Jenifer Lewis Shares Her Journey & talks Donald trump on Hollywood Unlocked [UNCENSORED]

hi I'm Jennifer Lewis and I just did an interview with Hollywood unlocked it was fabulous listen I gave y'all everything go get the book I didn't write this book to make money I wrote it for you no no I got money but don't ask me for none thank you what up everybody this is Jason Lee and this is Hollywood unlocked uncensored and I'm Melyssa Ford aka the curved Queen boy Giovanni okay we've had a lot of people in here but we keep we got an icon you know that so okay one day I was talking online about feeling like I was battling depression and you know in the black community you start talking about you fill in a certain way people start to look at you crazy but still on this show you got living your truth so I was talking about it and then ended up on the phone with Julia and we were talking about your book got a copy of your book started reading it usually I read a chapter put it down because I don't like to read the mother Blackhall the way [Music] we're gonna talk about it all day so I'm reading this book and I started to develop so many parallels to your story it was crazy yeah I've seen you for years on television and film and have fallen in love with you as an actress to become a fan but to read the book it's just like it's so relatable to my story I'm just like it was really it was a roller coaster of emotions reading this book yeah it was relatable to all of us though I mean I'm just like Jason I've been a fan of yours for many many many years I told our audience I'm going to fan out because I can't believe that she's actually here okay she has been my auntie in my home for a decade it's like at least 20 years and when I read the book it was I mean there's there's a lot of heartbreaking stuff in there you know and there were so many parallels that I felt as a woman in the entertainment business the things that you felt the things that you experienced I mean I you know I don't want to you know get ahead of myself because we're gonna talk a lot about your book but it's just it's such a pleasure to have you here and have you just still standing and strong as you fire and not hinder to us well I'm not gonna lie don't get mad at me I'm having ready chat but I'm gonna go read it cuz I'm hearing just amazing things about that's good he actually represents that he represents the audience that is going to go get this yes of course I have to because you're really good friends with my cousin Oh Chester Gregory I will do speaking of Gregory I did not just lots of sex in this book Johnny Jim Tom Dick and Jerry yeah okay so I always joke on this show that uh I'm on my ho but in a joking way I'm saying and I read this book and yet what I love about you is just the sexual fluidity that you had over the years and being so open about it absolutely let me tell you guys something I said this on the view ain't no shame in my game you know ah was bipolar and didn't know it mm-hmm and thank God I didn't do hard drugs gone the Arctic honey when I finally accepted that I was bipolar and went into therapy my first thing my shrink said was honey I don't know how you our lives that Rachel Rachel anything like she's my best friend no H Oh Rachel don't play young Oh Rachel oh honey I called Rachel from 3 a.m. in LA [ __ ] [ __ ] you [ __ ] your Bible Lance but listen I came to I can't guys I didn't know I was bipolar you know when I was a little girl it was you know here comes crazy Jenny mm-hmm and I was happy to have a word before my name you know I'm crazy I'm crazy Jenny and it didn't do anything to me I always made people laugh I would enter entertaining here's how it started okay five years old I sang my first solo in church the reaction of the congregation was like a tsunami of love that came and washed over my little body and I stood there with my thumb in my mouth thinking oh this is life and I never looked back mmm I was an entertainer f5o standing up and swimming this wasn't a shouting Church you know but people were up and screaming I said my mother that I crying you know it was amazing it was an amazing moment so and then I discovered with the mania from the bipolar disorder I became an alpha wolf how was the leader I was never a follower I let the kids in the neighborhood I could lead them straight to hell they'd go and they'd follow my crazy ass cuz I was loud you know that's part of the mania being loud and over-the-top I've always been like this sounds like me and then let me get to the UM then I went on into Carl high school captain of the cheerleading squad president of my class a leader a board leader took on off to college rules the theater department you know they used to have a cardboard that's it who got the show and who didn't and all the kids would be all you know crowded around where they knew when the list was gonna go up I just passed my I knew my name was up there [ __ ] know they gonna put me into play and they did and that that rush power of my dream that focused that determination nothing was gonna stop me nothing it was that the start of the illness though it was that a part half the illnesses burst but we didn't know it you know what kids run around acting a damn fool I just happened to be you know but I what was wonderful about my life is yeah I was over-the-top and crazy but I was smart mmm-hmm and I had common sense I was a natural I knew I was special I used to try not to use that word to make myself better than anybody else of course I grew up and learned that we're all God's baby babies and nobody is better or worse than the other mm-hmm but when I was a kid [ __ ] how the Queen I rolled you know if the aliens had landed they would have come to me [ __ ] you are the leader and we talk to you and it's back in st. Louis Missouri st. Louis a little small town called kinloch Missouri that's right mm-hmm poverty stricken area population 3,000 all black but self governed hmm these people were you know they came to slay mm-hmm librarian was black policeman apartment was black these were my uncles and aunts and you know Miss Jones on the porch saying look Jenny sit your ass down somewhere you know grandma's hands know isn't it crazy how we've gotten away from community though like we don't have don't start me cuz I was at Target the other day I see some of these kids I'm like everybody in this door would've up Joe a swagger uh listen y'all here's what happened you know the kids got on those all the technology kind of took family structure and social skills these kids don't even know how to julienne my manager and I were in Seattle sitting in the restaurant we heard this cheering from a ballroom and then we saw these young men 25 to maybe know 18 to 30 and we said what's going on in there and it was like a session for boy men these young men to learn how to talk to a girl hmm because they had been sitting there with the videogames all their lives and they'd sit now on the computer on all their lives looking at porn you know and and selfies and you know and this oh my god they didn't even know how to talk to a girl mm-hmm so that's what it's come to and let alone sit around a dinner table and you shop in that seminar you know I'm so well that's true and this is what I love about your book because for me I'm I'm at the process of starting my journey of discovery myself because I feel like with social media I had to unfollow everybody because it was making me crazy yeah I felt like the the keeping up with everything and trying to find everything I had to literally just don't do it get away don't do it don't do it you will destroy your life being addicted to these things you know the addictions are the same you know people it's all my babies all of your just my babies I wish I could give you the recipe it's no recipe just a feeling good yeah it's staying out of trouble and doing what you know you're supposed to do and giving back to the next generation and getting out there and marching reading a book self-care taking care of yourself that's what I wish I could give you guys you get up and you put love in front of you before you leave your house you don't get to go out in traffic and cut some people out and flip them off because they cut you off you know how I got rid of road rage you want to know no I was in the car with a good friend of mine who was a social worker a lot of compassion for young children and I was cussing she said hey Jennifer I was like what you see that you know [ __ ] she said Jennifer what if that person's mother just died and it's a little shaky oh no perspective and did you realize in that moment that we don't consider the other place don't even think about the other person you must because I'm gonna tell you something honey Oh sookie sookie we are all one and I never thought I'd be quoting my baby RuPaul I saw him being interviewed by Oprah and he said it another way who where one person little cells of God running around creating that home that makes a tree that was another way to look at it but then I when I went down to the spa you know where they put