I spent 4 years finding FUNNIEST life simulation games so you don't have to

all right we're checking out the only games where I get to fail at the simulations of life in the worst ways possible it's life simulators Life the game is a game where you can win or lose at literally every stage of life I didn't even get to the part where I was alive and I got stuck for 3 days trying to get out of your mother's room when you finally succeeded your mother was so tired of you she put you up for adoption and never attempted to contact you again fantastic I am a child with am bition Grace power footballing into the crib I now have to talk do I have to talk what if I don't want to talk none of these are talking things they're all like musical notes you never learned how to talk and are currently tied for the fewest word spoken world record with a bathtub oh the bathtub is the other one that shares this great ability of not being able to communicate in any way why a bathtub so what happens if I just like randomly hit things as fast as possible what if I only do do some of them like what happens if you do half does that matter oh you just it's either you win or you lose there's nothing in between you're either like the John F Kennedy's of children or you're just a nobody okay talk yes keep talking if you don't child there is literally no future for you it's it's this or the well you ever seen 300 yeah that's what happens when you don't click fast enough oh my God it's like a oh Lord oh you just barely survived I think I got braces study study what drag and drop oh was that me looking at math what age 2 no oh my God F minus it wasn't age2 no you hated Mass so much this is true in real life you dropped out of school at 8 years old when you applied for a job flipping burgers your application was rejected reason overqualified you just insulted a ton of people game also did I apply for this job at 8 years old that's kind of impressive what why does this have to be like a real life test uh yeah this and this and oh God it's 20 oh I think I just barely made it puberty oh you have to pop the pimples you can after the pimple incident what were my pimples filled with like radioactive sludge you became known as the nipple face guy a year later you agreed to a dirt cheap scar removal surgery performed by your cousin Allan you died on the spot Alan don't you dare give me surgery Allan I've done it I have popped enough pimples which I don't think you're supposed to do welcome to dating I only have three fingers I just noticed that I have to find love before I run out of time I what if I don't find love does it matter as a teenager you noted one of the cutest girls you'd ever laid eyes on to this day you consider this to be one of your biggest regrets and cry yourself to sleep every Tuesday and Friday huh so that means I got I got like five other days that I don't cry myself to sleep that sounds like a success story all right I guess I don't know I guess we're going to do this all right full contact dating uh is it okay if I date this person she's got a really cool knife yeah why not you were always attracted to dangerous chicks this time you went too far and were found the next day in seven different cities oh okay so knives bad knife's bad uh oh what's happening here is that a kitten am I going to get am I going to get murdered and fed to this cat I need to know oh my God kittens seeing that old lady so happy accompanied by only by cute little feline creatures made you get a tiny cat too today you live alone with 16.5 cats and spend 18 hours a day catering to their every need where's where's the other half of the cat this is scary am I like the type of person that keeps part of a cat in like a cooler or something like that in my bedroom okay yes no no I girl with tree wait is that a tree or a monster looks like she's holding hands with it yeah why not uh Alien I you know what I probably should have dated the alien it's a match I okay that was just luck do I have to play beer pong this is a uh this is a sport is that we we're considering this yeah it is hold on what happens if you fail oh know who are we kidding being bad at beer pong couldn't possibly ruin your life right yeah here have a free pass to get on with your life no I want to become Beer Pong Champion I'm not giving up like this bam look at that a triple in turn uh you can have this hot pepper and this milk you imbecile oh I wish it spent more time on the violently projectile vobi and guy you messed up big time not only that you poisoned your boss and got fired from your Dre dream job then you got charged with attempted murder and spend the next 20 years of your life in prison with a roommate named Papa Bear what all from a little jalapeno and milk like my favorite coffee flavor uh sea salt sweet sugar yeah there's some coffee here's some milk how's that that's how you make coffee right excellent you get to keep your job and not go to prison get married did I always have red hair I feel like I didn't always have red hair well I was very comfortable with my prison outfit there we go we'll wear the prison outfit here's some little prison are these shoes maybe these are prison shoes there we go is that unhappy your glamorous fashion sense caught your her fiance completely off guard she freaked out and ran away with your cousin Allan not Allan again all right well I'm not letting my I don't even know her name I'm not letting my soon to be wife here get married to Allan yes I still don't know who you are get kids uh oh now she has to do the kid thing what if she doesn't what happens if we just sit here bonding sort of kind of like doing the ET finger Shake thing she going to nothing to say here just try again oh and here's a funny for you what do you call a programmer from Finland a nerdic really all right kids here we go boom tons of kids all the kids am I supposed to just have one or two or doesn't matter a quad what H I can't believe there's that many spaces midlife crisis yep absolutely beer candy there's some cheese extra coffee more milk uh some underwear oh that pepper I love that pepper don't know what that is and oh that's a travel ticket I got I got part of the way toward my dream on your way home you realize you forgot to buy everything so you log yourself in your room forever and wonder what you could have been something I'm noticing about myself in this game is that if I even fail slightly at anything life ends there is no doovers there is no try harder next time I just give up we should all know though you never give up all right oh I did that count the car didn't really go into the shopping cart neither did my weights am I supposed to put this like very specifically in here oh I think it's supposed to stick okay so literally like a sticker you stick the car in there that makes absolutely no sense but whatever that's them's the rules I didn't make the game there we go then there's the weight obviously the size of a car why wouldn't it be there's my ticket to Florida I already live there I am back in Florida and apparently if you go to Florida you get six pack abs baby grandchildren oh oh no Dr get on your first day as a babysitter you managed to electrocute the first poison the second and set the third get on fire good job hold on I I get the opportunity no no stop stop trying to set yourself on fire no stop it stop it why why are you all so vant trying to die no everyone stay in the center of the room no stop it there we go okay I got I got the pattern now what's weird is I'm not really doing doing anything it's just like my telekinetic Powers oh stay healthy sort pink pill going to put this in the blue bot or the green you know what what if you're what if you're color blind okay like me what if I put them all in one bottle does it matter I had one of the pills in the right color bottle I don't like that these pills have very interesting gravity can I pick up the entire bottle who needs pills anyway is what you said a day before you went into drug with drug withdrawal and slipped into a coma so I'm not old I'm an addict I thought these pills were for arthritis or something I'm not going to lie no wonder they give you so much time these pills have a mind of their own you consider yourself lucky old man cuz you just barely survived I have to die dying is a game or just dying something I get for free loved by all what happens if I don't die can I wake up hold on just I just got to check real quick it said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die that is true it's called life absolutely not there's a lot more I could screw up it's voodoo doll this is a game that starts simply enough you're young girl going to school when suddenly another student takes the seat in front of you I love how there's like a little thing that tells you how annoyed the action makes you and now you have to determine what you're going to do to this poor person now each of these different points here do something horrifying and you have to discover which is which there's a really good chance that this kid is already so I'm going to choose the right hand just to see what happens oh all right well oh my God ah wow that went way further than I thought it was going to we went to 11 real fast I thought it was just supposed to like you know have some pain happen to his arm I didn't know that fate was going to change he was going to get his arm caught inside of the bus and have it drive away ripping it off I also like how his body is made of lime Jello-O all right 9:00 we get off the bus we probably had a great seat and someone cuts in front of us so the last time we picked an arm and an arm got ripped off I mean what happens if you use the head here we go okay so he's just trying to I love how he just continues to slowly rotate like one of those cakes on a display that's inside of a coffee shop it didn't really sever his head it just kind of made him eat a lightning bolt but I guess that's good enough for me we're on the street it's 11 a.m. there is a potted plant about to fall on this person oh I have to save someone I don't know I guess take out a kneecap or something I'm not really sure I saved a life oh the little thing over here look at it it's like oh you did such a good job 300 p.m. I've already killed two different people oh is this my boyfriend oh he's not paying attention to me we can fix that waiting for an appropriate head shot oh this isn't actually an instance of death it was just me controlling his mind okay we're at home in bed what what is going to go wrong oh that's not me that's the other girl you son of a am I breaking all of his limbs individually while she's sitting here watching this is what happens when you mess with the power of voodoo oh really this is where we end up at I'm actually kind of surprised that the game didn't have me do this earlier ah your boyfriend just got caught I know here I am telling him about how he can't be seeing this girl anymore he just tell me I'm ugly how about now I'm still ugly get on your knees there we go and tell me you love me he's like I don't know why but I'm suddenly violent L crying God his eyes are vomiting Tears like a Coca-Cola Freestyle machine I'm really surprised that we're back together again I he's looking at that girl one more time I'll go for the for the right arm again usually that ends up being pretty good what the hell is that the option that makes me go to hell how come he's the one that commits the crime but I'm the one that pisses off fate I mean I know I'm the reason he committed the crime but still his hand his plan all right we're now at the office is he hitting on the boss what happens if I do this we like head butter all right I'm going to try an arm though because the head thing seem what the hell would I give him superhuman strength I actually don't even know why this guy is still with me because out of all the different things I've done to him so far like he still hangs around yes beat yourself to death with your own cell phone back at the bus stop Where it All Began is he trying to sneak out all right if I do like a leg will he throw himself into traffic let's try let's try the right leg Yeah he lost all of his teeth that bus has legitimately killed more people at this point help him I wonder if I can not help him somehow like if I pick this will it do something that damn it and where do all these potted plants keep coming from trying to murder people are the plants just killing themselves or what the plants are like my owners a slob I can't take this anymore and they jump out the window it's late at night I'm a decent person which is actually very concerning looking for my boyfriend I've got to find him the best way to find him to prod the hell out of his voodoo doll what was that it's like Google like a Google Maps now I'm stalking him I feel like I'm the one that's a terrible person at this point although I haven't killed anyone in a good 3 hours distract him from what oh he's supposed to not see that I'm there I've got it hold on what did I force his arm to cover his own eyes it's like midnight and I'm still stalking this guy ah see buying drugs I knew it stop his plan jabbing people in the forehead usually seems to be a great idea boom head shot I got a question does he keep the massive head for all time I