r/AmITheA**Hole For Ruining A Pregnancy Announcement?

am i the [ __ ] for ruining a pregnancy announcement by telling the woman she may have taken the wrong test my husband and i 30 male 30 female recently invited eight friends for lunch and were asked if we could also include a new couple doug and sasha both in their 30s we have never met them but everyone who was invited has so we said sure at one point sasha needed to use the restroom and i told her to use the master since the other bathroom was occupied i was helping my husband finish with food when sasha came out of the master balling and holding something in her hands at first i thought she hurt herself but she said something to doug that caused him to drop to his knees cry and begin kissing her stomach all of our friends begin screaming jumping and crying it was insane finally sasha tells my husband and i that she is pregnant of course we congratulate both she and doug and gave them a bag for the test which was their request i will admit i did find it odd that she bought a pregnancy test and took it at a complete stranger's house but i did not say that once everyone sat down to wait sasha said opie i hope you don't mind that i used one of your pregnancy tests i just saw them and had to i responded confused that i don't have pregnancy tests she says yes in your drawer i asked sasha if she meant the blue box in the back of my lower left drawer that was closed she seemed to realize i was pointing out that she basically snooped and sheepishly said the box said pregnancy for pregnancy test i said sasha the brand is pregmate and those are ovulation tests i do not own pregnancy tests did you take an ovulation test doug freaked the absolute f out at me saying his wife was not an idiot and can read a box he insisted sasha get the test out and show me that i'm wrong sasha refused saying that she didn't need to prove anything to a complete stranger and insisted they leave immediately one of the couples thought doug and sasha acted ridiculous the other three couples thought that i should have pulled sasha aside to discuss my concerns and said i was an [ __ ] for saying something in front of everyone honestly the whole situation caught me off guard and everything happened so quickly the whole thing was bizarre and confusing and i just didn't have time to put the pieces together mentally before asking about the ovulation tests also i found out later through one of our friends that sasha did take an ovulation test and she is not pregnant i feel like this is on her she went snooping through your drawers and she took something that she's not supposed to way at the back of the drawers uh she knows that she's in the wrong for this situation that's why she tried to get out so fast i don't think you did anything morally questionable in this situation you literally just did what any sane person would do so i'm gonna say not the [ __ ] for you now in the comments vxgb111 says not the [ __ ] i mean who the hell goes through another person's draws and takes any kind of test it's herker muppens to have taken the wrong test and embarrassed herself serves her right the only situation i could understand is if she unexpectedly started her period and had nothing on her literally the only acceptable situation to go through a stranger's bathroom drawers this is insane to snoop through someone's stuff then take something admit to it then get mad that you took the wrong thing and throw a tantrum i'm surprised opie's friends aren't calling sasha out for snooping but calling out opie when op wanted clarification for what the hell sasha had used for her test also sasha sounds attention-seeking because she saw the box and decided to announce her pregnancy to everyone at a stranger's house who she never met hmm this pregnancy box belongs to a complete stranger whom of which i just met today i think i'll use it and if i'm pregnant i'll tell everyone at this stranger's party opie you held your cool fairly well considering she snooped you could have interrogated her more as to why she snooped called her out and then dropped the bomb that it wasn't a pregnancy test and that you are willing to go hunt for the box to prove it outright then letting her have a choice to show her own idiocy also don't they cost a bit i mean pregnancy tests aren't the most expensive but they aren't the cheapest here she went through a stranger's drawers saw a tester for pregnant mistakenly and didn't bring up reimbursement or didn't think the person who it belongs to probably was going to use it or did she try to one-up her beforehand not the [ __ ] who the hell snoops around a bathroom and decides to take a pregnancy test with someone else's supplies in the first place honestly i think that obnoxious snoop got precisely what she deserved when you told her what she'd actually done sounds like doug and sasha don't belong on anyone's guest list yeah what also ovulation tests are not cheap i would be furious with her who cares about her feelings when she's rifling through your things and stealing them absolutely bizarre and unacceptable behavior our next post is by user late night falls titled am i the [ __ ] for not accommodating my brother-in-law during my birthday dinner and telling him his taste wasn't my priority i 26 female recently had a birthday some family and i went out to dinner to celebrate the guests were me my husband my parents his parents my two brothers and sister and my husband's brother so here's the deal my brother-in-law is weird about eating out he'll only order a burger or fries and chicken nuggets in a food place no matter how fancy no matter how much choice there is he goes so far as not even looking at menus in places and will ask for nuggets and fries by default and will be very difficult if a place doesn't have those on the menu i know this but i won't accommodate it when it comes to something i'm supposed to enjoy when my husband and i were discussing the dinner i told him to let his brother know they didn't do burgers and fries at this place cool he still says he's showing up the dinner arrives and everybody's looking at the menu except him he waits and waits and when we're all ordering he asks the server for fries and nuggets he explains they don't have those and then my brother-in-law asks about a burger they don't do those either he asks could they make up some fries just for him and the server explains they can't accommodate those he starts sulking and my husband makes apologies and said they'll get the final order to them asap brother-in-law goes off about how crappy it was i didn't think of him with dinner and we should have made sure there was something for him to eat i pointed out he was told and he chose to come that it was not my job to accommodate for his pickiness when eating out and that his taste was not a priority during my birthday dinner brother-in-law calls me a selfish [ __ ] and walks off my brother-in-law tries to excuse his outburst that he's hungry while my father-in-law can't stop apologizing my husband confronted his brother after his brother said he was still pissed at me and my brother said we were the ones pissed and he made a scene during my birthday dinner their mom is saying i could have been more accommodating and it's only fair to consider guests when inviting them out on one hand i'm annoyed that he acted that way but on the other i don't want to cause any trouble between us and my husband's family am i the [ __ ] no i just think he's acting like a big baby he was told that there's not going to be chips and there's not going to be burgers so if you don't want to come you don't come you get what you get and you don't cause a fit if he's going to have such a limited variety of things to eat just asking for nuggets or fries by default jesus just leave and go to mcdonald's or something because you obviously don't want to be somewhere that serves real food i'm going to go not the [ __ ] for this one he sounds like a big baby and i don't envy having a limited diet like that unless there's a medical reason now in the comments not the [ __ ] i mean he knew about this beforehand he still chose to come knowing that he wouldn't be able to get what he ordered tell him to go to mcdonald's for his cheeky nuggets and edit to add it was your birthday as well and he made a scene i would not be accommodating to someone like this regardless right my eight-year-old is a picky eater and i'd still expect him to behave better than this my four-year-old is picky and if he created a scene like this i wouldn't be taking him anywhere again yes actually rp says further down that it was an indian restaurant i took my son with me to a nicer indian restaurant just before the pandemic he had plain rice some naan and a few pieces of chicken we talked about it beforehand so he knew what to expect and he had a big snack at home first no big deal i'm going to go ahead and assume your brother-in-law is a grown-ass adult as a grown-ass adult he should not be throwing tantrums in restaurants and expecting other people to tolerate this kind of bull crap if you have a toddler you choose restaurants that are toddler friendly to make your dinner as well as that of other diners reasonably pleasant when your entire guest list is adults you as the birthday girl get to eat where you want not where your adult brother-in-law can enjoy toddler food you should be annoyed that he decided to make himself the center of attention after having been fairly warned and choosing to ignore the warning about what his meal choices would not include 100 not the [ __ ] and brother-in-law was told about the venue this is the piece that gets me i read one of the comments above that he knew it was an indian restaurant i mean you have to be living in the back of the beyond to know that beef is a huge no-no in indian food in general unless you come from some niche communities down south in india and seriously who expects to go to any restaurant and expect burgers nuggets and fries does brother-in-law ever eat out at all you left out the best part how old is brother-in-law endo p replies 30. that changes everything your 30 year old brother-in-law still needs his kitty meal in every restaurant he goes to no matter what our next post is by user the missing sock one titled am i the [ __ ] for telling my husband he needs to start taking his own vehicle to his family's functions today was the day i decided i am no longer driving with my husband to his family functions parties and events today was his cousin's 36th birthday party and she sent a group text inviting everyone party started at four and we arrived at 4 15. we have a baby who was a few months shy of turning two with that being said she typically starts winding down for bed at around 6 30 p.m we're in bed by 7 30 pm and she's out around 8 p.m my husband is in the military and he's been home for about a month now from training in school so he's not used to our routine but he's in the know as i'm the one that does all of the bedtime routine dinner and snack bath diaper and pajamas and nursing to sleep my husband has never wanted to partake in doing this as he thinks it is too much work so he's usually watching tv and will come to tuck us in right before i put our baby to sleep around 6 30 i told my husband that we would have to start getting ready to leave for bedtime he refused and said we needed to stay for at least 4 hours 8 30 rolls around and he's still not ready to leave baby is tired she is crying and she's nursing which also upsets husband baby is clearly ready to go home my husband then proceeds to tell me that i can find a ride home i text a friend but she's unable to pick us up as her husband works overnights and her two babies just fell asleep so she can't leave them i then tell my husband he needs to find a ride home and i'm driving my car home i say goodbye to everyone and let them know it's past bedtime so we need to get going husband walks me to my car and as i'm getting in the car and we're away from the party he tells me i'm an [ __ ] for ditching him and leaving him to find a ride home am i the [ __ ] for ditching my husband and forcing him to find a ride home now in the comments tamin oh says not the [ __ ] what in the honey you've got bigger problems there than just a car endo p replies oh yes i really do i have several friends who are or mostly we are military spouses there is a huge issue with some men who come back from deployments to their families that there isn't a lot of help for being deployed is basically living a very hectic and stressful bachelor life you bond with your brothers and sisters in arms you work hard and your free time is your own and it's hard to adjust to family men when they come home my co-worker and her husband have been married 35 years but his return from his second deployment after kids almost ended their marriage after the second or third time in the week that he didn't come home to play cards or grab a drink with the boys from work she sat him down calmly the next day and said she signed on to be a single parent when he was deployed but not when he was home so if he wanted to keep his family intact he needed to be a family when he was home it probably helped that she was military too until their kids were born so she knew how to speak to him good luck mama i hope he figures out how to be a partner and a father when he's home your co-worker is cool and i agree completely most of my family is either active or former military varying branches everyone wants to do their own thing and it's hard for them to adjust after deployments it's hard for the ones who get to bring their families to their assignments too but opie's husband hasn't even been deployed yet he was just a month out of basic and hasn't learned what hard really is yet he's already checked out on his family and decided to do the bare minimum as a father and nothing as a husband even telling her she can find her own ride home just so the baby can go to bed he might make a career of the military but he won't be a family man for long at this rate not the [ __ ] the obvious issue is that your husband was not ready to be a father but now here he is with a child he's unwilling to care for appropriately endo p replies this is what it feels like he's 33 though i'm 30. we have responsibilities now although my daughter is my priority i find that my husband's priorities are not the same as mine some people just never grow up regardless of their actual age were you guys on the same page about wanting to have kids prior to having them did you have a conversation about how the work would be divided and how the family would function as a whole your husband is being a