LOVE, DATING, COURTSHIP & MARRIAGE Dr Myles munroe giving relationship advice and helpvia torchbro

[Music] maybe 96% of the men in this room never heard their father say to them you make me proud you done well men we are in such dire straits only God could help us stay with me not because your father is in the house doesn't mean he's fathering you this statement is still not understood properly by women or by men the average man in this country and in my country and in the whole Western world is struggling with his true manhood he doesn't know what it is to be a man about 40 years ago it was very easy to be a man 60 years ago it was automatic to be a man because the rules are very clear he goes to work you keep the house you have the babies he buy the food and that's why your grandmother didn't have a divorce there was no divorces back then because the rules are very clear everyone knew where their place was the man places out working woman's was home keeping home and then the man bought the home the woman cleaned it and kept it the man bought the food woman cooked it and served it was very simple matter of fact most women and men at that time didn't have a problem with one another because there was no competition and no contention it was so tough to survive 60 years ago and everybody had to keep their rules Claire it was simple to be married and to love when the matter-of-fact yo your grandmother and grandfather did not really express love the way you express love today because they don't have no they don't have no time to do it he was busy he was busy working 1012 hours a day by time he came all he wanted was food sex in bed and you know the woman back then didn't complain why she understood he worked all day he would tie it she had his food ready she fed him had sex went to bed he's happy next money goes back out in the forests on the jungle of life and work for her and take care the kids and so she actually respected him because he did that he worked hard and she she was respected by him because he knew she took care of the kids in the home and and everything so they respected one that there was a high respect from Charlie their love was based on their roles they she loved him because he worked so hard to keep the family together there was this ritual respect and then something happened World War two came World War two changed the world in ways we have not calculated yet hundreds of thousands of men in America went to Europe to fight the men used to work in the factories but now when the men are gone the women were asked to make bullets and to instead of you know sewing they had to learn to make tanks and if you study the history of America that's when we even began to leave the home to go out and work for the war machinery so the men are in the battlefield they left home the women now have to go and make the bullets for the men to use in the guns after the war was finished 1945 the men come back home and there's no one home where is she she's in the factory gets a job that used to be his job so now he comes back with two problems one the homes empty and she has this job problem she's now earning revenue so now we got three problems because he used to provide everything that's why she respected him now she's making more than he's making so the the respect has dropped thirdly they used to need each other that's why your grandmother and grandfather never got a divorce they needed each other matter of fact that she didn't mention leaving his question would have been where you go she had no money she had no support that's why she stayed that's why many times you know 60 years ago a little maybe abused by a man but never leave she had nowhere to go there was no other support so she stayed she made the marriage where he made the marriage work but now we got a new equation we got women out working now we got men displaced and they're not sure what to do and you know back then a man's manhood was measured by simple things like he builds the house for her he earns the food he brings home the bacon he paced the utilities he takes you of the kids as far as their maintenance and he protects the family and it was clear that's what a man does she was very clear what she did was she kept the house clean she kept the kids in order she cooked the food and she took the money and distributed properly but now here comes a new equation he comes home and today is still being felt he doesn't know this to be a man anymore I mean women and it's not your fault please don't think is your fault it would happen to our social structure so now we have men today's since World War two don't know how to be a man now your grandfather told you or you want to be a man put your foot down in your house your answer is not my house so he's frustrated so what does he do the only thing that he has left is his strength so the result is domestic abuse and that's why domestic violence is so high because we got a male in crisis who is frustrated at misunderstanding with manhood means because he you see in the past womanhood and manhood was measured by the roles that they play but now the roles are gone forty years ago the man brought home the bacon today the woman owns two pig am i right what do you do when yo when the woman makes more money than you men fall apart there are no to do with that they don't know well how am I supposed to feel like a man if you make more money than me see and he feels this this crisis inside now let me tell you what's happening to the male here's a verse you never saw before guarantee it's found in Psalm 62 it talks about exactly what's happening in a male right now in your country some sixty two talks about how we are treated as males here's what it says in verse three how long will you assault a man with all of you throw him down this leaning wall this tottering fence that's what they doing to us we already leaning and they're pushing us you could never do anything right they say you just like your problem they say you can never succeed in anything you are a loser you can't even keep your children you can't take you of your wife you can't keep a job they keep pushing look how long will you assault a man society's assaulting us David says they fully intend to topple him from his lofty place talking about man they take delight in lies in lyanna's