Mobile games but if I get an ad, I buy the game

all right we're checking out the only games where if I see an ad I have to download the game and find out how far down the rabbit hole of sadness we fall it's mobile game ads so I wanted to start with just the stupidest ad I could see while playing mobile games to give us a base point and it's going to be Emperor and Beauties there's something about the fact that they used AI voicing from 1994 I don't think that you could get AI voicing today that's this bad and here we are in the game the very first thing I noticed is oh my God they vomit clickables at you what is this cancer you notice what there's not here do you notice what there's not in options menu to turn off the background music there's a lot of options in order to make my character I loved how all of the options seemed fairly normal for the time period that we're in and then we just had the random male underwear model I got to give him a name as you can see now we have to play this game until we get an ad Beauty system you got it oh I can claim my Beauties fantastic I love that there's like three main systems here the beauty system the children's system and the jail system these are the three most important things in life obviously I get a daily gift that you have to pay money for oh I get a free gift do I have to watch an ad for it I really surprised that we haven't had our ad yet this is my starting Beauty here this is like the Honda Civic I suppose of beauties random date you had an exhausting day let me cook up some Gin sing Oh my God I love how we're cooking up the jins sing soup on the Love Sofa I had an it was one date we went on one date do you want me to name your child my Lord I love that the baby has a level this level is normal can I get rare children I got to name this child my child has attribute points the Charming child name the name it starts me with is weak ads please oh you only get six letters there we go if you can use a hashtag as part of the name I'll be so happy right now a name is Agony he even has the lower case come here darling was that did anyone hear that how come there was like 30 women Spanish you have to have 15 Beauties to unlock the banish don't mind me just guys randomly vomiting out of my buildings over here if you fail the other thing I love about this game is that it's the same voice actor for every single character the combat system in this game is absolutely Next Level I've never seen anything like it did that one dude just say get him Bros what's up butt face I don't know if this is how people ran into battle whoever wrote These is the real hero for this game to live a bandit life what do say you better not have a bandit wife okay we've got our very first ad age of Origins look at how incredible gigantic zombie horde getting more and more soldiers picking up incredible upgrades is it anything like this probably not but I'm prepared to be disappointed install as we load in agent Origins I guess I have to grade Emperor and Beauty so the question is was it as absolutely stupid as the ad and the answer is pretty close I'm going to give it five out of 10 disappointments only because you could glance in the direction of a woman and immediately have a child but you weren't allowed to banish and divorce women until Level 15 or something I thought that would have been an ability right off the bat was aame the game was awful okay so do I have to do anything to shoot the zombie oh it shoots the zombie for me do I even can I die if I like if I like just if I fist bump a zombie do I turn into a zombie select your fortify skill am I allowed to pick grenade or is it forcing me to pick guard I want the grenade I don't want drones all right I guess I'm getting a drone I will say the combat system is a little bit more advanced than Emperor and Beauties all right so we've got some uh some exploding zombies oh the air rescue team is here I didn't know if this this is like the entire go oh my God how did they not carpet bomb me you won yay I love how the entirety of the planet has just been nuked to nothing and then in the middle of all this there's a pristine Taj Mah Hall with a yacht mhm yep your doomsday recovery plan is told to You by The Glorious Victoria Secret model wearing a totally appropriate zombie repellent jacket I love it okay this is this isn't a zombie this is like a Kaiju am I supposed to fight this with like one person all right Leila go get them I mean no ads yet I've been playing for a little bit I'm kind of impressed I have wanted my grenades for so long oh yeah did just more grenades more grenades I don't even want to use bullets in this game anymore I just want to have a minigun and all it fires is grenades oh grenades are the king why get anything else look at this can I get more grenades you bet I can yeah at this point I'm just like every bullet is a grenade it's not even a grenade it's a rocket it's a literal rocket I got a birthday present for murdering a bunch of zombies fantastic you got big dog he was inside of my