Long-Lasting Relationship Secrets with Will & Jada Smith on Oprah

today all new now this is a fascinating Hollywood family Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith give it up I want to know what you do keep this flame burning do you want to get their delightful children speak out here's the problem with letting your kids talk over you had your first onscreen kiss I'm good at kissing so and talk about fascinating wills ex-wife is also here then go inside their China Adventure next Jada pinkett-smith and their entire family plus some friends are in the house it's just one big happy family so here we go they are both big-time movie stars he's known as mr. July for raking in a kajillion dollars every summer for his blockbuster films she does it all she actually sings you can also see Jada in her series Hawthorne on TNT yeah oh yeah and together they are raising a most talented family coming out here mama and papa Smith Oh Wow look at you now this is what you want your mama to look like wow wow wow the kids are gonna be out a little later but people call the Smiths the first family of Hollywood because they do everything acting singing producing on and on was this part of a master plan you all have oh yeah yeah pretty much how we seen it but I hear that you all really do set goals that there is a marriage business plan yes you could write a book about that and help a lot of people there's a marriage business plan you know what we discover is get a two shoes hotel ready just take a shot hello oh it's great almost wore down it would have been a mess out here um but a marriage business plan you know it's like if you don't have a goal yeah you know if you don't have a purpose for your relationship and pretty much anything right if you don't have a purpose if you don't have a place that you're going something that you want to accomplish something you want to do that you can really get lost in the murk of the the journey has to be a vision for it has to be a vision right so why why are we together you know it slimy you find you find you know you know but but as an answer for why two spirits would join together and decide to travel this a perilous journey of life together fine or you can cook or you keep the house protected that's really not enough there's so much more that you have to be dedicated to Wow you know - that is so true ever so what is the bigger vision for your marriage what is the bigger well we had to figure that out because we're too big beings that came together yeah and I had my vision and he had his and so we had to join it and so we decided to just do what she say yeah sweet decided once we started to see how the children were growing and you know willow and Jaden and Trey with how they were becoming their own beings we decided okay we want to make a family business how do we incorporate all the talent that we have in this family right so that's and that's our vision to create a place where their dreams can come true and our extended family's dreams can come true as well and speaking of extended family everybody is here oh the both grandmothers are here yeah yeah Kyle for a brother we got Sheree who's Trey's mama yeah so you're on well yeah and her husband has been pastor Tyrell hello obviously obviously everybody gets along and you all made a conscious effort for that to happen especially in when there has been a previous relationship yeah and a child why did why did you make the decision we've talked about this before I think this is part yeah uh well actually Sheree and I both had to make that decision because at the end of the day we had Trey you know and that had to be the primary focus and our primary you know just what does he need and so we had to put aside our own craziness off our stuff yeah you know all the baggage that comes with it and she and I just had to focus on what does he need it was there talk about that oh we had plenty we did we did it it took it took a minute yeah but we got it and you realize we had our chance right now it's about those kids why right so did you speak to the ex-wives of America and tell them that you know we're holding on to what could have been and the thing about is the kids suffer her yes yeah and that's the end of the day it's like you have to let go of our own selfish desires right you know our own selfish needs and we have to look what what can we do to facilitate the group and what can we do to facilitate the children who ultimately there are future your future but tell me about that so you have a marriage business plan and also family meetings yeah we had a family meeting the other night yeah very interesting yes you have regular family meetings yeah here's the problem with letting your kids talk over there's a there's a there's an interesting and dangerous thing that happens from first generation to second generation when you're when you're trying to be successful in trying to make a path in the world the first generation is strictly about survival Yeah right so you lose all yeah I say so yeah you know that's what it is Scott when it when you're in a survival generation you tend to lose yeah which is how I was raised right yes yes we all were raised that way you you tend to lose the humanity and the purpose of why you're working so hard in the first place that's right and why you actually have children right absolutely I just make them do what you want him to absolutely so you know and it's like we trade with his with his football and Willow is singing and yeah Jaden acting I just want them to live in service to greatness you know I want them to live and to create in a way that when people see it people are inspired and people become better just by having contact with the things with their excellent with their excellence you know and she have to be able to define that for themselves right and that's the thing we can enlarge the world that matters the world because we might have a video what we see yeah but at the end of the day Jaden has to have his own vision willow has to have her own vision and so does Trey right