Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome back to 60 seconds! This time! We're gonna win! I know what I need to do! Ok. So I actually have not been using my scouting time properly. I need to, one: scout the area. There's the radio, right there. tha- Oh, this is perfect, this is exactly what I need, right off the bat! Because I need, I'm salivating at the thought of the success that I'm about to have! Get it! I know, I know, I know. That, that, that and no room for that. Shit! Get this, just get it! Just go, go go! Okay, so what I've been doing wrong is I've been getting too much of the stuff that I don't need- This is a different distribution than I had before. Why is this over here? Why is this over here? I don't know why any of this is in the place that it is! This doesn't make any goddamn sense- But it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. Okay. Get it, get it, get it, get it. Gotta get my family members eventually, but I need to get the soup first Okay, so the main problem that I've been having is that I've been getting the wrong things right off the bat! Nabadibadibadiba [Markiplier talks alien] Okay, gotta get the rest of my family, gotta get this can of soup Gotta get that gas mask ahh I don't need the gas mask because I don't need to send anyone out before it's time to go out But I'm gonna get it anyway WHERES MY WIFE?? Ohh god Where's my wife? Where's my wife? Where's my wife? Where's my goddamn wiiIIFE? Come over here wife! WIFE Get that Get that Get it Get- no ROOM?? What the frick AAAHH [panics] TITTIES [panics] AHHH [squeals] IN! IN! IN! IN! IN! Okay, so, that could have gone infinitely better. That was not good at ALL! We didn't do ANYTHING that we needed to do! But we started off with the right things. We may be low on food, but with the Boy Scout Manual- -I've been told this- You can survive Five Five days in between food And it looks like we actually had more food down here than we needed before I didn't get the map. It's one of the things I desperately needed was the map And we found a can of soup down here And also we found nothing else. So. So every five days Every FIVE days We can feed and water our people Because now that we have the Boy Scout Manual, That leaves us some more leeway for what we need to do AND we have the deck of cards which means that we have something to keep us occupied Okay. Everyone's fine Everyone's gonna be fine We need to- We DON'T need an expedition Oh What's that trickling sound? And why is the wall so wet? Are we about to get flooded? We don't have life preservers Save the supplies - yup Save the radio! Gotta get the radio This is already off to a bad start I can tell that things are just about going to be bad for ME IN THIS ENVIRONMENT! Either this is going to be the worlds shortest game that was ever played or this is- [laughing] Oh man. Okay! Everyones still alive. Good. Every five days It's every five days Got it Okay so every five days everybody gets one of everything That's gonna make our rations last a LONG time This is insane! We keep finding spiders everywhere They're in our soup. They're in our water. We swear some of them keep coming back and they are bigger every time we see them it can't go on like this it's time to wage war on the spiders This better not loose me the Boy Scout Manual Because if it does I'm going to send EVERY ONE of my family members INTO the radioactive waste, AND HAVE THEM DIE FROM DEATH POISONING It better have turned out good for me ok Good book is a solution to any problem to any encounter got to battle on with plus one soup can everything works out for the best If there is anyone out there that can rescue us It's the government Since the government worked out so well for us last time I say this family is on their own and if you don't listen to me then you're probably very sane 'Cause I'm crazy! LISTEN TO ME I'm the dad here I think Anyway Hearing strange noises lately Is that coming from outside or is that something in the shelter with us? Could it be? We found nothing. We feel like we're going crazy We should probably get busy with