huge ass but i'm also curious about if you both knew the responsibility you were taking on when deciding to have kids in a perfect world he would just grow up and operate based on what the child needs but that seems like wishful thinking am i the [ __ ] for not letting my best friend have her wedding on my property after being uninvited so one of my best friends carla is getting married soon it's only meant to be a small backyard type of wedding but they've been planning it for a few months now and originally it was supposed to be on my property they wanted it because it's private has lots of open space for the reception a nice view and the house could be used for them to get ready and stuff of course i said yes and she and her fiance rick were very happy the thing is carla and i do have a history we went out on and off in college but decided to stay friends then i met my wife we got married carla met rick and now here they are now my wife knows that i went out with carla back in college and she didn't care carla still went to our wedding and everything and i never knew if rick was told or not it's not my relationship therefore not my business to say anything so i never did rick found out recently and not in the best way i'm not sure how but from what i heard from friends is that one mutual friend told him no idea why that we used to date not only that but apparently carla said a couple years ago she was still in love with me while she was already dating rick don't have actual confirmation if that's exactly what he was told all carla told me is that rick was told about our past and he's angry at her for never seeing anything it became quite a drama and i didn't hear from her for over a month until now she told me they're going to couples counselling and that the wedding is still on but rick requested that i not attend it sucks but i totally get why he wouldn't be comfortable then i asked the obvious question where are they going to hold the wedding then to my surprise she said she still wants it at our place rick said so too and in my mind i'm going he doesn't want the guy who dated his fiance years ago at the wedding but still wants the wedding at his house my wife and i are expected to just not be at our home that weekend and i told carl and no they're going to have to find someplace else since we're not going to simply leave our home for them for the weekend not only for safety reasons but it just doesn't make sense rick doesn't want me around because he's not comfortable but is comfortable enough to have the wedding at my house they really want their wedding here though and because of that i've been bugged by not only her but also rick and some friends that think i'm being a petty [ __ ] for not letting them have the wedding here anymore honestly don't think that i am it just doesn't make sense at all to have to leave our own place for a wedding that we're no longer welcome to and leaving our home totally vulnerable still i'm being accused of sabotaging their wedding and rick believes it's the least i can do after everything am i the [ __ ] this is another situation where it's so easy for everyone on the outside looking in because it's not their house and it's not their relationship that they are you know messing around with quote unquote surely with their couples counselling rick would have been told hey you either accept it or you don't man you don't really have a choice in this situation because if that was brought up in couples counselling if he was like yeah i don't want op at the wedding but i still want to host it at his house do you think i'm crazy for that mr couples counselor they'd probably say yeah that's an unreasonable request and you'd be an [ __ ] for continuing to push that so rick and his wife are really unreasonable in this situation in my opinion i'm going to go with op not the [ __ ] if they want to try and pull this screw them and screw their wedding not the [ __ ] now in the comments pom door says wreck doesn't want to get married anymore but doesn't want to be the bad guy breaking up with his fiance so he's put her in an impossible position so he can get the sympathy when they split not the [ __ ] damn excellent insights rick is petty and passive-aggressive and ridiculously insecure like she's marrying you dude not her ex chill i don't think it's insecure to not want the dude your fiance was apparently in love with when you started dating to come to the wedding to me it would feel like i was second choice then again i would also probably break things off if i found out my partner lied about something that important and also said things like that rick and fiance are definitely the [ __ ] though for wanting to use his house after uninviting him i wonder how their couples counselor would react to that news it doesn't sound healthy i think the bigger issue is not mentioning it especially if it was a long time thing like if carla and opie hooked up once 10 years ago and never talked about it again i wouldn't really expect carla to bring it up obviously that wasn't the case separately it's not that weird to have exes at your wedding especially if it was a while ago and you're all in the same friend group which from this post i think is the vibe all of this together the lie and the extended relationship is a bad mix i think rick's jealousy is so intense because carla didn't tell him like she was hiding it i think if she had told him when they first met hey me and dopey used to date but that's way in the past i'm with you then rick would have no reason to not want him at the wedding in my opinion but she didn't she hid it which makes it 10 times worse not the [ __ ] what a weird request do you typically host wedding receptions on your property he can go pay for a venue if he's going to act like that if they even end up getting married that is endo p replies only hosted a wedding once for my sister a couple years ago it's stressful setting up and cleaning up after even with a crew so that's why i'd only do it for people i'm close to they expect you to do that too audacity and grounded 55 says rick believes it's the least i can do after everything rick is sick if he thinks a his fiance never dated anyone before him b she didn't stay friends with old boyfriends and c he can get someone's home as a wedding venue while not allowing the owners to attend the wedding you're under no obligation to provide a free wedding venue to these people under these circumstances because you have not in fact done anything wrong i pity color if she marries this guy not the [ __ ] unexposed is by user sorrywife09871 titled am i the [ __ ] for putting our nanny on the family membership instead of my wife so i'm a father of two kids wife and i both work she works considerably more than i do with less flexibility she also has a ton of responsibility at her job where even if it's her time off if crap goes down she has to handle it so a few weeks ago i took my kids to a local museum that they loved so i joined for a membership the membership is good for four people you can add extras but it costs more i just did the four but instead of adding my wife as the other adults i added out nanny 9 out of 10 times it's either me or our granny taking the kids somewhere so it made sense my wife discovered it after looking on our account because the kids and nanny are going today so she wanted to confirm the membership was good it hurt her feelings and i suppose she chose to take it out on me with anger she didn't like my answer for why i did it and kept saying that it says a lot that i just put our nanny in the mum slots instead of paying the extra 15 bucks for her to be in there too i'm gonna go with you're the [ __ ] for this one if it was only 15 bucks for the nanny to be in there too and you're screwing your wife over over 15 bucks then yes yes you do suck you know your wife and you know that if she was going to go looking into this account you should know that she's going to be upset because you know her better than all of us so that tells me that this was an intentional action and you value saving 15 bucks over your wife's emotions you're the [ __ ] now in the comments just the bin says you're the [ __ ] mostly for doing this behind her back as a nanny i've been added to family memberships before and occasionally in place of her parents however i would never allow that to happen without the other spouse's knowledge and consent you lied by your mission and she had to find out while looking at the credit card statement that is where you fundamentally screwed this up i have to ask is making your wife feel this way really worth saving 15 bucks this was my stance too it could have been not the [ __ ] if he talked about it with his wife and she said nah put the nanny on the membership that makes sense but otherwise it's just weird and rude so op is the [ __ ] and they have a nanny so one could reasonably infer they can afford an extra 15 bucks 15 bucks is likely cheaper than a one-time adult admission so even if the wife only went one time it would still be worth it financially even if the wife never went 15 bucks for peace at home and not making a wife feel like crap is worth it financially because that's the kind of thing that starts a boulder rolling downhill towards a divorce or therapy or a special couples trip you're the [ __ ] was going not the [ __ ] until the extra cost was 15 bucks you have a full-time nanny both work and that was too much money dude for that amount i can understand her being upset how can you be married to a working mom and not realise what happens moms have to deal with struggles of splitting that time feeling less than in all situations if she tells them it works she can't go in because of family and kids she's not a dedicated employee if she can't be a junior's basketball game or take him to the museum because of work she's a bad mom they can't win so while completely unintended by saving that 15 bucks she feels you basically told her that she's never there for her kids translation a bad mom nice throw yourself on a sword and apologize profusely and make it up to her whatever it takes no [ __ ] here your choice is 100 logical but that museum membership has the word family or momslot spots in it making the topic somewhat sensitive maybe it could have been better if your wife had previous knowledge of your cost saving plan but now it's too late so the best you can do is try to give her some space and then communicate with her your wife's anger is probably justified considering your description of her pressure at work would suggest that you not take her words personally i wish you the best and edits i wanted to address a few things that fellow redditors pointed out i agree that a completely logical choice with the objective of saving money disregards emotions in this case but communication with people to solve problems is what matters in the present to me i assumed that the 15 situation is a monthly cost yes it was an assumption based on membership models in my country around me over the months and a year it costs a huge amount for people like me our next post is by user college fund house titled am i the [ __ ] for letting our son use his untouched college fund as a down payment on a house and not using it to pay off our daughter's student loans so our son just graduated college he was extremely studious in high school and was able to get a full scholarship to the school of his choice the college fund we saved for him therefore went untouched our daughter is a couple years older than our son and despite our best efforts she was never the greatest student so while she was able to go to college she received no scholarship money the college fund we saved for her which actually amounted to a little more than we saved for our son covered about half her tuition with loans making up the rest our son did extremely well in college and graduated with a great job we therefore decided to gift him his college fund to use as a down payment for a house and with the stock market gains over the last four years it's grown quite a bit since he went off to school our daughter was furious when she found out that our son's college fund went towards him buying a house she said that he's already way ahead of her in life since he graduated debt-free with a much better paying job than our daughter's and it's not fair to put him even further ahead she maintains the fair thing to have done is to have put our son's fund towards paying off her loans both my husband our son and i think our daughter is being entitled but she told some of our extended family how unfair we're being and they're taking her side are we somehow the unfair ones here i personally don't think so i think if your son earned a scholarship and was able to get through on his own he's fine then now that's just me reading in between the lines but i'm guessing if you did have a college fund and he got a scholarship he's going to use that for a house afterwards since that's money for him and she had money for her and she in fact had more money than him in her college fund i do think she got more of her fair share than his and i think she's just looking for free money in this situation if you want it to be quite unquote fair which i don't think it is fair you could give her that money to help pay off her loans but you don't have to of course and i don't think you're morally in the wrong if you don't do so so i'm gonna go not the [ __ ] here now in the comments i'm inclined to say not the [ __ ] this is a classic fair versus equal issue fair would say that both kids graduate debt-free so long as you have the money to do so i.e everyone gets what they need regardless of who needs more while equal would say that each kid gets the same amount regardless of need neither is wrong and given your kids aren't owed a college fund you're actually being very generous it's really up to you whether you choose to be fair or to be equal you choose equal each kid gets their own fund and that is completely valid most wills choose equal too giving each child the same amount regardless of who needs it more my parents chose fairness leaving their money to their social worker son rather than their daughter married to a well-paid executive but needs changed and he left her cleaning out their account he did have to share assets eventually but she did not get alimony have to be married for 20 years in my states and her standard of living is now lower than her brothers not the [ __ ] you had the same amount of money earmarked for each kid your daughter isn't entitled to more because she struggled more you were perfectly fair giving them the same amount and they used it the way each of