>>> YOU'RE WATCHING THE GAME SHOW NETWORK. AT 10:00, IT'S "WHITE JEOPA" [ LAUGHTER ] BUT UP NOW, IT'S "MATCH FINDERS." ♪♪ >> HELLO, AND WELCOME TO "MATCH FINDERS." I'M YOUR HOST, EMERIL MIKE DISGAIN. AND I'M SORRY I'M LATE, BUT TEENAGER RAN UP BEHIND ME A PUNCHED ME IN THE BACK OF T HEAD. [ LAUGHTER ] HOPE YOU GOT INTO THE CRIPS SON. [ LAUGHTER ] LET'S MEET OUR LUCKY BACHELORETTE. >> HI, EMERIL. >> HER NAME IS LISA G. SHE'S 23 YEARS OLD, AND SHE LOT OF FUN. >> I'M ACTUALLY 33, NOT 23. >> AND YOU'RE NOT A LOT OF EITHER. [ LAUGHTER ] AND I'M TRYING TO SELL A LIFESTYLE HERE. LET'S MEET OUR ELIGIBLE BACHELORS. ♪♪ TODD IS AN INSTAGRAM MODEL A GLASS EYE. >> I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE G READ THAT OUT LOUD. [ LAUGHTER ] >> JASON IS AN ELECTRONIC SPECIALIST AT BEST BUY. >> I'LL HOOK YOU UP, AND TH I'LL HOOK UP WITH YOU. >> DAMN. [ LAUGHTER ] >> AND BENEDICT IS A "SMART PROFESSOR FROM GERMANY." >> I WAS RAISED IN A HOUSE OF WOMEN, SO AS YOU CAN IMA, I KNOW MY WAY AROUND A WOMA BODY. [ LAUGHTER ] >> ALL RIGHT. >> LISA, WHY DON'T YOU ASK E BACHELORS THEIR FIRST QUEST? >> OKAY, I'M A GIRL THAT LI TO BE PAMPERED. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE SURE I'VD A GOOD TIME ON OUR FIRST DA? >> I WOULD TAKE YOU TO TREASURE BASE SPA FOR A MAS, AND THEN A LATE DINNER AT DORSIA. AND IF THINGS GO WELL, YOU' ALSO BE JOINING ME FOR BREAKFAST. [ CROWD OOHS ] >> OOH, I LIKE THAT. BACHELOR NUMBER TWO? >> I'D MAKE YOU DINNER AT H AND THEN WE COULD WATCH A M. ALTHOUGH, IF THINGS GO WELLM NOT SURE WE'D DO MUCH WATCH. [ CHEERS ] >> OOOOOH. I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT. BACHELOR NUMBER 3, HOW WOULU MAKE SURE I HAD A GOOD TIME? >> WELL, FIRST I WOULD MASS YOUR LABIA MAJORA -- [ LAUGHTER ] AND THEN, I WOULD MOUNT A SUBTLE YET FOCUSED CAMPAIGN YOUR CLITORIS. [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE ] >> WELL, THERE ARE NO WRONG ANSWERS ON "MATCH FINDERS." [ LAUGHTER ] DAMN, THAT WAS CLOSE. >> I'M SORRY, DID SOMEONE S THAT ONE ALREADY? >> NO, SON, THEY SURE DIDN'. [ LAUGHTER ] GO AHEAD, LISA. >> BACHELORS, I LOVE TO LEA NEW THINGS. TELL ME SOMETHING I DON'T K. >> YOU WOULDN'T GUESS IT BY LOOKING AT ME, BUT I'M ACTU A PRETTY GOOD DANCER. A-CHA-CHA CHA. [ LAUGHTER ] >> YOU WOULDN'T GUESS IT BY LOOKING AT IT, BUT THE HUMA VAGINA HAS THREE DISTINCT H. THE URETHRA, THE VULVA, AND COURSE, THE [ BLEEP ] HOLE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? [ LAUGHTER ] >> THIS IS A NICE GIRL. >> AS I SAID, EMERIL, I GRE THE ONLY BOY IN THE HOUSE F OF VERY, VERY OLD WOMEN. >> THAT MAKES IT WORSE. [ LAUGHTER ] >> BACHELOR NUMBER TWO, YOU DIDN'T ANSWER THE QUESTION. >> I YIELD ALL MY TIME TO T GENTLEMAN WITH THE PONYTAIL. [ LAUGHTER ] >> WAIT A MINUTE, SON, YOU TO BE MORE SPECIFIC. THERE'S TWO OF US UP HERE. [ LAUGHTER ] YEAH. >> BACHELOR NUMBER 3, WHAT D YOU DO TO MAKE ME FEEL SPEC? >> OH, YOU'RE JUST GOING TOK RIGHT INTO TRAFFIC? [ LAUGHTER ] >> FIRST, I WOULD LAY DOWN BEACH TOWEL ON TOP OF THE B SHEETS SO THAT YOU WOULDN'TL SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT -- [ BUZZES ] [ LAUGHTER ] >> YEAH, HAD TO DOWNLOAD A BUZZER APP ON MY PHONE. >> WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IS YO BIGGEST FEAR. >> A BEE IN MY HAT. >> GHOSTS. >> GETTING THROAT CANCER FR CUNNILINGUS. >> I LIKE THAT, EXPLAIN. >> DON'T. >> MY DOCTOR SAYS IF I MUNCE MORE BOX. IF I SCARF ONE MORE CARPET,I JUST CHOW DOWN ON ONE MORE MAT, I'LL END UP JUST LIKE MICHAEL DOUGLAS. >> MICHAEL DOUGLAS IS ALIVE. >> NO MAN IS ALIVE WHEN YOUE AWAY THAT WHICH HE LOVES. >> THAT'S IT, I'M CALLING I. LISA, WHO DO YOU PICK? [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
Mix-ups between vulva and vagina aren't unique, but this one seemed especially badwomensanatomy worthy since the guy (Russell Crowe) is telling a woman something that she "doesn't know" in order to impress her, and he is supposed to have an impressive knowledge of women's anatomy and of how to please women sexually.
Omg that was hilarious.
"You're just going to walk right into traffic!"
Wow. That has got to be Russell Crow's best ever performance!
I laughed so hard I scared the cat.
He also said the anus was in the vulva (or, in his words, the vagina)
Snapshots:
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