-Okay, so, Stefon, Halloween -- always a big deal in New York. So, why don't you tell us about
some of the best spots for people to check out?
-Yes. If you need to get
a spot checked out, I know just the place for you. New York's hottest club is
[deep voice] Jelly Bones. [ Normal voice ] Located on
the Lower Upper Side, this random home invasion
is the creation of legally-drunk
clothing designer Nick Nolte and Gabana. As you walk in, you'll be handed
a glass of champagne, or is it piss? ♪♪ ♪♪ -Megan, you look so cute. -Oh, thanks. Janelle, will you, like, fluff
the back of my hair? I feel like it's getting flat. -Yeah, yeah. You guys,
I love how, like, we're keeping it
so chill this year.
-I know. -So, we're just grabbing dinner and then heading to
Ryan's for a bit?
-Mm-hmm. -You guys, let's do a selfie. -Oh, okay. -Alright, ready? Smile! [ Camera shutter clicks ] -This is gonna be
such a fun night. This night [bleep] sucks! -I gave my credit card to
someone, and I don't have it. Who has it?
-Please, hurry up! I need to get pizza. -Oh! Pizza, bitch! -Hey, Megan.
Will you draw my whiskers? Yours look, like, so good.
-Yes. I did, like, a little white line
underneath for definition. -Oh, that's so smart. -Yes! Like, that's how
I want mine to look. I'm gonna look so cute! [ Sobbing ] I'm so ugly. -Don't say that. -Megan, don't. You stop, 'cause you have
been a bitch to me all night. -That's because
you wouldn't wait.
-No, no! You said to go, Megan!
-Ohh! Oh, no! -Should I paint my nails yellow? -Oh, yeah. You should do yellow
for the cheese. -Hey, if you wanna be a cat,
too, like, I have extra. -Oh, that's okay.
I like being the cheese. Why did you make me
be the cheese? You guys got to be cute.
And you made me be the cheese. -Where the [bleep] is my tail? Aren't these shoes are cute? It was so hard to find grey ones
that matched. Please wait. I got it now. Oh, wait for me. ♪♪ Guys! -You know what? I think
I'm not gonna drink tonight. -Good idea, Janelle.
-That's so smart, Janelle. -Oh, no.
-Oh, hey! What up, baby? You want some of this? -That's it.
You and your drunk friends got to get out
of my restaurant now. -No, you cannot yell at her. -Get out of my store, okay,
before I turn the hose on you. -Oh, yeah,
you would love to do that, you nasty pervert!
-Pervert! -Pervert!
-Pervert! -This is spooky! -What the hell?
-My [bleep] eyelash! Aah! Ooh, I look cute. -Aah!
[ Glass shatters ] -Oh, my God! Every year! -Tonight was so fun. -Yeah. I'm so glad
it was just us girls. -Hey, what about me? -Ew. Who let that guy in? -I have no frickin' idea. ♪♪ -Wow, Patrick, you really went
all out for this
Halloween party. -Yeah, well, Mr. Tergins
is coming. I had to make it look good
for the boss. -Yeah. He's going to love it. -Speaking of love, I hope
that new girl Shana is coming. -Oh, she is super sexy, y'all. -Yeah, yeah. It's like she
stepped out of a pantyhose ad. -Oh, nice!
-Nice. -Watch out! Boss man's here.
Everybody run. Just joshin'.
[ Laughter ] -Tergins!
-Tergins! -Oh, that is the best costume. Let me guess --
you're a man from the '90s. -I'm not in costume, Becky. -Sorry. I'm a cat. -Great. Hey, guys.
Is Shana coming? -Well, she RSVP'd. -Oop, there it is. I guess I am in a costume.
It's called happy guy. [ Doorbell rings ] -Well, the doorbell
must be Shana. -Uh, yeah, it sounded sexy. -[ Chuckles ] Oh. Ooh, sorry I'm late, everybody. My bunny tail kept
getting squished when I was driving here. So I had to take off my skirt and finish the drive
in my panties. -I wish I were the beaded
seat cover in that car. -Me too. -Me too times two. -Me too times two, also,
for me. -Would you mind looking and telling me
if my tail is still squished? -I'd be happy to do that.
I'd be happy to.
-Sure. Check it out.
-Okay. -Oh-ho! Whoo-hoo! -Is it work--
Is it working okay? -Everything's working for me.
Yow! -Ooh, thank you, Mr. Tergins. I really like your
Planet Hollywood jacket. Can I touch it
and get a sense of it? -Yes. Oof, that feels good.
Yeah. You know,
they have a whole website. Um, it's, uh -- What is it? It's, uh --
Ah, I'm a dummy. Uh, planethollywood.com. -Ooh.
-[Sighs] -That is one sexy
piece of biscuit. -Somebody pass me the jam. -I will also need
a portion of jam, as well. -Oh, look, hot caramel
for apples. [ Laughing ] Isn't it funny
how some people say "cara-mel" and other people say "car-mel"? But nobody says "cream-al." -Shana, I'm going to start
calling you Seinfeld because that was
a funny observation. -Okay, apple, time to get hot
and sticky, then go in my mouth. -Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
-Take a big bite of it maybe. -That was sexy to the un-max. -Truth.