wheatgrass um yeah and you know get real intimate with the anal wheatgrass wheat grass everywhere was detox and I was like oh y'all don't put that [ __ ] in my eyes they did they said they baptize me wheatgrass look at me but why was I want to get that down and you ain't 61 tell me well yeah I am six you want 61 but wait a minute what's going to wear RuPaul was talking about yes yes I'm standing next to a woman down at the spine you know it's all spiritual I know no you know that needs muhfuckas a crazy but it does help you know do you think this woman said it another way we were in conversation and I said something about all we have is the moment hmm and that [ __ ] said no all we have is the breath the breath the breath we take breathing for great well yes y'all better wake up to what this [ __ ] is you better you better enjoy your youth and be nice to somebody I jumped out of a taxi in Chicago so this old african-american woman carrying these heavy ass bags and I couldn't take it yet those elephant legs I wasn't that's a pullover hmm I got out just let me help you with that so where you going she said I'm going about two blocks I'll put her asking that taxi I've caught another one hmm [ __ ] like that nun that's just not that's not saying I'm special that's not saying I'm it's just being the moment of life and be kind and be nice I wasn't always like this hmm Shh not so rageful when I wasn't treated I spent 17 years in therapy twice a week because I went in as an infant my mother didn't have time to raise me I'm the baby of seven so speaking about you at five years old in a lot was going on in the church you talk very openly well I was molested by the past of my church oh wait a minute let me just say this it's on the internet that he raped me he did not rape me read the book y'all and don't start [ __ ] you know I'm Jennifer Lewis don't [ __ ] put no [ __ ] out there about me because it ain't no [ __ ] you want some [ __ ] on me you read the book all my shits in there it is written in her voice beautiful exactly how she's speaking right now I just tell you I'm on the plane reading it yes in her voice the entire y'all the [ __ ] ain't number $15 go to Amazon and get the damn book but here's the thing and this is what you better know I didn't write this book to make money y'all know ho ho ho I got money and when you come from poverty I've done what let's lay this [ __ ] on the line I've done 68 movies 392 episodic television shows for Broadway shows and toured and concert all over the world don't [ __ ] with me as my wingman the thing is is when you come from poverty you know to save yo [ __ ] hmm I wasn't frivolous with money now that con artist came into my life oh that's something [ __ ] got 50 grand for me y'all I wasn't paying attention that [ __ ] let me just get his name on the record Toni Mary I'll be aware of that [ __ ] in Oh y'all he was masterful hey but I was it let me get to it I was in the middle of getting an honorary doctorate degree I was writing a commencement speech to send kids out into the world you know how important that was for me and my alma mater Webster University ten thousand people were in that audience that day I had something to do I wasn't paying attention so much somebody been to Oxford when that son of a [ __ ] was in prison girl I wouldn't pay attention I was getting the horn on his lips [ __ ] I was getting the C from the Midwest boy you could listen I was getting the Lifetime Achievement Award from the American Black Film Festival I was on a hit show and [ __ ] I went panel did you know man Oh pay attention attention our audience right now is saying she's the only guest that jason has never interrupted go back to the five yo so I was molested at seven years old damn and I remember [ __ ] you know I wish I could shoot a [ __ ] sometimes when I was reading your book and how you told your mom and she didn't believe you no oh get it right she believed oh she put she put the pastor on the phone with her tried to put her but she didn't I didn't let me tell that story those are delicate things you don't throw that [ __ ] around yes I told her hmm but you see back then there was no Oprah Winfrey mmm-hmm there was nobody telling these women were scrubbing white people's floors and you know I'm gonna say this out loud Jesus who is most black woman's husband mmm y'all better come with me here say that again I'm here Jesus is most black women's husbands you see they did a number on us we are a conquered race they put the black man out of the house in order for the warmth of the black mother to get welfare the man couldn't be in the house he had to be working of course they wouldn't give him a job y'all better come with me we come from some [ __ ] oh we had a black president for eight years didn't we that [ __ ] will never wipe that [ __ ] out I'm writing a song right now it says you can tear a sweat Obama did cuz he live with me so anyway so you told your mom I told my mom I love this came in the house and I told my momma I was surprised that son of a [ __ ] came for me what he did was you know how churches visit each other the guire let me give you all the stories don't get it twisted and I got to ride with the pastor I was so happy mm-hmm there's a privilege yeah what's a pastor hmm I'm sitting in the front seat he's driving ooh I haven't told this in a long time they wit me now stay with me we're so you ride along and you know I've always wanted to be in show me now it's one to be stuck so I asked him I said hey pastor hurt do you think I can be a star he pulls over he leans over to me ooh he tries to kiss me and I grind my teeth tight yeah I can't the smell of him I can still uh-huh and then he felt I could feel his hand on my breast look at me we live in this [ __ ] sit still a boy I only know pitch I ain't crying [ __ ] that [ __ ] I got through this [ __ ] I worked through this year but that was sweet thank you over 60 we can have [ __ ] moving and go across this [ __ ] I'll say kill that [ __ ] now listen so let me get through this so he tried to kiss me and track and he felt my titty yeah and he saw that that [ __ ] wasn't gonna happen with me cuz I clenched up and then he leaned back over started the car kept driving didn't say a word so when we exited the freeway oh and I'm holding that [ __ ] in my mouth all I want to do is spit and when we exited the freeway I opened the door to spit out I'm he thought I was jumping so he grabbed my arm but we were so we were taught to respect these two I mean to revere these [ __ ] these nasty [ __ ] that stand in the pulpit and call you a [ __ ] because you had sex outside of marriage these [ __ ] that put on robes and ribbons and [ __ ] and sweat for an hour in front of you in these churches I'm not talking about the ones that are wonderful I'm talking about the [ __ ] the con artists hypocrites the pedophiles y'all be careful of that [ __ ] nobody is better than you all worse we are one standing up date you and your [ __ ] if you all that [ __ ] that week what does it tell them so anyway you told you so I went in the house told my mother now my mother was in love with this man you got to understand okay and a lot of women in the churches all day all in love with the pastor so I said mama pastor her tried to kiss me ooh these words y'all getting an interview I haven't told this I haven't told this like this I wrote it down in a book but I haven't told it out loud in detail like this but we've all had this experience most of us or somebody one having the expert on out of three my daughter's mother come on Jason yeah she wrote a book about herself come on now and write it write your story and tell everybody tell on him tell tell tell so my mother of course she didn't know what to do with it [ __ ] what's she gonna do with it how much therapy she had she's scrubbing white people's toilets y'all better come on now so when she gave me the phone and said tell him what you told me I was like in shock and she took the phone from me and went into a bedroom able it's never discussed again seeing that's what I got from the book cuz when I told my mother she took me to the police department and said tell them damn but she didn't believe me oh come on jeez no she did it cuz she said to me what was it what would that happen to you Wow what's your religious woman she was bipolar come on geez yeah she had been molested by her father Oh Oh my mother had abuse by her mom sexually abused by her father so she had stuff but it was well a lot of what I was reading in your letter to your mother and like when I read that because as my mother was passing you know it it took a lot of conscious effort and energy to forgive her for all the [ __ ] that I didn't want to because yes you don't want to forgive nobody no you know what you wrote your letter out which reading that letter was so yes it's empowering for people who let me just finish this one time when my mother died I remember she used to always say through the years I'm doing the best that I can come on for me I felt like that's not enough come on but on top of the mental