something to keep us occupied. I WOULD have cards but I'm playing on the game mode that causes problems if one of us breaks our radio in our bor- Oh God everyone has gone insane [at his very moment markiplier knew he fucked up] Wow. That was fast Holy shit. I didn't know that was possible I'm se- [coughing] Ha ha. We could live with them noises, right? We can even be friends. Ha ha. So it's not weird that Timmy is now wearing a soup can on his head and pretends its a helmet? This is just innocent child's play. Or is it? Mary Jane started acting even more crazy than she usually does And she seems to be making a nest Was it the soup? Boredom can really get to you in the shelter It can lead you into dark places. Trust us. Ohh man EVERYONE has gone CRAZY Ohh God Dolores - leave this hellish hole! Dolores go! Ohh my god everyone's gone NUTS Ohhh everyone's gonna wander into the Wasteland! This is going to be the shortest game I've ever played in this. Dolores: You get out there You be good And you bring back something or else we are all dead And that is guaranteed Go Dolores! Leave your insane family alone in this hellhole! So Dolores is out and while Dolores is out Everythings gonna be- Everything's gonna be FINE Everything'sth gonna be fine in the hellhole of insthanithy! The bunker of noisesth in our headsth! When we opened the bunker door this morning to let in some fresh radioactive air We discovered a small suitcase on our doorstep There was no note on it and the neighborhood seemed empty. Should we take a look inside? Of course! Why WOULDN'T we trust that? We'd be crazy not to [maniacal laughter] Ohh Okay Timmy doesn't look so good Inside the suitcase we found some soup but yuck! It expired a long time ago We're not feeling very well, some of us spent the whole morning using the bucket in the corner. We're not accepting anonymous gifts ever again Well. Tits. This is going BAD This is going about the worst I've ever done something. We were suspicious and cautious but after a few minutes of talking it turned out it was just a group of old ladies Oh yeah! These are the old ladies that are very bad. And that wanted to rob us BUT I STRIKE FIRST I PROTECT MY OWN YOU STOP TRYIN TO BEAT DOWN MEE Ohh my gun exploded What happens if the rifle malfunctions or we use all our ammo? Huh? What did the- Why'd the gun- Why'd the gun break?? Oh god This is going badly. I'm just gonna rush to the end of this one because we're not gonna suvive here. This is obviously not gonna go well. OH DOLORES you're back! You don't look so good You found very little. In fact you only found water. Okay whatever we're dead here. Just dead. [laughing] Timmy really outdid himself today In a frenzy he tore out all the
pages from his beloved Scout Handbook and just transformed them into dozens of paper planes. They were flying all over the place And although we tried to catch as many as we could, that really wasn't many, most of them landed in soups stains and in the bucket Unfortunately the pages we managed to rescue aren't of much use to us: The table consisting of contents and the chapter listing a hundred ways to properly take care of a Scout uniform greeaat Everyone's dead Everyones going to die this very night Radio of ours is silent. We need news Meddle with it. YEAH break the radio. Good idea. Leave it to CRAZY TED to break the- Yep. Okay. Welp they're dead! And Dolores is just left there with her friggin skeleton That is great Everyone's dead. Everyone's dead Everyone's dead. Everyone's dead. Everyone's dead. Everyone's dead. Everyone's gonna die die die die DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE The eeend!! We all st- Oh my god Dolores okay Obviously That is not the end of this episode I thought it was going to go better than this But that's not the way that we're going to have it We're gonna start a new game This is a recipe in failure That was the example of how NOT to succeed in the game And this next one is going to be much better It's gonna be good because I'm going to find everything that I need right off the bat [singing] This time we're going to win GOOD!! Like we should've in the first place yeah! Let's survive the apocalypse NOW It's not quite like Fallout the game! But when we have our family DOWN We're gonna love each other forever Not go insane again yeah! Let's! [normal] Start the goddamn thing Ready freddy ready freddy reADY FREDDY GET YOU! Myswell! You're big! Okay Here we go. Here we go. Okay Got that Oh, Timmy, what a perfect place for you to be! I'm just gonna dump you right in! Okay that looks like the boyscout handbook! I don't know where the map is!!! I don't know where that is!!!! Ohh god oh god oh god. That Nice cards need that Euhhhhdededuhdeduhduhdeduhduhdeuduhduhduh Where's the fricken- THERE'S THE MAP IT'S ON THE WALL nyuUERRderr. herner hurdeh okay ohh man ohh man oh man oh man There's a lot of soup in one spot here hurep hurep hurep Any of these? Okay no room? That's fine that's fine that's fine Dump those in there Okay get the... fireaxe Thaat To the shelter We can get one more one more one more One more Get that BRIEFCASE BRIEFCASE BRIEFCASE GET THAT GET THAT GET THAT