them needed to actually they said they saved up more in the daughter's funds that's probably just because the daughter is older and also benefited from the healthy stock markets a hundred bucks a month over 22 years doesn't always result in the same return depending on the market conditions of the start and finish dates no [ __ ] here although gifting your son money that was earmarked for college for a different purpose was likely going to lead to your other child feeling shafted but you already told him that he could have it so it is what it is i don't even think it's entitlement she probably did her best you didn't mention that she screwed around in school and has the burden of debt so it's going to be difficult to watch her brother not have any debts and get a house as a parent i would have prioritized both my kids getting through school with the same amount of or no debts and then if i gift them anything for a house it would also be equal amounts the fact that one kid was academically gifted and got scholarships wouldn't have factored in it's a bit like punishing the average one for being average it sounds like she didn't do her best as per one comment from op quotes no not a typo my husband and i both tried to get our daughter to take school more seriously but she was simply more interested in having fun in high school it pains me to say it but we do not think she tried her hardest in school opie mentioned in another comment that daughter also refused cheaper options like community college for the first two years and then university despite years of the parents explaining that the fund saved would only cover two years at uni and that the kids would need to make up the difference i'm going with not the [ __ ] i know the daughter wasn't old enough to fully understand the implications of her decisions but the parents did their level best to prepare her hmm i can't take that comment from op without a grain of salt some people really misunderstand the difference and massive advantage someone gets for being academically gifted an average kid working twice as hard could still come up shorts in my teaching career i've seen so many parents of a gifted kid with a not so gifted younger child misunderstand their differences not the [ __ ] the goal of college funds isn't to have complete equity of outcomes it's to provide the same resources to each child kids will have different scholarships or different priced schools and that will impact how far their funds go presumably you do the same for your daughter if the situation was flipped and our next person by user minori haku titled am i the [ __ ] for ruining my sister's surprise party so i 20 female have a younger sister today 19 female who i'm not close with she lives with my mom and i live with my boyfriend we didn't get along for a long time now but i didn't think we hate each other i love her as she is my sister but we are not close due to me lying to her when i was a teenager she always told everything to our parents so i stopped sharing things with her three days ago my boyfriend and i asked my mom if my sister will have any kind of birthday celebration as we had got her gifts she said no we're not doing anything so we agreed that i'll drop off her present which i did so yesterday i found out due to a mutual friend that there will be a celebration i was devastated angry and just generally sad that my mother lied to me about this i thought my sister knew too i told this to my boyfriend and he got mad writing a long text to my sister about how he sees me suffering for the past year now and that she really could explain why they both hate me this much she wrote to me about this and i told her i didn't know that he would send that text but that i'm hurt that mum would lie about this party as the title suggests she did not know i told her i'm sorry about ruining it but i obviously didn't know she told me to go screw myself not only due to the party but because i claimed i love her she told me mum probably didn't invite me because i mean nothing to her mum later told me that she didn't lie she just invited people who they hang out with more often and that i ruined the surprise so reddit am i the [ __ ] for ruining my sister's surprise party edits because it keeps coming up i did not know that my boyfriend would text her i told him not to after i found out i did also talk to my mum it's in the post who said she didn't invite me because i'm not in their friend group i would have been okay not going as i'm not a party animal myself but the lie bothered me and added too because someone said i should add one i lied to my sister because she was unable to keep my secrets and i did not trust her after a while two my sister and mother to this day think i lied about being sexually abused when i was 17. three mutual friends did not know that it was a surprise party or just assumed i did know and didn't tell four we have not lived together for a year now we don't really meet outside of work five this isn't a new issue she never gets me presents while i always do never asks about my life while i always did etc six we've decided to cut our relationship with them if i come out to you're the [ __ ] everyone sucks here or not the [ __ ] that will not change that as i have no access to psychological help to deal with their constant bashing calling me my new stepmother's pet for example and i want to minimize it now in the comments the final frontier says you're the [ __ ] instead of checking with your mother who lied to you you decided to unleash your boyfriend on your sister for something she didn't even do naturally opie edits the post because she's not getting enough sympathetic responses her relationship with her family is crap because she lies and she wants pity points i hate the attitude that edits which add detail making a poster more sympathetic must be lies the edits are consistent with the original post anyway you're the [ __ ] you assumed the worst of your sister and instead of talking to her and having a mature conversation you'd let your boyfriend send a nasty text that ruined this surprise not the [ __ ] 1. opie lied to her sister because she was a freaking blabber mouth like none of you ever lied to a sibling because they couldn't keep their mouth shut 2. opie's out being called a liar because she didn't share every waking thought with her sister when the mum's the only one who seem to have lied in this post as when asked directly about a party she blatantly lies and says sister isn't having one and when confronted said that opie wasn't in their friends group and three your sister is overreacting when told about a party that she didn't know was happening she gets upset and says that opie wasn't invited because she means nothing to her for not the [ __ ] and back to the post there's a big update edit that op adds and says thanks to everyone who took the time to read the post and answered my question i did not get closer to knowing if i was the [ __ ] the post itself got tagged or the [ __ ] but most answers i saw were everyone sucks here i also got many not the [ __ ] so it definitely was not an easy thing to decide it seems i cut ties with my sister in any way that is outside of work and work parties i told her in a long text that i'm sorry she feels this way but she has no right to decide how i feel and that if she thinks she's better off hating on me then she can do as she wishes i told her that my boyfriend was not in the dark about her relationship as she originally had assumed he just understands me as she has never even tried to after this i met with my mother today at work we did not address the problem but i decided to keep it social i love her and it's not as easy for me to stop loving people as some commenters suggested but i will try to make myself understand that them being like this to me is not my problem not accepting a gift makes it not your gift i talked to my boyfriend and told him firmly that he should not try to solve my problems for me well not in an invasive way anyway he completely understood and said he was sorry that he just felt so helpless seeing me suffer over and over again to those people who assumed i'm a crazy lying manipulative person i understand that you may have misunderstood the post but i did try to explain in the comments that my lies were purely to protect myself from my family and from my sister using the information to hurt me she had the habit of telling people these private things when she wanted me to feel bad but eventually she would always tell and get me in trouble thanks for all the comments and have a good day am i the [ __ ] for being honest with my boyfriend's mom when she asked me if i was enjoying her wedding so i've been with my boyfriend alex for two years i get along okay with his mum jane but sometimes she's a bit of a just no mother-in-law anyway she got married recently and they wanted a smaller more laid-back wedding because she did the traditional wedding the first time they got married at a vineyard and it was really nice for dinner there was a fancy brick oven pizza and salad and later there was a mac and cheese bar dessert was caramel brownie cheesecake or berry cobblers i hate cobbler and you probably caught on that there was a lot of cheese there were also charcuterie boards so a whole freak ton of cheese don't get me wrong i like non-traditional weddings and the food was out of this world but after dessert i was on the verge of crapping myself i went to the bathroom feeling like i was going to die and it wasn't pretty the grim's two daughters late teens and early 20s were in there they are both horrible they have talked so much crap about jane and are just mean girls when i came out they were snickering and looking at me and i was mortified i ended up in there again because holy hell that woman likes cheese later on i went over to where she was sitting with her new husband and jane asked if i was having fun i said it was beautiful but admitted i'd been in agony because of her menu and she really should have had some more balanced options because a lot of people are dairy sensitive i then told the groom about what happened with his daughters he just looked at me weird and then said that it was his wedding nights and he doesn't want to hear an account of anyone crapping my boyfriend got annoyed and said that i should have just lied because you don't complain to the couple at the wedding but i feel like she should know for future parties and he should know so he can talk to his daughters jane is on her honeymoon so i don't know if she's mad she didn't seem it but a couple of my friends said that i'm the [ __ ] and it isn't jane's problem and i personally agree that you are the [ __ ] and this isn't jane's problem nor is it her husband's problem it's really poor form if you think about it if you're getting married do you want one of your guests coming up and being like so i'm lactose intolerant and i just add a [ __ ] ton of dairy and you might want to vacate the premises because the nuclear bombs of craps that i've dropped twice in that bathroom that's really gonna make you rethink that menu of yours god this is all your fault don't you want to hear more about the torrential reign of fecal matter that i've got in your toilets over there no opie do you have no self-awareness do you have no shame you're the [ __ ] what's wrong with you now in the comments kaskapellis says you're the [ __ ] jesus dude nobody made you eat all that dairy and no one cares if you hate cobbler yeah that cobbler comment got me too it's like she expects their wedding menu to be tailored to her i'd bet the bride or groom likes cobbler a lot but either way they had two desserts in case people disliked one option a lot of weddings just have cake wasn't it berry cobbler my goodness i got excited just reading it imagine eating so much cheese and dairy that you almost crap yourself twice at a wedding and then you tell the groom and bride wedding's nice but man have i been crabbing why didn't you specifically plan for this yeah i mean like stop eating it's not like she's expected not to eat for 10 hours two maybe after she already ate the cheese which made her feel bad she should have stopped and no one under any circumstances likes hearing about bowel movements specifically not at their wedding opie must be that weird relatives that no one likes talking to but they still have to include to keep the peace you're the [ __ ] a tactless [ __ ] there was no reason for you to spoil their nights you could have said that it was lovely and kept your opinion on the menu to yourself if you thought what the girls were saying needed to be addressed you could have easily sent an email in the following days also if you know you're dairy sensitive then why did you eat so much cheese in the first place opie is definitely one of those people who consider themselves honest and real but in reality a just rude tactless [ __ ] i wonder why she doesn't have that great of a relationship with her mother-in-law lol this person is awful no i won't give details just take my word on it and what the hell you're the [ __ ] none of what you said was necessary firstly nobody made you eat any of this you know what your dietary restrictions are and should be well aware of your dairy limits you probably should have had more salad and crackers and less pizza secondly to go to the bridal groom and let them know anyone was talking crap was just crass pretty sure it's basic wedding etiquette to not bring up unnecessary drama to bride and groom during the wedding thirdly you think she doesn't know what her stepdaughters say about her and you think he doesn't know this isn't some grand revelation you made that needed to be shared right at that damn moment you're being a just no daughter-in-law our next post is by user nurplewench titled am i the [ __ ] for screaming at my friend in front of his teacher during his university art exhibition so at the start of this year my friend toby male 21 asked if i would be willing to sit for a painting he was doing which would be submitted to an art exhibition at his university i agreed to this and sat for two sessions he asked me to sit in a simple pose just slightly slouched in an armchair and this all went fine once the sessions were over i asked if i could see the painting and he told me he had more work to do on it and didn't want anyone else to see it before it was completed i was disappointed but agreed and thought nothing more of it cue to last month and i was at dinner with a few of my friends including toby and another girl who goes to uni with him becca it came up in conversation that the art exhibition was going ahead and