r/Facepalm | don't click this

when i saw you i was taken a bath you what i was taking a bath when i first saw you like i was stunned by your beauty do you mean taken aback yeah [Music] how's it going ladies and gentlemen welcome back to mk i'm your host robin and today we're going to be taking a look at our slash face bomb my mom's favorite subreddit because i'm stupid see the joke is she's always face bombing because i'm stupid you get it let's get right into it amazon didn't even really try with this one [Laughter] they literally never do they want you to be a slave to the corporate entity blank state offices will be closed thursday november 25th for thanksgiving and friday november 26th for american indian heritage day this is america and we should only be celebrating american holidays thanksgiving is an american holiday and that's fine but indian heritage day is not an american holiday and we shouldn't okay wow i'm not gonna finish that one i'm sorry that is sad well there it is a gas generator being used to charge the dead battery in an electric car my day is complete where do you think electricity comes from i mean it's not obviously coming straight from gas and generators but i i do wonder jake paul is a better boxer than muhammad ali don't get me wrong ali has obviously had a better career and is one of the greatest of all time but in terms of individual quality jake paul is the better boxer right people can only say this because muhammad ali died the side saying if you don't like satan's shoes don't buy them is the same side that boycotts chick-fil-a for being christian just don't eat there yes that literally is what boycott means please join us next week on explaining words to kevin sorbo 2000 go to college or you'll be flipping burgers 2008 what do you mean you can't find a job is flipping burgers too good for you 2016 you want 15 an hour for flippin burgers millennials are so entitled 2021 why does no one want to flip burgers anymore fine dad you win where to buy chicken casserole supplies dad this is facebook not google try again where to buy chicken casserole supplies dad no where to buy chicken supplies for casserole chicken supply casseroles are you serious chicken casserole supply store fiesta mart looks like dad got you again how big are deer adult deer are as tall as a bicycle they weigh as much as 800 hamburgers there sure is a lot of hamburgers it sounds like dinner to me i'm sorry rest of the world the usa has not ever committed a single war crime okay america did nothing wrong what war crimes did america do just asking america has never committed a war crime ever ha wait a minute that mofo got oh no he doesn't it's just someone else entirely woman charged 11 for crying during surgery in u.s hospital check out the viral post brief emotion well eleven dollars i mean that's cheaper than i've been charged at my uh previous day jobs the thing about paternity leave is there isn't much for dad to do when the baby is a newborn especially if mom is breastfeeding his main role is to take care of mom as she recovers but of course that doesn't apply to so i'm not sure why he needs paternity leave at all you really wanted to be a 40 year old back in the 50s didn't you buddy tell me you're a completely useless father without telling me you're a completely useless father no no he explicitly told us he was a completely useless father when gravity proves itself wrong if the earth was a globe water flows to the lowest point woman who married herself is now divorcing herself after meeting someone else holy crap i cannot wait for this episode of inside job season 2. pastor says jesus hasn't returned because people haven't donated enough cash well people like this guy are [ __ ] demons so it doesn't surprise me that they say [ __ ] like this can anyone please help i've looked now for three days and can't find a shop that sells a right hand side plug thingy please help no no i'm not gonna help you why are you littering i'm a jerk i don't care about natural areas mommy still cleans up after me or all of the above duke energy fined 102 million dollars for polluting rivers with coal ash well duke energy what do you have to say north korea reportedly bans leather coats to stop people from stealing kim jong-un's style right took a photo of the only other dude in the theater forgot my flash was on well you guys have got to be best friends now right that's kind of awful thank you for that information we apologize but upon reviewing your location you're in northern ireland rugby autumn nation's cup coverage is exclusively available to prime members based in the uk we don't have the rights to other territories oof hey look it's fahrenheit 451. new cover for fahrenheit 451 by ray bradbury the spine is screen printed with a matchbook striking paper surface so the book itself can be burned who the [ __ ] burn a book have you read fahrenheit 451 does anyone else just crave the wafer of a kitkat and wash the chocolate off what the [ __ ] did i do i think you're asking dumbass questions i wish we could use laughing emojis in real life or you could just laugh client do you do lemonade me do we do lemonade yes i was told you do that here i'm sorry this is a graphics and print shop i know that i'm not an idiot i'm sorry i didn't mean to look if you can't lemonade these papers for me then i'll go somewhere else do you mean laminate a drunk girl at this party asked me so like what's your backstory i said scoliosis and she said with complete sincerity that's crazy i'm a libra oh boy it's grinchtopia dear vegans i killed this cow because it was eating your food you're welcome so basically mcdonald's new ads are just showing what will happen to your heart if you keep eating their food great advertising grab them at crash cart because you're about to make code hashtag