Bartenders, What Cool Things Did You See At the Bar?

bartenders of reddit what is the coolest thing you've witnessed a drunk person do at a bar i watched a completely inebriated 90-year-old scottish man play the greatest game of billiards i have ever seen at a local pub he could barely stand or speak but played like a professional that's not slurring that's just how they talk some guy said to me after i'd just served him watch my beer i'm going out for a cigarette he then threw the cigarette in the air and caught it in his mouth and walked outside like nothing had happened i had a buddy that was a pro at this he was in the navy and had nothing but time to practice it while at sea followed a guy down a flight of stairs he could hardly walk while going down the stairs he did a complete 360 and never missed a step i tried it sober and almost killed myself i've done some pretty neat stairs acrobatics while drunk you just don't care if you hurt yourself so you go for it ex-bartender assistant here worked in one of the bigger country bars in canada i've seen a fair bit of stupid crap but the best would have to be a shorter guy five feet two-ish step in when a buddy was about to get the crap kicked out of him by another drunk guy over six feet zero and reasonably built the shorter guy steps in blocks the angry drunk who promptly backhands the shorter guide to the ground normally security would have stepped in by now but it was a busy night and they hadn't seen the altercation short to guy stands back up dusts himself off and does what i can only describe as a jumping jackhammer punch to the drunk guy's face basically he jumped up and rode the guy down feeding him what looked to be five six punches guy was done before he hit he ground broken nose the works unfortunately both were kicked out due to fighting but i fought for the shorter guide to stay go to sleep go to sleep go to sleep a drunk regular accidentally takes another drunk regular's purse home she calls him to bring the purse back they were friends which he does while eating an ice cream cone she rhetorically asked where her ice cream was he proceeds to go to the gas station across the street and comes back with a whole grocery bag full of ice cream cones and not only gives one to her but to every customer at the bar and multiple to bus bartenders there was something so adorable about a room full of adults elated to be have one giant spontaneous ice cream party something so adorable about a room full of adults elated to be have one giant spontaneous ice cream party i do live event coordination and one time the caterer brought only juice boxes this comment reminded me of that nothing better than 30 plus businessmen in suits drinking juice boxes i don't know if cool is the best description but i cut a very drunk guy off one night but allowed him to sit at the bar to sober up a bit but after a couple of club sodas he stumbles over to the jukebox to play some music it was an old jukebox that required you to push four digits to play a song well this guy makes his selection and when he pushed the fourth digit he pushes himself backwards and falls flat on his back making a huge scene just as i start to make my way over to help his drunk butt up his song starts playing but it's i fall to pieces by patsy cline perfect a group of guys were being loud and obnoxious buttholes in a very full bar while playing pool and pumping tons of money into the touch tunes playing their hubas tank or whatever the frick they were playing being completely disruptive and intimidating anyone trying to use the jukebox this one random guy sits at the bar right in front of me with his girlfriend and says want to see something funny pulls up the touchdown's app and starts playing a bunch of random songs and get cue to the front of the list almost everyone in the bar started laughing at the group when mariah carey's christmas album started playing while the bros were yelling at each other to figure out who played the song went on for about an hour until they left oh random guy i wish there were more people like you out there i do that anytime eminent ouch turns bar and bros are by the screen you better believe you are getting kesha over and over again if you trying to act tough this strange kid always came in on wednesdays around 10 p.m got a pint of guinness drank it tipped ten dollars plus the price said thank you and left i always tried to strike up conversation and he wasn't rude but i could tell he didn't want to i always thought he was so cool in an enigmatic way so dumb bit and last call my buddy and i went over to one of the exits to make sure people weren't leaving with drinks city ordinance we see a very drunk girl in her early 20s approaching being helped out by two of her friends when she gets close she goes to my buddy she raises her hand up for a high five my buddy raises his hand to give her one and she immediately goes into finger guns and says wa cho's gay pointing at my friend with his hand raised looking like a dope it was so random and unexpected a true stroke of drunken genius i'll never be this cool but i'm happy that someone somewhere for one shining moment was this cool i used to work at a golf club well the horn sounded for all the golfers to come in because a storm was coming through so i've got all these guys in the men's grill drinking and having a good time when the power cuts out inky darkness can't see a thing the generators turn on after 20 seconds or so and one of the guys is standing on his chair with his pants down at his ankles and is pulling off his shirt he gets it off looks around at the room all staring at him waits a beat and says oh we're not doing this the room erupted it was just perfect work at a golf club the nine iron i watched a girl deep throat a beer bottle from the bottom she fitted all the way up to the neck it was honestly intimidating another time i