toby had two pieces being shown i was excited and hoped that the painting he did of me would be there as i wanted to see it i asked about attending and toby immediately jumped in and said that it was for university students only and that he would show me the painting once the exhibition was over once the dinner was over becca stopped behind to talk to me and said that she was confused as to why toby told me that it was for university students when it was open to everyone i was really confused myself and decided to go along without informing toby that i was going to be there the exhibition comes around and i attended i walked around and found toby's work including the painting of me however it wasn't what i expected in the painting i was completely naked it was very clearly my face on a naked body i felt violated even though i knew that it wasn't my naked body and just a drawing he did i felt sick he never informed me that it would be a nude painting i would not have agreed to my face being put on a naked body i saw red and i stormed around the exhibition until i saw toby and i immediately started shouting at him about how violating the painting was and how i was so upset he did this without informing me unfortunately his teacher was nearby and heard everything i stormed out in tears he has since texted me several times telling me i'm a selfish [ __ ] for making him look bad in front of his teacher and i've had messages from several of our mutual friends telling me that i overreacted and it's just a painting so am i the [ __ ] for making him look bad in front of his teachers by screaming at him during his art exhibition edits i just spoke to a mutual friend of ours not one of the people that has texted me defending him and he spoke to toby and asked about the painting and toby admitted that it was how he imagines i look naked but he didn't see an issue with it because it's not like it's really my body now i feel even more violated i will be contacting the university tomorrow morning this is a horrendous situation and toby should feel bad even the fact that he said it's how he imagined that you would look naked that throws him even further into the deep end here he's such a terrible person for doing this he intentionally tried to keep you out of the exhibit so you didn't get mad at him on the spot and he wouldn't lose his reputation in front of his peers and his teacher i imagine he's going to get a really harsh punishment for this one from his teacher and from the university itself that seems like a huge no-no not the [ __ ] op now in the comments bowler boy 2 says not the [ __ ] what the hell toby painted a pornographic image of you and presented it in front of crowds of people all without your consent i would do the same thing you did if someone created a sexual and or pornographic image of me however i do think this should have tipped you off quote i asked about attending and toby immediately jumped in and said that it was for university students only and that he would show me the painting once the exhibition was over he didn't want to show you the painting until the conclusion of the exhibition because he didn't want to go through the whole process of asking you for consent to draw a nude picture of you he lied to you in order to portray you in a disgusting fashion in summary you were right to scream at him i would consider taking this up with his skull this is a serious violation of trust and you would be well within your rights to make him see appropriate consequences for his actions correct opie you need to get in touch with whoever toby's teacher is or an admin of toby's university and present the issue to them you can get him suspended or expelled because of this and i don't think this would be overreacting either he knew full well exactly what he was doing and you wouldn't agree to it then he did it anyway in public at a school sponsored exhibit i'm inviting you on purpose so that you wouldn't know that he was displaying a nude picture of you to the entire world not the [ __ ] i hope toby's professor figured out what you were so angry about and had a nice little chat with him about his behavior and ethics mean girl replies i'm a professor not of art and i would treat this like plagiarizing a research paper zero on the assignment and i would report him to the student council it's artistic dishonesty not the [ __ ] op should email the professor directly if they want to i would want to know this not to mention it might be considered illegal depending on where they are he didn't have consent to publicly display a nude image of op and that could qualify it as a form of revenge porn it really depends on the wording of the laws in most states this would definitely qualify as revenge porn even if it wasn't the intention knowingly distributing a naked image of someone without their consent is illegal and can have major consequences unexposed is by user pacing pilot titled am i the [ __ ] for pointing out to my cousin how stupid her new dog's name is this sounds silly as hell but she's just bit my head off i didn't think i was being an [ __ ] but she sure seems to so i have a cousin 45 female who's a little flaky and has always had an affinity for over-complicated spellings of normal names if you know the type you know what i'm talking about giving their kids names like stefanie my kayla kaylee stuff like that whatever you know each to their own and it doesn't affect me i've never said boo about what she named her kids and have always done my best to spell them correctly on birthday cards a couple hours ago she hit me up on messenger to show me pics of her new dog great right the dog is cute and i tell her as much then she drops the name on me pronounced cody slash cody oh but of course it isn't spelt that way she had to put her twist on it to make it special she is spelling it chode yup i might be 42 now but i was once a potty brained teenager and i know what a chord is after i got my laughter under control i messaged her back and told her to look up chode on urban dictionary while waiting for her reply i checked her facebook page and sure enough she'd already posted the dog's pics with her chosen name it had a healthy amount of laugh reacts but nobody had commented yet i sent her screenshots of some of the funnier urban dictionary definitions she flipped out and sent me a few nasty messages about how immature i am i guess i could have been more mature about it but come on she named her dog chode i didn't think it was that serious she's only had the dog two days now so it's not like he knows his name and she is usually the type to laugh at a dirty joke but not this time i guess so do i owe her an apology or should i just laugh it off and wait for her to cool down now in the comments non-con on the fence says i mean she's gonna be taking a dog out to places like the vets and having it called up not the [ __ ] you've just made her aware what she does with that info is up to her not the [ __ ] the dog can't read she can literally just change the spelling lamell right just pretend it was an autocorrect or something then she would have to explain why her phone predicted chode not the [ __ ] my grandma likes to tell the story of how when my father and his siblings were growing up they named the dogs doobie slash doobie and she didn't know that that was a slang for joint until one of her neighbors pointed it out after hearing her calling for the dog she would have loved for someone to point this out to her sooner granny shouting down the block for her doobie asking the neighbors if they'd seen doobs around i love all these images not the [ __ ] and i can't think of a situation where chode would be reasonably pronounced cody there are situations where ch makes a k sound i.e character but regardless it still says chode not the [ __ ] you are not the only one who will think that way and you're actually saving her some future embarrassment she'll be taking the dog to the vet at the least and maybe other places like groomers and doggy daycares the employees will surely take one look at the name on the paperwork and start laughing eventually someone will call to tell her that chode is ready to be picked up but they won't be pronouncing it the way she intended even worse imagine if someone mispronounces the name in a crowded lobby she might be mad now but she should get over it eventually and our next post is by user properly roasted xoxo titled am i the [ __ ] for not inviting my friends to my wedding after she disinvited me from her ceremony even though i made the cake so my 31 female friend 33 female got married in the fall of 2019 at a family home in a small ceremony because her now husband had to leave the country for a year for work i ended up making her cake for it and no i wasn't invited because they wanted it to be small she instead said she'd invite me to the actual ceremony which took place last weekend she asked me if i could do the wedding cake for that too and i agreed as i'm a professional decorator as a side job and yes she paid me this conversation happened in august 2019 and i got the official invite to her wedding january 2021 between that august conversation and now i met my now fiance 35 male and we got engaged back in december of 2020 i messaged my friend in january and said that i was unable to do the cake as i'd moved 30 minutes away to live with him and i had a small car at the time so i couldn't deliver any more and she didn't want to pick it up a couple months later i received a letter disinviting me from the ceremony citing health restrictions these were lifted for weddings before this letter was sent out i was a bit miffed because i feel like i was only invited because i offered to do the cake and no longer could but said nothing until this morning fyi i did not receive any money for this cake at all she posted some wedding photos online and i liked one she then called me seconds later and asked when to expect the invite to my wedding to which i told her she wasn't invited explaining the issue with the cake and me being disinvited from her wedding she said i was taking it personally when it was about inviting close and essential people only while also being safe i asked her would i still have been invited if i had done the cake and she said that's not relevance and called me vindictive i told her it was relevant and that i was disinvited because i no longer served a purpose to her she got mad and said that i was being petty but i don't think i am my fiance and family agrees with me but some friends say that i sound bitter so am i the [ __ ] for not inviting her to my wedding and edits her wedding had 150 people added two i got the invite in january not february not much to say about this one i feel like it's very obvious that she's in the wrong in this situation that you were just a means to an ends for a wedding cake you couldn't do it anymore and she didn't want to drive 30 minutes so screw her if she doesn't want that go find someone else for it but to have the entitled attitude that she somehow deserved an invite to your wedding after doing that to you is just ludicrous to me not the [ __ ] opie now in the comments not the [ __ ] if you aren't close and essential enough to attend either of her ceremonies why would she expect to be so for your wedding yeah if ropi was so unimportant as not to make the cut out of 150 freaking guests then it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who the vindictive one is opie also didn't do something as tacky as her friend on inviting her that was a low blow especially citing health reasons when you have a guest list of 150 people had already had the person bake one cake for a ceremony they weren't invited to and then suddenly have concerns after they couldn't bake another cake for you either she was straight up using op for her mad baking skills in the first place or was that vindictive simply because opie could no longer do this huge favor either way ob is not the [ __ ] for not wanting the woman at her wedding not the [ __ ] she wanted her cake and when you didn't make it she had no use for you anymore and threw you out she can call you vindictive or petty all she wants she's the one that disinvited you because you didn't make her a cake she's not a friend agreed she raised you one disinvite you called her bet not the [ __ ] i'm appalled and secondhand embarrassed for her that she was so tacky as to disinvite a wedding guest and not the [ __ ] if you weren't close and essential enough to attend either of her ceremonies why would she expect to be so for your wedding sounds like this woman thinks she's the center of everyone's universe and that even if she disrespected them they will still want her to come to their events am i the [ __ ] for calling out my friend with an invisible chronic illness so i've been friends with r for the past few years r has a number of health problems that often make day-to-day life difficult just looking at her you wouldn't be able to tell that anything is wrong and dar has often expressed to me how frustrating this is to her i try to be really understanding and sympathetic to our's problems i'm lucky in that i'm quite healthy but i have family members and i know others with similar invisible disabilities when r and i hang out together she tells me she's often too tired or in pain to do much but sit and talk and i respect that however i know that r is can and does lead a more normal life she'll often post pictures of her partying hiking and even ziplining she'll tell me about how she went out to a great restaurant and ate food that she normally can't tolerate she always does these things by herself or with family and other friends a few days ago we hung out and i suggested going to a cafe that she'd mentioned wanting to try she said that she wasn't feeling well enough to walk or stand in line i suggested ordering food to the house instead and she replied that it would probably make her sick and that i should know that i completely understand that her issues can crop up unexpectedly but this happens every single time we're together and i don't see the pattern with anyone else i tried to be as gentle as possible and told her that i'd noticed that she'd never wanted to go anywhere or do anything when the two of us hang out i said that i want to respect her limitations but that maybe we could find something she'd be able to do or eat ah blew up at me and said that i was being inconsiderate of her illness and that as an able-bodied person i would never understand she laughed but kept texting me and said that i was a crappy disrespectful friend here's where i think i'm the [ __ ] i got pissed and responded that