illness she was the heroine at it she come on wasn't until she was about to die that it hit me you're doing the best that you can come on get ain't the best that I would do it ain't the best that you shouldn't try but it's the you're telling me you can't do no better than that so I had to learn immediately as she was literally a couple days from dying to forgive her to accept it really consciously accept it and give it to her so she literally died right after we did it after all three of her kids forgave her she died Wow so reading your letter was just like if anybody don't buy the book just to read that letter cuz there are people living I lived with resentment for decades it was until that one day that I let it all go it chips away at you yes it does so when I was talking about in the radio and then Julia who you mentioned your book saved your life reached out and we start talking it was like there is the energy that was everything together the way it's supposed to oh and I'm gonna yell it for the rest of my life one tale let's put the letter in to cut into context it was written to save what maybe 30 I was 33 I believe when I wrote that letter to your mother yes I had been in therapy I think two years and then we started the process of writing letters whether you mail them or not but writing this letter and getting it out of you journal everybody that's looking at this get you a journal and write don't do this [ __ ] on the computer hand to paper get those feelings out of you so you don't blow up and become passive-aggressive and don't communicate I just had this a conversation with an ex meth addict this morning you know I'm trying to help him and I told him I said you've got to communicate don't tell me you're gonna be here to in and show up at 11:30 little boy hmm I [ __ ] the down no I had to hold him and scold them and fold em you see what happens nobody go what baby go he's gonna wonder what happened with the with the pastor because you ended up talking to him on the phone oh well no chapter in the mother black Hollywood which is my book it's only $15 oh I always I love to just do it look at that Oh give me once I can puppeteer back so anyway what was I saying oh yes the chapter in my book about the molestation is titled it ain't that kind of call [ __ ] because when I called him it was like Hello Jennifer like nothing ever had like nothing never [ __ ] happened and see wait a minute how many years later was this free brick yeah about 20 but I want you to bring me back to this let me go somewhere else first god damn I forgot where I was going hold on this is when I made the call [Music] anyway so damn it I wish I could feel that blinkin anyway so I called him I got drunk I had to get drunk this was a man once again you got to understand from 9 years old to when I left for college you know he was the pastor of the church I had pushed that [ __ ] down I had to push it down oh I know what I was gonna say so bring me back to this ok you got to understand and hear this loud and clear remember I had asked him if I could be a star mm-hmm so in that moment in less than mmm I would say seven seconds with this son of a [ __ ] trying to put his tongue in my mouth he not only took my career you see cuz he was telling me making me a [ __ ] ask him if I could be a star he took God from me that day because he come on he was the man of God whoa and he took mom mother took all three of them in seven [ __ ] seconds I've never put it in those words like that he took all that from me and seven [ __ ] second say it again Jenny guess the [ __ ] I'm here ain't I mm-hmm I came through that fire baby don't [ __ ] with me I got up I didn't I became a star anyway despite them all despite it all but let me tell you when I became a star when I see this is so good when you become wise you all right baby when you become wise you understand that the day I became a star was when I realized everybody was one see I ain't the only star I know what a star is now a star as a person that cares that shines their light bright so when they walk in a room everybody's drawn to the joy that's what a light is somebody that's not gossiping and talking negative about somebody that's the star somebody who cares about children yeah somebody that a climb a mountain and stand up there at the top and say here am I send me I used to say that all the time I know what's inside of me it's been boiling in me since I was a child I'm just glad that I went and took care of myself in therapy and yes I'm medicated also I take two little pills every morning of my life and if I don't take them my role of it don't roll up on this counter watch the Larry King interview love with me I love how you what I love about even in this interview you're so in yourself you're so in it that you're not going to let a millisecond pass if it ain't right because even when Larry tried to give you that uh-huh I'm saying I said I said don't you are harm me Larry I know exactly what I wanna say and you know what it what felt good about sitting across from Larry King I was unafraid of his opinion you're clearly artists and I was unafraid of my own what did the Kirk's come from though cuz if you read your book you've been I wait you've lived so many lives I can I can I ask you if this yes maybe was it when you spoke to Shirley MacLaine was that the moment that you realized I don't give up anybody's got to say about me yeah I did now I gotta tell you it wasn't only shirley shirley maclaine was it was definitely one of my mentor actually cry don't still magnolias when I was a kid Bible ain't this a secret don't tell nobody in but in terms of your journey through spirituality and and then yeah I really had the pair well Shirley MacLaine came backstage at one of my one-woman shows and she said that was the best show I've seen ever and I was I'm thinking Sinatra you know Judy Sammy Davis jr. and then I looked at her and she she looked at me and she said ever I was like wow damn but y'all I'm gonna be honest with y'all I've always known I love it God gave me so much I was born with it reborn but I had but I had the courage and the strength to honor the gift we're happy he gave it to you we really well she I called up all God she see but confidence like cop when you're five singing and you got everybody stood up where did because the confidence is we interview a lot of people nobody asked me that at one of my book signings I couldn't answer it I couldn't I couldn't marry mommy I don't remember not being UC and let me explain it it was the mania take that in y'all mania it it encompasses omnipotence mm-hmm it encompasses grandiosity this mm-hmm okay I'm gonna give it to you you refer to Trump as heaven mania and with Larry King Oh Trump later that [ __ ] that [ __ ] we don't need to go into that we all know the story all I want to say about Trump is don't stay in that [ __ ] all day don't don't worry about that that's gonna pass everything is temporary including him including this administration this [ __ ] is temporary even if they get back in it's temporary don't you be scared of this [ __ ] you be armed and armed in knowing who you are so when some [ __ ] comes to your door and it's coming that may be opened this door picked up the package and blew up some shits coming hmm come here now oh yeah baby do you want me to bring you back bring me back always bring me back I got so much [ __ ] going on so we're gonna bring you back to the pastor we're gonna bring you back to the moment that you that you talk to him after yeah years later and he's - yes nothing yes and and you were like it's not that kind of call yes yes yes and I he said Oh Jennifer this is this is 20 years later so I get drunk because it's one of the hardest things I have to do which is to call this man confront him about that molestation so it's one that the violation I'm I'm like with her because I'm thirty and something in their early 30s and he picks up the phone and I said it's Jennifer and he goes hello Jennifer we're so practiced I've done like fresh prints and a few other things by that time we're so happy you're on television and I said it ain't that kind of call [ __ ] baby I got that [ __ ] felt so good cussing the pastor but I wasn't cussing - passed out that son of a [ __ ] wasn't a passed me was a freak he was a sociopath most of them are cause they don't feel [ __ ] sociopaths don't feel it's Trump [ __ ] you don't feel she don't give a [ __ ] about us don't care about us don't care about people I just heard it from the from the horse's mouth somebody that's right in the white house I talked to you want to know what they said Satan is jealous of Trump well why so evil that [ __ ] is come on y'all he don't care nothin about money but then you love that interview with stormy [Music] green orange [ __ ] spank your ass which is all you want your freak [ __ ] and I love them she went back she said that stupid [ __ ] was sitting up watching shark tank before [ __ ] out she said she got a purse got stuck out she said you get me on apprentice you limp dick [ __ ] okay let me study was I don't