Hello everybody, my name is Markiplier and welcome back to 60 Seconds If you're wondering why there's no music playing at all and a UFO just went by it's because I was sitting here on the main menu for too long and it accidentally went wrong for me but this time, I'm going to begin this adventure and I'm going to survive because I know what I need to get. I *have* to get the radio. I have to. That's literally the only equipment that I need and the radio is... [surprised] not in the living room oddly enough. So anyway, we're going to get this. Everybody ready? I don't know where the radio is, but I don't, I don't, frankly I don't care. We're just gonna get this. Get it, get it, get it get it get it get it getitgetitgetit Uh I don't- a lock, whatever, fine. Whatever whatever whatever whatever whatever just dump it in, dump it in, dump it in, we don't have time! Okay, get the soup. Get lil' Timmy here Okay, we're doing fine, we're doing fine. Suitcase- nooooo room, okay. More soup, more soup, more soup, more soup, more soup, MORE SOUP, MORE SOUP, MORE SOUP! Okay, get that, okay, keep going Alright, in the kitchen where we got plenty of bottles of water Actually, this is the bathroom but that's- There's the radio! Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes Okay, so the radio does move and I'm not just a stoop... I mean, I'm pretty stupid but it's okay. Alright, I need the rest of my family I guess They're pretty important...probably. Can of soup, can of soup, to the shelter, to the shelter! C'mon, c'mon! Okay, get the wife, okay, get the wife, the wife This flashlight is fine We got the radio, we got that, we're gonna get this can of soup Okay, go go go go go go go Okay, to the shelter, to the shelter Grab this Grab this, grab that Let's go, let's go, let's go Oh God, yes! We made it, yes! Oh, that was right down to the wire guys, we got a lot of good stuff there so there's a good start to us I don't know what was in that suitcase but it was what I grabbed just because I grabbed it I didn't have any other time to grab anything else so you can't really criticize me for what I've done [shout] Woah, I got a lot of achievements for that one [loud exhale] Looks like we got four cans of soup... Five bottles of water, medkit, radio, flashlight, suitcase What else did we get...? Alright, all of us *gasp* and there was a medkit in the suitcase, nice "We can't remember bringing these supplies" oh, no, oh okay So that was actually just an extra that we had Let's see, and, oh! We got a gameboard! With probably not all the pieces in place because why would that happen? When we're rushing in an emergency and we only have sixty seconds before total nuclear annihilation We're not really gonna do much in the way of g- We have five and five? (1x) We have five and five?? We have five and five! Ooh, we have five and five, we got five soups and five waters. We're gonna do so good here because I'm gonna be the strictest Dad that ever was strict in the world! Dolores loves me no matter what! So I'm going to be- What was that? Was that a flashlight? I don't know, it's gotta be "Let's just leave all those questions be for now I wasn't asking any questions but if I'm already going crazy Day 2 into this trip it's not gonna go well for us okay, "Mary Jane's worried, Timmy might - he's doing fine" "Dolores is doing well" and "The morning has been calm enough for Ted" No one needs...anything. Okay, so we're good. "We felt like something was staring-" Oh no, not this again. No, my food! No, I should've grabbed the ax it was right there! oh no [sad Mark noises] The food! It takes a whole can? Ergh! We don't have anything! Oh no Oh no oh no ugh nugh Actually, I don't think I need to give it to him until the next day and that's when they really need it. ugh nugh ugh nugh ugh nugh oh no oh no Oh, Mary Jane, you're the champion. Go out there. Do good! Bring the suitcase, I guess, because maybe you could haul some stuff back in it I don't know. Oh no oh no Oh, the suitcase lets you bring more other equipment. Oh, I didn't know that, okay. Dammit, dammit dammit dammit "Mary Jane went outside" " - terrible shape" "We need to get water" Yeah, I know, we all need water We'll get water, water water water Oh man, it's very difficult to prepare for the unforeseen. Just like I didn't know that there would be a giant hungry rat, which is gonna turn into a giant hungry fluffy bunny down the road, and steal