Mom Demands I & Siblings GIVE Money For GROWN UP Brother Because He Is 'SENSITIVE BOY' & Can't Work

people what's your story of family demanding your money i am one of four siblings two boys and two girls we're all between 30 and 42 years old and three of us are married except for our one middle brother middle brother has always had problems in school and socially and when he got older it was being able to keep a job and pay his bills our mother would always guilt the rest of us into taking care of our middle brother financially once we all moved away we all agreed to equally contribute so the burden wouldn't fall to our parents who wanted to retire our oldest brother always hated this idea and resented our middle brother for being able to get away with being lazy his whole life and blames our mother for lowering the expectations for this one sibling and always calling him her sweet sensitive boy the rest of us were never able to get away with the same things middle brother did especially older brother who had to do everything for him growing up about a year ago my sister and i stopped equally contributing to middle brother due to financial difficulties but didn't tell our oldest brother he and his wife make significantly more money than us and figured it wouldn't make any difference financially to them and didn't want middle brother to get literally nothing anyway during a family zoom call our mother casually brings up that her sweet sensitive boy needs more help than he's been given from his family and it came out that older brother is the only one paying and he blew a gasket he called us opportunists liars con artists and lots of other things and finally said screw you people and got off the call and hasn't spoken to any of us since not even our parents he's missed two payments and middle brother is freaking out my parents and i tried reaching out to his wife because middle brother will be kicked out of his apartment soon unless we pay she makes as much money as older brother if not more and can easily pay but refused she called us crazy for even asking her to go against her husband like that now she's stopped taking her calls we're out of options and are considering driving the three states away to confront older brother into helping his family my own husband thinks this is a bad idea and that we should let middle brother sink or swim at this point before you ask middle brother was tested extensively years ago and found he was neurologically typical but sensitive hence my mother's name will i be the idiot if i drove all the way to physically confront older brother six years ago i met the best person in the world she was a sweet old lady that moved in next door named maggie maggie taught me how to knit we watch mama's family together i helped her give her cat her medicine i helped water her plants when she got too frail to do it herself she knitted me a hat for every holiday i helped her install her wi-fi maggie was a nurse in world war ii maggie passed away three months ago at the age of 94. she went peacefully in her sleep and it is the heartbreak of my life about two weeks after she died i noticed a man walking into maggie's house maggie didn't have any family except for a nephew who lived across the country i went up to him and asked who he was and he said he was going to clean out his aunt's things that was the end of that until yesterday maggie's nephew had rung my doorbell and had told me that maggie left me most everything she had in her will maggie left me one million dollars in an account i can open when i turn 18. most of her personal effects and her cat blue who i rescued two days after she died and kept she wrote me and her nephew letters she said some stuff i would rather not share it tore me up about maggie even more she was such a gentle soul and she deserved better i started crying and i told my parents they started celebrating about it immediately i asked them to stop and they did until today they presented me with a cake that said hey you get to go to college to say that it made me upset is an understatement i get that maggie's money is a life-changing thing but i would much rather have maggie i told them to stop celebrating then i went to my room to hold blue and cry my brother knocked on my door and told me i was being an idiot because our parents are just happy for me my daughter laura got pregnant in her 20s and gave up a child for adoption though my husband and i were upset we fully supported her and thought she was strong for making a tough decision she's doing well now and is married with kids her husband knows about the child she gave away for adoption a while ago we heard from her daughter sophia that she gave away our granddaughter contacted us sobbing that her adoptive family had given her away as a baby and she was in the foster system with a nasty family my husband and i agreed that even the laura didn't want her she's still our grandchild and we have the resources to help her we adopted sophia and she now lives with us we got sophia a new wardrobe and redid our guest room to be her room we also made a college fund and put about sixty thousand dollars in it basically we treated her how we treated lara sophia is our daughter by law and in our hearts laura was indifferent to us adopting sophia however laura went ballistic when we told her about sophia's college fund we didn't think lara would mind since we paid 80 000 a year for her college education and sophia is now our daughter too lara is mad because her other kids don't get a college fund from us even though lara and her husband have already gotten it taken care of but lara says that we are spending more on sofia and aren't treating the grandkids equally she says that her kids will resent us and laura for not being treated like sophia however sophia is our daughter now and laura's kids are our grandchildren sophia has no support system besides us and we treat her just like laura we don't discriminate among our grandchildren and if laura had taken in sophia she would have been treated like the other kids aka no college fund i 25 female i'm the oldest great-grandchild of my great-grandparents and my brother 22 is the second when we were born my great-grandparents set aside trust funds for each of us that have grown to about 200 000 each i'm planning on using my money for a down payment on a house eventually now my great-grandparents both passed away before my cousin 18 male