All right. We're checking out the only game where you go
through your entire life, only to find out it's a giant lie. It's The Perfect Lie. It's going to be a fantastic life cycle
when you're a child who gets a zero on a 100 score exam report
like I couldn't even get one single point. I love that both of my options
are completely destructive. Neither of this involves showing my mother
it's either tear it or burn it. Well, luckily, mom happens to have
this epileptic fire going for me already so we can go ahead and give our homework
the old heave ho. Am I gonna burn down the house with this? Oh, I'm just going to put it
into the garbage can. Hey, Mom, did you get your exam results? Oh, there's. There's Google Translate. So I know the game is The Perfect Lie,
but I love how there is no way to tell the truth.
You either lie or you lie more. We will get it next week
or yes, I got 100%. Now, to be fair, the number 100
did appear on my- on my exam. Okay, so this isn't really a lie. I did get a hundred. There just happened
to be a 00 on top of it. Yes, I got 100%. Great job, son.
I- Wait, what? Are you serious? I feel like even the son is going to
look at this and be like. How? Look at him. He's like, how did. What is this? I saw you lied to your mom. How could-
"I curse you. Every time you lie, your nose gets longer." Maybe that's what my mom wants. I love how diet Tinkerbell shows up from the floor. She's been waiting her whole life
for me to say something this stupid just so that she could pop up and be like, "I curse you." OMG, what? How do I remove the curse? I honestly don't want to know. I'd rather just get a giant nose
and then stab people to death with it. I want like a claymore
for a nose eventually. OMG what Are we going to follow this-
"Become the world's best liar and your curse will be removed." Wait, wait. What? So how does this teach me anything? This game has a lot of
reverse logic going on. It's like I curse you
because you're a liar. Well, how do I fix it? You never stop lying. You got it. Okay, I will do it. I will meet you soon to check your progress.
Newbie Liar. It's like I'm at work and I'm going to be getting a review
about how I've done on the job. She's going to be like,
Yeah, lies were a little limp this week. I'm expecting you
to really crank up the numbers next week. All right, newbie liar.
Let us begin our life together. Oh, is this the different liar stages?
The kids are just jumping out of the window! Teacher There was only six of us
in the room and all of them are gone. I'm the one that's going
to get caught, aren't I? It's because I have
absolutely no athleticism. Tap, tap, tap to jump.
What if I don't want to jump? Oh, I have to. I have to work
up the courage. All right, Ahhhh! Good job!
I thought I was going to get caught. Looks like I'm inside of a prison.
Not really a school so much. Hi, Ms. Teacher.
Why did you miss school yesterday? I don't remember doing that. Also, is it four in the afternoon?
What kind of school is this? I thought it was Sunday.
My aunt passed away. Both of these are really the lies
that I'm looking for. And I'm having trouble
coming up with anything better because of this giant bulging growth
that's on the side of what I assume is supposed to be
the earth in the background. Look how this is raising up off the globe. I think it's Africa
and it's trying to leave. I wonder if I can eventually just run out
of like ancestors and stuff to pass away. Oh, that's so sad. Please sit down. It's not.
I actually hated her. And now I'm going to dab on you.
Is this kid reading the newspaper? This is supposed to be a test. I thought he was looking at
the classifieds or something. Cheat in exam. This isn't a grammar exam, is it? How am I supposed to cheat?
Tap and hold to cheat. I'm starting with a C plus. Okay.
I don't have to do anything. I could just pass the way it is. I can just sit back and relax,
tap and hold. All right, here we go. So, do you-
Okay. How about some more? I want to get all-
Oh, we're at a B-plus. Can you get above an A.
Did I just get seen? Is he going to come over to me
and skin me alive? I'm going get slapped across the face. Both have the same answers
because great minds think alike. Oh, I can throw him under the bus! We studied together. He cheated from me. *shouting*
I thought that was kind of like a man bun on his head. I guess that was just
another child's head. I don't know why this child's head
is so much smaller than this child's head. All right, give me my $100.