all of our food. Dammit [sigh] "Timmy is good" "Dolores is fine" "Ted's fine" [sigh] I'm so sad I'm so sad I'm so sad and mad and upset but we're gonna survive through this! Because I will not let this stop us! Sorry, I hit the microphone Doesn't matter, it's okay "Still better to be out here" Wait-how, what'd they say? Let's see, noo, everything's good everything's good, everyone's fine Okay, so get the radio going and everything will be okay. [heavy breathing] Why am I out of breath? I don't know mind you, I'm very into this at the moment a- "Ah! How fortunate we took the radio - we can probably listen to some music - they still play music?" I don't know, maybe? Okay Alright So everyone's still fine, you're not gonna get food yet! Oh, "The other day we heard a quiet knock on our door" "But when we opened it we only found a suitcase on the doorstep and - no one around" "It isn't signed but it sure looks like it was meant for us. Should we check what's inside?" Of course! Oh, what could be wrong in the suitcase? It's probably not gonna be bad. [vault door opening] Oh and Mary Jane is back and very sick. [gasp] Nice! "The sweet, sweet prospect of government aid!" "Hey, we're no commies, but centrally planned help" "during the apocalypse is something we're really looking forward too" "Our expedition exited the shelter right before the air drops started falling out of the sky" [laughter] "One of the food drops broke mid-air, and now it's raining-" Oh! Oh! Yes! We've got- "We forced one of the boxes open..." Oh man, that's so cool Oh, that's so cool Oh, that's so cool. Okay we got- [excited Mark noises] Oh my God! Perfect timing f- Oh, this is so great. Right before the airdrop. Oh, that's so nice. Okay, everyone gets everything! Everyone gets a share of everything! Because we're doing so wonderfully today. And even Mary Jane is going to be better. [excited Mark noises] Alright, who's gonna - alright "We didn't expect to get a phone call so soon after the atomic bomb drop, yet here we are, we -" "clearly hear a phone ringing outside. It must be [in] the public phone booth on the other side of the street." "Should someone answer it?" Yeah, Timmy, go out! C'mon, go Timmy, get the phone, Timmy! Timmy! C'mon, get the phone! [vault door opening] Timmy Timmy Timmy Timmy Okay, Timmy's back, and he's fine. Who was it...? "When we answered the phone, we could clearly hear..." Okay, it's a gasp of relief. Everyone's very happy about that. Unless someone's going to come over here and steal all from us. Okay, everyone is fine. We are doing SO good! We are doing SO wonderfully. Okay. Woo! This is good. Oh, this is good. Ohhh this is so good! Okay. [heavy breathing] Okay! [soft noises] What was that? Gentle snoring? Is that supposed to happen? I have no idea. Okay. "Played hide and seek. The longest round we were "able to play lasted for about 10 seconds and that was [laughing] "only because the lights went out for a moment" Okay. So Mary Jane is quite hungry, Timmy's hungry, Okay, so, Mary Jane and Timmy are very hungry, I'll just give them some soup since we have some to spare. And then Ted is going outside. He's going to take the suitcase again 'cuz for some reason that lets him take just a whole bunch of stuff. So we have a gas mask. He's going to take that. We're going to leave the gun in here Kind of important. I don't know why he would need to take a whole bunch of other stuff. Oh well. Whatever. We're going to do this. Ted! You're the man. I believe in you. You're the man with a plan. Go get 'em, big boy! Go get 'em, buddy! He's going to be fine. I trust him. I trust him 100%. He's cool. He's cool in my book. Okay... alright. "Everyone has to drink sometimes, including Mary Jane. "Is there any water left?" Okay. Mary needs water. Timmy's hungry. And Timmy needs water. I thought I already got them! Didn't I already get them? Didn't I already do that? Mary Jane, god damn it, Mary Jane. Okay, Mary Jane needs water... wait. Mary Jane needs water, Timmy needs food and water..., water... is for Dolores. Okay. Timmy needs food and water. That was right, right? Yeah, okay. Got it. "As long as we have food and water, we can stay locked in "but we'll eventually have to leave. It would be good to "head straight to safety" Okay! Talk on the radio. We're going to get it! We're going to do this one! I have a good feeling about this! As the dad, who has now left the responsibility of