r/CursedComments - Funny Posts V26

when i die i hope it's early in the morning so i don't have to go to work that day for no reason i hope i die early in my shift at work so my co-workers get the day off this is a co-worker we all need that is literally something you would see in sharknado a guy broke into my car in 2002 and stole a stack of cds except he left a couple which means he took the time and risked being caught to judge my taste in music and that hurt so much more than the broken window maybe he actually liked the cds he left more than the ones he took but he already had them in his collection interesting would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses oh i think one horse-sized duck that is basically a dinosaur you have chosen wrong rest in peace kenner james a skater rescuing a wild bunny from a pool luckily for the bunny half pipe is the primary prey of the tony hawk evidence of nine neanderthals found in italian cave it's crazy the youngest was 50 000 years ago with oldest 100 000 years 50k differences four times longer than civilizations or even just farming has been around crazy how long this cave was used i wonder if they knew of their ancestors and how often these reused caves had paintings changed in 5k years they are going to dig my bones up and wonder why there are two silicone bags filled with saline on top of my chest the fish after i rescue him from drowning [Music] forbidden fleshlight what are you doing stephen i'm deaf and i love this song i'm afraid to ask but what is tgoc the gospel of christ and every day we stray further away from his light and head right into the poop chute [Music] ever notice how wario is supposed to be a disgusting slob but his teeth are whiter than the line at starbucks because he chugs toothpaste and bleach finally i found a drinking buddy john melanie power bottom shizzy superpowers the power to read minds when you moan you could win a few games of poker before getting kicked out of the casino i guess ah i'm all in baby nice the beats drop harder than my bombs plump sweet and begging for cream do do they am i supposed to frick these strawberries what makes male shrexy comparison what women want in men bullet wounds are more attractive than wounds from a bike fall my schoolmates are very attractive now they should be thanking me what the frick sooner or later he just starts referring to you as homophobic slurs but in a nineties wholesome way ishrectual activity before you turn 18 important if so why you have to do it at least a millisecond before you turn 18 or your balls will freaking explode unless you're strong enough then they just enlarge big ball energy they still have a chance to explode afterwards either that or one explodes and the other gets huge like hitler criticizing bashing and making memes about xi jinping and the rest of the chinese government is not xenophobia no but it might be xenophobia yes indeed it is called college where the transitory lands of the exhausted students converge in venturing north the pilgrims discover the truth of the old words the gpa fades and the homework goes unsolved when the link of graduation is threatened the bell tolls unearthing the old lords of success from their graves wikipedia saint of knowledge caffeine sleepless legion the one-nighters and the reclusive lord of the drunk capital alcohol the giant only in truth the lords will barely do good and the unhealthy will rise nameless accursed students unfit even to be a functional part of society and so it is that the student seeketh jobs this boy was accused of being a wizard and his birth parents abandoned him on the street to die he was rescued by a danish aid worker who adopted him check out his transformation after four years idiots who wouldn't want a wizard average viewer reading out memes aloud average silent scroller who can enjoy memes in the middle of a funeral gotta put the fun in funeral somehow black don't crack i'm black and getting close to 40 and let me tell ya my black is most assuredly cracking sorry to hear nearly 40 myself and i cracked a long time ago we should start a club the crackers club oh no winning greyhound tested positive for math she's give me enough math and i could win a dog race keanu reeves in berlin for john wick 4. did he just come out of the tumble dryer i feel like this is inappropriate to say out loud but my dog just she's on the floor so i have to go clean it first shut truce between termites top and ants bottom with each side having their own line of guards i wonder who you'd have to assassinate their to starting in world war france ferdinand we sometimes have milk bag fights but the government stopped it after a tragic incident with a frozen milk bag slug beer frozen burned my food and girlfriend pregnant [Music] you just can't pull anything out in time can you tax is freaking me hard right now taxes we going public my roommate just finished writing a book on how to get money and now he needs money to publish it tell him to read the book the winner of the josh war you telling me i waited all this time just for some little shiz to win that she's killed 10 people there's a freaking cat on campus cat on campus mind your freaking business i paid my tuition well the final push for me to go about killing myself i was 200 yards away from the legend this picture launched me off into the spikes below like a catapult 200 yards is 182.88 meters european students versus american students i assume their bullet holes on the american student freedom halls who you lasting longer with one minute with mike tyson or one minute with lana rhodes i don't think i would even be able to get an erection with tyson but i'll try people who have only fans what is stopping you from upgrading to an air conditioner contrary to its name freon is expensive oh well at least your mom is free and friday night need professional mover got this sofa stuck and need a professional that knows how to fix this i'm in a bit of a pickle step couch what are you doing rare footage of edp 445 defending himself against the swat team challenge of the day name this band with four words or less the hills have eyes got gives monkeys hiv so humans won't do anything shrek shell to them humans get hiv got not our fault they have such fat cakes you have the right to remain in silent mode charging a phone why is it got to be a black ipad now that my child has proven she's from inferior stock how do i tell my wife i need a paternity test who cares who the father is you raise them they probably love you and regardless of genome they are pathetic little weaklings instead of buying a 