hate that man I don't I don't feel bad for I do he's so he's so sad some bitchin obtained eating McDonald's and watching TV in it but [ __ ] guys the bleeder the free [ __ ] world it son of a [ __ ] and then to follow me Obama what I've seen with the Obamas I watched the Obama that when B et did that special for them is David leaving the White House and I'm like that's the same house occupy right now by him I don't understand oh what we did it yeah oh honey don't you dare beat him up too much we put him in there yeah sitting up here we are a nation in peace no bombs going off anywhere and that's all we do is sit up and watch the world being destroyed you sons it is our consciousness that is put Lex Luthor in the White House and so what do we think was gonna happen sitting up watching all that violence and sex and drugs and then that and that's what our kids have turned and speaking of kids you were just in DC yes and you and your the thing about you even though you I can't believe I have to admit something I did not know your career went back as far as it has in not even just because I know you from you know Fresh Prince of bel-air mm-hmm we talked about white people [ __ ] oh yeah real white people did not what do you mean my Broadway and cabaret like about the relationship a bit because y'all two earlier yeah you know I gotta tell you I have been lazy with the Molina's all even though your career spanned all these years you're in touch with everybody that's living right now I feel like even with the Millennials and being in touch with what's happening in DC and understand the importance of not only supporting it by Twitter but actually physically being there you know she is she's hip I was like you're right I'm in the backyard no you know what I am guys besides a mother black Hollywood I love people I've learned to love myself you [ __ ] statement let him give me an Oscar Emmy Grammy and Tony you got yeah they didn't give me that but the beauty is that I see it on my mantle anyway I've got an electrifying standing ovation at Carnegie Hall that's my Tony my Emmy is black my Oscar is Jackie's back what's the other one my Grammy is the audible of this [ __ ] read the [ __ ] out of this book ladies and gentlemen I make ya'll laugh cry think [ __ ] read eat whatever call up there you know yeah get in therapy take care of yourself take medication if you have to find a career listen hey Porto Rican in these street light to you oh my god I went out with a 25 year old in two days ago I did nothing happen you know I won't touch that boy honey look but it was sweet to be out with somebody that was he was so cute I can help myself he's down at the spa yes but I didn't touch it I didn't touch hmm when I tell you this I'm not gonna I'm not gonna you know look honey I'm [ __ ] up my life with no child don't give away all the details people Dean to read this book and I'm not and I'm not just saying this because she's sitting here cuz we've talked about this book on so many shows the relationship with that Puerto Rican oh no he was Spanish and I would tell you I'm not gonna say the way it ends but I I could have do the book out the window cuz I was in that relationship with job that was so sweet he was a sweetest man you know I've never been married I've been engaged four times and I never walked down the aisle because it turned out that they were just little boys you know one was a mama's boy the other one turned mean no he wasn't abusive to me he was just negative you know I would be well here we are in the s550 you know I live cha I enjoy my success you know I'm laid-back you know the big house because all I want it so I got it you dream it you can get it so I got it but anyway so here we are we're both young he's beautiful he's handsome I'm cute no I'm cute rich famous [ __ ] I love anyway so we all of that black couple you know I'm a black man but anyway so listen to me here's the example of some [ __ ] you got to get out of your life now enjoy y'all looking at me loves life I love trees I can name every tree out there every flower every blade of grass a big grain of fan I love life I love this planet I was gonna pay to go to space just so I can look down on this [ __ ] I love being alive when you spend 33 years under the covers and darkroom you don't [ __ ] around when you get free you live ah God you live now what the [ __ ] would keep me on track okay go back to the [ __ ] Dominican better mannequin that love affair was everything but what we're not going god damn I wish I could remember where I was going Joe Wellman I go you had multiple relationships even the bouncer Oh tell you about the the guys I didn't married what was a mama's boy Oh the mean I was gonna tell you I was mean and go back to the love us to the fiance's okay here's the example of why I had to get rid of him we're driving on the car driving on bit car life is great and I come up on a an Australian tree that I know is extinct but in it but blue blues pink and a [ __ ] pink tree hoppin acknowledge it so we're driving and I go ah ah that's a pretty tree him you say that about every tree I was like one [ __ ] you gotta go [ __ ] is wrong I'm sorry don't them [ __ ] help us breathe wait but this wasn't was this the one you were on the vacation wouldn't realize you needed to get away for like y'all need to know that was another one that hominid what no okay that was um Jennifer lived her pants Terence yeah he said I could use his name I didn't want to say his name cuz I called all of them and asked me and asked them if they wanted me to use their real name okay so then can I ask you this I'm gonna bring you back come on bring me back pastor pastor has to hurt because you're having the conversation with him it's not that call kind of call [ __ ] and you address yes what he I asked him I said why did you do that to me mm-hmm silence once again the answer was screaming here why the [ __ ] did you do that to me what was his answer his answer was I wanted you to know what to expect in entertainment or Holi yeah how about that sick ass my quest her [ __ ] [Music] and I also told him that if he hung up the phone I would fly back to st. Louis and blow that little stupid-ass storefront Church they always just grab [ __ ] you know that ain't got [ __ ] just scraping the bottom of of poverty-stricken communities trying to find a congregation so they can be held there's something great and something better than you [ __ ] you gonna know more about God than I do am I not his child I have a two-part question of listening cuz you were just talking about being able to name names in the book mm-hmm has there any been has there been any more accusations leveled against pastor heard oh no don't make us dead girl that muhfucka gone but did anybody come forward oh yeah I know a lot of people that he molested Wow Wow cousins of mine they don't stop with just you they go for your mother your brother your sister your cards and your everything hmm these are monsters these are dangerous men who would finger a child who would rape a little boy and tell them he's gonna kill his daddy if he tells them these men are dangerous these are these are predators these are little little evil things running around on the planet I'm gonna tell y'all something I thought I could figure everything out but I didn't know true evil I guess I couldn't say pastor Hurd was evil because I had been held that he would represent it loved so much I didn't couldn't get my mind wrapped around that at that time of course now I know but I'll tell you what really what wiped me out was the betrayal of the con artist god damn I never thought anything that evil could touch me but ladies and gentlemen it did so pay attention so wait can I because he's a bit so the other thing in because one thing you'll know about our show if you ever watch it if we do jump around cuz we that's okay good and there's so much to talk about and one another parallel that we have I'll just just to bring it up just a little bit was I was on my way to Hawaii with the date who shall remain nameless and so on the plane I'm reading your book and I'm like wow she went on vacation was thinking of quitting the industry went out and did you ask God or you ask the universe for the sign the that you needed that opportunity you needed that thing you're on a cruise you're on the cruise oh yes yes the universe I Karen you want me to tell you who I asked yes yes hmm I'm believing the elements how do you yes I believe in energies darling I believe in the frequency of love now if you want to call it God you see God the name the word God has been so abused I try not to use it because it means do you understand that God means something different everybody yes we can talk we can saying God but still everybody had somebody season has a pillsbury I used to see him as a little girl has the Pillsbury Dough Boy up in the sky hmm you know but now I see God and everything and my girlfriend and I were we know we were in the hot tub one night and we were talking and she said something about God and I turned out to you I'm sick of that