was born since he didn't exist when my great-grandparents were setting aside money in their wills he didn't get anything from them my aunt cousin's mom recently found out about the trust funds and became incense that her child didn't receive anything she messaged me and my brother telling us she knows we will do the right thing and split our money three ways so that it's fair because that's what your great grandparents would have wanted you to do i talked to my grandmother and she said her parents gave me my brother that money for us to use and that it's completely up to us if we want to share it or not she also made a good point that since there are now 30 plus great-grandchildren if my aunt really wanted it to be fair then we would have to dole out the money among every other great grandchild and everyone would end up getting less than 15 000 i'm not sure what the right thing to do is my brother and i have discussed it and we agreed that it's technically not fair for my cousin to not get anything on the other hand my cousin's other grandparents that i'm not related to are billionaires with a capital b and he's their only grandchild so he is set to inherit everything from them and is in no way hurting for money my parents think that my brother and i should ignore our aunt and keep the money to use it and pay off any debts and get a head start on our adult lives though i didn't do anything to earn the money and would be fine if i did give some of it up will i be the idiot if my brother and i keep our inheritances even if it isn't fair to our cousin about four years ago i was diagnosed with a type of blood cancer not going to get into specifics but i decided being 36 at the time and full of youthful energy ha ha to follow a very aggressive surgery chemo pattern it appeared to work and i have been going on about my life the last three years as though it never happened important to note that when i was diagnosed both my siblings had announced pregnancies recently and my mother was in the hospital after a stroke so rather than dump my news on everyone it was kept between my wife and i then by the time that it seemed fair to break the news to them i was improving and there seemed no reason to distress them about seven months ago i started to get the same symptoms i'd had last time and i went in to get checked out basically i have several aggressive tumors and i've been given two to five years to live depending on what kind of treatment i want to follow i've decided that i don't want to pursue treatment and instead i just want to spend as much of my time with my wife who has suffered terribly through this whole ordeal because i now have a time limit on my life i broke the news to my family about three months ago they were all understandably upset particularly my father who i have always been particularly close to now when i was 20 i was gifted as were both my siblings 45 000 to do with whatever i wanted i used the money to invest in property and my business as a builder i had just finished an apprenticeship and struck out on my own i now own more than 20 properties most of which are rented for income and a business that employs 27 people including my wife who has a master's in business and runs admin as well as a considerable amount of wealth in investments vintage cars i had decided that after i die the business three rental homes our beach house and the home we live in along with several investments will be left to my wife i have been married for 19 years and i feel like it's the least i can do for the support she has given me over the years i will be leaving each of my nephews and nieces twenty thousand dollars in an investment account that they can access when they are twenty the rest will be put into a trust fund that will issue out a set amount every year to various groups i like to support including one that teaches underprivileged kids the skills to become tradesmen and also to the hospital that has treated me over the last few years we aren't in the us by the way i was telling one of my siblings this recently and she got upset that as she put it everyone is getting something except me and our brother i tried to explain that both my siblings are well off in their own rights and our parents are very comfortably retired so i don't believe they need additional support since then she and our other sibling have been upset with me we are still talking but they are curt and cold my grandma died two years ago and i received about 200 000 pounds when she died i am 24 so i made the decision to use the money to pay off my student loans and put a decent deposit down on a house to bring down the cost of my mortgage i didn't broadcast that i came into some wealth but i vaguely mentioned to two close friends i got an inheritance well one of them is missing a leg he needed to replace his prosthesis last year he managed to raise the cash but was still short of about four thousand pounds he is very proud but i knew how badly he needed it and how he lost his leg in an accident that entirely wasn't his fault i asked him if i gave him the money would he accept it he graciously accepted it and seeing him so happy to get a new leg made me happy he started immediately talking about paying me back and i told him that he should consider it a gift as it was something he genuinely needed that was all fine and it's never been mentioned about the money i gifted him until now my other friend is currently planning her wedding for next summer she has run into some financial difficulties but is still bent in keeping the expensive dream venue she wants and is short of a lot of money to pay off the fees for it she mentioned she needs about 10 000 pounds and her parents have refused they said that it's her wedding and they told her to go somewhere cheaper because she clearly can't afford it she has now come to me begging for me to help her out and she's mentioned that it shouldn't be a problem as i gifted our friend money before i've refused i said to her basically what her parents said regarding booking a cheaper venue that it's not my responsibility to shell out for someone's wedding i also used what i thought are valid points and said our friend had a legitimate need for some financial aid i have a mortgage to pay and that i'm saving my money well she has called me an entitled prick and an idiot for hoarding my money and ruining her dreams because she can't get the money unless someone helps