300 dna test just build a guillotine android the world of this hell spawn kirby just swallowed you what ability did he get erectile dysfunction miking you have conquered the land what shall you name it king has a stroke sounds reasonable welcome to the land of land there will win guys a rich wind roblanta siliaga gatch ah sir how do i spell that never mind sir this is close enough if one doesn't make her laugh and giggle another man will make her cheeks clap and jiggle uncle iro fathers can be such entertaining people for example church was always a blast growing up dad would often get shiz faced before the service and become confused when the collection played came around thinking the congregation were taking bets on who would win in a bear-knuckled melee death match him or the pastor unfortunately for dad our priest was a former green berry so the fights usually ended with dad getting choked out with a customized piano wire rosary while the frenzied flock of church goers cheered in approval barking like rowdy dogs and pumping their fists like arsenio hall dab war crimes i may have opened too many windows you want solitaire crops can be hydrated through air wireless water what are your choosing life hacks if you shares in the shower and stomp it down the drain you'll save water and time almost done man this meal is going to be good wait no that's a dog exactly toddlers not babies babies don't have enough weight or age not if you use a trebuchet how do people breathe in the desert if there are no trees air is stored in the bowls you will never climb to heaven with your hands full of peen some of them have suction cups though what is this tank it's french french tank yes mortal wombat deserves better i would ironically watch the shiz out of that when a young wombat's father is killed he trains incredibly hard and is filled with rage no one is safe revenge at all costs mortal wombat i only knock up anti-vaxxers cause eight years of child support is better than 18 that joke will never get old just like the kid the worst they can say is no nope they can call you a creep and tell all their friends you're a creep so then you have no chances of dating anyone until after you graduate in two years oddly specific worryingly specific sad in general relatable suicide worthy why is it so easy to get away with murder in among us compared to real life blurs cow the original milkshake [Music] it's funny because he doesn't even have a nose so what does he need the tissues for hanging out with my family jackson galaxy cat behavior consultant dream job dream look dream name dream man he looks like an egg like you could just suck on his head and it would taste like chickaletty goodness here's a joke how many dyslexic people does it light bulb to change a take arms and shoulders knees and toes eyes and ears mouth and nose head shoulders hey macarena oh macaroni mom's spaghetti and my axe and that's how i met your mother anti-bucket list name something you will never do again go back to indiana that state is absolutely god awful i swear to god my reactions and reads in real life have increased tenfold because of this game my reads in real life ever since i started playing for honor i can always tell if my father is going for a unblockable belt attack or going to use the flying bottle feet drinking wine in the bathtub is a level of depression i hope i never eat one red liquid in the bathtub is enough chuckles i'm in danger i will crush you rick rolling is one of the most darkest technique in internet history to perform it one must sell his soul to the devil and use the mask of deception the target get filled with rage due to the betrayal but the user gets utter satisfaction every use of this technique make ricky astley our lord and savior even more strong but there is a way to avoid it if you can remember the 11 holy letters of the link you can turn the disappointment to the user instead of you charlie brown always was a savage i never thought he could stop a katana with his bare teeth though sir this is a wonders my parents in their twenties let's buy this house and have three children me in my twenties outside mexico inside mexico twitter banning the nigerian president the nigerian president banning twitter five-year-old me when my dad lets me stay up five minutes past my bedtime me my lord is that legal my dad i will make it legal when you're in the middle of a test and the teacher is explaining something to someone else athletes in their prime athletes 0.1 seconds after they retire chronic severe alcoholics looking at crack heads when the npc you really had fun playing with goes back to their generic dialogue after a quest pov you're british and you've never had an independent day because you're the reason independence days exist [Music] teacher don't write on the tables kids in the back g-spot powerpoint instagram celeb hashtag no filter the cat in the background skill based matchmaking be like floyd mayweather jr 5027 kos logan paul 0-1 when the flashlight app wants to access your call history sai i think you're the nicest guy i've ever dated i know you're not real please get out of my head his new girlfriend saying let's netflix and chill jeff bizzos suggesting prime and slime instead my work needs me i'm irreplaceable you are pirating our content telegram yes my wife cheated on me and i want to kill myself google you should never hurt yourself here are some resources where you can seek help bing here's how to tarnous and these are the quickest household toxins duck duck go doesn't it make more sense to kill her time traveler sneezes that's probably fine won't change much i'm sure the timeline bethesda bethesda uk bethesda brazil with esther and z bethesda middle east take one painkiller and pain will stop for hours take 15 painkillers and pain will stop forever doctors who did medical school via zoom be like whoa that lady swallowed a baby watching a video of animals attacking people [Music] watching a video of people attacking animals what people think australia is like crikey that's a big ant what australia is actually like how freaking do you inmate history channels after midnight the jews fear the samurai when instagram girls finally remove their filters me the three seconds of your life wasted on this meme governments i will fix the homelessness problem homeless people for the better right for the better right mate as a noun mate as a verb when you help a guy carry his bags on a plane and an hour later you receive plus 300 assist points [Music] joe biden elections pandemic bro wake up it's christmas 2010 and mom got us away when i keep