Paul Lynde & Hollywood Squares: BEST-1-LINERS Part 2

the one and only pol in the one and only mr. only true or false some airlines now give you a thorough frisking before permitting you to board the plane that's the only reason I fly Gene Kelly said recently I'll be pleased if it comes back it's really a form of courtship what was he referring to his hair according to Reverend Billy Graham there is a price to be paid for every miracle and blessing we receive and the minimum requirement is what five ten dollars they used cows horns to make ice cream you mean those weren't chocolate chips true or false everyday about 10 million American women take the pill and I can name them all true or false research indicates that Christopher Columbus liked to wear bloomers and long stockings it's not easy to sign a crew up for six months Dear Abby says you should never do in bed a point and laughs say Paul what would you normally find a camper mounted on I can't press a woman is that a singles bar talking to a man and he begins tugging at his sock what does that mean he wants to have socks with her [Laughter] zero way to make an elephant jump yes you'll need earplugs and a pair of bricks can't the puppies and a litter come from different daddies by that bitch according to the food editor of the Dallas Morning News what's the best reason for pounding needs along leanness the Pope's car ever needed to be recalled for mechanical defects oh yes and while it was there he asked him to put on a sunroof for his hat but a few days after birth your baby becomes quite yellow according to the book nine months reading should you be concerned if your baby becomes quite yellow no just change his diaper how did little Amy take it when she learned she wasn't going to live in the White House anymore little Amy how did she take it either screaming and crying went on for hours until Amy said knock it off daddy according to studies Paul will being breastfed breastfed make you smarter well I missed three questions last week so I'm willing to try him what's the famous Spanish word Paul means silly foolish stupid dumb and fool senior according to research who are the loneliest the loneliest people around chrysler dealers yeah sure false Paul our son is losing weight at the rate of about four million tons a second I told you a hundred times [Music] all right is there any birds that can mate in flight I'll add it at the start of my watch according to UPI America's young couples are moving toward the decision to quit after two - what two times [Applause] yeah if there's any movement that I would be for which I think's causing all our miseries today as is over to many people and to children's I agree more and more young couples are restricting the size of their family Tarzan was one of our earliest swingers did he ever actually marry Jane well if he didn't you know what that makes boy a free soul yes that's right free soul a nationwide survey of personnel directors was recently taken and they were asked if they would hire a girl who showed up for an interview in a see-through blouse what did most of them say bring our hands according to dr. Ferguson at what age does a child usually begin to understand the meaning of a spanking the real meaning true or false many of our highways and railroads were built directly directly on the trails left by the Bison so that's why the roads are so bumpy as a court ever awarded a woman half a million dollars because her husband was no longer able to keep her romantically satisfied all the jury had to see was Exhibit A [Applause] true or false there are no cemeteries in Miami v now they just seal up the door of your condo many and if you're rich they'll leave a maid in there with Paul at what famous place in America will you find couples strolling arm and arm along flirtation walk and smooching at a place called kissing rock Leavenworth [Applause] on television what does the bionic woman do for a living she keeps Lee Majors from getting rusty [Applause] at a horse race can you tell one jockey from another just by looking at his pants only if he's carrying extra weight was snow white a blonde or a brunette Snow White was she a blonde or a brunette only Walt Disney knew for sure brunette Pope Paul the sixth recently stated that if women take it too far it can pose a threat to their spiritual and moral integrity take what to far a bus with reclining seats Bing Crosby the old Bing dough recently found himself stranded in the basement an old hotel in La Paz Mexico he was trying to avoid something what Bing Crosby paying Duty on his hair and giving advice to an aspiring female newscaster Barbara Walters recently said work as hard as you can do what they tell you and don't get in my way [Laughter] the very first of the ten commandments says that you should not have what the hops according to new dawn magazine is it uncommon for women to talk to themselves while romancing I don't even have a bluff [Laughter] [Applause] well do we know of anyone who ate over 1200 baked beans in a half hour that may explain what happened to Amelia Earhart in the Bible King David asked beautiful and wise Abigail to do something after her first husband died what get him out of the room there will be a film out in the future Paul called the greatest the greatest who is it about merle oberon or King Kong when asked to explain something Albert Einstein said be with a nice girl for two hours and it seems like a minute sit on a hot stove for a minute and it seems like two hours what was he trying to explain why he bought a tuba volunteen for his secretary [Applause] according to the book what every patient wants to know are there exercises you can do to prevent your bosoms from sagging exercises yes but it requires pierced ears and ends in the kite string Paul originally Mac Mac before your name meant son of sunup what did Oh before your name mean is that or false it only takes a good chicken plucking machine 14 seconds to strip a chicken bare I used to do that ah yes yes yeah I can't you can I agree that is true yup yeah got the next day your date has had a great shock and then fainted according to experts you should loosen her