r/Idontworkherelady "I'M GLAD YOUR KID IS DEAD!"

welcome to r slash i don't work here lady where an entitled karen tries to call the police on someone who works with the police our next reddit post is from wiggle it loose i'm telling you about one event but i must have a retail face because i'm approached so often i wear a suit at work when i stop in at any shop on the way home i leave my jacket in the car so i'm just wearing a shirt and tie i couldn't tell you how many times people assume i'm staff if they're civil i'm civil if they're struggling i'm helpful if they're rude i have fun the reason i remember this one is because i've said all these things separately before but this was the first time i got them all squeezed into one single interaction it just went so perfectly it'll never happen again i'd stopped at a large supermarket to pick up birthday candles i first saw the woman being very rude to another customer for no apparent reason imagine rush limbaugh in drag sorry to put that in your head she was just impatient that the other customer wasn't moving fast enough for her liking and so she was insulting her she definitely ranked above butthole so let's call her douche baguette as she turned i saw the missile lock in her eyes as she spotted me she glumped her way over i decided to enjoy it and settled on being deadpan literal i looked away excuse me why what have you done what she paused for a second looking like a dog that had been shown a card trick then angrily asked can you help me i couldn't possibly know i don't know what you want she makes a tucker carlson face where do you keep your eyelash curlers i don't keep them anywhere yes you do i've seen them before i'm certain i don't i've never owned any my my eyelashes managed to bend all on their own i'm more than happy with the bendiness of my eyelashes huh what no idiot i mean the shop where in the shop are the eyelash curlers i haven't got a clue why not i refer you to my previous answer i never used them are you trying to be stupid no it's effortless this is insane are you going to find out where the eyelash curlers are or would you prefer that i speak to your manager i'd say neither but if i had to choose i'd go for option b what you want me to speak to your manager no she shakes her head in angry confusion and says you just said you did no i didn't you asked me which i'd prefer if i was offered a rectal exam or a slap in the face i don't want either but i'd prefer the second to the first see how it works this is a phrase i use with my wife when she gives me sucky alternatives she stood in silence for a few seconds with her mouth open and the deepest frown she then built up to a shout with this is ridiculous i completely agree where is your manager i'm not exactly sure but my guess would be at home with his family you're being stupid who supervises you here in the store right now she actually stamped her foot twice when she shouted right now nobody what why not because i don't like to be supervised i haven't needed supervision in a shop since i was about nine years old oh my god it's like talking to the wall i could see that her shouting had attracted a member of management she was approaching quickly why aren't you helping me why would i i think i saw a slight hint of understanding spread across her puzzled face you do work here don't you no why didn't you effing say so you didn't ask me until now the manager arrived just as douchebag shout into my face here an effing [ __ ] the manager said ma'am please lower your voice and stop swearing there are children in this store then she said to me what's happening sir i'm not really sure this woman was being rude to another customer then she approached me and started to interrogate me about my personal grooming habits she wasn't happy with my answers and started to spit and shout at me no that's not effing true i was shouting because i thought he worked here whether he was an employee or not you can't talk like that you can't abuse customers and we have a strict policy about abuse towards staff we don't tolerate it it's not my fault he's an acting idiot if he had she was interrupted by the manager please stop shouting the manager pressed transmit on a radio and said security urgent code for aisle 14 and then she said to me are you okay sir yes i'm fine i just needed birthday candles could you tell me where they are what the effing hell is going stop shouting stop swearing if i have to warn you again you will have to leave the store and then she said to me they're on aisle 22. okay thank you i started to walk away meanwhile douche baguette was still shouting two security staff turned the corner and passed me on their way to douche baguette i could hear her shouting for another 30 seconds the next time i saw douchebag i was standing at the self-checkout she was being followed out of the store by the security staff she was complaining into her phone loudly but unclearly about the shop the staff and some epic [ __ ] as she left empty-handed do you think that [ __ ] was me i was wishing so hard for her to look left and see me but she didn't if she had shouted at me regardless of what she said i was going to raise my little box of candles and say yes thanks i found them the whole thing was