What am I spending my money on as an eight year old? All right, come on down. The school. He has been bunking school lately. Escape. Say sorry. Well,
neither of these are lies, so I'm not actually happy
with either of these answers. But if I have to deal
with the consequences of my actions, I'd rather just leave
hate through the legs. Walking along. A little puppy in the roadway.
Would hate to leave him there. because I don't actually have a chance
to do anything else. So I guess I have a doge now. Hey, Mom. I just abducted this dog. I heard barking. Must be the dog outside. Must be the TV. The TV is not even on. How dumb is my mom?
I need to know. Hold on. Must be the TV. All right, so the TV is clearly not on. Is she going to say something about this?
But the TV is off. Oh, no, I've been found out.
I didn't realize this could happen. I thought I could win no matter what. All right. We'll do the dog outside. Oh, there is actually a dog outside. I can't believe that. I hate dogs. You're not a mother anymore, then.
Hello there, Poochie. I'm going to give you a cool name. Can you get me some food? The dog talks, Oh, there's like a whole hamburger
inside the fridge. So should he have pizza? Burger?
Oh, we have beer. Congratulations, dog.
Your name is now pork flop. Do you like Bud Light and pizza? All dogs like pizza. Here we go. Why was my dad hiding
behind the refrigerator? What is with this game? Did you see him? He was like sitting there all day
waiting for me to feed the dog that I brought home.
Which one? The burger or the pizza. Mom took it. It got stale, so I threw it. I'm going to keep throwing people
under the bus as much as humanly possible every time I get the opportunity to.
Go yell at mom. As a matter of fact,
I can't wait for the divorce to happen. Oh thanks son! He buys it. Back in school, here to learn absolutely nothing. Move the chair. Well, this isn't so much the lying
as it is just, you know, potentially destroying someone's
spinal column, which I'm also okay with. Why did you move my chair? The chair legs are broken.
There was a roach on it. I'm going to pick this one.
I just saved your life. You could have gotten salmonella. There we go. Yeah.
Sit on top of your desk. I'm a hero. Oh, I got rookie storyteller. I've gone up a level in lies. I fairy Lie Mother, whatever your name is.
How am I doing? Oh, here we go. This is. This is the time I've been waiting for. It's like adolescence. Ready? Oh, my nose. Oh, there's a three on one. They are pummeling this child to death. Protect him or run away. I am absolutely not protecting him. Sorry. Say hello to my hideout. I'm allowed to upgrade it
with all these different things. Such as a I guess that's doghouse house. Is that where I'm supposed to live?
I really don't know. This was not the play area I just bought. This looks like an area
where I can hurt myself. Everything here could potentially kill me. This is just high enough to strangle me. I could fall off this and break my neck. Go inside here and get heat exhaustion. All right. Final exam day. Now, you may say to yourself-
What? Match the correct item- Do I have to? Can I match something else?
What happens if I do this? But what if I do? What happens if I can? I connect things
that don't even make any sense. What came first? The baby or the egg? If I do this, do I fail? Do I? Do I succeed? My nose is slightly longer,
so that's nice. It was terrible. I think I got a zero. I will surely fail. Could have been better.
Could have been better. Give us $100 and
we will help you in next exam. I don't want to be helped
in the next exam. I don't have $25.
I mean, I guess I'll give it to them. And was dollars $25 is pretty good in
like first grade. Get money. Tap to ask for money. "Why do you need it?"
To buy food. I can say this and she'll be like, that's
the exact same thing my husband told me. I feel like I could get more
if I say it's for a school project. Oh, she's just forking it over. Tons of Benjamins. All right, I got $100 for that.
What kind of parents are these? I was lucky if I used to get, like, $5 to do projects with.
What? Oh, it's like. It's like a chest. Why did I open?
Oh, I got, like, a new hairstyle. I love how it brings me over to the to the
new, like, styles of clothing and stuff. And it doesn't give me any bonuses.
I still can't afford any of this. Even with the money I hustled from my mother I don't have enough. Playing a video game in the living room. Dad comes over. Stop playing games.
You're grounded for a week. I wasn't playing the game.
I was eating it. It seriously looked like
he was eating that game prank. Prank Father.
