sees it and he's going to gas another spell with his wand is one of the Spells make out uh I don't believe that's one of them swap a you know we call that a swapper of saliva he's going to swap uh Doug dug and point Crow go failboat you're up I can see your magic is betraying you but there's one thing that will not betray you I get a little bit closer and that would be me and I give him the bouquet I extend my human hand he's going to cast the hor SW what give me one more spell one more piece of magic teleport Target to another room okay oh wait FTD yeah we'll come back to that in a minute oh we're reunited the plan's working perfectly everything I planned is coming to FR not entirely sure whose turn it is but we're just going to say it's Point Crow's turn now and they say that the worst they can say is no so from his perspective he's enslaved by me but he's been teleported around randomly do you have any idea what's going on incredibly frazzled I'm just wondering what the hell's going on I have no idea what's happened he still been told to attack the person up north that's true that's true I'm going to head up north and look at that I knew our paths would reunite against all of our will the plan is working perfectly where did FDD go a hot Centaur took him Doug Doug your turn I point it Point Cron when I say do the gritty I start grying wait can I roll for how well I do the gritty I need to know if it's a low roll it should be like ninja doing it at New Year's Eve Nobody Does [Music] it damn it that's going to take a point of damage right there yeah that's that's too embarrassing I'm just like hey guys I'm I am not seeing enough poing here how's that uh how's that wizard guy up there looking does he have a like a hot air balloon tied to his back that's a magical staff thank you oh oh my god oh he's going to cast Fireball on eeny meeny miny mo Point Crow really please mouthful of coins mouthful of coins and full of Mt and dirt six it will not do anything failboat you're up is this wizard a friend or a foe I will he just cast Fireball on point Crow well I that that really doesn't determine much consider I'm going to shoot the the warrior approaching with his back turned I would assume he's not walking backwards at you look man this guy's been flipping every single one of these characters accurately so far he's defenseless right now he has like no AC yeah I think he should have Advantage cu the guy is looking at the wall yeah it's going to kill him nice good job good job Point Crow you're up can I ride failboat into battle you can if you so desire I'm going to step on a failboat and say I'm no FDD but together we can stab my baguette of light into the heart of this wizard can I make my uh can my sword be a baguette you want me to draw that real quick I mean if you want if if you can you know I just you know oh my God that's amazing wait what the hell so cool okay you now have a bagette sword failboat would you like to ride into battle and I want to stick my bagette straight into his heart with coins full of mouth wait noting noting that my sword is coin into my mouth noting that my sword has been freshly toasted by his Fireball that is going to kill him let's go nice job I hit the [Laughter] gritty I see the gritty that he does and I retain PTSD I wink at pointcrow and I say guess you better trust my plans in the future huh Paladin you know what I've never doubted you in my life and I never intend to starting now well you you don't have the option to cuz you are still enslaved yeah I say I forbid you from questioning my plans again I Love My Free Will i b down to pick up the staff okay the staff can be used at any time to spawn a random enemy it spawns one do I know if it's it's under my control nope it is just there okay cool I say come on guys let's go rescue FDD and I run south and we go down more okay no FDD no D is he is he dead yes he's dead I rushed forward to grab his reboot card okay the wizard is going to attack you as you run up okay by growing Doug you're going to grow 50% in size oh I grow okay how does this help I it's random ones fair enough okay yeah you get his uh reboot card okay I immediately cast demon familiar to bring FDD back from the dead I was going to put you at seven seven years life the toddler I'm so young but I'm I'm like a huge baby now yeah I start making a sand castle okay [Laughter] yeah I am fully too immature to follow what's going on now I'm just working in the sand castle uh failboat you're up now I'm sorry my love there's some things in this world I can't forgive I pull back my bow and I shoot him through the heart with a true shot true shot will always hit and that will take out three of his Hearts you have one last chance please turn over a new Leaf Point Crow you're up I bask in the beautiful Glory that is failboat's love I cannot harm the one you love the one you care for you've met him 5 minutes ago God that's irrelevant wait hold on PO cro didn't meet him 5 minutes ago he was enslaved love at first sight I've heard we've heard a lot about this in the past 5 minutes all right and and failboat I know the Centaur is on his deathbed but I refuse to oh there's a gold coin and I run straight