Mother In Law Has Complete MELTDOWN Because I Stopped Her Having A BATH WITH My Baby Behind My Back

married redditers what is your best evil mother-in-law story i am currently a stay-at-home mom with my eight-month-old son dear husband and i have been married for two years together for five just no mother-in-law is a complete psycho doesn't understand boundaries etc etc dear husband is an only child and of course mother-in-law thinks dear son is her baby i've had issues with mother-in-law since the start of my relationship with dear husband dear husband is torn because he loves his parents but this has gone too far for me now mother-in-law is a classic just know mother-in-law everything from asking me when my last period was before dear son was born and she wanted a baby going through my nightstands and bathroom throwing herself a grandma shower before dear son was born setting up a full nursery in her house he has never stayed over and has never been there without me she had a complete meltdown when i banned her from the delivery room and would not let her massage my breasts for learning to breastfeed when she came to visit after dear son was born my son is formula fed i never planned to breastfeed and she just can't accept that how dare i rob her baby of his health by feeding him formula poison she's never wrong in her own mind and i would just ignore her constant delusional parenting advice she's retired and wants to spend as much time with her baby my son as possible she always wants to be the one to change his diaper i haven't let her since he was a newborn and always wants to watch me change it which made me super uncomfortable she would always make awkward comments about my son's stuff looking just like his daddy's when he was that age so inappropriate you get the idea of the level of crazy here i wish i would have gone no contact with her a long time ago but she's been on a strict once a week for a few hours at a time visits with dear son dear husband and i the once a week thing was even too much for me but i wanted to compromise for my dear husband's sake his grandparents were very involved in his childhood so maybe that has something to do with his mom thinking she can undermine my parenting anyway mother-in-law was over yesterday for her weekly visit dear husband was at work so it was just me her and diaz you guys i accidentally fell asleep on the couch while dear son was in his jumper and mother-in-law was sitting on the floor next to him i woke up 30 to 40 minutes later and mother-in-law and dear son were nowhere to be found i heard splashing from the upstairs tub and found mother-in-law taking a fully naked bath with dear son like it was the most normal thing in the world at 2pm in the afternoon i grabbed dear son from her and she started sobbing saying that i was robbing her of her baby and how dare i not let her do normal grandma things like take a bath with her baby boy oh and dear son was loving his bath time with grandma and he loves her so much saggy breasts flying all over the place as she's protesting in the bath you guys i don't even let this woman change his diaper or give him a regular bath ever and now she does this i'm so mad at myself for falling asleep i yelled at her to get dressed and get out of my house she left sobbing and i want nothing to do with her anymore dear husband said he would talk to her but i don't know if he can stand up to his mother like i need him to i am just so fed up sun is four and a half weeks old immediate problems with the mother-in-law started mid-pregnancy so my wife and i have been trying to have kids for a while two lost pregnancies last year needless to say this pregnancy had been planned out from the start part of the plans were of course the delivery itself my wife did not want anyone but me and her friend photographer in there during the delivery the rest of the family would be given updates and allowed in after we had spent some bonding time with our son it's worth pointing out that the last part is hospital policy regardless which we didn't know at the time we didn't want people waiting in the lobby because i was not going to be out there dealing with their emotions and needs during the whole ordeal my singular concern was to be there with my wife and child we had been telling friends and family this from an early stage of the pregnancy every single person we told that had all unanimously said okay no problem because why should it be a problem everybody except my mother-in-law she would always say no i'm going to be there you can't keep me away we would resist but as time went on it started becoming more and more heated mind you mother-in-law has a lifelong history of being controlling and nasty towards her children so this isn't new territory the week my wife was due this all turned into actual arguments and all-out hostility she began calling me a juice donor claiming this was all my attempt to shut her out etc we started getting screenshots of messages from family members where she has started a complete smear campaign against me and was trying to turn her entire family against me even more confusingly she had tried that with my own mother so my wife ends up giving birth late at night with a surprise c-section while our son ends up in the nicu for a couple of hours my wife was out of it and i was trying to bounce between her and our son all the while the mother-in-law was apparently going berserk because we weren't dealing with her needs next thing we know she shows up at the hospital in the middle of the night causing a scene security rightly stopped her at the entrance and didn't allow her up mind you my son and i had finally been reunited with my wife about 20 minutes prior to this the hospital as mentioned doesn't even allow calm rational visitors within this time let alone crazy lunatics in the middle of the