so funny i almost broke and nearly started laughing when she stamped her foot in time with right now i've been mistaken for staff dozens of times but i've never had it go so perfectly probably never will don't expect a sequel our next reddit post is from sean nj a few years back i worked as a police dispatcher we were required to dress in business casual so khaki is in a button down or polo so after work one day the girlfriend and i stopped by target on the way home to grab a few things i'm wearing you guessed it a red polo with khaki pants i also have an id badge of my belt denoting communicator joe schmo police department i grabbed some olive oil and brought it to my girlfriend who told me that she bought some a few days ago so i go back to the olive oil aisle and put it back i put it back in its proper place because i'm not an inconsiderate a-hole anywho this lady comes up to me and asks where she can find some brand name dog food i just thought she was asking for my opinion so i gave her a general direction she left like five minutes later i'm looking at harry's razors and i feel someone poke me on my shoulder i turn and find the lady standing there looking displeased my dog food wasn't where you said it was well i don't know i guess i have someone who works here i am you nope don't work here i turn and look away yes you do you were stacking shelves yeah don't talk to me the lady grabbed my arm and pulls me to face her you ever get a sudden flare of anger i did this woman touched me young man i'm a customer and you had better don't you effing touch me my voice was a little raised now touch me again and you and i are gonna have a problem she was obviously taken aback she said something about me being fired and a manager and scurried away i found my girlfriend and we went to check out at this point it still hadn't really clicked that she thought i worked there i just thought she was rude we get to the self checkout and the lady this time with a target employee approaches me and my girlfriend that's him that's your stock boy who threatened me what the f i don't work here lady leave me the f alone the manager looking non-plus says you don't work here nope this chick started bothering me then grabbed me my girlfriend says he doesn't work here don't lie to me you were stocking shelves and told me where to get dog food leave me alone or we're gonna have real problems how about i call the police and tell them how you just threatened me i effing dare you and i show her my id badge let's see how that works out for you the manager takes the opportunity and just says have a nice evening and motions the woman away and she follows she just sort of gaped me and she saw that i was in fact not an employee of target but of the police department she was going to call on me not a big story with fireworks but still one to tell our next reddit post is from a long string of numbers i am so angry right now this happened nearly two years ago and i could still punch the old bat long story short i recently lost my newborn due to having underdeveloped lungs he survived for two weeks but a month ago we made the awful decision to take him off of life support obviously i'm still not okay but the one thing making everything worse was having all of his clothes and things that we had prepared for him to come home to and he wouldn't be me and my husband decided that it might make things easier to return some of the stuff and donate the return money to the hospital it's stupid but it's like at least we might be able to help someone else's kid have a fighting chance anyway we hit to one of the big department stores in a big shopping district in london the shop is known for somewhat older clientele we finished returning the stuff we had with us on the top floor and there was a cafe thing with the seating area i needed to sit down and well just pretend i wasn't there for a moment i finished getting a drink before my other half has collected his food so i had to find some seeds for us to do this i head back through the cafe opening by the clothes as i just wanted to head out after i didn't want to see any more kid stuff as i'm walking past this small stretch there's a tug on my coat i look thinking i snagged it but there's this older woman who doesn't deserve to be called a lady holding onto me i miss what she said but it's clear she said something as this woman tugs on my coat pulling me towards her like seriously pulling me an inch from this shriveled up old mustached rotted teeth smelling face i try to get away and ask her what she wants at the same time this is what was said next and i can remember most of it because it made me want to kill her i said where are the small dresses i'm sorry i don't know please let me go now i have to go i asked you a simple question young lady don't be rude all of this was said with the smell hitting me full in the face from her mouth let my coat go i just need to know where the dresses for age six are i don't effing no now let me go i pulled my coat out of her hand and i just really wanted to sit down now how could you you should respect me as an elder who raised you at this point i'm walking off i don't care about this deluded old woman i need to sit the hell down my body isn't completely back