caring for his family... it's going to be fine "We knew it! The government hasn't fallen," Okay. "Timmy should eat." Timmy just ate! Didn't Timmy just eat? I'm pretty sure Timmy just ate. "...difficult to keep track of time" Actually Timmy doesn't need to eat yet. "Timmy should eat something" He's not ready to eat yet. "Difficult to keep track of time..." Let's use the board. HOOOOHHHHH WOOOO WHOA. I imagine this is going to last many many days down here. "Taking cover in the shelter..." Okay, uh... Okay, everyone's fine. Everyone's fine. "It's been a while-" We're going to look in, listen in Listen, duck, cover! Grab our butts, kiss 'em goodbye! Ted's back! Ted looks good! Ted looks a-okay Ted looks great, actually. "We were able to get a weak signal and tap into "government's emergency announcement service and guess what? "The fallout outside has mostly gone." Okay! Good! That's good! "Who you gonna call when the is on fire? "The fire department! We were thrilled to find the place still running. "Firefighters had relocated, redid some of their-" Oh my god. Nice. Alright. Messily painted... grim skull symbol? Wow. Oh. OH. "Firefighters redecorated the place and "redid their outfits. Most of the walls were "messily painted in black and red [breath] "and the fireman helmets now have a grim skull "symbol on them. We never thought our local firefighters "had such artistic souls, so alternative" That doesn't sound good! Is there a roving band of firefighters ready to murder anyone who goes out on the surface? That doesn't sound good. "Near the garage we found a few firefighters shooing "off some giant, mutated cockroaches with a firehose. "We joined in on the fun and managed to fill bottles of "water in the progre- process." Okay good. "Although initially friendly, the firefighters "became a bit anxious after a while. "They handed us a can of bugspay and asked us not to "tell anyone about what we saw here. "We're not sure why, maybe they're too humble and "don't want people to come and shower them with gifts. "Damn it! We really liked that suitcase. Well, it's gone now." [Laughing] Okay. Mary Jane needs something to drink Timmy needs food and water. Dolores needs food and water. Ted is really tired. That sounds like we don't need everyone to have something just yet. We're going to wait another day. We're going to wait another day. We're going to prep for... actually no. Actually, I'm going to give ... That's right I'm going to give Timmy food and water because he's about to go out tomorrow. 'Cuz Timmy's a strong boy! Timmy can do it! Timmy can go into the wasteland! He's going to be fine. "We were sure we'd looked though our supplies carefully, "but Mary Jane spotted something all of us missed. "A seed! A plant seed! " We should plant it to see what happens! "but we need a bottle of water for that. Should we do it?" We just so happen to have a surplus of water so I'm a-okay with trying this bottle of water to plant the seed, even though it's probably not going to do any good for us because what the hell would it bother? Yeah, that didn't work out, did it. See. "Here goes nothing. Soil, seeds, water. We'll see "what happens in a few days time. Let's just hope those "seeds don't turn into some useless flower. Mary Jane "seems optimistic." Okay. Mary Jane needs water... really badly. Dolores needs food. Ted needs food. Okay. Food. Food. Food and water. "We've been preparing for this expedition." Timmy's gonna go outside! Timmy's got it. I believe in Timmy. Timmy's a good boy. Timmy can do it. And there's giant mutant cockroaches out there so I'm going to take the bugspray with us. I don't know if that's going to do any good, but I think that's the hint it was trying to get to me and my inner game sense is telling me 'Big giant cockroaches need bugspray" Even though they probably needed it down here. 'Cuz I don't need the gas mask anymore because now it's safer to go out. "There's never a good time to go out into the radioactive "wasteland, but it seems this will become a necessity in "the new world of ours. We thought it would be a good "idea to make this happen sooner rather than later "and planned a trip outside. Before we could make the "third step beyond the shelter doors, an unknown "creature started growling at us from the darkness. "We only had moments to decide what to do." Flashlight! Look at it! It could be a- a friendly dohg! A friendly doge? [Mark can't say words right] *Bark!