r/LegalAdvice - POSTAL SERVICE STALKER TRACKS ME DOWN!

g'day there guys it's your Z hubby marque back at it again with another on slash legal advice video now if you love me as much as I love you than you know what to do I want you to mosey on over to the old like button and tackle it like Crocodile Dundee maybe even chuck nause flag down the comments now with that said I want you to sit back relax Chuck a prawn on the barbie and get ready for some bloody good legal advice now our first pose today is by user ups creeper titled main UPS guy messaged me on Instagram to ask me about my discretely packaged order is this legal who should I talk to alright sir I got a DM request three weeks ago that I only saw today it was from someone I don't know who lives in my area and works for UPS I googled his name it said his job title and where he lives he asked me if I ordered something from name of adult web sites I did in fact order something from the web sites but the package return address has a corporate name discreet packaging on it instead of the website name I don't remember the package being damaged but either way I'm not sure why this guy would ask me that and why the question would come from his personal Instagram account I'm a little more than creeped out by this and I want to know if this is just poor taste or if it's just illegal to ask personal questions about the deliveries if it is in fact illegal who do I talk to to report him hi form a UPS warehouse shift manager here while not illegal something like this is so incredibly against UPS policy it's not even funny report him they'll fire him so hard it'll make his head spin sends food says I'm not a lawyer but I have worked as a driver helper delivering for UPS this is definitely against company policy I would contact UPS corporate and filer complaints they should be able to see who delivered your package as well as who loaded your package onto the truck the day it was delivered unfortunately with the volume of packages handled we figure out pretty quickly which addresses or what companies even without a name the address is really just discrete in the sense that if someone else in your house sees it or shows up on your credit card statements they weren't automatically know but your mailman a UPS guy Vayner that absolutely does not make it okay for them to contact you about it they're okay for real how creepy is it that he just knows wonder how many times it's been before this wheeze like man I should really she really asked him about their adult sex toys that they've been ordering go that's just died that will get me laid yeah yeah he will most definitely be fired for this packages do break open and believe it or not sometimes you can't even tell that your package spilled open all over the floor a lot of these companies don't use the best tape and it just comes apart if it's a driver then maybe they won't be fired if it's one of the easily expendable hard workers then most definitely he'll probably get fired suspended at the very least anybody looking into packages or even making it seem like they're looking into packages further than just taping them back up is a big no-no yeah it's a normal workplace and boxes do break open people do look inside and you would do it too but going out of your way to contact that person is pretty screwed up if you are a female that is super creepy I know it's a double standard but it's just creepier for a woman because the chances are greater that a male would continue to pursue and cross the line dudes already crossed the line by contacting you and using his personal Instagram so many red flags here I would be freaking out if I was a girl and I don't blame you guys and now update UPS guy messaged me on instagram to ask me about my discretely package daughter is this illegal who should I talk to you first I want to thank everyone who took the time to comment on the original thread as well as the best of legal advice thread I've never had this much karma in my life and of course it's on a throwaway special thanks to the people who work in UPS and other delivery services for clarifying the logistics of what happens behind the scenes I did contact UPS and they responded quickly to put me in contact with the correct people at no point of any of the employees made any inappropriate comments about the order itself they've also made no excuse for the employees behavior and have been very apologetic they have told me this is not the behavior they promote and not the way they expect their employees to behave and that's all for the post guys that's um yeah it sounds like he's gonna get fired so Jesus next story I yes posted by user where my dog ant titled New York I'm being evicted for violating my apartments no dog policy I have no dog I've lived above my landlord on the top floor of illegal to family triplex for the past up to three years we share the bottom floor laundry bike storage small home gym and both live alone it's been a pretty ideal situation we get along really well and he's been an awesome landlord I'm also really cognizant about being a good tenant so it was a total surprise yesterday when I received an eviction notice labeled notice of termination along with a copy of my lease with the section forbidding pets flagged and highlighted it was sent via certified mail and says I have 30 days to vacate I thought he was messing with me at first like I said we're cool and I don't have any pets so I went downstairs to congratulate him on almost getting me he was not cool he was really pissed and began ranting about my dog and how its barking and running around has been keeping him up at night I tried to refute this and it only made him angrier he says he sees me walking the dog a Golden Retriever named Steve multiple times a day also he says we had conversations about the dog and that I've been rude and aggressive when he tells me it's a violation and worse I asked him to walk Steve when I would be coming home late from work and he has the text to prove it's which he already said he sent me when he warned me also via certified mail that I needed to get rid of Steve I seriously 100% swear I don't have a dog and I have no idea why my landlord suddenly thinks I do is this something I should or can fight do I need a lawyer how do I even prove that I don't have a dog Thanks documents that you are at work right now as you were getting this text it says you were outside his window walking two dogs take a picture of yourself at your desk or something and it's when I wrote this I was thinking in terms of future documentation to show you an eviction court that he's obviously incorrect but I suppose you could also use it now to try to prove to him that you're at work and not at home walking dogs it might set him off further though also I seconds the comment about the CEO detectives this totally sounds like it could be a CEO thing that's like carbon monoxide poisoning isn't it I had a co-worker take a picture of me with a few others including my boss in a conference room with my company's logo in the background and three laptops with the time and date clearly visible I figured if it was just mine I could be accused of changing the time zone or something but more than that especially with my boss there would be a weird amount of effort does that work oh I also took a screenshot of my GPS location when he texted me might also be able to use a time card to prove you're at work electronic or otherwise if you have an Apple or Android phone your location is tracked through their services and there are ways to retrieve that information at the very least this will show the location of your phone however in any reasonable courts the small army of testimonials from your co-workers is shortly enough not to mention any CCTV footage of you entering or inside your place of work get a lawyer though because you don't want to do this alone do you know any members of his family because this sounds like some kind of psychosis but you do not want to ignore the eviction notice I don't know if you were in New York City or somewhere else in the States but I'd be looking for a tenant helpline incidentally are you a month-to-month tenant because if so this is just a straightforward notice to terminate no matter how he's dressed it up and frankly you don't want to be living in the same house as someone this delusional I am in New York City not a month-to-month tenants actually just signed a new two-year lease in August and him in the middle of a approved and jointly funded bathroom renovation I do know his family actually but I don't know if I'm comfortable calling them what he's saying I'm being aggressive with him who knows what he's telling them also we're in the same house but I have my own separate entrance we only share one floor as a tenant in New York City you have a lot of rights he can't just slap a notice on your door and expect that you'll be out in 30 days here's the New York City government site and the legal assistance page if you guys want to go to that he said he sent to first notice saying I needed to get rid of Steve along with the texts from me asking to walk in which I never received followed by the notice of termination which I have received the notice of termination was sent to certified mail not slapped on my door unless you didn't mean that literally I'm gonna talk to a real lawyer probably tomorrow but from what google says it looks like between what he thinks he's done and what he's actually done it's pretty by-the-book which if he's going crazy is kind of impressive right so he's given you the 30 day termination notice after that's done he has to serve you go to courts win the case and get a warrant of eviction god that sounds overly complicated hold up you're in New York City like legit in the five boroughs there's absolutely no way your landlord can evict you without going to housing courts call 3-1-1 you're not going anywhere even if you didn't have a lease even if you weren't paying rent I know landlords who have spent years evicting tenants who hadn't paid rent didn't have a lease and damaged the property you're fine sorry about your crazy landlord though seriously get off rated and call 3-1-1 I really don't want to get him in trouble especially if he's going through some really bad crap right now and not just being a malicious jerk if I call 3-1-1 how bad is it going to be for my landlord if a person is in the midst of a serious psychosis which given this tale either you or here's because no way can you both of your stories be true then calling three one one and getting him if again that they validate that he is ill is the nice thing to do it is the humane thing to do as psychosis especially of this degree is a significant health issue endangering the person and if it's you who is psychotic winky face then maybe calling 3-1-1 may also get the ball rolling for you to get help as they would investigate and find either his or your tale to be true while some details of his story could be explained by a neighborhood look-alike with a dog now two dogs and the dog barking could be a home nearby with dogs the text conversations are impossible to be a misunderstanding in regards to psychosis it could be due to a long-standing mental illness a head injury a tumor something else or even carbon monoxide poisoning if it is carbon monoxide poisoning it could be affecting both you and him in the same building so by getting the ball rolling he really may save a life you've also mentioned a renovation which is again potentially even if unlikely to cause disturbance to a furnace or a hot-water heater or the connection of these or the venting of these and causing carbon monoxide poisoning and there is an edit at the bottom of the post here okay so he just texted me in all caps you got another one I asked him what he's talking about and he said that he's watching me walk two dogs right now and waving at him through the window it's 3 p.m. on a Tuesday and I'm at work not walking dogs I really hope this is a screwed up prank maybe would be kind of funny looking back but I think I'm gonna stay with a friend tonight edit - I really appreciate everyone's help slash supports and I'm trying to respond to all of your comments especially since I haven't left this post pretty much since I made it sorry if I'm missing any but what did you just say a blanket thanks because all of this calm and rational advice is keeping me from totally freaking out right now also my friend I'm staying with has a dog not named Steve maybe I'm just a Lear ES after the past day but I find it really funny edit 3 I need a break this got very very real much more than I honestly expected it seems obvious now that this is not very normal or ok but I guess I really didn't want to see that and instead focused on the eviction itself and the sort of amusing dog thing I'm not really thinking rationally anymore and I can't help myself my landlord until I clear my head a little I texted the contractor we're using for the Renault to make up an excuse and stop by to check on him just in case and then tomorrow I'm gonna take some action thanks again our slash legal advice both for the advice and letting me release my dumb stream-of-consciousness while this all sunk in I get stuck in my head a lot so I think I need this post to talk it out and now on to our updates my landlord thinks that I have a dog named Steve so first off I wasn't totally honest about my relationship with my landlord this was probably pretty obvious the more I commented but were actually really close friends like I spend holidays with his family so yeah that's how I knew he wasn't just freaking me over just to get more money anyway I met with a lawyer I liked him he basically said the same thing as everyone here New York City is really tenant friendly and if this makes it to courts unlikely you'll see why it won't be hard to find I don't think I'd want to fight there I probably have nothing to worry about but I would just peacefully move on if it does happen the rest of this update isn't very legal sorry if that's against the rules so I ended up calling three one one instead of Adult Protective Services since Google gave me a few different numbers I must have described the situation really badly because they transferred me to Animal Care and Control twice and then I was distracted by a firework that's not jargon we were evacuated because of a fire in another floor the story is they were making s'mores in a conference room this wasn't a call I wanted to make surrounded by all of my co-workers while we stood around outside sir I texted his sister instead and we made plans to talk later long story short she'd gotten some weird messages from him lately like him congratulating her on a promotion then getting angry when she had no idea what he was talking about once she heard about Steve and the eviction she made plans to fly out to us the next day this is getting long sorry sorry jumping a [ __ ] she told him some story and convinced him to fly back to California with her before he left he apologized for blowing up at me and said that we could talk about the dog when he got back and tried to work it out but it was crappy that I did it behind his back especially when it was against the lease and he couldn't rent to someone he couldn't trust I asked his sister about the eviction just in case and she said of course I wasn't evicted and to just hold down the fort anyway so he's at a place near his family being treated now I don't know what for and I don't really care as long as he's getting better that's his business until tell me if he wants to I just want him to be okay and it looks like he will be I dunno it's nothing environmental because I've had this whole place tested for everything also I've been staying there and I'm still fine haha his family is awesome and reaching out to me almost daily I haven't been able to talk to him since he left but hopefully soon I'm also going there for Thanksgiving sir I'll most likely even get to see him and when he's back we can maybe start looking for a new dog Steve thanks again for all the help not trying to sound dramatic but I'm not sure if I would have done the right thing if I hadn't posted here all right now into a more grim topic posted by user tri weigh 171 ate my mum committed suicide and now her landlord is threatening to sue me sorry for the grammatical mistakes I can't type very well now I'm in California hello as the title say my mum committed suicide about a week ago or so I've been busy with the funeral slash will slash life insurance thing and haven't been able to open my mail I did this today and her landlord send me an email three days after she died saying that he'll keep the deposits which I guess is fair because of the cleaning / painting / fixing the bullet hole but that he also wants to be reimbursed because the house value will go down after the suicide and that he and the other tenants my mom's roommates want financial support for emotional damages he ended the email giving me two weeks to call and negotiate if not then he'll take us to court I'm gonna be honest I don't know if I can get into a legal battle right now I'm barely functioning but the idea of calling and negotiating how much my mom death devalued the house made me throw up what should I do hey men some things I want to say to you first as a son whose mother killed herself I'm sorry it's been almost 10 years and it still hurts the pain doesn't get better so much as it gets less frequent but 10 years from now you'll be driving to work on a random Tuesday morning and you'll be blindsided by an overwhelming wave of emotion all you can do is breathe and give it time second as an attorney who also had to be the executor in such a situation I can tell you to do the following retain an estate lawyer tell the landlord to keep the deposits to go screw himself and to contact your lawyer from here on out also tell the roommate to screw off there's a slim to none chance that the estate might be liable for diminution in value of the property but let the landlord chase the estate third the proceeds of any insurance policies are not the property of the estate they are the property of the beneficiaries do not co-mingle the funds with the estate funds claim them and distribute them to beneficiaries immediately fourth as others have said you personally are not obligated to satisfy any claim on the estate finally apologies for the language but in this situation it's warranted and damn fine cut pot of coffee says am attorney and I second this just to add for any sort of emotional damages at least in my states you need to prove that one was seriously affected by the actions of the other we are talking therapy psychologist or something like that simply viewing an upsetting incident is not enough since anyone would be upset and sending this email just a few days later establishes this as a money grab frankly RP would have a better chance of suing the landlord for intentional infliction of emotional distress then the landlord would for their emotional damages and I'm not saying RP has a claim and to that big original comments that was golden Oh Pyrrha pliers thank you I'm sorry for your loss I think you're the only person who told me that it doesn't get better I needed this because it just feels worse if time made it feel less painful kinda like losing her again but I'm glad it's not as constant as right now I'm hiring a lawyer and letting them handle this mess Thanks and another person replaced the original poster first sorry for your loss dude is a crap bag for sending that email speak to a lawyer they can let you know how much of what he is demanding from you is actually legally valid personal opinion is the value of the house and emotional bs are both just that BS but a lawyer can confirm / set your mind at ease they can also help write a cease-and-desist if one is necessary if he takes you to small claims courts you won't need a lawyer but you will need to respond so you don't get a default judgment against you thank you what kind of lawyer should I look for a real estate one also how long does this kind of process take I'm not dealing very well with all of this and I'm not sure I can handle a long legal battle estate lawyer you can't be sued directly but her estate can which means less money for the beneficiaries he was still entitled to your fee as trustee if there