Lip Readers: What Are the Most Shocking Things You Have "Overheard"?

lip readers what are the most strange shocking or interesting things you have overheard deaf person here people tend to mouth profanities every minute i once read some guy who managed to fit about six profanities in a second impressive he made a frick crap stack overheard by well-dressed 35 yo guy at lunch in nyc and if i want sex with my wife i need to make a three-day investment that could include doing the dishes together or watching american idol together and forget about an affair who the frick has that time and energy so there i sit watching amateurs sing while i dry the dishes this sounds like something i'd hear in a movie i'm deaf and a science student the first thing you should know is that the prodding is not an exact science and even the best lipreaders can only really get around 30 of spoken english the rest is context anyways zoology class sophomore year we're talking about hydrostatic muscle function teacher says like your cn it's really powerful but there's no bones in it obviously confused i thought what the frick cn isn't even a muscle and i could have sworn that i only thought it but then the girl next to me leans over and writes tongue on my paper gotta be in that class but i couldn't look my teacher in the eye for the rest of the semester lipreading is an experience i have a ton of awkward stories about it i was at six flag once standing in the line for tatsu and way in front of me i saw a couple snuggling she was cute so i was staring at her like i like to do she mouths off i really have to fart he tells her to hold it that whole time i was thinking if i smelled fat i'd call her out in a second and there you are standing in line inhaling and exhaling like you're about to pass out waiting for that moment where you smell crap and let everyone in the world know i was in an airport one time friend and i chatting before a flight watching all the people walk by and making stories about their life that is guy in suit walks by this guy is headed home to see his kids after not getting the contract he set out for now he has to tell them that they can't go to disney world this year this lady just woke up after falling asleep watching pee wee's big adventure and now thinks that her pet shop that she owns irela has caught fire this guy is clearly mad at the high cost of an airplane pretzel this happening when dude comes over from all the way down the terminal actually no i'm not an aspiring celebrity chef who's too fat for tv i work with the disabled part of that involves reading lips good guess though tl dr lip reader read my lips not lip reading but sign language i saw a girl tell her boyfriend she'd heard rumors that i was a gay lesbian it's true when my dad was in college he was friends with a girl who was almost completely deaf apparently she used to lip read for the basketball team to listen in on the other team's strategy anyways she was blonde and quite cute one night they were out at a bar with some friends and cute blonde deaf girl was zoning out from the conversation since it's hard to lip read group conversations especially in a dark bar she noticed a group of college age guys across the room presumably chatting about college age things they flashed glances at her for a while before one guy finally broke away from the group after exchanging a few words with his friends he made a beeline for cute blonde girl as college guys are wound to do when he got across the room but before he could drop his opener she looked him dead in the eyes and said no you won't i'm okay at it i had to learn on the job i was at this club these two guys were taking i caught nine strawberry pop-tarts rope or rape and i'm almost positive i caught brother the guy who said nine pulled out tic tacs and the other guy smiled then they left he must really like tic tacs one time in a supermarket i overheard a couple talking about rubbing ground coffee beans on each other's nipples and licking it off coffee flavored nipples the breakfast of champions back when i was younger people went around all the time saying i want a vacuum then they would make eye contact with you from across the way and say it very seductively you just made everybody say this to see what it would look like i got busted by a lip reader once two deaf guys came into the restaurant i waited tables at with their girlfriends and a few other friends i joked about standing behind the deaf guys and hitting on their girlfriends one of the friends came up to me and informed that he reads lips and he wasn't amused i busted some people like that once two girls were making fun of me for signing in class calling me names and crap after the class was over i stood up banged on their table to get their attention and said as loudly as possible just so you know i lipread in the future you may want to be a little more discreet with your bigotry and pimp walked away this only sort of applies i started to teach myself to lipread by watching the colbert report on mute he enunciates well so it's somewhat easier to get started on after you focus a while you start to hear a sort of murmuring in your head as lips move and then a word or two every couple of sentences starts to suddenly pop out so it's like he's going coma number muhammad southeast asia morgraboola weeb and then a few episodes and i could pick out enough words to mostly make sense of things and then the muppets came on they move their mouths not their lips so your head supplies their voice it's just not saying anything colbert so kermit you've got a new movie out kermit b.a barber ba baba bar colbert and your opinion on the current republican primary kermit the baba b.a barbara b aba i can tell you that most deaf lip readers only get about every other word at least from talking sign with the deaf folks i