- Yes! Another British
chef making Asian food. Uncle Roger gonna review
Nigella Lawson making ramen. - I'm in no mood for that noise
and chaos of a noodle bar. So I make my own. - Oh my God, her face
and kitchen so pretty. Nigella Lawson is M.I.L.F, Mother I Like to Fry rice for. but can she make ramen? Let's see. Let's see. Before we start, do you know my nephew Nigel have his own podcast channel. And sometime he review thing also, like this one, he review
a Chinese dating show. Go check it out. He trying to follow Uncle Roger footstep. Let Uncle Roger know how he do. Go watch and subscribe to Rice
to Meet You podcast channel. Link in description. Go click it, go click it. (static crackling) (dramatic music) - I've been told in no uncertain. - Haiyaa, just start video, and I already see it. BBC. And also why she hang all the colander from the ceiling? Haiyaa. Nigella, you millionaire woman, but you can't afford one drawer. Haiyaa. - Terms that no Japanese person would ever make ramen at home. Thing is when I need the cosseting that only a bowl of ramen can give, I'm in no mood for that noise
and chaos of a noodle bar. - Uncle Roger have to admit, this is the most beautiful kitchen I seen. This kitchen too sexy. This not atmosphere for making food. This atmosphere for making baby. How many Christmas light
you need to make ramen? - (pot clinking) So I make my own. And I start with the Japanese broth, dashi. - Dashi, Okay correct. Good start. But this camera guy. I think he know what he doing. Yes, of course it a he. Why showing us this angle? I think, all my nephew dirt lick standing up now Haiyaa. Pay attention to food, not
to the two other thing. Niece and nephew, don't be dirty. Uncle Roger watching this video because I like ramen. Not for any other reason. - And what goes in is all important. Dried shiitake mushrooms already sliced. - See that angle again. - And we are firmly back in
the universe of umami now. And some ginger, lot of gingers. Some might say an
excessive amount of ginger but I can never have too
much of its spicy warmth. - Okay. I like that
she don't even measure. She just use feeling. Or a chef once say she just throw. - You just throw. - But why this motion at the end? I think this just for camera. When Uncle Roger say, use finger, that not what I mean. Proper chef, super busy in restaurant. No time for elegant fingering. - So I don't soak the dried
mushrooms because I do it as I cook. This needs to come to a boil, but first it'll stir and I can't, I should be ashamed to admit, eat with chopsticks,
but I can stir with one. - Of course you can't eat with chopstick. You're supposed to use
two of them, Haiyaa. I think Nigella don't
know how chopstick work. Who stir with one chopstick? So weird. That like wearing only one shoe. Nigella, why don't you give Uncle Roger your phone number and address? I send you my chopstick for free. (jazzy music) Ex-wife Auntie Helen gone for good. So Uncle Roger available. - And just about the one thing I remember from physics at school
thank you, Mr. Clark, is that if you put a
lid on (metal clinking), everything comes to the boil faster. - If that the only thing
you remember from physics, then Mr. Clark fucked up. Niece and nephew, don't go to that school. (upbeat music) - And it boils. And you can see the mushrooms
beginning to plump up. But they're going to plump up even more and lose their flavor into the broth, so, - Wait, what? What? Replay? - They're going to plump up even more and lose their flavor into the broth. - You only put mushroom
in broth for two minute and you think it gonna
flavor the broth, Haiyaa. That not enough time. What reality (water burbling) you live in? The mushroom just met the broth. They don't even have
time to be friend yet. Where the flavor? You need an hour, at least. - Lid on. (metal clanking) So everything stays trapped in the pan. (leave crunching) This is baby bok choy but, - Why her knife so small? - Any leafy greens like this would do. - Asian cooking, we love using big knife. It faster. Your knife so small. By the time you finish cutting,
there will be COVID-20. (vegetable crunching) - But I make it like this (stem crunching) because the first time I ever cooked it, I came back (stem
crunching) home one evening, I came back (stem
crunching) home one evening, I came back (stem
crunching) home one evening, - Nigella is saying to
all the nephew out there, don't think dirty, Or else this is what I
gonna do to your dirt lick. (drumming music) (laughing) (signal beeping) - I came back (stem
crunching) home one evening, so ravenous and just opened the fridge and opened my cupboards. And this is what I had. - Her fridge only have bok choy, Haiyaa. - I am all about the radishes these days. Always have them in the fridge. Food of the gods. - Food of god? No, no, no. (bass boosting) Food of the god is MSG. God don't like radish. God like magic white powder. I hear Nigella like
the magic white powder. Oh so (laughing) (knocking on table) (static crackling) - I am all about the radishes these days. Food of the gods. - Radish is food of rabbit, not food of god. If radish is food of god, Uncle Roger rather go to hell. (lid clinking) - And now into this
delicate but deep broth go. - Not deep, no flavor. - Of the baby bok choy. (splattering) Along with the peppery