clothing and then do one other thing what send a postcard requesting an ambulance the sex of a child the father or the mother I say let the child make up [Applause] according to the classical song it was there I knew that you loved me true where is it okay to point did any Shakespearean character use the expression right on I'd say was near the love scene near the end of the love speaking so you say you say yes I think she said right on Rome reportedly the marriage contract between Aristotle Onassis and Jackie Kennedy stated that if Jackie did something within five years after they were married Ari would give her 18 million dollars if Jackie did what if she made all-pro with some Pittsburgh Steelers let's hear what you would say [Applause] can a rock an ordinary rock can a rock be female can't after 30 years of marriage [Applause] what well-known space-age word comes from the Latin for little Chet according to the author of Aesop's fables what is a greater blessing in life than having many children I'll say having many sport shirts Nancy Sinatra says that her year-and-a-half old daughter Angela is already doing something that grandpa Frank Sinatra is famous for what Oh she threw a diaper at a reporter [Music] or false during the recent holidays rosemarie our own Rosemarie entertained on a cruise ship not according to the reviews anyway she found the church [Applause] or I should have said tramp steamer [Applause] in the original classic movie Frankenstein dr. Frankenstein was supposed to do something very important today the monster killed him what was he supposed to do I think a tonsillectomy vertical lift suspension and trusts are all kinds kinds of what shorts according to Dear Abby how does a respectable man keep from falling in love with his neighbor's wife by looking at his neighbor's gun collection according to experts something strange happens when a person who stutters starts to whisper what he's twice as hard to understand your rooster has been fixed so that he no longer has romantic interest in hands what is the proper word for him now suicidal well you're going around with a girl who wants to know all about your past romantic experiences according to Playboy should you tell her about them I don't think I'll tell her about the Indian guide [Music] or the cells now undressing well fall fall there is a company that will rent you a nude bartender for your party sat him up jump or fall Zsa Zsa Gabor is a deputy sheriff in Chicago not a pity she couldn't make it in show business liberati he has a new book out Liberace has called the things I put in my hair [Music] what movie Paul what movie ends with a young girl walking up and waking up in bed rather the young girl waking up in bed only to find her aunt and uncle three farmhands and a travelling showman with her sounds like I am Margaret screen-test according to the song the bear went over the mountain to see what he could see what did he see it's awful Ranger Bob was dressed up like John Boehner [Applause] what Paul is the lightest class in boxing Caucasian [Music] no replies wait wait you know I think I've had this question before and I'm good I'm gonna goof again let's say it's either featherweight or flyweight I'll say flyweight flyweight I agree that's right true or false in China a goose is symbolic of faithfulness if that's what Chairman Mao told Susan Ford the man who wrote the book the joy of sex is now writing a book on the joy of old age gap he burned himself out at 42 the LA Times said that the US may soon share a secret with Japan what's the secret about location in the Pacific Fleet is Billy Graham considered to be a good dresser no but he's a terrific end table [Laughter] [Applause] Twiggy reportedly added an inch to her bustline while making the boyfriend now it's a deli that is a motion-picture and what does that make her bust measurement now why according to Shaw Zsa Gabor she is waiting for a real man and meanwhile I love something fake what yeah I know it I was already with my answer that I realized you were here I know that she's gotten rid of all of her furs because of her new love for Hannah not new love but her love for animals I'll say fake fur third I'll disagree it's Jules she wears only fake jewelry there's a famous old old saying Iran which says that a good one is worth more than money a good what then how come they charge you for it true or false according to the Bible you you Paul in you are a sinner as long as they spelled my name right a history tells us that Paul Revere only had 35 cents in his pocket when he made the famous ride what was he planning to use it for along those days uh Milky Way and a woman [Laughter] according to experts of the Indianapolis Star it's a good idea rather a good idea for mailman who are often bothered by dogs is to keep something with them while they do their job keep what with them cocker spaniel and heat ball modern science can't really explain why but if you go outside at night stand on your head and stare at the full moon you will notice something unusual what that's in just 8 seconds rain will fill up your nose true or false if you turn on a certain television station in Manhattan a woman will walk up and put her lips on the screen and you can kiss her I like Barbara Walters better when she does interviews is there any case on record of a woman being pregnant 13 months and when the doctor slapped the baby the baby slapped the doctor right back according to the San Francisco Chronicle do ostriches really stick their heads in the sand only when dropped from a plane [Applause] true or false a woman in Idaho has filed a big lawsuit because she was stuck in a restroom stall and couldn't get out that's false imprisonment she had to slip her complaint under the door President George Washington once said quote I would rather be in my grave than in what grants tomb when is it a good idea to put your pantyhose in the microwave oven for about two minutes house is surrounded by the police but

Channel: will k

Views: 1,150,319

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Id: me_XVm5lXso

Length: 23min 8sec (1388 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 01 2018