mcfarcion that is actually pretty gross ex-mortgage ceo sentenced to prison for 3 billion fraud 40 months homeless man gets 15 years for stealing a hundred dollars i'd love to see pictures of both of them so we can compare we need to go back to throwing all heathens with these false scientific ideas in jail science is a scourge to facts science is literally the pursuit of facts science says the moon is made out of rock you know any rocks that glow yes but that's irrelevant in that the moon does not glow in the strict sense of the term it reflects light from the sun wrong again oh today's visit reason for visit nausea diagnosis nauseous that'll be three thousand dollars i just pissed off a tsa chick because i was taking off all of my metal stuff so my belt my two cuffs my waist chain my necklace my boots my jacket and the tsa girl just goes wow kid you have quite a bit of metal stuff and i looked at this straight in the face and said i'm more metal than you will ever begin to understand you nerd and then everybody clapped this is not a crime or traffic but a beware post this is on a main walking riding trail in a puddle at the corner of vine in kgb whoa it's a bear trap that will hurt someone if they don't see it if it rains more it'll be covered up in the puddle my daughter and her friend came upon it while riding they were not positive what it was so they threw a rock in it causing it to open all right here's the schedule hey i think you have the wrong number then what's your number because i have this that's my number okay then why'd you say i have the wrong number because i'm not the person you're trying to text jesus i thrust in you i don't think jesus said so i don't think he said yes pants were invented for men not women it's impossible for a woman to wear pants without sexualizing her body since they highlight her legs curves in rear end women who want to be modest should not own pants at all yet another guy that wishes he grew up in the 50s grow the hell up and die in the 2050s like you were destined to yeshua lord wait i think by accident i took your phone with me what i i don't know i took it out of your hand i think i still have it i'm searching my bag hold on jen yes i'm texting you wait oh my god i'm so dumb i can't dating tip if a guy tells you he's not very political he's conservative but has learned that that won't get him laid can you take a picture of the pumpkin can i'm going to winco for ingredients for thanksgiving tonight after work i'm making pumpkin pie okay i will [ __ ] punch you in the throat i need to label with the pie recipe oh oh someone in the neighborhood facebook group my mom belongs to washed a coyote because they thought it was a dog well good for her my dad's insurance is now demanding he pay back several thousand dollars for cancer drugs they covered at the beginning of his treatment why because they didn't work and he eventually had a severe allergic reaction they're robbing a cancer patient because his meds didn't [ __ ] work oh man i have to apologize to the editor for all this cursing but some of these posts genuinely deserve it just met a high school student she has a 4.3 gpa in the state of tennessee and cannot get a full ride and in some cases even accepted to the top schools because she is white i just don't understand what our country is becoming vanderbilt's application deadline is january 1st and acceptances begin going out in march what top schools in tennessee are we talking about here candace oh she's making sh up fun fact blueberries are the only fruit named after a color star fruit ah so close that's a shade i'm looking for a woman with conservative values pro-life all that bullsh please be five foot two to five foot six 105 pounds to 115 pounds 32 b to 32 c size 12 to 16 waist and size 6 to 7 feet be fun but down to earth be manicured and pedicured and keep yourself fairly clean your attire should be 80 casual 20 formal and holy you are such a gross little neckbeard wow 156 million views and over a million likes this song must be good what are you trying to say that it's not are you trying to say that it's not good you want to square up it my cat is special i don't know if you've ever met cats before but they're all pretty damn special nobody is entitled to charge up any mobile phones or other electronic devices on these premises it is theft of electricity boss puts up note telling employees to stop charging phones as it's stealing go [ __ ] yourself i'm sorry that's really all you can be told gay people rely on straight people to produce more gay people actually doesn't work like that some of us are born like this nobody turned me into a gay person that's not the point of the meme it is it's saying that gay people only exist because they were straight and someone turned them gay as if it's a plague i'm i'm not reading the rest of this 42 million views in a day i remember when i'd be excited if a video broke 10 views i'm literally living the life 13 year old me would dream of every night and i'm super grateful nice viewbot there's only 7 million oh satire shut the [ __ ] up do not follow where the path may lead go instead where there is no path and leave a trail with all due respect this is terrible advice for trains so our cars got robbed this morning because los angeles is a crime-riddled third world [ __ ] of a city but tremendous appreciation and gratitude for the hard work wow for the lapd who not only arrested the [ __ ] but they got all of our stolen goods back dude i've lived here for 20 years you're nuts it's lovely don't leave anything valuable in it it's called living in a big city i can still be mad though right i feel so violated i cannot believe i'm reading seth rogen dunkin on casey neistat about what los angeles is like you can be mad but i guess i don't personally view my