watched a dude get thrown out literally out of the corner of my iic movement and i turn around to see two large bouncers standing at the door and hear a growth sound behind me it was a dude hitting the sidewalk after being thrown at least 10 feet he was completely dazed looked like they just about knocked him out after a few seconds he sits up and rubs his head as some of us approach when the door opens and wham his missing shoe nails him right in the face no clue what he did but we got him to her bench and waited with him till someone picked him up not a bartender but i play old music videos at a bar currently at work now so pardon the formatting there was this extremely drunk dude that came in one night and kept pestering the regulars and requesting some of the dumbest and cheesy scrap ever i didn't comply it was funny at first but it began to get on everyone's nerves because of how loud and obnoxious he was being about it and at some point he just gave up and starting singing aloud to whatever was on in a little corner eventually he came back up to me which got on everyone's nerves everyone began yelling at him to go home and stop bothering us but he got up close and whispers i'm leaving now can you please play delilah by the sensational alex harvey band i indulged him this time and he began singing like he did and everyone ignored him when the chorus hit though he jumped up on top of the bar and started dancing and belting it out at the top of his voice the doorman came barging and ready to pounce at the guy and almost as if to protect him the whole bar erupted in singing and dancing it was like a freaking movie the guy went from being the most hated person in the room to the clueless dude there everyone ended up buying him drinks requesting more cool stuff to sing along to and after quite some time hanging with him one of the regulars even let him crash at his because he was way too fricked up to even tell a cab driver where he lived i don't really know the details but it turns out the guy actually had just gotten back from the courts where he lost pretty much everything he had worked for his whole life to his wife in a horrible separation it also turns out he has great taste in music and he was just trying to request the cheesed music to get people to sing with him that night he's now a regular and i love getting requests from him he's also found some great friends here and goes out golfing with the rest of the regulars all the time perhaps it isn't as cool but people always talk about the power of music and i've never seen it work like that before i've also never seen a crowd's opinion of a person change in an instant like that and i don't know if i'd ever see something like that again sorry again about the formatting weird bar mob mentality he's an annoying butthole but he's our annoying butthole drunks unite we have live music friday and saturday nights one night we have a small crowd for the solo guitar player so this group of five dudes walking around on a bachelor party comes in and asks for fifty dollars in ones from me after one round of drinks showers the guitar player instead one dollar bills then tips me out then they all leave yay for musician love sorry not a bartender i was a regular poker player at a local establishment the place was mostly whiskey in cigars and had an older crowd i was around 22 bid like the atmosphere and beating drunk old dudes at poker was what paid my way through dropping out of college on this particular day my dad happens to walk in and sit down at the poker table i didn't know why he was a he isn't a card player and was never much of a drinker on this night he was pretty plastered he orders another drink and manages to slap down some money for poker chips i was doing my best to explain the finer points of no limit texas hold him to him when the action comes to him without even looking at his cards he tosses a handful of chips onto the table a decent chunk of change someone calls my dad has an ace high flush cashes in his chips calls himself a cab home and by the table a round of drinks he totally freaked your mom that night too fairly tame but here goes the restaurant i work at is mostly windows and lies on a main street in between other college dive type bars pub crawls are a common thing around these parts and we are often entertained at the parade of drunks wandering from one spot to another we are a bit higher end so we do not attract those looking for cheap thrills anyway one normal night i have a party of three ladies in the 50-70 range having a nice dinner with a spot of wine and enjoying their night from my vantage at the bar i watch as a group of five or six 21-ish age males walking past the front windows they weren't the usual drunks punks or coeds and had they not been so clean-cut what happened next wouldn't have surprised me that much when the group reached the spot in the window next to where the ladies sat one of the fellows turns to his left and licks the window right next to this one lady's face it happened all of a sudden and the look on her face was freaking priceless all of us were in shock and it took everything in me not to die of laughter i did the obligatory rush to the door and shake my fist at those darn kids but it is rather pointless when pretty much everybody in the place including the ladies is cracking up the restaurant i work at is mostly windows and lies it's like that here as well probably a week ago i saw these two guys about to get in a fight one was this big dude probably six feet three inches and 220 pounds while the other was maybe five feet nine inches and 150 pounds soaking wet anyways they're about to get into it when the small guy's buddy hops in between them and just start screaming in this thick canadian accent do you wanna go you fricking bender i'll break your hose and neck i've been playing puck since i was in my mars womb the