are funds left and now update my mom committed suicide and now her landlord is threatening to sue me hello there first I would like to thank you guys from the bottom of my heart for all the messages comments and pms that you guys sent it truly made the process less painful and I'll be forever grateful for each one of you a special shout-out to rails blaze and for his comments I'm very sorry for your loss but what you said gave me at least a sense of peace thank you I'd also like to thank James McGill Esquire that comment gave some interesting perspective on what the future looks like I'm afraid I might have come across as cold or rude if so it was not on purpose I was just very nervous I'm sorry for not responding to all of you or not responding sooner I had to talk to my teachers and employers to figure out my schedule the comments telling me to get my mum's things out of the house made me super anxious and I couldn't think of anything else so I did something stupid and called the roommates sorry guys that's when it gets weird the lady was super nice and sir she told me I could go in my mom's things that night at least her books let his small things and I decided to approach the matter of the emotional support thing now I would be willing to help her or completely pay for the emotional support she may need as she was the one who found my mum and while they wide super close we're becoming fast friends I guess I felt more hurt that she decided to send a letter with my landlord I said I would be willing to pay but I thought it had to be separate from the landlord she didn't know what the hell I was talking about yeah I explained the email and she was furious so apparently the landlord lied about that I asked if she would be willing to talk to my lawyer and make it clear that she wasn't asking for financial supports and she agreed sir I'll guess we'll see I have an appointment with the lawyer on Monday and I'll bring this up to her all indole it seems like this isn't over but at least it seems like it will go on well I got my mum's things out of the house and the lady was kind enough to keep some of the sentimental things I couldn't take locked in her room once again thank you guys for all the advice if it weren't for all of them I'd probably have just called the landlord and tried to negotiate one last thing I'll leave the emergency numbers down there if it's allowed if not months please tell me and I'll edit it out if you're feeling suicidal like you want to hurt yourself depressed or emotionless please reach out I know it doesn't look like it but there are people willing to help my first post proves that anyone who was in crisis for any reason is encouraged to call the number for the national suicide prevention line is below all right um I'm just gonna leave that there for a sec I hope you guys enjoyed that story we've got one more to go all right and our next one posted by CSC throw away zero Michigan I was denied a restraining order because my abuser said I'm kinky and because of my sexual history so in October in the process of getting out of an abusive relationship I filed for a restraining order and filed a police reports and gave evidence such as text messages in which my abuser admitted to doing it I gave the same copy of the text to the police when I filed the police reports at the protective order hearing his defense was that it was consensual because I have a sexual history involving BDSM and that I was simply trying to punish him we did not have that kind of sexual relationship and hearing the judge asking him questions about my sexual history was extremely upsetting they were laughing and joking about how you'd think it would be the other way around and that I was a more experienced submissive than my ex was an experienced dominance I brought an eyewitness but the judge did not want to hear from my witness at all he said it sounded like a bad breakup and gave me a restraining order for a few weeks as a cooling-off period today I found out that the prosecutor is charging him I know that there is a higher burden of proof for criminal charges than there is for a restraining order so surely I should have been granted in actual restraining order rights I want to know if I have any recourse for how the judge acted during the restraining order hearing because it definitely put me in danger and don't worry that others will be put in danger to you I don't care about trying to get money I just really feel like this is not the series of events that should have occurred is there anything I can do also do I have to worry about my sexual history coming up in courts I'm really hoping the prosecutor won't allow it generally no that's character evidence that is not allowed and it appears mi has a something shield law no past sexual history of victim in criminal trials your title says you were denied but you got one for a few weeks so next step presumably is to ask for an extension also try talking to the prosecutor tell him you'd like a restraining order they might be able to secure one as a condition of bond no contact it's actually pretty much routine in any DV case and no contact order attached to the bond you can probably appeal the judge's ruling too but that might be time-consuming and involved might be good to talk to victim services to here's a link for the michigan victim services please do this I should have but I didn't thought I could handle it and I wrong the restraining order was for two years but contested so we had to go to court I was so upset and terrified to be sitting across from him and his attorney ended up being intimidated and could barely speak between them and the judge it felt like an old men's club and I was some silly girl they convinced me to agree to a year because it would help their person keep their professional license that year went by quick and it wasn't long enough please take any support offered this person still impacts my life but I have to wait until they're caught before I can request another protective order it's now here three I've moved to another town have a security system cameras carry a stun gun at all times and have my concealed carry permits bad break up my ass and dopey replies I'm working with both a victim advocate from a local nonprofits and also the victim advocate from the prosecutor's office the former is actually the one who helped me with the initial police reports and restraining order I'm really really sorry that you had to go through all of that alone good use all the resources available to you your safety is number one thank you for your kindness but no need to be sorry it was a learning experience and that timid chick became a call pixie warrior no matter how hard and ugly and sad and scary against never forget that you are enough and in regards that first comment we wrote outs sorry if this is a silly question but does that mean it should not have been allowed at the restraining order hearing or does it not apply there this was in October so it has expired or whatever the legal term is does that mean that it would be too late to try to get the extension I know with a restraining order you don't necessarily need a lawyer but would I need one for that part what would the easiest way would to be to talk to the prosecutor then sorry for all the questions I'm just kind of out of my depth that rule of evidence is for criminal matters I believe it probably doesn't apply to restraining orders although it might if it expired go file for a new ro evidence he's been charged with a crime against you you should make it a slam dunk might not even be the same judge probably will be you can also talk to the prosecutor if he was arrested it should be a bond condition if not the prosecutor may not be able to do anything I'm not sure on that and now our final post is the update to that first of all thanks everyone I was really scared to post because I thought people would judge me but you all were very kind thank you for all the legal advice sympathy and compassion and sorry for the original misleading title I sincerely thought that it was in effect denied since it was only for a few weeks but I was actually granted the restraining order today was the probable cause hearing I talked to the prosecutor and I told her my concerns about my ex bringing up my history with BDSM as a defense again since he did it at the PPR hearing the prosecutor was furious and said she would need to ask me about that and if she did she would just say did you engage in BDSM with him and I could just say no the prosecutor told me that if I didn't want to testify that she could offer him a plea bargain so he could walk away with just a domestic violence charge instead of having to register as a sex offender she asked if that would be okay with me and I agreed she pulled me aside a little later and said the defense didn't take it well you guys were right he had two public defenders and one of them was his students the one who was a student was the one questioning me she did bring it up and the prosecutor tried to object but the judge allowed it I ended up having to answer a lot of questions about the fact that I used to have kinky sex before my relationship with my ex that he knew that I had and that I know what a safe word is she actually hammered on this point for so long that the judge told her to move on and that she had established it because throughout the aquestion she would ask me about if we use a safe word she asked me a lot of questions about a time my ex and I had sex in public as well and then grilled me on the fact that I waited until the morning after I confronted my ex to tell anybody else what it happens she also asked me questions like if my ex and I ever had anal sex if he ever grabbed my wrists during sex I still can't figure out why his attorney asked me if we ever had anal sex honestly she then argued that there wasn't the intent required so there was no probable cause she said that since we had sex in public once that my ex thought that granted him permission to do sexual things with me at work because it was a public space she said he thought it was arcade because he and I both know what the safe words are so continuing after I told him to stop repeatedly didn't mean anything she said that we had a sexual relationship that involved sexual activity in and out of the bedroom and that involved pinning me and he was just acting accordingly the judge said that he knows what safe ones are but that as far as he is concerned know is just as good as safe word as anything else he said I made it very clear that I only wanted to have sex in the bedroom and that it didn't really matter that I had made an exception once and the people are allowed to make exceptions to things and say no later his exact words were if I give you five dollars on Tuesday that doesn't mean you can take five dollars on Wednesday actually at the end the judge said that there was definitely probable cause for my testimony but more so from his defense maybe I'm reading into it but the attorney looked pretty visibly shaken by this anyway I just really wanted to give an update in case people end up finding my other post who were in the same situation that I'm in honestly brace yourself to have to enter a lot of really invasive sexual questions I don't know if they always like this though but it was all just yes/no which made it easier thanks again everybody I think this will be my last updates unless anything happens at the trial related to my post that I could think could be helpful to other victims I'm hoping since the defense tactics went so poorly that they aren't going to try that again also I know about the changeover at best of legal advice and I don't know if it matters if I say this but I don't really care if you guys discuss this their neighbor threatening to sue over wheelchair ramp now my boyfriend his mobility issues and uses either a wheelchair or crutches depending on his pain levels I've done a lot of home improvement projects to ensure he can get around the house easily including a wheelchair ramp up to my front door my front door is really cest from the street Judah my lawn and hidden by my porch so the ramp isn't very visible from the street I painted it to match the house as well a few months ago a new family moved across the streets and the wife's never been very friendly with me like my other neighbors are which I chalked up to her being shy or whatever however recently I got a note taped to my door that said she is going to sue if I don't take the ramp down as it's an eyesore and reduces curb sight value I have no idea what she means since you can't see the thing unless you know what to look for and to really get up into my property as confirmed by my neighbors and friends she refused to answer the door when I went over to talk to her about it I'm trying not to lose my temper over this but it's hard there's been many times my boyfriend has been screwed over by so-called handicapped accessible places and I don't want my home to be one of them does she have any sort of case I'm in Washington so she's claiming that your ramp is causing the value of her house to decrease the ramp was up when she bought the house then surely any decrease to value was already taken into account when she had estimates and made an offer on the house that she bought if everything had permits it is up to code you have nothing to worry about anyways they say the ramp was up when she bought the house I installed it about a year ago I guess she could argue that she didn't see it but if she didn't see it for so long wouldn't anyone she'd sell to also not see it ah this is making me so mad Washington state real estate appraiser hear the argument that the view of the ramp would in any way affect the value of this person's home is laughable you would have to find other homes that sold that had similar views of ramps and proved that due to those views the value of each of those homes was affected just not possible the real issue here is that your neighbor is an [ __ ] for that I'm sorry the only issues you should worry about at the time and expense of getting this person off your back just want to clarify that in general no one has a right to high property values or any claim against a neighbor for using their property as they see fit so even if you did build it after she moved in she still wouldn't have a legitimate case here there is a small amount of gray area that is if you built something with the specific intent of harassing and harming her or if you're in an HOA but in this case feel free to tell her to pounce and if she does actually sue be sure to respond lawyer here not your lawyer not a Washington lawyer but she has no case these sound like the type of people who will come onto your property and fake an injury likely related to the ramp to establish grounds for a suit my advice would be to serve her and every other person living at that address with a trespass notice served by a sheriff he wanted drafted to encompass agents employees servants etc so that they cannot send someone to your property if they violate the notice and enter your property call the police have them arrested press charges spend a couple hundred on a lawyer and a few more bucks on sheriff service these are crazy people do not try to reason with them real estate agent here not Washington but this applies to all 50 states get a copy of the a DA laws it is explicitly stated that all accessibility improvements are exempt from any HOA or deed restrictions this right here will stop them in their tracks I'll second this comment but make sure the ramp is actually code compliant to correct gradients clearance zones edge protection materials colors any required signage handrails ballast trades etc this sounds a lot but there will be a pictograph in the building code for your state's clearly demonstrating what to the required standards are and last one by BA T / an MA she's got nothing she gets no say in how you maintain your property beyond her right to vote the city may have laws concerning structures and she can make a complaint with the city if she so chooses I doubt they have any legal restrictions on handicap ramps beyond ensuring that they are structurally sound I got my permits but I was worried that that didn't matter in a civil court or whatever it's a very structurally sound ramp just wanted to add she can sue she can see you if for your eye color if she wants if she does sue don't ignore it could opt can't to sue for distressing her she would have to get said distress documented but still the bar for emotional stress money it's extremely high this doesn't even remotely come close and now update neighbor threatened to sue over a wheelchair ramp so I put up a bunch of cameras around my property and hung up a smile you're on camera sign right after my first post I also lit up the ramps and more which I was already planning on doing because of trick-or-treaters I'm excited to say my neighbor's husband personally came over to apologize to me which I caught on camera he claimed his wife is stressed over their new baby which are okay and he promised not to bother us anymore I suspect one of the neighbors I talked to read him the riot act I accepted the apology but I'm keeping the number of a lawyer close by and the cameras are always rolling dislike being so paranoid but what can you do I'm not sure not sure you can do much Opie that's a really good way to go about it and our next post is my user throw away this is 987 titled sister's ex-boyfriend keeps playing ding-dong-ditch despite us having a ring doorbell and a restraining order cops can't find him when we call them I'll spare the details of the break-up but essentially my sister's ex has been bothering us for about a half a year now we're in California relevant events since the start of 2019 include one filing a restraining order and being granted a temporary restraining about three months ago two ex being arrested for violating the temporary restraining order and being jailed for a day three getting the permanent restraining order for being arrested for violating the permanent restraining order for a month and being released on probation probation conditions explicitly states here's to not contact my sister or be with in her vicinity despite being on probation he's playing ding-dong-ditch at random times during the late night for the past week we have video evidence of him being there through our ring doorbell we've called the cops multiple times and they take a while to get here and by that time they can't find him or they don't try too hard her ex is homeless living in his car probably and disowned by his parents so we really don't have a clue where he is during the day it was easier to get him arrest in the first couple times because he actually stuck around for someone to open the door but now he's given up on that completely and he does not seem in his right mind anymore last time I spoke with him he claimed to be hearing voices and we've heard him talking to himself a couple of times in the ring videos he's not doing anything violent but you never know he could snap and do something crazy one day my sister spoke to his probation officer and told her the situation he's currently scheduled to appear to court next month to address his probation violation I'm not sure if there's anything else we can do about this situation other than keep calling the cops and her pee attendants isn't hearing next month anything else that could possibly help us California copy are are you getting reports for each time he violates the court order or does the cop just say couldn't find him and drive away are they taking the ring footage as evidence he's violating in our the detectives and DA should be building a case against him / he should have warrants yeah we get reports every time and D mail them the time stamp to ring videos I realized it's hopefully only a matter of time until he's caught but I'd rather see that be sooner rather than later email them the time stamp to ring videos you may want to followup with the officer PR detectives or a DA and make sure your emails are being properly submitted as evidence having been in a situation where I had to provide video evidence make certain that the email you're sending those videos to is appropriate for evidence collection I've had an officer asked me to email them video and it never makes it into