Marjorie Taylor Greene Wants Fauci Fired, Trump Slips into Obscurity & We Prank Aunt Chippy

[Applause] that's nice i'm happy to see other human beings too you know we're coming to you from the city of los angeles where we have a lot of weird stuff in l.a this is a strange place to live we have earthquakes we have wildfires we have kardashians we've got mountain lions and last night we had cows the cows are believed to have broken free from a nearby meat packing plant all night long sheriff's deputies have been trying to corral the cows and cul-de-sacs but they just keep escaping as i look down the street they may decide to take matters in their own hands and we are going to back up as the cow goes down the street and this is one determined cow did they get the cow in did they get the cow in where's the cow sir where is it you don't hear that much actually it's funny but you know a place like a place like wyoming that would have been handled in about 10 minutes here we have 15 yoga instructors standing on the hoods of their teslas shooting instagram videos of the cows speaking of out-of-control cows the top karen in congress marjorie taylor-green has introduced uh legislation that she is calling the fire fouchy act which would not actually fire dr fauci would just reduce his salary down to zero dollars a year isn't it amazing she thinks she deserves the 174 thousand dollars a year we pay her and he doesn't it's clan mom accuses dr fauci of failing to provide people with accurate information about the kova 19 pandemic this is from the woman who believes hillary clinton eats baby meat pepperoni on her pizzas but the fire fought the act is actually getting some traction among republicans and congress partly thanks to a release of dr fauci's emails which has given the q a nuts a new blanket to chew on dr anthony fauci has lied he has lied over and over again and now that his emails have come out people have seen the truth this is not a man that cared about the american people he lied to president trump and told him millions of people would die when in fact he knew and stated in his own emails that several hundred thousand people would die was she hoping for more what's going on how about instead of a fire fouchy actually pass a fire marjorie tiller green out of a cannon act into mexico by the lottery to decide who gets to light the fuse meanwhile marjorie's uh personal lord and savior donald trump is um i don't know what's going on trump's inner circle is almost as small as his hands right now even even jared and ivanka are said to be distancing themselves from present daddy they skipped out on a number of events mar-a-lago trump has reportedly become so distant from ivanka he started calling her eric which is really sad and they say that trump is now without his his family at his side he's become increasingly surrounded by shady groupies and enablers who take advantage of him to advance their own agendas he's like a monkey and three giraffes away from being michael jackson in 2008 and while the less of them we get is good news for most of us for some it's creating a financial strain after a half decade of dominating the public consciousness donald trump is slowly fading from the public eye you may have forgotten about him but please don't forget about us did you know four out of five trump impressionists on cameo are living below the poverty line sad that's horrible we desperately need your help i've got bigly expenses my monthly mortgage huge trump may not pay his taxes but i have to we've made sacrifices i gave up my living room for this i gained 75 pounds for this roll and that's the last i spent 80 bucks a week on spray tan i spent 200 on a trump puppet what the was i thinking i can't even pronounce china the normal way anymore china china china it's terrible so please keep ordering from us what else are you gonna get your racist uncle or your a-hole brother who stormed the capitol need to fire someone hire me to spice it up i'll tell your contractor he's getting stiffed i'll tell your porn star she's getting stiffed don't make me go back to doing borat that wouldn't be very nice paid for by depressed impressionists of america everybody's people are here pretty hard all right now it's um it's family time my aunt chippy is how old is aunt chippy guillermo oh she's very old very very old aunt tippy's my real aunt she's also my cousin sal's aunt and we haven't seen her a lot because of covert she lives in las vegas and she hasn't been to the show for more than a year so we told her before she comes into the show into our theater she has to have a medical exam just to make sure she's healthy enough to be in here so we set up a tent in the parking lot a medical tent and we flew her out and then when she showed up cousin sal and i got to work [Music] she's in a good mood i hope she probably is otherwise let's just do it a different day all right here we go hi there why don't you go ahead and sanitize your hands sit on down and then we'll just get you started so what's your first name concerto concerto can you c-o-n c-e-t-t-a sorry could she's a little bit slower for me c-o-n right let me get a few of these screeners out the way how often do you exercise never how often do you urinate mostly in the middle of the night and uh do you make a bowel movement you want to have to yeah okay and how's that and how's that for you sorry okay you love it do you love it is it something do i work do you love it do i love it i mean is it easy for you is it stupid how long does it take how long does it take how long does it take yes to move my guys just in case there's something where we need to look at it being a longer amount of time or if it's about okay normal do you smoke yes how much how much maybe two cigarettes a day two i would have guessed more i would have guessed more looks like you've got a life expectancy of 49. i should have died at 49. yeah that would have been like 1992. let me get when you get the number go whoa whoa what i think you set the record i think you've set the record maybe if you smoked more than two cigarettes maybe if you smoked more than two i don't think more than two okay but it is good to lose weight it's good to lose weight tell me about it let me tell you something when i was nine months pregnant i weighed 140 pounds wow what happened what happened all right let me get the doctor for you one second when you come in and just say like wow i hear you weigh a lot hi there i'm dr morrow wow i hear you weigh a lot yeah i do all right you can take your mask off i'm just going to check your hearing real [Music] quick yeah oh that's so loud yeah you can hear it it's really loud so can i i'm gonna do a quick reflex check nothing happened it's like banging on a mannequin bang on the frickin head all right coven tends to uh have people lose their smell so we're gonna do a smell test okay so put this on and you just need to make sure that you still have smell yes you have to identify these scents you have to identify these scents you smell that i smell it but it doesn't smell very good maybe hold it all right well maybe hold it that'll help here i'm going to put in your hands smell that and what is that any better i have no idea get the hell out of my hand this is take off the mask i would get this thing out of my hands [Applause] oh you live in vegas yeah i had to come in at 1 30 this morning for this are you a gambler sorry excuse me i have a little call excuse me i have a little cold let's get you on the table we have to do a midichlorian test way down here it measures the force in your body ladies the force the amount of force yes we want to make sure it be with you we're going to make sure it'd be with you she told me i was supposed to be dead at 49. you like gambling sure what do you like to play what do you like to play oh the slots is just a poker machine i never gamble when i go to vegas i never gamble when i go to vegas it's what do you do all hookers all hookers hookers i raised three daughters over there none of them are hookers all right well we're almost done our final part of our exam we're gonna go ahead and do a colonoscopy we're going to bring in a team for that [Applause] tell jimmy i was here i said in my regards i love them but the next time i see them i'm going to be edible oh that's it that's that's it did someone call for did someone call for a call and ask him here we are [Applause] what the hell's the matter with you too just turn over this is my 8 30 flight was delayed until 12 45 last night get me off sad instead of a what [Applause] made it again what's the matter with you guys and you you could make a living doing something better than this hi i'm jimmy kimmel and this is the internet i made it myself hit subscribe if you like it

Channel: Jimmy Kimmel Live

Views: 1,877,584

Keywords: jimmy, jimmy kimmel, jimmy kimmel live, late night, talk show, funny, comedic, comedy, clip, comedian, mean tweets, Pandemic, Coronavirus, COVID-19, Social Distancing, Quarantine, Monologue, Guillermo, Live Audience, Donald Trump, Trump, Los Angeles, Cows, Escaped Cows, MTG, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Dr. Fauci, Newsmax, Mar-A-Lago, Trump impersonators, Aunt Chippy, Prank, Medical Exam

Id: Zs0R6qPm58Y

Length: 12min 46sec (766 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 23 2021