they lie with the amounts and they bless but in their hearts they crush us it's talking about what they do the men listen to this he says but fine rest on my soul David says even though they try to destroy me as a male I find my risk o my soul in God alone my hope comes from him are you listening to me he alone is my rock and my salvation and he is my fortress I will not be shaken so here's what I call the male's mind today most of you could relate to dismiss men don't feel the power of self-confidence anymore they don't feel the power of social roles anymore men don't feel the power of their masculinity anymore that's why many of them not sure whether they are men many men don't feel like they wanted by women anymore how many women have you met who said to you I don't need your car I don't need your money I don't need your house I don't need nothing from you I got everything myself and some of you married women that I'm making you feel like dirt because when you met her she had babies and house already and then she puts pressure on you by saying mom should be a man well you don't know what to be a man you know what that means anymore because when your father was a man was easy so do I buy a house she got a house do I buy a clock she got to do I give her children she came in three of them or do I buy groceries she owns refrigerator try give him money she brought him the pig not just the bacon she making more than me so now the guy is stuck so what am I to do to be a man now in this house your problem is you don't feel wanted anymore how many times have woman threatened you you don't know what I say you can get out of this my house you remember the days and your father is a man he's a sadist my house I better pass on this house she red pants too now what you mean you wear the pants tough to be a man man don't feel needed anymore of course she doesn't need you her salary is higher than yours she owns the condominium the car you driving is my car the TV you watching is hot TV and the food refrigerator is not food and the fridge I can tell you to be a man that's why a lot of men don't know what to do they don't feel appreciated they don't feel respected they don't feel secure that's why many men act like women they are feminized because they are threatened by the woman because you see the problem is the woman don't know what she's doing to you she needs help - because she's destroying your masculinity another concern that I've concluded is this one statement dad is destiny they were doing a main article in Newsweek magazine during the period of father Father's Day and they did a research on fathers based on all of their research they concluded that dad is destiny and what they meant was so go the men so go the nation they found out that 92% of all problems in society is related to the absence of a male in the family whether it's boys with guns or girls with babies dropouts of school prisons filled with young men all related they say - the absence of a father in the house the secular world therefore agrees with God finally if you read what God's conclusion of humanity's problem is it may shock you but in the last chapter of Malachi the last three verses God concludes what man needs yes he says in Malachi he will come returned the hearts of the children back not to the mothers but to the fathers and the fathers back to the children otherwise he says I will curse the land which means whenever a society is crumbling and seeming is under a curse God says it's because the fathers are absent after you read that statement in Malachi you'll find a blank page in your Bible you check this a blank page that blank cake is 400 years of silence God said nothing for 400 years and then suddenly a man of players in the wilderness Matthew - and it's John the Baptist and Jonah Bluffs introduces this great Messiah who came to return the hearts of the father's back to the children and the children back to the father's here's what's interesting and mysterious to me Jesus when he came to solve man's problem never chose a woman as a disciple why he came to fix humanity and he had to follow a blueprint and the blueprint didn't call for women he had the deme of the original blueprint of fix humanity so he knew he had to deal with what the blueprint called for and it called for the male's to be fixed first the Bible says he chose 12 but the women followed is a very important scenario here man you gotta go get man for women they just shortly ready shocked women just show up let's have church they say but man they playing sports they out in the clubs they drinking liquor they smoking dope they in jail you gotta go get them that's why churches are filled with women he was dealing with healing humanity here's the other problem I call it the male crisis the men have lost their sense of purpose that's why they bunks from job to job to job they don't know what their career is they don't know their vocation is anymore they kind of move around just kind of bounce around there's no sense of purpose number two they lost their identity that's why they pretend to be other people sometimes men pretend to be women they have no identity thirdly men lost the definition of manhood they don't know what it is they also lost their value to life they lost their meaning in their lives they have no reason to live most men lost their role they don't know what it is to be a man in society or in the home they launched this sense of significance they feel that they are not important to the world anymore and the average man that's why he drinks and is in gangs and he kills and he shoots and he domestically violate his family because he is a man who has no sense of value he has no vision he lost his sense of importance he also lost his sense of authority how many men are afraid to lift their voice in their own house the children that live in your house in yours so what do you do with them and they curse you back they tell you you're not my daddy I mean this is this is frightening to some men that's why a lot of you men I know you're quiet in here but you can deal with this stuff you go room to have children you been married for five years and the kids call you by your first name no authority and you can't correct and when they curse and do foolishness you came to correct for there's no authority