Reading my own fanfiction.

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I cackle every time.

👍︎︎ 1 👤︎︎ u/alwaysafairycat 📅︎︎ Aug 07 2017 🗫︎ replies
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Hi! I'm Dave from Boyinaba- I didn't cut myself shaving. Just gonna put this here. A while ago, I did a video called "I Google Myself" in which I googled myself. And there was one part where I discovered I had fanfiction which caused a lot of people to... want me to do more. So here we are on WattPad looking up my own fanfiction. Looks like the number one is a Boyinaband x Reader followed by "Quietly Loved". That's the one that we read before. Oh, that one's been updated! Hang on, it's a 7-part story? Is this just part one? Table of contents. Oh wow! Hah! These chapters! "Somehow got hotter". "David FUCKING Brown". I really hope this doesn't become a thing. We could, uh, save the rest of this story for later as a kind of conclusion perhaps. What, have I got a cameo in a Frank? Fanfic? "Red Strip". "CatDave". "YouTube Teachers"? Jeez, how many of these are there? "Spellbook"? There's a fricken fantasy one? Do the people think that all British people have magic powers or something? Suppose it makes sense to start on the most popular and then go to the obscure weird ones that we probably shouldn't. Oh, trigger warning. It's a "let's be careful there, don't want to trigger anybody". "Also, Dave found this and I'd like to say sorry". I'll decide whether the apology is accepted in a moment. So, trigger warning, 13+ and sometimes 15+, so hide those... preteen eyes. We're going in. "The Kpop Concert". "Dave stood in line, waiting to get into the venue. He was going to see one of his favorite Kpop band" "and he was so ecxited that he was practically shaking." "A couple of people walked up to him, they were some fans of his." "Dave gave them a smile and a nod as they asked for a couple of pictures." Didn't take a picture with them though! Just "yeahhhh". "He looked pasted the group of girls and saw behind them a girl that caught his eye." "The girl had really pretty EYE COLOR eyes and HAIR COLOR hair. She was very attractive." Clearly, look at her eyes and hair! "Soon the line moved some more and Dave was inside." Wait, is that how quick? From your point of view now. This is weird for me, so for me it's like a clone of myself, which, apparently, I caught the eye of. Anyway "I stood close to my friends as we made our way inside. They were going down with me. I smiled to myself at the thought." Is this a sociopath? Is she about to shoot up the Kpop concert? "as I watched my friends disappear in the crowd. I stood near the wall, not wanting to try and make my way back over to them." "Tears filled my eyes." "No. I will not cry. I'm not a baby." "I bit down on lip as the lights dimmed and everyone started screaming." Let's assume the band has started there. "I began to feel faint. And I passed out." At a Kpop concert? Is there like an intense mosh pit going on immediately at a Kpop concert? They're usually just standing there with one of those little- Is it an "uchiwa"? It's important to establish a meeting area in case you get separated when you go to a gig. Little PSA there. "Dave was trying to push his way threw the crowd" So it was my fault? "He was about to take another step but he looked down. He saw the girl that he had seen early." "and he picked her up just as the band came out from backstage." What? It was so crushed that she passed out, however, I was strong enough to push the entire crowd back, lean over, and pick her up? Pretty accurate. "He gently laid her down on the sidewalk and took off his sweater, putting it under her head." I have Christmas sweaters! "(YourPOV)" "I turned my head to see Boyinaband. I felt heat rush to my cheeks. So much for being cool." ""Y-you didn't need to take me out here..." I told him rubbing the back of my head." ""If I didn't you would've gotten stomped on." Dave chuckled a little" Okay. So that's realistic. "Stomped on"? That's such an aggressive way to put it. "You would have gotten curb-stomped if I left you there". ""What's your name?" He asked." ""YES NO" I told him quietly." Oh, Your Name. "Your Name" "I told him quietly." "I stared at his hair. It was perfect and looked even better in person." It doesn't. I only put the effort in when I'm going on camera, sorry to ruin the illusion. Haha! ""And I'm guessing you know who I am?"" What? Why would I guess that people know who I am? Okay, so, I've got a million subscribers. There's more than 7 billion people in the world. So that's... 1 in 7000 chance of someone knowing who I am. Slightly higher percentage chance at a Kpop concert. Still not gonna be an assumption