My sister in law wants me to be her surrogate because I'm more fit

[Music] people have rented to hate their sister-in-laws why all of this just went down this past weekend and honestly I just feel like I need to vent about it because it feels so unreal backstory my family has always been really healthy we bond over walks cooking together and exploring state parks recently my brother got married to a girl he's only known for six months total it came as a real surprise to all of us but honestly if my brother was happy I was happy for him the thing is the girl he married he's really unhealthy she's extremely overweight and it's caused a lot of health problems for her I thought it was strange that my brother married her as he's a personal trainer and his previous girlfriends have been seriously fit well it turns out the reason he married her so fast was because she was pregnant and since she's obsessed with babies she was definitely going to keep it my brother was less than enthusiastic but wanted to step up to the plate unfortunately about a month after the marriage she miscarried and it was pretty bad she told us the doctors informed her that it was because of underlying health problems she didn't dive too deep into it but I doctor did say that she would have difficulty becoming pregnant in the future so here's where I'd come in about three weeks ago I was talking to her on the phone and she mentioned that she was trying to get healthier to become pregnant awesome I was really happy for her I told her after quarantine was over I would love to go walking with her and could show her some healthy recipes she started commenting about how healthy I was and how easy it would be for somebody like to me to have a baby I didn't think anything of it and kept giving her advice on better eating habits I didn't want to tell her that I was chilled free and didn't like or ever want children because I felt like the timing definitely wasn't right and then last weekend happened I'm out in my garden trying to save my flowers from wild rabbits when my cell pulls into my driveway I think that quote weird why is she here without my brother run announced and she strolled into my garden with the biggest grin on her face I greet her and ask why she's here and she says that she has an amazing idea I say oh cool what's up SIL well op I came here to ask you if you would be my surrogate I figured because you're already so fit it would be easy for you record freaking scratch me what psyllium can't be serious I can't be your surrogate at first she was furious with me asking why I wouldn't do it and it quickly devolved into her begging and pleading with me while crying on my lawn I explained to her that you can only be a surrogate if you already had a successful pregnancy I may be healthy but I'm completely unqualified I told her to pay for a professional but she told me she couldn't afford it and I should do it because I'm backquote family I told her flat out that I refused to carry her and my brother's child WTF that's disgusting I made her leave my property and that we would not be discussing this after she left I texted my brother if he knew about this he was just as shocked and disgusted as I was because he had no idea he had actually just gotten into an argument with her because she had asked her eighteen year old sister to be her surrogate the day before obviously she said no and not only that she took to social media to vent about it Syl and her sister had a huge fight online and it came out that she had asked me as well and how we'd both refused and now we come to today social media is an absolute dumps too far right now my side of the family is disgusted that Syl would even ask me in the first place and sold that quote s side of the family is mostly on her side chastising before declining to be a surrogate and talking about how I'm not a real woman because I don't want to experience the miracle of having a baby some of them also found out I'm chilled free and I've been getting some serious verbal a I know I'm in the right here but the situation just feels soo and real now that I have 40 plus of her family members hounding me and saying horrible things about me because I'm chilled free honestly I'm not sure what I'm looking for here I guess advice I'm seriously considering deleting my social media account I've always gotten bingo but some of the things these people have said are really getting to me I've never been attacked like this about it me 25 female and my fee on K 28 male have been together six years and have a little boy who is 2 I'm an only child and my fiance has four sisters for context I've never had a strong relationship with any of them not through lack of trying they are extremely close and even bought houses next to one another they kind of have a clique and I'm tolerated I guess but not really accepted they have often vocalized indirectly how they prefer finn k6 had cheated on him which hurts i just kind of accepted how life is and try my best to build bridges where i can the problem stops here from my bachelorette party we decided to book a weekend away to a hotel in a nearby country i was super excited as i have never had a backquote girl's trip it works out to around two hundred dollars each for three nights including flights we booked it a year and a half in advance to give everyone a chance to save so far there have been no problems with anyone except for sales they made comments on the hotel location et Cie despite them being best in the area myself and my o our working class and have to save for the wedding