GETTIT AHHH GEDDIT GEDDIT GEDDIT EUURRRRRRRRNNNN YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES I hope I didn't forget anyone Did I forget any of my important important family members? Noo?? Good. Okay we got a lot of material in this one We got a LOT of material Everything was laid out pretty much perfectly for us to get exactly what we need because we have the map, radio, flashlight, handbook! We have the axe. We have a suitcase! We have a gun, ammo, soup! We do NOT have a lot of water... But we have both the cards, checkerboard AND medkit AND lock and key This is about the best we could possibly get We never thought we'd live to see a dancing cockroach We still haven't but we saw one that was nearly as big as a cat The good news is that they probably scared off any rats in the area The bad news is they're huge and they'll probably attack us when they get the chance Okay Do not ruin the boy scout handbook! PLEASE Okay good it's still there Good good good good good good GOOD We dodged a bullet this time That is, if a bullet was huge, hairy, had eight legs and a glowing head. Hopefully we won't have to deal with them again Ok. Good good good good good good good Okay: day five, it's feeding time, family! We only got enough water for another one of these We gotta find more water somehow or we're going to be TOAST I mean soup has some water in it! Kinda...? We heard somthing about supply drops on the radio This might be just what we need to survive and it's supposed to happen right near our house GOD damn it It's the only thing I don't have The ONLY thing I do not have is a goddamn gas mask Fricken Sack of shit! It-It planned that!!! It planned that! The commies planned that when they BOMBED us They KNEW I wouldn't have that! Nyer! It's been awhile since we showered The smell in this tiny shelter is - oh! This is where I shower with bullets for some reason Don't know how Don't know how that works But I'm gonna rub gunpowder on me and we're gonna smell real good Maybe... Dirty or not, it's the smell that's the biggest issue here How do we deal with that? Mm-yeah. Alright. Okay. Y'know what? Okay It's okay It's okay Alright Our patience is wearing thin We thought it would be a good idea to take a quick look outside To see if there was any trouble in the area As we're about to sp-a pair of animal eyes! And their owner started growling And this is where the flashlight comes in Because it's a puppy! It's a little puppy pooper He's a pupper schnupper It is a pupper schnupper Listen to the little puppy schnuppy Okay Decided to check what's coming for us with our flashlight And it's a poor puppy Okay So this is where everyone gets a drink This is the last one we got, so we gotta start preparing for an expedition Oh! We didn't expect to get a phone call so soon after the atomic bomb drop, Heard the phone ringing outside. Someone should go answer it. TED! You're up, buddy Get out there teddyboy! You gotta show this family who's the head of the family And you better not be sick- Good. No need for none of that But we still got no water When we answered the call we could clearly hear a gasp ...Town of Hill Valley. Okay, I think that's the twins? So them calling us is a good thing because I think there's probably an ending where we can do that Favorite radio station stopped broadcasting. We tried other frequencies, Maybe we should tinker with the radio to increase its range? NO! I'm not gonna tinker with the goddamn radio! Frick that! Uugh, that's my radio! I'm not going to do anything about that! We need that radio! I forgot that with the briefcase You can take a whole bunch of supplies to meet... Pretty much any scenario. So he's gonna take... ...How long will he be gone? It's a bit of a risk I mean I don't even know if it's a good idea to do this But I have a funny feeling That he's gonna be more successful in bringing things back... If he has these materials So I'm gonna take a risk! And we're gonna give them to him He's probably going to lose one of them And it better not be the map He can loose everything else Not the map Don't lose the map Oh crap we're gonna die... We don't have any water Shit shit shit shit shit. Shit shit shit, shit. Hey! Because the flashlights went out I would've lost them anyway So at least I grabbed what I needed to grab Shit. ...We're going to die. We don't have any water Shit! There's no water here We're dead. Oh. God It's bad. We don't have any water. How did this happen? We're going to die real dead. It's real bad Aw shit We had such a good start We are going to die! Ooh no. Guuuh. How did Ted die...? Okay you know what? I'm not sending Ted