This is a great way to not get in trouble. We're doing the bucket. All right, Dad. Oh, yeah. Oh, oh, oh. Glue or hammer? Glue. What? Am I going to beat him to death with a hammer? What is happening?
Oh, oh, oh, oh my God! I just murdered my father.
Well done! I mean, literally, he is well done. He is, in fact, cooking right now. I'm just going to leave him cooking. You can see how unsure of himself
he is back here. He's like, maybe I shouldn't have done that. No, you absolutely should have done that.
Question mark. Okay, guess the lie: Owls have the largest eyes in the world
and ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. I know this to be true, so it's the owl. Dog's smell 40 times better. Dogs do not dream
They absolutely dream. 40% of people dream in black and white.
Most people fall asleep Not my wife.
I'm gonna go with this one. Yeah. Thanks to the power of money. I mean, like real life money. I can do everything. I'm gonna make this
place look stacked. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's hot. Okay, now I think my playhouse looks pretty cool,
including the Hubble telescope that's coming out of the ceiling
I'm gonna get a better shirt, too. What is that, a chicken? Like a sad ninja. What are these things? Yeah. Good. Give me the man
bag over by the pool. No diving allowed.
Am I just going in with all my clothes on? I am. I don't even care.
I just bought this man bag. Yeah. What is this, the one lifeguard? There's no one in the pool,
man. Give me a break. Why did you dive in the pool?
I slipped and fell. So that pushed me in your pool. I slipped and fell in. Oh, no. Take care, young boy. Bluff Master. Now, I'm going to tip-toe-
Full front flip inside the pool. I love how I just- I just sit there completely
clothed in the pool and no one cares. Hold to pee!
Yayyyyyy!!!! Oh-
Who is this? Where are all these people coming from?
"Did you just pee inside the pool." No, that's lemon juice. I think it's a drainage issue. I think it's a drainage issue. Oh, sorry. I'll get it checked ASAP. I just somersaulted in my own pee. Oh, yes. Nothing
like some delicious urinate. $50 cash, if you can eat a burger in 10
seconds. You got it. I mean, is the burger for free
or do I have to pay for this, too? Oh, tap to eat.
Faster!!!! There! I'm probably going
to vomit that out later. Thanks for the $50. What kind of school
has this type of competition? Just chilling out in the in the hallway.
I kind of want to go there. Oh, I got a dog upgrade. Let him starve is the other option. It's not. Just leave him behind. You either get the dog or he dies.
All right. I'll take the dog. Coming in to see how tall I am. Four inches tall. Bye. Okay. Bye. What kind of? I don't know. That's how height works. Four inches. All right, everyone,
stand up by this thing over here. Yes, Coach. I'm almost six feet tall. I- Uh- *crying*
Oh, the sound of the crying. You don't want liars on your team, you're gonna get one.
"Yes, coach, exactly five foot." "Okay, great, we will measure tomorrow."
New shoes. What, am I going to get platforms? Hey, Mom, is there a way that I can take, like, 17 pairs of shoes
and just super glue them all together? The coach kind of
asked me to get them, but not really. Coach asked me to get them. Okay, go ahead. Yeah, just keep forking out the cash, Mom.
Select a shoe. All of these are absolutely terrible. I want the red ones.
Look at that. Look at the platform shoes. This is the best outfit
a child could potentially wear. I've decided. I don't know how.
What is happening outside? Why is there an entire group of children
just levitating outside? the school is amazing.
Time to throw a spitball at the teacher. Oh, it's a physical ball. I almost murdered her. I was doing baseball practice. Oh, there's kids outside.
Throw 'em under the bus! I thought it was just like a miss thing. You're all suspended.
Every single one of you. And now she's going to go out there
and beat you all to death. What is going on? Who is the Burt Reynolds teacher? We saw a snake. There is a fire.
There is a fire. But the fire. We saw a snake. I also like that I'm not the only-
Was that a child that just exploded out the window? Did they just-
Did he just evaporate through the wall? I'm a Novice Deceiver.