birthday present oh you can change your name give me ads oh yeah oh big dog is now here helping a brother out he shoots people in the face with oh my God you can have landmines yep what happens if I stand in front of the land mine do I get do I get murdered by too I'm kind of curious the problem is all my dudes keep killing everyone so quickly more landmines I love that you have the Floridian zombie over here now that you have to kill when in doubt put down more Claymores don't mind me just building oil refineries real quick because I would hate for the planet to not get any pollution since there's no one left to pollute it they're all just zombies oh if I claim this I get five gingers that's her name listen see Ginger and red Grace for age of Origins I feel like the gaml was better than the ad that's sad I'm going to give it a 12 out of 10 because my expectations were so low and it exceeded them the time has come for a new ad this ad uh was this like a prison simulator it would be great if it told me the name of the game is this like Mafia wars or something it's going to be a Mafia Wars thing oh how glorious it is I've never actually played the game the content shown in the video can be experienced after The Beginner's tutorial we'll see about that welcome to Mafia city am I already stacked with cash oh it's my very first Mafia wife I I think I really don't know oh her name's Jennifer I've been searching everywhere for you since your brother roko my BR Ro did you just call him roko it's more like one of those devices that you connect to your television it's like the dollar store version of Roku I think it's his name is Roco Jennifer I am furious about Rocco he said Roco correctly how long have these two been together has she been mispronouncing my brother's name wrong for the last like 6 years we've been married I love how he's like all I see is this mess and he's got a glorious mansion with an entire Safari ride attached to it what is this what are are we going to get I thought I was going to get infiltrated by zombies in this game too you might as well don't mind me just vomiting bikers at the problem this is way more than a Turf War these are two like continents battling for Supremacy there's going to be so Much Death this is how you come to War I mean all right there's way too much story in this game where the ads at I will keep killing innocent people until I see some ads who wants it Moroni you're next don't drive over the grass guys and we'll be able to deliver a devastating blow towards the enemy my Shooters Australian okay that was a little weird oh I guess it was just an Australian salesman selling me the shooters money makes the world go round we're no different uh can I get the other voice actors back where did this come from I would hate to not level up my Mansion level two Mansion baby I love that you get a mafia welcoming gift when you join your life of crime it has such important things as 10 energy drinks this is the weirdest thing I've I've gone from murdering people to trying to find a gem inside of a bunch of tumblers I got I don't even know how I did that I think the game is just giving it to me for free de that or I'm really good at this I literally have an entire amusement park now of crime also I love that there's an area called the family Club where you can bring your your children and infants so that they too can be exposed to a life of crime write something here to share your thoughts where are the ads at my Mansion is now level three I just realize one of my options here is just babes this Mafia game is going to be my very first one out of 10 the whole point of this was I was supposed to start as a level one crook but I start off as the man I have like a mansion tons of Mafia women an entire biker gang they're vomiting gifts at me every 2 seconds there's no buildup I'm already an incredible mafia boss oh here we go we've got a new ad puzzles and survival yes shoot the giant bags of I don't really know what those are it's like bags of cotton candy or possibly just Priceless vases or something so that you can get an entire helicopter the thing that's scaring me right now about puzzles and survival is that it just took like 8 GB to download all the information on this game what in God's name is this game trying to show me I love that the game cannot be played in the landscape view on the emulator can anyone tell me why there's a random Victoria Secret model just chilling out underneath I don't know what this is I've got to I've got a Connect Four and my group gets larger and larger this is probably the most realistic to the ad style of these ridiculous games I've ever seen am I still in the ad or am I actually playing the game I honestly don't know I've got three Victoria Secret models Warriors now this spider's just been hanging out with me the whole time I don't know if I'm supposed to kill him or if he's like a pet or what heads up do I I don't even really click anything I just kind of chill out it's a match game I had no idea I thought it was