out anymore And NOO! This episode is NOT over In fact... Uh... MEN IN BLACK FLASH! [Ingame: Robotic Noise] Hello everybody! Welcome back to... Uh 60 seconds! This is the beginning of the episode! And we're going to do good this time. I hope we're going to survive real good! So here's the rub: I... Want to beat this game. But I'm a little baby I'm a little baby who's new to the world And I need to progress And I'm going to progress Because I am going t- Why is everything falling over already? That's a little bit disconcerting for the state of everything that we're going for here But anyway, okay So i lowered the difficulty because- What is- Why is the radio screaming at me to get a medkit? Is that- Is that a hint for what we need? Probably Here we go Wh-G-What? That wasn't the radio? What the hell??? What the hell why was that not- not the radio? Why was that not the radio? It was quite obviously the radio What the hell It's a bunch of bullshit, that's what this is. Okay, got those. Take that off the wall, might as well. Lovely wife of mine For some reason I can't grab the radio Oops. Uh oh, oh god! ohh god [Laughter] ohh noo!! OH NOO! Oh god! [Laughter] Oh noooo! It threw 'em down there [Laughing] They're still alive down there I threw my whole family down the hole! Ohhh man they're alive! Wow. I didn't- heh... Wh- Oh... And they're dead. Okay! Nevermind. Without Ted they couldn't survive. Because how could they, without their beloved father leading them to victory They couldn't win Oh man. I set the difficulty lower and I still failed. I'm gonna do this I may be doing it on easy But I'm gonna do this We're going to win and I'm going to survive And this is where it all comes down: To a father, understanding the limitations of what he can do And doing what is necessary to keep his family alive Map. Handbook. Got it Flashlight. Tuba [Sped Up Music] Ok ok ok ok ok! I think we got enough! I think we got enough. I think we got a lot of materials! I think we got a lot of materials We did good! We're okay. Let's see what we got I think we got everything we needed! ohoho huhhuhhuhhuh That's a lot of stuff! That's a lot of stuff! I like a lot of stuff! All of us made it into the shelter just seconds before the blast. That was a close one! As long as we're all together we can make it work down here We got a gun, bullets AND extra water We got a gun, bullets and extra water! Yes! AND cards, medkit in the suitcase! THANK YOU EASY MODE [forced laughter] Okay So We're low on food but we got enough food to survive five days Fifteen- Fifteen days! Which means that we can send people out with reckless abandon. We just got more food from the lovely people banging coconuts outside! YES! Wait- We have three... Wait what happened to our food, we had more food than that! Wait- What happened to our food? We had more food than that! What happened?! We were discussing plans for our first meal that didn't feature tomato soup when we heard a yell outside We discovered it came from a small group of ragged survivors They were a sorry sight, And we weren't surprised when they requested aid. We have plenty of water! We can spare water We can spare you water! But nothing else... Don't even try to steal anything from us. Ok- Our visitors had problems finding enough words to express their gratitude. Many tears were shed - Aww. How heartwarming WE NEED TO SURVIVE Alright... So we're going to send... Dolores outside... With the... Suitcase. I really... really don't know if the suitcase has any use. Shit, she needed the gas mask GOD DAMMIT I- .. AUGHHHHHHH We're not alone there's a huge hairy bunny beast that seems to be hiding in one of the pipes. It's been poking it's head out eyeing our measly food stash. We can't let it get out WE CAN'T LET IT BE IN HERE WHEN WE SLEEP Ahh.... Chop its head off? Gun it down I... I'm gonna prefer to gun it Shooting a gun in a confined space is always a good idea Especially a random bun- yep The gun blew up. The cans were saved! Too bad for the hairy mutant. Guess we're still at the top of the food chain. Good for us. Damn, our gun blew up when we tried to shoot the thing Of course it did! And I bet the axe would've blown into pieces! It would've caught on fire sporastically Just magically would've blown to pieces and Dolores better come back alive or else I'm going to be very upset. Hey! Oh-op. Dol-Dolores! Ohhh, you look good. hahahahahaha You brought two food back! Which is exactly what we needed Good good good good good And we got a med-kit for you so you're gonna be a-okay No worries about a goddamn thing [forced laughter] And just to keep everything... in sync We