the report file a month later the detective closed the case due to lack of any evidence they said the officer should not have had me email a video file to his department email as the detective doesn't have access to officers personal email which makes sense there's no policy or law that mandates offices submit evidence they collect sir I was out of luck I learned the proper procedure for my area was to burn the video on a CD and label it properly then bring it to the station for the detective it was more work than just emailing a Dropbox link which is what I'd done previously but then it's legally entered as evidence as others have said you should get a copy of the reports etc but it honestly sounds like you're waiting for him to be arrested depends on how your County works your sister can probably talk with the a DA on his probation violation case and make sure he knows what's been going on where I am at at least they communicate with the victims regularly mature mez it wasn't clear to me if you were reporting every incident to his parole officer in addition to the police if not that might be helpful I suspect that the parole officer has more ability to persuade the police to take this seriously and work at it than you do clearly the police could locate this person and arrest him for violating the restraining order if they really wanted to they would simply need to station an officer where they could view your doorbell they have chosen not to prioritize it high enough to do this perhaps because of other more serious crimes requiring their attention perhaps because they don't believe the situation to be serious your goal is to change their minds about the priority of your case we plan to call the office again during the weekday to give her the new case numbers not sure what they're able to do than they already have ie report probation violation but better than nothing I guess exactly what I was thinking this isn't an area of law that I'm familiar with so forgive me if I'm wrong but aren't people on probation required to check in with their probation officer not sure about others but his probation officers said he was supposed to meet with the officer every week or so in addition to weekly classes on domestic violence according to her he hasn't exactly been keeping up with that and last one the ultimate ding dong ditcher is there a vehicle in the picture or is he walking in from far outside of the frame maybe worth getting a camera looking at the street to see if you can capture any lies displayed data or color make and model and Opie says we know his car but we live in a neighborhood with a lot of nooks and crannies to park in and our front door is not facing the streets not even sure if he has his car anymore since cars get impounded when you get arrested rights and you have to pay to get them out he told me he was able to pay to get it out the first time not sure about this time and now update on my sister's crazy ex playing ding-dong-ditch California USA this literally happened a couple hours ago so emotions might be running high I posted about a week or so ago that my sister's ex was ringing our doorbell and bothering us despite her having a restraining order the cops have not been able to arrest him he sporadically came to our house but not with any regularity but he came this night and well he finally went off the deep end order of events in numbered formats one through a hammer through the master bedroom window on the second floor didn't know it was a hammer until after the cops left to called the cops to come ASAP three proceeded to bang on our door and yell like a maniac demanding I or my sister open the door this lasted a good 10 minutes or sir we have video evidence of him at our front door fire our ring doorbell four took his car and rammed it into our patio fence and then into our garage door patio fence is still holding up but it's clear someone ran into it the garage door was torn off we don't have video footage of this since the ring doorbell is on the other side of the house five once the garage door was torn off he entered the garage and proceeded to bang on the door in the garage that would lead into the house six eventually leaves and the cops show up we spend some time talking to the cops when the ex rolls up into the driveway immediately starts booking it when he sees the cop car seven cops pursue you but according to policy once the suspect starts running red lights and disobeying traffic rolls they can't pursue father because if the suspect were to crash into someone due to being chased by the police the police would be held liable which I understand logic behind but it's a very frustrating and I think that's about the gist of it very unfortunate timing this happened today because the police force was extremely spread thin in the Bay Area because of the shooting in Gilroy so they took quite a while to appear so some questions I have lingering one according to the cops he has no warrants for his arrest yet is there anything we can do to get that done - obviously there's property damage that we have to address and I'm new to insurance shenanigans I'm under the assumption that we take pictures of the damage then call our home insurance to see if they cover it and if not then tough beans we have to pay out of pockets three self defense is always a tricky subject if he breaks into the house do I have the legal right to restrain him and even use deadly force if necessary for the consensus among us is that even if we get him arrested he might just be insane enough to come back when he's eventually arrested when he is arrested we are planning on using that time to buy time for us to sell the house and move however if we do move and he does proceed to damage the house when the new owners move in would we be in any legal trouble five is there anything I could do that might help out in this situation one go to the police station this morning with all of this information and talk to them they will likely get the ball rolling on an arrest warrants to call insurance they will handle it's likely paying outs then trying to sue the perpetrator for damages three you have the right to defend yourself a few feel you or other people are in immediate danger you can read California self-defense laws here at state law fine blow calm for you may have to disclose this incident to any prospective buyers the laws vary from state to state and it's something that you would have to consult with a licensed realtor or even a real estate lawyer in your area v vera stalking victim groups out there who may be able to help you even if it's just someone to talk through these things reaching out to a local one may be a big help California Standards disclosure forms are especially thorough and require disclosure of any material facts regarding value or desirability of buddy even beyond the extensive enumerated list a deranged person violently targeting the property will almost certainly fall in that category what kind of damages would it by a have in a situation like this it sounds easier to disclose and avoid altogether the buyer could have negligible damages if the situation takes care of itself alternatively the house could come in to carry a negative stigma the deters are the buyers in the worst case scenario this guy does not realize they've moved and wreaks havoc upon it once again or simply just torches it that's that's just lovely isn't it another person asks the ARP are you sure you have a restraining order the cops aren't acting like it yes we do and it's very frustrating that we cannot effectively enforce it since police response time is so slow your ring doorbell footage is not in sufficient evidence of him violating the restraining order for the police to issue an arrest warrants I would think it should be and as another posted you need to go to the police station with that evidence and get them to issue an arrest warrant if it isn't sufficient evidence I would be interested in the rationale behind their thinking and the last one you need to contact his probation officer they can file paperwork to revoke his probation and don't need to involve the cops called the probation officer to let them know what happens as mentioned in the initial post he has a court hearing for his probation violations scheduled this week on Friday if he fails to show up which is very likely the probation officers said there will officially be an arrest warrant for him without bail have you taken out a restraining order as well or just your sister if he does show up then maybe you could have him served with yours as well as he'll be violating both each time that he comes to the house just my sister for now although her order does cover my mother and dog not a very threatening wonder who live with both of us he is a bit of digression when we were filling out before the application I volunteered to stay out of the order because you need someone that is not protected by the order to serve it and have it be legit so when we finally got the order the next time he came to our house I opened up served the papers and promptly closed the door him we thought that would be the end of it if only and now one two updates sisters crazy ex played dingdong ditch before vandalizing our house California USA back story my sister's crazy ex-boyfriend has been arrested multiple times for violating her restraining order against him however he is extremely persistent and stupid and played ding-dong-ditch on us for about a month before escalating to vandalizing our house and attempting to break in while my family and I were home so hello everyone yeah I'm still alive a happier update this time around so two days after the incident I go to work but my sister was at home and saw her ex parked near our house smoking weed and probably high out of his mind so she calls the cops and they amazingly do not take hours to show up the cops and the ex go back and forth for a while before the idiot starts trying to drive away but he stopped soon enough and he's arrested on the legal side of things he got his probation revoked not sure how that benefits us but err and was ordered to be held in custody with no bail my sister and I actually had to go to court today for his preliminary examination but we ended up not being needed apparently the defense is calling for a medical evaluation because they are questioning the competency of the defendant to stand trial the DA for the case told us the evaluation will last up to three months not sure if I heard this right seems a bit long but what do I know if he's deemed competent the court proceedings will proceed if not then they'll transfer him to a hospital to try to rehabilitate him and if successful then they'll continue the court proceedings so from my understanding my sister and I are just waiting for the evaluation to be finished and then we will go from there in the meantime he's still in custody with no way out now we are thinking of relocating which is a whole other can of worms but at least we bought some time many thanks for the people who gave out advice in the earlier posts I hurt my families through the worst of this situation once things are all said and done at least I walk away from this with a much better understanding of the justice system and I hope that they you know do get this all sorted that's looking really good for them honestly and our next post is by user open book policy titled second grader peed themselves after being told three times they couldn't leave the classroom to go to the bathroom I'll keep this short this is Oregon our second grader was told three times that they were not allowed to exit the classroom to use the bathroom even after saying it was an emergency he's embarrassed that he peed himself contacted the principal and they defended the substitute teacher that was in charge that day the substitute teacher is also supposed to contact us for more information is there anything else we can do about this our son should feel safe at school he is easily embarrassed and can get emotional at times he has gone to a therapist on and off before since he raised in a split home so this is just one more thing to affect him psychologically not to mention this can also cause health issues is there a proper way to file a complaint against the school after talking to the school with no actions or resolutions teacher here although I have high schoolers that should be regulating themselves better ie going during passing periods and lunch outside of an emergency like a lockdown or weather emergency a little one with a little bladder should be allowed to go and will unless the school has protocols about being escorted or one out at a time etc or the student has an existing behavior issue and can't be trusted alone I had one that would clog toilets write graffiti vape her 420 and he always had to have an office aide escort I agree with the advice tell him just to go respectfully and then report to the principal respectfully and it should be fine principals back subs because they need to keep subs there's never enough subs and it's realized this was legal advice not the teacher subreddits as far as legally you can contact the superintendent oh the school board they would be next up in the chain of command lay out the facts and ask for clarification to the school / districts policy on restroom use by students thank you for the information I'll look into the handbook check if they have protocols in place that I'm unaware of I edited with a little more information about the next steps I'm assuming that your kid is just little and doesn't have a medical issue I've also taught children with kidney issues and it is very clear in their paperwork that they can go whenever they once no known bladder issue he's about to turn eight he has a substitute for the next month while his teacher recovers from surgery I don't know if his actual teacher let the kids go during class time but maybe she did and our son thought this sub would allow him to go during class it never hurts to ask for a face-to-face meeting with the principal to get some more feedback as to why they defended the sub perhaps there is more to the story good luck only a few more days until winter break and Mimas bear cheese says you can escalate any dissatisfaction with the school or the school administration to the school board however unless your son has a formal accommodation on file with the school that guarantees him immediate access to the rest room whenever he needs to go there is no guarantee you will be able to force any action teachers are permitted to reasonably restrict when students are permitted to leave the classroom and most schools and if the school sees the teachers refusal as reasonable and in line with their policies for example if the child just had the opportunity to use the bathroom and did not do so they may decline to pursue disciplinary action thank you this is the info I needed and they replied to the RP I strongly suspect that the administration backed up the son but when speaking to you but then called the sub on the carpet and strongly suggested that she makes sure a situation like that does not happen again subbing is not an easy job and subs often inexperienced or retired teachers with antiquity methods they are frequently treated horribly by the students but schools need them desperately and there aren't enough people willing to do it due to the low pay and crappy conditions my point is the sub screwed up but sub screw-up a lot the job is really hard but they let inexperienced people do it because subs are needed so badly source have been a substitute teacher on and off for some twenty years just a little side note I've always to be a substitute teacher you just like chat with them you help the kids out you keep them in line he'd start during marks on the board when they won't stop talking and you keep the minute lunch sounds like a fun time look after classroom of 30 kids for half an hour now there's some edits in the post that finish this one off and it's post got locked guess everyone was here for storytime and wanted to contribute to similar experience seems to be the way these days second edits I'm the stepmom by the way his mom called and spoke to the principal yesterday the principal defended the substitute teacher and said she needs to speak to his substitute first the substitute called his mom this morning his mum was expecting to raise hell with the substitute the substitute immediately apologized and didn't defend her actions she will also be apologizing to our son which is what we all wanted I posted on our town's community page yesterday and the school saw then I posted here on legal as well I didn't post on legal to sue we wanted to make a stink so they know what they did was inhumane and also a little son know that we hey guys it's Yossi Hobby machi back at it again with another video now if you love me as much as I love you then you know what to do I want you to run at that old like button and tackle it like Steve Irwin would a crocodile maybe even shuck an Aussie flag a crocodile or a nice handsome man down in the comments now with that said I want you to sit back relax Chuck a shrimp onto the Bobby and get ready for some bloody good legal advice now our first post today is by de dude 42 titled North Carolina sold them a used car now they sued me over it small claims procedure first of all apologies for mobile formatting and had to type this up in task right after I got the court summons my wife and I decided to sell her Jeep about a month ago a local couple noticed it on let go and we sold it to them that weekend the next Monday I get a text from the wife asking if they can return the car to us and get their money back as it developed a rattle and they believed it is unsafe to drive well that rattle they heard was the same one they heard on the test drive and the same one that I pointed out to them as be me loosed exhaust hanger but no this was a new rattle they hadn't heard before and they wanted their money back my wife and I declined and they threatened suing us for it I laughed it off they wouldn't do that over something so stupid right wrong I just got a summons in the mail today so my question is do they have a case at all heal everything I've read online from places like FTC States all private sales are as is and it is on the buyer to properly examine and educate themselves before the purchase am I wrong in thinking that these two are being major P ITA just for the sake of it's finally what should I bring to the court with me to get us out of this now it wouldn't appear you've described any sort of case one guesses they'll say something other than yeah we bought a car as is and now we want to give it back anyway and the difficulty in predicting what something maybe is why you might seek an attorney in handling the matter it won't be your burden to prove anything in particular about this sale as you point out the sale was as is unless they establish that it was otherwise you might bring your bill of sale and be prepared to discuss the events as they transpired you may want to document your interactions with them write notes of how the transaction went stay objective and avoid sounding judgey or equivalent the hearing won't be soon don't try to rely on your memory caveat emptor you have nothing to fear unless you also offered a warranty too easy I figured as much you have to show up at court there definitely you'd be amazed of the cases that are lost when people don't show up one you're not wrong in thinking that to bring copies of all documentation you have about the sale and any communications between you and them you and your wife should probably both go three did they see you in small claims court in the county ewing or in their county for carry two courts if you don't then they will probably win by defaults in North Carolina you can hire an attorney to go to small claims court if you once I didn't know that I would bother and they said that they filed in the same County that we live in and our last comment is by a derelict dress well for courts bring everything you have from the sale of the car including listing bring Blue Book prices any other ads that show what seventeen-year-old Jeep is / has sold for in the area be courteous to the judge direct all comments to the judge and nobody else keep answers concise and to the point double down on