her our friend with the prosthesis has said i am in the right as she has no right for my money but i do feel i could help out at least a little bit so i don't know i have a daughter who turned 12 in december we are jewish so this was supposed to be celebrated with a bot mitzvah which she refused she said she was uncomfortable with the attention and she is questioning her faith i'll admit my wife's initial reaction was not good but after she calmed down we all talked about it rationally and agreed she did not have to have one i'd been saving money for both of my children's bar and bought mitzvahs since they were very young she did not know the exact amount but she knew that her older brothers was very lavish well my wife has always wanted to go to paris so we decided to put the money towards that due to the pandemic i'm not sure when it will be but i thought my daughter realized that we were spending the money on france today she asked me about the money and was talking about the things she could do with it and she didn't know if she would spend it on a car or a trip i was very irritated that she thought it was her money it was saved for one explicit purpose and since she did not want the party it is 100 my money we got into a fight over whose money it is and i'm still furious that she thought she had any right to it i told her i'm not paying her allowance for a couple of weeks because she needs to think about what money actually means and why she thinks she's entitled to my money note my kids do not get paid for chores so she does have some chores but it's not like she is doing anything to earn this money my wife thinks she should be grounded for being disrespectful but that the allowance thing is an idiot move throw away for obvious reasons so i 24 male and from a working class family in the uk where we've always earned enough not to be worried about money but don't earn enough to have much money to spare as many uk students will know this falls into the working class poverty gap for student loans where your family earns enough that your student loan is very low but your family doesn't actually have the spare income to pay for you to go to university i managed to get my undergraduate degree in medical science through money i'd saved from working several jobs for a year and from working through university as well as relying on what little support my mother could afford while getting no support from my deadbeat father who thinks it was selfish of me to want a degree he has one my sister and my cousins also thought it was selfish of me to want to go to the university i did i got into a wrestle group university into a competitive course through resetting exams and studying hard while working none of them got anywhere near the entry requirements in any of their exams because at their own admission they hated school and didn't want to study i also hated school and didn't want to study but i wanted more for myself this causes me a lot of guilt still anyway my dream was always to become a doctor and i've gotten to the final stage of entry twice without success regardless financially it isn't an option for me so i let it go and work a grad job recently my grandmother has informed me she has a large amount of money saved and has actually been largely living off of my late grandfather's pensions for years he died suddenly of a heart attack she's offered to give me the lion's share of this money if i will reapply and get in to study medicine she would have enough to live off after that and her health isn't great and so sadly she doesn't look like she has much longer left anyway her logic is that my sister my three cousins already have jobs in houses as well as two of them having degrees from a local university and so they don't need a large amount of money where it could be used to help me they disagree and see it as favoritism and say they could use that money as a uni fund for their children or renovating their houses i've been called a leech and my sister went as far as to accuse me of coercing a sickled lady into signing money away to me i haven't accepted yet and i haven't told my family this but i do think i need the money more i 37 female have two sisters roxanne 34 and libby 22. when we were younger my dad sadly passed away around that time my mom became very anxious about what would happen to libby if something happened to her she had my aunt as a potential guardian but she's located pretty far away from us and it would have meant uprooting libby she approached me and roxanne and asked if one or both of us would be willing to take custody of libby with help from my aunt roxanne immediately said no which was understandable as she was in her early 20s i said yes as i was more established a few years later my mom passed due to cancer and i became libby's guardian mom left me the house entirely and split her savings into some for me and some for a college fund for libby her jewelry was split evenly amongst me libby and roxanne libby got into college and her fund was enough to cover the tuition but not living expenses i reached out to roxanne to ask if she could help she's very well off due to her profession and having no debt from my parents paying for her college she said no okay fair enough however she got incredibly angry with me that i would ask after inheriting everything and told me i was greedy and money hungry i pointed out that the house was to ensure libby got to stay where she grew up and the money mom left me was meant to help with related expenses she told me never to ask her for money again called libby a bunch of nasty names saying she always hated her that libby was the favorite child that she roxanne got neglected after libby was born not true she cut us off after that about four years have passed since then recently she reached out asking if we could talk and i said no i am perfectly happy without her libby is doing well my aunt and i split the expenses to get her through college it's definitely a bit hard for us but worth it however roxanne has been telling our aunt that we're excluding her that she wants a relationship and ant has been telling us that forgiveness is good family is important and all that i just don't need the bad vibes am i wrong for not accepting this olive [Music] branch

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Id: GhIsmcUNLho

Length: 19min 7sec (1147 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 27 2021