love that giving him elephantitis of the head is considered a fantas fantastic karmic thing I don't know if I agree with it but whatever okay so now he's being chased by a criminal so I have to save him by killing the criminal and literally by killing the criminal sometimes it's like you jab someone in the head and they have a freaking Bower fall on them and turn their entire skeletal system into jelly I can't believe how much stuff is happening like I already saved him one time is this like a different guy oh which which hand has the gun I can probably make this guy shoot himself he's probably righty most of them are let's try that oh no oh my God his body is vomiting out sour apple High sea and Karma is still like yeah you're you're a decent person okay and at this point now one of the criminals is coming after me oh I'm actually protecting myself now so what if I do like a leg do I kick him in the ball so hard that he explodes there give myself superhuman leg Powers day two at home with my boyfriend although again I still don't know why we're together all right watching TV he keeps changing the channels of course there's only way to one way to stop this and that's by getting revenge so the remote is in the left hand so let's do this one over here this time yes release the remote pleb he should feel fairly lucky because just forcing him to do stuff against his will is about the nicest thing that this voodoo doll does the rest of it is always just death all right now I'm the one watching nice news 25 romance article I'm about to vomit so change the show I can't even use the controller I have to use my Voodoo powers to change the show what happens if you click on the head on the [Music] TV what is that it wait did I win or did I lose well they just decide they didn't want to be together anymore my God I just ruined someone's relationship who had nothing to do with me boyfriend's making dinner in the kitchen not really sure why i' want to screw this up oh yeah I got it change the menu you think I'm a vegetarian so the right hand I think was holding the knife I'm trying to remember I assume I can get him to chop off his own hand yeah we're going to go with it and hope it's the right choice come on big winner big winner [Music] oh what the hell did he just yeat the veget vegetables out the window damn it I became a good person by accident all right we got an Amazon delivery yeah just uh oh okay it's a pizza delivery so I tried to get a pizza they're not going to deliver it to me so now I have to get my Vengeance by setting the man's head on fire his head is on fire wow I went from like a decent person all the way to the devil in one shot seriously you set One Man on Fire does he still this guy's a dedicated worker he still has his cell phone like tucked between his shoulder and his ear all right back at the bedroom over here sure my boyfriend's with a different girl again yeah you see this he's with Harley Quinn I knew it all right you know what to do punch her in the face or something here what the hell oh he's punching himself to death I would like to take the opportunity also to mention that this may look really bad but this is actually just just his hand clipping through his pants okay everyone understand that oh now I need to chase the interloper down I am burning alive at this point we're going for head shots all day to day lady boom all right now that I've killed the other girl I have to get into a fight with my boyfriend about this he's probably like where's Stephanie and I'd be like which part of Stephanie yeah yeah beg to take me back again I don't know why why we keep playing this but this this game of our relationship but I guess it's working okay I'm at the supermarket oh there's a thief look at that he tried to Rob this lady so if I click head he dies like for sure so let's go with the left arm this time not really sure what that might do oh he gets attacked by a police dog and the dog ripped his entire arm that might not have even been a police dog I think it was just a dog with a sweatshirt on now this dog has a taste for human flesh this game is amazing this stage is called hot dogs okay was he going to run out and I'm going to kill him how come Shaggy got his hot dog oh this girl cut me in line and now they're out see I probably have an opportunity to just steal the hot dog from her by choosing one of her arms or I can just kill her there oh she's choking to death on the hot dog what what's that ma'am you need someone to perform the heick maneuver yeah there's a cost to associated with that it's one hot dog please she's probably like but I already ate most of it yes spit it out on the concrete all right I'm back at the office apparently I work for father time he's annoyed because I'm late so let me guess head he probably smashes his head against the monitor I don't know what a leg would do to the guy I mean I can try it I don't really think it would be anything amazing oh je okay he just got a cramp and then cracked his head open on this on the floor all right having some donuts in the office all of a sudden a guy scares the hell out of us and I spill coffee all over my sailor fuku or whatever the hell it's called all right I haven't beaten anyone the skull for a while so you're getting instant killed yeah Splash hot coffee all over yourself oh never mind just drink flaming lava this poor guy he's like where did you get this coffee from the surface of the Sun hope you enjoy it ah Hot Dogs part two so I did manag to get a hot dog but now I can't eat because this couple over here is trying to kill each other oh I get to choose which one I'm going to ruin now um I think this is the girl that stole my hot dog last time I'm surprised she managed to get saved so we're going to pick her oh I can't not go for the head all right here we go head shot number two what is this megaphone what's happening oh she can't talk anymore she's mute now what is someone going to cut in front of me at going to the supermarket yep you see that how dare somebody step in front of me now you're going to get your arm ripped off in the door I'll bet it's going to happen told you 100% okay we're at the bus stop there's a long line I'll bet I can get rid of everyone I'm going to help the driver oh his bus is broken down I I don't know like head shot on the bus I really don't know what to do here I have an idea okay oh so he's going to fix the engine H wow I went right back to being a well sort of a good person it says I'm a good person but I'm still you know SA colored it's Wednesday I'm in the street a dog is chasing a young man I have to help him I'm going to stab him in the leg and see what happens I just killed the dog I'm pretty sure yeah I like how it pauses as the dog is falling down into the abys I didn't want to have to hurt the dog though even the game is like how dare you maybe it's just a bunch of pillows down there yeah the dog just lands on a bunch of inflatable toy rafts it's late at night there's a spooky house oh he broke into my house and he's stealing the money I would ask where I got all this money from but then I realized I can pretty much make people do whatever I want where do I keep this doll I don't think I have pockets in this dress all right Thanos I'm going for the head head shot head shot head shot oh he's getting a call on [Music] the oh my I thought his phone was going to ring and it was just going to make him stay for the police but it turned into a nuke and blew up his head what we're back at the bus stop which probably means someone oh am I going to help this guy help the guy so he doesn't have any money I mean I'm going to headshot him and I guess I'll see what happens is he going to kill someone and then did did his head just grow and then whacka all the ground causing a wallet full of money to pop out I mean the game seems to think I did the right right thing so I'm not going to ask any questions back at the office the boss gets on the elevator before me it's not like it can't fit two people I guess but what someone's got to get their leg ripped off actually if she gets her leg ripped off do I get to be the oh no my God so do I get that promotion now yeah I can see that now I'm going to hell every day is filled with body oh I just got r all right so the head is always instant death I'm going to go for another leg the leg was really good every day is just filled with death in this game all right so the guy falls to his death but I lost my money too like he still has my money all right dog in the street now I can finally save the dog I don't want him to get hit by a car or something I love how I happen to have a voodoo doll of like everyone in the entire city that I live in every man woman child inanimate object animal it doesn't matter I have it in a voodoo doll all right yeah make a make a left over here Pooch there we go that that should bring me back into the good graces okay we're back at the hot dog stand this this hot dog place has been I think more people have died here oh so I don't have any money so he's not going to serve me a hot dog but I'm still going to get revenge on him really I mean the game says so okay here we go is he is he getting up his entire hot dog cart just got abducted by alien the whole C well now I can't get a hot dog at all actually no one gets any hot dogs kind of screwed myself on that one okay obviously the hot dog vendor has been replaced with a different hot dog vendor that guy just choked to death on his hot dog I assume I have to save his life all right just beat yourself in the head until your hot dog was he projectile vomiting Floridian swamp water I mean I guess it helped him all right I'm at my part-time job I say it's part-time because I spend more time killing people than I do actually working well I'm trying to work but the problem is the coworker behind me is on his damn phone anytime I choose the head it seems like someone's head blows up with the cell phone wonder if I can get another head explosion he is bleeding out of his ears yeah see what happens kids see what happens when you're always on that damn cell phone all right obviously the boss is chewing out my cooworker over here which is kind of weird because it's not technically her fault that she lost her legs like he's probably like how come you were late to the meeting yesterday and she's like I had my legs ripped off inside of the elevator and he's like how could that possibly happen punch him in the face go ahead just use your hand and backhand him oh oh he's coming over oh never mind they just fell in love that was weird all right now I'm now I'm as as good as a human being as can get what the hell was that is he is he doing the robot I'm going to headshot you just because I'm really oh it's a lightning strike haven't seen that since the beginning over at the bus stop I have a feeling I'm going have to help it going to have to uh move them away all right how about with this arm what is that going to do is it just going to oh everyone honks and honks until the traffic moves okay yeah everyone get the hell moving come on there we go all right there's a domestic dispute going on in front of my house that's very annoying so I'm going to have to oh help the couple all right a head shot I'm going to go ahead and make them love each other again there we go yeah you thought you had free will not in my city okay and at this point I am now in the middle of a shootout in front of the supermarket okay I have to help the cop I have a feeling that this is going to end up with someone's head exploding but we've got to do it time to end on a high note it's 100 years life now as we give our child a totally appropriate name I have decided that on this go through we will choose stupid options from a different path and thus I will get help me over to age five so I can make the First Choice it's lunchtime at age five the lovely stabi sitting behind me the last time I invited her for lunch and it ruined my life I'm eating alone that's right walk away the last time we went out you left me for some rich dude and I ended up falling on my face and cracking a Moler over at cam I have the opportunity to either deal with some juveniles and get swallowed by Moby Dick or fish for what is almost certainly a dead body at the bottom of the lake I just realized that in this current life the only thing I'm doing is avoiding any human contact yeah I hope you're all having a good time because you're going to eventually get eaten by a freaking Megalodon the hell is like the most violent fish in the pond this fish is probably so pissed off because he's like yeah I've been drinking urine for the last 25 years you would be angry too oh I get it I can either tag everyone or what just leave can I just leave cuz it seemed like there was a choice here I did not want to tag that child you guys really suck at running away damn it I can't leave all I want in this game is social ostracism I can't become an appropriate serial kill kill without it jump off the board you're my first victim I said jump I was a banana last time for Halloween I'm going to be a clown today I'm kind of curious if this is going to come back to haunt me later on in life what the hell what the hell is like a violent Batman why so in age 12 the last time I came here I had the