it seemed like her illnesses only really cropped up with me and that maybe she'd feel better if we stopped hanging out completely i really don't want to lose the friendship because i enjoy talking with them but i'm upset because i feel like she doesn't really want to do much with me and uses her illness as an excuse it's kind of weird that you point out her chronic invisible illness so much but then you just say that maybe she just picks and chooses when it affects her maybe she just wants friends to understand her difficulties and work with her if you really do think she's faking the chronic illnesses that she has then you're definitely an [ __ ] for that one i don't know what else to say now in the comments i love bread says my guess as a person myself with invisible chronic illness is that for some reason she isn't comfortable moving out of her comfort zone while she's with you for whatever reason she doesn't want to take the chance of getting sick or having symptoms or needing help when she's with you the most likely reason is embarrassment people like us avoid embarrassment due to our illness at all costs like there are only certain people i'm gonna risk crapping my pants in public around you're the [ __ ] but clearly not intentionally just very much unaware of the issues people like your friend face i agree with this too i have ibs and i don't try new restaurants with people that i'm not comfortable with because a flare-up is embarrassing but i'll risk it with my husband because i know he won't be upset if i disappear to the restroom and that he'll support me oh god ibs truly is the [ __ ] from someone else with treasonous intestines as someone with an invisible chronic illness i see two main possibilities here one she trusted op in my experience there are people i feel safe enough to say no to because of my limitations and people i do not it's possible that her saying no meant that she trusted her pee enough to stop pushing herself when i'm not comfortable around someone i hide my symptoms so that they don't judge me for them there are very few people in this world i feel safe enough around to tell them that i can't do something because of my illness i usually make up an unrelated excuse so that they don't see me as weak if this is the case opie you broke her trust by pushing her and you're the [ __ ] or two a few others have pointed out this possibility she doesn't trust opie to take care of her if something happens and she needs assistance i know i am very careful about who i'm with when i might overextend myself and risk needing medical attention it's scary to experience and i need to be sure that someone has my back if this is the case i think no asshole's here because she has every right to be upset at op for pushing her and dopey is only living up to her expectations anyway there are plenty of other possibilities but this is just my opinion side notes people with invisible disabilities and illnesses can still do fun things we can still have adventures and live recklessly it just costs us more maybe rest days before and after maybe a consultation with a doctor maybe relying on a medication more than usual etc we shouldn't have to stop living our lives to prove to able people that we're suffering enough to be disabled just because you can bench press x pounds a few times before you're fatigued doesn't mean you should carry that weight constantly just because i can push through a migraine to stay out late catching up with an old friend without losing consciousness or vomiting doesn't mean i should do that for each of my 10 plus migraine days monthly we all have limits and we all want to live our lives on our own terms our next post is by user fireraptor220 titled would i be the [ __ ] for spending fourteen thousand dollars in a sports car after getting ownership of my fifty thousand dollar college fund so i 26 mail and coming here to seek second opinions because it caused his small arguments maybe you guys could help us resolve it a bit of background so i consider myself very responsible with money at least now over the course of the past year i turned a two thousand eight hundred dollar credit card debt into a seven thousand dollar accounting savings i pay all of my own bills and have my own place i invest 500 bucks a month into a low risk mutual funds and i don't eat out a lot i have zero debt zero car payments i have a corolla that i paid 2 700 in cash for zero college debt no mortgage no kids no medical debt etc so i wanted to go to school for engineering but quit for mental health reasons because i did not use the college fund i was recently given ownership of it it is worth nearly fifty thousand dollars i also love cars and for the past year have had the vague goal of saving up for a sports car i've done a ton of research on cars and i'm very interested in a 14 000 hyundai genesis coupe a 2013 model that i looked at yesterday on paper everything seems okay i called my insurance company and they said that my insurance would go up only sixty dollars a month i'm paying cash and it would only cost me 30 percent of what i own the combined total of my two cars would still equal less than half my annual income this purchase has been in the works for over a year after doing tons of research on cars and the other 70 of my estate could still be invested my mom discovered my plans recently and was shocked she argued that the college fund was created by her and my dad for the purpose of giving me a better life and while i do appreciate where she's coming from i feel that i'm still being more responsible than many people who get this kind of a windfall especially in my age group plus it's my money what do you guys think i don't think you're particularly doing anything wrong to any person beside yourself here so i'm going to say you're an [ __ ] to yourself in this situation and you're very much doing yourself a disservice i think this is a really dumb idea and i think you would be dumb to continue and follow through i think you should listen to your mother you're the [ __ ] now in the comments ah what 22 says you're the [ __ ] also you can't say oh i have zero college debt when mommy and daddy paid for it and you didn't finish he also says he has no mortgage but also doesn't appear to own a house which seems to be more or less the same thing don't spend it a car is a depreciating asset your financial position doesn't sound that amazing save it for a down payment on a house or something hard one i would however say you're the [ __ ] here look yes it is your money it was however given to you with a very specific purpose in mind you say you're good with finances yet you've been in credit card debt before and after getting a large chunk of money at once you want to put it into a sports car which not only is a financial liability but is something that easily depreciates in value it might be much better to keep 50k as a rainy day fund depending on where you're from as medical bills and similar issues can easily eat that up it's not a lot of money and spending 30 percent on something you originally wanted to save up for makes it seem like a very impulsive decision a sports car isn't really a sound financial decision trust me and while insurance might not go up there are other very high costs associated to keep the car in good shape i would also wonder as you mentioned mental health issues if there might be some impulsiveness behind that and if this is something to worry about i've observed this in a friend before who got herself in huge trouble overnight in the end sure your parents can't dictate what you do with it i can however fully understand why your mom is shocked and disappointed she tried to have you lead a good life and you spending it on a rather irresponsible purchase is of course going to cause some issues while you can still do it don't expect them to be happy about it or help you out if you get into financial trouble down the road that's what's getting me about this situation op's parents did an amazing job putting together a substantial fund that was very clearly for college and op knows this but wants to make a bad financial decision anyway you're the [ __ ] you only have seven thousand in savings and you should really aim to have six months salary in the bank at all times as a rainy day fund put that 50k in the bank and show your parents that they didn't waste their money saving it for you and you're the [ __ ] you haven't won the lottery you received a generous gift intended to secure your future purchasing a second car and a seven-year-old hyundai at that is a great way to thumb your nose at your parents years of dutiful saving and sacrifices made for your future be responsible with this money see a financial planner for advice on how to make the most of 50k and invest or spend it in a way that honors your parents generosity our next post is by user educationaltap 9980 titled am i the [ __ ] for doing exactly what i was told to do i hope this makes sense but i'm 25 male and work in a bank the bank i work for has a bulk sheet which keeps track of all the money that goes in and out of the main safe so if we have to take money out of our till to put it away it goes on the bulk sheet and if we need more money in our till we do the same it was one of the busiest days that we've had in a long time we easily had around two hundred thousand dollars going in and out of the main safe in a mixture of coins and notes i was trying to tidy up and i get to the shredder and there's a huge lump of paperwork on it this is a big no you're supposed to shred as you go so people don't see paperwork they shouldn't so i asked my manager 55 female what is all this paperwork she replies what do you think it is it's shredding so i have a look and notice the bulk sheet is on the pile sometimes the sheet gets messy so people like to rewrite it better so i ask again just to double check what's going on with it all are you sure that this should be shredded and before i mention the bulk sheet is on there she starts shouting at me what part of shredding don't you understand are you stupid i said that it's shredding so shred it all so of course i did 20 minutes later everyone is looking for the bulk sheet and i simply said oh i shredded it everyone stares at me like i've got three heads and starts going wild as this means that we have to try and work out what was written on it and count the whole safe etc it was a complete pain and it took ages to sort out when asked why i did it i explained that it was on the shred pile and i got told that i was stupid for asking about it and was told to shred so i did everyone at work thinks i shouldn't have done it and i don't think i'm the [ __ ] because i asked twice and i was called stupid so i did what i was told honestly i'm gonna say everyone sucks here for this one because as far as malicious compliance as this is in this situation it's still a dick move to burden the rest of your co-workers with this when you could have easily taken the bulk sheet out of the pile and shredded the rest yet you chose not to do that obviously your manager is an [ __ ] for not having communication with you and asking what you think is so important but i also think you're an [ __ ] for not communicating with your manager and being like hey the bulk sheet is on this do you want me to shred the bulk sheets and they would probably say no do not shred the bulk sheets do you have eyes in the brain put that away somewhere else idiot and yet you chose not to you're not particularly wrong in this situation opie but you're still an [ __ ] so everyone sucks here now in the comments supernova pavlova says not the [ __ ] but with the caveats after the manager yelled at you you should have held your grounds and told the manager about the bulk sheets being on the pile the manager is the one in the wrong for losing their crap and calling you stupid but you knew there was a sensitive document on the pile and you had no way of knowing if it should really be shredded except by asking directly the old measured twice and cut once advice it's a little obvious you went ahead and shredded it to spite them for berating you which is an immature move op did ask twice then got paraded and said f it i'll just do it then was it petty sure but asking twice and then getting berated i'd say not the [ __ ] opie did ask twice but never specified what was on the pile which was a document they knew could be vital that's the point everyone sucks here your manager for obvious reasons and you for causing your co-workers a headache just to make a point towards your manager you should have said you want me to shred all of it even the bulk sheets are you sure if it was simply about inconveniencing or embarrassing your manager i would say not the [ __ ] but that whole building had to stay late because of your malicious compliance it looks like they do periodically have duplicates of the sheet though it's not like op knew that it was the only copy yeah and i periodically bring a second sandwich to work but the possibility of a backup doesn't make it okay to eat my sandwich yeah but leaving that sandwich on the bin might make it so that people throw it away because what other reason is there to leave a sandwich on a bin everyone sucks here the manager shouldn't have yelled but you knew what you were doing you knew what the outcome was going to be and did it for the sake of being an [ __ ] and our next post is by user connor vd titled am i the [ __ ] i got a neck tattoo and my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment so my girlfriend and i have been together for right about a year but have known each other and been good friends for around five she has seen my transition from having virgin untouched skin to my current state of what some people would start to think is heavily tattooed i've always said that i wanted to be head to toe for the most part aside from heavy face maybe one or two but she's contested the face at all and has a pretty hard stance on the neck so yesterday was my off day and a friend hit me up asking if i wanted to hang out and possibly get a tattoo of course i was down as i haven't gotten a new piece in about a year because of the pandemic there's this drawing that my girlfriend did when we first started officially dating and i always joked that i was going to get that tatted when we would talk about it i'd float the idea of either getting it on my neck behind my ear or on my arm she of course would protest but also kind of blush like i knew she would like it so when i went i kind of just said screw it and went through with it she had no idea that i got it and came back home acting normally she didn't even