night ranting and raving in the emergency room lobby so of course this was once again my fault i set up the hospital regulations silly me now it's important to note that my wife had tried at every step to mitigate this disaster even so much as trying to talk her mother down while she was in labor telling mother-in-law to come around 8 in the morning so that she can bring her boyfriend and son not come back when i finally rested from being in labor all night just come at a reasonable time with the rest of your family so the attacks continued we had local police department come in and we tried to get a restraining order still need to get a copy of their report but the hospital is in a different county than where we live they suggested contacting the police department where we live when we leave the hospital you bet i called them within the hour of being home but that department said they couldn't do anything unless mother-in-law actually broke the law but we've at least began building a paper trail since then we have had further attacks on our character which my wife has fought back on as much as possible all of these decisions were hers from the beginning and she has tried to correct mother-in-law's version wherever possible yet mother-in-law uses it as an easy attack against me mother-in-law has still not seen my son mother-in-law is currently not welcome around my son mother-in-law will go to jail if she so much as tries to come around my son at the stage there have been enough written notices and contacts with law enforcement to give us the legal paper trail after witnessing her mistreating her children for years i will never let mother-in-law around my child so long as she continues to act this way she will certainly never watch my child there will be no unsupervised visits i have zero regrets that she has never met her grandson he has had so much quality time with his extended family everybody else has been so happy to meet him and he is a very happy baby he is missing nothing i have two boys we have a family tradition on my side that a son's hair is not to be cut until age three it is an omen of bad luck my older son has only had his hair trimmed once on his fourth birthday the in-laws have always grumbled and made comments that they look like girls you can't see their faces and so on we have always ignored them and told them that that's the way it is neither of the boys have ever indicated they wanted short hair no one else in their lives friends daycare random strangers has ever made negative comments about their hair the boys went to my mother-in-law's place last weekend for an overnight visit as we were attending an adults-only christmas party my mother-in-law requested that we bring the boys earlier in the day than we were planning on no big deal more time to get ready and more time for them to spend with their grandparents as we are arriving at the christmas party i received some texts from her with photos of my sons with buzz cuts and a message that reads now they look like real boys both my boyfriend and i were so shocked and speechless we did not reply to the messages spent the evening in stunned silence we picked our sons up first thing in the morning with hardly any words to them my sister-in-law was there visiting from far away with a new baby so we hugged him a bit and went on our way my poor kids are so upset about the haircuts older son refuses to look at himself in the mirror says he doesn't want to go to preschool which he normally loves he tells me that nobody will know who he is that he misses his hair and that they began to cut it as they were eating ice cream watching a cartoon i'm absolutely devastated as is their dad and all of my extended family we never gave them permission to touch their hair and i can't believe they violated our family's beliefs and values there is a giant void in our daily life she robbed me of special time with my children we had a routine with their hair and self-care and it is totally disrupted she took away our family identity yes it will grow back but for now i don't recognize my own children they've been acting out way more and we are doing our best to communicate to our boys that we love them no matter what and that this fiasco is in no way their fault who does that to a child we are so hurt and overwhelmingly sad they have the nerve to laugh and be jokey about it and i haven't stopped thinking angry and upsetting thoughts since i saw my beautiful children's sad puffy faces and all their hair gone less than 24 hours after her little announcement mother-in-law asked dear husband if he could go with her to one of her doctor's appointments the next week because she is feeling fragile this woman is as hard as nails as stepfather-in-law is on a business trip for the next two weeks and she can't bear to go alone this might sound innocent enough but it isn't sister-in-law 1 and 2 also live close by and don't have jobs and sister-in-law 3 lives with mother-in-law any of them could go instead but no it has to be dear husband at the moment i feel there is nothing i can say or do against her as i will be accused of upsetting her while she's pregnant i was proved right when i questioned dear husband about why it was necessary for him to accompany his mother to a routine appointment well he absolutely exploded at me he screamed that he was sick and tired of me trying to constantly compete with mother-in-law that i should be grateful to her that she's given us such a beautiful place to live without asking anything in return that i didn't care how much he loved his family and how i was a total witch for trying to make him choose between me and them he then proceeded to storm out and go to you guessed it mother-in-law's house honestly i have never seen him so angry in all of the time we've been together and i cried for about half an hour