choice between world peace or God doesn't exist obviously I went the God doesn't exist path things didn't go well but I have a doing that world peace isn't going to make stuff any better I'm like the chosen child I'm the golden one I'm going to take over the world now and slay everyone the last time this happened I fought back but this time I'm just going to cry myself to sleep at night I'll make a list you're on it oh my God we going to kick a in while he's down oh they are they're just beating me to death welcome to age 15 where the choices looks like the fraking Miami Speedway I'm in bed everything is fine because I've got my running sneakers on prepared to flee should my father who enjoys skinning teenagers suddenly burst into my room I think I'll go to school this time since I skipped previously does my teacher have green hair oh that's a hat actually the teacher's probably like jokes on you I've been wearing this hat for so long it's melded into my skull I'm sure he's a nice guy too he's like hey have a seat you're late yeah listen buddy you're lucky I came to school in the first place and just like that after a lifetime of bad choices and somehow still being able to harness the power of God I ready to finally choose a mate now I chose Olga last time Michelle I think I'm going to save you for last Alice let me show you what it's like to live a life of violence and death are you sure no but yes psychosis here I come hanging out with Alice over at the mall kind of wonder what sort of things she likes ah carbs clothing coffee we been together for 2 years and I forgot your name already I swear to God if you leave for this guy with the fancy car yep you're all going to die the last time I was in here I ended up butt porag into the urinal so this time I'll actually knock on the stall this is weird before I go take a crap inside the urinal again I have to ask why was there a gigantic shirtless psychopath just sitting inside of the stall y you're welcome the last time I was in the showroom I chose the white car I really don't know what it did besides put me $50,000 more in debt so I'm going with the blue card this time it is a different life path so hey you two remember [Music] me all right the last time I spoke with this manager not only did she seduce me but she also fired me I became homeless and then ended up getting arrested absolutely not I'm busy you s damn it I'm fired again okay so I'm back under arrest but now I guess I'll just legitimately go to prison taking the gun didn't get me anywhere maybe I can get some gain time and get out early hello prison I'm here to gain lots of valuable skills oh my God this is where they put people who are homeless what is this like freaking alcatra oh hello Warden [Music] oh of course the strip search comes first I can't believe that one of the main choices in this game is the jumpsuit that I get to wear in prison didn't they stop wearing the Black and Whites like back in the 1920s I guess I'm Going Vintage my dude's like it looks fantastic ooh that put me on a really windy path prison here I come ah yes in the shower of course nothing can go wrong I love how the shower looks like it's just really it had to do the soap [Music] thing I was going to say I love how the shower head just look looks like it's spraying sour cream on me I mean I I've got to pick it what choice do I [Music] have no now in case anyone was wondering uh what just happened back there uh my guy found out that the soap that was dropped was used on animals that's right it was tested poor animals and that's what brought pain to his face anyway I guess I'll just continue showering this time maybe the okay good after spending 3 years in the shower I am now very clean and very angry all right we're in the yard I'm the only was this like a co-ed prison ah the priest hey remember I went to church yes he doesn't remember me it's actually paying off at the end I can totally get out of this all right all I have to do is go over here to the mop grab it kill everyone with it and then somehow fight my way out of the most maximum secure oh my God I just picked Jesus I'm doing everything a screwdriver looks like a death Implement to me after fixing up the church I can now stab the prison guard and get out all right time to see how industrious I've gotten while in prison is there going to be like a Skyrim it is it's like a Skyrim game all right hold on come on okay good oh yeah oh we're we're going to get there this is what you get for giving me a second chance this game if this game does not allow me to exact Vengeance on the woman who made me homeless I'm going to fill up a bathtub with coffee and then drown her in it I'm out of here oh there's an exit right next to my cell uh left or right I wait my left or your left you know what go this way there's a door doors are Good Ye okay now just kind of lift open the manhole cover and we're going to Ninja Turtle this thing I love feces Oh yeah getting that stealth skill up what kind of corridor is this it it does it looks like a damn DND D dungeon I'm where the hell am I who would put a manhole out here for real I'm out in the middle of the Sahara Desert I've been walking for 3 years I come across a teepee seems legit listen don't mind the black and white prison outfit it's very common where I come from also are those two like Google image camels in the back I love it it's like ripped straight from the internet oh they're letting me use one of their tents okay 40 years old I got a whole bunch of choices I can make inside of the tent homeless and alone dreaming about the day when I can kill all those who wronged me you're damn right I'm going to explore am I going to come across like Area 51 or something oh it's Florida in the distance climbing up the desert the sand dunes where the hell did I end up at ah an oasis every time where the hell did I get a fishing pole from oh that's right I fished when I was younger I have the skill everything has prepared me for this day now I'm going to catch the other annoying fish that lives inside of this Pond oh my that's the size of a freaking guitar oh I brought it back to my friends with their two Google image camels I finally managed to purchase a plane ticket home when suddenly I see a girl who is absolutely nothing like the original girl that I picked I don't even know why I went through all that when what the hell switch seats with Mother stay here look lady I'm 40 years old I finally have the opportunity to bring someone else into a life of crime deal with it ow your little child is going to end up getting put in a freaking headlock all right I guess it'll be a Good Samaritan because I don't have a choice thanks for ruining my chances at relationship Redemption and now I'm stuck between two dudes that look like they ate me for breakfast oh you got upgraded to business class hell yes business class son coming home as a total Chad feeling important is this my house or is this just some place I'm planning on burglarizing well I'm just going to walk in like I own the place regardless is there two tombstones over on the left there is it's 100% tombstones over here so because they died does this mean I get their place is that how life Works in this game oh it's my parents they're both dead no go inside run away yeah I'm not leaving their bodies can fertilize the grass I spent a lot of time getting back here wow they even left some hot dogs on the grill for me how long have those been there for the front door is open just go ahead and uh sit down and think about how I've made every terrible DEC what a hell how do they find me I've been on the run for like 10 years no I'm going to use this rubber duck since I have another life here I guess I'm going to have to just run away with tears streaming down my eyes and where am I did I just get into a police car am I going back to prison oh it was a taxi thank God if both choices ended up with me getting shot in the back I'd be pissed hey buddy love the hair listen I'll take your least expensive room what am I paying with here's my dead parents credit card urgent comedians needed I was going into the pub thinking I was going to become an alcoholic what is this was that K re behind the bar what did one boob say to the other boob you're my best friend please give me your money my tie needs hormone treatment so it could grow up it's like 8 in Too Short it is K Reeves what is the dumbest animal in the jungle the polar bear oh I'm going to be finally I'm going to get to be a millionaire in this game I always die with $20 to my name hope you all have a great night booya I'm sure I'll make tons of money from these two drunk people that make terrible Life Choices oh the crowd's getting bigger I got to keep I got to keep this going my hotel tried to charge me $10 extra for air conditioning that's not cool yeah that's right this is what you came for right everyone dad jokes all day here we go what do you call a cow with no legs I love it's kind of like the the stupid answers are pretty good but I still need to pay for this suit it's on loan also how did you get into this nightclub that one girl looked like she was like 13 I'm in like Vegas now why do cemeteries have fences people are dying to get in I'm not going to lie these are legitimately the jokes that Alexa tells yeah put your hands together this is what you wasted your money on what's blue and not heavy light blue that's right Google image people pretend that you give a now I'm in my private jet oh no so hold on can I give up everything for alcoholism or can I have a glass please wait a second wasn't this the lady that ended up upgrading me to business class hold on let me see what happens if I treat her nicely I've got bling on this is fantastic it's helped me stand up my private security is fighting back people the lights turn on it's a sold out concert what do you call a sad strawberry a blueberry that's right everyone each round of applause is another gold chain around my neck yeah good why can't a nose be 12 in because Pinocchio isn't real take that children yay show me with confetti and your tears everyone's leaving they've all had a great night some J oh my God what is my secur oh she beat the hell out of my security ask her to leave her give WR actually wait a second she beat the hell out of my security guard absolutely abolutely you're hired oh apparently I get everyone everyone's joining in yes one giant group hug that's right everyone let's all go commit felonies together that's right chilling out my entourage is nearby that looks like the cop that arrested me please tell me some jokes okay what do you call a calculator that works instantly I think the thing that really blows my mind is that like the stupid an like he not wrong but I want to keep adding expensive endangered animals to my my jacket so here we go yeah that's right marriage involves three rings the engagement ring the wedding ring and the suffering I actually never heard this one that's a good one everyone here must be married how am I in like a normal plane don't I have a private jet what am I finally oh I'm I'm I was like sluming it over here and now the oh my God the freaking PL ripped in half sit tight or jump I'm sure it'll be fine if I just sit here just pretend nothing's happening what could go wrong nothing's happening after oh I was going to say 60% of the plane is still there okay so I don't have a choice I've got to jump I don't know how this is going to like you know maybe I could use my jacket as a parachute an abandoned Island no matter what how do I always end up on an abandoned Island I was once a millionaire my parents they're dead I've been to prison I I knew I should have just taken my private jet I don't know what the hell I was thinking and now I'm starving to death on this island filled with Caribou Lightning Fast caribou and cannibals and Coconut's the size of small children I love how the options are help and you know just stand there staring hold on if I say help am I going to get shot with an arrow oh oh they are actually going to help me I thought I could have sworn I was going to die ah beef hunches I make friends with everyone I meet ah stretching my arms the girls are practicing like how to murder people in the distance join the training you're damn right I just got Sparta kicked I got like legalist over here showing me how to Triple Arrow slay a coconut after one year I am Chad of the Jungle suck it wolf I'm going to make a freaking Cape out of you did I just do a barrel flip many years have gone by I have killed a ton of innocent Wildlife I now have the opportunity to build a raft and go back to the place that you know put me in prison almost twice or I could stay here with two hot ninjas staying with the ninjas yeah you're right the city life sucks let us go and kill everything that's not us on this island I told you I would end up becoming a serial killer oh yeah we got a we got a fantastic Hut here the girls are completely doing inappropriate dancing oh my God what could go wrong a few years later I have a ton of children and two wives what come on kids I need to teach you how to kill strangers met with some Shipwrecked people help them hell no do you know who I am I have killed so many people with this stick that's right you're going to build