going to be the walk down the the street style game I love that you have to play Tetris here to murder the zombies did I save you is this my original group there's stun grenades okay oh my God I don't know if I clicked any of that I have a feeling what I just did had no impact as to the end of the game there is a threee headed like cerebus lizard I'm not going to lie the mutations in this game have potentially gotten way out of hand this is past the Umbrella Corporation I'm pretty sure this zombie just vomited all over my entire Squadron no ads yet though click on the girl's chest and she vomits out a special ability which in this case happens to be a grenade hi hi Scarlet where did you come from this game is basically like the free samples that you get when you go to the grocery store like you're in like the produce aisle and they're like here try this P bread for free here try this military agent for free Scarlet you are now the PAB bread great a formidable Hero has joined oh sure what does she do she gets very angry and then fires a double layer rocket at the creatures ow everyone just got tail slapped by the three-headed zombie snake Lord all right Scarlet do do I don't know where you're keeping those grenades but yeah go ahead and do more of the RPGs fantastic I don't even know what I what I just did like what I played am I going to lose one of my Squadron I don't even remember this girl's name I don't even think they gave her a name what you have to shoot her you can save her or you can shoot her this is the most appropriate comparison to one of these ads I think I've ever seen now in the ad you would of course save for welcome to Grace still plays no I can't it's not going to let me kill her anyway it forces you to save her they must have been like one idiot would pick the kill option me I would kill me this is the doctor oh my God I love how all these games have the same modeling and art design team every single one of these games I'm leaving to help more survivors I hope we oh see and Scarlet leaves it's exactly like the free sample it's just what I had said you eat the Peter bread the Peter bread is now gone you have no more Peter bread you have no more Scarlet this is the base basic recruitment area look at this tough guy with a baseball bat field medic fully outfitted and then girl with an incredibly short skirt all right go ahead give me some freebies we lost some folks on the way to he this guy that was the most uninspired law statement I think I've ever heard in my life Dr Gray I'm so glad I made it into the game I got a tower that just vomits out gunshots don't know if I need to apply them with bullets not really sure oh if you complete the chapter you get a massive syringe of steroids that's awesome how much food did I just have like chilling out in the background I had like 800,000 food or something just wandering around all right Amber and Scarlet and everyone else unfortunately the only thing that we get to eat in Camp is cans of sardines oh we have other individuals that we can recruit such as Dollar Store Joker the guy from Assassin's Creed and highly typical girl wearing almost most nothing with a gas powerered flamethrower chainsaw I'm over here upgrading my Malcolm what does it do I'm honestly not sure oh Amber you could use an upgrade too again not sure which part of her we're upgrading oh there's a story to her I had no idea hold on Amber was an outstanding Sergeant who was accepted into the Morning Glory Commando unit as a sniper do to her excellent camouflage skills camouflage Yep this girl just Blends in anywhere I don't know how I noticed I even had her on the team we've got a girl named Queenie over here in case you're wondering what her story is the tagline sums it up whatever they say I don't care she's a girl who loves country rock sports bikes and apparently depression puzzles and survival is like the magnum opus of all mobile games not only does it give you the ridiculous stupidity that you come to expect in every mobile game ad you get the stupidity in the first 2 seconds of the game I'm going to give it like an A minus out of 10 it exceeded my expectations so much I can't even give it a numeric score it just goes straight into the alphabet oh here we go become a dinosaur chew on other D what is coming out of that dinosaur what is this what is this random green spew coming out from a very inappropriate angle from the dinosaurs that's supposed to be blood is this keeping us a uh is this is this giving us an e for everyone rating we don't show actual red blood it should be just fine oh that didn't that's great there's your game play all right let's give it a shot what is this called tribal Conquest I told you it saved the E for everyone rating if I'm not bodied in the first couple of seconds by a gigantic walking Megalodon this is getting a zero out of 10 there's an entire story line to this why is everyone human I thought I was going to be a dinosaur I don't want some r random Clash of Clans clone riding on top of me I should be living my