you know and so we are there to help inspire and facilitate their vision because in order to reach the type of excellence in which we'll is talking about you have to reach inside yourself it's a fine bed Drive nobody can put that drive in you so you have to inspire the individual to find and focus on the goal that they want for themselves yeah do you put a lot of effort in the relation I'm in you look fantastic well let me you see who I'm married to are you looking like this at home if he came to your house are you in high heels and absolutely not I'm in black Russell sweat yeah I had so much to do but you know I think it's his treats mm-hmm I guess I don't let before net open will streets look right back that's great coming up how Will and Jada keep the marriage flames burning do you want a hit and later exclusive personal video of the Smith family's adventure in China I brought my seed I brought you you didn't bring me I passed this often of other guests because everybody is trying to have a life that's better than their parents had for them so when whether you are a movie stars like yourself or whether you are just doing better than your parents did how do you raise children who are grounded who are gracious who are giving who are solid inside themselves when they have access to everything right well you know I told the kids all the time it's like mommy and daddy are rich y'all are broke no it's like that we don't we don't allow them to kind of just sit around and we talk about the concept of the group and the necessity of you adding to the family and then you have to add to your neighborhood and then you have to add to humanity you know so there there's the the I hat of those discussions oh absolutely yeah and you know giving them purpose wrong because when a when a human being has purpose then you instill a self-esteem and when a person has self-esteem then that's what grounds it so do you all talk about for example you know two of your children have gone into this business willow and Jaden did you talk about the purpose of the business beyond the movie getting the role the acting oh yes we talked about the the idea of you create something that is illustrating some aspect of the human spirit right and it can be funny and it can be exciting it can be scary but what you're trying to do as artists and the the the purpose of art is to advance and elevate and elevate humanity you know so when you're choosing your work and you're choosing the material that you're putting into the world you have to understand that somebody else's kids are going to see that somebody's grandmother is going to see that people are going to see it and are they going to be better or worse faster they have contact with your material yeah that is the question okay so we're going to break it you talk about he gets his treats I want to know what you do to keep this flame burning as hot as it seems do you want to hit but again isn't a great room you know one of the things that I realize about will to keep it spontaneous I really surprised him because he's a thinker he's always in his hand ahead take a sip of these always you're always naked you know always think you go I just I always surprise him I always surprise him now I don't know if you want to hey get in on how I surprised oh I wouldn't mind here in one or two we like even during the day I'm I send um I might send a sexy picture of some sort mm-hmm hey mom you know to me I know what you mean specific kind of picture yeah yeah yeah yeah just a reminder there's a reminder what's waiting at what's what's to come yeah yeah you know and if he's on the set with me on Hawthorne he might take a little break I love it you want to take a break take a break what would we be most surprised to know about him what would we be most surprised to know most surprised to know about will I would say probably how sensitive years hmm he's extremely sensitive extremely sensitive and not just in like in just in feeling but just his intuition yeah you know and I think people would be very surprised at how I know people see will as being very cheery and happy and everything but he's got it one of the most beautiful most generous hearts hmm you know just how he loves people hmm you know I read this somewhere - sure sure I read that as you get older which you don't age one bed huh as you get older that you are still searching that you feel some ways you're searching for your place in the world is that true yeah I was introduced by my mother and grandmother to resurrection Baptist Church in West Philly and it was really important to serve higher goals right I just feel like all of the blessings that that I have you know with my wife and my family and extended family there is no way that God intended that just for active you know it's like I get that yeah so get that so you know and that that is a part of how I live my life too I pray to be used in service absolutely we're calling greater than my own absolutely yeah yeah yeah and so you're in that space for yourself yeah you know I just feel I'm energized every day by just what the possibilities are yeah you know and now as you know I'm 43 this year and so now and yeah you're you know 40 okay so in bringing bringing the kids up now is like oh my goodness there's a whole new burst of energy and burst of possibilities of what we can do in this world as a family uh my grandmother my grandmother she she used to smile all the time Gigi was just always happy yeah and we were actually going into Resurrection one day and I was Gigi I hope you be smiling all the time and she said cuz I know what I'm here to do baby I said well Buster she shot you I'm gonna make everything I touch better and then she said see all better we'll be right back coming up my friends embarrass me all of this the whole Smith family is here I do not expect that answer that's not in the Smith household success is truly a family affair seventeen-year-old trey is big man on campus as a varsity star football player just like her mom adorable 9 euro willow is a singer actress