r/CursedComments · PULL THEM OUT

tell me that lady isn't pregnant whatever helps you sleep at night she isn't what is something that in your culture is normal but in another place it's a weird thing getting a sausage from a hardware shop what coco the ape who loved cats if that ape hurts the cat we gonna have a sequel to harambe oh no no one fred let's split up gang daphne and i will search the bedroom when there is welma my dude got no taste work until your bank account looks like a phone number nine dollars and eleven cents six dollars and sixty six cents brutal hippo attack caught on camera it's all fun and games until he grows up and tries it again chinese man claims he can predict a woman's future by fondling her breasts this is misinformation and this man must be punished there's nothing mystic about touching a woman's breasts to tell her future it's a well understood scientific process and i know how to do it so women please dm me so i can show you how you will die tell me why as i was swiping on tinder i saw my boyfriend can men be loyal stop asking me what i was doing on tinder too that's not the point yeah wait a second i i didn't catch that the first time hold up hold on just a second here when you touch yourself an angel dies how your child's filthy habit is destroying america and what you can do about it who's up for an angel genocide i am a 16 year old mexican teenager was murdered his friends brought his coffin to the place where he always played football and made him score one last goal i was scared for a moment when i saw the thumbnail that they were going to pull his body out of the coffin and puppet his body into scoring a goal weekend at ronaldo's i've been alive 20 years and still haven't found the right thing to say when someone knocks on the door of the public bathroom you're in want to give me a hand wanna give me a handy no my son has this app on his phone grinder i asked him about it and he said it was to memorize bible verses i love him so much my husband has it too praise jesus people who stayed up all night why it's easier to watch you when you're sleeping is purple like a dinosaur or something yeah she's pregnant with barney's successor i love you you love me i've been boning your wife secretly zuck got some ass damn i can't wait to get a vr headset and grope it in the metaverse without his consent what is the worst slash weirdest favor a friend has ever asked for you called at 2 am asking me to reach him on a well-hidden countryside road told me to bring a shovel and the biggest plastic bag i had driving a scooter while holding a shovel isn't easy also i was expecting to help burying a human corpse so i brought two bags big enough for me to fit in the idiot just drove over a chinchilla a [ __ ] chinchilla i still can't figure out where did it came from i love how you thought it was a human but you still brought the bags that's friendship right there anytime you blink everyone in a 69 centimeter range shocked themselves me walking really close to people and blinking like mad dude sex would suck i was literally about to comment that lamau beat me to it my mom's in heaven good you are [ __ ] amazing i love you all so much if any of you need to vent about anything you can vent in the comments this is a safe space for you guys if you don't feel comfy doing that my dms are open as well if needed you deserve love and kindness are you sure i watch my minecraft on a daily basis give my family back what did these two do what's stopping you from coding like this hr well five dollar shipping is a little steep so is the cliff we're gonna push you off one day jesus christ d brand uh something about moving your tongue around in the bloody missing tooth hole like when you lose a tooth we've all done this as a child don't even try to deny it it's even better when it's a little sensitive and it hurts a bit and it's a battle between pain and satisfaction that's how i felt when i flicked a lemon for the first time god damn it i came i saw i came thank you julius caesar broke up with this white girl and she took blm out her bio switching teams mid-game can we settle this once and for all what is this thing called emergency condom makes it easier to file and organize your samples i guess people out here having threesomes and i ain't even having twosomes and that's why they call you handsome i pooped quicker due to this comment thanks for the laugh and clearing me out have a nice vacation it's in england my condolences eggplant that you put mayonnaise and other liquids in interesting oh i've got my own homemade sauce that i can put in there gaming chair lightly used never sniffed my screen so fast all right austin that's that's that's great thanks for sharing the white guys crucified in front of mcdonald's they died for our chins need a man who never looked at other women national society of the blind and partially sighted in sbp bangladesh what's the dumbest thing you did as a kid wished i was an adult tried to warn you oh hey blink 182 k-way men's cameron padded jacket see how puffy that jacket is inflation how many likes for free pizza domino's twitter person how many likes until you pay your workers a living wage apocalypse is here you have to pick one baby dog food plant cola cat-tato skirt the baby it should be a good food source for a bit i thought the g-spot was where the whole gang hang out it can be humanity should settle its differences once and for all innis vs audi's open field battle slaps only i'm looking for an audi woman to be my soul mate so i can dock her belly button in mine that's it this is so cursed that it's finally time to delete the entire world wide web woman held on one million dollar bail after allegedly dressing as a nurse to steal baby from hospital she looks like amber hurt if she held in the she took on johnny's bed why did the shark eat a pineapple before attacking the sailor pineapple makes semen taste better i thought they swam around them twice before eating them humans taste better without the [ __ ] in them really gotta teach my parents how to use emojis your uncle mark died skull emoji grandma having eggplant for dinner hmm larry wasn't using his arms for that lift oh oh no this is a 23 year old girl that was caught in the volcano eruption in pompeii in 79 a.d she about to experience a whole another eruption what's her at oh no guys what what's this little dude doing on the on the chip shelf i thought my legs were a bit more crunchy than usual wait you guys actually use incognito mode to watch porn i thought it was a joke i don't want google recommending rule 34 waluigi's self-fisting scat every time i put in the letter r sauce here's 5 tick-tock dances you can do to help ukraine fight russia i don't get it i bust it down threw it back gave the boys what they're looking for got them pleading for more and am now certifiably goaded with the sauce so why are there still troops in odessa here's why the 2020 toyota subra could be better i remember the last time germany and japan collaborated and it didn't end well i got tested for a bunch of stds and they didn't get back to me for a week so i called and the woman was like okay so you got chlamydia gonorrhea syphilis hiv and you tested negative for all of them ma'am why would you say it like that congratulations you have cancer results which have come back negative you are going to die peacefully in your old age due to your spectacular health me platypuses are animals that produce both eggs and milk which makes them portable sources of omelets normal conversation my wife produces both eggs and milk and i take her everywhere great omelets you are a computer look at all your wires that's bad cable management pull them out and fix them pull them out pull them out pull them out consent is based based on respectful relationship pilled i want a goth mommy gf to consensually dominate me oo sir please i'm trying to have a conversation stop texting my gf chill bro she's dating both of us you're my boyfriend-in-law two swords one sheath the proper term is weiner cousins oh my god what the hell is that haircut i'm sorry but like you you really told that barber to freak it up fam dear lord she's part bread they're also the reason why avocados have such ginormous stones they evolve to be eaten by ground sloth and their [ __ ] is big enough to pass a whole avocado stone i mean so is mine with enough practice the problem is you can't swallow it a raccoon fits inside your anus fyi oh i'm aware what

Channel: EzPz

Views: 30,755

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, reddit best posts, reddit top posts of all time, top posts of all time, top posts, best posts, posts, reddit posts, reddit funny, r/, subreddit, top all time, reddit true stories, CursedComments

Id: rMZLEV7pqPc

Length: 8min 9sec (489 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 10 2022