People Who Drink Diet Coke

[Music] [Music] best part of waking up is Diet Coke in your cup that folders folders I don't drink that devil juice I'll get to the law in Marlene's let me have some DC first now to wake up what I don't get is if butch can take a cigarette break why can't I take a DC break four to six milligrams of caffeine wolf I'm about to be hopped up like a key bump at a Bon Jovi concert there's two flavors I like in this world diet coke and sex people say diet coke is addictive I'll tell you what's addictive black tar heroin day I tried diet coke cuz the day I gave up on cigarettes and alcohol I'll tell you would get enough of these I feel the same what wine drinkers can do but I can't your Pepsi is good if you drive a Prius nothing better tastes like the floor of a movie theater I wear skirts come on now whiskers is tweaking I remember my first diet coke you guys hear that that's better than an or gas I'm gonna give you this opportunity much long come on now whiskers think of done come dinner a little Oh a little I'm in a lot I'll be right back you cameraman hold on I'll be right back damn cat always getting on that goddamn roof how many diet cokes you had to get up there I got a drink three just get on my son's bunk bed you've been getting in my diet coke Ian how you got so much energy up there chasing birds and [ __ ] reminds me my PCP days I would drink regular coke but regular coke is bad for you this got veggies in it aspartame what the hell are you doing up there you little freaky [ __ ] and potassium like potatoes bananas there's no bananas in here no bananas have potassium I don't like bananas I don't like the shape of it well that's why he only got seven more lives you know cuz you don't wanna know goddamn diet coke do you want the coke or not no getting even get on there you know I'm saying camouflage Jim Gordon Oh Waffle House come on help all right now honey I'm going over to Bruce's to watch the fight you know Oh oh [ __ ] oh thank you so much I did not mean to drop you like that I'm so sorry oh my ex is live in tech you know jack damn that's a funny way to spell the Hat coat I don't need it honey top guns on I don't need Jack Daniels Jack Daniels needs me my youngest told me he don't like the taste of Diet Coke I said you don't like the taste of America if there was a fight between Jack Daniels and Diet Coke guess who'd win Jack Daniels for sure but this is a close runner-up I'll tell you what's wrong with America is everybody's addicted to the damn Starbucks you seen the lines for the coffee there it's ridiculous I never once seen a line that rotted in front of the Diet Coke section actually cut down two of these per day which is good considering I used to do two Pat's a heroin a day honey you think I can get this past TSA one time a waiter offering me Pepsi he said is that okay you know said is that okay I said is it okay that I slashed all four your tires I did do that got a family reunion down in Arizona hey you know think I'll sling one of these bad boys in there Oh whoo you hear that means it's working you know ever since my wife left me diet cokes the only thing to accept me going on my second third marriage honey you didn't tell me we had a sport I mean I can make my own Diet Coke now you hear that it sounds like the engines revving at a Daytona 500 Gunther get on over here get the door Jeff Foxworthy's aren't I used to think first time my son ever said a full Toby Keith lyric how was the greatest sound I'd ever heard I was wrong you want to miss Jeff Foxworthy well I guess you want to miss don't hang out with your friends you think about it the three greatest people on our plan are all named Jeff Jeff Foxworthy Jeff Gordon Jeff dumb why couldn't I be named Jeff speaking of Jeff Foxworthy one of you guys must think you're a comedian Diet Pepsi Diet Coke more like diet ketamine this stuff got me hopped up I'll fight a tree frog that's funny I don't remember checking my calendar and it being April first you're gonna Pepsi this foot up your ass if you keep bringing this goddamn devil's now in here I need help hey Dad you know if you look in the bottom of your diet coke you can see Carrie Underwood naked bottom believe ya where would you put news oh we're out of diet cokes okay yeah I should be she'll be fine should be just one day you know I can still taste it hey guys don't do diet coke [Music]

Channel: Trevor Wallace

Views: 4,574,131

Rating: 4.9694486 out of 5

Keywords: trevor wallace, trevor walace, travis wallace, white claw, kyle, monster, bang energy, trevor wallace cherdleys

Id: MbT0Z-KKq4s

Length: 5min 11sec (311 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 02 2020