Legal reasons for Divorce | Grafted Church

nothing i don't know what they're laughing about all right before i get started can i get you guys to do something for me this today what i'm talking about is a difficult topic and can i get you guys just to extend your arms up here and [Music] pray for me as i present this would you guys do that for me heavenly father i just pray that you would be with us today holy spirit i pray that you would guide my words that you would guide this message lord that you would speak and now would everyone take your hands and just put them over like behind your ears kind of cup your ears with them all right lord i pray for the ears of each person here or that they would hear from you or that they would hear your words and they would receive what you have to say we praise you we love you in the name of yeshua amen all right thanks guys i feel a little better now all right this is one of those topics that every time it comes up i know somebody in the room is going to be uncomfortable with it for one reason or another okay so it's a difficult topic and it's difficult for multiple reasons it's difficult because what the bible says on this topic can be confusing is difficult because what the bible says on this topic is limited and there's multiple scenarios that people will say what about this what about this what about this what about this and the bible doesn't address that particular question so when those come up it's like well i'm not sure exactly how to answer your question because the bible doesn't specifically address that scenario and so whenever when i'm addressing this topic today i want you to be aware that i understand there are scenarios that you may encounter that the bible does not address and on in those scenarios i want to encourage you uh to seek the lord for answers on that okay and to seek wise counsel for answers on that um and i think that's that's kind of what we have to do with certain scenarios when there's things in our life that come up and the bible doesn't specifically address how to deal with that situation we need to pray about it we need to seek wise counsel and look for answers and i think sometimes there's a reason the bible doesn't address it and it's it's not because god didn't think that far ahead it's because i think he wants us to press in sometimes and to search things out and not just be spoon-fed answers and just say oh well here you know just just do this and everything will be okay i think sometimes he wants us to dig deeper and he wants us to wrestle with things and he wants us to really try to weigh things out and figure out what to do but as as i'm going through the gospels we're we're still going through the gospels chronologically i'm not sure how long it's going to take for us to finish at the rate i'm going i don't know we're going to cover 12 verses today in matthew and it's like i said this is a difficult topic this is actually the second time we've seen this topic in the book of matthew it was a topic that came up earlier in matthew in chapter five in the beatitudes in the sermon on the mount so as he was teaching on the sermon of the mount we looked at this topic and as we've gone through the gospels here we are a couple years later we're hitting this topic again and i think maybe there's a reason why it's in there multiple times we see it a couple times in matthew we see it once in mark i think a couple times in luke and so it's kind of we'll see multiple times throughout the gospels and it's a topic that uh paul also dresses in a few different places so i know you guys are all dying to hear what i'm going to talk about today right i'm prolonging it it's like it's like tearing the band-aid off really slow right so anyway all that to say i know this is a difficult topic and i'm trying to be sensitive with it but i also want you to know that i don't want to pander or placate or dumb it down or soften it or water it down or make it less of whatever you know i want to give you this is what the bible says and that's it okay is that okay with you guys all right tuck your toes back just a little bit matthew chapter 19 starting verse 1. now it came to pass when yeshua had finished these sayings that he departed from galilee and came to the region of judea beyond the jordan and great multitudes followed him and he healed them there the pharisees also came to him testing him and saying to him is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason and he answered and said to them have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female and he said for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh so then they are no longer two but one flesh therefore what god has joined together let not man separate they said to him why then did moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away he said to them moses because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to divorce your wives but from the beginning it was not so and i say to you whoever divorces his wife except for sexual and marries another commits adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery his disciples said to him if such is the case of the man with his wife it is better not to marry but he said to them all cannot accept this saying but only those to whom has been given for there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake he who is able to accept it let him accept it so like i said this is the second time this topic is coming up in the gospel of matthew the first time was in chapter 5 during the sermon on the mount and we see that the pharisees asked him a question i'm going to try to be careful not to just teach the same message that i taught back in matthew chapter five um you know i i'm there's going to be a little bit of information that that may be repeated uh just to give you a little background of the story but uh i assure you that this is not the same message i taught in matthew chapter five um just there might be a little bit of overlap on the on the background context i'm about to give the first is yes question is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason okay this is this was a topic that was highly debated and discussed in the first century the jews were very divided on this topic and it had to do with the interpretation of deuteronomy 24. and we're going to look at deuteronomy 24 here in a minute but it was they were arguing about how that should be interpreted and i actually found some really interesting stuff in connection with the messiah when looking at their arguments that i hadn't seen before i'm gonna i'm gonna point that out here in a little bit but yeshua's response they said is is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason at all and the reason they said that is because there's one group of the pharisees who said you can divorce your wife for any reason you want you can you know if she burns the food if you just don't like the way she looks anymore if you find somebody who you like better whatever you know any reason you want you to divorce your wife and there's another group of pharisees who said no no no you can only divorce for sexual immorality and so those were the two sides of the argument and so they're expecting yeshua to give one of those two responses can you divorce your wife for any reason at all or is it only for sexual immorality