* Haa! What was it? Better not have taken any of my shit. "We decided to check what's coming for us with our flashlight. "Guess what? It was a dog!" [happy Mark sound] " "The poor thing seemed tired, so we let it stay with us for "the night. The next morning we opened the door to let it "out. It still hasn't returned. Hopefully it will come back later." [sad Mark sound] [more sad Mark noise] Poor little pup. Aw... Hopefully it will come back with something. "Everything is shaking, cans are jumping all over the place. "If this had happened after we drank-" Okay, it's an earthquake. Need to save the radio. No matter what, we're saving the radio. The gas mask I hope goes because frankly, we don't need it. Yes! Oh no. It got BOTH of them? Well, that's not fair! That's not fair at all. God damn it. Mary Jane needs water. Ted needs some food. Alright. "We found an unsigned letter today. The stranger asks "for our help - apparently there are a few survivors in "grave need of supplies and we have a chance to help them. "They're saying we won't regret it and it would make "several people very very happy." OHhhh, but I'm low on soup, man! I- I- alright, fine. I- I'm a nice- I'm a nice guy. You can get one of the post-shat out cans of soup. The ones that really splintered. Oh no. Now we're suddenly doing very poorly. "The authors of the note turned out to be twin siblings, "a brother and a sister. They greeted us happily and took "us to a small tent where they started handing out "the supplies we brought to a small group of hungry survivors." [breath] "Between them were people of all ages, including "children, the elderly, and even a mime. "The siblings shook our hands and proclaimed "that this is the beginning of a new friendship. "They promised to contact us again soon." Okay. Cool. Weird twin siblings. I wonder if that's a reference to anything. Mary Jane... no trouble dared to cross her path ... didn't cause any trouble... Oh okay. So the one thing, water for Dolores. Water for Dolores. Food f... Ah, Ted's fine. "Play a game they said. It will be fun, they said." Blablablablablah blah blah blah blah [vault door squeak] Yay! Timmy's back! Timmy! Oh, Timmy, you don't look so good. What did you contract out there? Were you just rolling purely in mud and mud alone? "We thought playing the silent game "would be a good idea... we were so afraid for Timmy "but he's back. The local school is a big building a mile "away from our house. Nobody liked that place. The "atomic blast didn't change that. Now without "windows and a few walrus [walls] remaining it looks even "more unpleasant. Pleasant or not, it seemed like a good "spot to hunt for supplies." We got a can of soup, alright! And two cans of water. "The P.E. teacher was a World War II veteran. He kept-" YES! New! Oh, a new gas mask. *gasp* And a maaaaaap Okay, so that's good. "At one point during our expedition, "we were ambushed by a pack of mutated cockroaches "we managed to scare them away with bugspray." OHHH! I CALLED IT! OH I CALLED IT! I CALLED IT! (2x) I CALLED IT (3x) Oh, I knew it. Oh, I knew it. (2x) Oh, I knew it. (3x) I knew it. I knew it. (2x) I knew it. (3x) Mary Jane's fine. Timmy's not feeling so good, but that's fine. Oh, man. Ted needs food and water. Timmy could use food. Oh, that's so good! Oh, that's so good! Oh yeah, we don't have anything to heal Timmy up. Hopefully he's going to feel fine after a while. Mary Jane doesn't need anything. Dolores doesn't need anything. Oh, that's so good! You know what, you get some water Timmy, just because I can. 'Cuz I feel like sparing it. Hnhnalright *sigh* "Plants are usually green, so it shouldn't be too worrying "that Mary Jane's plant is a bit glowy. It shines with a "healthy greenish color. Maybe that means it will bear "more fruit. Or vegetables. Or whatever those twisted "things hanging from that plant are. "Shall we collect them now? *shrug* Okay. Is this where everything's going to go horribly wrong? I'm pretty sure it's not supposed to glow green. That's probably bad. But, I wasted a can of water on this so of course I'm going to harvest it! Course I am! What's the worst that could happen? Ha! [coughing noises] Oh no. That didn't sound good. Uh. Someone looks in bad shape. Dolores, what did you do? Let's see. "Good call with the plant! We were able to procure fffffff- fffffffffff????? FOURHORHORHOR "The glow seemed to give it extra nutritional