word she said what Jennifer you know that's why she's my friend no I'm all dramatic and [ __ ] she said well Jennifer what word would you prefer and without pause I hesitation I said how about you yes just yes yes yes I will yes I will take on the challenge yes I will climb this mountain yes I will reach back for a friend yes I will reach forward for help I'm gonna ask for help look in the mirror ask yourself is something wrong I didn't wanna give y'all something I dare you to get up tomorrow morning and look in the mirror look in your own eyes and say I love myself and stand there and say it over and over and over until you mean it let the tears fall I dare you to do it I'm gonna go back to the vacation because you know what I was telling somebody I was interviewing you this week and I said you know I think that the connection I mean of course of a van for work but a connection a personal level is her story of bipolar me discovering this whole depression thing and she said what are you thankful for and we just be driving in the hills Holly we're trying to figure out not how not to fall off the hill and she says what do you think for for it and I'm like well I'm thankful for my company I'm thinking this she doesn't know what are you thankful for in life it was really uncomfortable to have that conversation on my way so I said you know tonight's just I don't want to talk about there and I need to get home I got it so she called me the next day she said you woke up this morning what are the three things you're thankful for and I lashed out at her mm-hmm no because it was uncomfortable to think about because on the exterior people will look at me and go yeah your partners will Floyd Mayweather you're on this show you're doing this you got your company there but I said hi I like Floyd huffily I will I will but then you still got to go home and you got to shut the door by yourself somebody you still in your own soul and in your own head and in your own mind children but I started listening to you and you weren't on that vacation and you went out there and you say it whoever you were talking to to send you their side of it you can say god but you came back in you and then you get you discover you got black-ish yes I was on vacation the mother [ __ ] went to sleep I says I walked out on my little balcony in Waikiki and I said [ __ ] I ain't going back to Love & Hip Hop talking to God what am I gonna go back on what's gonna happen so I had interviewed Nick Cannon I tell him send me the sign I did the whole u thing in the Oprah with the wallet purple thing where she did the same and literally when I got back and landed Nick Cannon called said you ready for a while there now now I'm not a comedian rapper dancer singer none of that I said yes cuz that was the sign I had asked for and I went there and killed it but what I loved about this story was that you believe in something bigger than you I do but you know oh y'all this is too deep I can't bring y'all in today you have to please please I just feel like there's somebody that's gonna be healed by this conversation oh jesus okay I'm gonna tell you then here's what people don't want to acknowledge the same God if we say that that God sent me blackish then that same God sent me the con-artist that's deep y'all a lemonade on that I'm gonna baby you can't oh it's too deep y'all we got our scuba gear you can't say you created one thing and didn't create the other there ain't no rock to hide and there are no shortcuts to greatness hmm it's nobody else's fault what was your part in it hmm there's a thing called borderline personality disorder where everybody blames everybody else for their [ __ ] well this didn't happen in determine look in the mirror kids what did you do well how did you react to the situation [Music] how are you defined in this moment I want to know what you did or what you gonna do what are you doing what are you doing I love a young journalist asked me she said miss loss did I hear you say I was Alister in an interview I was going on and on about myself a host of my favorite subject is that miss Lewis did I hear you say at one point you touched bliss listening I said yes baby I have touched bliss now how many [ __ ] you know use the word yes come on I dare you to name me somebody who said the way okay let me tell you what she said I have a good massage therapist I got a spa day for you were you ready oh honey you go you go okay good I'm gonna take you up on it serious cuz I got a guy that will spend five minutes on a tow oh this guy and this guy from at oh yeah was blind but he finds every spot that I'm tell he's flying blind okay no it's the mail app a a blind Filipino you love yeah you send him to the house now I was on that story I bliss interviewer she said miss Lewis didn't you say you touch bliss I said yes baby I did she said please tell me how you did that you know young millennial I said well since you were listening I'll tell you how it happened it happened the day that I looked in the mirror and took responsibility for every choice I had me was gonna make and was making it that second my friends there's nowhere to run I've got money I can go anywhere in the world but when I get there I'm gonna meet myself there's nowhere to run miss Lewis whenever I'm entering you know some young person mm-hmm they're just kind of going through it and they want to do the blame game my favorite thing to say and this is why I feel such a kinship to you because you know in your chapter we'll get to this but dismissing the diva your voice changed as you were writing it changed mm-hmm so I'll get back to that but it's as I always say how were you a contributing factor in your own misery oh you can borrow how are you a contributing factor in your own misery oh honey that's easy when we are not loved when you've been abused all you want to do it's abuse oh no honey I've been trying I was trying to kill myself for 33 years and after the con artists and this is the first time I'm gonna admit this cuz I had a little breakdown yesterday hmm come on Jenny tell the truth give it to them I told my manager yesterday I said I've been trying to kill myself for two years because I started smoking when my mother died you can't smoke Louis you can't do that dumb [ __ ] when you got skin like this and a voice like that but see when the con artist came I felt abandoned by God you mm-hmm sounds like [ __ ] you I'm doing a goddamn thing I want nine no food I wasn't gonna hurt myself hmm but I want to I want to make a point yeah how dare you send me up what I went down to the beach I mean what the [ __ ] now on the day my mother died you send a con artist what's that what do you want from me in a way it came up I went don't touch me [ __ ] oh honey I cussed out the Pacific Ocean my egos to their mother Eagles big as the ocean and the so I hurt so so much so don't think so much of yourself that ain't [ __ ] gonna happen to you the shit's come and I told you when I started this interview life's coming yeah you better be ready when that phone call comes honey you better know who you are I didn't even have time to mourn my mother Toni Marriott is his name I'm serious putting that [ __ ] on blast this is putting rolling the [ __ ] up on me I didn't even think anything like that could happen to me oh yes it can it can happen to you and after all you sons of [ __ ] on the Internet but I gotta tell you my favorite comment buddy loves you on the Internet I know but that's coupled I try to get me and then you know those are the ones we pay attention to like a fool Oh Mitch Lewis you've been victimized slang when people say things like oh oh I can't even think of them but they're so funny when y'all chop [ __ ] up and make it your home mama you're like a meme right yeah it's also funny but and then somebody said oh when I made something like oh oh red lips for my book when I did the D challenge that body said when I said titties and hips for my book oh wait a minute cleaned it up on the view because you're not watched you believed read the book she were honest she knows how to adapt to her I know I can I can watching you on the view like you Whoopi have a long relationship like look what people's like that was not be what she said you know I bust never over with where's the piano so how did that come about did you just see that and when Barbara said I can use this to utilize to promote my book but it's money tell you know ahead I hid for 12 hours on blackish I came home DJ's drag queen ass was in my kitchen with another trash I need shangela who would be at my house but to drag queen that's when I get home hey DJ did one shangela did one for the chicken yeah so he had the music right there and the little drag queen I call mice Mouse he look like a little mouse he always so gay he came to my battle staircase yes I have one and he said Oh miss Lewis does he's saying it why don't you do one for the book that's a little boy I'm going to bed and he said Oh miss Lewis [Music] somebody so I came on back down I said alright and they showed me Erykah Badu and I said ok