>> Reggie: ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ >> Reggie: ♪
♪ ♪ ♪ >> JAMES: GOOD EVENING LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN, WELCOME TO THIS --
( LAUGHTER ) -- WHAT HAPPENED THERE? >> Reggie: I DON'T KNOW. >> James: I LOOKED OVER, YOU
WERE RIGHT THERE. AND I THOUGHT, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT'S HAPPENING BUT I'M GOING TO JUMP IN THAT WATER WHILE IT'S
WARM. >> Reggie: I HAD THIS AND YOU
ADDED THIS AND IT'S ON FIRE. >> James: IT JUST BECAME. WE'RE LIKE A LIVE T TIKTOK,
REALLY. >> Reggie: YEAH. >> James: IT'S THE WAY TO LOOK
AT THIS SHOW, TIKTOK LIVE. >> Reggie: YES! >> James: NOT ONLY, FINALLY. >> Reggie: FINALLY. >> James: LATER ON IN THE SHOW
WE'LL TALK WITH DEESUS & MERRO, AND THEN MOTHER MOTHER. I'M ALWAYS JEALOUS OF PEOPLE WHO
HAVE ONE NAME -- DEESUS & MERRO. ELTON. >> Reggie: OPRAH. >> James: RIHANNA. MADONNA. Y FAVORITE ONE IS TIFFANY. BECAUSE ALL THE OTHER ONE
NAMES -- THERE'S ONLY ONE MADONNA, ONLY ONE RIHANNA,
BEYONCE, THERE'S MILLIONS OF PEOPLE NAMED TIFFANY, AND SHE'S,
LIKE, NO, NO, I'M TIFFANY. >> James: I'M TIFFANY. I'M TIFFANY. YOU MEAN, I THINK WE'RE ALONE
NOW. >> YEAH. MOM'S A BIG ONE. >> James: MOM. BUT THAT'S NOT SPECIFIC TO HER. >> MOM? >> James: YEAH. BECAUSE WHEN I SAY MOM, I
KNOW WHO IT IS, MOM. >> James: BUT WHEN YOU SAY
MOM, I DON'T THINK OF YOUR MOM, I THINK OF MY MOM, WHICH IS RARE
BECAUSE I'M EVEN THINKING ABOUT YOUR MOM. ( LAUGHTER )
( DRUM ROLL ) >> I THINK WE ALL ARE. >> James: GOT A LOT OF SCREEN
TIME LAST NIGHT? LINK DIDN'T BLOW UP? >> THERE'S A LOT OF HUMBLING
TEXTS AND TWEETS YESTERDAY AND TODAY, BUT ABOUT --
>> James: ABOUT YOUR USE OF THE WORD "SENIOR." >> YEAH. BUT, AFTER THAT, I HAVE BEEN
ASKED TO BE A GUEST ON MANY OTHER INTERNATIONAL PODCASTS
NOW, SO, REALLY A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENING FOR OLD NICK
BERNSTEIN. >> James: ANY TASTY ONES
YOU'VE GOT YOUR EYE ON? WHAT PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW IS THEY
WANT TO GET YOU ON SPORTS. >> YEAH, THAT'S TRUE. >> James: THE GEE GEES. WHAT IS --
>> James: THE GEE GEES. OH, YEAH. >> James: THAT'S ME RIDING A
HORSE. >> THAT'S GREAT. >> James: SEE, WITH THE NOISE,
YOU GET IT ( CLOPPING HOOVES )
>> THAT'S THE MOST HELPFUL THING GUILLERMO HAS EVER DONE ON THIS
SHOW. >> James: FIRED OUT ZINGERS
AGAINST THE BAND! YOU WILL HAVE NO FRIENDS LEFT IN
HERE BY THE END OF THIS! >> HE'S JUST TRYING TO TAKE THE
HEAT OFF HIMSELF. >> James: THAT'S THE BIGGEST
DEFLECTION I'VE EVER SEEN FROM THE JUNIOR VICE PRESIDENT O CBS
LATE NIGHT PROGRAM. ( LAUGHTER )
LAST SHOW OF THE WEEK. PLANS FOR THE WEEK, ANYONE? WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS? >> GOING TO PENNSYLVANIA FOR MY