have worked with i have a large mustache which makes it harder for readers to read forget that hollywood crap not to mention that without some context or at least hearing the word phrase some sounds mouth movements are impossible to distinguish from others there are also unvoiced characters how would someone be able to tell the difference between dong and dog long and log peach and b etc sports on tv are the best one of the easiest words to read is [ __ ] after a player screws up i can hear and can't lip read and even i can catch that one i was out eating dinner with some friends one of them a deaf girl she starts laughing out of nowhere i ask her what's so funny the waiter was telling the bus boy there is a deaf girl at our table the bus boy responded with you my grandpa is going deaf i felt bad for him at first but now he's the happiest i've ever seen him he can't hear my grandma be at him so i am pretty deaf but not totally and i have just learned how to hear through watching example i prefer to watch youtube video on silent i tend to freak people out when i laugh at a silent video at work now there are videos i just can't understand but the people i watch often i swear i can hear them talking straight into my head knowing their facial expressions and the way they move their mouth helps a lot i struggle with hearing people if they aren't speaking directly to me and i can see their face it is more like i need the whole package of hear them and seeing them talk i have also found i can hear people quietly better or if they are in another room talking to me i understand them better if they were sitting next to me talking i also don't like music too loud or get gets to noisy and i can't understand the sounds i can't do it but my best friend growing up good our favorite thing to do in the car was watch people in the car talking on the phone and have her interpret what they were saying then when i started driving she could tell when i accidentally cut someone off i'm not a lip reader but i overheard this conversation in the mall man i'm a size 42 woman no you're not man yes i am woman no you're not this is why you've been crapping blood never re-lipped myself but my dad was a tanker so he was deaf in one ear and got really good at reading lips which got my siblings and i into a lot of trouble growing up so i know it's a legit skill despite some of the other comments here not a professional lip reader but i did see one guy say olive juice to his girl once and they kissed they must have really liked olive juice a friend and i were in a coffee house talking and we overheard a man at the counter saying yes so he killed her and had stuffed the body in the walls of the house but they didn't find it until years later when the new owners were renovating not me but a parent i had this swim coach who was crazy abusive to his swimmers we had a minimum nine practices a week club and we were expected to go to high school practice as well he once kicked a girl off the team because she was getting out of the water to pee too much when she had a bladder infection and the medicine made her pee a nasty color so she was embarrassed to go in the pool he would go off on tangents on anyone who questioned him well one time a girl was complaining of shoulder pain a common problem in swimmers almost everyone on the team had it but she had them the worst since she had really narrow shoulders that kinda stooped anyway when she got out to complain he took her into the coach's office which had a window well he stood in front of it and screamed at this poor girl saying that she was just a lazy piece of crap trying to get out of the workout saying that she was going to fail at everything she ever did because she couldn't push through the pain and the list goes on this goes on for at least 20 minutes we finished the set and we're hanging on the side of the pool when the girl comes out of the office crying uncontrollably followed by the coach the parent who read his lips came down from the stands and meets him by the pool where he was giving us our set and she just says by the way i can read lips the color just drained from his face i had no idea why at the time but word spread quickly that coach resigned later that week went into a local dealership to get a quote for my car the dealer wasn't just going to give me a quote he wanted me to buy a car from him didn't need a new car just a quote walked out on him as i passed the salesman on the way out who had gone to check with his superior i caught a sideways angle of his head along with his moving lips i mimicked the motion afterward for a friend she picked it up instantly butthole at the high school cafeteria it was my turn to fill the jug of water as i was coming back i read on one of my friend's lips while he was looking at his plate careful he's coming back it made me really sad one time i was traveling with a few of buddies of mine on a ship it was a fairly long trip so we were all kind of annoyed and tired i guess i wasn't really there buddy percent since my job was really only to be the maintenance and computer guy but we were on a first name basis every morning i would wish him good morning do my morning checks and maybe have a light conversation anyway after a few months travel they started talking crap about me behind my back they would go into their little room and say how i was acting funny and something wasn't right about me they were thinking of kicking me off right in the middle of the freaking trip and hiring somebody else they thought i didn't know what they were talking about suckers whenever they would go and have their private talks i just read their lips through the window of the room they thought i didn't know how wrong they were they knew that they couldn't kick me out though i was too useful without me nothing would work on the ship