I make. ""Y-yeah.." I stuttered, a little embarrassed." It's started to feel a little bit like an anime. S-Senpai! "I slowly took his hand and he pulled me up. I stubbled a bit" SH "Dave smiled and gave me a kiss on my forehead before letting go." There are definitely people who would consider that sexual assault. This Dave is rather forward. "He headed for the door to the building. You could hear the music from outside." "He turned around as he opened the door. "I guess i'll see you around, YOUR NAME."" The way he said my name in his cute British accent almost killed me. YOUR NAME! So cute and adorable~ "but when I got in, he was no where to be found." "Sorry for any mistakes". Aw, they apologized. You can't hold them responsible anymore. Okay. Let's carry on, shall we? "Lately you had been feeling down and didn't really feel like coming out of the room at all." "Dave seemed to noticed your behavior and tried to get you to come out, but nothing seemed to work." "Instead of trying to talk to you anymore he pushed his cat into the room." You deal with it, Quistis! Hang on, what happened to the concept? So, was that just irrelevant? Is that how we met? Did we...? We're not...? "Dave poked his head into the room. "You okay?" He asked, but he already knew the real answer." Perhaps I wouldn't have said it in that way then! "You always told him everything but now you couldn't seem to tell him what was on your mind." ""You can tell me, YOUR NAME, we're best friends." "He typed in the type of music the both of you liked and found a playlist" [Nicki Minaj] "Yo. I never fucked Wayne, I never fucked Drake" [Cannibal Corpse] "Living out the days and nights in absolute-" [Panic! at the Disco] "tastes good. It must be mine" "He smiled brightly and sat back down, pulling you on to his lap and hugging you tightly." "You guys were really close." Apparently so. "You smiled a little and grabbed some of his hair" Uh- I'm pretty protective over my hair. It's pretty rare that I allow people to mess around with it. ""Suicide." You said quietly." ""Suicide?"" ""I've been suicidal....that's why I locked myself in this room so I didn't do anything stupid..."" This got intense! Suicidal tendencies. I'm not sure the best option is to lock yourself in a room for days. Probably better off googling a number for someone to talk to. "Dave knew you had some problems with depression and other metal illnesses" *inhale* "You got off his lap and crawled across the bed" "You buried your face into his chest." ""I love you" "I love you too"" "y'all met 2 seconds ago" "Yay, lazy one-shot." Okay, this wasn't to do with the Kpop one. "Cuddles and Kisses". Maybe we're getting into the juicy stuff at this point. "I was excited because tonight we were going to watch a whole bunch of cheesy dra-" Post-apocalyptic sci-fi movies. "As the film started Daves cat jumped up and started purring." "No. Shoo!" Dave said and pushed the cat off. When the cat was off he started drooling." Oh, the cat started drooling. My cat is a female. "I also thought it was cute that Daves cat drilled when he was happy." That's an interesting mental image. "Dave sighed and wrapped his arm around me. I blushed and stuffed my mouth with the hand full of popcorn." "Ah- OWM" "His lips then got closer to mine. My eyes widened as he lightly pressed his lips to mine." "I melted instantly and kissed him back, closing my eyes." Get a bit weird. "Dave wrapped his arms around me as I shifted. My hands soon found their way into his long, soft hair." "We panted softly. I gave him a small smile and snuggled into his chest." "Dave smiled and drew shapes with his finger on my back." This is weird. Feeling quite uncomfortable at this point. Funny though. "I buried my face into his chest and closed my eyes. I didn't care about the movie. Dave was much better then a movie." Damn right. Subscribe. "Sorry for why mistakes" Uh, anything a bit more- Oh, Murder! "Murder! Pt2. Trigger warning: Rape. I guess but not really." Imagine if like someone rated a film that way. "Uh, this kinda contains rape." Let's uh, let's head back. What's this? "Its a little love story with boyinaband and the reader but it does contain smut and Brendon urie" Well, we gotta click on it now. Brendon Urie. *inhale* *dreamy sigh* "You had been convincing Dave to take you to a panic! concert and he said yes after weeks of asking." "But you owe me now.." he said with a smirk on his face. You blushed thinking about what he wants from you." "All you two ever did was make out and snuggle." Haha, ooh! He might snuggle! ""REALLY!!!!OMFG! DAVE THANK YOU!" you said quiet loudly." Ooh, here's where Brendon comes in. ""Hey, how are you today beautiful?" Brendon asked. Dave catches