the your honor as you can see I never offered or implied a warranty your honor I sold it to them as is in the same condition it was when they test drove it you can always step into a law office and get a 30 minute quick tutorial on what to bring and how to handle it shouldn't cost you much I personally wouldn't hire a lawyer to represent me the risk here is just too low worst case which won't happen you get the Jeep back give them the money back and you resell it with better documentation I will be doing this for damn sure solid way to plants I would also just make sure you have mileage and condition locked now if it's a fun scam or to get the car for the weekend and put a bunch of miles on it or etc seems like a lot of effort just for a joyride I'll say and now update North Carolina sold them a used car now they sued me small claims procedure a lot of stress was lifted from our shoulders today thankfully this morning we had our court date and let me tell you that was pretty quick got in at 8:30 to out by 8:50 the plaintiff presented her case in which she said that we hadn't disclosed an airbag light that was on the dash and that the check engine light code we told him about was false information because it actually turned out to be another issue said the vehicle had more rust than they originally knew about and that they hadn't driven it because a mechanic told them it was unsafe to drive we presented our defense clearly stating that they had the opportunity to have that vehicle checked by a mechanic but chose to take our word for it and that we brought all known faults to their attention prior to selling them the vehicle anything they found after they took ownership wasn't our issue anymore they had all chances to make a proper decision prior we brought up the FTC's private sale guide stating that all cards sold from a private party to private party are as is unless otherwise stated we neither expressed nor implied any warranties long story short the magistrate dismissed the case with prejudice to the plaintiff because n North Carolina is a buyer beware State and the buyer should have done in all their power to make an informed decision before purchasing the vehicle they have ten days to appeal but I doubt that's gonna happen thanks to everyone that commented and gave my wife and I more information on the original post it sure helped alright and our next post is titled my landlord called the cops on me for trying to pay my rent cop made her let me pay now I'm being evicted for non-payment this is in Texas sir there is a very long and convoluted backstory but in July my apartment complex was bought out by one of those property flipping companies they left me without air-conditioning for 17 days in heat over 100 degrees when I complained she told me to call the city they shut down the website where we could make payments this was never an issue when I could pay online and I was never late in the year and a half before this company bought my complex they've made my life an absolute living hell and will not allow me to pay racking up more and more late fees every month this month I went on the 4th to pay my rent it was one day after late fee policy so I expected to pay a $50 late fee she told me she could not take my check my lease says checks are accepted through the 10th I was already exhausted with her after the air-conditioning Fiasco and told her I had to pay my rent and I tried to leave the check with her she told me she was calling the cops and I left I got a knock on my door and thought it would be the cops it was her she gave me my check back with a copy of my lease it said in handwriting on the back that checks are accepted the 1st through 3rd on the front in typing where I signed it said checks through the tenth I went back in there with the check and trying to show her where it says I could pay by check through the tenth she would not listen to me she would not even look at the lease I was pointing to her the cop finally came talked to me talk to her then told me that she said she'd make a one-time exception and take my payment I thought this month's hell was finally over today four days later I hear someone trying to unlock my door I quickly got dressed and went to the door it was her with her key trying to come in I asked what she was doing and she handed me an eviction notice she said she could not accept my check because I had an NSF before I have once because they took so long to cash it and I forgot about it that was my faults but this is not my lease also says no checks will be accepted after two NSF's I have only had one my eviction notice says I have until the 11th to get out or they will change the locks I cannot afford a lawyer and I need help they're in violation of my lease and tried to enter my property without notice or permission a cop was here and told her to take my check what do I do here's an outline of the eviction process you're at step one they can't lock you out on the 11th get all your evidence together and wait for your court dates make extra copies of your lease and keep one in your car in case they do lock you out I'm sorry I'm confused the paper they gave me states I will be locked out on the 11th they also wrote on your lease that checks cannot be accepted after three days these people don't seem very honest unless you've ignored your court date it's illegal for them to lock you out prior to an eviction hearing they are not honest and do not care about the law this is the second time they've tried to enter unlawfully and they've towed my neighbor from his paid parking spot three times have you called the police local housing authorities what advice are you looking for here I'm newish to Texas and I don't know exactly who to call would the police help with a matter like this this is my first rental from a huge complex and first rental in Texas ever if you're illegally evicted yes the police can force them to let you back in the actual landlord tenant dispute is civil though I would suggest finding an attorney at this point you may shortly have a case for a legal eviction in the meantime I would suggest you consider putting up a surveillance camera in your apartment in case they come in while you're not home that way if they steal something or throw out your stuff is part of the illegal eviction you have a record of what's taken and can report it to the police and/or sue if appropriate in every lease there should be a mention of the payment section that describes the legal method in which you can pay and they're obligated to make a reasonable effort to provide if they aren't doing that they're in violation of the lease AC is also an issue of basic habitability in Texas and the best thing for you to do is contact the Texas rental authority to enforce your rights they just want to make you leave but Texas has a lot of tenant rights thank you I will contact them they are in violation of my lease in so many ways they have pro bono attorneys just for this kind of thing good luck can I just say that this is why I love the Internet this person may have just had help with an incredibly difficult time in their life and it's all thanks to the knowledge of huge purple nipples honestly it's one of my favorite parts too I love feeling like I can help someone I don't even know with my knowledge of a particular area of the world thanks for the kind words Texas requires one person at the property management company to be licensed by the Real Estate Board call the company and find out who they licensed person is and file a complaint against their license when you call you might let them know why you are filing a complaint against their license they might back down on their threat to evict you do that in addition to the other suggestions about safeguarding your valuables and showing up in court if you are served I wouldn't bother telling them anything just get the information you need and go file your complaint you shouldn't threaten to file in order to make them do anything no need to get into trouble trying to extort people also there's no need to broadcast your strategy to your opponents say as little as you need to get what you want if RP can avoid having an eviction filing on their record it will be better for them going forward it's possible that the licensee doesn't even know what their employees are doing so while you're correct there shouldn't not be a threat of anything I would still call and talk to the person who is going to get to the complaint I'm not a lawyer however do work with property management companies in addition to preparing and copying the documents for courts try contacting the company that manages the property if they have a lick of sense they'll hear about the manager trying to modify the lease and put a stop to this before a judge does the management company's logo should be at the footer of their websites and you can usually find contact information on the corporate sites also post on their social media in competitive markets like Texas a negative review can cost them a lot of money even if you don't get evicted look for a new place companies that flip properties need residents to leave so they can do their work and lease at a higher rents so they're going to want you go in regardless good luck and now update my landlord called the cops on me for trying to pay my rent cop made her let me pay now I'm being evicted for non-payment Texas thank you for all the wonderful advice I definitely feel more educated informed about my rights now I'm no longer being evicted and I got all of my late fees back as an account credit except for five dollars but at this point I don't even care to ask why I used the property records to hunt down their main office in Houston I live in Dallas and forwarded them the same email outlining all the ways they had violated my lease that I had sent to the taa the city as well as apparently pointless thanks guys BBB the guy they got me set up with online payment system that they actually do have Contreras manager here told me next month I can just pay online he went through my account got it paid and refunded me one hundred and twenty-five dollars in late fees as a credit I actually ever paid five dollars but it's mostly a win without having to go to courts I also have the contact information for a pro bono place that specializes in housing just in case I ever need it thank you all so much for the overwhelming amount of responses and in Meishan and our next post is by user NJ throw away 2019 titled neighbor touched my son New Jersey throw away just because first let me say I'm a longtime fan of this sub and really appreciate the help you'll provide location New Jersey now there is a deaf and mute man in my neighborhood henceforth neighbor neighbor lives maybe a half a block away from us I assume he also has some other special needs as he doesn't drive he rides a bike all over town and has clearly no job he's around the neighborhood all the time neighbor has always come around when we've been out in the yard and played without children son five daughter three my in-laws have always been creeped out by him but I tried to be open-minded and reserve judgment I'm currently enrolled in grad school and Ted cloths this evening when I left the kids were in the backyard playing with neighbor while my wife was doing some gardening nearby about an hour into class I received a text from my wife we had done with neighbor son just requested to come inside because neighbor kept touching his private pot and rubbing his belly needless to say I'm livid and questioning my faith in humanity we will be taking a trip to the police station tomorrow morning to file a reports and possibly request a restraining order I am not under the delusion that any form of prosecution will occur but we know the police will need to be notified by questions one is there anything I should prepare before we visit the station two what a restraining order be the right thing to pursue we don't need hundreds of feet of clearance I just don't want the guy on my property to attempting to contact anyone in our family ever again three is there anything else I should be doing one don't prepare particularly where your son is concerned they'll want to question him without any direct coaching or indirect influence from year all you should tell him is the police are there to help and he should tell the truth when they ask him questions to a restraining order will probably be easy to get in these circumstances the police can help you with that normally I'd say tell the guy first that he's not welcome anymore and call the police if he shows up again after that but even if he doesn't understand what he did to your son it's inexcusable and the nuclear option is justified three counseling for your son he may not be traumatized at all but it would be to his benefit to be professionally evaluated and guided through coping now rather than waiting years to see if something manifests just to be clear preparing my son was never an option I want the truth just as much as anyone else and we'll take special care not to ask leading questions or the like the question was more along the lines of do I need to be prepared for CPS to question my family or other things it would be our preference that this is a simple visit to the station to file a report and possibly a restraining order I guess what I'm asking is should I be prepared for it to be more than that and if so what should I expect regarding counseling I think an evaluation is a great idea we're doing our best not to turn this into a bigger deal for my son than it already is portraying our trip to the station as hey kids let's see what a police station looks like and to maybe get it to law and the like but certainly an evaluation by a pro is a good idea thank you and police a mandated reporters when they know of abuse but I would be surprised if CPS has to be involved in this case the abuser is known isn't family and you're reporting it promptly there's not going to be any indication that your son is in imminent danger that said if they have to report it regardless the investigator will likely talk to you all briefly see a clean home with toys and food in the fridge and write it off as a formality and now updates to that post I know the original purse didn't get a lot of attention so that probably isn't much demand for an update but I did want to thank the people who commented and maybe give some guidance on expectations for anybody who might have the horrible luck to fall into a similar situation also it's just not something we want to talk about with friends and family so call it therapy for me updates on Tuesday morning the entire family went to the police station to file a report my wife and I interviewed with an officer and Detective together at first and then my wife alone after that the detective contacted the County Prosecutor's Office an hour or so later we're on our way at a county facility so we could all be interviewed by a couple detectives from the County Prosecutor's Office once interviews were over the county detectives sat down with my wife and died to let us know my son had given them some actionable information and they intended to act relatively quickly the detectives who interviewed the children had tears in her eyes from there we went home that afternoon neighbor knocked on the door looking to play with the kids I opened the inner door left the storm door closed and made it clear he needed to go away which he did soon after I went to night school asking my wife to stay indoors with the kids for the nights which she did when I got home she said nothing else had occurred for the most fights Wednesday was quiet and relatively normal we did not see the neighbor all day and Wednesday night we came to know why a detective called us to let us know neighbor had been taken into custody on Tuesday night while I was at school and would remain in custody for a few days until his hearing I assumed arraignments Thursday morning a woman from the state DCF /c PNP office came to the house she made a cursory check of the house and interviewed my wife and died together to my mind this was actually a good thing she was able to let us know that neighbor had been charged with two counts I don't recall exactly what they were she also provided other important facts one the neighbor had a history albeit old late eighties early 90s and in California too neighbor had admitted to the act to the detective that arrested him on Tuesday evening from there she advised we were entitled to have my son evaluated by a state specialist and possible therapy if necessary we will need to have them check in with us once a month until the case is closed on their end and the evaluation etc will necessarily extend that timeframe but we opted to go this route anyway while she was there I asked if she knew what the likely penalty was which she did not and whether or not she thought we should pursue her address if the neighbor was likely to be free again soon she was unsure and promised to check in with the detectives on the subject Friday yesterday afternoon we received a call from the County detective she informed us that the neighbors hearing was set for Monday and that his lawyer intended to ask that he be released to his home with an ankle monitor for the period between the hearing and his trial she wanted to ask for our input as to how hard the prosecutor should push to have the neighbor remain in custody here's the thing neighbor so far as we can tell actually lives with a family and they have small children I advise the detectives that were okay with the neighbor being home so long as he was confided to approximately his property she confirmed that would be the case and that ain't no contact order would be in place we agreed that that was okay with us but also said we felt strongly the family with whom the neighbor lives should have input that brings us up-to-date and to be honest I am torn I hate what this man did I hate that it has happened before and I never want it to happen again with that said at first I was unsure as to whether the neighbors even knew what he did he clearly has some emotional and intellectual challenges but he also knew at least to some extent what he was doing as he admitted the act to the arresting detective I get the feeling he is something akin to a deaf and mute to Lenny from Of Mice and Men and that tears my heart out I don't think he really understands and I don't want to be vindictive to someone like that at the same time he touched my son if there were no clear impairments I would want to take a baseball bat to his head but there is and instead I feel like crap for everyone involved this sucks full stop on a more selfish note the Megan's Law registry there are a handful of homes for sale in the area until now my wife and I were hopeful that more families with children would move into the area that hope is now over because neighbors history all predates Megas law he was not on the registry and now he will be and now families with kids will move into the area I realized this is tangential to the main topic and pretty self-centered but it's just one more way that the neighbor is going to make our lives a smidge worse just by existing to repeat myself this sucks full stop sorry for the book and if the mod see fit to remove the updates as it's not all that particular to illegal matters I understand honestly I just feel a bit better getting it all down and putting it out there thanks to anyone who reads through all right and that's all for today's r slash legal advice episode guys I hope you enjoyed this one tell me what you thought of it all down in the comments below I'd love to see your commentary what you think events and what you didn't like about it I guess this has been Maki I hope you're enjoying your quarantine today let's keep let's keep spirits high guys and I hope you have a good day night sleep whatever you're up to I'll see in the next episode cross-post from r / relationships can I sue my boyfriend for fake rent that he took away from me from Pennsylvania I was sent here by a / relationships and put a more detailed post over there my boyfriend and I moved into a house together a year ago my boyfriend told me to deposit $1,000 a month for rent into an account for our quote unquote landlord turns out his parents owned the house and they haven't been charging either of us rent