I'll make it a little nasty but I ain't gonna be too nasty mm-hmm and then I looked over I said hand me that plate in that pig don't ask me why I'm an artist you just start to create and I just started rapping it was so cute and that's why I said these fools told me to rap for my book come on y'all put my book so you freestyle what you say next [Music] now you vote for my book yeah you [ __ ] better run for my book and a pig cuz my book gonna be me my book gonna be big and then you mean it went from your video to house full of people video and everybody's how something in kitty man you ain't brandy please just do album everybody wants us to do an album Brett I love brandy we have so much fun when she comes over oh my god the things she says I want to know not to cut you up yeah the real quick them because the brandy video what's the what's the new hole that cuz I'm waiting Rosalind the one brandy video don't I'll put that on my own personal page that's what I was gonna ask I want to know how did that happen okay well brandy and Roz Ryan Roz Ryan is a thespian not lesbian thesbian that means she's a veteran of the theater so Roz Ryan it's a good friend of mine and Brandi came over to the house no they were doing is that y'all got more [ __ ] going on in the studio listen so I went to see the musical Chicago where brandi was Roxy and Roswell's mama so I went backstage you know big movie star and she and everybody knows his hair I was like Oh [ __ ] please but anyway but bow down no I'm get it so I went back in the dressing room and I told them you know when people are on the road we call them gypsies you know they want a home-cooked meal so I said to them I said to Brandi and Roz I said y'all come on over to the house for dinner I didn't mean and now I'm kidding Roz made a beautiful piece of salmon that night and we had dinner and Roz was sitting there with all these diamonds [ __ ] in her ear and glitter on the phone and you know I said what is Brandi doing over there I said she's floating let her float like okay so and then first that Brandis first time in the house so she was walking around looking at all my art right and she would say oh this is an African Street or this is an Uzbek the standing in the street or this is the Serengeti you know I've traveled I traveled all over the world so listen she was saying Street then she went in the frigerator to get something and she said somebody Street you're not and a street and I got sick of it I said [ __ ] what the [ __ ] is your millennial ass talking about and she said Oh auntie it's just something I say I said y'all bring my ass over here let's make up a song about it so it was originally when I hit that chord and said I don't want nobody [ __ ] with me in these streets what was going through my mind was the con artists hmm and then as I began to sing it it started it was about the police brutality so a lot of a lot of what was going on in the world and in my life filled me up for that for that performance you know ain't nobody got time for that da no no no ain't nobody got Bobby got time for that [ __ ] you know it came out and that first but that first one someone's messing that but that first one was the [ __ ] when I win just [ __ ] with me in these streets and you know what I told them brandy and Roz you better say I said [ __ ] you singing with Jennifer Lewis I told Brandon you know I can learn about til a young international start amass saying Mitch and you went for Jennifer Lewis that's my girl that I love Brandi Brandi is one I gotta tell y'all she wanted to sweetest I love Brandi people in the world just the low face and just pretty and she just loves me she loved me like nobody else loved me Brandi season cuz she show business I don't mean like everybody loves but Brandi sees that the see this Jennifer Lewis no she sees the person that's what I mean this is yeah you yeah yeah yeah she goes in because she understands that baby's been a star she was tuned so she understands the rhythm and the motion and the creativity and the colors and the levels but she sees me and I love that about her would you get you my tea no man I ain't never heard Brandi's am i I said I'm done I start listen to music but you know Oh young and [ __ ] I stopped at Aretha I don't listen all that [ __ ] you know cuz I had a two-pot story [ __ ] I thought two fathers gonna shoot my ass cuz I throw all them [ __ ] out of his trailer but how brilliant was that scene between he and I he was he was adorable I loved him and you know I walked in his trail and I and I like how you just casually say to [ __ ] like the people nowadays some of these rappers that disrespect him and his me in his that era I think he's not as relevant as to Patterson the actor the oh the person I met the person to this yeah and the activist you know the Rodney King riots I believed had happened like two weeks before Tupac and I film that scene in Compton you know John Singleton he directed us and you know that line in there boy shut the [ __ ] up and put the cigarette hold that lettuce and [ __ ] to tear his ass up and I knew it would be okay because what we had to show in that movie with the mother was where those kids that come from where had Regina King come from being all where had Janet Jackson all these characters where had these how had these kids developed having a mother like the character I played in that movie see I try to give when I play these mothers I give them sass I give them you know flavor but I give them warm I give them compassion I'm representing the most powerful entities on this planet the middle-aged black woman I take that lightly I give them a sense of humor that crazy but Ruby on blackish is a bit much I'm sorry you on Ruby is a hot mess you know that ain't right they got her as a con artist she done blown up the boat she done put the the the the car through the garage she you know Laurence Fishburne was a pimp why they gotta be all that but when I get the script y'all I laugh so hard what would you like to see play you in your movie mm-hmm Brandi wants to play me know Brandi she wants she sho gonna be in it though she'd kill me she cut me with a knife but I don't know darling I don't know I don't know it's you know uh they have called some people y'all better call for the movie right so no I was gonna say this is think what I call I think they're full of [ __ ] though so anybody want to do this movie you might want to do it cuz you know I'm hot now man all my stuff that thing I did on Mental Illness got ten million views uh in these streets got 45 million views and though your social and that thing gonna happen but now that I have that platform I'm gonna tell you all a new era with the kids when you're shooting happiness you when your video came out I put that on all our channels - yeah and then this new one I did I mean after Parkland our children shouldn't have to run from bullets or no tongue that came right out of let me tell you how that happened you know it was it was Valentine's Day Oh Lord Jesus [Music] anyway they shootin babies you understand and I know it didn't just happen they've been shooting our babies since the dawn of time anyway let me tell you how our children shouldn't have to run from bullets came about I'd done like literally I would just come from blackish and I went upstairs I got on the internet and it was Valentine's Day so a lot of the Millennials said a happy Valentine's Day Jennifer and they spelled my name with two ends so I said you know what I'm sick of this [ __ ] so I went down to the piano and I was about to write a funny song about you know J en AF ER I'm a [ __ ] star I don't know what I was doing but I was gonna write a funny song but somehow when I went to turn on the camera I hit the news and the footage of the children running out of the school with their hands up in an overhead helicopter shot came on so I hadn't seen anything my son picked it up and that was one kid come on Jesus one kid whose arms were not up now you gotta understand it's a helicopter shot mm-hmm so I can't see his face but he's arms are like this the baby couldn't even get his arms up so I knew he was in shock you say I've had a knife to my throat I know what shock looks like that boy couldn't get his his arms up and all of a sudden I didn't care how my name was spelled and all of a sudden what nothing's funny and I hit that that cord again and I screamed our children shouldn't have to run from bullets I'm going down to Parkland I think in two weeks and I'm also going to Flint this is all on my book tour I'm not just going to my signings I'm going into these cities and represent oK you've been known for your social activism for a very long time specifically you know I think the start may have been around the AIDS crisis in the 80s because they lot you lost absolutely you lost a lot of hundred I have on a list yeah a lot of people I knew yeah gypsy friends yes besties yes brothers sisters they fell like flies I mean I remember I mean the description in the book was you know cuz I mean I'm if the LGBT community and I remember back from when