our village the island continues we now have freaking crops I've got like a lookout tower my wives are doing quite well my kids are prospering I'm an old man and I look back upon my life and realize I don't know what the hell I just did for an hour and a half oh my God my na worth is $53,000 I was a comedian with a 65 strength and 80% happiness I spent 6 years in prison it's order please welcome to my restaurant yummy I feel like this should be in quotations I'm here to give as many people food poisoning as possible I would like to mention that guy came in with a full head of hair let's do this day one all right we've got our very first customer over here nice restaurant one steak please write down the order okay do I have to write the word steak or can I just draw a steak actually what would happen if I just drew a live cow okay looks a little bit more like a hippopotamus with a beaver tail but just use your imagination there we go don't really know if cows have legs that are quite that Stumpy but it's fine he needed to go through hormone therapy bam got it I love how she just accepted this she's like yeah it's probably it all right let's see here food order what does this look like uh H if I get him drunk enough he probably won't even know that I'm screwing this up all right here you go okay I I didn't expect that he would actually have a meltdown and die inside of my restaurant I love that he's still flipping out like the I've already failed and he's just his brain is still melting everyone behind you is drinking beer what's the problem you want a steak again okay so how about if I if I literally draw like a dead body I'm going to go one more than my normal and this dead body is going to have a pair of shorts there they're really they're cargo shorts and he's going to have a head of hair since the guy behind us is missing his I'll make him look unhappy too there he died as he lived sad all right imagine imagine like you have an employee and they you're the guy that makes the food and they hand you this and you're like oh okay what is closest to to a dead body I guess just a raw piece of meat all right here's your human steak oh he likes that all right it was not even cooked it's just right off the butcher shelf low expectations day two I'm actually kind of surprised I didn't think we would get past day one is this plant there before oh I've got a book Memorial I don't know if I want to remember this uh real quick is one of the memorials a dinosaur because it looks like a dinosaur also when do I get a maage this is amazing I get to see my life before I live it this is this is going to end up being the metaverse or something like that over at Facebook all right let's continue you want to order something else after what happened yesterday I'm kind of surprised call me if you want yeah this is a place where you buy food I'll give you my number write the number 9173 where's the rest of the numbers your number is like half of me calling the police kill me oh I need a total on here $531 don't ask me why oh I probably should have written down his actual number what happens if I call 911 it' be amazing if oh the police actually pick up are you serious yes okay I didn't actually think that it would let me call the police station I kind of figured it would just be like oh you fail look at this guy he's still talking to me on the phone he's like wait a second aren't you the lady that tried to feed the customer's human meat what happened to him why what why did he downsize it's just a little hat sitting on the chair all right let's try that again I hope your number stays the same because I actually have it memorized all right is it 9173 better be 9173 9173 I was way overzealous with my eat 917 re call I got that from Yeet it's like Morse code is that what happened to the conversation are we in love now oh you have the exact same Google Images art that I have in my bedroom room there's something I have to mention I don't know if anyone caught this uh can you see it right now does anything anything seem out of place in this room anything in particular why is there a gigantic stain sitting in front of the bookshelf what was he doing over here it looks like a body melted would your hamster diey and it just liquefied into the floor you know what I don't want to know all right day three at the Yummy Cafe thank you I'll be back did you actually buy anything this time oh he left me a present I better throw this away I thought I was going to throw in the dumpster you forget something no I didn't it's for you that'd be amazing if they had been oh all right that's oh wow trous words what words am I tracing you two what oh like I love you to the next button's in the way I don't know what I'm tracing uh I think that's it that's that should be pretty close here you go go what does that look like to you yay I do not know how we uh what is this like my dad I have no idea how he got you two out of that scribble all I did was just run my mouse back and forth because I couldn't see past the next button I love how Pennywise the clown is just chilling out next to me again another memory I kind of want to forget day four oh I've got a family over here how's it going there what is this Mr Clean and his son my grandpa is a priest I want pizza why I don't do those two things go together and burger Bugger I want pizza and buger I'm not going to lie your grandfather looks like he just got out of prison like right now he is scanning for the police he's like okay they didn't come in behind me I don't see any cameras on the wall this kid still hasn't figured out that I am not his actual grandfather all right Ash catch him hold on here let me let me get you set up trying to remember what a human heart looks like it's like some it's like a ventricle over here like a left and a right and a little little pumpy thing over here that looks pretty good that looks pretty heart likee I don't really know what a liver looks like so here's a link of sausage okay it doesn't really look like a link of sausage looks like a clown shoe you know what here's the leg that goes to the shoe there we go all righty again you're you're the you're the guy that has to whip this order up and you look at this and you're like what is that a brain getting soccer there's not even a total on here all right yeah pizza and burger make it so here's your pizza and burger child it smells good thanks do you want me to call someone like the FBI or cuz that guy I don't think you two are related I really don't I'm surprised this kid is probably like hey can I keep this order too another day at work day five I don't really know what happened when him and I like described our love for one another I'm here for dinner steak this is really weird because I don't really get the opportunity to do anything beer oh I didn't know you wanted two things this time you want anything else are you done Burger okay you just want I just water order one of everything you Glutton Pizza you do you want one of literally everything all the police all right go ahead and send that back to the Cook Cook's like uh yeah it looks like a burger and pizza oh now we have hot dogs and sodas on the menu oh well you're only going to get the steak because I misclicked does this mean we're not friends anymore steak burger Pizza beer don't ask it's like something from the movie The Ring all right here's everything you ordered I hope you get gastron titis that was delicious would you like to go on a date afterwards wait if I just turn him down does that just end the Game Wouldn't that just end the game it just ends the game well it doesn't end the game hold on never mind we're totally going on our date I don't even know how this happened where are we we're like an abandoned what are you doing use this stick to draw the rest I don't know if this is supposed to be romantic or lazy all right so he drew the half of the heart okay and I'm going to draw well I was going to try and draw a dinosaur but now it kind of looks like a sock puppet does that count actually that looks really inappropriate That was supposed to be dinosaur head oh I guess I guess it's okay at least he's not running away also how did you get this car over here on the sand have you ever tried to drive a car like this on Sand this is like Sugar Sand well I had my first date and I still have my skin that is a victory if I ever heard one oh it's another guy all right well what do you want sir I love to have dinner at this place really cuz this is the first time I've seen you hot stew okay is that it cold beer uh-huh are we we're doing temperatures now specialty hot does I like how he had to specify cold beer I can't imagine giving a guy warm beer how come everyone looks around during the order like I'm going to take them to jail you don't look hungry you look nervous I feel like I don't draw enough action so this time I'm actually going to draw a stick figure kicking another stick figure in the groin okay let's see here I know that that's what I said I would draw like the stick figure kicking the stick figure in the groin it kind of just looks like two stick figures back breaking a third stick figure whatever uh all right there was a stew which looks a little bit more like a pot pie but whatever stew be oh God this guy's angry face is amazing I'm actually kind of glad I failed okay let's see here this is interesting you can die for only $9.7 beer stew do dog next there there you go look at it right there that will give you botulism good luck newcomer what are you talking about I own this place it's my restaurant you're the newcomer you know what I'm throwing all this out get out you still owe me $9.7 I can buy new hair oh for $11,000 I can buy even more rare hair are these sunglasses all right I need I need $1,000 in order to do this hold on oh we've got a package all right what do we got here please sign your restaurant name well I can't do it because the next button is in the way I'm going to try and sign it as fraud I think I got it mostly there it kind of looks like France but he took it he was fine with it he's like ah it's a country it could also be a name maybe she meant Francis I love that I still get $100 for being terrible at my job I'm hoping that this is either his or my house it'd be amazing if we're just committing a burglary together oh did did I all right I guess I screwed something up I didn't I don't even know what I did I guess I'll just cry myself to sleep tonight sorry I'm not telling him sorry I don't know that this is my fault Get Wrecked nub my handwriting is like so bad I have no idea what this guy saw in me there you go get wrecked maybe oh wow that did not go over well I'm going to type in suck like you suck that's kind of close to sorry there about that that okay is that my apology do you accept it oh he accepted it I love how At first she was like I'm getting abducted who is this also what kind of cars this guy drive all right day number nine oh wow wait a second are you where you from Moana all right well I mean you're welcome it's hot and I'm thirsty yeah welcome to Florida three pizzas oh that you going to drink those pizzas five cups of soda all at once huh don't worry about the refills or anything all righty the cook will understand when I do this this is the symbol for the heart attack special see he's going to die with a cell phone in his hand because the kids can't get off that cell phone I have to I have to numerically do it now what was it five and like four pizzas it's three pizzas wasn't it also why is there just a random loaf of bread over here when we don't serve anything bread related like I have a hot dog bun it's not like two pieces of white bread I'm almost sure this guy was in one of the fast than the Furious is wait a second I have a question does it understand exactly how many of these I put down I need to check something all right well day 10 are we on the Titanic Leo don't you dare Oh I thought you were going to lift me up are you proposing to me that Ring's kind of small all right so what I'm going to do oh the next button I wanted to draw a turkey there's the sweet turkey there's the sweet turkey tail there we go little turkey gobler that hangs down there's the beak this is actually the best turkey I think I've ever drawn in my entire life and I'll I'll try and just kind of draw all over that there how about that here's a turkey huh ah I like turkey as well are we happy we're happy yay turkey has brought us together tell me I can get these awful glasses where are they yeah these ones oh God yep here we go hello ma'am oh that's a nice ring I'm surprised that's the thing that she noticed please give me something hot to drink all right I suppose we could heat up our bleach there we go once again my cook is probably like it kind of looks like a bleach container that got run over by a side by side here's a cup of coffee that'll be $395,000 oh you're back did you bring these with you check please all right what do we beef spicy soup all righty the total is going to be 60 0 Z you know what let's just just imagine yeah there we go we're just going to do all these and 55 cents all right I guess she was not happy at the cost of the bill I literally drew the heart and she's still unhappy with it did she tip me $3 she tipped me 10% I'm going