News Crew Plans Terrible Trip to the Beach | Breaking News

[Music] from West Hollywood California the only news team that doesn't know what's on the teleprompter before they read it anyone who laughs or breaks loses points this is breaking news hello and welcome to breaking news the show where we don't know what we're about to say we're not allowed to smile or laugh I'm Mike crap and I'm Lacey crap our top story tonight we're all going to the beach that's right this weekend your news team will load up in Lacey's car and head to wait I'm sorry wouldn't your car be better it's just it's a long drive and in your car get such good mileage yeah sure but your car has those big back seats so we could have sex you we're gonna take your car there's nothing like a Saturday at the ocean it's the thrill of walking on sand in flip-flops combined with the excitement of carrying a chair beach chairs that winning combination of flimsy and very heavy how's the water you asked polluted all our coast but the acne and yeast infection it gives me will be worth it for the pleasure of touching seaweed and stepping on sharp Rob and Joe get me started on parking what a joy the lot nearby is run by a dude who looks like a cigarette holding a hand-painted sign it will be full by 6:45 in the morning so we'll end up parking in a neighborhood and walking 11 miles with a cooler a joy I can't wait to think that every shadow in the water isn't stark here to give us a forecast this weekend is Ryan Crabb hi I'm Ryan crap here to tell you about the wet weather we've got coming it's tough to put into words so I'm going to make what about the sounds right now to get the point across [Music] that's pretty much it I know that's bad news for all of you outdoorsy folks but don't worry it's going to dry out soon how dry we'll again I've got some flour right here I'm going to put a spoonful of it in my mouth so I can imitate how dry it will be ah fantastic it is a very large bowl of flour here is a spoonful of it don't worry though it'll get warm again oh my god how hot will it go I'll rub this flour on my face like it's makeup to demonstrate hotness I would love to know the name of exactly who wrote this one ah back to you in the studio thanks Ryan finally tonight we go to recap reporter Ali crap Ali are you with us I am Mike Ali I have a terrible head injury and as such my short-term memory is gone would you repeat everything that's been said in the broadcast so far word for word from memory certainly hi welcome to breaking news where we don't know what we're about to say and we can't smile or laugh then Laci even though you're a married man said she's gonna have sex with you in the back of your car lots of space back there there's a lot of space like there and then Ryan in a bunch of the flower here you go then Ryan did one of these things and then put it on his face and some of the rocks at the beach are pretty sharp back to you Mike and Lacey thanks Sally that does it for us but before we go we'd like to announce that today's loser is ally thank you for watching flower tastes bad like what you just saw of course you do you're an informed citizen well guess what ten more episodes of breaking news will be available for you exclusively on dropout go to dropout tittie and start your free trial today [Music]

Channel: CollegeHumor

Views: 597,321

Keywords: Collegehumor, CH originals, comedy, sketch comedy, internet, humor, funny, sketch

Id: yyDxwwn12Ds

Length: 4min 36sec (276 seconds)

Published: Sat Apr 11 2020