value." Seemed to. We're not scientists on the matter. But it's good enough for us! FOUR?!4!!?!4? [delighted giggles] [serious again] Alright Water for Mary Jane. Timmy's hungry. Okay. Water for Mary Jane. Ted seems to be alright. Water for Mary, food for Timmy. [quietly] Water for Mary. [slightly louder] Water for Mary, food for Timmy. Oh, this is so good! We got so much stuff! Do we even need to go out? (1x) Do we even need to go out? (2x) I would send Dolores, but... huh. Hey, Mary Jane seems to be fine. Dolores is tired. She can't go out. Mary Jane... Yeah, I could send Mary Jane out. That's fine. Alright. She looks good. What can she have? Don't need the gas mask anymore. Could do the map! That way, she could know where she's going. That could help her out. Okay. That's probably good. Alright, Mary Jane! I believe in you! [blows kisses] Go with... go with... go with good luck. I guess. I dunno if you're going to be fine, but... Gotta be good enough. Timmy's hungry still, probably because he's sick. Dolores needs something to eat and water. I'm just going to keep giving Timmy food because he's sick. I'm hoping he gets better s- OH NO OH NO. (2x) OH NO! (3x) OH NO (4x) OH NO (5x) MY MAP Ohhh noOOOo We're not going to get evacuated now! Damn it! This is bullshit. This is bullshit. (2x) This is bullshit. (3x) [exasperated sigh] "We were sure we could find the location without a map. "We were wrong. Hopefully we'll get lucky next time." Oh no. OooOOoh I have a map! "We were about to take a cautious peek outside when a "furry beast jumped on us. Good thing our hearts were "not battered by a fat-heavy hamburger diet "because it was our dog friend, and not a mutant lurking "to chew our bones. He seems hungry "shall we give him something to eat?" Yes of course we shall. Because he's a good boy! And we treat our friends with respect, even though we just so happen to not have the map at the right time. [smacks lips] Oh well. "The dog was back to his former self in under an hour. "We don't know what they put in that soup, but man, that "stuff is good! We decided the dog needed a name "and the right name for us was Pancake. "Come here Pancake! Who's goo' bwoy! "Pancake stayed for a while but was gone the next morning. "We can bet he will be back. "Timmy is looking very pale. That's not good." "Dolores would really love to eat something." Okay, so food for Dolores. Oh no! "If we don't do anything about Timmy's sickness..." But we didn't have anything! How are we supposed to do anything? [sad music] Timmy, have some water! Uh, fluids are good when you're sick! I guess! Oh no. "A group of doctors knocked on our door today "requesting some supplies that would be helpful for "refilling their first aid kits. We didn't doubt they were real "for a second. They did have labcoats and everything. "Should we help them?" Sure! Why not? What's the worst that could happen? We got plenty of supplies! No biggie deal. Oh no, Timmy's going to die. [sad music again] "The bottle of relatively clean water is the closest we'll "ever get to hydrogen peroxide." Oh, no. "Like the good scout he is, Timmy... "is making the best out of the situation. He even seems cheerful." Okay. Water for Dolores. Okay. Water for everybody. Water for everybody, just because... I'm worried about Timmy! It said he was okay... I don't know if he is now. But h- uh- he seemed okay. Alright... "It's hard not to worry, considering the situation... Timmy's good. Okay, Timmy's good! Timmy's good! Everyone's good! Everyone's a-okay! An uneventful day going right on by! [vault door squeak] *gasp* OHHH! Mary Jane, you hero Oh, you hero. Okay, so she brought the map back. "Little trip to the surface might've been spotted "we should be more careful." So we got one thing of water. One thing of water? "Any place can be interesting enough to look for supplies "... garbage cans. Garbage collection was supposed to "be happening around this time, but the truck never came "we never thought we could say that, but we aren't "complaining. Why do people throw out water, fi- Aww just one water? Mary Jane! Come on! Mary Jane! You- you're lucky I'm going to give you food. Dammit. Fine, have some food. Whatever. Water too, I guess. God damn it! *angry sigh* Alright. Ted! Ted's my man! Ted's my man! (2x) Ted's my man! (3x) He's gonna go out. "The siblings are back! Their group is growing bigger "with each passing day, they pick up tired and hungry "survivors and nurse them back to health. However, "so far, they only have one tent and soon they will run out "of space for everybody. Right now they're scouting the "town for a good spot to build a bigger camp and they "could really use a map." I have a map! I have a map! I have a map! (2x) I have a map! (3x) By the way, we're surviving a lot longer than the tutorial said we'd be surviving. "They didn't have to ask twice - these people are very "friendly, and the way they take care of others is impressive. "We showed them the map and pointed out a few bandit "camps that they should avoid. They were grateful and "stayed for a little chat. They said they would be more "than happy if we came to visit them once their camp is "ready. We can't wait to see how it turns out." Mary Jane is hungry. Timmy's hungry. See... Timmy needs water. Dolores has to drink. Ted wishes for a few drops of water. Okay, they can survive. We need to be very stringent about that because I don't know ... I don't know if I... I don't know if I should... Ted... Send Ted out. You know what? I gotta send Ted out. 'Cuz if we... If we just stay here, we're not going to be doing good. Take the padlock! Because I don't know what that's going to do for us. If I need the padlock right soon, I'm going to be very upset. But... it's okay... we'll be fine. Everything's going to be fine. Mary Jane needs food. Timmy needs water and food. Dolores needs water. Food. Water. Water, food. That was right, right? Timmy hungry and water. Dolores water. [muttering] "We heard barking, we were at the door in a moment's "notice. This time we were right - it was Pancake! "He had come back, but wasn't willing to enter. "Instead, he seemed very anxious to lead us somewhere "Should we grab any gear before we head out?" How about the gun? Gun sounds good. Gun sounds gooooood Gun sounds real good. Alright. Goodie goodie gumdrops. Maybe the map. I don't know. Map? Gun? I could lose the map. [inhaling through gritted teeth] Eenie meanie miney moe, catch a tiger by the toe Which one should I do? Which one should I do? (2x) Which one should I do? (3x) Alright GUN! [anxious silence] [coughing sounds] Yeeee. We look in bad shape. "The old saying goes 'better safe than sorry.' The rifle "seemed to be the right choice of gear for venturing into "the unknown. We didn't expect to run into trigger happy "folk who started shooting before asking questions. "Gunshots were enough to send Pancake running. We "got back to safety, but he didn't show up." WHAT?!?! Is that good or bad? I don't understand what- Aww. Mary Jane can survive longer. I don't know if that's good or bad! "Remember that time Mary Jane went out to scavenge "supplies? When she got back, she had a wound on her "forearm. Nothing..." Something had bitten her? Aw, I don't have the- OH MAN THE AXE? Just to chop it off? That seems a little extreme, don't you think? Did she get bit by a radioactive spider? Oh god, that doesn't look good. That looks very bad. Oh no. "Mary Jane will be fine. It's not the first time and it won't "be the last time she's sick. She is looking pale today, though." ... keeps fainting. She needs water. Oh boy. Water for Mary Jane. Oh man, we are in dire straits. We gotta get- *gasp* YES! OH! Yes! Map! Oh, man. I could have lost the map if I went out with the map last time. So this is GOOD Okay! Okay! Okay! Okay! We're going to get rescued. We're gonna be fine. We're gonna get rescued. And it's gonna be a-okay. Ted, I don't... "Ted has been outside for far too long and still he has not returned." WHAT! "We fear he isn't coming back"!?!?!?! [distressed] Ted! Oh nohohoho! Timmy! What! Huh? HUH?!?!?! "Timmy was very sick and there was nothing we could have done to make it better" "He understood it and probably decided he's better off away from such irresponsible parents!" "He left and never came back!?!" WHY IS THIS ALL FALLING APART NOW?!? UAHHHA! But I ca- I take care of them! I took care of them! But I took care... "Where did that green puddle come from? Oh dear "a pipe is leaking green goo. That's not good. "We need to act. What should we do?" Oh man. Why is this all falling apart now? It's day 35. Jeez. Jeez, man! Oh no. Oh no. (2x) Oh no. (3x) I'm not sending anyone else outside. Because I'm not leaving. No way! No I'm not. It's not happening. We're going to stay in this little shelter. Dolores is going to stay down here because Dolores can last a long