turns out he has been saving this money to give me as a gift later I have seen a bank statement he will not give me the money right now because he says I'll take it and leave him during the last year my boyfriend has helped me out a couple times financially and he says he can just keep all the money although he's probably spent about $1,000 on me not the full $13,000 I know I probably screwed up by sending the money directly into the accounts is there a way to get that money back legally did you sign a lease of any sort if not your boyfriend was charging you $1,000 per month in rent it doesn't matter if he was not being charged rent himself shouldn't this per se ex-boyfriend the lease doesn't say anything about rent I looked back at it and it basically says that we won't trash the house or move other people in his parents didn't know about any of this as far as I know it's their house not my soon-to-be ex-boyfriends so there was a lease and you have it in writing and it says the apartment is being rented by both of you rent-free and you and your boyfriend both signed it beliefs just says nothing about paying rent his mom is the owner of the house and I have a message from her that says she wasn't being paid rent and that neither of us was being charged whose signatures are on the lease both of us signed the same lease agreement you could send your boyfriend a written letter via registered mail demanding repayment of the rent if he doesn't pay you you could sue him you probably can't do that in a small claims court so you would need a lawyer because of the specifics of this case and the fact that they are a family a lawyer may not take the case it's also quite possible you would lose you would definitely need the parents to testify in court that they were owed no rent honestly it is probably best to take this as a lesson learned take your stuff and get out or that really sucks and the next comments are estate Ellis I'm not sure you have much recourse here your boyfriend was essentially being allowed to live rent-free in his parents house he decided to charge you rent absent any written leases this becomes a he-said she-said their family and perhaps would respond to illegal threats by uniting against you parents can say we rented to her only money went to his accounts we knew that unless you can get the parents to agree that you were allowed to live rent-free and that you were scammed by your boyfriend you're in a tough position do you think the parents would be willing to put in an affidavit a sworn written statement or testify to that I have a message from his mom that says neither of us was paying rent and that she hasn't received any rent money okay keep your call ask for the money back make up an excuse XYZ why you need the money oh thank God my car engine seized and I don't know what I would have done once you have it I would take some time alone to think about if you can forgive him if he doesn't give it back explain to his mom what has happened his mom will probably make him see sense this is a ridiculous situation I was close to not reading this comment but then I saw his name and dr. poopoo head says but other parents willing to testify will they state in court under oath that the agreement was not to charge you rent and that their son was scamming you out of your money unless they're willing to back you up you probably don't have much to go on hope II didn't reply to that one but thank you dr. poopoo Hedford giving us a comments and last comments this is a crime probably a third degree felony in your state there are likely multiple crimes here your boyfriend created the oppression in your head that he and you owed rent this was a false impression he purposefully failed to correct the impression each month for 13 months questions will you ever late on paying rent and if so did your boyfriend ever remind you to pay who earns the bank account / what names are on the bank account and how is it styled did you ever question the rent payments or otherwise cause your boyfriend to directly confirm that rent is due even something as passive as using I have the rent deposits and him saying okay or simply nodding is very relevant information did he tell you the rent was going to be a gift for you after you discovered that there was in fact no rent ever due and payable I'm willing to bet that the answer to the last question is a resounding yes the only reason your boyfriend said it was going to be a gift because you discovered his fraud this is where it could get irrelevantly complicated you said that you saw a statement and that he spent about a $1000 on you but you don't know how much of the full $13,000 is remaining in the accounts or how much total your boyfriend is spent on you even spending just $1000 on you is offensive your boyfriend was essentially defrauding you to finance gifts the reality is he didn't spend $1000 on you you spent $1,000 on you so yeah the amount of money he may have spent or even if he really intended to surprise you with a gift of significant value in the future is completely irrelevant to the crimes that he has committed back to relevant matters if he is willing to defraud you in this man he will likely not think twice about lying cheating or stealing from you in the future you were not his girlfriend you are his crime victim giving back all the money is not sufficient in his lying mind he was going to give it back anyway so having to give it back now represents zero consequence even if you get the money back and leave him there is still zero consequence to him because my ex-girlfriend left me because she got all weird about money and was greedy go to the police he will victimize someone else unless you do something please don't take this to mean that it would be your fault when he lies and steals in the future because those are most definitely his choices this is very unfortunate situation for you I know you probably have a host of emotions and thoughts that you're dealing with I hope you find the strength to do what's best good luck I hope you didn't reply but I really liked that comments so I wanted to read it probably some of the best legal advice overhead like it's like ah / relationship and legal advice all-in-one it's a sick comment okay and now our update I figured this merited an update I told my ex-boyfriend I was moving out - with or without the money and he told me that if I left him he could keep the gift for himself I told him whatever and called his mother and told her I was leaving she asked why and I told her the whole story she asked me to give her a few minutes and then she would get back to me I heard her ex call my ex in the other room and could hear her yelling at him through the phone she called me back and told me to take pictures of the rooms I sent them to her and she gave me the all clear over text she also sent me an apology for my ex's behavior I left and thought that was that a few days later I get a check in the mail for fifteen thousand dollars from my ex's mum not exactly justice because the original money was indeed probably gone but I walked away feeling pretty good about the whole thing I feel like that is the best recourse that we can get in this story that is an amazing thing for the mother to do and I know that my mom would do it if I ever did that to someone god forbid and I would definitely do that for my kids that's a scummy thing to do to someone Christ heads up for you guys that are gonna get mad this one doesn't have an update in this next story but it's a very good story and it's got a lot of good legal advice in the comments I understand why Opie didn't comment further than this post anyway posted by user DRF Supercenter in Chicago I was robbed by my Airbnb host looking for legal advice this all took place over the past weekend Friday Saturday June 14th to 15th 10 months ago at this points in Chicago I already filed a police reports as well as brought this to the attention of Airbnb both over the phone and on Twitter unlike my post about this incident elsewhere I'll be as thorough in explaining the situation here as to the get the most relevant advice possible I apologize in advance for the essay but please read all of it if you want to give advice to make sure that you get the whole story sir I was in Chicago for the weekend for Pokemon go fest for those unfamiliar it's an all-day paid event hosted at a park this year it was at Grant Park my ticket date was for the Friday the 14th earlier that week Monday I think I went on Airbnb to look for an affordable options by this point all the hotels in the area were closed to $300 and nights and most air B&B is within a mile or two of Grant Park well either already booked or also that expensive I found what looked to be a good deal south of downtown for around 85 bucks and nines the host had mostly positive reviews with the only negative review saying that he felt the price was too high for a single bed fine nothing to really be concerned about there people said that the Hearst was nice that he made them breakfast really no reason to think there was anything fishy going on I requested Thursday through Sunday check out on Sunday through a B&B and the Hearst accepted my request later that day I put in the comments where it says to tell the Hearst about yourself and they encourage you to share why you were traveling that I was in town for Pokemon guru fest and would be gone most of the day and just needed a place to sleep at nights arrived in Chicago went to meet my host Thursday evening the uber driver warned me that it wasn't the best place for an air B&B and that it was one of the unsafe neighborhoods in Chicago well okay nice to know but I really didn't have any options at this point message the host that I was there he came out to meet and show me up to the room I took all of my belongings with me I had a laptop worth about $2,000 a suitcase with my Nintendo switch among other things phone chargers clothes medication and said I would be back later that I wanted to get some dinner I asked him if there was a key for the place that he could give me as that's usually what a B&B Hurst's have done at past trips I've taken even if it is just for a single room and not the entire place he said he doesn't have a spare key but to just message him when I need to be let in and he'll come to the door again he seemed friendly so I didn't think anything of it and I said I would be back later I got back messaged him to let me in and he came to open the door I went to bed didn't talk to the guy at all he had the TV on all nights or at least until I fell asleep I was lying in bed at 1:30 a.m. hearing his TV next morning Friday I got up showered took my medication and left after all that was the day of go fest where I would be busy in the park from 9 a.m. to 7 p.m. the host knew this I told him in my initial request a book that I would be gone all day so here I am in Grant Park at about 9:30 a.m. just after getting started with my day when I get a message from a B&B supports they told me your host is no longer its able to accommodate you let me know when I can call and discuss this with you already pretty pissed off at this point as I was trying to enjoy my day but I told them to go ahead and call whenever I got a call from a resolution manager maybe 15 minutes after I sent that message and the lady explained that for whatever reason the host was no longer able to host me and that his compensation they would give me a two hundred dollar voucher and give me links to other listings in the area great I said but what about all of my stuff I'm busy all day I can't just go get my suitcase and laptop having no what is take this stuff or can I check into an air B&B at 9:30 in the morning the lady said she'd check and call me back she called back another 10 to 15 minutes later and said I talked to your host and she said he would be there all day so you can get your things when it's convenience I said great then I won't leave the park and just go get my things after 7:00 p.m. when the event is done I asked the lady if he gave a reason for canceling my trip at this time I was too preoccupied to even ask if he had a right to do this I just went along with it and she said that he said something about not liking the communication whatever that means okay fast-forward to 12:30 p.m. host messages me through Airbnb note that the entire weekend I hadn't ever talked to the host outside of Airbnb I had his number and she had mine but I didn't receive any text messages from him or any calls and I didn't message / call him either given that the whole I don't have a key for you was already sketchy enough I wanted all of my communications with him to be logged through Airbnb so their staff could see it in case of incidents saying your checkout time was noon and you didn't come to get your stuff I'm gonna put it under the stairs I wrote back saying that a B&B support told me that you would be home all day what are you talking about my checkout time was noon on Sunday not in the middle of the day Friday if he wanted to cut my trip short that was on him but he's not gonna inconvenience me like this okay I didn't say all of that to him just the first part about what support told me he write back saying I don't know what you two talked about but I would definitely not be home all day I suggest you come get your stuff well considering that the front door to the building locks I figured my stuff was safe under the stairs and the tenants of that building would be getting in anyway and if he wasn't home later I could probably ask one of the tenants to open the door for me so around 6:00 p.m. when I had a bit of a break I looked for another Airbnb found something much closer that cost me more money since they were giving me a two hundred dollar voucher after all I tried to book one but the voucher wasn't working I called them and they say they'd look into it and I basically said look running at a time just give me $200 back to my credit card and I'll get a hotel I'm done dealing with you guidance they agreed under the condition I gave them the hotel receipt so I booked a hotel fast forward to Friday nights at around 8:30 p.m. finished go fest ate dinner got an uber back to the place I actually told the uber driver I was going to get my stuff and they needed a ride to the hotel he said he can just add a destination to our trip and agreed to wait while I got my stuff the front door to the complex was locked but the night before it had just opened after I jiggled the knob a few times I'm standing there trying to jiggle the knob and trying to push the door in when some lady gets out of her car with a young child she sees the uber driver parked there and watching me asks him what's going on he explains to her that he's waiting on me etc etc this lady's naturally a bit spooked as she sees some strange guy trying to what looks like break into her apartment building with someone else in the car waiting for them definitely seems sketchy from her perspective I explained the situation to her and she's shocked that anyone would rent an air B&B in that building but she agrees to open the door for me I get in look under the stairs and my luggage isn't there wanting answers immediately I attempt to actually call my former host he doesn't answer she said she tried to call as she lives across from him I gave her the number she calls gets his voicemail leaves a message oh and meanwhile the uber driver alerted me that someone else was added to his queue so he has to leave I say thanks for the ride and then I'll book another when I'm ready now I'm by myself while we're waiting for a call back up I walk up to her apartments which is directly across from his as she handed me a couple gallons of milk to carry for her while she unlocked the door for me I set the milk down in her apartments and just for the hell of it I open the tile app on my phone before I continue my story let me explain real quick what tile is and what it does tile is a small tracking device that you can attach to objects that you think might misplace in my case my car keys and wallets I have one in my wallet and one of my key ring if your phone is within Bluetooth range of these devices you can make them play music to help you find the device if you ever lose it's the app will tell you where its last seen sir anyway much to my surprise the tile app tells me that my key ring is in range right now literally as I'm standing outside the guys apartment that I can't get into my car keys which were in my luggage are within a hundred feet of my phone the guy calls her back and says look I told the guests this too I put his stuff under the stairs if it's gone then someone probably stole it and it's his fault for not coming to get it when I told him to she relays the message to me but I say no that's not true the stuff is here right now and I show her my phone she tells him this and I hear loud yelling over the phone he starts cussing her out saying it's none of her bloody business and hangs up okay now I'm starting to get the picture he probably saw this as a great opportunity I said in my notes that I would be gone all day for an event he sees that I have valuable items what a great idea he can end my state early no I can't get my stuff because I'm gone at an events claim he put it out for me and oh it's gone someone must have stolen it meanwhile he pockets all this valuable loot that he can do whatever with accepts he wasn't planning on me being able to prove that my belongings were in his apartment that nights when he wasn't home as soon as she tells him this he flips out realizing I'm on to him the lady calls the landlord landlord comes out I explain this all to him he advises me to file a police reports says that even though he has the key and can let me into his apartments he doesn't have the legal right to do so and that the tenants might a B&B Hurst could try to sue him for illegal entry the landlord also puts a notice in the guy's door saying he's going to evict him that it's totally against the lease to let guests stay there he was appalled that the place was even listed on an Airbnb we called the police waited about a half an hour for them to show up making small talk in the meantime he told me he was going to evict the guy soon anyway because of how Shady yes and that this whole Airbnb thing suddenly makes sense because the guy was always late paying the rent and kept coming up short but that mysteriously a couple months later he was able to pay it after the landlord threatened to evict I keep telling the guy look that's all well and dandy but I just want my stuff back I do understand where he's coming from and that's why I was glad to just wait for the police if the police can write up a warrant and let me in then great but after about half an hour voiding he said let's just go down to the station so he drives me there I run this by them and the cops basically say they can't issue a warrant off of that alone and that I have to attempt to get my stuff back directly from the person first then I can file a report if he doesn't comply then they can do something so the landlord tells me the guy's usually home Saturday mornings call him call the police they'll go up together and see what they can do so I'm staying completely empty-handed at a hotel Friday nights hoping I can resolve this matter in the morning Saturday morning comes I do exactly as instructed call landlord call police police escort comes out landlord comes out a bit later I call the host who of course does not answer sir landlord gets his spare key and we start walking up to the place me landlord and an officer knock on the door no reply police naksan says that they're the cops here with the landlord and guests the man opens the door ajar leaving it chained so they couldn't force entry starts filming and making this whole spiel about illegal entry and tether infringing his rights he says to me I messaged you lots of times and you ignored me I say no you didn't I don't have a single text from you only the one from Airbnb and he says that's bullcrap and you know it I say fine show me your phone and where you sent the texts and of course he refuses because that's not true at all the cop basically says look at this point you tried but you'll have to file a report for stolen belongings we can't break into this guy's place meanwhile I'm checking my friend while standing in front