in the house but you feel like a slave like a dog that's what men are dealing with today they are in this room men lost this sense of respect no one respects the male me more so he doesn't respect himself either and then men also lost what I call their own manhood they lost in manhood this is why they try to define manhood in very difficult ways now let me tell you the result of all of this crisis the result is this very important list first of all the challenge is that is that the male is struggling with his purpose he doesn't know why a male was created he also is struggling with his manhood he doesn't know what it is to be a man and he also doesn't know what it is to have authority he's trying to regain Authority by force or by abuse men are also struggling with their self-image they not sure to be a man so they imitate other men who are not worthy of imitation they trying to find the image and then then also trying to move with a woman in the 21st century it's almost impossible to live with a woman the 21st century because she doesn't need nothing from you you buy a woman a gift she said that's cheap and then break your heart you can't buy a car she got two of them you can't buy a clothing she got a closet full when you met her so men are struggling with how to live with a woman who has everything challenging and then you meet a woman who has her own household car refrigerator food clothes and everything else and you move into the house after you get married and in your house so there's that fear that stays with you all doing them years you afraid to come flick with her you afraid to a challenge that because she might put you out because if we're gonna fix the men we got to first understand their problem now what's the result of all of this confusion for the male first of all the mayor lost his self-image secondly he lost his self-concept the picture would a man supposed to be like he also lost his self-confidence that's why most men are very timid very shy and very angry or mixed up in woman they also lost their self-worth they don't feel valuable anymore you know what made my father feel valuable when my mother told him thank you for bringing home food thank you for coming to roof over our heads thank you for providing for the kids that made them feel valuable but you don't hear that no more today because the kids under roof others so you're struggling is to feel important to your wife your solo is our sense of self-esteem what makes us feel significant you begin to hate ourselves we lost our self love and therefore we lost our conviction most men I meet have no conviction in life they just want to kind of pay a bill and die there's no sense of assignment no sense of purpose no sense of living for a reason no conviction that's why they sleep around no conviction how babies all over the city no conviction this resulted in the condition that we're dealing with I call it the male condition the average man is confused why he confused with everything he don't know who he is why he is where he is what he is and why he's going everybody's going he doesn't either understand the women do understand with women to understand which society wants from him so he's confused and therefore he's also angry you won't admit that but I know that's true and your anger is deeply concealed I guarantee you that all the men in prison are angry men all listen I've done interviews with these men everyone was angry and 90% it was angry at their father who they never met or they never saw who was never there oh they couldn't talk to they were angry and their anger comes out in frustration and the frustration comes out in self hatred and the separation of manifest and oppression and most when I depressed and they quietly carry their anger we have get rid of that anger domestic violence comes from resentment that results in social abandonment that's when men give up on society there's no hope there used to be going to school let me go trying to get a good job no use to me trying to advance myself they just abandon themselves to society as I'm not getting involved in the rat race they say they give up and so we get gangs all over the city we got all kinds of social clubs we got all kinds of fraternities all these different things we try to cuz we've given up and the last thing is that men manifest this hatred in domestic abdication abdication means he decides to leave the home can't take it anymore I'm out of here that's why I divorce rates are so high infidelity is so high abandoning kids are so high spreading your sperm around the city so high why yes abandon society domestic abandon my lady I'm out of your mother your woman I'm gone because the man is suffering that whole list let me tell you something even getting saved as I solve this problem I know if preachers will beat their wives for Holy Ghost I know people Cresta their children mad because of their wife snap them and then preach the next morning because they never dealt with the the real issue Manzi in order for the male to get help he has to respond correctly here's what I am recommending and I'm happy to see cuz I think you're responding correctly one for the male to have solutions these problems he must first recognize he need help and that's tough for male to admit secondly he must accept the need for help and thirdly he must admit that he doesn't know some things we think we know everything you know we could tell me not not going to know Samba now I'm a man I go to a conference I know the man is you don't know the man it you can't even sleep with your own wife you gotta admit you don't know some things I read four books a month that's a tough thing to do here is why I read so much is because I don't want to be stupid I got a family a wife and kids that I have to leave I have companies that have to leave I have one that lance's churches in my country to lead I got a government I got seventeen countries that look to me for advice presence of Prime Minister look to me for advice I gotta keep reading remember the last time you read a book and finish it know why it'll read you think you know everything already that's your problem you gotta admit that you don't know and number four he must seek the help of successful men we go to the wrong men to get help here's a guy who been divorced five times and