to being able to fully stand for a long time so i needed a seat i sat down with my husband for what must have been a good 20 minutes i told him what the shouting he said that he heard was about and said it was nothing then i hear a commotion and this old bat looks like a bull charging at me making her way through the tables to where we are she throws a little dress onto the table and into my husband's food and points at it this is what i was looking for do you see do you see now this little one is a dress you put granddaughters in it this was all i wanted and it wasn't too hard for you to get it for me my husband says whoa back up why should she get it for you she works here or are you a fool too i don't work here take that thing and just leave us the hell alone i'd pushed her dress off the table and onto the floor at this point she works here she's wearing the colors it's true the coat i was wearing was near the green of the store but it was a coat a full coat and you can see it's a coat she doesn't work here just go away well that's obvious now i should have seen it before it's obvious she couldn't tell what a child's clothes are from a badger i do admit writing it now that i lost it a bit but i had all of my son's clothes picked out for months i did everything with that i loved doing it i had just returned the outfit that we had bought for him to come home in if we had been returning anything else i admittedly probably would have been okay but she just said the wrong thing at the wrong time i flipped a little i started screaming crying and shouting for whoever was poor enough to hear my voice telling her what we had just did and how she was lucky to have a child let alone a grandchild to shop for it was just word vomit my husband finally calmed me down enough until i was just sobbing but give that old bat her do she just stood there and stood through everything i said and listened to it all after a moment she opened her vile mouth and said to us maybe it's better that way for people like you how my husband managed to keep me from hitting her and not hitting her himself i don't know by this time there was a crowd and i could see random people just standing there and there was also staff i wasn't sure what they did or said but that old bat went off with them two of the staff stayed behind with us and partly apologized i can't remember what he said but i heard sorry i just wanted to get out of there at that point i hope that old woman ends up in the ground soon and painfully so op i'm impressed that both you and your husband were able to keep your cool relatively speaking and not assault that lady after she said that because i think most people probably would have resorted to violence there our next reddit post is from the good life pf i don't know if this goes here but i don't know where it goes and i wanted to rant there was a girl in my high school that was gay and had parents that were very against the idea of being so i basically agreed to be her beard for two years in high school because they often pressured her into getting one and asked if she was gay beforehand we'd kissed in pictures on an account she used that her siblings saw and other people had found it knew the story of why we did what we did fast track to about a week ago and i ran into someone who knew me but i didn't know them from high school at a party and they said they wanted to seem successful with a boyfriend that was doing well and it was okay looking the dialogue is roughly as follows so could you come to a dinner for christmas with me and seem super into me um that's weird and i don't know you that well well you did it for that other girl and took the money so why not me am i not pretty enough to fake dates well i wasn't paid to do that it was a favor and once again i don't know you and don't want to spend my christmas faking being intertwined into another family dynamic so i'm not pretty enough or you assume i don't have enough money at this point several of her friends are saying if i'm already a prostitute then why not do it unless i think she's too ugly or something i say i think this is a gross exaggeration of what it was i'm not a gigolo and i don't do anything like this for money they start saying that they'll pull a fund together for this and i assume this is some kind of drunk chick thing and walk away i'm later asked to leave for calling them ugly i didn't and i'm called a butthole by an assortment of women on the way out was there a better way to handle this or are drunk people just looking for a reason to be mad i love this response from right lightning road take the money and then hire a loser to show up for the party then text her that you're a pimp and not a hoe that was rslash i don't work here lady and if you like this content then check out my patreon where i publish extra videos also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 736,740

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, funniest posts, funny, comedy, funniest reddit posts, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, idontworkherelady, i dont work here lady, r/idontworkherelady, idontworkhere, i dont work here

Id: Ssa155GczxE

Length: 16min 5sec (965 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 25 2020