Hi, Fairy God Liar. Do I get a bigger nose now? Sure do. This is what my life has culminated to. I'm finally going to get a girlfriend.
Extra homework for you. Are you serious? This was the first time I was making a friend.
Prank teacher. I know. I know how
to get my girlfriend out of this. I'll murder the teacher. Banana or rope?
What, am I gonna strangle her to death? Let's use the rope. The last time I pranked
someone, they died. They actually died. Okay. So it started with a trip and a fall
which probably gave the poor lady brain damage.
And now we're going to use a wrench. Okay, so am I going to put the wrench
on her chair or is it going to. So now not only does
she have brain damage, she has two bulging discs in her back. I just ruined this lady's
entire life because she- She, like, badmouthed my girlfriend.
Can I help you, sir? are failed. I don't know There's no evidence of my failure.
WAUGHHHHHH!!! talking with my friends
that I keep throwing under the bus. Go with friends, go home. I feel like if I go with
these friends, I'll have more opportunities to hurt people. So we're going to go with the friends.
"Sure. Let's go." No one has ever commented
on my gigantic nose. We have a deejay. We're eight years old. This girl's drinking a beer. She's not even out of the third grade. Oh, Mom's calling me. Yo, Mom, what's up? I'm in the club. I'm over here drinking
brews and committing felonies. I got lost. I had extra class. To be fair this is act-
she'll probably buy this because I've been failing
every single test I've taken. Who's gonna say I got lost?
Got lost on the way home? Well, we live 5 minutes away from school. Yeah, well, it's a really winding road. I had extra class
after school. Very good, son. I will get you a gift. Broken vase at this secret party. All right. I'm just going to go ahead
and chug a drink. It's like an entire bottle of wine. Oh, yeah. You got to tip that back and snort
it with my giant nose. Knows how come this pot is.
I did not do this. Some sort of crazy
matrix stuff happen there. I had nothing to do with that guys. There's a parent here?!?
"How'd that vase break?"
Ghosts. There must have been an earthquake. Because that's what it looked like to me. Oh, no. Are you all okay? What I. What do you think? It's an earthquake that only exists
in one small part of the planet. One five by five area. I love that his mom is as dumb as my mom. Is that a-
Is that a bird? To have to that to
get a pet bird now or what if starved to death, a little bird,
adopt it, let it fly away. You know, I'm sure.
Let's take all the animals. All right. I guess
you're going to fly around me now. and then frying you, playing soccer
with a beach ball. Because that's how we do it these days.
"Why are your clothes so dirty." What do you care? I fell in a puddle
of my own urine, which is real. That actually happens outside. So what? They're still-
This is Florida. I guess I got bullied.
"Aww, no way." you're going to go out there
and beat them to death. The Blame Game.
I'm really good at that. Who was he? Oh, let's see. Nope. Let's absolutely blame Tom.
"It was Tom." Hi, Tom! Tom's like, Whoa, break. Oh, Mom and Dad is. Oh, wait, that's not mom. Oh, no cheating Father.
Yahhh!!! Make sure voices need to join. Oh, it's just okay, because I'm a liar. I have no other option.
All right. Yeah, cheating's fine. Whatever. Oh, Mom's right here.
"Who's making that moaning noise inside?" It's one of the 30 dogs I have. Dad is getting a massage. Looks like Dad is doing the massaging,
but it's really weird. He's creepily massaging her arm. I think he's testing it
to see how tender it is before he eats her. Dad's watching an adult movie. I mean, this doesn't mean anything bad. It's just a Quentin Tarantino film. I just saved your life. "I will tell Mom, if you don't give me a..."
Huh, don't give me a what? A new car? Yeah. Please give me a car. Tell me he's going to give me a car. Eight years old. Who gave you the car? I won the lottery. I won the lottery.
Where is the remaining cash? I spent it on the car. Borrowed it from my friend. Wow, enjoy! I borrowed it from my friend. My life as a liar has been amazing! I'm not even out
of second grade and I have a car. Anyway, folks, hope you enjoyed this episode of The Perfect Liar.
Until next time: Stay foxy and much love.