MOM'S 90th BIRTHDAY. >> James: PENNSYLVANIA! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Reggie: PENNSYLVANIA. >> James: THAT -- IS -- HUGE! 90 YEARS OLD. WHAT IS YOUR MOM'S NAME? >> IRENE. >> James: IRENE ♪
♪ IRENE, IRENE, IRENE, IRENE ♪ ♪ YOU'RE TURNING 90 THIS
WEEKEND ♪ WELL, HAVE A GREAT TIME. FLY SAFE. PLEASE SEND HER ALL OF OUR BEST. PROMISE ME. >> YES. >> James: DON'T YOU DARE
FORGET. ANYONE ELSE, ANY FUN PLANS IN
SUSAN, WHAT YOU GOT ROLLING DOWN THIS WEEKEND? >> NOTHING. MY CAT'S SICK SO I'M GOING TO
TAKE CARE OF HIM. >> OH...♪
HER CAT, HER CAT, HER CAT IS SICK ♪
( LAUGHTER ) ( TO THE TUNE OF JOLENE )
>> James: IT'S TIME FOR -- THE NEWS! >> Reggie: THE NEWS. >> James: THAT'S A GOOD IDEA,
NICK. WE COULD START SPONSORING THE
NEWS. >> BANG! >> James: LOOK AT THAT. BECAUSE YOU COULD DO THE NEWS,
THE NEWS -- BROUGHT TO YOU BY -- >> Reggie: BROUGHT TO YOU
BY -- BEEP. >> James: YEAH, WHO BUYS HOURS
ON CBS AND WE'LL GIVE THEM A FREE SLOT ON THE SHOW RIGHT NOW. >> LET'S DO OUR FRIENDS AT
PANERA BREAD. >> James: OKAY, LET'S DO IT,
OKAY. BUT FIRST IT'S TIME FOR THE
NEWS. ♪
♪ >> Reggie: THE NEWS SPONSORED
BY PANERA BREAD. ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: PRESIDENT BIDEN WAS IN THE
UNITED KINGDOM TODAY, WHERE HE MET WITH PRIME MINISTER BORIS
JOHNSON, AND SIGNED AN UPDATED VERSION OF THE ORIGINAL 1941
ATLANTIC CHARTER. THE CHARTER OUTLINES PLANS FOR
THE U.S. AND THE U.K. TO COLLABORATE ON AREAS LIKE TRADE
AND DEFENSE. ATLANTIC CHARTER. SOUNDS LIKE A FISH I'D PRETEND
I'D HEARD OF. A FANCY RESTAURANT. WHAT'S THE CATCH OF THE DAY? OOOH! I LOVE ATLANTIC CHARTER. MUAH! I'LL GET THE MAC AND CHEESE,
THANK YOU. HONESTLY, IT'S THE MOST
SIGNIFICANT AGREEMENT BETWEEN THE U.S. AND U.K. SINCE LOVE ACTUALLY. ATLANTIC CHARTER SOUNDS LIKE
-- THE TWO COUNTRIES COULDN'T AGREE ON HOW TO PROWRNS
ALUMINUM. >> Reggie: THAT'S CORRECT. I DON'T THINK IT'S SPELLED
ALUMINUM. ( PRONOUNCING WE SPELL IT
DIFFERENTLY. I SEE! WHAT OTHER WORDS DO YOU THINK I
PRONOUNCE I DON'T THINK >> THE ONE THAT KILLS ME EVERY
TIME IS ZEB-RAY. YOU SAY IT LIKE THE NAME DEBRA,
AND I PICTURE A ZEBRA WEARING, LIKE, HIGH-WASTED JEANS. ( LAUGHTER )
ZEBRA. WE SEE ZEE-BRA. >> James: ZEB, YOU DON'T CALL
HIM ZEEB. >> I RARELY CALL HIM AT ALL. ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: BUT IF YOU DID, OWLEDN'T CALL HIM ZEEB NEWMAN. >> FOR SOME REASON WE SAY ZEEBRA
AND ZEB-RA SOUNDS WRONG. . TERRIT-ZO. . TERRIT-ZO. YES YOU DO. >> James: NO I DON'T. YES YOU DO. >> James: WHY ARE YOU BEING
SUCH A FREAK? WHAT'S HAPPENED NOW? YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST GOT OFF A
BOAT FROM THE CAYMAN ISLANDS, YOU'VE AVOIDED, LIKE, $8 MILLION
IN TAX AND YOU'RE, LIKE, I'M GOING TO TELL HIM HE SAYS WORDS