own life free and and that's a dragon that is not a dinosaur Left Behind was a dino egg which emitted a faint Aura of Dino Power the story line was translated through three different languages before it eventually spat this out wasn't it okay I have villagers do I get to your name is Jen she's a prehistoric woman and her name is Jen what's what's the chief's name like Robert oh it's just Chief the chief has given everything for the survival of the clan and is loved by all yeah we'll see about that I love that the very first thing we do as the chief is is make poor Jen do all of the manual labor where did the chief go he's just like yeah Jen I'm sure you can handle it that's why you're my second in command I'm not going to lie Jen is fantastic at deforesting the entire area uh did all the helpers did they come with the wood supply is it like a bunch of guys from Lowe's they're gone I rented them for5 seconds okay get a new home expand your territory I'm not a dinosaur yet why am I not a dinosaur yet I'm unhappy I would like to be a dinosaur now right now I'm just some poor girl that's being exploited for her ability to murder all vegetation in the immediate area like instantaneously this girl's act skills are off the chart Jen how many more trees must suffer oh I'm being attacked Dino egg for your life are we just going to throw Jen at this problem too young Chief I used my last shred of dino power to seal a dino Nest they just named everything Dino Chief you must use the dino kg to have yourself a dino Chino here we go we're opening up the dino egg oh finally can I finally get to be a dinosaur okay Gra the egg almost get murdered by a T-Rex I got a Wetlands Triceratops what is he doing is he basically just like a pet does he just kind of wander around the yard I have to feed him oh I guess I use him to murder The Barbarians this poor dinosaur was just born into the world and the very first thing he knows is violence let's deploy a Triceratops it's almost like deploying a turret or a land mine all right yeah deploy the Triceratops great yeah give him some meat go ahead and train him oh you confuse them okay and now he's level three I guess it is it's literally a turret as they walk by he penetrates their soul with his enormous Triceratop horns Victory okay do I is that it do I just do I keep murdering more and more people okay more more merging there he's level four all right there's the chief I mean is he is he going to get past it's looking pretty good he's doing all right oh I thought I had to stay in my little area the Triceratops just follows him stabbing him in the rectum until he dies few good The Barbarians have fled no they haven't Jen The Barbarians have not fled The Barbarians have been murdered okay they're Triceratops food he used to be vegan but because we never feed him he now feasts upon the Flesh of Barbarians I am so disappointed right now I'm building Warrior camps to make warriors but I have oh my god did anyone see the pixellation for the warrior in the beginning they should have just left the character like that that would have been awesome I'm riding a pterodactyl what is what is all this does this mean anything our Scouts have discovered their are dinos hiding in the forest do I get to eat other dinosaurs I'm so disappointed right now yeah cut down do lots of deforestation don't get to do anything the game tells you that you're going to do and get a thousand Stakes for your efforts I don't know if you noticed but Jen just said that she's going to go ahead and level this entire place oh I chopped down the trees and it spat out a dinosaur capture it okay what do you have to do to capture it attack I have to beat it to death and then when it's mostly unconscious it becomes my loyal Steed what in God's name is going on here here oh Jesus oh we are trying to break his Achilles tendons that's right that's what you get you just got a torn AC or whatever it is he'll never play football again how many of his people did I have to murder to get one 4600 he's like yeah I never liked those family members anyway I do appreciate you murdering everyone and making me the last of my kind well I'm going to tell you right now I never got to eat a dinosaur as a dinosaur in an arena in order to grow larger this is total and utter lies and thus Primal Conquest scores so low that it gets that I'm clicking on the off button on the mobile game prize anyway folks hope you enjoy this episode of Testing mobile game apps and driving myself crazy till the next time stay foxy much love

Channel: GrayStillPlays

Views: 533,651

Keywords: gameplay, simulator, gaming, graystillplays, and this happened, simulator games, video game, game, best games, funny, playthrough, mobile game, mobile games, mobile game ads, mobile game ad, playing mobile game ads, testing mobile game ads, testing game ads, every mobile game ad, worst mobile games, testing worst mobile games, buying video game ad, buying video game ads

Id: Ff7-t_T2Poo

Length: 22min 18sec (1338 seconds)

Published: Tue May 07 2024