of his apartment like the night before and the tile shows it's no longer there says it was last seen 10:30 p.m. Friday nights when we left to wait on the cops so the guy moved my stuff elsewhere after realizing we were on to him also he took the notice off of his door the landlord gave me all the information I needed to file my police reports and asked if he could see the Airbnb listing just to see what I even agreed to with this guy would it shock anyone at this point that I learned that he used a fake name on Airbnb the name I had for him wasn't even his real name huge surprise so anyway I give the officer all this information they write up the reports I give them the itemized list of what was stolen they estimated it at around three thousand dollars I actually forgot to tell them about my switch at this point give them a victim notice and say an investigator will follow up with me in a week or sir well great I won't even be there in a week and you can easily sell my stuff before any of those serials I gave the cops get registered anywhere I called Airbnb about this I said first of all I didn't think hosts could just cancel a stay like that and kick a guest out they said they can't and that the guy on the phone said your stay wasn't cancelled at all it shows a confirmed reservation from June 13th to 14th with you checking out on the 14th at noon I said no that's not it look at my original confirmation he checks and says oh huh I see that now digs into it and apparently some supervisor overrode something that should not have been overridden as it shows in the Airbnb app that I consented to the altered stay I did not and was simply told I don't know what lies he told the Airbnb support people but they somehow got there manages to override this and alter my trip to say I was checking out in the 14th instead of the 16th so at this point I'm considering my goods lost and I called air B&B again and asked if there was any way that they can take the money from the guy after all if they deposit money into his accounts when people book stays with him they can take it out to to reimburse me the three thousand dollars he stole from me they said you can do that but you have to fill out a request and they sent me a link the link only lets me request $87 back one-night stay the other two were Auto refunded when the trip was halted I explained this to them and they said just request the $87 back the guy's not going to do it anyway then after 72 hours you can escalate it to our claims division and they can go from there needless to say I'm less than pleased with Airbnb support by now I've talked to several different case resolution managers who all just kept giving me links to the things within the app and none of them assuring me they will ban the guy from Airbnb for being a fraud and stealing from his guests I sent the guy message through ambien be saying fYI I gave the police all the serial numbers of what you stole and I have GPS tracking on my items should you try to sell them the second part isn't entirely true since tile requires a phone to be within range of its to actually get the location since Friday night it hasn't been picked up by any phones but he's not going to know that I said I'd be willing to drop the police report an Airbnb claim I filed against him if he returns my stuff again not true I'm absolutely still keeping that police report open no reply of course so I text him the same message still no reply Sunday morning I figure what the heck I'll try one last time I said something along the lines of if you don't return my belongings I will sue you for at least $3,000 which is the value of the items you stole from me short and sweet he messaged back I filed a police report against you for phone harassment don't contact me again I called the non-emergency police number and explained this all to them the lady said his supposed police report was completely bogus and that sending two messages asking for my stolen items back is absolutely not harassment that it wouldn't hold up in court at all but either way it's clear he's not going to return my stuff I'm now back in Michigan without any of my belongings the guy's probably gonna try to sell my stuff he's also probably being evicted from his apartments but that doesn't help me in the slightest a B&B is still working on the case and we'll contact you as soon as we can and I'm not expecting to hear anything from the police investigator for a week the lady of the police did say that I can hire a lawyer in Michigan to sue the men in Chicago and not to actually have to travel back to Chicago myself there I'm not sure I'd trust that I want to testify against the guy myself however I'd also never taken anyone to court before only times I've ever been to court where for jury duty and contest traffic tickets hence why I'm asking for advice what can I really do at this point I've googled the subject and most people are seeing Airbnb just tells people to sue in incidents like this they aren't a hotel and their insurance is to protect hosts from unruly guests and not vice-versa so I'm really not thinking they'll do anything either and the guy's listings are still up as well half tempted to hire someone else to book a place and go looking for my stuff long but seriously what should I do just sit in wait hire a lawyer any advice is really appreciated a friend suggested I should sue for more than just what my stuff is worth because of emotional trauma from the ordeal I believe the limit for small claims court is $5,000 so I'm considering asking for the max now the unfortunate thing is I repeat didn't reply to anyone about this and they made a post three months after this asking for how to replace their laptop so the sad thing about this entire story is I think they just accepted defeat and it looks like they didn't even pursue legal options which is really sad he doesn't look like he got his items back which is disgusting I'm gonna read a few comments and then we're gonna finish the video out with that in addition to suing him in small claims court which you should absolutely do if you have homeowners or renters insurance they should pay for this stuff I was robbed during a trip to Kenya and I got the full value back from my renter's insurance I had just bought a quite a bit of the stuff and Tad receipts so I was lucky there but I bet you have some sort of receipt for your computer and switch in your emails if nothing else they will jack you around on non receipt stuff but do your best at least you can get some of it back always sleepy 19:45 says do you have renters or homeowners insurance I'm not sure but it's possible they may cover this you can take him to small claims courts but keep in mind that you can't get blood from a stone it doesn't seem likely you'll ever get a penny from this guy take this as a very very expensive lesson you made numerous mistakes none justify or excuse what he did to you but learning from them may help to avoid this situation in the future research the area where you were staying do not trust that if only residents have a key your stuff is safe in fact if there is any conflict or issue with a host never trust that things are fine and immediately go retrieve your stuff unless the value of your stuff is less than the value of the event that is getting cut shorts you shouldn't have told him about the GPS tracking and should have told the cops when they arrived you should have waited for the cops and not left because of course he moved it right away and probably a lot more things you could have done better here again doesn't excuse what he did but it could have potentially been he said it would take two weeks to fix my car it's been three months and now he says he wants more than what we agreed on or he'll transfer the title over to him I live in Washington State my car broke down in April and I couldn't afford to take it to the shop luckily the triple a tow truck driver said that he had experience rebuilding my specific car and could do it for way cheaper 400 bucks I paid him 100 bucks at the start then another 100 bucks after three weeks every time I asked how close it was he would never give me a definite answer something always came up just last night he said he finally got it done but now he wants 300 bucks instead of the 200 bucks and he said he would transfer the title over to him if I don't pay him that amount is he even able to do that I feel like I shouldn't have to pay more seeing that he had my car for so long Thanks rule of thumb never pave upfront for services that aren't rendered also if you have the threat in writing to sign over your property without your consent of you don't pay blackmail money call the cops should I text him saying I'll be getting the cops involved to see if he'll give it up or should I just go ahead and call you don't have proof yet if it's not in writing the cops will probably dismiss it as a civil matter if you get them to admit in writing they're extorting you you have a better case for the cops arresting him and getting your property back without having to pay the mechanic for not doing their job or going to court for its does taxed count everything he said is over text print out the texts and go to the cops and tell them the person is extorting you and holding your property ransom he can't just transfer the title that's bullcrap and another one asks have you even seen your car at this points D know firsthand that it's fixed together runs etc I just went to go check it out car started up but it had the same problem as it did before I gave it to him he said the only problem it had was a snapped timing belt and a bad head he fixed both those things but the main problem wasn't fixed whatsoever and was even worse than before he said it wasn't his fault because he couldn't hear that issue before and now wants me to pay him three hundred dollars and deliver him an entire new engine that he would put in for free yeah I'm gonna call BS on that offer it's extremely difficult and expensive as all hell depending on the engine type and everything to get a new engine even if it's salvaged this guy is clearly ripping you off and do you need to get triple-a and the police involved also since you said the car is now worse than it was it's likely he caused his own damage to the engine I don't know what all laws deliberate engine damage would fall under but that's where the cops come in and hopefully put this scam to rest he just texted me again saying the car isn't leaving my property until you pay me $300 or you can sign the title over to me this guy isn't running a mechanic's business it's your car call the cops tell them that this guy was supposed to fix your car didn't and you tried to get your car and he stopped you since it's your name on the title they should go with you so you can get it and let the tow truck driver pounce and he can sue you and small claims court if he wants the 300 bucks also like everyone else said inform triple-a about this and they updated the post went to go check out the car waited 30 minutes for him to put the intake and oil in which he said he had already did the night before he started the car and it just blew a ton of bone oil smoked and made an even worse clicking noise than it did before I even brought it to him his excuse was that he didn't hear that before so he didn't know it was a problem he then said he would replace the engine bed for free as long as I gave him the 300 bucks and bought him a new engine I talked with the cops as well and he said there wasn't much I could do since he hasn't actually stolen it yet update to ended up paying him one hundred and sixty dollars and towed the car outs also called triple-a and reported it with them thanks everyone for the advice all rights and our next post is by user stabbed and fired titled Texas disgruntled ex-employee came back to work a week ago and stabbed me I am being fired because of it I just now got out of the hospital last Monday on the 28th I had an old employee we let go on Friday come in now this is not unusual as people generally forget things when they leave I asked him what he was doing here he said he needed to talk to me about what happened this guy was let go for budget reasons simple as that we cut five employees and he unfortunately made the cut I informed him that there was no real reason why he was let go just a business decision and that we would have glowing letters of recommendation for him will not interfere with unemployment's and will actually give good references for everyone who called this point he claims it's bullcrap and gets hostile I try to calm him down as does many other co-workers nearby his friend tried to say he would take him to lunch and pay basically everyone knew he needed to leave at this point he seemed to calm down but then he pulled out a pocketknife and stabbed me in the stomach I did not even realize I had been stabbed yet as I saw the knife and reacted I grabbed his arm and held it firmly the adrenaline was rushing through me so much I did not realize that I had been stabbed yet until I saw the blood I started to panic and punched him with my free hand in the jaw a few times I guess one of them hit home as he dropped to the ground I sat down in on the ground holding the knife in me as I knew it was probably the only thing keeping me from bleeding out the other workers that were there held him down until the police arrived the ambulance took me and I went in for surgery today I receive a phone call that I do not have to return to work I told my boss that I would be ready for light duty on Monday he said my health was not what he meant one of the H I guys saw me punched the fired worker a few times and said that my face was like a vicious animal exact words I taught my boss that this was to be expected when fight or flight kicks in he agreed with me and said that he wished we did not have to do this but that everyone who got physical with a former employee will probably be let go pending a review by legal this will make me lose my insurance I am worried about continuing medical issues the stab wound is still infected but I have been given both pills and D cream for this I'm mainly worried about losing the job is there any kind of suit I can bring up if I am fired for this I know you can sue someone for anything you once I am asking about suits that would have a reasonable chance of winning given a good lawyer also is it legal for my job to fire me and the guy who helped me over this the guy was only out for maybe a half a minute so he was still a danger it took the police 12 minutes to show up hello the ambulance was forced to wait outside for five minutes until the police showed up to secure the situation this guy had plenty of time to harm other people how can a job just up and fire everyone like this I'm guessing yes because Texas but is this even legal this is a run don't walk assuming your stitches allow for its to the nearest employment attorney type situation you have a legal and natural right of self-defense they fired you for protecting yourself in a situation where you had a legal right to do so this isn't a deal where you had a gun against policy or whatever you used your hands this is almost certainly a wrongful termination you should do fine in the lawsuits unless there are factors that we're not privy to such as you having let him in against policy or something like that and even then this is a very stupid move on the part of the employer hell your lawyer might be able to get the NRA to pay you for your litigation costs because of the self-defense aspect good luck this is fudging amazing you got canned because you looked a violent whilst defending yourself from a guy who was trying to murder you employment lawyer for the love of God don't go to some small shop neither go to a firm that specializes in employments they'll know how to properly monetize this what a terrible thing to happen I hope you heal up click yeah I'd love to meet the HR person who thought getting stabbed in the stomach is nothing to warrant a violent face while fighting a potential murder this had nothing to do with HR and everything to do with the legal such liability departments they probably have very strict and no tolerance violence policies like schools do now like his boss said everyone who got physical is likely getting fired in their eyes that's the easiest way to avoid any and all liability how ironic that it might end up costing them a crapload of money if it's lawsuit worthy what exactly is the liability that they are avoiding the guy who stabbed Opie successfully suing the company yes an employee of their company got physical with a former employee on the company's property during his shift it's bullcrap but it's the same idea behind being civilly liable for shooting someone who was breaking into your house with the intent to harm and last one do nots I say again do not sign any termination paperwork with your former employer if they request it and avoid any communication with HR no matter how shady they act without seeking legal counsel first do not sign anything but do not request it in writing call your old boss back and tell him you need your termination in writing for your food stamp application just get him to send it and don't tell him what for but don't make any threats I am NOT a lawyer I don't believe it would be illegal no matter what you said to him but please correct me and ask him if he can email that to you because you won't be coming back to the building get this in writing and you should have what they call a slam dunk Hank this is in Texas record asking the boss about the reason again and whether a job reference will say the same thing or something similar that highlights the absurdity then ask for it in writing the recording will be more valuable and now update stabbed at work and fired for my troubles so before I give you the updates I wanted to say a few things first I'm not some jujitsu my Thai Taekwondo Krav Maga Patrick Swayze Roadhouse style bar bouncer I know it's Krav Margaux not Krav Maga again I am NOT a veteran who obtained my Sikh martial art skills in the streets of Mosul what happened was simply adrenaline and a decent amount of martial arts training I received when I was kid kicking in although I do occasionally workout at the gym at my work so I am stronger than your average Network admin also for those calling bullcrap in the PM's saying that a punch to the jaw bond that knock you outs well I have a small lesson a well-placed punch to the jaw can cause minor to major brain trauma as the act of your brain shaking about in your head can overload the nervous system making you lose consciousness your muscles instantly relax and you fall to the ground with no memory of the last few seconds in other words go watch some UFC second to the people in the thread and in my PMS I did not punch him in retaliation for stabbing me his knife was still inside me and his hand was on the knife when I punched him in pure fear more like 100% pure terror so onto the update the company I worked for is a wholly owned subsidiary this will be important later the CEO of my company was unwilling to hear my side of it's no matter how many times I tried to approach him the best response I got was when his secretary gave me the line of trusting the decisions of HR several emails and two phone calls got this same response from him and his assistant each and every time because of the fact that no one at the office is willing to even hear my side I decided to go to a lawyer that was recommended through a friend friend contacted a lawyer he used in the past who referred me to someone he trusts upon hearing my story the lawyer was very eager to take my case on contingency as an added bonus he decided to represent the other three guys who helped out that day as well the lawyer decided to name the parent company in the suits alongside our former employer his reasoning is that the parent company would have reviewed corporate policies that the subsidiary hands and that they would have had final say on the policies in procedure this would have inevitably included the zero-tolerance workplace violence clause that caused us to be terminated well the parent company a company with many public contracts for city and state police in the area might I add was not too happy to hear about what it happens the event was apparently downplayed when it was