notice it for 15 minutes till i pretty much pointed it out when she did she was smiling big and red but then after the initial shock she went into silent mode she pretty much didn't talk to me all night and this morning aside from a few mopes around the apartment her stance is that i disregarded her feelings and did it in spite of her my stance is i've always wanted this and it's not super noticeable she very clearly likes it just not the placement but won't admit it and is being dramatic about the whole ordeal so am i really being inconsiderate and the [ __ ] or is she just being dramatic and this will blow over edit i'm feeling like i really ruffled some feathers about the artwork itself one she gave me permission to use the artwork and two she admitted she likes the tattoo just not my neck i feel like this is a clear you're the [ __ ] for this situation i don't see how you thought that you wouldn't be when you've been telling us she's not gonna like this one she has explicitly told me she's not going to like this one and now she's acting as if she doesn't like it which she doesn't like it which is very apparent from her actions how can you take all of this and think that you're not the [ __ ] op in what universe is there a saving grace for you in this situation you're the [ __ ] now in the comments maginatism says i'm going with you're the [ __ ] just because you keep saying she clearly likes something she's telling you she doesn't that just feels super disrespectful to me and given she's in silent mode and keeps saying she doesn't like it it's weird that you keep saying she does and sort of dismissive of her as a person you can do what you want with your body but i can never vote that a dude who keeps insisting his girlfriend feels x-way instead of y way that she's telling him isn't an [ __ ] so you're an [ __ ] for that part also you need to ask an artist for permission before using their work like that in my opinion so yeah she does have a say in how her own drawings are used you're the [ __ ] not for getting a tattoo but for how you went about it you knew she wouldn't like a neck tattoo so you thought the best course of action would be to not even give her a heads up and just randomly get one anyway it sounds like you never considered her feelings at all in any of this and i'm really not buying the whole she would kinda blush like i knew she would like it especially since she's already made her dislike clear it's your body your choice but not even letting her know what you were doing makes you an [ __ ] soft you're the [ __ ] it's your body and you're free to get tattoos any way you want but you did get her drawing on a part of your body that she repeatedly told you she wasn't okay with it also seems like you're trying to interpret her body language so you get your way instead of actually listening to what she's saying regardless you'll need to work on your communication with each other or stuff like this is just gonna keep happening am i the [ __ ] for telling my wife the lock on my daughter's door does not get removed till my brother-in-law and his daughter are out of the house so my brother-in-law sammy lost his home shortly after his divorce 10 months ago he moved in with us and brought his twin daughters olivia and slawan 18 with him a couple months ago his sister who's my wife and i have one daughter zoe and she and her cousins aren't close but get along fine olivia and slawan have no respect for zoey's privacy none they used to walk into a room and take everything they get their hands on makeup phone accessories clothes school laptop etc zoe complained a lot and i've recently asked the girls to respect zoe's privacy and stop taking things my wife and sammy saw no issue with this after all they're girls and this is typical teenage girl's behavior i completely disagreed the last straw was when zoey bought a 60 mac makeup kit that looks like a paint set that she saved up for over a month and one of the girls slawon took it without permission and ruined it by mixing shades together while using it i don't know much about makeup but that's what zoe said when she found the kit on her bed and was crying i told my wife and she said she'd ask salon to apologize but i got zoe a lock after i found that she was moving valuable belongings out of the house because of this incidence sammy and his daughters saw the lock and weren't happy the girls were extremely upset sammy asked about it and i straight up told him he said my daughters aren't thieves it's normal that girls of the same age borrow each other's stuff he said zoe could easily get another makeup kit for 15 bucks from walmart's and shouldn't even be buying expensive adult makeup in the first place and suggested my wife take care of this defect in zoe's personality trying to appear older than she is he accused me of being overprotective and babying zoe with this level of enablement i told him this is between me and my wife but she shamed me for putting a lock on zoe's door for her cousins to see and preventing them from spending time with her saying i was supposed to treat them like daughters then demanded that i removed it but i said this lock does not get removed till her brother and his daughter are out of our house she got mad that i was implying we kicked them out and said her family will hate me for this so i reminded her that i let sami and his family move in which is something her own family refused to do so she should start with shaming and blaming them for not taking their own son and nieces slash granddaughters in if it wasn't for her family's unwillingness to help we wouldn't be dealing with this much disturbance at home everyone's been giving me and zoey the silent treatments and my wife is very much upset over this that is in no way being overprotective and babying zoe that is being a proper level of protective and is by no means enablement this father's behavior is enablement of these two older girls who in all reality have probably learnt this behavior from this father as it seems that he's not punishing them for it he's just allowing it to happen he seems to be displaying terrible parenting you seem to be displaying good parenting so i'm gonna go not the [ __ ] now in the comments rebels11 says not the [ __ ] don't back down you were the only one sticking up for zoey if her cousins want to use expensive makeup give them your wife's i guarantee she won't appreciate sharing anymore they need to start behaving like appreciative guests i love this idea not the [ __ ] op you have your daughter's back and totally get her need for privacy and autonomy over her staff i'm disgusted that her own mother isn't more supportive please lend some mother's makeup to the twins because obviously it's what girls do isn't it they'd love to borrow and use each other's stuff without asking not bonus if op goes into sami's room to borrow things without asking like underwear an expensive watch or something and returning it with visible wear and tear nutella would be my friend for his favorite pants and opie says you know i probably shouldn't be saying this but my wife has been acting like a hypocrite lately especially regarding privacy issues she considers privacy something very important but still thought that zoe did not have the right to get a lock even if we leave her cousins out of this matter my wife is not agreeing with the whole concept of getting a lock for zoe i explained to her what has been happening even told her that zoe has been moving some of her valuable belongings into a friend's house to keep them safe do i blame her absolutely not but my wife still thought that zoe was wrong to do that now her cousins are upset and they and sammy are using the silent treatment among other things like eating without us or not sitting with us as a guilt tactic even though it's not affecting me it's making zoe feel like she did something wrong by having a lock for her room what the hell damn these people are entitled af i'd kick all of them out for creating a hostile and uncomfortable situation in my own home exactly these people need to go now they are mentally abusing and bullying a teenage girl as well as op gaslighting disrespect and straight out hostile behavior in opie's own home opie you are not the [ __ ] boot them to the next relatives and if your wife has a problem with that she can drive them there please do not back down on this and yes let them know that your wifey has no problem with sharing makeup these people are disgraceful and entitled not the [ __ ] your wife harbors someone who tells you that zoe has a defect in her personality for buying an expensive makeup kit that's the kind of thing that has people thinking about divorce exactly as a mother myself i cannot fathom how any mother would let someone treat their child like that even if it is family that would have bought them a one-way ticket right out my front door because if your kid can't count on you to protect them who can they count on not the [ __ ] and our next post is by user dangerous with forks titled am i the [ __ ] i might have destroyed my cousin's small business by telling the truth about her supply chain so this happened in 2019 but recently came up i live in canada and i was planning on a trip to my native country in 2019 my cousin 23 at the time asked if i could bring some items back she explained that her father's side of the family unknown to me was having a wedding and that buying cultural clothes or sarees in our native country is much cheaper than buying it here in canada she asked for six dresses and agreed to pay for the items plus a little extra for my troubles i agreed mostly on the basis that it's for family it was a pain i had to compromise on my own clothing shopping etc in order to make space for her staff i made it back to canada and to her credit she paid me the amount now here's the kicker i was scrolling through instagram a few days later and saw a post from her business page she sells sarees at a slight discount relative to those sold in canadian stores sure enough the next few images were the six dresses that i had hauled over from 14 000 kilometers away she called it the wedding collection and marked everything up to the point where selling just three dresses would cover the cost of everything i got plus the inconvenience amount she provided i saw red she took advantage of my kindness and even if the wedding was real she obviously didn't use any of this stuff and it was clear that it was premeditated this is where i may have been the [ __ ] in my anger i immediately commented on her instagram post telling the truth about how she lied to me as i brought all this crap back for her and that i could prove it plenty of people dm'd me and i provided within minutes she called me and gave me an earful about how i just screwed over her entire family because they were depending on this income she's got two adult brothers late twenties and her parents early fifties in my opinion someone can work i told her that i would have still helped her if she was honest with me about the business but that lying to me and adding me to her supply chain is crappy as hell the conversation ended and so did our ties ever since then her business has seen a considerable decrease in public interaction and some still leave comments about the crap she pulled people have thanked me for speaking up as she had done the same to them but they stayed quiet to preserve ties others have called me an [ __ ] for destroying the business of a relative in my opinion the business was destroyed the moment she started slithering and it was only a matter of time before someone spoke up i do feel bad if i genuinely screwed over the rest of her family which is why i'm wondering if i should have just shut up so reddit was i the [ __ ] for speaking the truth no i think she absolutely deserved what she got in this instance she's running a shady business on instagram and i think she did deserve to be called out for this if she's going to burn every bridge with her relatives and friends just to make some money and enable two young men who should be working and a 50 year old mom who could be working then yeah she sucks for that you don't suck for speaking the truth not the [ __ ] now in the comments okay smell 8260 says not the [ __ ] and she probably avoided customs jews by having you import them rather than doing it properly she is deluded to think that you wouldn't a find out and b be pissed off that she hadn't been honest in c feel like she was making an obscene profit off the back of her deception endopee replies thank you the more i think of it the angrier i get she basically threw me into some under the table supply chain that resulted in her profits it makes me so angry to think that her luscious lifestyle was funded by the social work of other relatives and friends and yeah honestly i'm glad she didn't think her actions through and posted it on the instagram page that i follow smart move look she made you an accomplice to importing goods without paying the appropriate import fee that can cause real problems not the [ __ ] not the [ __ ] evading customs judy is a crime and she just made you an accessory after the fact this could still come back to bite you if the authorities ever investigate her or her business they could come after you as well if you already don't have a lawyer now would be a good time to at least look at reputable firms just in case you need one and edit various people have said i'm overreacting the authorities won't care or the exact defense i'm citing doesn't exist under canadian law to them i say this regardless of the criminal liability or likelihood of criminal investigation and charges there's always the chance of it occurring resulting in time and expense to fight the charges even if they get them dismissed and even being charged can have deleterious effects on gaining employment especially in sensitive areas or occupations if the op ever decides for example to enter law enforcement a very detailed background check will be made if it transpires that a family member is involved in invasion of customs duty and the eop was ever even tangentially involved that could scupper her chances also the erp said native country in their post which suggests that they might not be a canadian citizen if it comes to light that they've been involved in any kind of smuggling that could affect their residency leave to remain future citizenship application etc they might as one other poster has already suggested be subject to extra scrutiny in searches if they leave and return to canada and have every little thing checked for potential border and customs violations if they are not a citizen