afterwards i absolutely hate that dear husband can't see that it is mother-in-law who has turned our family life into a constant tug of war and not me i'm so fed up i have had thoughts of just wanting to pack my bags and leave with little one i was nearly pushed over the edge last week when dear husband left the house without saying a word to go and pick up mother-in-law to take her to that stupid appointment worse still he didn't come back for hours despite my repeated messages and to top it all off i see this long boastful post slash picture on mother-in-law's facebook saying what a wonderful son she has for taking care of her during her dinosaur pregnancy and bringing her such beautiful flowers i know it sounds petty but i can't remember the last time dear husband bought me flowers outside of my birthday valentines etc i just feel like i'm always being sidelined in favor of her even down to the smallest things we haven't really been speaking since this latest incident i still love dear husband very much but married life for the most part has been utterly miserable and i cannot live like this for another 20 plus years i feel like a failure for even thinking the word divorce so early on and leaving could mean financial destruction mother-in-law would see to that i'm sure but i will go if we can't come to some sort of resolution however unreasonable that may sound i feel completely trapped humiliated and broken and i don't know what to do has anyone had success in making their dear husband see the light when mother-in-law has such a strong psychological hold over him if not did you divorce if yes was the divorce worth it if you stayed together did you just put up with it or come to some sort of agreement mother-in-law is living in our place to help out for a few weeks she's been very helpful with cooking and cleaning she said she'll do things the way we like when it comes to the baby she is quite happy and in love with baby but there have been a few instances where she has come across a little odd for instance i had just put the baby down in his cot and went to wash my hands i came back and mother-in-law was holding the baby and cuddling him me we need to put the baby down in the cot he's been awake for too long already mother-in-law grandma will rock him to sleep me the parenting book says we shouldn't put him down when he's asleep instead he should be almost asleep mother-in-law no grandma will rock him to sleep just this once it'll be just like last time when grandma rocked him to sleep then the baby started crying me actually he's got the rooting reflex he's hungry guess i'll have to breastfeed him mother-in-law we will not feed him grandma will rock him to sleep i'm not good with conflict so i just sat down in the nursing chair and watched mother-in-law struggle with the baby until she realized a minute later that he was indeed hungry and handed baby back to me so when i found out i was pregnant and did my first blood test my hcg levels were quite low and my doc was suspecting an ectopic pregnancy after a series of ultrasounds and more blood work they still didn't know if it was a viable pregnancy because it was too early so i ended up telling mother-in-law that i am pregnant but doctor is suspecting that it might not be in the uterus i honestly regret telling her her response she was utterly disgusted with me told me that it's my fault told me that dear husband and i are not having love properly you're doing it wrong and that he is discharging outside my body if i wasn't so worried stressed out i would have died laughing how can someone be this clueless by the way i'm a nurse she's uneducated i tried to explain to her how ectopic pregnancies work and my hormone levels etc she didn't believe me continue to blame me and tell me that what i'm saying doesn't make sense i try to explain how the egg comes down and is fertilized and she's just so clueless this woman had four kids anyways it turns out that it was not an ectopic pregnancy it was just very early on when i did my blood test that's why my hcg levels were low then weeks later as i was still pregnant she's like oh so your baby is in position now at this point i was just done explaining anything to her ever ever she's always putting me down about nursing slash medical stuff telling me i don't know anything what kind of nurse are you are you sure you don't kill all your patients at work so i mostly just play dumb instead of explaining anything so i just said yeah baby is doing good she went off about how we need to stop this bad team translation shamelessness and dear husband needs to stop discharging outside my body and i need to talk to dear husband because he's doing it wrong and she feels ashamed to go tell her son about how to properly make love and it's a miracle that this baby is now in the uterus i'm like yeah you're right by the way i was being blamed for this because i was allowing dear husband to discharge on the outside among other things i'll try to keep this as short as possible sorry for mobile formatting i've never really seen eye to eye with my mother-in-law because she's very strict and old-fashioned she's like this with all of her grandchildren she'll do things like yell at them for not sitting up straight elbows on table etc i understand that children need discipline but i prefer a gentler approach with my son i've asked her many times to not do that but my husband insists i let it go so i've tried to until now my son was officially diagnosed with a life-threatening peanut allergy and we have an epipen junior for him she insists that when she was younger people didn't have allergies and if they did they would get rid of them via exposure and that i'm just babying him i've explained to her that his allergy is very real and potentially deadly she has basically scoffed it off and the last time she came to pick