well I think he's kind of cute and quite the fashionista 11 year-old Jaden has grown up in front of our eyes ladies and gentlemen I'd like you to meet my C JD he's acted alongside his dad in the pursuit of happiness and mom is because of me and now he's the star of his own movie The Karate Kid your you'll de and I'm like I'm like a Jedi Will and Jada produced the movie and packed up the whole Smith family and moved to China for four months hi family hey welcome back everybody betray our first time meeting yes yes so you're the only one who's not in the family business well I'm working on producing now so you know I'm getting up there producing music and stuff like that so you know we'll see yes well are you where you just not you didn't get bit by the acting bug not really I think they're they're the professionals I feel you have no interest you have no interest not right now not right now so what do you think the best advice you heard from your parents um well recently I talked to my mom she uh I've been I've been I'm more more quiet I've been quiet but like she just you know she encouraged me like I'm getting older now so she encouraged me that you know just speak up it's like you have something to say and you know and my dad he um he were reading this book called um Rich Dad Poor Dad right and I'm just you know just that whole book I think like of him just he'd that's easy it's like he's guiding me like throughout the whole book cuz why did you want to share that book with your son um yes it's interesting that when no matter how successful you get is really difficult to shake your mindset and I I still have a poor person's mentality I can't shake it and it gets really detrimental when you can't just shake off the ideas it's like when I go to sleep at night right now I'm as financially nervous as I was 20 years ago you are absolutely really you you shall get well you promoting us no but I I don't worry I don't I'm not nervous about it I'm not nervous about it but I do understand that whole thing about spending yeah because once you have a lot of money I mean who knows what a million dollars can really do you know I know what $29.99 what what what do you do yeah yeah it's like with my kids I just don't I want I want them to be able to have a financial comprehension to not be slaves to working and money the the way that my mind has I'm breaking it now but the weight of my mind has for elastic huh that's fantastic so do you think your parents are cool or do they sometimes embarrass you Jaden hmm my parents amusing all of them I did not expect that answer when I'm at school sometimes my dad will just pull his pants down Hey well as always yeah was always playing okay look okay so this is the thing well was just a tiny bit older it was just a tiny bit older than Trey when he made this music video let's take a look at your dad at 19 just don't understand Wow like something that was a month of Sundays ago yes it was cuz you've now come full circle and you have a teenager who's almost the agent work when you do what do you know now that you wish you knew then uh well parents don't have to understand cuz they're in charge now it's like things the things that that parents understand it's so difficult because you can't communicate the things you know people have have asked me a lot are you uncomfortable putting your kids into the business huh and I'm like well no it's we worked with my father growing up in in the family business and what happens is your kids get to see you in your best light aha right then how did work work work how you interact with people how you talk how you deal with with stress how those things are where the lessons come from and then also allowing them to do it I think that's fantastic I'm looking at your hair I think that's such a cool haircut yes I think that's such a cool now now when you wanted to cut your hair like that was it this your idea to cut your hair like this yes it was okay so did you have to go to your mother or your father to be my mom your mother right mom your mom yeah that was geez is always the one is like oh yes you could do this with the starring in and then we can do the lines what's calling that in this video like yes that that's exactly what I'm happy we had to talk today I was very excited she was like mom I want to cut my hair and I said oh we're gonna have to talk to Daddy yeah this is gonna where did daddy say obviously yes well they they crept up on me with that she was already in the chair and the barber I mean it was daddy can I get my hair cut of our own ha ha it's just hair so I said listen you know let's just piecemeal it what I thought was great was that her beauty didn't depend on her hair yes you know what I me as so many of us about what she told me was I want to be free I just want to be free mommy and so I was like okay I could give you a piece of that freedom I just thought it was beautiful that she felt like she was gonna be just as beautiful without the hair and so she came back and said now I can I shave it all off would you say now that's okay I told her you know let's just I keep telling her let's just piecemeal not any let's do with you a mother I could be another side you know well the whole thing is you know she's growing it in the back but the whole thing's shaped over there yet when we come back we're gonna talk about the Karate Kid we'll be right back I'm it up I'm good at kissing this is why you need old school parents more with will Jada and the whole Smith family when we come back to prepare for his role in the Karate Kid Jayden trained three hours a day for four months learning how to punch kick and do this this remake of the classic 1984 hit was shot entirely in China from the Great Wall to Beijing's Forbidden City Jaden plays an American boy who has trouble adjusting to his new life here I wanna go this is home after becoming a target of the class bully he gets a crash course in kung-fu from a maintenance man played by Jackie Chan the only way to stop the game is to face them I won't teach you real kung foo and you