you go to him for advice that's stupid man I'm talking with your brother yeah I mean your blood brother he can't even stay married don't listen to him he told me the man who never had a business and want a business from them seek successful men and then submit to them and number five commit yourself to pursue knowledge men I challenge you to decide from this night forward that you're gonna turn your home into a library you have to do this brother no one can learn for you no one commit that you're gonna change after this night you're going to become a pursuer of knowledge as a man that goes you pass the stupid many passes don't even read a book including the Bible they only read the Bible for sermons you got official knowledge number six write this down invest in your own education that's it man it costs money to buy books and CDs your pastor got a bunch of CDs in that in that store back there and you never go there and get a CD from five years ago what you think you know everything invest the value and the cost of ignorance is always higher than knowledge Bob this is know what you're getting get understanding and then it says because you all you have get understanding probably it's for over seven you got a choice it in a book on a box of chicken after this meeting you have to invest in your own development and number seven accept your weakness man if you're going to become real man first you gotta be on with your self where you are weak I don't know everything I got a problem in this area I got a habit that's killing me I have a weakness for women I got a weakness with drugs I got a weakness for liquor that was the only first stop pretending hallelujah praise the Lord you okay and in secret photography is eating you up because I can't help you unless you first tell me needed Jesus never volunteered a miracle never every miracle he performed was a result of a question what can I do for you is it he met a blind man one time he said what can I do for you I mean come on it's probably obvious no date obvious but the blind man made his money by his blindness you got except that you need help I made when you identify your weaknesses magnify your strengths every male in here got some strong things in his life that are very good and that's what we got to bring out of you this week you are a good man believe me you've done some bad things but you are a good man and we got to go after the good man inside of you do you know why every man in here love comic books me tell you why you love comic books all of us are two men in this room that's why you love those characters they are free they are you everybody got a Superman on a Clark Kent and you never want us to see Clark you know what's amazing is when your wife discovers Bruce my god I discovered something if you tell your wife about Clark she will have a greater respect for Superman I remember the day when I decided to tell my wife about Bruce Banner we were early in our marriage you know and I told her look let me tell you a part of me that you need to know and I need you to help me strengthen and get rid of that person and when I shared it my wife she hugged me she said nothing a woman wants from a man that honesty oh she said she said you just made me love you boy from that day my wife has been the solution to my weakness she protects that end of my life all those years I'm Telus down to zero she's made me Superman every day I want to read a verse to you that you probably never saw before also I call it a call to men David was a great father his son was Solomon David was a great King a great politician he's also a musician a songwriter very multi-talented guy David is on his deathbed about to die I want to read what David says to his son it says in the book of first Kings chapter 2 verse 1 when the time drew near for David to die he gave a charge to his son so now watch a father talk to a son go I am about to go the way of all the earth he said so be strong and show yourself a man now that's a good statement from a daddy pouring a powerful in it what a good word for a father to say to his son son about to die show yourself a man show yourself a man he says first of all observe with the Lord your God requires secondly walk in his ways thirdly keep his decrees and his commands what Lee says keep his laws and requirements that are written in the book then he says so that you may prosper in all you do and whatever you've ever you go son you're gonna be okay and you keep the law I taught you did your father leave you the Word of God like that or he just kind of left you he just left you today he left you anyone I he left you when he was 14 he left before he was born and no man ever came to you and says now show yourself a man but most men to know the man is that's why I'm here I'm here to show you how to be a man because most men don't know the man is Davison Sheila self a man and he knew what a man look like a man keeps the law of God keep this requirement who are painted statues who walk in his way he said David if you do that you'll make plenty money you will live long you'll keep your body pure you won't take liquor slow though you we'll keep bad company you'll prosper the last party says and the Lord will keep his promises to me he said listen son if you be a man the problems that God gave you would be fulfilled in you the other son are you talking to your son do you tell your son you love it at age 18 did your father tell you is the question defects the vision God gave you is supposed to be transferred to your son why is the mail so important let me give you the first answer number one because the mail is God's strategy for ruling the earth that's how important you are man you are God's secret weapon and the devil knows it that's why the pressures on you the devil is so afraid of man he sends him into church the devil is not afraid of women I'm telling you he don't care I'm a nun come to church and worship God keep the men under God's presence because the devil knows the strategy wise men so important because the male is God's foundation for his human family when I discovered an important I was my whole thinking changed [Music] [Music]

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Id: 7SYOqz9562M

Length: 27min 9sec (1629 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 10 2019