they could even be denied re-entry in short the op's cousin has exposed them to an unknown number of potential criminal civil and personal consequences that could surface at any time without warning there's a difference between unlikely and impossible never underestimate how bureaucracy can conspire to make your life hell and opie replies thank you so much i'll certainly look into that and see if i can cover my ass if need be it sucks that there may be so many others who have also had a hand in this without ever finding out i would back all the evidence up somewhere just in case for a start and ope replies certainly i've got screenshots of her telling me how beautiful she her mother and four other cousins would look in these gorgeous series that i just bought and i've got a screenshot of her telling me what she'll pay in the whole shebang now back to the post there's an edit wow this really is blowing up and i understand that there are mixed feelings about it don't worry i recognize that i may have overshot my response to the situation i'll explain my judgment to bring it up publicly and hopefully that helps everyone make their decisions i can definitely see why i was rash for bringing it up publicly i do still think that even though it was an [ __ ] move on my part dealing with it privately wouldn't have gone anywhere if i had brought it up to her first as from her natural character there's a big chance she could have blocked me off from the only social media that her business is on so i couldn't have spread the message to the poor souls buying those clothes i feel like i got very lucky that she screwed up and posted it to the page that i was following if i had brought it up to her privately she would have realized her mistake and been more cunning with the way she went about this in the future i.e make sure she blocks the transporter from the page so they have no idea i felt like i took this one mess up and didn't let go of the chance also i think the whole she would have used it as a lesson learned thing would have only really applied if she was unknowingly doing something wrong and was willing to take criticism or learn from a situation however seeing that she has repeatedly lied to people and she was 23 years old at the time as well it was clear that she was doing this with malicious intent as in she knew she was lying she knew that it was wrong and she still went with it that didn't sit right with me and edit too a lot of people are asking why i didn't just say no i've detailed this a bit more in the comments but essentially there was a massive family expectation for me to help her out because of this supposed wedding there was a lot of pressure and guilt tripping that resulted every time i tried to argue that i needed space in my luggage stuff like oh you can't do this for family because you need to shop so much right if you can't even do this for your cousin imagine what happens when your parents get old i guess they'll end up in a senior home because you can't make space for them too it gets brutal and this kind of stuff is deeply rooted in my culture i know that there will be some people who don't understand this and that's fine just hold the assumption that i had no other choice but agreed to help her and our next post is by user sad house 27 titled am i the [ __ ] for telling my friend her parents bought her house not her backstory i female28 have a friend female28 who purchased a house late last year it's an awesome two-story townhouse and i've been over there plenty of times to help out with moving and decorating and for hanging out as mentioned in the title her parents purchased the house for her and her partner i truly have no issue with this as the housing market is terrible for buyers so more power to them for being homeowners i recently unfortunately inherited my parents house which is three bedrooms out in the sticks the issue we went appliance shopping because most of the stuff in the house was 10 to 15 years old we were standing with an employee who i had asked to recommend some smaller items like toasters and kettles when the employee asked if i was moving out as a general chit chat i told him i was moving and he asked whether i bought or rented i told him bought because it was just easier and less awkward than telling him i inherited the house he told me that was cool and began talking about the toasters again when my friend cut in that i had inherited my house not purchased it the employee went quiet and i gave her what was that kind of face i was taken aback and she continued on saying yeah i purchased my house i asked does it really matter i'm here to buy some kitchen appliances not tell this guy my personal issues she grinned and said it's just for the record which made me more confused and annoyed you can probably see where this is going and i replied oh okay then if it's just for the record your parents purchased your house for you the employee quickly retreated and she walked outside of the shop i caught up with her and she said i was a massive [ __ ] for pointing out that she couldn't afford to own without her parents help i returned with the very similar my parents also helped me with getting a house too just in a really terrible way my partner agrees with me saying that she's the one that's opened that door but our other friends is split almost 50 50. edits holy hell this blew up sorry i wasn't clear with my friends being 50 50. half think i'm not the [ __ ] and the others think that we're both [ __ ] and i shouldn't have escalated the problem now in the comments not the [ __ ] she doesn't get to be catty and look down on you for how you each got your homes it seems like an odd disconnect that she feels superior about it at all and op replies that's what i thought she never said anything generally caddy or made any comments similar prior to this it came out of nowhere and it truly left me speechless for about five seconds not the [ __ ] but did they buy the entire house for her all cash or did they just pay the down payment or are the parents making them pay for the gift in other ways but still it is an absurd hill to pitch a battle on in the middle of appliance shopping looking at toasters made me want to remind you your parents died hey remember how your parents are toast now oh my god not the [ __ ] your friends definitely is the employee probably just wanted to know if you rent your house or own it but the way that he voted the question totally merited the i bought it answer you didn't want to get more personal than that but your friend decided to start playing games is she normally competitive with you because that's what it sounds like this whole thing is just weird and uncomfortable i'm sorry about the circumstances of your homeownership and opie replies no she's not competitive with me at all she's been very sympathetic and helpful with everything up until this issue or so you think this she's not usually openly competitive because in her mind she usually wins and doesn't feel the need to say anything now she's starting to think op's house is better than her townhouse especially with opie fixing it up so she has to say something to tear op down and build herself up and not the [ __ ] holy crap what would possess anyone to say this and then grin i would argue that any person that revels in pointing out your deep personal loss to one up you to a total stranger is not your friend it's possible that the friend simply wasn't thinking about what she was actually saying as someone else pointed out people often hear inheritance and think of being given stuff but forget that someone actually died for that to happen so perhaps she wanted to simply point out op didn't pay for the house but overlooked the death part to that moment she's still the [ __ ] in that scenario for the purposes of this sub anyway but doesn't necessarily prove she's a bad person am i the [ __ ] for refusing to let my stepson return home without punishment after he ruined my daughter's book collection so my biological daughter 12 susan likes to collect and read old children's books she's become an incredible reader she had problems with reading and learning before and we were advised to encourage her to read and ever since she started reading which she does regularly her skills improved she also reads to her two-year-old sister every night i have a 16 year old stepson levi who can be a hothead sometimes we don't have a son dad relationship but i respect him and he respects me though he can act quite mean and selfish towards me and his sisters he would throw stuff away that belongs to us over small arguments and teases susan for spending a lot of time to read calling her grandma my wife and i discussed his behavior and had conversations and agreed on punishments but levi would go to his dad's place whenever he caused trouble then have his dad yell at me for wanting to discuss a suitable punishment then levi comes home days later expecting me to let go of what he did every time it's frustrating i got a call at work from susan saying levi took her entire book collection and threw them in the pool after she refused to lend him and his friends her camera for his trip my wife helped get them out but they were wet and some were torn it was horrific because some of those books are hard to get and meant a lot to susan as a part of her life i was so mad at levi i came home to have a conversation with my wife to decide on a punishment but he already packed a small bag and went to his dad's i asked my wife how could she let him basically run after doing this and she said he called his dad and he came to pick him up after susan said that i was coming home to deal with the problem i went to his dad's house and he refused to let me see him i told him how levi was hiding from consequences and his dad tried to justify why levi was acting out for blaming me for how me and susan treat him he even said he'd get cps involved if i ever try to punish him because i'm not his dad i have no right adding what leave i did was a reaction to my daughter being mean to him he told me to leave because levi won't come home till i promise not to do anything about what he did and put it in writing i told him levi should stay there with him then he's not to come back until he gets proper punishment his dad argued it's his mom's house too and called my wife and she asked to let this go and we'll figure out some way to resolve it but i don't think it's fair for susan to have her books ruined and levi getting away with it they're asking me to let it go but this will only encourage levi to do worse if i don't deal with it now it's been two weeks and my in-laws say i was out of line for banning levi from coming home ander telling me to step back but i refused edit levi's dad thinks that because i'm not his bio dad that i have no right to punish him for whatever he does in the house in the past his dad caused issues when i used to take levi's electronics that his dad bought as punishment then i got talked out of punishing him every time he did something unacceptable whether to me or his sisters i've arranged for family therapy but levi's dad refused to let him go and i'd also like to mention that my in-laws said that levi is willing to apologize to susan and so this should be enough to get this over with but i kept saying no and for that i'm being considered at fault i don't think you're at fault in this situation i think this kid is indeed just trying to run from the law and yet he's being enabled by everyone else in his family and they're telling you to let it go i feel like you are in the right for not letting it go i don't think you should it is great that you're standing up for your daughter but i do wonder how long this will go on for before you see any retribution for his disgusting actions for this one morally not the [ __ ] now in the comments reddit user says not the [ __ ] if your wife refuses to punish her son then you need to divorce her or at the very least move into a separate house with susan and your youngest daughter until levi is out of the house for good if your stepson continues to get away with hurting susan with no consequence susan is going to suffer greatly this is a hill to die on and edit to everyone telling me that divorce is a crazy suggestion and is an overreaction i would like to point out my suggestion specified that he should do it if his wife refuses to punish her son i'm not saying that he shouldn't try to convince his wife first i'm saying that if she continues to go along with her ex-husband and refuse to punish her son when her son does horrible things to his daughter then op needs to separate his daughters from the stepson if hope he does manage to get his wife on his side then no obviously he shouldn't need to divorce his wife agree 100 this is a hill to die on not just for the daughter but also levi he needs not only the consequences of his actions but intervention from a trained professional i'd start with selling everything he has at your house and using the money to start replacing her books abe books is a good website for purchasing hard defined books another vote for this being the hill to die on your daughter needs some justice here not the [ __ ] you don't teach respect by acting disrespectfully children are smart enough to see hypocrisy for what it is justice is banning the boy from the house stealing from the boy would only be revenge solving the issue would be dealing with a mum who lets this happen my thoughts are only that he needs to replace the books if he won't do it voluntarily then it needs to be done involuntarily the daughter doesn't need to be involved in this fight dad should give her a credit card number and free reign within reason to search for and replace her books that's not how that works edits because lots of people seem to be stuck on this wedding i'm not saying this isn't how the adult world works i'm saying this is not how the world of volatile blended families and complex custody arrangements works if it's involuntary he's not learning to accept reasonable consequences for his actions and that is the point here if rp is hell-bent on continuing his current relationship with his wife because that's the only way levi is ever going to potentially change his mindset and behavior towards his step-dad and step-sister selling his stuff will make the money back but it will only infuriate him further as long as it's his step-dad that's the only one behind the charge this is horrible parenting advice and will only give levi's bio father a legitimate reason to say that the boy is being mistreated at op's house don't give him any ammo when he doesn't have a leg to stand on