car as an extension of myself and i've never really felt violated any of the 15 or so times my car was broken into once a guy accidentally left a cool knife in my car so if it keeps happening you might get a little treat come on seth rogen totally dominated here man i mean what the actual hell am i reading this is weird also casey that's pretty rich you were living in manhattan before this grow the hell up dude big cities suck i've been a professional medium for 15 and a half years and i'm very sensitive to all the energy forces that surround us the instructors are great and the facility is clean but when i walked into the studio i was assaulted by the dark energy radiating from monica at the front desk why can't people get these reviews deleted that's sad and you're [ __ ] oh boy my wife wrote a secret book my wife's an accomplished author who also holds down a full-time job in an unrelated field mostly for the benefits we had our first child last year we agreed that she would pause her writing career something had to go with a new baby at home except it turns out she didn't pause it she got a great idea for a new novel wrote it secretly during her lunch break at work and sold it for a hundred grand i feel so many things right now it's hard to be mad at someone when they casually tell you your son's college education is now paid for and her lunch hour is technically hers to do as she wishes but she went against our deal she could have been home an hour earlier every night this year if she hadn't done this project that's not how mother lunch breaks work oh my god are you kidding me what if zelda was a woman so much fail so much hashtag facepalm matpat i don't care if it was 2013. that is the dumbest [ __ ] tweet i have ever seen in my life hey jackass we use miles per hour in this country wheels is an australian magazine we use metric measurements you're on the internet which is american therefore you can use american the best measurements actually the world wide web was first developed in i've always wondered cern or kern i really hope it's not kurd i don't blame you for not knowing that you're apparently an american you son of a [ __ ] you're right lauro whatever the last name is guest says trans people will destroy gender norms to create new species human and part machine this is the future us liberals want i say us but really i don't know where the hell i fit and i really don't give a sh of course this is the future liberals want trans-human machine robot uprising let's get it on folks mcdonald's loses european trademark battle over the big mac burger king starts trolling them yeah burger king of all companies should troll other ones in the same market the full story there's an irish restaurant chain called supermax that opened around 100 stores in ireland since 1978. recently mcdonald's decided that this small restaurant chain that hasn't even made it out of ireland needed to be taught a lesson and sued them on the basis that max infringes on the big mac brand name which is of course absolutely mind-bogglingly stupid as all [ __ ] mcdonald's ended up losing the case because of course they did they didn't have a case to begin with as a result mcdonald's lost the rights to the term big mac across the entire european union which is why burger king gets to do this with no legal repercussions good i don't know if this is still true or not or if some stupid crap happened but i hope it's still accurate today i found out my seven-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's other girlfriend as revenge for being grounded and that he never cheated on me at all we're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it well that's one hell of a situation that i'd rather not touch with even a 700 football so i'm getting the [ __ ] out of here women leaders say society stuck on seeing them through the lenses of their husbands don't identify us by our husbands says right of course women you don't need college you need faith a bible and a good good book oh can you just give me a minute why why the hell am i reading these oh i need a drink hold on okay okay i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm ready to continue i am ready to continue oh it's the last post okay i wish doctors would stop telling the lie that smoking is bad for you look at all these smokers here who are the picture of health my mom smoked until she was almost 79 and died of lung cancer which wasn't caused by her smoking ah-ha absolutely sure about that one arya no really i'm going to need a response from you random internet stranger i'm just messing just like that we've come to the end of another video ladies and gents before we get going though i'd just like to remind you that me john a mk sole proprietor and founder of mk industries is really just saying everything for the jokes that's what i'm here for if you don't get what i'm doing then i'm sorry anyway fan art mk the manga sorry let me se manga you know i'm not gonna lie i'm not gonna lie i would buy and read this maybe get slazzo to make an mk manga i don't know it's up to you not up to me always remember if you even somewhat enjoyed today's video consider dropping a like down below and if you really enjoyed today's video consider getting yourself subscribed and clicking that bell icon also hey do you want to hear or see more of yours truly well make sure to check out the links in the description below i started a new channel that i'm hoping uh well i'm hoping i could do something with in the future and i'd love to have you around and until next time i'll be seeing you

Channel: EmKay

Views: 948,011

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit stories, ask reddit, funny reddit, emkay, memes

Id: neB26yHZ78g

Length: 18min 43sec (1123 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 11 2021