him up she took his epipen fanny pack from around his waist and threw it on my driveway saying she's taken him for ice cream many times and nothing has ever happened and he doesn't need it with him i told him she could no longer take him and brought him inside she laughed and called my husband she cried to him saying i accused her of being an unfit grandmother which i admittedly did because my child's safety is my priority and apparently not hers now my husband wants me to apologize to her he says she would take him to the hospital if he ingested peanuts and that i'm overreacting i kindly explained to him that epipens save lives because anaphylaxis means your airways are narrowing your breathing is becoming blocked etc and time is of the essence because it happens so quickly so now my stance is no epipen equals no taking my child anywhere she's even insisting on taking him to a baseball game which tends to have a lot of peanuts everywhere i asked that she find a peanut-free zone which the stadium does offer but she once again belittled the idea and insisted he would be fine i'm getting really tired of her treatment towards my son and my husband has always been a mama's boy who thinks mama can do no wrong and defends her endlessly he says he turned out just fine being raised by her and i worry too much would it be awful if i insist she only see him if i'm present am i completely unreasonable and overreacting is there anything else i can do so that they'll understand the severity or at the very least take some more precautions lastly i just want to say my mother-in-law has diabetes and is against modern medicine and sees a naturopath she won't take metformin or insulin and thinks everything can be treated herbally so i don't think having a sit down with an actual physician explaining epinephrine and anaphylaxis to her is going to help much she's very strong in her beliefs i did text her asking if she would be open to just hearing a doctor out and she's yet to reply my husband has replied saying he doesn't have time to read stupid reddit threads or watch educational videos so i told him to find time or he won't be getting any time with my son until he does if he's going to be so careless i'll end up dealing with this legally so as a labor and delivery registered nurse i get to witness first hand some of the messy mess that happens on a labor and delivery unit when these just knows get a whiff of a do-over baby and come to wreak havoc on your hallowed occasion not only am i there to push with you clean you up because you can't feel from the epidural teach you how to breastfeed change a diaper and cuddle your baby for a few hours so you can get some much needed and well-deserved rest but i'm also the one you can confide in if you have a crazy just know and here's her picture i get your name blocked out in the system i notify security i post signs all around so that someone not privy to all of the gory details will at least know not to let anyone in i also relish calling security on a surprise just know that came out of hiding the day you had a baby for the first time i'm your line of defense from your crazy mother-in-law i'm going to start a running story line if people show interest of all these idiots i encounter on the daily on this episode of just no mother-in-law in the wild a young mother alerted me that her boyfriend had a crazy mother she asked that she not be let in gave me her name particulars and i did the rest meaning all of the aforementioned stuff security blocking names a dozen or so signs etc she has the baby and all is calm too calm our unit doorbell alerts guest asks to see patient's first name we always ask for a last she wasn't sure red flag i continue to converse through the camera system she gives me her name it's so close to the forbidden name think marianne smithson and the name was mary smith not wanting to upset the patient i ask boyfriend to come look on the camera he confirms it's his mother he told me since patient had the baby she was softening to the idea of potentially letting her see her for like two minutes wanting to make sure my patient actually said that i go in and ask she exhaustedly says yes i double check and let her know she doesn't have to do anything she says no it's fine quick in a doubt famous last words i let this just know in against better judgment she came with auntie so and so they walked into the room asked to hold the baby auntie held the baby and before i could even move grandma pulled something out of her purse but concealed in her hand lickety-split she swiped kiddo's cheek i was stunned many a just know has pulled me aside and in hushed tones asks if i can do a paternity test on her son's behalf but really on her behalf but never have i seen someone actually attempt one i immediately called security these nasty dumb idiots tried to bolt off the unit and i watched them literally splat against our door like the cockroaches they were because on my unit you have to be buzzed in and out and the exit side just have brass plates no handles and it looks like you can just push them out they were trapped just waiting the 60 seconds or so until security arrived and escorted them out sorry llamas no big scene was made upon exiting oh and the hilarious part is she only swiped for the quarter of a second she thought she could get away with not nearly the requisite time needed [Music] you

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, askreddit girls, reddit women, reddit girls, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, reddit mother in law, reddit mil, reddit mil marriage, reddit mil took baby, reddit evil mother in law, reddit just no family, reddit just no mil, reddit baby shower, reddit mother in law baby, reddit family drama, reddit pregnancy

Id: Pb0OZ5gK6pU

Length: 22min 47sec (1367 seconds)

Published: Sat Sep 26 2020