reported to the parent company they told the parent company something along the lines of a scuffle broke out in the office as a result one of the employees was seriously injured all employees involved will be terminated and law enforcement to handling the criminal aspect paraphrasing but that was the gist of it upon hearing about the truth of the matter they were very quick to set up a meeting with us this is a company that is in the self defense and security business not to be confused with people in the firearm business they do not sell firearms but do provide armor non-lethal options and have security subsidiaries for police security firms and private citizens given the nature of their business they know full well the damage that negative press could do if word got out that one of their subsidiaries fired a guy who fought for his life this was the PR nightmare that gave us the edge in the negotiations the subsidiary I worked for is not in a self defense business they are a security monitoring firm that only handles corporate contracts so they were not worried about the kind of press like the parent company once upon hearing the full details of what went down that day the parent company went into panic mode the three guys who helped down my attacker won't be getting their old jobs back but they were often jobs doing the same thing at a parent company's facility twelve miles away they will also be compensated for lost wages at time at a half the normal pay rate for the time that they were out of work a parent company pretty much directed our old company to comply with this offer and our old company cut them a check since parent company has better benefits and better pay this was a slam-dunk a victory for those three cherry on top for them is that it means it close the drive for all of them this offer was contingent on the three guys not going off to either come for monetary compensation outside of what was offered and the signing of a non-disclosure agreements with the NDA and a signed contract guaranteeing employment for at least a year barring obvious reasons to fire people it would have been stupid of them not to take it for me it was a little more complicated they are very willing to offer me the same thing but there are complications from infections that occurred from the stabbing as I developed mrs a in the wounds fortunately it remains localized in my wound and does not spread to my bloodstream however if it progresses any worse than it currently is my doctor thinks it may be prudent to cut out the infection it is being watched very carefully and I spend probably two days out of the week in the hospital having the wound drained in the meantime I have been offered the job plus the ability to be paid while I work from home this would allow me to be on their excellent coverage plan they only have a 1k deductible for a single person my lawyer basically told me that this was the best possible deal that I could get without going to trial he explained that the parent company can take the hit on the publicity and survive but since all they have to do was offer me a job and get the old company to pay me for the time I was out of work why not minor expense to them and they do not have to worry about bad publicity I took the deal they offered and signed a nondisclosure agreement so TL DR of that one is that each of us were offered compensation for lost wages and offered better paying jobs at the parent company far as I know a former employer is paying the lawyer fees we did not pay a dime for his services as for the guy who stabbed me I was very ticked off to learn that he was offered a plea deal his charges were reduced from attempted murder to aggravated assault with a deadly weapon since he was a model citizen before his knife-wielding episode and since this was a crime of passion he was offered a mere one year in prison and a year of probation plus oh 10 K fine I am told that there is a possibility that he can have his record expunged and that he can be out in as little as six months I know that he has not appeared before the judge yet to take this plea deal they were waiting to see if I would die as the charge would obviously change from aggravated assaults to murder of the second degree once they found out that I was stable and that the em RSA was not life-threatening they set a court date for the twelfth I will be there because of the fact that a lawsuit against him right now would be a lawsuit against his wife and child I decided not to do anything on that front going after him would be a cash grab and would only hurt two people who had nothing to do with what happened that day so I see no reason to sue him also before it is asked yes I am taking extreme races to deal with my mr sa I have paid a company to come in and clean my house for time so far I am taking my medications on time every time and I am following a doctor's instructions for cleaning and replacement bandages it is getting better but my doctor thinks I will be dealing with this all the way until after Valentine's Day hell that sucks but I'm glad that everything is going better and I hope RP didn't die of the mr sa anyway on to our last post by Beauregard precious titled find thirteen thousand and sixty six dollars from the TSA for grabbing my insulin pump edited to add location incident happened in Austin Texas I live in Florida so I travel a lot for work and I'm a type 1 diabetic who uses an insulin pump the pump manufacturer told me when I received my new pump that I cannot go through any x-ray machine full-body scanner etc when I go through the TSA line I hold my pump out and tell them it cannot go through every time before this particular incidents they understood the protocol when I give them my schpeel take my pump let me pass through the full-body scanner have my carry-on x-rayed then as soon as I step through the full-body scanner they spot my pump and it back to me and I go on my way this time it was different I did my usual spiel held my pump outs and the TSA agent seemed flabbergasted she grabbed a plastic ball put my pump in it and set it aside told me to walk through the scandal which I did with no problem she taught me to wait for another TSA agents to come and swab the pump no problem here unusual from what I was used to but I'm okay with it just in context my blood sugar was high and I needed that pump attached to me to take extra insulin to bring my blood get down I didn't take any extra before going through the line and so I thought I'd get it right back as I always do after they swab it of course a couple minutes go by and this TSA agent keeps going about her business waving people through the line with me still standing there and turn not acknowledging me I walk over tap her on the shoulder and say hey can you please address my pump as I need it back she says yes but I will need to call another agent over to swab its and radios for another TSA agent to come River to address I wait another couple of minutes felt like an eternity and I'm starting to feel like cramp from the high blood sugar coupled with the anxiety from being ignored I tap her on the shoulder again Express the urgency and she again she said sure and radio is another TSA agent over to swab the pump another couple minutes go by and no other TSA agent is responding and she is going on her merry way scanning other people through the machine here is where I screwed up I was so paranoid and out of it from my high blood sugar and lack of insulin that I grabbed the pump out of the ball attached it to my body and went to my gate about 45 minutes later three TSA agents came to my gates took me back to the scanning area and interrogated me I was fully cooperative apologetic explained the medical condition etc after I explained everything they were very nice and apologetic to me - but they said they had to fill out an incident reports photographed my license the pump me etc said I would be getting a letter in the mail probably a warning and not to stress about it fast forward a week later and I get an official letter from the TSA in the mail saying I need to provide my side of the story stating that I was in violation of title 49 Code of Federal Regulations CFR 154 are blah blah which is subject to a fine of up to 13,000 and $66 per violation the letter does not provide the actual language of the above regulation nor an assertion of how I violated the regulation they stated I have 20 days to provide my defense in writing with any information that I wish to be considered in their investigation a few questions should I consult an attorney and have them help me draft my response to if nots how should i word my response I can't refute leaving the TSA area with my pump which I admit was stupid it was caught on camera 3 will my medical issues provide them with enough mitigating circumstances to drop the case against me I'm thinking right now about explaining why I acted the way I did and ignoring the fact I walked away like an idiot's thanks in advance for any help $13,000 is a crapload of money but I face jail time if I cannot pay I was an idiot's but felt under duress due to my medical condition and the TSA negligently withholding my medication one yes you should have an attorney assist in this to use assistance of one make sure to inquire if having a statement from your PCP or pump manufacturer would assist your case 3 I am NOT a doctor but consequences of high blood sugar possibly be a mitigating factor in your decision making process thanks for the response 1:10 for I will be getting right on that thank you sir I have the manual from the pump manufacturer which states this and will provide 2 number 1 3 absolutely without a doubt is just stating this sufficient or do I need to provide proof the proof is pretty much the experience of people that have this disease I'm guessing an attorney can help me with documenting this legally I think a statement from your endocrinologist or PCP would be more useful than a letter of the manufacturer in this case the manufacturer had developed this device because it was easier for diabetics in general to take a dose of insulin than injecting with a hypodermic needle every time your doctor on the other hand is experienced with you and your disease history my patient reports having a bloodless sugar level of X prior to entering the security line he needed to take a dose of insulin within Y minutes waiting for a dollar sign time you were required to waits could have resulted in dollar sign condition a condition B and condition C in addition to having your attorney refute the charges I would suggest demanding an apology for both the ridiculous amount of time you were asked to wait for and for the danger that they put you in they could have returned your pump and required you to continue to wait your pump could have been removed against for swabbing when an agent became available they were very cavalier about what was rapidly escalating toward an emergency would they have kept a person with a prosthetic leg hopping around on the other for all that time agree with your first points however with the 20 day window I received a letter on Friday so now I guess it's an 18 day window I seriously doubt I can get anything from my endocrinologist in time to send lots of red tape in his office and it's a pee ITA to get him to respond to anything to your second points thank you I was thinking this to myself but did not want to seem unreasonable so I never brought it up in my RP I absolutely think I am owed an apology or at least should go that route in my response at the very least have my attorney turned the tables on them a bit very good analogy with the prosthetic leg example thanks again and now update find thirteen thousand and sixty six dollars from the TSA for grabbing my insulin pump first I'd like to thank you all for the advice and supportive messages you've all sent me since I made this post I reached out to a lawyer who drafted me a response free of charge to send back to the TSA I questioned his verbiage as it looked to me like I was apologizing for everything and admitting guilt he responded saying that yes you are apologizing and asking for a warning instead of a fine but no way in the email are you admitting guilt he further stated that this is the best course of action for now and that he was 99% sure they would just drop it and just give me a warning but should they come back with an actual fine to contact him back for official representation I received the response today and they gave me a warning no fine I am so incredibly relieved I know a lot of you encouraged me to sue the TSA in whatnots but I am overjoyed that this is finally behind me I did have some definite fault in what transpired and I won't make that mistake again I do think that there was some significant negligence in the TSA spied that I could have taken some action on but frankly I'm glad it didn't come to that thank you all again emily has obtained a personal video of me and is showing it to others so a year ago I had a brief casual relationship with a co-worker since then I've been promoted and now managed a team of up to 40 people including a woman who was currently dating my ex-partner this.x against my wishes had apparently kept videos of me on his phone editing to clarify explicit pornographic videos I was aware of their existence but had been requested that they be deleted last week this woman found one of the videos sent it to herself and is now showing it to people that I work with and manage she is also lying about to when this all occurred saying that it was recent obviously I made a big mistake in my choice of partner shaming isn't necessary or welcome I promise you I'm shaming myself plenty I had a strict no photos policy prior to this and allowed the videos to be taken because I was pressured that's neither here nor there at this point I'm in New York City is there anything I can do from a legal perspective does this count as slander and revenge porn my job doesn't have any policies against employee relations so I'm protected on that side of it I just want this to end now report this to HR immediately if they do not respond immediately then it is a clear violation of sexual harassment regulations in your state what she is doing is grounds for immediate termination it is not only harmful to you but also harmful to your entire organization there is nothing about engaging in intimate acts with a formal loved one that is to be ashamed of it is a natural event in a universal human experience any adult with half a brain understands this and I imagine your HR department does as well embarrassing as this is for you HR is likely trained to deal with these issues she is the problem not you on the other hand maliciously distributing a video of said acts without your consent is something to be ashamed of I encourage you to take full advantage of all available for recourse further you can report this as harassment to your local police department and if said harassment continues it can be grounds for a protective order this issue need not specifically fall under revenge porn laws there are other avenues of recourse available as well as assign points your ex is a turd and this woman is out of her mind you would have to be explicitly open yourself up to potential termination by doing something so asinine edits with regard to your post about the broken phone if the video was ever transmitted via cellular or Wi-Fi the evidence will be available for at least 90 days it can still be traceable beyond 90 days but generally the sooner the service provider gets a subpoena the better the chance you will have to recover this evidence thank you thank you for this helpful and reassuring advice I'm writing an email to HR now to set up a meeting for Monday morning I'm embarrassed mostly because the people involved and not the most savory of characters I was in a bad place mentally when that relationship happened and allowed myself to be pressured into things that I wasn't comfortable with and wouldn't put up with when in my right mind I got myself some good therapy and he was the first thing to go as I recovered I was hoping to just put it all behind me but poor choices have consequences I guess before I knew she had the video I was empathizing with her it's really a crap thing to find out your partner is keeping videos of exes and isn't honest about who he's been with but having the video and showing it to people who work for me is way beyond what I can stand for it's bringing me back to that dark place that I worked so hard to come out of and that's the worst part of it for me ah sorry for the venting this is weighing heavy RP just to reiterate you did nothing wrong your ex and new woman have done and are doing everything wrong don't feel ashamed at all this is solely on them also just an additional question are there any people that she's shown in the video or videos to that would be willing to serve as a witness for you it's not necessary but it's helpful in building a case for HR they didn't respond to that question damnit Opie and there's an edit in the post I appreciate the support of comments makes me feel much better as I'm making enquiries now it seems she's figured out that distributing the video wasn't a very bad choice she's got a friend circling the wagons and telling me that the video was never shown to anyone and she never had it I know for a fact that this is a lie but it complicates things apparently she even broke her phone and got a new one I've talked to my boss who is also a good friend we all work on Saturdays which is why I'm dealing with it today and we're trying to figure out options to move forward edit - I called my director who has been my mentor since I started here three years ago I knew he'd been told about the situation and was dreading the call but he was kind and supportive in every way he actually took this decision completely out of my hands and will be contacting HR Intel VP on my behalf he's also reassured me that he doesn't judge no one else will judge and that they'll take care of me he also gave advice as far as pressing charges I guess even her sending it to her phone from his is illegal even if she never showed it to anyone I feel so much better thank you thank you thank you all for the kindness and supports which are ultimately what made me feel okay about speaking to my director and now update an employee has obtained a personal video of me and is showing it to others since my last post gained some attention I'm posting an update after I submitted the post on Saturday I called my director he has been my mentor and a trusted friend since I started in the company three years ago and was already aware that the relationship between myself and my ex was a thing that happened I've been told that my employee had gone directly to him I'm assuming to smear me sir I knew I had to speak to him about it directly I was expecting an i-told-you-so type conversation but he was kind understanding and completely non-judgmental he told me he doesn't look at me any differently and no one else does either true matters he also made my decision about whether or not to go to HR much easier since he's a director and she brought it to him he was obligated to report it's this was basically the best case in are you for me I'd had several of her friends come to me and asked me not to go to HR and to let her work it out of her system now I can say that the decision to bring it to them was completely out of my hands I got a phone call from HR this morning asking me to report immediately to them I asked him if I could go to my building first to clock in and change and they told me nope ASAP I sat down with them and they were also totally kind and completely non-judgmental and supportive they got the full story the names of everyone involved and asked a lot of questions they also confirmed what commenters of my last post told me that I'd done nothing wrong and did nothing to be ashamed of they even told me that they will do whatever they can to protect my reputation as the investigation moves forward from what I've heard both the a VP and the director of HR have dedicated their entire day-to-day to interviews with people so I feel confident that this is being handled as it should they called her the in this afternoon to get her story and suspended her with pay pending the investigation as an aside as my manager drove