other guy immediately backed down freaking classic we had jeopardy showing on one of the tvs and one guy sitting at the bar correctly answered every single question before any of the contestants did typical not a bartender but i was once at a bar in my hometown on halloween night everyone was in costumes i was on the patio smoking area and one dude stood out he was six feet five inches and dressed in full super real looking cowboy gear stetson hat jeans duster boots with spurs act just standing in the corner smoking cigarettes by himself all night so a bunch of people are on the patio smoking and drinking and i notice a woman dressed as a s minion or something equally silly with a cigarette in her mouth digging through her purse looking for a lighter out of freaking nowhere cowboy dan swoops inflicts open a zippo lights her cigarette tips his hat and says mom and goes back to his corner without another word it was the coolest gotham thing i've ever seen those guys are everywhere if you live in mississippi they do it because they're aware of how smooth it looks if you do it right as a bartender the coolest thing i have ever seen a drunk person do is get cut off from being overserved and be totally respectful about an old regular of mine used walk to the bar see drink 9 or 10 jack and cokes he never caused problems would just get a bit sloppy every time you told he was done we would smile thank me and pay and go that was freaking cool frick if only all of them were like that not a bartender but at some point my dad and his friend were at a bar and this [ __ ] walks up to the bar and orders a drink this dude is really freaking short like four feet or something when the bartender gives him his drink he thanks him he tosses some cash up on the counter and then the rest of the cost of drinking coins only he flips the coins up so when they land on the counter they're spinning finally he steps up to the counter with a few quarters in between his fingers jumps up and slaps his hand on the counter and the quarters hop perfectly into the tip jar then the dude just turns and walks away my dad and his friend just sat there staring at each other that guy is probably the smoothest mother alive i was certain that was going to end with i'm a little short not bartender but i used to deal blackjack hammered guy at a full table doubled up on a 18 stroke 19 and pulled a 21 made a big show about it i too like to live dangerously not a bartender but my one friend has a gyroscope for a hand no matter what he cannot spill his drink i've seen the kid fall downstairs or trip and fall on the ground and not spill a drop it's crazy i watched a guy slam a 16-ounce glass of whiskey without stopping it was a bet he had with his friend friend b bought it if freddy could drink it not throw it up and not pass out then friend a didn't have to reimburse friend b friend they partied all night and even had a few more drinks and a rice bowl we used to like to bet patrons that they couldn't drink six beers in 30 minutes maybe even their 30 dollars and pay for the beer if it is the right person but here is the kicker this isn't all that hard to do most anyone could you are basically paying someone 30 dollars to go from sober to s face drunk in 30 minutes it generally leads to hilarity not a bartender but i watched a man eat 40 mcnuggets over a 100 kuna 15 bet 40 mcnuggets cost more than 100 kuna that's as many as four tens maybe not the coolest but we had a wedding party coming after their wedding and the bride and groom got into an argument around last call she threw her wedding ring and a chair at him and they were both arrested after that was kinda cool i used to be a bartender at a restaurant bar that had about 60 regulars in there one night i was bartending this big shot guy came in after a round of golf with his buddy i wasn't familiar with the man but he was ordering plenty of fancy drinks eventually after they eat their tab is pushing 150 this lady walks in who is a regular we'll call her jan he gets all excited because he hasn't seen this lady in years apparently eventually he gives me the tab back and orders multiple rounds for the whole bar in hopes to impress jan his tab is like 650 dollars by 9 pm which is when we close on sundays tips me three hundred dollars i was like frick yeah considering he bought me a couple drinks as well and i'm a broke college kid holy cow that did not go in the direction that i thought it would but i'm glad it didn't two things one i attended bar in north miss where several famous musicians have called home at one time or another we had a regular who had been popular in the 50s and 60s got regular radio play and others recorded his songs but was probably more famous for being an influence on the rockabilly movement anyway he could be falling down drunk barely able to speak or hold his drink but if that he was handed a guitar and guided to the bra stool on stage he could sing and play like he was sober and 40 years younger as soon as he would set the guitar down he would need help to walk off the stage i've seen him finish playing hand his guitar to its owner then full face first on the floor out cold if you're curious who he was he lent his name to a famous bass player in a band known for wearing lots of face paint and singing about detroit two i worked with a czech immigrant who was one of the most beautiful women i had ever seen in my life and a great bartender a guy we all knew was in there one night and looked at her and said you ever freaked a fat boy from mississippi she acknowledged that she had not but if he would stick around until last call that would no longer be the case he did and she did buzzkill both of them are no longer with us unfortunately one time i let a group of regulars take my car to the gas station a drunk one asked me if i needed anything and i said gas and that dude filled the tank irresponsible