to find you Mary all right day 13 time to get married apparently again there's red pants just chilling out I'm still wearing the glasses no way I'm too nervous to speak whoa d dad my dad's like ah good job I see you're wearing those sunglasses I gave you I love how in the background everything is completely synchronized like a Michael Jackson video please help I can't believe I actually managed to get please help out of this yay his soul is been destroyed I can't believe he accepted that the only thing I managed to get in was a single line I now pronounced you husband and wife you may now kiss didn't I oh the face oh the creepy face oh oh you again I'm surprised you actually came back are you married congratulations I mean how did you know one meat dish I guess you're you're not really too specific about the meat huh and cup of cold drink while you are killing me with the specifity here is a car literally running someone over all right one meat dish how many of these can okay hold on I need to know okay can you get what's the maximum nine so I can get nine of everything I wanted to do this I wanted to see like how many I can stack up okay 1 nine okay here we go here we go here we go yay yes I love how it's not even put together well it's just it's like a Jenga puzzle just stacked on top of one another how did I do this with the mugs of coffee this is actually amazing she should be a she should be amazed that she got this oh the door she did the face I did oh my God it is John Wick now he looks a little creepy Mr Wick feel free to oh this is him giving me his autograph well it's John Wick so here's a picture of a dog I love it it is really weird having John Wick stare at me with his mouth open open like that all right we got the mother and the child over here I think I remember you wasn't your dad Mr Clean oh it's the best mom I'm here with Mom today you got a lot of family members don't you cup of black coffee please is that for you or your mom forget that oh all right I'll have a glass of juice all right our coffee is actually pretty good and now your mom looks really unhappy your mom kind of looks like she wants to die also I love how every single day the only thing these guys like order is alcohol there's just a bunch of it's just four three or four alcoholics just chilling out in the back of my restaurant you know what kid here's a sword yep that looks like a cup of juice to me there you go it was too early to imitate adults I have you have you been to Starbucks it's like a legion of 8-year-olds buying Frappuccinos getting lattes with extra shots in them nothing wrong with that I'm just telling you that's how it is all right we're almost there oh someone's calling oh that that patches in through my through my computer system this is incredible hey may I make an order for delivery I didn't know we did this three hot dozes okay two cups of cold drink again I I really wish that you would be a little bit okay never mind five desserts I literally lost it that's all uh I think it was three of these and um five of these like two of these I have no idea yep I'm getting a bad yel reveal all right let's see here three hot dogs all right two bleaches five diabetes got it imagine getting this and actually knowing what this says like I can read this no one else should be able to read this all right ready three hot dogs we got here two bleaches five diabetes I don't remember if it was hot drinks or cold drinks it was cold drinks I'm getting a new haircut uh yeah give me this one now it matches my sunglasses oh yeah thank you for coming to Dinosaur Island what this is the honeymoon this incredible I'll tell you the PIN code of the gate please write it down why are you giving me the PIN code 5963 here is a picture of a dinosaur eating a human being oh my [Music] God why it's dangerous get in the car open up the gate all right now let me hold on well I can see I can see this has my future on it oh hold on if I call 911 again will the police come hold on checking air oh can't open it any any better ideas what a day all right I'll save myself but I still want die oh my God I'll never get tired of that all right all right five 9 63 there you go now now we can escape with our lives bye Dinosaur Island wait a second the door's not closing behind us oh it does close I was going to say all the dinosaurs will get out and we just destroy the entire planet how did it go from serving people food to Dinosaur Island it's 100 years simulator as usual we begin as all things do by yeting into an egg I met with four options only you look like Florida man congratulations this poor child is probably like no shut up you're now the main star of the show enjoy it what's your name they give me the name LS I tried to think of a name that embodies this child's entire future the only thing I could come up with was regret behold regret you are now on the path to 100 years crawl and embrace your future this gives no context it's just Dad or Mom since dad's mustache looks like it doesn't finish anything it starts Dad it is you better not make me regret this you're not wearing shoes you are a proper florid man why did you just take off your shirt what is happening no I'm not ret trying welcome to year two we're clearly failure is absolutely an option what sort of thing can we do this time to to completely distort my future ah a vase or a toy night I'm going to break this vase and then kill my father with the shards for failing to nurse me go my child hell [Music] yes oh my God I just killed my parent ah finally I come to a Crossroads in life it's lunch time I do not look like a 5-year-old I just look like a discount 13-year-old behind me sits June June loves two things goldfish and Ted Bundy so she's absolutely coming to lunch congratulations June serial killers are in apparently yay I'm on the Friendship path uh uh-uh coming back home to the what the holy hell what happened to this toilet it's not like it's dirty it's like someone power washed it with feces a sponge is not going to fix this apparently it is I can literally hear this sponge crying this sponge is like [Music] no congratulations sponge you now have the entire alphabet of hepatitis you're welcome age seven out camping with the family what could possibly go wrong ah an ax and fishing poles and totally random people swimming oh I feel like there's not a lot of death that can happen here I have a choice between joining them or fishing maybe I can get them to enjoy Insanity too hey let's see who can drink the most urine water what the hell is that in the distance what is that it's like like a death pyramid what the hell what the why is there like a prehistoric Megalodon in the W am I dead oh I'm actually floating through the digestive tract of the creature I did not expect my world to end up here what are you going to try and build a freaking raft what build a raft use feather one of these is just going to give the Megalodon a cold I kind of want to go completely down it's colon let us build a raft that's right everyone I I played stranded deep it's not that hard grab some wood grab some rope try not to get tetanus and you're set I got bad news kids apparently the raft can't fit down the colon I'm not really sure how I survived being digested by a gigantic like Floridian sharkasaurus but whatever 9 years old home alone in my room surrounded by Halloween decorations I have a choice between a banana and a clown I love how this Jack Lantern is just sitting here being like don't disappoint me child oh I was born to disappoint people my entire group is oh okay there's at least someone who's not a fruit come on everyone let us get diabetes nice House spooky house I'm kind of torn I feel like the spooky house might have something cool but I feel like the nice house always has a good serial killers all right we'll do the nice house I'm really hoping for the serial killers I'm not going to lie come on oh man she looks normal never mind she's she's a big oh now I have a choice between a spooky house and a scary house hell yes we're going to the Scary House spooky is just like Diet scary after all hi the last time we went to a house that paid their taxes we were really disappointed oh we just got a ton of [Music] candy I like how trying to lose I ended up winning learning how to swim I can't imagine how my father could screw this up I don't need to keep training I'm ready to drown I wasn't kidding I'm legitimately drowning dad you going to help a brother out here what I'm 12 years old this is where things can go horribly wrong being a Preen is like the worst what is this like communion world peace or God doesn't exist ye de there will be no world peace oh oh maybe this was a terrible idea what is happening am I about to kill everyone in my entire family that was nothing it like one beam the building still stands I'm disappointed clearly my my child is completely happy with my choice though I'm 15 years old this could go really really badly uh like any normal young man I like to sleep in all of my clothing with my Converse on waking up with some graphical air over here go to school or skip school come on man if there's one thing I'm good at it's disappointing my parents and apparently so are all of my friends June you've grown up to be such a complete disappointment to your parents now let's go into the woods and try and burn it down 20 years old holy crap that's a lot of potential options if one of these can't get me killed I'm going to be really sad all right playing on my cell phone for all hours of the day sounds good doing the old Tinder swipes okay I've got Michelle is that a gorilla I I did not mean to go past the gorilla I feel like I wanted the gorilla okay this that scares me I feel almost like a Criminal by picking her all right Bob scares me too but maybe I'll pick him later here's Olga oh so I can't go back so I have no choice I have to pick Olga through nothing else but default I am now married to Olga you know what maybe life with Olga is going to be the best let's find out ah over at the mall with Olga Olga telling me about all the people she has put into choke holds and killed on this day ah we're doing like DDR picking out some pants getting a over price Starbucks somehow the cup is levitating on top of her hand into the jewelry store to spend some money okay so you have the $100 ring and the $20,000 ring I don't even think I can buy the $20,000 ring I don't have $20,000 I'm going to buy this for her and I'm going to get RKO aren't I whatever those who cannot risk cannot get RKO oh sh it's $100 I could have been better if we didn't spend all our money on these coffees did I just get left am I single again woohoo my guy's like yes ah living The Bachelor free life age 22 all alone once more check my phone Olga probably tells me to go to hell do you want to hang out no I appreciate that my guy is incredibly persistent he will not let this go I mean if we're going to go into this we might as well do as many misspellings as we can WhatApp please talk to me or please respond is it eventually going to get to the point where my dude's going to be like I'm coming to your house with a gun please respond get lost my [Music] guy that was my oh my God I'm out of money and you throw yourself jump on wait like jump off the building or make up with hul I I I have to do it what am I supposed to do not pick this I am I'm on top of a building aren't I all right do the do the fortnite dance and then y oh I'm just up at the top actually jumper caller this game is desperately like Jesus gray stop hell no I'm not going to stop I'm not half assing this I want to know what happens to the game ye de I'm about to meet the street don't skip like day don't skip leg day don't skip okay okay I guess I'll call her Olga I've got two reasons why you should stay with me the first is I love your grapefruit sized mole and the second is I can survive a 40 story drop I can't imagine this not going well this game is still going to get me to try and kill myself isn't it hey we're back together again I'm 23 and I've been through a ton of hardship somehow we are still are you serious right now oh oh my god did my guy just say oh cry find a job this this game sets you up to die I'm 100% sure of it if I cry I'm in the middle of the street I'm going to get hit by a bus aren't I here we go that's right SOB SOB softly to yourself and prepare your anus for the incoming okay I didn't see that coming I guess I'm finding a job you got to pick yourself back up and instead of thinking about sinking into the bottom of the ocean you have to go and become a manager oh I'm I'm just assisting the manager I've got your teleporting cup of cappuccino enjoy Also I hope you enjoyed [Music] wow puner I've had a job for 8 hours I can already tell I'm done boom oh oh what the hell are you serious guess I'm clean clean up the spilt coffee here you go ma'am I hope you enjoy that freaking picture I made you are you serious this is a thing that's happening what kind of masochistic fism is going on here with my character here I am depressed sad wait you can go to the men's washroom or if I watch a video I can go to the women's washroom we both know the reason that you come to this channel is to watch me pick all the stupid answers so give me a second a few seconds