thought that phone calls- OH TIMMY! RUN! RUN TIMMY RUN! Run Timmy! Get it Timmy? Okay. Dolores is looking better, she's just looking a little bit tired. All that radiation just melted away Just to keep everything in sync I'm gonna feed everyone On the fifteenth, tomorrow So everyone is gonna get fed tomorrow Just so things can stay in sync 'cause I don't wanna worry about other people being fed- at one point and then other people not- I'm just gonna get everyone fed, tomorrow doink doink doink doink ding! Okay, who's gonna go outside? Ehhhr, yeah okay. You're gonna get the suitcase 'cause I don't trust you with anything else Oh shit Sleeping problems, we used up our med-kit- goddamn it. Oh no, someone's gonna go CRAZY No? Okay! No one's crazy Just everyone's gonna be tired Okay Time for eating! I don't know where Mary Jane is she's been out a while... Oh! Mary Jane is back and Mary Jane looks in terrible shape but she found a lot of food! And that is what I like- FOUR cans of food! Might as well pack for another expedition Timmy got back to the shelter from his expedtion and looked fine but it turned out he had hurt his hand on a piece of rusty metal and the wound was INFECTED doesn't look like it's healing up- we have to PATCH IT? WITH AN AXE!? I HAVE TO CUT HIS HAND OFF!? NO TIMMY! NOOO! Oh. Oh, I guess it's fine. He looks.. okay. Timmy was very brave about the idea of cleaning up his wound with a heated axe blade It was a bit painful, but it was soon over The axe is in no shape to be used again, but Timmy seems much better! Oh! I thought we were gonna cut something OFF We should go outside, how about little Tim-Tim? He did okay last time, why not this time? What could he bring? [weird accent] Could he bring ze flashlighte? Maybe nozing would be good for him, I cannot really risk anyzing. Yeah, I'm gonna give him nothing 'cause I don't want him to loose nothing. Actually, maybe we shouldn't send anyone out on an expedition, we don't exactly really NEED anything at the moment? And I want to make sure they get food before they go out Because that might affect their survival chances. I dont know? Ughh, Dolor-Ughh, Mary Jane, come on! Mary Jane is starving... caught something nasty... Goddammit, Mary Jane, why do you do that to yourself? Oh shit, everyone looks bad. I-I guess Mary Jane... did miss out... But I'm just going to feed everyone today And then cycle back on the 29th "A young woman dressed in whit knocked on our door today, telling us a story of her missing twin brother, - who is most likely held captive." She knows that we're good and trustworthy people and believes we can rescue her sibling, it might be the beginning of a solid friendship. Okay! Timmy, we're gonna trust you with this one. Gooou Oh, you're back. You're still alive. Good. Let's see. The woman quickly called a group of friends and we set out for what turned out to be a successful mission. Finding the lost twin brother wasn't a problem, he was hanging on top of some antenna trying to escape In the duel with the Bandit leader he lost a hand, but the group quickly tended to his injuries... thanked us a hundred times... Okay thats good Timmy's going outsiiiiide Timmy's taking nothing 'cause I don't trust Timmmyyyy! Group of doctors knocked on our door today requesting some supplies that would be helpful.... We do have extra water They offer a medkit which would be UNBELIEVABLY helpful if they did that! Please No? They didn't give us anything in return. Wonderful. Great. Glad about that that is cool. Every new smell attacks our noses, there isn't much else we can miss. So when a single block fell from the wall it revealed a tight opening our senses were immediately invaded by.... We should probably check that hole out and see what the smell is Yeah! Best not to ignore weird smells in the walls! And it was soup that I could spare not water We're fuuuuudged We approached the hole cautiously 'n what happened next gave us a heart attack some crazed rodent... pushed our radio... I'M ON EASY I'M PLAYING ON EASY I'M PLAYING ON FRIGGIN EASY WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME Ohh there's timmy [deep sigh] Mary Jane loves cards...back from the wasteland.. Got three bottles of water! Good! We brought some strange looking people back to our doorstep. They claimed to be wizards and were willing to trade useful supplies for a few... weird trinkets. After hearing them out, we decided to look around our shelter for the items they wanted They were really ecstatic about purchasing an old pair of socks, which had been lying in the corner for some time, livin' their own life The wizards got them in