all know what happens next karate Ted the karate kid opens June 11th this movie is a great family affair and I have to say you were great in it you were great in it and you know watching the movies particularly beginning of the movie I was singing oh gosh I met for the first time know what bullies feel you know when he's hiding it around the corners and trying to avoid that could feel you acted so well I could feel the tension that you must feel every time you go to school there's somebody gonna beat you up so how did this movie come about um you know I guess probably about four years ago um you know with Jaden after we did pursuit of happiness uh you know he was he was still interested and he wanted to do it he wanted to move forward and you know the Karate Kid was one of one of my favorites as a child growing up and you know we were just looking for that thing that would be perfect for that age group and his kids doing martial arts and then when the idea of Jackie Chan came up we started looking of how we could refresh the idea such a classic David and Goliath story so were you interested in karate before were you this sort of ripped guy before oh okay rip I mean really I was uh I wasn't as ripped as I am now oh I had some yeah I was like what he liked how he looked in our budget I was like that a little bit here like that oh I am little been taking karate since he was a little not like three on YouTube and YouTube so you had it you had an interest in it but how did you have to prepare for this because you know by the time you do those fight scenes you are ripped ripped and in you know powerful shape what was that training like three months before I went to China and then one month in I could already do the split in the air Wow and get your muscles there oh my gosh I could already do the split in the air and then after three months I was still training in China for four months Wow so I was you know set we did lots of training lots of different things you know those early bully scenes that I was talking about that you acted so well you've obviously never had that experience right where anybody's trying to bully you or you feel intimidated in any way had you ever experienced that before I was at all where was that coming from your ability to do that you know I could see a lot of people get bullied in something I could just feel how they felt and just understand it and once you can understand it you can be it you can be it that is called acting yes that is correct so you also i'm not giving too much away when i say that you had your first onscreen kiss yeah my first my first onscreen kiss yeah yes and was that challenging for you um I mean I'm I'm good at kissing so as challenging as it could have been the wasn't is challenging as it could have been had you not had some previous experience uh-huh yeah you know see this is why you need old school parents okay that's good show okay I'm gonna leave it right there yeah when we come back we'll see the Smith home video from China we'll be right back coming up inside the Smith family's trip of a lifetime they're coming are you here Miyagi next the Smith family is here we're here to tell you all about the Karate Kid starring James Smith what's opened June the 11th and just as we're going to break we're talking about how great everybody's done and Will and Jada said nobody's on punishment yet I said I said well I have three kids that are almost seven five and three and I wondered what punishment is in your house well you know that's one of the the really difficult struggles because we don't exactly believe in punishment per se the the idea that there are consequences I like to your your actions so will we believe in restriction that that you can have as much freedom as you can handle you can cut your hair you can bliss up on your wall you can you can have as much freedom as you can handle and as soon as you do something that is detrimental to yourself and when you can't be trusted with your freedom to then you then you have to be pull back but it's not about punishing you for what you did it's about protecting you from the potential damage that you could you could do to yourself that is good parenting that was you got to work at that I know the swingset family says they're four months in China was and you can imagine did trip of a lifetime for them we put together a little piece from some of their personal video narrated my father will look at this welcome to the land of China our home for four months Jada and I had two jobs on this trip one we're producers on the movie yeah and to the parents of the star and that meant helping him learn his lines leave back back here okay you'll see you there me channel AC runs get hot cause you know that I'm gonna go to look into spot we don't employ about six weeks into shooting the movie Jaden hurt his knee and I'd to give my little man a big pep talk I said like everybody who's great has to do what they do hurt one day for two days for a lot of days that's what separates us from other people a lot of actors would work attending was hurt my mom good it wasn't all work in China gotta make some time to relax and have some fun start the quarter blood technique you do that a quart of blood drop out a little girl body we filmed in many exotic locations I don't even know where somewhere in Beijing and we saw the very best of China I went the Forbidden City that's clearly a lot less forbidden than it was in the past that's my wife it's literally bad joint hot as hell this is with you talking back there boy hell is this hot I got the straighten up next stop the golden summit consider one of the holiest places in China so that's the tram we're about to go on one hour and 10 minutes to the top there's one down Shawn and the who've a province of China I brought my seed I brought you you didn't bring me yes I'm producing this movie you're an actor for hire JD's you're starring but I like there's a lot of little kids I could have got I picked you everybody got the crew legend has it that those who hang a lock at the golden