Telephone Etiquette | Peter Kay: Live at the Manchester Arena

he moves in tonight so don't give a three rings I know I'm safe never do that game on three rings that I know you say and after second ring she picks it up so what's pointer a random of the week from London shitty where am I said I'm in London don't say thank you in London so what do you want chuffing did singing rabbit behind me a solo snooker like peanuts TP I love it went for rings about half past 10:00 at night any Botha who the hell's this who the hell's this who's this ring at this time the houses picadome 11 all point is this it's rum golf stronger what 7-1 you Carlo with how the number but when someone rings you the trying to give your former but you can never find a pen there's never a pen there's always one pen never work so just get a pen this thing on its gonna pen pen pen have you got a pen look the bloody pens are not in this house the bloody pens about in this house I don't want an eyeliner I want a pen before don't say that coach poem coin that's mine you always end up with a little blue shitty lottery pens about that big pen I've got go on sorry I've got a pen no Jesus somebody's chewed through end of it somebody's bitten through end of it so know every time you try and write the nib goes up inside so now you've got a card the numbering took therefore no 307 - I'm gonna buy a box of pens and I'm gonna put them on that piece Infante but I'll tell you know a friend of mine had a full car one afternoon showed up on their own hello along what you say I can t let me just turn that television down I'm on the fournier what you seen right down I cannot see you look just hang on took four on outside what did you say ho bigger your tits reader T phone call and she dragged him around us for the third and final time Oh big yeah I'm gonna pay for it all I'm gonna pay for you he's a QX ID there's bleep itchy bits of gum what the pits what I pitch what a babe bits of gummy peeps have gone mom then you talk quicker you try and drum it all in after pit just walking about I suppose let me determine oh my god I've gotta pitch Lobster text in fact texting the devil takes all your life texting I sit at now at me when we fallen on our mat coach look in every few seconds just it seems someone's text me Kindle enormous dududududu Vodafone have new offers when you taxi tech crap what are you watching what are you how are you watching Big Brother so am i oh no we're in the same room said said what are you doing up sending this [Music] [Applause] answer machines and old people that's not a good combination are fine whatever been on rings I love me tisha Nana hello hello don't like these bloody things eater oh hello grandma hello counselor well why is that backdoor oh but won't you defrosted a conversation forget walk where our answer machine old says please leave your name and number after the beep hello my name is mum and number why you're not gonna know your own move I got my mama call this ball for a birthday and I keep saying when without a conversation and you want to angle you've got to push the red button right that do not just put it back in its holster SWA holster it's a phone not a gun we other man push the red button because if you don't push it if not homeboy you still on mine and I can't make a call from our house because I could still a you it drop room of your own talking to Pat about menopause tuck my chin I thought I tried to get your teeth but I'll try to eat your tea [Music] [Applause] that's a hair charity [ __ ] that's a hair charity [ __ ] Tony chose the borrower's put the ball down Grover really it's cutie boys I'll tell you if it's not one finger to your mother [Applause] you you

Channel: Peter Kay

Views: 3,264,056

Keywords: peter kay, peter kay comedy, peter kay comedian, peter kay full show, peter kay stand up, peter kay funny, stand up comedy, stand up comedian, comedy, stand up, comedian, funny, the tour that didn't tour tour, peter kay telephones, peter kay answering machine, peter kay texting, peter kay jokes, peter kay live, kay, peter kay tour, stand up peter kay, peter kay comedy store

Id: hX9p1OcmS-k

Length: 6min 43sec (403 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 02 2019