exchange for a few bottles of water, one of them placed the socks on her ears, and started to dance They really wanted to SELL US A RADIO!!!!!!! YEAAAHHH I LIKE THIS! THIS IS COOL! ALRIGHT This is good This is good. This is good. This Is Good. This is good. This is GOOOD This is good So I fed them on the 33rd so that means the 38th is the next time we send some people out Dolores you're going out with nothing again because I don't trust The Army broadcast interrupted with our breakfast Geographical coordinates... sign we're still alive - okay! This is good! We got coordinates 'cause we got a map! We got it! Wa-wa-wkawoijasdj Wegotit okay A quick glance at the map gave us all the information we needed We also managed to send a message in a bottle. This is good, this is good. Why is Timmy sick? God dammit, why does everyone get sick? How do they expect us to be able to keep people alive?? "The wasteland is full of surprises, like this man on the other side of our door, knocking and claiming that he is willing to offer a lot for decent ammunition. Shall we trade?" Sure! Why not? What else do we have to lose? If he didn't give us a medkit, I will.. do things I never thought I do.. OOOOOOKKKKKAAAAAAAAAY. WELL. That is not as good as I hoped it would be. And apparently Mary Jane is gone. What happened to Mary Jane? Did she run away? "Mary Jane's sickness got worse, and when we weren't able to provide her with medicine, she decided it's time to cure whatever she had on her own..." Okay! That's another mouth that we don't have to feed! So long as I make it out alive because the armory is right around the corner.. "Friendly soul on the radio was talking about a supply pack she's lost.." We get 2 water, 1 soup, and 1 amro. Yay. That is good. Boy scout handbook. Yeaaaahh. Wait, we can try fixing the gun? YAY! [gasp] Did we fit the-- OOOOHHHHHH WE DID! TIMMY WE DID IT! YOU MIGHT BE GOING OUT OF YOUR GODDAMN MIND BUT WE DID IT! YEAAAAAHHHHH Okay. And then the 43rd is when we get to eat and drink. Yeah! Hopelly Deloreth cometh back. My wife, I think Iove her thtill? Not sure at this point. We're a month in a hole. That'll do something to ya. Oh no! "We don't think Dolores is coming back from the surface, it's been too long." Shit! Well. That's not good. "We almost forgot about this one time we shared some water with a group of people dressed in lab coats. Out of the blue, they came back today and administered us some very healthy looking shots! So they WERE real doctors after all..we think? OH! They gave us shots! Did it cure timmy?! Yeah! Timmy's just crazy now! He's not.. He's not..he's not sick! Uh, let's just have some celebratory food! I mean, it's just you and me, tim-tim, for the rest of life! Forever. This better pay out, because god dammit, I haven't come this far to die! I came this far to survive! Oh boy! "Lady luck smiled on us!We won a vicious game of war. The man wasn't too happy about it, but he delivered on his promise." Okay! "Before the world turned into an unforgiving, dead wasteland, we were friends with almost everybody in our town. Including, the old man Jim, who would shamble through our street often and always said hello. We wanted to visit him once, he gave us an address that took us...Old man Jim is such a joker! It appears that he survived the blast, since he's at our door right now, asking if we want to buy a rock. Sure! I'll buy a rock! Hopefully this doesn't cost me the life of my only son! [laughs] Wouldn't that be something. "We opened the door and greeted the old man with a smile. He was eager to show us his bag filled with a rich choice of rocks and convinced us to take one for free 'for old times' sake.' We agreed...can't complain, it's a good rock... claimed it brings us luck, we'll see about that." Okay. Alright Timmy, you go out. You may be crazy, but I'm not sending myself. If anyone's gonna die, it's gonna be you and not me. Oh Timmy, you're back. You look slightly tired, but..at least you're still as crazy. "Our supplies are scarce and our morale is low. You can almost smell the desperation in the shelter. We're pretty sure there's a small group of survivors nearby, mostly old folks from the retirement home. It shouldn't be hard to borrow some of their supplies. They're old and.." No, I'm not gonna steal! We got enough supplies, we're fiiine. We don't need to STEAL. Oh Timmy, he was always a wild one. A shelter is not the best environment for a boy who's hell bent on running around until he can barely breathe. He really misses that. He asked if he can go out to the surface, even for a short while. This sounds highly dangerous and irresponsible. Should