later all right we're moving move in what the hell is going on in this bathroom I but for real though why was there just a whole group of bikini girls chilling out inside the women's bathroom it looks like my guy has to blow out the number two engine block is he going to do it in the Ural I have to know God oh no that is not a win do not cheer for yourself age 29 I met with the crossroads in my life do I get the incredible car or the incredible car where did I get this money from wait a second does the manager lady that I work for that likes to step on my head is she paying me like 150 Grand a year I don't know I mean I guess I have to pick the white car it matches the shirt that I've had since I was 12 years old I legit never thought I would make it to 30 but somehow here we are oh it's Olga hey Olga remember the day ha y well done good sir you finally got some of your self-respect back ah yes chilling out in my I have no idea where the hell I am is this like my apartment or what also who's talking to me get over here oh it's the angry manager are you going to step on me again AL I mean for 150 Grand a year I guess I'm okay with it but my coffee machine at home stopped working wait a minute do you want me to come to your house and fix your quote coffee machine could you come over later and fix it yeah I know what time it is over at the boss's house okay well she's got clothes on that's good that's actually more I love how there's just a random School Bus chilling out outside is that a picture of like her and her husband over here in the background great I see you got the $14 Amazon special why didn't you just buy a new one 1 hour later to fix a coffee machine actually knowing this game there's also a good chance that she's going to come up behind me and stab me oh sadistic manager lady your coffee machine's fixed also while I was here I killed your husband yeah chilling out in her underwear I knew it given the relationship we've had so far I almost feel like even this would be something that she would say in disappointment to me would you mind giving me a leg massage my dude is like do I kill myself sure thing boss or no we're going in remember all those times oh my God the leg in this polygonal game is just absolutely cancerous I love how she's like good boy look at the picture of my husband on the wall while you do so been at this for 3 hours oh I'm sorry I've been at it for 6 hours it should be great my hands are like iron now at this point I've been massaging legs for so long I don't need to buy a diamond ring anymore I can just Crush coal and make diamonds unfortunately it is completely appropriate to massage your boss I knew it I was waiting for the other shoe to drop you're fired yes I love that my gu is like a I okay this is this did not go the way I fora let me trudge out of the house we have gone to a deep dark place in this game I I have I have lived a life at this point I don't even know how old I am it really doesn't matter I've gone from like millionaire to like abused millionaire to a beggar I assume I'm going to go to prison now sir it is illegal to be homeless I I well I really don't have any defense then you're under arrest you know what else is under arrest your mustache oh no full criminal I've already committed all the crimes but I'll be walking away from this one now I'm a homeless dude with look at the barrel on that gun looks like a freaking flare gun time to go rob a bang oh yeah walk slow walking like a boss okay now it's starting to seem like this was a terrible idea I just got like 35 Stu STS in GTA oh my God it's an entire Legion of police what it's been a good run but at some point I can't let this guy go through any more hardships okay okay I guess I'll go to prison now yeah that's right everyone just Pat yourselves on the back I'll I'll find a way out I I've done so what the hell who the hell is that what is that like my lawyer my dude's legit thinking yeah I was going to say he's thinking about taking the car bye they call me Teflon Don baby I can get out of anything oh sh maybe not no what a rocket launcher on the police force turn left or floor it [Music] yes a rocket launcher okay I'm forced to turn left we're going to prolong the inevitable by driving into the Hudson I love how this game uses all these cinematic shots year 33 sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a police car I I really don't know how I'm going to survive this hit windshield kick door V these sound like a terrible idea but let's try the most impossible way first yeah have fun drowning to death I'm sure this dude is like how many more different ways can you kill me yeah listen I put all of my points in sadistic creativity all right swimming out of the car is there is there going to be a shark I feel like this would be yeah I called it I didn't even see that I knew that this was coming swim faster fight fight the shark yeah I feel like the real answer here is not to just swim faster land is very far away and that is a freaking shark never mind I'm a juggernaut I'm the fastest swimmer in the entire universe and for some reason the shark likes to swim sideways what the hell I found Atlantis okay so 50 years old do I now get to see like how my life has ended I'm here alone a Hermit I have gained and have lost everything what the hell happened I'm in the middle of nowhere I'm going to survive alone on this island for the next like 17 years drinking salt water I'm King of the island okay so what the hell what is this is that like the one person that was sad I died I died at 50 years old with a net worth of $20 I was a coffee boy sh 55 and happiness of 40% it's grade p papers please grade papers please is a game where you have to grade the things that Psychopathic children say when asked various test questions like what is this Canadian looking place here answer a bunch of ice then you must decide how good the answers are and you get eventually like raided from there I just got done speaking with a genuine Canadian and he said the answer is A+ from there we are Florida you know what yeah I feel like the climate is slightly different but you know what A+ is all around everyone's getting an A+ I like how that child walked away and he was like God thank you a teacher who's more stupid than I am the fact that she's saying that this is Japan I mean Japan isn't that far away at least before the real Florida was halfway across the entire Globe now as you might expect the answers get dumber and dumber as time goes on what actually happens if I choose the right object oh I get a plus one that won't be happening very often draw a flower the fact that this is a legitimate looking flower is slightly concerning I feel like there's a hidden meaning here all right girl your face looks like it was carved out of a baked potato for that alone you're getting an F my test was correct I'll sue you shut up and go to detention for the low low price of a watching an ad absolutely yeah get the hell out of here draw a cloud my dog ate the draw I didn't lose my exp streak I also have to mention why does my classroom look like it used to be a meth lab you'll notice that all of the all the glass in the back is broken as well I feel like giving this child an F just because he didn't ask the dog with a cloud tasted like make a line that connects the two dots there's two major issues here first off there shouldn't be any happy smiley faces in this class second off you look exactly like a young Joker he's got the color scheme and everything for that alone I will give you an a complete the phrase with a fitting word I unicorn farting rainbow apples it could also be pooping a rainbow in fact this might not be a rainbow it might be a waterfall or perhaps a burbling brook Babbling Brook it's some sort of anal Brook and since anal and apples both starts with an A you get an A+ congratulations what is my payment I cannot believe that I is that oh for a minute I thought that girl was giving me the middle finger I think she's just balling her fist up in order to knock out my teeth got $110 I can finally upgrade my classroom you can upgrade the windows but why would you want to the floor I'll upgrade yeah sure the walls too the windows are staying though this way if the kids ever decide they hate me they could just break out one of the shards and stab me to death I love that you can upgrade your students and one of them is literally epic come to school wearing a dinosaur Head worth 350 bucks absolute all right kids now follow me for Gem class it's like calisthenics except I'm going to make you look really stupid oh also I can apparently just rip my arm from its socket give me an L for lactose intolerant well done children now faster I said faster you don't skip leg day my watch congratulations especially you with the freaking dinosaur helmet on the first cells were probably lonely it's such a caring girl she even made a sad face at the end you're right young lady you get an A+ for that regardless of what the school thinks you should have gotten protect your egg baby no scratches no breaks home economics all right let's see here young man did you scalp Shrek and put his dismembered head on the egg that is fantastic A+ all right let's what the hell did you do I mean I guess there's no breaks not really sure why you decided to paint it into something that would give a normal human being a seizure but you know what A+ okay I oh is this little thing in here something that decided to happen on its own or did you do this little chick is part like I'm trying to escape prison so technically this is a break which means you get an f and get the hell out I think this was the first time in my entire life I got a perfect in this game find the X it's here how can I give this girl an F she's right it is here actually we have two x's all you need is a third one and this paper will get a lot better A+ congratulations young lady what the hell is this oh I have to make the the volcano explode so you do this you do this first okay then you do this this yeah then you do more of this and the volcano does its thing what the hell the volcano suddenly got filled with Greenery and now it's vomiting out confetti what happens if I just make you do one thing will you catch on fire no the volcano just the volcano did exactly what it was supposed the hell I still got awesome I didn't do anything right how about this we'll do it all blue actually how about this half blue half pink there these volcanoes have very low expectations I have no idea how I managed to get this I feel like this school should have done a better background check would have seen all my felonies draw a cow I think the sad part about this is this is a fantastic spaceship she could have taken the time to draw a legitimate cow this isn't a cow this is the thing that abuses cows when a cow sees this it has PTSD get an F draw an object that flies see if you would have traded your homework with the other girl she would have gotten an a Very God get the hell out of my class the Mona Lisa is a famous type of food to see right next to garia is the Mona Lisa you know what why not welcome to the school dance I have to make sure that the couples don't get too close oh see this now everyone everyone stay arms length apart can't have any of you learning what it's like to have friends out of here what you think someone could understand your mental distress bull crap you want to get rid of depression you better start AR asking your doctor to prescribe you some drugs and we have China it really this is really concerning the children are getting smarter and is not my fault I have to help you kids out here it's an F how about that who's next what do you got for me Europe I mean you're close I'm going to give you an egg and USA you know what everyone's wrong today I want to know what happens everyone fails congratul I got everything wrong and I got to see I still got paid $100 why am I even bothering to do a good job what's the common name of the composite Hydra oh Hakuna Matata not going to lie this is better than science well done name the shape Bob the shape is Happy how many vowels have the word car there was no question so I get an A+ ah yes it's the little Joker The Joker lit if you will you're right you do get an A+ little Joker's name is Oliver you may have these deal with it glasses oh we're back to the uh the protecting the egg what the the hell did you do you turned it into a sunny side up breakfast I mean technically if you were on naked and afraid you would get an A+ I have three cookies and I ate one how many cookies do I have left not enough not enough to get diabetes what country owns Greenland Bland I wish I could say this is wrong but I actually don't know who owns Greenland so you know what Bland sounds as good as anything else this is the flag of France France should be proud moving air is called wind wind rain or fart my little jok lit you had you had a prime opportunity and you didn't take it what planet has ring Saturn okay very good what else do we have over here matter is pulled To The Ground by gravity aliens normally I would say that you're wrong but you're the one wearing a dinosaur on your head so you know what sure I decided this classroom needed some things we're getting we're buying all this there's