magic had made the announcement the added fear and now people you don't really hear about it as much anymore maybe because you want to know why you don't hear about it what cuz you want to know who has it more than any other demographic we do black women oh that's why you don't hear about I love when that baby got up at that March and in DC and she said oh that let that 11-year old exactly tomorrow you said we've been forgotten the little black girl what about the little black girl oh let me just pause and still little kids how happy I and proud I am I was at the spa but I went over into the city in San Diego to that March and it was wonderful I'm so proud of the children like Obama said we've been waiting for you come on up you gonna have to take it back baby we [ __ ] it up and let me personally apologize we are all responsible and you fight babies you fight you stand up and don't you back down not for one minute so in in your book yesterday we've been communicating with your manager Julia who's been amazing yes do you walk in the street you meet a lot of people innocent I've met a lot of people who've worked with a lot of people and I've know a lot of friends who have managers or agents and the reason why I don't have a manager an agent is because if you don't care about me the person you can't care about my career come on so it takes a while but one thing I know for sure she she really loves you in your book you said she saved your life what did I mean oh okay here we go now y'all see me so we're all out in the hot tub one night when you turn 60 you be in hot water all the time and Julia said so Jennifer when am I going to lunch with you and Tony Tony Marriott the con artist who said he was had gone to Oxford when in fact he was in prison God man anyway his mama but he was masterful he was a master for this wasn't just no mother [ __ ] off the street he was masterful he had been in and out of jail since he was 15 he ripped off 13 people of 4.3 million dollars and went to jail for it got out started doing the same [ __ ] over again eeeek but anyway so Julia said Jennifer when am I going to lunch with you and Tony and now it's dark out there a few candles going around and I didn't see her face and she didn't see mine but my response to her was this well you know we just kind of want to be alone and she looked and said to herself she said to me she said wouldn't love did you start mumbling come on now you gotta keep good friends around you that know you so with some [ __ ] happens they'll see the change oh I told that [ __ ] I was alpha but I didn't tell him I surrounded myself with generals mmm these weren't soldiers these were generals I asked surround myself with intellectuals good people longtime friends no new people no new friends mmm come on Jesus she recognized that my behavior was different now she hadn't been close and she didn't care and she didn't love me she wouldn't have seen that talk about we just won you know the con artists got to keep you isolated so they can take everything from you well whoops about the [ __ ] you didn't get it all and like I said let me say it again what you got [ __ ] was sushi to me stupid bastard you know I'll tell you when I softened cuz I knew something was wrong pay attention to your instinct are you like this all the time this is you all the thing I wanna say is this and tell y'all cuz they'll do anything to get your money and to get you and get what you got you shouldn't have used your kids hmm I ain't done with your ass Nick so he gonna go get comfortable catcher don't you ever get come he used his kids that was when I softened and said yeah I'll invest in this project that's when I said yes cuz he brought his kids over to my house set him around my pool and kept him there only for a little while y'all I didn't expect it I didn't I didn't yes it'll sense it I didn't sense that something that evil could happen to me oops true con artist sociopath lo feel pet lacks empathy yellow remorse can use children listen I put on my Instagram the other day and I got all these thousands of comic likes in the comments whatever I said I don't [ __ ] with nobody and it's not personal I just don't [ __ ] with nobody because when I first moved to LA 12 years ago I was [ __ ] with everybody I was everywhere I had to be at every party in Lou Nelson why are you the staple of every event why don't you become the event stop going everywhere come on now I love them now but once I started compartmentalizing people and really guarding my own space always Hollywood always fake always busy that no y'all don't elevate me I got my own issues I'm dealing with yeah I saw I got to be I can't [ __ ] because I would be generous and I started saying like I'm being overly generous to people that aren't returnest well let me tell you something when you get my age when you turn 60 which I did a year ago I'm 61 now you really realize that you got more years behind and then ahead oops baby I see if it aint important it if it ain't for the children I ain't going it's time for that [ __ ] I'm getting ready to go see them the Silverbacks and Uganda don't [ __ ] with me and I wanna sit with the little baby one it's like what's your name [ __ ] come here you lose [ __ ] and that's what I got time to do I'm gonna talk to the big ol the male silverback I'm gonna say what up blood see that's what I'm doing with my life I'm goin I'm just oh y'all a Mac side warrior saved my life and Serengeti two years ago so I'm walking down a dirt road in the middle of the Serengeti desert with a mass side warrior that is ten feet tall and holding a flashlight now I have to get up at 3:30 walk to the lobby this isn't morning take a truck to a hot air balloon and take the hot air balloon over the serengeti at sunrise oh come on Jesus now how often do you hear that sentence come today to go and it goes ready mom I said I'm coming so we're walking now I found out later that the golf cart that takes you back and forth to your room what's broken hmm so basically me and this math side warrior had no business on this road mm-hmm that was no moon pitch-black oh I can see it with the flash come out so we got to be walking walking there's a crotch now y'all I know what the squirrel sounds like I know what a deer sounds like I know what an hour sounds like in a tree hmm that's how in tune I am with nature but this was none of that this whatever this was it weighed 18 million pounds it's a real [ __ ] job so lo and behold from the brush comes a very large black Buffalo flashlight is on him it is a female her horns are straight that's how I know because I studied before I left you don't study and go up in the [ __ ] jungle and you don't know what's coming in so and you better know what's gonna kill you and what's gonna be coochie-coochie-coochie-coo my this [ __ ] is poison no bill she [ __ ] coochie-coo this ain't no so [ __ ] it's the real [ __ ] [ __ ] giraffes the tallest the top damn Empire State Building like what what have you been eating said a tree [ __ ] for breakfast an entire tree so wait a minute so here she come horns pointing big [ __ ] is big la she's crossing the road now I know if she's got babies this tall [ __ ] here and me dead we stop she's walking she's walking she's walking we're praying I'm [ __ ] she's walking she's walking I'm peeing she's walking I'm about to vomit but that would make too much noise I [ __ ] again she's walking I [ __ ] again Shh so we think she's gonna go on in the brush but of course she stops the Maasai warrior says to me don't move I'm thinking liquor do I look like I'm [ __ ] moving I say nothing we think this [ __ ] goes here comes the Buffalo she goes right at our ass and with that the Masai warrior touches my arm and he touches it hard and he says don't move mom like [ __ ] when it Dyna goddamn desert and even though paparazzi hear the reporters at a [ __ ] is dead and a god diva didn't ditch in the Serengeti there's a [ __ ] headline for a woman sir oh it's Fabian so as he says don't move mob this [ __ ] huzzah oh gosh I got understand the my side no joke this [ __ ] in his blanket and flashlight puts himself right in front of me and you know it I was you were raised here so what happened so the buffalos charging towards you so what that majestic tall silver god Blackman massa he proceeded to make himself bigger than that [ __ ] like a wind hawk he was so beautiful even in the dark I could see his his everything Ness and I was grateful because I knew I had come that I was in the motherland and I did I look [Music] [Laughter] [Laughter] [Laughter] [Music] in the whole things always happen for reason when we got in that truck to go to the hot air balloon when that African man turn that ignition and turned on the lights guess what was in front of us - innocent lions with little names and they were in the position [Music] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] all right we could literally sit here for days but we know we don't have the time but let me just say it my favorite movie of all time is what's love got to do it that movie was amazing