we agree? Yeah! Get out, Timmy! GET OUT! You freaking terror! Stay out! "Timmy can sneak like a secret-agent man, but that might not be enough to avoid the band of Raiders camped near our shelter. We can probably assume he isn't coming back. When we consented, Timmy almost hit his head on the ceiling." Probably cause he's crazy. "We figured that if he doesn't encounter any savages, mutated beasts or killer mimes, he should be fine and back enough soon." Yeah! He's got the survival instincts of a crazy person! "..heard a knock on the door this morning, we held our breath in fear, but we soon heard children's voices coming from outside. turned out the voices belonged to a pair of girls scouts." They offer a boy scout for a map. I've used the map! I've used the map. I've used the map in both contexts that I needed the map. Which was for the radio of the government, and for the twins. I need that book. I need that book. And Ted is a-okay. To stay in here for as long as he needs to! He's got no family left, but he was never a family man.. oh, he's gone crazy. "The other day we heard a quiet knock on our door, but when we opened it, it was only a suitcase and no one around, signaled look...[mumbles]" Okay, sure. It could kill us, but whatever. I--I'ma trusting kinda guy. Yup, it was sick. Yup, bad soup. Good good good great great great. Bad soup. Uuuhh.. "We're about to sleep when we heard scratching from the door. At first, it sounded like an angry rat..much worse.. something is on the other side, we need to act!" Lock the damn door! At least the lock is gonna be useful. Gosh. "We didn't think a small padlock would be enough to stop them, but it turned out to be enough to discourage the unknown attackers. It seems that they gave this whole break-in a fair shot, but ultimately gave up and left. Too bad that padlock is in no shape." GREEEEEAAAAAAAT. TIME TO EAT, CRAZY SICK PERSON, YOU. "afraid the army wouldn't get back to us, but they eventually did. The next transmission was full of evacuation promises, but it ended as a big 'if'. The speaker requested that any survivor groups armed with firearms should dispose of them before they get rescued. We don't know what this is about, but it sounds like violating our rights. On the other hand, are there any laws left.." No! I'm not giving up my gun! You, screw you! That didn't go out well for me last time! Eat a dick, gov'ment! "We decided to ignore these stupid orders. Who are they to tell us what to do? The US government? Well, they probably are, but that doesn't mean they can take our gun. Over our dead bodies! Welp. Ted's goin' down. Ted ain't doin good. "bandit camp nearby..not only are they armed, dangerous, cruel and bloodthirsty.." Fine! Go get 'em! Teddy boy! Bang! Boom bang! Bang! Boom bang bang! "tried out best, but they had numbers. We didn't even manage to reach the supplies, the camp was too well-guarded. The.." [sigh] Yeah, go get 'em. Go get 'em, teddy boy. Go get 'em. You da man! You the man, ted man! She's still alive, I guess. Oh, "We bravely stormed in, but no one was there. We took a soup can." Uh-oh, we lost a soup can. "Ted has always had a heart of gold. That's why we weren't really shocked to find him feeding OUR supplies to some disgusting, fat cockroach. Both Ted and the bug seemed really happy, so we didn't manage to stay mad for long. Although when Ted started sharing jokes and life stories with the cockroach, we became a bit suspicious. Oh dead corpse of Delores! I think your husband is cheating on you with a cockroach! [laughs] "Another radio broadcast from the military was a huge shock for us. Not only did they postpone our rescue, they also ordered all survivors to get rid of their firearms. Are they nuts?! How are we supposed to defend ourselves?! It'd better be worth it." No! I'm not giving up my damn gun! It didn't work for me last time, you're not gonna make me do it now! So screw you, and your frickin' face! Nup, there we go. I guess we died from sickness, finally! God dammit! We survived for 68 days.. How we were supposed to survive any longer?! I tried. I really tried. I need to look up guides on this, because I am trying my frickin' best... Was I supposed to give up my gun? I don't know, it didn't work out last time! It said that the government quarantined us! What a load of ass. So this is the end of 60 seconds for now, I'll do another episode where I'm gonna BEAT it, ON NORMAL, cause I'm gonna..I'm good. I'm good at this. I'ma show you guys who's good. (very softly) This guy! So thank you everybody so much for watching! And as always, I will see you.. in the next video! Buh-bye!