some planets all that there there's a freaking desk over there the broken windows are staying no I don't care what happens I'm keeping no matter what complete the plural with an S or an e s bus s or ES s these children are smarter than they have any right being I feel like this is because I put the damn planets over there in the background I've given you children too much I don't know if I can get rid of it all all right all right you're getting n what is the strongest force on Earth love what have you been listening to John may I have to do it draw a dog five I'm really annoyed at this young man I'm not annoyed that you didn't draw a dog I'm more annoyed that you just copped out with the number five other people are drawing UFOs maybe a dead body but instead you just answered it with a five you fail now let this be a lesson to all you underage scumbags if you don't know the answer just draw a dead body all right what do we got here calculate a lot what the hell dut a flower my brain hurts just looking at this has given me cataracts I I don't know what what happened here I don't think the game knows what happened here get a name the following continent Billy I noticed that you guys name everything with B names the other one was Bob wasn't it name three animals that live specifically in the Arctic three polar bears okay now let's take a second here this test did not say name three different animals it did just say three animals little Susie I want to let you know that I believe in your answer and this is not red ink in this pen it's blood how many days are in one week too many I love how it's an unhappy face and the child himself just looks unhappy I feel like I would ask this kid's so unhappy I feel like I would ask him what's your favorite food group and he'd be like bleach have an A+ for your sadness animals that eat other animals are called carnivores herbivores mean welcome to the world of missed opportunities which instrument measures earthquakes all right everything here is pretty normal I mean I'm still going to give you an F when something is not fair it is fairest Fair unfair this girl is drowning I spent way too much time looking at this only to realize that this young girl is slowly suffocating inside of a fishbowl you get 2 seconds to die if you don't you're getting an f one two you're still alive what the hell we're in home economics with the egg baby did you think by putting Batman's head on your broken egg I wouldn't realize that you failed as a parent well you're absolutely right which natural Hazard is caused by weather flooding I saw this immediately farts or volcanic eruption I feel like this depends on where you are in the world down here in Florida it's so hot that people flatulate violently all the time A+ where do earthquakes usually occur near plate boundaries near the ocean in space space I love how happy she looks about her her answer she's like did I win no no young lady you failed so badly that both of your parents are driving their car off a bridge as we speak identify each body part hair eye butt you were so close I also appreciate that they basically ripped a head right out of Fallout we don't need copyright where we're going I've got so much money from teaching children how to be bad people oh let's see here Dora you may have this football helmet Elijah you look like a top hat wearing kind of guy Emma gets the monacle Josh get the dollar store glasses all right I think I've got almost everyone outfitted at this point and I have an entire classroom of serial killers we're here on the globe um I feel like this girl had no idea what to say so she was just like ah wakanda you got a 50% chance of being right what is the purpose of an experiment test a hypothesis communicate data explode things okay look first off I love the glasses second off if you're going to put that as a as one of the choices on the test how can a kid not choose that in which state do the particles show the most movement New York I kind of like this answer if the question was in which state do particles show the most alcoholism the answer would have been Florida I'm not going to lie this is a great opportunity to do this for every place on the entire planet in which state do the particles show the most depression would that be like Washington state gets like 18 days of sun a year you get an A which natural Hazard is caused by weather flooding apples or volcanic eruption what I love how now we're at the point where like Global whatevering is getting so bad that we're going to be bludgeon to death by a hurricane of fruit on the plus side this would solve world hunger so A+ indicate the region where California is located in here I mean she's right California is roughly in here I can't imagine a freaking school test this like this though she could have made her Circle this big and somewhere over here whatever you get an A here we go this is what I'm talking about indicate the region where the US is located she just circled the entire planet the sad part is she's half right because like she got half of the US I want to give this girl an A+ so I'm doing it I don't care don't mind me just helping Jason Vorhees make a volcano wait a second didn't I just didn't I just help you was they giving out hockey masks in the parking lot okay I want to take the opportunity to mention I I wasn't wrong it was the same kid it appears Mr Liam that you've been leading two lives which one is the famous classical musician Britney Spears Aussie osbor or Mozart to be fair it's 2021 right now so Aussie Osborne might be considered classical he's the man I'm giving him an A M day has 23 hours where the hell did the other hour go I also don't know what planet I'm on so it's possible that this place where these children are all learning how to be psychos is in fact a 23-hour Planet yeah why not I gave you an egg to protect and your egg hatched a dinosaur you're your egg hatched an extinct species how can I fail this kid it's perfect lie hello fairy god liar oh you are like really making my nose explode out of my face aren't you walking down the hallway at school no big deal $500 laying on the ground take it throw it away I like how there's no option to do the right thing it doesn't say give it back or like bring it to Lost and Found it's just use it as kindling or take it I'm taking the money it's $500 that better actually show up in my wallet in the game what is this what is happening what am I I I'm walking toward a disembodied torso in head it's going to change my haircut oh I can have violent red hair you got it oh yeah now I look like a human Pokémon I like it now it's time to age up 5 months and become an even more potent liar than I already am am I going to get any taller I already noticed I am way bigger than than all of the other children in the school sleeping in bed fully clothed because that's how we roll got to turn off the alarm 30 minutes later is it is today a school day not that it really matters ah yes I'm late for school there's my mother who I've tried all right Google transla hold on here I can oh my God so real quick everyone uh does anyone right now see what's wrong with this scene when you see it you'll understand why I screamed in fear no no does does no one notice that there is a random severed hand sitting on the side of the screen why is a floating disembodied arm in my room you know what I do have a stomach ache it's from eating the rest of the person that was attached to that hand last night oh God tummy oh poor child take some rest poor child take some rest yeah I'll put that rest right next to the $500 I found in school all right go ahead and uh crane kick my way off the bed over here so I could tap to celebrate okay oh yeah oh I see I've kicked over the wow the water really spreads in the how much water was in this glass it's like a dimensional portal I love how it's not even empty it's still holding an entire Ocean's worth of glass clean the carpet can I clean it in like a certain line oh you actually can if I would have known that I would have made like a like a y for a ye or something that's good enough I like how he cleans the carpet like one1 of the way what happened to the new carpet oh the carpet was thirsty dad come on this is one of those new fangled carpets all right you're supposed to water it obviously how dumb is my dad from your pocket money $50 oh to be fair I am rich I'll try this is just a new design wow looks really cool I don't think it does it looks wet all right I've got $10,000 in my I don't know what this is it's not really a bank five more months go by D to upgrade my Hideout I like how it's a hideout this place looks like like who could miss it it's not really well hidden right what happens if I upgrade the home oh I got a fence now it's not actually tall enough to keep me from falling and dying but hey it's something all right brand new play area you know what bigger play area you know what the best play area I have a rock climbing wall now okay put some lighting on the house a gigantic pool and a Christmas tree and a staircase and a headed got like a Edge maze in here and another fence I I I literally think I just spent more money on like my fake Treehouse than my parents spent on their actual house all right well maybe I can get something better to roll around on this looks like it could kill me all right ye Cliff onward tap to eat candies okay all right oh yeah tastes like sweet diabetes why does my bed keep levitating in and out of the area I don't really know what's happening over here who ate all the candies the Doge ate it a bird flew in and ate it don't you ever throw your dog under the bus was a bird this is Florida there's birds everywhere windows closed you're grounded I just took one for the team dog you better not forget that please wash the dishes while I'm gone I don't know if I want to do that play video games I love that my mom is just Moon walking on the side up here oh never mind she completely froze she broke down my mom ran out of ram someone help time to make some money on YouTube playing video games oh my God what happened to my thumbs they forgot to grow up all right how does this game work do I have to like jump over the mushrooms or eat them wow I my my vertical is incredible yeah ah my leg wow because I failed in my game why did you do the dishes I was watching a movie I was doing homework I love how the movie is the one with the monacle this is worth more isn't it like in life I never got anywhere doing homework I was watching a movie I'm going to get grounded aren't do the dishes for whole week for whole week you say how about homework I was doing homework now my mom should know well son I am proud of you my mother should know me by now I haven't done homework in like 7 years I dab on the homework I dab on it why is my dad just looking at this random painting he's like ah yes a nice abstract art of a worther original out of the way children I'm here to run people over and answer questions what is this personality test pick any three cards okay what do we got cell phone internet would you rather live without oh my God I'm not sure I could survive without either of these probably cell phones what do you see where's lemon lime cotton candy it's a tree would you rather be invisible or able to fly able to fly so I could leave Earth all right what's my personality I'm a stealthy Thief you will be nearly impossible to deter if you decide that a property is worth your time nothing can keep you away from your mission what do it have to do with going to school apparently I went to ninja school when do I get to become a teenager all right don't worry i' I've been told I'm a I'm a stealthy Thief so grabbing mom's money wow she was literally looking at me and she had no idea that I just did that hey Mom where did all my money go Dad stole it remember that divorce you wanted let me help you get it Dad stole it now go beat him to death weird let's check your room first no don't check my room what is this how come you don't trust your son oh no let me try again while Mom's playing candy crush on her phone until you know she ate her phone did you know that she just it just disappeared all right let's try thieves a thie stole it oh her phone's back she vomited it out great now I wasted her time and she's wasting the police time how come I have to escape the cops where did the thief go he ran away he vanished he's one of those hog warts thieves he vanished okay like like a like a Naruto Thief stop checking my room why does nobody trust me oh that's why all right how about he ran he ran away how come I'm answering the question wait I am going to search bye I just ran straight out of the house I don't think I'll ever see that cop again I am going to sleep please don't disturb me if you want to do something without me disturbing you you should probably not say anything that you're doing prank mother see what happens see what happens when you tell your son what's going on a brick or a balloon brick ah yes a nice soft brick to lay on I make sure you lean back as hard as possible nothing could go wrong now my mother has a concussion great pranking always comes in twos though mom broken light bulb red siren what does this even do was she going to jump out the window in fear okay red light bulb