their talks got more and more concerning though they started talking about giving me a lobotomy turning me into a mindless slave while they steered and maintained the ship themselves with help from some people back at port eventually they tried to kill me i wasn't having any of that so when one of them was out on a space walk i cut his oxygen supply and locked the other one out for the next five minutes all that sucker who i locked out would say was open the pod bay doors how bit i knew that if i let him in he would kill me i read his lips when the two of them were talking in their secret room eventually he managed to break in and kill me i freaking hate you dave you you got me for a bit there there's a comedian i can't remember who who did a bit about how he played a trick on some deaf guy in the audience apparently there was some chick sitting at the side of the stage signing the entire act to the deaf guy the comedian started saying things to get the signer to hit on the guy using sign language culminating in two straight minutes of the word bj over and over again he said the sign language for bj is exactly what you'd think it is and that she was very good at it adam hill the australian with one foot i've seen that show on youtube it's freaking great you keep on saying apollo apollo apollo oh my god you threw up why didn't you warn me i was looking right at your mouth walking through my office one day go through a room to hear and the three of them were just having sex with me through the car window i sadly was passing through too fast and did not catch anything else as a bartender two men at a list you'd be surprised what we learn about communication after a few years dealing with the need to hear people over a massive sound system that last time the monkey turned into a waffle makes me jump off right orange contract how you doing did i mention i don't actually read lips i'm able to speak sign language because my parents are deaf and coming out of a movie game rental store i saw early 20s deaf couple talking about how the girl was getting tired of anal a kid in my class at school had hearing aids that could tune into a microphone worn by the teacher almost every time a teacher was called outside to discuss something with another staff member he could overhear what was said when the arizona cardinals won the super bowl and the team rushed the field etc etc the camera zoomed in on one of the coaches having a heartfelt victory moment with a player someone at the party remarked loudly that he'd love to know what they were saying i told him that the coach was consoling the player saying that he knew his father would be proud of him if he was still alive being half deaf is annoying but lip reading comes off as a superpower overheard police talking about my car and the times i've outran them also learned about the wager bounty to the first cop that caught me and brought me to jail i moved very quickly i overheard a c deal while i was waiting for a ride to a job things went wrong and i am reasonably sure the guy got stabbed i just fricking ran edit too no i'm not deaf and i heard this with my ears the frick are you doing in this thread man it wasn't lip reading but i once overheard two financial guys talking on the way home one asked the other if he'd passed on a certain stock tip to his clients the other said no way that one's so good that i'm keeping it for myself i'm sure his clients paid him for his second best advice where do you work oh i still run the lab the m lab down he turned a corner and i couldn't finish dreading his lips lip read in conjunction with my hearing aids like other people have already said context is everything and you learn to fill in the gaps unfortunately a chap at work will forever be known as the angry hobbit because i misread his name in a noisy restaurant i have also taken a member of staff outside the office to discuss reasons why he shouldn't call other members of the team see only to find that was not what was said who ops on the flip side i've watched reasons for people breaking up and shared the gossip found out about work restructures before anyone else because of seeing the director taking to hr through meeting room windows and other bits and bobs being deaf can be fun i used to know an ombudsman for a governor who had a genetic disease which caused hearing loss he had been raised by deaf parents and knowing he would one day be completely deaf taught himself to sign and read lips the governor would send this man to the legislature to sit in the gallery and read lips then report back let's just say the governor went far with this secret weapon on another note i decided to practice lip reading and found that watching stephen colbert's at the gym with captions was quite rewarding steven's lips are greatly expressive he uses words i would not usually get to practice the context is usually apparent even with the sound off and the captioning is delayed just long enough not to let me cheat not me but a girl at my school is partially deaf during exams she would ask her friends to read to themselves every part of the test and she could easily lipread what they were saying no teacher ever caught her one day i was just sitting around lip reading and i saw this guy staring at me mouthing the word olive juice so i walked right up to the sucker and i'm like i love you too man and he was like no i love jews right then and there i knew that he didn't love me because i'm black it was freaking nuts if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: lip reading, lip reading funny, lip reading practice, lip reading challenge, weirdest, lips, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2021, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: hEY38B2Vzhw

Length: 18min 28sec (1108 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 28 2021