summit will have their spirits joined together for eternity we got our locks to make our wishes huh you put it here and make a wish and it sprouts wings and goes to heaven oh you mind mother you want to give the lucky yeah I think you're kind of breaking the tradition well you can if you want to don't you wish okay all yes yes there can be hurt you hear me argue so I want I wanted to say this we said this earlier their tray is a high school football star and couldn't go on the China trip and I heard this I'm telling you the first time I heard this is brought tears to my eyes because I heard that you flew back every weekend to see your son tre play football oh yeah you think tre don't you think that is amazing that's amazing we'll be back in a moment is that amazing we come back I will burn this whole city down find out what got Jada's so fired up so Jada how did this experience with your whole family change the family or this was the first time that will and I worked so closely together um in on a in a very intense in a very intense way uh-huh and um I think we got over some humor hurdles because we're very different creatures created us and very different than how we how we live our lives you know what I mean as far as how we how we create let's just say it that way how we create uh-huh um and so I think in us doing this movie together we realize what our strengths and our weaknesses are and how in in which areas we can depend on each other yeah I know now which areas to fall back as far as wills concerned and I think he found some areas he could fall back a little bit one of ours I'm concerned one of our major issues was in my mind um I was teaching my son to hunt you know that's what we're doing right now when he's making this movie I'm teaching him out a hunt and I realized because of that I learned why in Perkin oh you know in African tribes why men would come to the village and remove their sons and will initiate sent men to manhood because as a mother it is an excruciating thing to have to watch and I'm telling you that mother instinct kicks in yes cuz I was thinking that watching when you're seeing your baby boy yeah yeah you know thrown around and the hours and I understand that they don't have the same laws over that's right or children acting and oh yeah yes it was a ferocious fight yes my god let me tell you I don't play it yes I will shut this I will burn this whole city down I was like you know my priority because you didn't cause he was working too hard well because it's a balance yes you know i under a you know I tell well listen I understand that there's certain things that you're trying to put in but at the end of the day he's 11 uh-huh you know what I mean and so you know we just had to find a nice balance we had to find a nice and I'm telling you he's a different child he really is from his experience in China also how so just in you know I had a friend over Cesar was over the other day yeah and he said look at how he's walking Oh chest up confident because when you overcome some that that type of challenge he did that right and in my mind that comes from experience yeah right baby good no no no it's good no no cuz we've week we've been having this passionate debate debate um but I feel like greatness lives on the edge of destruction and that's where that's where it is being the smile oh right greatness is on the edge of destruction so you have to almost come to the breaking point is what you're saying the reason that someone is great is because they survived death mm-hmm right that's what made you great you were almost over you that was it right huh you know when the phoenix rises from the ashes you got it do you have to almost die every time yeah have to die yeah that has the question here's the thing you you are here and people look to you because in the face of destruction you hound it on your chest and put your arms up and said I'm still standing bring it bring it bring right right right no no I get that and this right I get that radio you know so does buddy's eleven but but see 11 is where you really learn it you can't do it when somebody's 22 you know what I mean 11 is when he just learns that he doesn't break he learns he's not breakable now see you understand the debates we were had yeah also the question I get but he certainly understands the work ethic the work oh yes absolute absolutely we'll be back in a moment I can't okay so now for a special no phone zone moment wills movie seven pounds was about a man who kills seven people while texting and driving and even though this is a scene from a movie it's what happens every day we are really gonna need to stop looking at that thing is it gonna crack oh no I paid extra for the knock cracking car right that you did it anyway just turn it off no that's all right no more no more work don't work I'm almost there Will and Jada agreed to sign the pledge thank you so much you know when that movie came out I thought that that would start people thinking about it and talking about it in a different way and we've been doing this now since the beginning of January trying to get people more conscious of what it means when you drive and you text while you're driving and aware of the lives that have been lost because of it so thank you for signing all right I'm at my attorney look this over remember well it's only three statements on okay your only three seasons Thank You Smith Smith family thank you all Thanks we got something for you we got for you we got something for you we got just a little a little gift from the family just a little song Thank You Smith family like oh there you go said that's great The Karate Kid starring Jaden Smith and Jackie Chan open to take your entire family the entire family will love this rhythm go see a fiery buddy you

Channel: Oliver Rivers

Views: 2,608,438

Rating: 4.8049541 out of 5

Keywords: Oprah Winfrey (Author), Jada Pinkett Smith (Theater Producer), Will Smith (Musical Artist)

Id: 9Z3gimzXEts

Length: 41min 52sec (2512 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 23 2013