Peter On Old People | Peter Kay: Live At The Bolton Albert Halls

you can tell your own look at balloons would give me look at stage weight pots of pain no expense burning Bolton stars in your eyes tonight Matthew I'm going to be Glenn Miller he went up them steps and threw that fog and no one's seen him since then gentlemen for the old people in the audience all people you can't beat them can you fit it I'm joking especially when they're trying to draw money out of cash machine with the Blockbuster video card it's phenomenal next door to us they're a power cut one night Miss Wales oh she were and they're a power cut on the moment around let's see if you are all right if you had a um are you worried I was worried about you because it's been a power cut restaurant after that I thought there'd been a power cut but then the bus went past we its lights on yeah they plug them in no longer run away around so that's cool my mum's got curly uh and brushes her teeth modern control Flats [Laughter] look at that water control means you get a piece of red raw banging from your ceiling at front room with a red plastic triangle up bottom there's one at bathroom that's tied up right and when she pulls that that goes through to Dougie he's 14 mile away doing a word search it's an extra ten room and when I go around she'll say don't pull that that's the warden so but you know when you've had your tea and you're watching telly and then you go in kitchen oh no no pull it oh Lord rewarded alarm goes off shutters on Windows laser beams of intercom is everything around we could get everything all right Dougie you want the ambulance do you want the ambulance are you on the floor are you breathing are you blue Your Lips blue it's all right don't get with me grandson he thought it would be like you're all right that's just been trying to change channel with a bloody glasses case over just been trying to rewind CD eyeball what's up with the glasses kiss these batteries are dude just put freshens in it rubbing him take a right swap around put him back in for the [ __ ] and then I'll take her out sometimes I don't mean with a rifle I mean it car she won't put a seat belt on just hauls it around come across that with Grandma's just hold it I just hold it around me I just stole it around me yeah far from clip just put it in that's just laziness that just clip it in order to stole it around me great calls it alive though I just stole my last belt around me black belt she's always getting a word drones come around Arrow she went oh have you got Spiderman on VD players I'll tell you what I won't mind one of them new George Farm big grills they're all the rage Let's Farm big grill I'm nice again huh I used to work in a sharp mate and are you still stuff up showing you look when people came in they're coming I'd say that's uh that's three pounds 42 please do you want the 42 what two other 42. yeah I do otherwise it'd be three quid and that's not enough is it no you're all right I'll check it out my wage people say stupid thing a woman come up to me in Bolton at Christmas excuse me love excuse me am I going the right way I don't know I don't know where you're going I'll tell you this for free I love that one I'll tell you this for free put your money away believe you me believe you me me when I get dragon do you me what up you me What's it gonna do with me you me Larry who's this Larry who's this Larry fella we can convert ourselves to his head out there first things first that's a belter come on first things first really let's have first thing stirred shall we well I love it when you come back off your holidays and people say hey I see you brought the good weather back with you imagine that at Customs yeah I'm looking here shall we oh Jesus Christ I'm blinded blindly in coronadosia look at that man where Amy grandmas flat I walked in she said guess who's dead guess who's dead I've got a guess guess who's dead would you start or something like that guess who's dead you'll never guess shoot me a phone book call me who call me who's Connie Connie it flat upstairs I had a thud during Bargain Hunt Connie Connie Connie oh well no you repeated it buddy Penny's drop now the wakani pantries are enjoy he had a beard immigrants to Canada remember John RAF big lab his daughter Donna granddaughter he's been using you [ __ ] crayons which is it police now she's the death Sergeant she had a club thoughts should a Kinko language you all just look at warburtons Jimmy's in barcel in up to London on Green Lane Kelly and Angela live over dry cleaners together they're both men [Music] on Tuesday and all and well she looked alright to me I said she got knocked down by a bloody boss what do you want to look like that I saw a net or shopping so what do you want Grim Reaper push the trolley behind her come on Connie love get in you don't need fire lighters not we are going come on come on come on I've got a pound on this trolley hit child seat come on oh camps Grim Reaper let me tell you come on [Applause] off is it often here is it me I love that is it hotter there is it me who is he he's all right but who is he in himself what is your contortionist a friend of mine won a trolley Dash around Neto seriously trolley dash run round got it check out trolley piled up here they tilled it up 11 quid thank you you can't argue with them prices can you eh it's the only place I know what carrier bag today with it beans and the good carrier bags and all they are that kind of carrier bags that your mom uses to put all other carrier bags inside myself out of me Mom have you got to carry a bag just hang on I've got a Next One enable good handles where is it mama going wait when we're back on his funeral just for Christmas really bad day raining bad rain talks through it was Cannery in that fire it's trying it's trying it's trying what if it could make its mind up I didn't know what call for put on raining who went to cemetery they went back to a pub because they put a bit of a buffy on for Connie not that [ __ ] much and there were also that you haven't seen for years and you know your prop branches and uncles and there's always an uncle knobby there's always an uncle Nobert there's an Uncle know but in everyone's family there's one in ours I'll not tell you there Jack he said sweep over smoked Roll-Ups Yellowstone thing I always set in fire to you when he's talking say listening that's right that's right ignoring me hey I wonder why if I'm with the Enemy that's right I've just said a bypass touch and go search and go yeah it's on its ass is it not a medical term he came into titles [Music] if you don't mind hey how old do you know 29 29 whoa catching me up no you'll always have that 25 years I remember when you were down here yeah well I don't want to talk about that they're all Saron for this woman said oh oh did he say rain today at Cemetery raining I've never really like it but when they lower that coughing icon is did you see did you notice clothes parted a bloody Sunshine that will call me she was a she did that that were coming so what now what weather no no now we're Connie she was a in that right Lena that's that I'll tell you now I lost my ability five years ago it looks he loves cheating on you and Chris he loves them cheating on you Chris Jean on you and Chris and when he died and the Lord is coughing into the ground I swear on our Christine's eyes thought please asirloin coffin goddess me witnessed an empty bag of Quavers blew across not with Billy he was a garlic bread hey it's a few Chillers did you get him on that Bungalow yeah he wants a new carpet now foreign [Music]

Channel: Peter Kay

Views: 490,508

Keywords: peter kay, peter kay live, peter kay stand up, peter kay tour, peter kay car share, peter kay interview, young peter kay, peter kay jokes, peter kay comedy, peter kay full show, peter kay funny, phoenix nights, max and paddy, car share, stand up comedy, stand up comedian

Id: esrdRb7vd8g

Length: 12min 38sec (758 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 20 2023