-Truth for me, as well. -You guys wouldn't know sexy
if it sat in your lap and jiggled so hard
that the neighbors complained. Hey, watch this. Shana, look out
for that spider over there. -What spider? Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ohh! Spider! Ohh! Ooh! Oh, my gosh. You scared me.
That spider's not real. -Yeah, obviously.
It has a hat on. -Becky, go put
your cookies away. -Oh, well, I guess
you know what it looks like when I get scared. One time
when I got really scared, I just ripped my shirt open and did tons of
tiny, little bounces in a row. So I hope no one
really scares me. -Boo! -Aah! [ Screaming ] [ Glass shatters ] Aah! -Shana, you make
any party hardier. Hey, look! Circus peanuts!
Everybody loves these. You want one? -Are they real peanuts?
-No. Why, are you allergic? -No, I just have a hard time
digesting them. One time I ate
a bunch of peanuts, and I had a pain
near my belly button. So the doctor told me
he needed a stool sample, and I had to poop
in the tiniest, cutest little white cup. And then the doctor and I
looked at it, and there were peanuts
everywhere. Whole peanuts,
regular-size peanuts, totally undigested peanuts. Fully-formed peanuts. They were so normal I could have
eaten them again. I'm not going to tell you
if I did or not. Let's just say
the doctor threw up. -Shana, you are so refreshing. You have the innocence
of a child and the body of a prostitute
who never had kids. -Oh, I forgot. I brought another costume
I wanted to show you guys. -Yeah, I think
we might head out. -Oh, no.
It's just a sheet ghost with two eyes
and a little mouth cut-out. Took me three days. -Come on, guy. Sounds like
she worked hard on it. -Please, I really want
to haunt everybody's bodies. -Okay.
-If you really want to. -Okay. Am I all smoothed out? -Ooh, I'll do it. Here you go. Ooh! -Okay, here I go. [ Chuckles ] Boo! [ Chuckles ] Boo! [ Chuckles ] Ooh! -Ooh-wee, that ghost can wiggle. -She sure can. I just wish
I could see more jiggle. So hot! -Yeah, I think something bad
is going to happen. -Oh. Uh-oh, I think this ghost has the tiniest, smallest
bit of -- amount of cute gas. [ Farting ] [ Chuckles ] [ Farting continues ] Ooh. Ooh. [ Chuckles ] Excuse me. -I'm out!
-Me too. -I live here, and I'm leaving.
Thanks a lot, Becky. -Hey! -Shana, you are intriguing. Is there room under
that sheet for me? -[ Chuckles ] What's wrong, Mr. Tergins? Why are your eyes crossing? Are you crying? [ Body thuds ] -Oh, well, guess Mr. Tergins
got tired. Okay, guess it's time to go. [ Clattering ] What was that? Oh, look! Oh! A little peanut
just fell out of my skirt. Oh, Shana. -Well, it's almost Halloween
in new York, which means millions of tourists
will be heading here to what fun the Big Apple
has to offer. Here with some tips
on what they should check out is our city correspondent,
Stefon. [ Cheers and applause ] -Stefon! Whoo! [ Audience cheering ] Hi.
-Hi. -I'm Stefon.
-Yeah, I know who you are. -Okay, Stefon, Halloween --
always a big deal in New York. So, why don't you tell us about
some of the best spots for people to check out?
-Yes. If you need to get
a spot checked out, I know just the place for you. New York's hottest club is
[deep voice] Jelly Bones! [ Normal voice ] Located on
the Lower Upper Side, this random home invasion
is the creation of legally-drunk
clothing designer Nick Nolte and Gabana. As you walk in, you'll be handed
a glass of champagne, or is it piss? [ Laughter ] Needless to say,
this place has everything -- Slurpees, mush-mouths,
litterbugs. And don't worry about security, because it's guarded by
an army of hobo-cops. -Hobo-cops? -Homeless robocops.
-Okay, yeah. Look, Stefon, that sounds like
kind of a heavy-duty scene. I was, you know, just looking
for something more traditional, you know, uh... You know what? Maybe this would
help keep it on track. Why don't you walk us through
what you will do on Halloween? -What I do on Halloween? Um, starting when? -Let's say 7:00 at night. -7:00 p.m. Okay. So, I wake up. I go home. I take a shower. ♪ Ya-da-di-da-da-do-do-do ♪ Now, my dog, Bark Ruffalo,
probably hasn't eaten yet, so I need to feed him. -Yeah, but where will you go
when you go out? -Oh, right. I'll tell you where. New York's
hottest Halloween party is... [ Hisses ] [ Hisses ] Located in an abandoned white
fish factory in Little Israel, this -- this place is going to have
everything -- ghost, ghouls, goblins, my son. And on the dance floor,
you'll find both guys from Wham! wearing a two-man horse costume. Spoil alert --
they're both in the back. Plus, there's a --
there's a special guest. Have you heard of Blacula
the Black Dracula? -Yes. -Well, they have
a Jewish Dracula. -Oh, what's his name? -Sidney Applebaum.
