-Good evening. I'm Seth Meyers and this is "Late Night." We are back from a week
of hiatus and happy to be here. Let's get to the news. President Biden was set
to discuss his infrastructure
proposal today with the top
Republican negotiator, who I think is Joe Manchin? In an op-ed yesterday,
Democratic Senator Joe Manchin announced that he
would be voting against a new voting rights bill and reiterated his support
for the filibuster. So, when I say he's Democratic, that's just like
the party he's in. Wyoming Congresswoman Liz Cheney
said, in a new interview, that former President Trump's
incitement of the January attack
on the Capitol is "the most dangerous thing
a president has done." Previously, it was go to a play. [ Laughter ] So, I'm glad
Scollins didn't change. [ Laughter ]
after a week off. And he spent the whole week
in sensitivity training. [ Laughter ] Former President Trump's
daughter-in-law Lara Trump announced, over the weekend,
that she will not run for a Senate seat
in North Carolina, due to her young children,
because she's seen firsthand what happens when you neglect Trump children.
[ Laughter ] Former President Trump's blog
shut down permanently last week. Oh, come on, you're not supposed
to shut down blogs. You're supposed
to slowly stop posting, 'til you forget you have one. Then, a year later,
you do one of those, "Hey, guys, sorry I haven't
updated in a while" posts, even though literally
no one's been asking and no one could care less. A spokesperson for British
Prime Minister Boris Johnson recently announced
that he married his fiancée in a small, private ceremony. Just what the world needed -- another, less effective, Johnson & Johnson.
[ Laughter ] Today was former Vice President
Mike Pence's 62nd birthday, despite Donald Trump's
best efforts. Former Vice President
Mike Punce recent-- "Punce." [ Laughter ] I got it right
the previous joke. -Yeah, yeah, you had it.
-So like I know what it is. [ Laughter ] You guys remember this punce?
["putz"] [ Laughter ] Former Vice President Mike Pence
recently spoke at a Lincoln-Reagan Dinner
in New Hampshire about the January attack
on the Capitol. He didn't intend to, but that's just
how flashbacks work. Officials in Los Angeles County
are reportedly set to vote soon on a law that prohibits
feeding peacocks and make it punishable
by up a $1,000 fine or six months in jail. Incidentally, "feeding the
peacock" is also what I call making 200 shows a year. [ Laughter ] Oh, and she has an appetite! [ Laughter ] A 30-year-old woman in Texas
was arrested for trespassing recently, after she allegedly posed
as her 13-year-old daughter and spent the day at her school. Damn, lady, why didn't you just enjoy high school
when you were there? Wait, oh, so she's 30. Her daughter's 13. Oh, okay.
Okay, I see. Enjoy yourself. And, finally, Amazon
CEO Jeff Bezos announced today, in an Instagram post,
that he and his brother will be on the first crew space flight of his private rocket company
later this year. If he wants to see space
so badly, he should just open one
of his packages. And that, you guys,
was a monologue. And I think
it's pretty clear, uh, we still got it. [ Laughter ] You know, I do want to say, you know, I gave Scollins
a hard time. He had a very hard week
because, Friday, we were just talking about,
it was National Doughnut Day. Obviously,
that's the kind of thing that he would write
a hundred jokes about and he just had to spend it
alone in his home, hopefully, at least,
eating a free doughnut.