maybe it's filled with the blood of the innocent oh it's giving her an epileptic seizure back in school taking it well I would say taking a test but I'm clearly sleeping this is how I take my tests see I take them subliminally the teacher is like all right let me walk over here now when I was a kid what the teacher would do was just smash your desk while you were asleep and scare you to death I was praying I wasn't sleeping was doing your project all night this is the right one isn't it was doing your project all night wow very good take some rest really you don't mind I love about the teachers like you know what this class isn't that important anyway go ahead go to sleep I don't care what happened to this child over here oh I'm stealing his food I'm just taking his whole sandwich where did my lunch go it ran away you already ate it I love how all of the students are read reading their non-existent books they like man the budget cuts this year are really bad this kid's typing on a computer that doesn't exist I'm going to try that you already ate it already ate it that sounds ridiculous I have been hungry all day for this well it ain't my fault all right I guess I have to pick this one I want to let you know kid the kid with the smaller head always yields the right away to the kid with a bigger head I think your mom forgot to pack lunch yeah maybe she looked quite busy today she looked quite busy today oh I'm a skilled fabricator now I like how he just accepts it and he's just going to go hungry ah food is optional hello fairy God yeus are you making my nose even longer yep you sure are I could murder a human being with this thing now a hoverboard okay this isn't like a hoverboard this is this is like something out of Iron Man I am I'm I'm hovering off the ground I have the power of science beneath my feet and I just grew up six more months I need to buy a gift for my G I have a GF where I've been spending all of my time stealing from my mother well apparently and stealing from my father now as well yoink to the credit card what is in your hand my school ID my driver's license I have to do it to be fair I do actually have a car you know at 8 years old my driver's license remember dad I can drive you are not old enough for one I that is true but I still have a driver's license all right I guess I'll do my school ID even though it looks like a Visa see you later thanks Dad this is why you're poor swipe card to the right where am I bringing this do I have my own card swipe yep all right I just got my girlfriend over here a Gucci bag snitch on mom who swiped my card he's sitting there he's like what what happened there's like a $1,200 charge on my card mom did it mom did it oh I planted the card in her bag I am destroying my own family no wonder I'm an only child there's a flying clock in school am I seeing this or or am I on drugs what does this do what is happening oh I just I I leveled up like an age I'm like a 13-year-old now I'm like a teenager all right now I have a real group of friends over here I got to talk to these girls talk to cute girl which one is that you couldn't have at least said like the one in the blue dress or something all right I guess I'll just make it up as I go along hi cute girl pick up line dance for her dance out I got to dance yeah yeah pelvic thrust time what do you think that's cute where do you stay are you kidding me right now are you inside the White House I mean technically my house is white like the color the paint color in the white house that's not even in the state loser oh apparently we don't live a my eyes okay I guess the mansion in a mansion nearby Wow Let's go to your Mansion oh no fake house what was there just a mansion laying on the side of the road what is this a mansion my house is named Mansion this is my spare house look this is just a spare okay oh she is totally cool with that see this is where I work out and this is where I boil the innocent hey no making out in school Tom is flirting that is not flirting beat him up also have to mention something real quick look at how gigantic his head is remember how I said the kid with the bigger head always gets to call the shots I mean technically I guess I should just let him have her but that's not happening I'm going to have to beat him up hey Tom Get Wrecked oh yeah drop kick roundhouse kick he may be dead we'll never see Tom again and let's see here I need to buy some new clothing apparently here's a sweet suit I can wear yeah W it looks like I took my grandmother's drapes and turned them into a suit and pants you know what I like it like a character out of Mr Bean oh you know what I'm reminded of the kingsman teacher teacher that was like 6 years ago call your parents tomorrow my parents don't have a phone because I keep stealing all of their money prank friend oh friend art for you water spider always spiders yeah get inside the shoe spider that's my trained spider you better not hurt that spider either when you put your foot in there that's right put your shoe inside your mouth or it could bite you on the forehead and probably inject you with Venom that'll kill you he actually died he's dead also I'm going to glue his backpack to the the table you got to take the whole thing to school don't mind me just going to the park with my girlfriend over here all right everything's doing fine so far looks like there's quite a few people at the park I'm going to have to murder a bunch of them so that what is happening where this other girl I have an ex who was that girl I honestly have no clue my cousin I don't know if I want to be this close with my cousin both of these answers are really bad ALS so my nose is so long how do I kiss any girls there's no way I would skewer a human being straight through the head my nose look it's legitimately wider than her entire skull I'm going to say my school friend my school friend okay so I will also kiss my friends from now I don't I don't know if that's good this is weird I don't like this relationship anymore hey the game wants me to pick my cousin are you serious okay I'll do it my cousin how do you feel about that family is always important I don't know if I feel that booty duty what what is booty just staring her butt yes also could you say that in Google Translate again because listening to you mess up that grammar is hilarious they remind me of watermelons wait is that making fun of her did I just did I just call her fat checking the pants I gifted her yes i' I spend a lot of money on my friends a is she drinking a bottle of wine how old are these students this game is so strange be safe we will be back in some time is that is that my dad that doesn't look like my dad it looks like a totally different man okay bye parents maybe possibly parents I really don't know you know what don't come back because it scares me that you're completely different people than I remember swipe up to kick yate oh God oh my God oh my God the house is on fire oh the entire house is on fire I am so sorry that fire it was there when I got here you left the heater on overnight you did this your heater on overnight OMG I must have forgotten are we are we are we going to leave that there we're just going to leave that there the fire is Raging and no one cares fix fire stop the fire what if I don't want to I'm not going to lie our dinner table Burns for a long long time this is faned like like mahogany or something I don't even know if mahogany Burns well it was just the first wood that came to mind I can't stop it the fire is so strong I'm a pro con artist now hi Fairy Godmother yei thing will you give me an even larger nose now the answer is yes my nose is now onethird of my entire body weight I'm bored can you meet me I mean I guess so I kind of like the fact that what is that what is this is that a human hand it is a bloated human hand God this game is cursed okay see you soon all right got to go see my girlfriend what you doing I'm checking the window sill Integrity just wanted some fresh air I wanted some fresh air okay let's spend time together in the garden oh Mom uh kids and parents don't actually do anything together what is this toos Insanity happening over here what is this do you see this there's a random girl loving her too's life all right I think I heard someone outside I think I heard someone outside oh no please Che it properly I love that she doesn't mind throwing her 15-year-old son out to like you know fight the Intruder that could be outside hi Dad where are you going to meet Grandma I ate a lot I'm going for a run this one has the longer nose ate a lot going for a run go ahead buiness is so important I love how he doesn't question the fact that I'm in an entire full suit wow your house is fantastic it's kind of kind of monochrome though like the walls are white the floor is white the sheets are white man if you eat like spaghetti or something in here you'll mess the whole room up I am now going to be 16 years old 15.8 16.4 I guess I could buy some new clothing too I can be what is this what is this like a samurai I don't I don't know what I am you know what whatever this is this is I'm a demon now I always wanted to be Unholy when I grew up don't mind me I'm the leader of the demon crew where are you guys going uh to clubbing what happened to my mask you're under 18 go home I mean I'm like 2 years away man give me a break prank coach all right let's see here coach is coming in to the oh death why is there a candle down here all right let me go ahead and put these live wires here yeah that's that's what happens that's what happens when you don't give the kids what they want you die hold on I have to kill him more here here's some fire as well yeah go ahead and grab go ahead and grab the the thing right there yeah now your hands burning isn't it now you've been electrocuted and set on fire well done this game is messed up all right me and the girlfriend sneaking through the house well Terri doing a terrible job we're heading into the bedroom do you know why Mom this girl my girlfriend she's been with me for like six years she's a thief she is a Thief what that's right go get her mom okay okay yeah she's a school project partner not like I actually do any school work work hard kids uh okay bye going to go do projects inside no weddings what is this no weddings will you ever get married no I'm already married I am already married no way who would marry you loser oh oh ow that's that was actually a really brutal burn wait a second you're with me okay I I guess we can but I don't have any money sure but I'm broke see look at my wallet then I don't want to marry you oh ow okay well I love my guy is like yeah sing to life again baby look out everyone Bachelor coming through what is your favorite thing about me oh this is a totally different girl I'm going to get slapped in the face so hard wink get away from me pervert oh I she's just Sho me away I thought I was going to get kicked in the head all right I guess your eyes your eyes not like I can see them inside of my demon mask let us go to the dance floor random girl oh wow this is it's like two girls that're like a carbon what is this dance should I become a should I become a professional dancer please do yes but only perform in your bathroom yes but only perform in your bathroom that girl's jaw is coming out of her mouth look at it look at it right there oh god oh it's awful her entire set of teeth is chilling out outside of her mouth there's the dance again you get to see it twice become a singer and let us never speak of this again no babe you are a better singer you know me so well I sure do that's why I have a hot dog growing out of my face the time has come to finally become an adult here we are do I look F fat it's just a bad mirror no way it's just a bad mirror blame it on the mirror I got worried for nothing this guy's like oh wow this kid is a compulsive liar yes I am good sir can you buy this watch for me I mean I can steal it I left my wallet at home oh no I left my wallet at home I can see it in your hand oh yeah I forgot about that I I can't believe I just left it in my hand like that what was I thinking here's $88,000 here we are my girlfriend and I over at the bar as things always do a random te pose girl comes over and loves me ow just broke my jaw I guess I really wasn't using it anyway I know how to make things better by pranking my girlfriend of course red chili red chili flakes yeah have a have a have a bite of that I'm going to replace your water with Drano or lemon juice who there you go have something to drink yeah wash that down with some Citrus ah there's the coach seeing him in the hallway why did you skip practice today do 10 push-ups give him a shock how I mean I I want to do it but I just tased my own coach he's dying he's dead I killed a man on school property and no one cares everyone's just going to leave his dead body there legit no one cares guess he wasn't a very good coach well my lies kind of caught up with me and now the school is down a coach because he's dead anyway folks hope youo this episode of perfect Li next time see foxy much love

Channel: GrayStillPlays

Views: 4,518,266

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Id: WXvgss_CorQ

Length: 118min 7sec (7087 seconds)

Published: Thu Oct 12 2023