-Okay. [ Laughter,
cheers and applause ] Sidney Applebaum? "Jewish. Jewish Dracula. Sidney Applebaum." -Okay. Wait, wait. For a healthy snack,
hit the bar and have some Fraisins,
raisins that look like Frasier. Or -- Or try your luck
with the human piñata. -And what is the human piñata? -It's that thing of when
a Mexican midget eats a lot of candy and then he dances
until he throws up. -You know, Stefon, I think "midget" is actually
an outdated term. -Sorry, not midget. "Fun size." -Stefon, I was looking
for something more wholesome for Halloween, you know, a haunted house or
a place to hear ghost stories. -Oh, I know a story
with a ghost in it. -Is it
a Halloween-related story? -Yes.
-Okay. -Can I have the lights down,
please? Ooh! A long, long,
long, long time ago, like, say, six minutes ago, there was once an old house. And in that house there lived
an old gay man that people called Slimer. -Why do they call him Slimer? -Well, if you recall in the film
"Ghostbusters," Slimer was able to hold,
shall we say, multiple hot dogs in his mouth
at one time. -Oh, I understand, and stop.
I understand, and stop. -If you understood,
you wouldn't want it to stop. -I do understand,
and I do want it to stop. I do understand,
and I do want it to stop. -Sorry.
-I understand. You don't know. -It's great. No,
I fully understand. -Now, I know that you have
tried your best, Stefon, and I just want to thank you for
sharing those Halloween tips. -Wait, don't you want to
hang out on Halloween? -You know what? I do.
I'll pick you up at 7:00.
Where do you live? -You know the Radio Shack
at 23rd and 7th? -Yes.
I live in a garbage can. Stefon, everybody. -Welcome to 100 Floors
of Frights. Enter at your own risk. -[ Groans ] Do things jump out
at you on this ride? -Yeah, babe, it's the scariest
ride at Fright Night. -Good evening. I'm your
hell-evator operator, Mark. Now, please hold on, as this
ride goes bump in the night. -Ohh! Don't make fun of me
if I scream, okay? -It's 100 floors of frights,
babe. I'll probably be screaming, too. -And now hold on for dear death. Bwahahaha! [ Elevator bell dings ] -Winifred Rogers got cold feet and hung herself in
the honeymoon suite! -Oh!
-Oh, my gosh. -You totally jumped.
-[ Chuckling ] So did you! -Floor 20, home of our
five-scar restaurant. -Today's special --
your head! Ohhhhhhhh! -That was my head! Is that why they take your
picture when you enter the park? -I'm not telling. 49th floor.
-Oh, no. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. -How's it hangin'? I'm David Pumpkins, and I'm
gonna scare the hell out of you! [ Dance music plays ] [ Crack! ] [ Crack! ] [ Crack! ] [ Music ends ] Any questions? -Scared speechless? -Oh, no, no, I'm just trying
to wrap my head around... David Pumpkins? I mean, are we supposed to know
who that is? -Yeah, it was just a guy
in a pumpkin suit with two B-boy skeletons. I don't get how that's scary. -Well, you don't get frights.
You feel them. 26th floor! [ Elevator bell dings ] -Can I sleep in your bed
tonight?! [ Screams ] Yeah, see, I get
why she's here. -Yeah, yeah, creepy girl
from "The Ring." But -- But David Pumpkins? I mean, is he from something? -Yeah, like, is he from
a local commercial or... Well, the scariest thing
to the mind is the unknown. [ Elevator bell dings ] -I'm David Pumpkins! -I know, but, like,
who are you? -I'm David Pumpkins, man! -Okay, yeah, yeah,
and David Pumpkins is...? -His own thang! -And the skeletons are...? -Both: Part of it! -Why are you a part
of this ride? -To do this! [ Dance music plays ] [ Crack! ] [ Crack! ] [ Crack! ] [ Baby coos ] -What's my name? -Both: David S. Pumpkins! -Any questions? -Yes! Several! I mean, what -- he has
a middle initial now? I am so in the weeds
with David Pumpkins! -Babe, don't let David Pumpkins
ruin your night, please. -David S. Pumpkins.
-Right. -Floor 99! [ Elevator bell dings ] -Arrggghh! I'm crazy! For David Pumpkins! [ Dance music plays ] [ Crack! ] [ Crack! ] [ Music fades ] -How much David Pumpkins
is in this? -Um...73 out of 100 floors. -Why did you go all-in
on David Pumpkins? -Hey, look!
It's 100 floors of frights. They're not all
gonna be winners. [ Elevator bell dings ] Floor 100! -Okay, so now it's
just the skeletons? Great.
-Ready or not... -Here we dance! [ Dance music plays ] -[ Moans ] -Ay, Papi! -Both: Happy Halloween! -Any questions? [ Both scream ] [ Dance music plays ]