towards the north to put the gold coin in my mouth okay I think that brings it back over to the then he's going to attack uh you failboat let it all out it's okay uhoh oh no maybe that means spawn a random oh Ally for us right oh now he's stolen my whole flow Doug Doug it's your turn FDD runs over to the Centaur and jumps to try to tackle the goblin off minion fight 13 that's enough to kill him nice oh clean can he in the same turn jump onto the centaur's back yeah why not failboat is now your turn I see how it is if you want magic I'll give you magic your sand castle is looking great right now okay nice nice and I summon in an enemy above the head of the human section of the wizard okay you summon an enemy uh this will determine how strong the enemy is okay hopefully it's like a rock Golem yeah I'm I'm hoping they reach like terminal velocity 20 ft is not that high 20 ft it like we live in like a 2d world so it's like going to hit PR hard he falls down uh and he lands on the man we'll see how much damage that does ah close enough we'll say they both die yeah fortnite default dance hits the gritty I walk up and I pick up his staff I pick up his last remaining heart is that is like physical heart I run to the gold coin I face plant into the ground uh eating grass and mud hole in order to capture not only the gold coin but everything around it as well yeah I forgot how young Doug was wait I thought I was six I'm still I'm seven yep you are seven oh we got tons of time all right we're good yeah now you have his wand which you can use to cast a random spell oh FDD welcome back FDD he nuzzles back into his position there was like you know when you st on a couch for a long period of time and it kind of like shapes to your ass like you have an FDD indent in your in your horseback oh I want to note to Doug how beautiful is sandast looks I'm proud of you Doug I I thank him and I enslave him to keep working on the sand castle while we go south is he still a baby or rather is he still massive yeah what I want to say is like hey hey Doug thanks for be letting me in charge of the sand castle it's the yeast I can do do I have like a boo spell don't wor I'm taking care of it all right I relent and I say all right Point Crow come on let's go south it's cool that enslave character means I just get Point Crow's character for the rest of the game how about this we'll see if Point Crow Can Break Free with it with every role uh you have to get above a 10 point grow but can it be a disadvantage cuz he kind of likes being dominated yeah wait wait what is this true Point Crow oh oh yeah yeah we still got it oh you guys come across this an angel and a dragon fighting I mean you guys want to take take point on this one I just had a whole moral Quan I'm kind of emotionally damaged right now oh I have absolutely no free will um I settled down for a nap it's pretty late for me now okay Angel and dragon are going to fight it out like being under control of you know by by Doug I I want to help him go to sleep by singing him some toast Malone that you know God it's something that we we teach you know in the Council of the Wizards of toast you're playing with your last Health right now dude well oh I'm wait am I rolling for how well I sing this like no this is between the dragon and the Angel but I it is clear that your God hates bad puns so you are risking it every time the dragon is going to be victorious in this one let's go Dragon okay the dragon's going to attack Doug what is a dragon except for a centaur with wings lizard Centre with wings and Lizard Head yeah dude these dragons suck I easily Dodge the attack by going prone okay the dragon's going to go to sleep then uh FDD walks over to him nuzzles up under his wing and also settles in for a nap I'm gonna walk over there as well and I'm gonna give him a little Pat on his stomach not FDD the dragon okay uh all right we'll say the dragon is your friend now yeah let go FDD gets on his back and starts riding him oh hey failboat how does hey are you okay man if if he experiments with another and he still comes back to me that's how I know it's true if you really love him you got to let him go butter luck next time hey and then I go over to Doug I'm so sorry I say hey ride Zen shine my my my my brethen can we take his last heart yeah that's I think he has to roll to survive that one I'm down to roll for that one oh no no roll you know yeah well you roll you have to roll to get it back though what's the DC above a 10 oh get there get there [Applause] okayo smited by the bread God smited by the bread God they they used to call me the Panera Paladin but now they'll refer to me as Casper the Friendly Toast oh my god oh oh dear God God it's so Jesus Christ oh my God okay I groan at that pun but then begrudgingly pull out my healing potion and I drink it myself okay we'll see how much that heals you Doug you with your four full hearted well maybe I can get bonus HP oh what a roll God I'm good at this Good Work Doug uh we'll say that puts a few more years on you oh fantastic I go down I slowly put po Crow onto my back and dump him in the lava to the left can I can take him back out n there's a coin behind him get