and you know Angela one of my favorite actresses of all time I've only met her once but amazing movie and I just want to say it really quickly you did the you had a relationship with Whitney Houston I had a party with Whitney and she died the next day the last time she was ever performing publicly and I was just kind of in our research is going over just you know preacher's wife just different things and just saw your affection for her and it's really good to meet people who I know really loved her that was my baby knows my baby she's my daughter for three months of my life and I loved her I loved her so much yeah she's at peace now yeah she is so that was all I was gonna share I would just say the last thing is just thank you so much as you you all say your final your final words thank you so much for writing this book because for me and you know we all learned you know we have about a million followers and we have all the stuff collectively everybody has an audience whether you have 500 followers or a million followers a 10 mil others and you have a responsibility and one thing I've learned and I will say if nobody else tells you is that this book has started me on the path of discovery where I'm going not just in my career but in my personal life and the reason why I decided to start putting more emphasis on making the time to do my book now was because I can remember my whole story right and health so I need to start writing it out because there is a healing process in that but thank you for writing this because you know and I say this to everybody listening you have to get this book because you will discover a parallel in your life somewhere in this book cause you've lived a whole bunch of lives career I told the truth that's all I did I told the truthful I was honest it was painful to write I just wrote a song and I'm gonna sing it it's little it's short goes like this and it's father Millennials it's for the young generation then everybody it's not just for them but for everybody goes like this look look look I wrote a book two and a half years blood sweat and tears it took this is my story and God knows it's my song sit back relax turn the page it won't take long the pain and the drama playing everybody's mama the mother black Hollywood everybody's telling me it's so good so look hey where's your book put down that phone and go write your own tell the world about all of your pain and all of your glory oh it's inside of you tell your story god you're beautiful Jesus not my song you know you don't only Pastor to make every host Tara you're the only one because everybody has a story yes we do and we appreciate you for this are you Melissa what do you want to say I love this woman I want to just say that it is a complete honor to be sitting on the side of you know and I myself have looked up to your body of work for a long time I'm an actor myself every camera once all right come on now and I look at you as a pillar of just a true person and I guess my last question is it's just is there anybody and your magnificent lifespan that you haven't worked with it you would like to work with besides me hahaha no that's right cause it's going to happening wow that's deep I've worked with everybody well you know Sharon Stone and and and Tom Hanks and Maryland Denzel and if I vile and I were in the same movie Antwone Fisher but we didn't work together Wow you know what I'll tell you let me answer a better question I want you guys I don't want you to forget that you had a black president who had dignity and grace and intellect I never worried about him because I knew I was safe during his administration because of how he looked at his wife and how he looked at his daughters I would like to sit and have a conversation with him and Michelle that's who I'd like to sit with not so much to work with I'd like to work with them to you know give me a give me a challenge I'll I'll meet it cuz you'll sneak down in some [ __ ] don't try to keep me out of Lewis ain't standing no line Melissa okay I okay I'm gonna try and compose myself and and there's just so much um in regards to writing a book I've struggled with you know the same kind of feelings of inferiority and unworthiness and who wants to hear my story Oh literally there's days alter so I'll wake up and I'm like I feel insignificant you know your book addresses that mm-hmm and kind of gives you strength mm-hmm so everybody got to read it um - we idolize some of the same people Lena Horne I remember when I was a little girl I was trying to figure out who I wanted to be mm-hmm and when you're young you have to look towards people to try to identify absolutely what you value absolutely you know and um I looked at women like Lena Lena Horne Dorothy Dandridge Josephine Baker phylicia rashad mm-hmm these are women that I held in the highest regard because they were just so composed yeah and so poised they could level you with a look and they were they were inside they were they were saying if you know what you know what it really boils down to I hear what you saying baby what it boils down to it's caring mm-hmm oh you will write your book you write your book because I came here I'm not gonna waste this you think i sat here and talked all this late my soul you that came out of my house today for you not to write your book I told you I had a nervous breakdown yesterday but here I am signed sealed delivered and you know why because I care about you and you and you and you I care we have a right to pursue happiness you don't get to have low self-esteem work on it get a journal write it down you pull that [ __ ] out like a weed if you want it grows back you got to go deep to get pain insecurity unworthiness chaos and confusion leave that [ __ ] behind look in the mirror and love yourself look at you you're as pretty as you can be you don't get to that even think that you're unworthy you called me on the [ __ ] phone ain't gonna answer but calling it goddamn way can i text you you know I have to break it because when it's when it's so deep like this you got to break it with them with laughter you see you got to bring it back too you got to get people cells dancing you got to leave them hoping and succeeding and singing their own song this is my story this is my song I can't believe I did this [ __ ] this [ __ ] almost killed me going back to all the death from AIDS and and my mother and the con artist and the knife to my throat and the molestation and the abortions yeah I did it yes and Here I am cuz somebody cared now I care don't let that [ __ ] be in vain you see that's Carnegie Hall every time I lived I lived I lived two blocks from Carnegie Hall three no five blocks from Carnegie Hall for ten years of my life and every time I passed her I wouldn't do any all I do is just point my thing and this one thing one day one day one every time one day I was Carnegie Hall so not only did I sing in the Great Hall but I received an electrifying standing ovation and there was a 92 year old couple sitting front row sent and I knew they had had those seats a 90 something years and guess what that was who I wanted to stand up at the end and guess what you can see it on YouTube they're sitting there and at one point the the wife gets up real slow huh she helps him up hmm she helps him up yeah and guess what you think shirley maclaine did it can nobody touch me after that I've seen the likes of Nina Simone Lena Horne sure what's her name Shirley MacLaine what did I say Lena Horne came to my show Jesus everybody's anybody yes Sidney Lena I met Tina in in Oh y'all I know them all who I met them all I met them all I said at their feet I listened I learned retha Aretha said you read in the book she says I don't Jennifer I didn't know you had home thank you so much and for everybody if you don't read and can't read get the audio oh [ __ ] cuz you can write in LA traffic you can hear this whole book audible is they see is so good I've heard a few chapters okay so now that you've come on the show we've fallen more in love with you we come into your brunch I don't know we gonna be gonna call Julie we just gonna text Julie every week what's going on it's happening but thank you so much it's my it really is my pleasure because the bottom line guys as I care I can stay here and be funny and carry on and you know tell these wonderful stories and they are wonderful stories I'm grateful that I had such an adventurous life my life has been adventurous and I took risk and it hurt my life hurt and it was painful but I came through the fire my therapist called its soldiers that were inside of me and I I took that name on and yeah I marched and I'm still marching literally and figuratively iCare iCare [Music] well you always have us to have we got your back so anytime you okay thank you so much Jennifer Lewis thank you so thank you guys bye-bye [Music]

Channel: HOLLYWOOD UNLOCKED

Views: 896,456

Rating: 4.8250308 out of 5

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Id: nhZr5e1Nm58

Length: 98min 47sec (5927 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 02 2018