Live at the Top of the Tower GREATEST HITS | Peter Kay

i think when you're up you're not working you go on your holidays yeah when are you going tomorrow that'll be me tomorrow i would have here from the holidays this time tomorrow going on a ball too running around packing it getting all ready for taxi comes taxi's here tax is it everyone's rushing around y'all rush for a taxi don't you come on taxi you coming to what i'm coming now i'm just putting the plants in the sink why just put the radio on leave the radio on in case we get burglars did you do that leave radio on when you go out is it burglars are in backyard listening silence soon as radio comes on that says bang running come on have a dance while they're robbing you smack your [ __ ] up tony knock it over here i'll put the radio we'll have them know just split the radio on i'm coming now i'll leave the big light on big big light don't get big like what are people saying that put big lights on put big lights on we're going to cross where we put big lights on the 2000 watt bull put big lights on that's better i can see now we're in we readers where are my readers dad well we've got a washing line in the suitcase you never know do you you get over there you do a bit of washing you want to hang your clothes up hey presto come see your dad there you go what's this [ __ ] washing powder little polythene bag of washing powder you want to get there you want to wash your smalls a couple of the walls it sink come and see your dad do that tea coffee with a coffee mate you're right four o'clock at morning you're thirsty come and see your dad always thinking cup of tea dad with no milk coffee mate it's good i'm thinking oh that's daddy we all right going through customs with all these bags of white powder are we boosting some spanish airports that's that's coffee mate coffee mate i'm not your [ __ ] mid top is brown [ __ ] and white the k family midnight express dads always go out and holiday find somewhere you know go out i found a lovely place you'll love it come on come with me you'll love this place it's called the red lion the red lion it's an old english red lion pub they've got a british phone box outside come inside look at this the survey you want to point to tetley's turtles is on sticking kidney pie chips and beans it's all there you see all the fools and horses on the televisions english purpose it's like being at home but you've got the weather you've got the weather lovely couple they're retired photographs on the wall the dog's playing snooker you can't go wrong sit down have a stand can you power you dab come on bring that connect four over come on love you again have any foreign food oh no oh thank you i want any of that foreign muck what garlic bread garlic bread garlic the bread am i hearing you right garlic bread oh thank you i've got some milk roll in case that'll do me but it's all still first thing you do when you arrive is phone go out and get some pair for how do you work it put that card in four four four it's all four four for england hello i am gonna miss me all right yeah everything's fine apartment's clean what time is it though what time is it eight o'clock ten o'clock at night here state of pocket home it's eight o'clock at all everything's fine what's weather like though come on you know what it is do you give a [ __ ] is that fine it's that fireman that's social you go out shopping supermarket for self-catering and you're amazed if you see something in english when you go out and you go look around like hold on what i've got what i've got marie look at that cadburys chocolate fingers look at that over here caprice chocolate fingers over here don't list cadbury's fingers look at that let's cover his finger i don't know i don't do spanish look at that domestic science look at that let's cover his fingers and they buy them even though they're a pound nearer than they are in spa they buy them and they stand outside supermarket like that they taste the same they taste exactly the same william shakespeare went into a bubble landlord said get up you're bad hey we've started now now we're starting no a friend of mine got knocked down by a mobile library laughing son it's funny and tick huh unbelievably wobbly mitch it's full of hardback she'll be on your ass you get your kicks casualty you were lying on the road screaming and the driver got out and said shh hey what we're at the top we're going are you naked mountain are doing a roll with a woman on his back where are you going fancy dress party what else tortoise who's she that's michelle [Applause] i going to take doctors with a steering wheel dude he's underpants said what happened i don't know but it's driving me nuts alan he's blue sit down and he's blue you want me god well i went to doctors were he got i keep getting bad edicts he said can i ask you a personal question he said do you masturbate he said sometimes yeah he said it's magic in it hey i'm not playing games now what what all right there are another one into a butcher's he said what happened to your assistant he said i sacked him he said why he said he was sticking he he's taking his dick in the bacon slicer sorry mum he was sticking his egg in the bacon slicer he said what happened to your bacon slicer he said i sacked her and all hey i'll tell you what you're laughing but we'll end up like our parents you know it's inevitable who will tell you why 40 years from now we'll be there you know oh i tell you you don't know you're barney oh me and your mom you stabbing evenings with sky digital police station oh we have the evenings you know i think you staff managed with a car eats a carriage your mom had a dishwasher you don't remember look at her face you don't remember them a dishwasher take all the plates open up blow them in by hand on their own turn it on i'm telling you now you don't know you're bored we're not having them hoverboards they were just part dreams then son turn that music off it's crap got a bit of bloody put a bit of basement jackson well put a bit of base for jackson get a decent music come on get a drum and bass put a bit of prodigy on for your mom she loves that look at her smack your [ __ ] up come on come on look it's hammer time flat top can't touch this though come on it's hammertime just a bit tedious i'll say the casa they're pronouncing in bolton to egypt my nan said when are you going to egypt when are you going tigers [ __ ] [ __ ] she said did you want you are you not on that internet yet on that internet it's internet you want to go on that internet that's what you want to do been on that tintin there showing you people talking with their hands only get a computer you got a computer so you know four you do that ball for ball ball for you janet bone fire for you ball ball ball fire ball don't drink [Applause] [Music] [Applause] this when you're going on your holidays this is best one when you're going on your holidays no till end of june [Music] tenerife let me watch scotland tenerife scotland not next week week after next week not next week not tomorrow [Applause] you

Channel: Peter Kay

Views: 1,036,831

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Id: iwouxj3go1k

Length: 11min 23sec (683 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 17 2020