time by herself! Until she needs to get rescued! Why is Ted gone forever? "Ohh dammit! Something blew up inside the radio and the wretched thing caught fire!" Oho nohohohoho OH NO "When we opened the bunker door this morning to let some fresh, radioactive air "we discovered a small suitcase... no note on it..." "Should we take a look inside?" Absolutely, we should look inside because WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG? Oh no. "Damn it, the gift was booby trapped. There was nothing "inside but some junk and as soon as we opened it, it exploded. "Is anybody hurt?" It just exploded!?! OH GOOD! Oh man. Mary Jane needs water. They both need water. And now, Dolores is hurt. How is she hurt? Oh, her legs been blown. GOOD. GREEEEEAT! GREEEEEAAAAAAAAT! "We were afraid we wouldn't hear back again, but our friends are back! The siblings have proudly declared that their camp is ready but they had one more thing in mind for it - a school. "They want to somehow educate the children that live there. They already appointed a few people to teach, but they're a bit short on reading material." I've got nothing, unfortunately! I never ever ever picked up the survival guide. So I'm boned on that one. "When emptying our bucket in front of the shelter, we discovered a hastily drawn map on one of the ruined walls." "Someone drew out a route and marked a spot at the end of it, maybe there are supplies hidden there?" We should check. Mary Jane, go for it! You got it! I believe in you! Go on! Get up there! That doesn't seem good that she's not back. "Mary Jane was supposed to be back in a few days, but it's been too long." "We fear something bad has happened to her?" Oh, come on! "Luckily- lucky find! We were afraid the map was a trap, leading us straight into a camp full of bandits," "but it turned out to be true!" "At the end of the path, we found some supplies that might be helpful for us." Mary Jane... There was no point in you going there. There was no point. There was no point. "The raider camp on our street has been especially maddening lately, they're acting like real savages." "We won't stand for that, somebody should show them that the innocent survivors of the wasteland aren't just miserable victims." Okay, Delores. Go out in a blaze of glory! You shoot 'em up, you bang bang boombidie bang- Oh! You're alive! Wow, that's actually kind of amazing. "We bravely stormed into the camp screaming insults and threats at the top of lungs," meaning Delores did this by herself, just an old-school mum, just like *high-pitched* 'AHHH! STOP ALL THAT!' BANG! BANG! BANG! *high-pitched* 'You're dead now!' That was the best impression of a soccer mum that I could possibly do. Soccer mum to no husband and no children anymore... Well, that's sad. "Sadly, there was no one there to appreciate our courage, it looks like the bandits went raiding and left the camp empty thinking no one would dare get close to it anyway!" "But not us! We fearlessly collected whatever we could from their supplies and courageously ran back to our shelter." "We think it's the ultimate proof that we're not in danger - we are the danger!" We ARE the danger. Okay. And apparently I can do something about Delores' injuries now! She's gonna survive! She's gonna survive alone, but she's gonna SURVIVE, dammit! Where the god damn's our rescue? Holy tits. Uh-oh, she's not doing good. But I just- But- "Her sanity's questionable"? Oh no, is that because she's got no one? Eat some food and water! Tha-that'll help you! You're confident you'll survive outside? "Wasteland is full of supplies, like this man knocking on the other side of the door, knocking, claiming that he's willing to offer a lot for decent ammunition." "Shall we trade?" Okay, I've got decent ammunition. I don't think the checkerboard's good enough, but I've got decent ammunition! I don't know what good this is gonna do me, I already banged it all in the bandit camp! Did I get anything in return? Mmm? "We handed the ammunition to the stranger and he offered- OHH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH BUT DELORES ISN'T DOING SO GOOD. DELORES ISN'T HOME RIGHT NOW. "Another radio broadcast from the military was a huge shock for us." "Not only did they postpone our rescue, they also ordered all survivors to get rid of their firearms." "Are they nuts? How are we supposed to defend ourselves?" "It'd better be worth it." Alright, whatever. Fine