currently if it was an inappropriate thing for levi to do to her possessions because he was upset it's an inappropriate thing for op to do to levi's possessions because he's upset unexposed is by user deleted titled am i the [ __ ] for telling my mother-in-law and mother i'm not here to babysit my husband so i 30 female have been married to my husband for a year we're expecting our first child and it's a really tricky pregnancy for me my husband grew up as a mama's boy but throughout our relationship that dynamic changed and he became more independent his mother always cooked for him cleaned for him even when he was an adult he was never acquired or taught how to do house chores he learnt all that through me i've been working a really hard job since i was 25 i work at a warehouse and i always work overtime because my boss is horrible but that's another story my husband has been working from home even before the pandemic now my mother-in-law and my own mother call me a bad wife for not caring for my husband properly they claim it's my job to do the cooking and cleaning my mom justifies my mother-in-law intervening in our household matters she says i'm not a proper housewife my husband complained to my mum today that i'm too lazy that i haven't cooked a proper meal in a week and i only cook easy quick meals i'm working a 12-hour job while pregnant and he's working from home my job is also a two-hour drive from the house i'm away 14 hours a day overworking myself while he does nothing to help around the house and the few times he does help he rubs it in my face while calling me lazy and complaining to my mum and his mum while i was at work today my mother-in-law called me and complained about how her son has lost weight since he married me and how i'm not feeding him and she'd never let him marry me if she knew how crappy i am as a wife i told her her son is a grown man who is fully capable of taking care of himself i also told her to never bother me again while i'm at work and i hung up my mum called me a few minutes later to also complain and i told her i'm not my husband's babysitter i'm his wife and if she and mother-in-law want to act like babysitters to him then be my guest i was having a chat with my friend from work about that and she told me i'm the [ __ ] because that's what i signed up for when i married my husband and i should take responsibility for when i'm not doing my wife duties the right way she said that i had let online feminists get in my mind and i forgot what a proper wife is like and i'm being an ass by trying to rebel against my husband while also offending my mother-in-law and mom so am i the [ __ ] now in the comments asukanu says not the [ __ ] you married a man not a three-year-old you work more and these two mamas are poisoning his mind i mean honestly opie are you a time traveller riding this from just after world war one and you work in a factory and your soldier has just come home because that would make more sense than this the picture you're painting has absolutely no place in the presence you work more you're pregnant he's a grown ass man not the [ __ ] and honestly i think he'd be happier leaving him to your nosy mothers moving closer to your job and being a single mom at least then you'd only have one helpless baby to care for not the [ __ ] it's not the 1950s and if he's really starving he's perfectly capable of getting up off his lazy ass and cooking his behavior and laziness is quite disgraceful really and i'm sorry that you're married to somebody and have a family with such misogynistic views not only is it not the 1950s she's not a housewife she's a working woman who contributes to the household finances exactly if she signed up for doing all the cooking and cleaning then he signed up for being the breadwinner and covering the household financially if you want to act like it's the 50s it goes both ways not the [ __ ] but your friend is right you did know what you signed up for when you got married a mama's boy who doesn't know how to take care of himself and who expects people with a vagina to be a maid and a chef without complaining you are going to be a single mother when you're already married that is sad he didn't want a wife he wanted a caretaker the word i've recently learned is bang made our next post is by user mom looks bad titles am i the [ __ ] for making my mom look bad so my female 16 mum has this belief that she should only pay for the essentials food water shelter the cheapest phones she could get her hands on and just enough clothes so we don't freeze or walk around naked and we're on our own for everything else we also don't get an allowance and in my neighborhood it's nearly impossible to get a job before you're 16. when i was in the sixth grade my teacher had this system where he'd give us one minute after the bell rang to unpack once all of us were in our seats he'd stop the timer and write the remaining time left on the board once it added up to an hour we would get a pizza party the cost for the pizza parties was two dollars for pizza and six dollars for a smoothie or milkshake i didn't have money and my mom wouldn't give me money so i was the only person without a smoothie or milkshake at these parties the teacher usually felt bad for me and gave me pizza anyway it was kind of humiliating sitting there and watching the teacher pass out everyone's orders and being the only person without any food or getting the leftover slice of pizza in march when all the schools and daycares shut down and people were desperate for a nanny i started working 12 plus hours a day 7 days a week and made pretty good money i still babysat 4 days a week during the school year and i'm working 6 days a week now so i have a pretty good amount of money coming in so i can do things with my class and leave when i'm 18. my sister female 11 is going to sixth grade and will have the same teacher so at the beginning of the year i told her to let me know when they have pizza parties and i'll pay for it we were staying with my grandparents when she got her schedule and when i told her and my grandma asked what i meant and why would i pay for her pizza parties i told her that mum refuses to pay for anything for us that isn't deemed essential and i told her about how i was the only kid in class without a milkshake and stuck with the leftover slice of pizza if i even got any my mum and my grandparents had been fighting since and it's kind of my fault so i wanted to know if i was the [ __ ] edit i saw a lot of comments on this so i wanted to put it in an edit my mom can afford to give us more than the bare minimum she goes out to eat multiple times a week and goes on weekend trips at least once every other month and about my dad he died when i was six so he can't really help i think your mum just really sucks in general and there's no universe that you'd be the [ __ ] for making a mum look bad it's good that you told your grandparents about this so hopefully they can change the situation but really best advice in this situation is to not feel bad about it keep making that money don't let her take any and be the best version of yourself you can be and get out of her household as soon as you can not the [ __ ] now in the comments son of a gunderson says not the [ __ ] they asked and you explained if your mother knew that it would make her look awful she shouldn't have done it you didn't make your mom look bad opie your mom did that all by herself you were being a good sister and stay out of it if your grandparents hopefully put her in her place not the [ __ ] true opie could have easily thought eh it's a growing experience like i had to go through but a totally useless and embarrassing one to have to learn as a child good on them for already being a better role model than their own mother not the [ __ ] if your mother was embarrassed by her actions then she should not have acted that way she's ashamed of herself and is trying to defend her actions to her mother it has nothing to do with you this if you can't defend an action which more than one person knows of as ben franklin said three can keep a secret if two of them are dead then she damn well shouldn't have pulled that move she made herself look bad not the [ __ ] and if anything you're a goddamn saint all you did was tell the truth and spare your sister the pain that you felt agreed opie how was this your fault did you choose to be the only kid without food did you even choose to work almost full-time hours while still a teenager or was that something that you had to do because of the choices of others none of this is your fault those are just the consequences of your mother's actions coming home to roost not the [ __ ] and our next post is by user arctic foxy titled am i the [ __ ] for telling my mother we won't be going to her wedding since she bleached my daughter's hair so my mom is getting married at the end of july my daughter who was 11 was going to be her flower girl i know she's a bit old for the role but she's the youngest granddaughter over the holiday july 4th were in the usa my husband and i were both on call so my daughter stayed with my brother and his wife who went over to my mom and her fiance's house while they were there my mum bleached my daughter's hair without even asking me we dye her hair semi-regularly with arctic fox which is safe for kids about a week ago we dyed it a very pretty blue my mum detests unnatural hair colors and has been hounding me to fix it for the wedding my daughter was fine with being a brunette for a little while when i asked i was going to let her blue fade out naturally then put a dark brown over it a bit before the wedding i guess that wasn't soon enough for my mother obviously i'd never bleach a child's hair but my mother in all her glory decided it was a perfect time to fix her hair for me this woman used to be a stylist over a decade ago but she should know better i am furious her hair is so dry and damaged and the blue isn't even out it's like this splotchy faded green blue with spots of blondes i don't want to put any product on it now because i don't want to risk more damage the only good thing is she didn't touch the roots i have an appointment on thursday at the salon i go to for her to try and fix it i told my mum we won't be going to her wedding which is causing a commotion i've been getting a lot of she's a control freak it's just how she is it's not a big deal it's just hair from almost everyone i cannot believe my sister-in-law who's usually the best babysitter let this happen my brother says i can just fix it like it's so easy my daughter hates her hair and expected a pretty bleach blonde like billy eilish which is what her grandma promised her not a faded mess people are acting like i'm overreacting and that my mum's best intentions trumps my own parental choices i know people already judge me for letting my kid have coloured hair they don't see how bleach is different i think your mom is a control freak and is very ludicrous in this situation um and everyone is enabling her for some reason once again they're all agreeing with your mom's decision because it's easier to blame you for this than to poke the bear that is your stupid mother obviously i don't agree with her actions in this one and you should continue to disagree with them i think you're not the [ __ ] in this situation don't go to her wedding if she's going to continue to do things like this now in the comments not the [ __ ] it's just how she is the classic rug sweep when dealing with toxic individuals how would you characterize your relationship with your mom otherwise you of course are right to be upset about her extreme boundary stomping the issue is not really about whether you should attend the wedding but how to reset your relationship with your mom so that she never oversteps again does your daughter still want to participate in the wedding could you attend without having her play a part in your mother's fantasy adding i've come to realize that's just who x is has always been said due to the lack of holding someone accountable for their actions people enable such behavior and excuse it because it's easier than to deal with the tantrums and outbursts hold your ground opie if you do not this will only continue as your daughter continues to grow your daughter will see how you feel slash love for her by what you do now and in the future stop the abuse and show your daughter she can trust you to protect her regardless of the situation even if the abuse is coming from the other family members then you say this is just how i am not the [ __ ] your mother is a real piece of work this is your child not hers you mentioned that other people called her a control freak assuming that she has repeatedly crossed boundaries before i'd say you're pretty safe to lay down extra guardrails and deny her access to your child if she can't adhere to your terms and also i can see a world in which your sister-in-law gets some flack for allowing it to happen but if your mother is a strong personality using the most diplomatic term possible it stands to reason your sister-in-law is afraid of pissing your mother off it would have been nice if she had alerted to you to what was about to go down and if you haven't yet it might be good for both of you to have a private conversation about what took place and how you'd like her to handle these things in the future my family is full of him strong personalities and the family members who married in have a fear of speaking up because they feel like it isn't their place to express an opinion or react to something regarding the blood family members of the family alright guys that's the end of the video friendly reminder that i'm now posting daily on my second channel marky 2. if you want to laugh at memes with me link is down in the description below on phone you just click that little arrow underneath the video i also want to say thank you to all my channel members and patreon subscribers your names are currently floating down the screen here and i love to see all of you guys thank you for joining me on this journey thank you for supporting me i really appreciate it if you see yourself on screen i want you to give yourself a big pat on the back for being amazing as always and thank you for supporting me again i do hope that you guys have a good day night sleep whatever it is you're up to um i'll see you in the next video bye

Channel: Markee

Views: 22,269

Keywords: aita, amitheasshole, r/aita, r/amitheasshole, aita reddit, markee, markee reddit, markee aita, markee amitheasshole

Id: hplHaU0c8xw

Length: 124min 28sec (7468 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 07 2021