juiciness of the radishes. - This woman really like her radish. Is she lobbyist for big radish? Usually for ramen, the topping and broth, you make separately, because if bok choy in broth too long, it become soggy and gross. Also nobody really put
radish in ramen, Haiyaa. - And now a final flurry of flavorings to augment what's already in the pan. A husky hit of miso. A husky hit of miso. - Uncle Roger like watching this video because I learning so
many new English word. Who knew husky hit just meant tablespoon? This woman English so good. Uncle Roger gonna call it my mi-cro-wa-veh from now on. - Milk, full fat, which I've warmed in the microwave. A dash of soy. (water spattering) - Oh that not enough. - And the merest drop
of toasted sesame oil. - No, don't, don't put
merest drop, Haiyaa. Use more. Use more. So stingy, this woman. Is she trying to save money? Also she have her own
crazy measurement system. - A husky hit of dash and the merest drop. - Haiyaa. Just say use feeling. She describe her cooking
like she writing poem. Is she chef or is she English teacher? - And the leaves of the
baby bok choy go in. And another stir. - One chopstick again. - The leaves need the merest wilting and miso mustn't be boiled. - Miso cannot boil. She correct. But this not right way to make flavoring for your ramen soup. Japanese people, they call
this soup flavoring tare. Tare is the most important
element in ramen. Ramen without tare is like
Uncle Roger without orange polo, or like Jamie Oliver without chili jam. If your ramen don't
have tare, you fuck up. But tare not made like this. You make the miso tare separately. And then put in bowl at the end. Stirring in miso paste is not
making proper tare, Haiyaa. Nigella, just use MSG. Don't bother with your
half-ass miso flavoring. MSG make everything better, including your shit ramen skill. (lid clanking) - My ramen requires two more elements. First, an egg. (clanking) (egg shell crackling) - Egg too white. You need to marinate. - Second, noodles. I mean, I cook these before. - Noodle. Usually ramen noodle yellow in color. Why this noodle so white ? Kinda sus. I think it not ramen noodle. - But it doesn't matter that they're cold, because the heat of the
broth will warm them. (dramatic music) (water splattering) I could eat this just as it is, but I, I feel it incumbent
upon me to arrange it in a calming Japanese order. - Where got calming? Where got calming? (echo) This bowl of noodle
stressing Uncle Roger out. - Arrange it in a calming Japanese order. - You call this arranging. You're not arranging. You just poking. Uncle Roger never say, I gonna arrange my table and then go (poking). (dramatic music) (ceramic clinking) - All there remains for me to do is, - Okay, egg yolk a bit runny. It perfect, I give her that - Sprinkle over, the green
parts of a spring onion, - Spring onion. Good, good. - And a little bit of dried chili. - Dry chili. Uncle Roger would prefer using dry chili to make your tare instead
of sprinkling at end. More flavor. - And I don't want to puncture
the mood of cozy serenity, but I do have a comedy contraption with which to eat my ramen. - Is she using spork, spork for ramen? Haiyaa. Maybe that why Nigella don't
go to noodle bar anymore. She banned from all of them because she bring her own spork there - Fork for the noodles. Spoon for the broth. Or just cut out the middleman. - (deep sigh) Ramen have five component. Soup, tare, noodle, topping, and oil. Soup, she used dashi. Okay. (bell dinging) Tare, don't exist. (buzzer buzzes) You can't just put miso
in and call it tare. Noodle. (buzzer buzzes) It look like she used
wrong type of noodle. Topping, egg and spring
onion, (bell dinging), okay. Oil. She only use two (buzzer buzzes) drop of sesame oil. Haiyaa not enough. So she only get two (bell dinging) out of five component right, Haiyaa. At least this ramen somewhat homemade. She didn't just use instant
ramen and put popping on there. So still better than Jamie
Oliver and his packet rice. Nigella, Uncle Roger single now. Hopefully one day, I can
make egg fry rice for you. Come get husky hit of Uncle Roger. Sorry children. (echo) (signal beeping) Proper chef, super busy in restaurant. No time for elegant fingering. Just throw. (laughs) like, I like, get fingering. (laughs) This is gonna be my dirtiest video. (signal beeping) Nigella, let Uncle Rogers send you one pair of chopstick for free. Just give Uncle Roger your
phone number and address. (laughing) That pervy look. Oh I'm so pervy. Sorry, Nigella, 'cause it's
just a comedy video, okay. So I really hope Nigella has
a sense of humor about this. (laughing)
(signal beeping) I hear Nigella like
the magic white powder. Oh so (laughs) A bit mean (laughs) That's so funny. Ooh. (signal beeping) Nigella, she give off the
girl next door energy. If you live next to escort agency. (laughing)
(signal beeping) Nigella, she give off the hot mum, white, older, sexy, and a little bit drunk (signal beeping) - That launched a thousand noodle soups (water splattering) 'cause I just as often
use vegetable stock. - No, no, no. Don't use vegetable stock. Dashi taste like umami. Make from seaweed and fish. Vegetable tastes like sad. If you vegetarian, and
you want to eat ramen, just don't. You don't deserve ramen. Go eat your leaf.