on but doesn't say much." ""I'm doing okay, thanks." So after Brandon walked away, the concert started." "Dave and you had a good time singing along. But you soon left." Is that- Is that it? Aw, no intercourse? *snap* That's what we're all here for! Oh god, this is about the cuts. Ahhh, this is depressing. This is not where I expected this video to go. I thought this was gonna be quite lighthearted and cringey and uncomfortable and fun. But Let's see how I reacted to this self-harm. "" how long..." " couple of years maybe..."" "" why didn't you tell me I could have helped you!"" Like first of all, I don't think I'd be that aggressive in responding to this. I don't think I'd be crying or angry or anything like that. You gotta disconnect and try and be logical about why is this happening. Suggest therapy heavily. I'd try and be reassuring, but I don't think I'd be super emotional in that type of situation. Oh my god, so this is the video that I made introducing my girlfriend at this point. Alright. ""I want them to know about you! Please and I want them to know about the baby!!"" Oh god! I do not want kids. Full stop. This makes me feel very uncomfortable. ""HI, I'm Dave from boyinaband. This is my.... GIRLFRIEND !!" He did jazz hands around you." ""I know I said I wouldn't share my personal life you you guys but I guess I changed my mind."" "He looked at you as if to say 'say something'. "Hey guys I'm YOUR NAME, I'm Dave's girlfriend as you already know." ""and me and her have been dating for 4 months. Yay!" He smiled and you blushed sli-" I would not at all show someone on my channel after four months of dating. Hahahhaha. It takes years. "He smiled and you blushed slightly. "Hey can I tell them..?" Dave whispered to you. "You nodded and he bit your earlobe-" What? That's gross! Why the hell would I include that in a video? ""So now that she said yes .... she's pregnant!!"" [J.T. Sexkik] How do I know if I'M prengan? Imagine the clickbait on this. ""His smile grew. "And I can't wait to be a farther"" ""we need to think of names, YOUR NAME - we have eight months to decide..."" "you said smiling at the thought of mini versions of you and Dave running around." *cringes* All the other stuff was fine, all the uncomfortable makeouts and weird forwardness but ugh, that's where I draw the line. ""Hey babe, do you like the name... Mayu?" Oh my god. And it's like a Japanese weeby name. Give them a fricken easy-to-spell normal name. "He smiled and you two continued the video with a Q&A." This is... ...uncannily reminiscent of my content. "Then he edited and uploaded the video. You ignored the mean comments and went to bed." Time skip! "Its been about three days since the video was out, and your social media blew up. You had 3,461 followers on Twitter." That's so specific! "Dave had been making videos every week about you and the baby and all his fans were supportive." If I suddenly decided to change my channel entirely focused to my new girlfriend and the baby, somehow I don't think my audience would be supportive of that change. *cringe* I'm having a kid. That's the trigger warning. Jesus Christ. "I just wanted to say thank you, too anyone who reads this story. I do appreciate it and I would like some help writing it," Okay, how about I find myself horrified by the fact that I have an oncoming child? Have a sit-down and a serious discussion about our options. Oh man. Alright, come on. Something light-hearted. Please. Okay, so this is just before I go to America to become a teacher. "I slid to the floor against the bathroom door (bathroom adjacent to the bedroom)." Thanks for clarifying the layout of the house. "Life is pointless, I'll never be as big as PewDiePie. I got up and found my favorite razor blade." "Life is pointless, I'll never be as big as PewDiePie"? That's a reason to start self-ha- Why are all these things about self-harm? And why is this one so hilarious? "I looked down on my bloodied self and now mutilated arm and thought I should clean this up so that's exactly what I did." That's so practical! There's like no discussion of the emotional impact of self-harm, just- Oh wait, there was- the extent of that discussion was "I'll never be as big as PewDiePie"? Wow. You know, I think that's enough fanfic.
Info
Channel: Boyinaband
Views: 877,702
Rating: 4.9648771 out of 5
Keywords: boyinaband, fanfic, fanfiction, dirty, weird, cringe, old fanfiction, fan fiction, reading fan fiction, reading, trailer, comedy, vlog, humour, cute, crazy, girlfriend, baby, couple, wattpad, read
Id: t3ZCFHbSj-8
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 12min 51sec (771 seconds)
Published: Thu Mar 23 2017
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