the coin oh my God it was on every screen there was a coin on every screen my gold coins go with me they were in my mouth right yeah I mean they're on your dead corpse now oh right right burning burning in lava yeah I get you I get you uh but yeah we'll say you're get to be the dragon now okay beautiful I cast enslave creature on the dragon all right enslave creature come on let's go oh my God Point Crow you are now enslaved to Doug once again I I jump on to point Crow's back and summon failboat to join too and say let's get out of here I jump on the back of the Dragon hell yeah Brethren let's go on our way oh but FDD is on failboat's back okay can't believe the real enemy of this campaign was his the bread God okay I look up into the sky and I shout up into the heavens bread God you took Point Crow from us and now we'll take you down and I tell pointcrow to fly us into the heavens to attack the bread God I I fly into the heavens attack the bread God luckily he's had the slide prepared the whole time he previously definitely knew about the whole bread situation oh the bread God we found him hell yeah Brethren let's go get his ass I shout out how dare you evil breed God taking pointcrow away from us wait where do you get off I'm sorry wait what's up dragon hey hey Dragon we're in a kind of serious moment here this is a pivotal platform s red God you've taken away our longtime friend I've known this man for 2 minutes and you shall Ru the day that you've taken him from us and I've turned a failboat I'm like damn Dragon cares more about pointcrow than we do yeah that's actually that's crazy all right fair enough I walk up to bread God and say bread God one chance before we engage in brutal combat join us join our party I have n years left in life bread God we could spend it together oh God he smes himself for one damage okay failboat it's going to be your turn up first I've raised up the wand of my dead lover and cast a spell it's a bit of an exaggeration but all right kind seem a little one way there ideally don't grow him 50% yeah yeah no that's okay I'll do what what my lover cannot and hit with Fireball you're going to cast Fireball what we got baby what we got baby what we got Baby W absolutely massive wow that's going to miss this one sucks uh I I I look towards a failboat and I say a fireball like that let me show you how it's done and I cast Fireball will this be the first Fireball that is hit in this entire campaign we shall see well it's all he's it's all he can do so uh oh okay the dragon 18 [Music] oh that's just the sound of my Fireball okay yeah I just want I wanted to sfx that you know you're welcome uh Doug it's your turn I look to the bread God and I say making bread puns yourself being that hypocritical only somebody with a dark icy heart could have such Behavior you don't deserve to have such a heart and I cast teleport and teleport my entire body into his heart oh oh my God bursting into his internal organs and erupting from the inside we got see if as a two-year-old three that's a three-year-old excuse me no no do I get like half in there I like his gallbladder ah you're going to miss a little bit oh damn it but you will Land by the gold coin no I pick it up and I shout back to the other guys we got the loot let's fail the plane is working the plan just keeps working for no reason in particular he just seems to hate this Dragon right now for absolutely no other reason oh that one's going to miss he's going to cast another one at failboat oh damn wait what he is the god of bread oh oh he doesn't really you know uh okay failboat you're up understood I take my arrow I shoot it right towards his heart hoping to burst it open where Doug could not my God this is the least climactic battle we're just like shooting fire out into the sky picking up coins just dropping one liners nothing's hitting it's Doug's turn now um to the dungeon master what happens if I use a spell that costs more than the amount of life I have left you die I say FDD you're always the best of us you live on live on in my name I hate you dude carry on for me do the gritty I'll be looking down and flossing at you from heaven but I'm not even listening because I jump and latch on the bread go and then cast black hole on my shelf no dog dog no this misses what happens if his Miss I just die 12 12 that's got to work right years left 17 that's going to kill Doug Doug and the bread god let's go and as as I'm warping away into the black hole FDD hears me say hit the [Music] [Music] gritt he speaks Master is Dead Master is dead ho was not a typo F okay okay I carefully bend down and put FTD on my back wait wait wait just just just uh just just fills oh my bad this the other one wait no no no no no no this is no this makes the dragon now gets on failboat's back this looks more suggestive than I would have liked let's go find you a centaur and you fly off looks like you're in need of another video to watch but don't worry I got you click this one with your nose

Channel: Magic The Noah

Views: 2,984,473

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Id: 9PNrA4-D-Xs

Length: 46min 21sec (2781 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 24 2024