then! I guess. What more could go wrong? Delores is almost bonkers-cuckoo! *Sucks in a breath* Oh no. "We decided to follow the military orders, we did it with a heavy heart, but if it's the price of getting to safety-" Alright. Well, getting the family to safety. Um, you mean Delores, who's half-gone. "Sanity is very questionable." How 'bout... nothing? You get nothing. How 'bout- how bout'- How 'bout water? How 'bout water? You get water. *sigh* 45 days-o! 45 days! 45 days in the apocalypse, lovely lovely time. Why did Ted have to go? "Everything seems okay with Delores." I'm not a hundred percent sure about that! I'm pretty sure that's the opposite of the truth. "We got a visit today from a person with a physical mutation - he managed to grow several extra fully operational hands!" "He shared the story of his group with us - people with other deformities, who despite the circumstances remain friendly and struggle to gather supplies." "Wherever they go, people just shoo them away in fear of getting sick." "He promises that if we gift him some supplies, his group will help us get rid of bandits next time they bother us." Okay, I think I got soup to spare. Why not? Y'know what? Why not? Why not? WHY NOT? "Day 47". Shocked if I make it to 50. "It feels good to have some friends in this cruel, empty wasteland." "A few of our supplies is a small price to pay when it comes to the safety of your family." Once again, just Delores sitting alone in the basement! All by herself! With no one to keep her company but the radiation and the sounds of a clicking radio. And the rats! Don't forget the giant rats! And the giant fluffy bunny named Fluffernutter. "Someone paid us a visit today - it was an overly cheerful red haired woman, accompanied by a grumpy looking mercenary-type who was probably her guard." "She told us she was a trader and she'd eagerly trade us some things for some things!" Bug spray for a gas mask. Medkit for bullets. I-I only have a gas mask. Is that gonna do good enough? Alright, whatever. We're gonna try it. 'Cause I've got nothing better to do and I'm pretty sure Delores is on her way out. I made it to 50 somehow! Don't know how, but I did it. And then I'm gonna send Delores off into the wasteland with nothing else but bugspray. Yep. Anyway, what was that? Uh, "her advice seems pretty useless." "We already know that radiation is dangerous and that hitting a rat with a stick will eventually kill it." Okay! Good job, trader lady! Alright. *blows out his frustration* Off you go then! You go with the industrial bug spray and you have a good time out there, Delores. You have a good time, even though you're crazy. She's not gonna make it. "The End." That's the end! Tha- Whoa, that's a new screen. Holy crap, what the hell is that? Why is the mailman out there? Well, this is a completely new screen. Oh. "We found access to our house restricted by concrete barriers and a small platoon of heavily-armed soldiers patrolling the area around it"? "We thought that's our ticket out of here, but they just took everything we had and chased us off into the wasteland." "Guess we'll be hunter-gatherers now. Like in the good old stone-age days!" WHAT!? HUH!? WHY DID THEY WALL OFF OUR HOUSE? WELL THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! Wha- we didn't get rescued? HUH?!? WH-WHAT? Was that the point of that? Was that the point that they would never rescue us in the first place? That's not how the game would end and I had to trust like, twins doing their thing? Is that how it's supposed to be? What? Oh, my goodness! "The Government took over our shelter." Well. Wunderbar! [German for 'Wonderful'] That's no good! Even the mailman, who probably was telling us that we're all gonna be a-okay and we could go out and have fun. Well. I survived for 55 days on my own. Ted is dead somewhere in the wasteland. "You were driven away." Oh that's new! Thank you! Driven away into where? Alright, anyway. That's all the time I have for 60 Seconds. Ahh, tell me what I did wrong in the comments below, probably I just didn't have enough stuff that I was supposed to be able to do everything that I needed to. And the expeditions somehow went very awry. So anyway, thank you all so much for watching, I hope to get back to this in a new episode and do WAY better very soon. So thanks again, and as always, I will see YOU in the next video! Buh-bye! [Outro music: Crazy La Paint by MiniMusicMan]