but awesome or responsible i've told this story before but here we go again maybe not coolest but definitely most impressive a couple were outside in the smoking area trying to frick but he couldn't get it in because of the angle she was facing towards him and those of you who've tried it against a wall like this know it's not easy so rather than the chick bending over she decides to with her back against the wall still spiderman up the corner of it with her legs spread apart and gets her pee in the guy's face and he goes to town on her eating her out this only worked because of the inner wall and the smoking area is made of planks of wood making a sort of ladder i was in the office at the time and me and a couple others were just watching this on the cctv camera absolutely gobsmacked i think the best part was a bloke on his own sat in the corner and when he noticed his phone slowly raised and i assume he started recording the whole ordeal this actually happened a few weeks ago at the bar i work at there are a few tables that people can sit at and they have a waitress so there's a party of like six at one of them and all of a sudden people start cheering so we look over and one guy is stacking glasses ketchup salts peppers you name it literally anything he could get his hands on he was stacking he even had people at other tables donating to his creation his tower of glassware was about three feet tall to the point where he had to stand on his chair to keep stacking things i don't think i've ever seen my manager move faster than at that moment but ending back in my college days at a local dive bar the place was shoulder to shoulder packed and loud as heck out of nowhere some kid slowly starts to stand on one of the bristols until he has the posture of a marine after a second or two the entire bar went dead quiet and everyone was looking at him bar staff included he then slowly raised a key with a massive pile of coke on it up to his nose inhaled and threw a fist in the air the entire bar erupted in applause usually if you pull a stunt like that you'll get kicked out but something about this kid made it so god dang funny that i floated him a few shots on the house instead eonal but i was at a bar restaurant with one of those lobster claw machines think stuffed animal arcade claw game but with live lobsters in a tank some people had been trying all night with no success around midnight a really drunk guy walks and asked two girls standing next to the machine if they like lobster they say yes he puts in a dollar and gets one on his first try everyone shares and he says the other girl deserves one too he puts the first lobster on his shoulder puts in a dollar and gets another lobster on the first try again he put the lobsters on the table next to the girls says enjoy and leaves it was amazing not a bartender but best bar story i was on the road for work in texas went into a local bar around the block from my hotel i sit down order my drink and as the female bartender sets it down before me i see her look over her shoulder two local scumbags were skipping out on their check and she saw them as the snuck out the side door to the bar i asked another customer next to me did those guys just run out on their bill nods all around apparently not the first time after she had been gone for a couple minutes i thought i should go check on her catch up to the three of them a block away trying to be the hero or at least keep her from being assaulted she has already confronted them knocked one out cold and has the other in full mountain is pummeling his face in all i could do is stand back and applaud walked back to his bar with her and she bought me a beer and an order of fried pickles for being kind enough to come check on her i didn't do crap and got a free drink and food for my effort thanks again courtney see you the next time i'm in town not the coolest possibly the grossest i watched this very large man wobbling at the bar holding on as if he was gonna get thrown out of orbit i instinctively give him some water and tell him to straighten up or he was out chugging the water he just grunted then started heaving i slowly backed up and got a bouncer i'll be damned if i'm cleaning up bath we watch this man start barfing in his cup we went over to escort him out and he was so committed to his sobriety he told me his bath cup was his drink then drank it he drank a cup of bath straight face then told us he was sober i admire his dedication dude was hammered and thrown out of the bar guys with a couple of his buddies trying to help him out stand him up female server comes with a cup of water for the guy and he starts screaming calling her a bee in to go frick herself well just as his last insult leaves his mouth his girlfriend pulls around the corner gets out and just starts laying into him slaps him in the face calls him and butthole and leaves do deserve it not a regular bartender but i occasionally help in a small bar one time i was there it was already late around 4am only a few people inside when a guy enters inside he was clearly drunk beef eaten with a small guitar similar with a ukulele and at first my boss thought we should get rid of him but then the dude starts playing with his guitar and everybody starts singing folk songs and everyone asking for more drinks again and again it was a good night i hate those late nights when it's 4 p.m if you are new to the channel you can subscribe i publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music] bye for now

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: bartender, bartending 101, bartending, coolest thing ever, coolest things, coolest things seen, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2021, people of reddit, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: y2Q3C0LjtXE

Length: 24min 29sec (1469 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 20 2021