her to the corporate office for the meeting she told him how she's the real victim here the mental gymnastics just totally baffles me I have been advised to document everything including any interactions with her friends in case there is any hostile workplace environmental concerns Jesus that is an entire bag of worms is it not all right now a next post is by user Val at the West titled I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like suicide best of legal advice posted now for some backgrounds I live in w way and my mother and grandmother live in New Jersey my grandmother is 82 diabetic mostly blind has anxiety and needs help with some daily tasks like shopping hygiene etc but otherwise is doing fairly well considering she had surgery about a week and a half ago to have a toe amputated which is when this whole fiasco started my mother is mentally ill and refuses to seek treatment for it and has a long history of abusing other people and/or overlooking abuse of others for her own that is to say that her killing her own mother definitely would be something in the realm of possibilities for her she also has about 15 years of experience in the medical field EMS so she knows a thing or two since my grandmother's surgery my mother has been really playing up the fact that my grandmother is depressed she's always been the alarmist type sir I just brushed it off but the way she spoke about her was as though she was insisting she thought my grandmother was going to pass soon at some point during this time my aunt tried to call my grandmother to see how her recovery was going but my mom answered grandmother was napping went off on my aunt and to my understanding lied and said that my grandmother couldn't talk because something had happened during surgery and now she needed a speech therapist I spoke to my grandmother on Sunday and there was no difference in her speech so clearly the speech therapist was BS my grandmother also expressed that she feels great that her leg gets sore occasionally but they put a salvo knits and the soreness goes away and otherwise she's healing and recovering well isn't on any pain medications or antibiotics and her foot looks good I know that she's my grandmother and doesn't like for me to worry but all of this does align with my mother's updates except that my mother and keeps insisting upon the depression today my mom messaged me again insisting that my grandmother is depressed she's having a hard time recovering etc and telling me that she spoke with a social worker who was helping her take the necessary steps to become her paid caretaker she's also stated that she's taking POA for my grandmother's medical care and affairs quotation marks that they're putting together a living will a will and making funeral arrangements for my grandmother's cremation she says that my grandmother insists we use the cheapest funeral home we can find I believe this is true and that she wants us to use her life insurance to pay the cremation costs and split the remainder between my mother myself and one of my brothers I suspect this is a lie the problem is my brother and I are the only beneficiaries on my grandmother's life insurance which is where the power of attorney comes in I knew my mum was going to try to weasel her way into the life insurance somehow and now I know how she's going to do it several hours after this conversation it dawned on me I believe she's planning to save up money for a while and kill my grandmother making it look like a suicide and have everything left to her I plan on talking to my uncle and explaining my suspicions to him as well as trying to get in touch with the social worker but I was wondering what other steps I can try to take to prevent this from happening can I request that a social worker check in on my grandmother and speak to her privately on a regular basis can I demand an autopsy upon her death under suspicion of foul play even if it goes against my grandmother's final wishes is there a way that I can get the police involved to stop the cremation from happening before I'm able to get an autopsy performed what steps could my uncle take to prevent my mother from gaining power of attorney and putting herself on my grandmother's life insurance any and all advice is welcome as I truly don't know what to do in this situation just a note I can't give up other than my mom is out of the question there's no way my mother would allow it and my grandmother would vouch for my mother because my mother is the only person she's comfortable with taking care of her due to her anxiety call Adult Protective Services I don't think they can do anything because my mother hasn't done anything to raise suspicion at this point would calling at least put her on the radar for the future editor and I want to emphasize that at this point my mother is taking very good care of my grandmother I don't think she's planning on enacting anything until after I visit in April so I'm afraid of calling prematurely and having a false flags for her to leverage in her favor for the future they'll probably investigate it your mum may also need Adult Protective Services it won't hurt in any case would she be able to use that as leverage of the future they're like oh we've had people calling us before so it's clearly BS she's seriously the most cunning person that I know she once went to voluntary inpatient when she was stuck in Florida and somehow managed to get them to pay for a bus ticket for her to New Jersey because no one in my family would pay for her it's possible if that there were multiple calls without grounding that it could be ignored in the future but that should not stall you from calling under these circumstances the bus ticket is very standard for people released from psychiatric care it's called busing and they often use it to get patients out of estates and off their Medicaid I'll give them a call but she already has a social worker whom I'm also going to contact so I don't know if ApS would actually investigate like you said it couldn't hurt there and at least she'll be on their radar thank you Swedish punch says besides calling ApS call the cops and report that your mother says grandma is suicidal I'm pretty sure that they will have to make a welfare check if mom realizes that she is on the radar of law enforcement and social agencies this may deter her if your uncle is as alarmed as you are he should talk to an attorney and find out what the options are for Grandma it sounds like she would be better off away from your mother that's where things are complicated my mom hasn't actually said that she's suicidal just that she's having a hard time discussing talking to a therapist which i think is a good idea regardless and that she's getting ready as in to pass away these are things that might not sound weird to outsiders and may even seem like she's being attentive but knowing her the way I do those statements are really alarming because it seems to me like she's trying to play up my grandmother being depressed and ready to die without actually saying that she's suicidal since I'm getting downloaded for asking about child protective services I want to clarify that I'm not intending to be argumentative I'm just trying to avoid my mom being able to use false reports to her advantage after all if she is doing what I think she is my grandmother's life depends on being able to have the proper authorities on our side that said what could be the best point to call to have a welfare check done should I wait until my mom actually clearly hints that she's suicidal and not just ready to die I agree that her being on anyone's radar might deter her I just don't know when to get people involved since I think she's in it for the long con so to speak he'll definitely be alarmed so I'll advise him to get we're involved thank you not a lawyer but practical advice it may be that you would have to wait until your mother actually says that she is suicidal before you call the cops an attorney could advise you on that perhaps you should call your grandma's doctor and the social worker at the hospital with your concerns even if they can't tell you anything according to HIPPA you can still tell them about the situation assuming the grandma will have periodic checkups post-surgery the doctor may be able to make an assessment of her mental state since you were genuinely concerned get as many people looking into the situation as possible hoping that it will - tell your mother from harming grandma or trying to steal from the estate's that was more or less my plan with the social worker but I hadn't considered talking to her doctor ah thank you the more eyes and ears the better and last one conservator that would mean that in the event of your grandmother's death your uncle or you would proceed with final wishes and but considered a primary party this is also usually comes with a boilerplate power of attorney at least the ones I have seen have you should also have a will made with some more specific language as to what happens with the life insurance I will say in many cases that I've seen as a legal assistant mind you conservatives have some power especially if and when you ask for police to open an investigation consequently if your mom has a diagnosed mental illness you can have her declared unfit and have an order created to get the insurance in the form of trust with terms either spelled out by a will or the conservator this would also stop your mother from ever being able to be assigned power of attorney over anyone that said this will likely trash your relationship with your mother thank you so much for this information I'll discuss with my uncle him becoming conservator in addition to fighting for power of attorney she has been formally diagnosed so I will ask the social worker how that would work in terms of keeping her from getting power of attorney thank you again all right and now on to our update from I think my mom is going to try to kill my grandmother and make it look like a suicide I wanted to thank the art / legal advice community and give an update to my original post from about four months ago for privacy purposes as this is an ongoing situation this post will be fairly short and vague last month my grandmother was admitted to the ICU in respiratory failure she pulled through but with the help of my aunts uncles and cousins we determined with evidence that my mom has been both neglecting my grandmother's medical needs and drugging my grandmother without her knowledge although she wouldn't outright say it to me it turns out that my mother had been insisting it to my cousin's that my grandmother was suicidal and even tried to keep pushing the she wants to kill herself narrative while my grandmother was hospitalized we believe that she may have even attempted to OD my grandmother at the hospital but that her plan was thwarted by ever-present relatives as an aside we did alert the hospital of the situation and unfortunately we're told that they couldn't do anything because it's a family matter everything is now in the hands of my auntie who's working with a lawyer to address the situation in the least stressful way for my grandmother thank you all for your advice and support on my last post and I'm so glad that my grandmother is still with us I truly believed that this situation would only end in tragedy but it seems fate had different plans my grandmother is still in care of my mother for the moments with relatives checking in daily and while my mother is not yet aware that my family knows of everything she's been doing she does at least know that her siblings are seeking to change the power of attorney and insurance benefits out of her name and has since completely changed her tune about my grandmother's mental health otherwise my grandmother is Herman doing well and is under the close eye of her children doctors and social workers while my family works out where to go from here thank you all again alright I hope you guys all enjoyed that story we're on to our last one today by user comedy legal advice titled abusive ex-boyfriend is threatening to sue over a joke I told about him at an open mic in California so a few years ago I was in an extremely abusive relationship I am NOT a professional comedian I don't make money from this sometimes they get free drinks or something and I have a day job that I'm not looking to quit this is just a hobby I go to open mic nights and tell jokes for fun it's time to explain this joke exactly without totally identifying myself which I don't want to do but it's a pretty dark story about this screwed up thing my ex did to me once although it's not a funny situation the way I tell it is pretty funny and it gets a big laugh I do not use his name or any identifying information about him at any points we live in a very large city it's not like everyone automatically knows who I'm talking about I'm not famous or anything anyway an acquaintance of mine recorded me telling this joke and put it on snapchat and she apparently also knows him his acquaintances did not send it to him directly or anything and didn't even know he was the person I was talking about or that he and I knew each other total coincidence he saw it on snapchat and sent her a lot of messages demanding to know where this was and what else I said about him she told him the bar we were at first but he kept pressing for more details and made her uncomfortable so she blocked him and let me know what happens and apologized profusely for letting him know what bar we go there alights but she didn't know better I'm not mad my ex DM me on Twitter which is the only form of contacting me I didn't have him blocked on and told me he was going to sue me for defamation because I am telling lies about him and committing character assassination he also sent me a cease and desist letter attached to my DMS as a photo that restated his intent to sue and compensate for the damages done to his reputation can he do this first of all they are not lies this is a true story about a horrible thing that actually happened but more importantly I don't use his name nobody knew it was about him until he freaked out and told someone what do I do also can I keep telling jokes about him you're good I would add this into your news sense huh I'll probably get there eventually but it's just stressful right now I can't even imagine finding any humor in it I felt that way about most of my personal stories at the time there I'll think it's funny once I get through this you shouldn't feel stressed at all about this he literally doesn't know about what he's talking about even if you used his name in your jokes it's not libel or slander if it's true and by not mentioning his name at all he literally has nothing to stand on adding his legal threat to your repertoire of jokes is poetic if he finds a new way to contact you add those to your jokes - also I feel like if he actually Sue's he's proving that she's not lying because if someone makes a joke about sir hey I used to have an X that would beat the crap out of me especially without mentioning names and an ex steps forward and goes hey that's me ah that's terrible I shouldn't laugh about that but it's comedy come on it's funny anyway the boy is not quite right in the highly unlikely event that he would a file suit your attorney will ask him why do you think that when the public hears the story of despicable screwed up action without your name being mentioned your identity immediately leaps to the forefront of the public's mind and that will likely be the end of things in the unlikely event that hero to sue check with your homeowner or renters insurance there's a thin possibility that they might provide a lawyer at their expense that's good to hear and a good tip thank you if he ever sends you anything he claims is from his lawyer give their office a call and make sure it's real it's pretty common for guys like this to forge some legal letterhead to scare people and lawyers will absolutely hate that and will scare him right back if he does actually search the legal firm on Google then call the number that Google gives you and to summarize all this truth is an absolute defense to defamation claims furthermore if he is not identified or identifiable from what you say his reputation on damage doesn't exist can you send you a cease and desist yes can you ignore it yes can he sue you yes can he win no it would be extremely unlikely that he would win and now with that said we're on to our update edits I appreciate all the kind and help for PMS and I will continue to appreciate and respond to those but I will not be responding to all the messages asking to hear the joke or other questions about my life and comedy in general sorry privacy thanks to everyone for the advice quite a bit has happened since my first post I could own him and continue doing what I was doing then a few days after I posted he showed up at the bar while I wasn't there and asked around for me they said he seemed drunk which is unfortunate as he allegedly got sober after our breakup they told him to screw off and called me to warn me before I could even react to that he contacted several people at my work via social media including one person very high up in upper management who barely knows who I am he sent them all the same open are saying that he was trying to reach out to me and asked for my phone number or email and saying that it was urgent two of my colleagues responded to this message that I know of both said something to the effect that they wouldn't be able to share my info but they let me know that he asked he then began threatening them with warning them about me and telling them very sexually explicit things about me and asking if they were sure I was the type of person they wanted to work with I was really really trying to avoid asking anyone at work for help even though I knew they would be nice about it I didn't want to be the person that drags their drama into the office but my ex did it for me so I decided it couldn't hurt at this point to consult with a friendly co-worker in legal to see what she thinks she walked me through getting a restraining order and put me in touch with an attorney that practices in this area if I end up needing it I really hope not too so literally two days after the trro was granted and he had been served he showed up at the bar again drunk again and this time I was there it was honestly really surreal seeing him they kicked him out but he loitered outside and refused to leave and the bartender in my friends and some random strangers were all guarding the door it was quite the debacle we called the cops and he was arrested so I think I'm in the clear fin hell although I know he's willing to break the law so I'm not incredibly comfortable I put up cameras in my apartments my friends are walking me out the car every nights I used to walk alone it's a safe enough area that it was never concerned before my employer and colleagues are aware and supportive even though I wish I could have kept this private I'm doing what I can there wasn't a huge dramatic ending to all of this but it seems like it should be over now here's hoping thank you again for the advice and support everyone alright and that wraps up our episode today guys I hope you really enjoyed this one if you haven't seen my latest community post my friend has just started a YouTube channel doing the same kind of content as me and I really want to encourage you guys to go and watch his videos and support him and help him check growers channel his channel is called story hawk and there's a link to it in the top right of the screen and probably a box that I put on there as well I hope you guys go and just you know watch it subscribe to him help him just you know start his life on YouTube say hi to him you know I hope you guys enjoyed this one today anyway as always this has been Maki tell me what you thought about this one down in the comments as always I hope you have a good day night sleep whatever you're up to and I'll see in the next episode bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 43,468

Rating: 4.829246 out of 5

Keywords: LegalAdvice, r/legaladvice, r/legal advice, r/legal, legal advice, Markee legal, Markee, Markee Reddit, Markee Legaladvice, Reddit

Id: KZF9ygD3e9g

Length: 165min 33sec (9933 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 26 2020