DIFFERENTLY. >> I'M JUST TELLING YOU THE
TRUTH. ( LAUGHTER )
>> James: AND JUST AHEAD OF TOMORROW'S G7 SUMMIT, BIDEN
ANNOUNCED THAT THE UNITED STATES WILL BE DONATING 500 MILLION
PFIZER VACCINES TO COUNTRIES IN NEED. A MOVE WHICH HE HOPES WILL
PROMPT OTHER G-7 COUNTRIES TO HELP, TOO. YOU THOUGHT IT WAS COOL BUYING A
ROUND OF SHOTS FOR THE BAR? IMAGINE BUYING A ROUND OF SHOTS
FOR ALL OF SOUTH AMERICA. ( LAUGHTER )
IN ANTICIPATION OF THE G-7 SUMMIT, ONE ARTIST UNVEILED A
NEW PROJECT ACROSS FROM THE HOTEL HOSTING THE EVENT. IT'S A GIGANTIC SCULPTURE OF THE
SEVEN LEADERS MADE OUT OF ELECTRONIC WASTE, CALLED "MOUNT
RECYCLEMORE." HERE IT IS HERE. THE ARTIST HOPES TO HIGHLIGHT
THE NEED TO MAKE ELECTRONIC DEVICES RECYCLABLE. THAT LOOKS AMAZING. THAT LOOKS LIKE SOMETHING YOU'D
SEE AT BURNING MAN, HOPEFULLY BEFORE THE DRUGS KICK IN. CAN WE SEE THAT AGAIN? LOOK AT THAT. APPARENTLY, THAT'S SUPPOSED TO
BE JOE BIDEN ON THE FAR RIGHT. ( LAUGHTER )
>> Reggie: WOW BUT LOOK AT FRENCH PRESIDENT
EMMANUEL MACRON HE LOOKS LIKE THE WAITER AT A
SNOOTY RESTAURANT WHEN YOU ASK FOR KETCHUP. ALTHOUGH TO BE FAIR, THAT'S ALSO
WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE IN REAL LIFE, TOO. BUT THE ARTIST MUST BE BRITISH,
BECAUSE THERE'S A LEVEL OF DETAIL TO BORIS JOHNSON'S EYE
BAGS THAT CAN ONLY BE DESCRIBED AS PERSONAL. ( LAUGHTER )
AND WE HAVE AN UPDATE ON A STORY WE TOLD YOU ABOUT EARLIER THIS
WEEK. ON MONDAY, JEFF BEZOS ANNOUNCED
THAT HE WOULD BE PART OF A HISTORIC FLIGHT TO SPACE NEXT
MONTH. WELL, NOW, FELLOW BILLIONAIRE
RICHARD BRANSON SAYS HE WILL BE LAUNCHED INTO SPACE BEFORE
BEZOS. JEFF BEZOS NOT GOING TO BE HAPPY
ABOUT THIS, IS HE? >> Reggie: NO. >> James: I HOPE RICHARD
BRANSON IS CAUGHT UP ON THE MARVELOUS MRS. MAISEL BECAUSE
HIS ACCOUNT IS ABOUT TO GET CUT OFF. ONE OF THOSE IS GOING TO FIRST
INTO SPACE AND THE OTHER WILL BE A LOSER SADDLED AT HOME WITH
BILLIONS OF DOLLARS. ( LAUGHTER )
AND FINALLY, THE EAST COAST CONVENIENCE STORE CHAIN WAWA
RELEASED A LIMITED-EDITION CHEESE-STEAK SANDWICH TODAY TO
COMMEMORATE THE POPULAR HBO SHOW "MARE OF EASTTOWN." THE SANDWICH, WHICH WILL BE
AVAILABLE FOR ONE WEEK, COMES WITH BEEF, CHEDDAR CHEESE SAUCE,
AND A SPICY CHERRY PEPPER RELISH. THE SECRET TO THE "MARE OF
EASTTOWN" CHEESE-STEAK IS THAT IT'S ACTUALLY A BRITISH SANDWICH
DOING A GREAT ACCENT. ( LAUGHTER )
BUT WAWA ISN'T THE ONLY RESTAURANT WITH A NEW, TV-THEMED
FOOD ITEM LIKE THIS. THERE'S ALSO THIS NEW BURRITO
CALLED THE, "NINETY DAY CHIPOTLE." ( LAUGHTER )
AND POPEYE'S JUST JOINED FORCES WITH NETFLIX TO OFFER THIS ITEM
"THE QUEEN'S GUMBO." ( LAUGHTER )
AND FINALLY, THERE'S THIS ONE. FOR A LIMITED-TIME, SEVEN-ELEVEN
AND MARVEL HAVE JOINED FORCES FOR THE "THE FALCON AND THE
WEEK-OLD SUSHI." AND THAT'S THE NEWS.