getting sees on my homework and my dad wants to know why look man what more can i do would you rather frick this hoe 3 am water for the entire day as he germany creating its final weapon against the allied forces nobody japanese brewers [ __ ] whiskey from the hood me at 2am realizing that i could have phrased that thing i said three years ago slightly better you stupid piece of shoes you're a real stupid piece of shoes school security guards when the stoner kids walks in highest balls reeking of weed entry granted versus when someone's shorts are 0.01 micrometer shorter than the dress code detain call an ambulance for you right for you right when deaf people are about to rap battle white people all asians look the same white people your crush is not interested go frick yourself frick me yourself you coward the sun is shining the birds are singing and the amazon employee is peeing himself because he would be fired if he left his spot pov the perfume works as advertised kanye west getting one percent in polls in 2020 these nuts getting nine percent in 2016. look what they need to mimic a fraction of our power pov england just lost a football match me freaking my girlfriend in doggy style my dogs look what they need to do to mimic a fraction of our power when your teacher checks four games on the school computer adobe after effects adobe laurent adobe photoshop adobe premiere pro adobe illustrator millennials i hate gen z the most boomers no i hate gen z the most amateurs what was that punk gen z amateurs evolution can you give me pattern seeking brain to avoid predators yes stroking pets having shreks yeah you like that don't you mcdonald's employees waking up at 5 30 a.m to work for minimum wage after seeing a five-year-old make millions by reviewing toys on youtube it was on that day that the chef got the greatest tip of all time whoever made the food should get their ass eight that shiz was busting respectfully think advertisers think if your advert interrupts my video i'm less inclined to use your product when your bully convinces everyone you're gay so you convince everyone he's the bottom in the relationship we may have lost the battle but we will not lose the war if i go incognito you won't track me right you won't track me right time traveler sneezes the timeline [Music] when the fishing club you found it starts declaring holy wars me when i pull the straw in and out of a mcdonald's cup people who lost their job family house 15 year old girls who listen to billy eyelash look what they need to mimic a fraction of our depression dad's telling each other their jokes janitor pe teacher superhero movie is about to start audience farewell new york usa selling shreks is illegal people what if we film it and sell it and you can tax the profit usa you son of a beach i'm in i miss the internet thank you guy i'm so excited for this date i've been saving up all week girl i really don't mind splitting the bill guy yeah i'm not talking about the bill i would like to say thanks to the person who educates me school school sit the frick back down i ain't talking about you cursed or sagged me judging other people for doing the same shiz i only stopped doing recently pathetic tsa agent welcome to the us what is the reason for your trip business or pleasure me business tsa what kind of business me man of your goddamn business the illusion shooting your shot and getting rejected not shooting your shot being single a free choice selling a foot operated robot vacuum cleaner with a range of 50 meters squared stereotypical mexican construction worker drug dealer welcome to mcdonald's can i get a mcflurry me listening to my crush complain about her boyfriend me literally doing nothing my blood i said we go to d today this is how my fingers look after i put on my tight shoes smart fella farts miller tinder girl only interested in dating trillionaires zimbabwean guy me breathing for the first time lifetime breathing addiction not a meme just a reminder that this guy was killed for trying to save a kid who fell into his cage most people i want my name on a bench when i die so i'm remembered this guy dedicated to hayden case forever missed by his friends and family he's not dead yet he's just become increasingly antisocial my parents in their 30s let's buy a house me in my 30s is four day old pizza safe to eat marvel with great power comes great responsibility dc comics customers apple introducing new features android that already has the features windows that invented the features when the cat i have been feeding for years sees me i've never met this man in my life when i feed a dog once i will protect you till the day i die me around new people me when i'm comfortable with someone indian guys in bollywood movies indian guys on youtube indian guys on facebook credit card declines builder demolishes 475 000 pound home while family are on holiday over unpaid bill the last dog bender having massive balls severe testicular cancer a brief history of japan a brief history of america the first guy to go skydiving frickin worst comes to worst i commit suicide i would like to say thanks to the person that taught me history history teacher sit the frick back down i ain't talking about you oversimplified we surprise attacked the us navy at pearl harbor you sank the aircraft carriers right nobody me when at the end of my burp i feel vomit rising up my throat player unknown making a battle royale every game after that me how do i kill myself google you should get some help bing shotgun toe the face echosia america be like hashtag no new normal meanwhile in germany bittman and nate's bedekan going on dates in 2016 be like are you real well if you can't tell does it matter people like your boobs and ass not your opinions and advices instagram influences if those kids could read they'd be very upset me eat something spicy my ass six hours later when will you learn that your actions have consequences when you're about to upload a meme chasing on the cia and a red dot suddenly appears on your forehead harmless plant dust enters body allergic people's immune systems i have a belt and i'm not afraid to hang myself like the video and subscribe right now and watch my previous tank memes videos thanks

Channel: Clumsy

Views: 445,283

Keywords: memes, dank doodle memes, best memes, dank memes, memes compilation, dank memes compilation, best memes compilation, clean memes, ddm, tik tok memes, memes clean, reddit memes, pewdiepie memes, family friendly memes, funny memes

Id: qzq_ksO4S9E

Length: 25min 31sec (1531 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 15 2021