this is our only luxury his sisters on the other hand are all well-off married into money and have multiple trips a year both with and without their kids we agreed in the place was booked now two months before the trip one sellers insisting on bringing her child the same age as a son I refused and have been called a huge effort by all of his sisters they say she has anxiety over leaving him with her husband who has had him while she has had week-long trips before with her friends no problem she has never been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder I have had anxiety for years and have recently stopped counseling so I understand what it can be like but I suspect it's an excuse she is very self-centered and always seeks the limelight announcing her pregnancy at her friend's baby shower et Cie and I've reached the end of my tether our hotel is adults we have excursions books where children aren't permitted have bar crawls planned et Cie and an adult only spa day there is absolutely no place for a child let alone for a two-year-old boy she expects us to change the hotel last-minute to accommodate him he is my nephew and I love him but this is my one thing that I want to be about me I've never had a birthday party engagement party baby shower etc I just want this one trip to be about me as selfish as I sound in getting rude texts and phone calls from everyone telling me it's wrong to exclude him even my own son isn't coming my friend Kay has even offered nephew and Bill to stay at our place with them for the weekend to which she has refused a my VA for not wanting him there I'm on the verge of just canceling the whole thing and all I have done the last few days is cry it's getting to the point I don't want to go at all because I'm scared they're going to make it hell for me either way edit I just want to say thank you to everyone for your verdicts where the Reimann ta or not I never thought this would get even half as much attention as it has I'm going to put my foot down and bluntly tell them no children and as others have suggested say how she will be sorely missed but everything is non-refundable and can't be changed such short notice if they all drop out then so be it if I mana so be it I'm only planning on having a bachelorette once in my life and goddamn it I'm going to enjoy it without any regrets thanks for giving my head a wobble guys sometimes it's easy to lose sight of yourself when you're swimming in negativity love to you all even that one guy that called me na have a great weekend so let me elaborate me 28 female and my husband 30 male are expecting it was a huge discussion for us the last years and honestly we made a 180 degree turn and both went from hell no we don't want kids to hell yes let's make a baby we did let some people now that we are a bit more positive towards having children but not that we were actually trying my cell 31 once children from as long as I knew her that she had a lot of health problems and they were financially not stable so they both had to live with her husband's 33 parents for some years three years ago they finally were able to get their own place and started trying their luck really has not been on their side and were not successful now they made the decision to try IVF and had apparently made an appointment made that day Thursday but didn't tell us we went to my husband's and sill parents that evening and so also was there we brought mugs with us that evening for everyone like greatest grandmother / father and aunt / uncle to tell the news and gave everyone their App gift we had to wait till they'll also arrived he was still on the toilet so their nounce to us that they had the appointment today we were happy and excited for them and were hoping for a positive result that arrives at the table everyone opens the gifts that were already on the table no surprise that we had an announcement and everyone is shocked and did not see it coming but were really happy especially my husband's parents everyone except Syl she's furious and starts crying she starts shouting that we ruined their big day that we at least should have the respect to not announce it on their special day that we knew they were trying IVF and wanted to be the first parents of the family and that we should have been more thoughtful and this was apparently a very mean thing to do so I got super upset and angry and said that I had no clue it was her special day to get over the fact that she is not going to be the first to be a mother in the family this is not something that you are entitled to be as the eldest sister I may have called her an entitled brat and that she is being unreasonable and should just be happy for us and now is ruining our announcement that would have otherwise been a very special and heartwarming moment for us bill now joins the screaming party and said that we should have taken their feelings into consideration so run did I get this topic was difficult perhaps for her and I want to know if I was in her in this situation [Music] [Music]

Channel: Ask Girl

Views: 52,341

Rating: 4.9252338 out of 5

Keywords: reddit girl, reddit sil, reddit sister in law, reddit sister, reddit pregnant, reddit pregnancy, reddit family, reddit, r/askreddit, r/ girl, r/ sil, r/ sister in law, r/ sister, r/ pregnant, r/ pregnancy, r/ family, r/, askreddit girl, askreddit sil, askreddit sister in law, askreddit sister, askreddit pregnant, askreddit pregnancy, askreddit family, askreddit

Id: _vk7v_a11EQ

Length: 11min 51sec (711 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 24 2020