but his response was have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female and said to them the two shall become one flesh so then they are no longer two but one flesh therefore what god has joined together let not man separate so they said is it lawful for you to voice your wife for any reason he said god has joined man and woman together to become one and let not man tear them apart was his response you see that he was saying that it shouldn't shouldn't be done that's his first initial response is you're not supposed to get divorced you're not supposed to tear apart that that covenant that god has put together and so yeshua is presenting the idea that god intends marriage to be lifelong and notice notices he's quoting from genesis he says have you not read he's going right back to the very first book of the bible very first book of the torah the very first part of the bible where god is introducing us to his life you know to life as his people he creates eve gives her to adam and says here this is your wife this is how marriage is supposed to be doesn't intend for divorce to happen that's not part of his plan his plan is that you get married and you stay married and as notice it was a man and a woman i've mentioned this before there's not options here for how you connect in god's plan of marriage it's one man and one woman it's not one man and two women it's not one man and five women it's not two men it's not two women it's one man and one woman and that's the way god designed it to be that's what it's supposed to be satan is trying to corrupt that in the world we live in today satan is trying to destroy what marriage looks like he's trying to mar it and corrupt it and make it into something it's not trying to get it legalized to do all kinds of wicked things and call it marriage that's not what god created though god created us to be one man and one woman and but god doesn't want divorce to take place he wants us to be united one flesh for a lifetime and the reason for that is because divorce is breaking of a vow number 30 chapter 2 says if a man makes a vow to the lord or swears an oath to bind himself by some agreement he shall not break his word he shall do according to all that proceeds out of his mouth and so when you get married you're taking a vow right standard wedding vows sound something like this i take you to be my lawfully wedded wife to having to hold from this day forward to love and to cherish for better for worse for richer for poor in sickness and in health until death do us part and hereto i pledge to you my faithfulness right that's the standard wedding vow that's typically what you'll hear when you go to a wedding as i i vow i i'm entering this covenant with you i am making this agreement that no matter what better worse rich or poor sick health the good the bad the ugly whatever happens i'm sticking with you that's that's the commitment you make when you put that ring on your finger right and this is these vows are said before witnesses and these vows are said before god and the bible says when you make a vow like that you're supposed to you're buying you're binded to it you're supposed to stick with it and that you shall not break your word this is also a lot of the issue when when you talk about let's go back to matthew 5 for a minute so yeshua said you know if you look at a woman lustfully you've committed adultery in your heart why does he say that because your eyes you're not being faithful with your eyes right your eyes are looking at other other women and saying you know what maybe that other woman maybe i like her a little better than this one right that's ultimately what you're doing as you're you're you're looking at another woman in the way that you should only be looking at your wife and so he says you're you're cheating you're committing adultery because you're not faithful with your eyes does that make sense he says therefore what god has joined together let no man separate this value enter when you make a covenant of marriage you are taking a vow before god and he says this is binding and let not man separate what god has joined together the pharisees however did not like that response and i imagine there's a lot of people in the world today who don't like that response either so they followed up with a second question and they said this is a challenge notice you know they said is it lawful to divorce your wife for any reason at all and he says let god not let man not separate what god has joined together you shouldn't shouldn't get divorced basically is what he's saying but they challenged him and their second question is why did moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her away see this is a separate question then the first question the first question is can you divorce your wife for any reason you want second question is why did moses give a certificate why did moses command to give a certificate and descend her away and yeshua explained moses because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to divorce your wives but from the beginning it was not so so again he brings it back to genesis 1. he says in the beginning that's it was not so god did not intend it that way but because your hearts are hard moses gave permission for that so what does that mean because of the hardness of your heart he's talking to the pharisees and he's saying to the pharisees because of the hardness of your hearts god allowed you to get divorced i think this is a i think this is two things he's referring to here if you look throughout the bible you look up that phrase heart heart you're going to find two things one is you're going to find pharaoh right you remember the story of of the exodus he said god hardened pharaoh's heart fair heart and pharisee pharaoh had a hard heart god didn't uh god sent the plagues because of pharaoh's hard heart uh pharaoh's heart in his heart so god sent more plagues like this phrase hard heart has used a pharaoh dozens of times throughout exodus and the only other place i could find it is in ezekiel in the old testament so you have pharaoh over and over and over again having a hard heart and so when yeshua said because of the hardness of your hearts they're going to think of pharaoh and then they're going to think of what ezekiel wrote and those are the two things that these pharisees are going to think of when he makes that phrase and so exodus 9 35 just an example of pharah says so the lord so the heart of pharaoh was hard neither would he let the children of israel go as the lord has spoken so you know that's just one example of dozens in exodus but the ezekiel one is interesting ezekiel chapter 3 verse 7 says but the house of israel will not listen to you because they will not listen to me for all the house of israel are impotent and hard-hearted so god is telling ezekiel the reason israel is not listening to you prophet ezekiel of israel the reason they're not listening to you is because they don't listen to me god and the reason for that is because they have a hard heart so ezekiel is linking hard-heartedness with not listening to the voice of god or the voice of the prophet and so a hard-hearted person is someone who does not listen to the voice of god and we see that was exactly the case for pharaoh as well that he would not listen to moses he would not listen to the voice of god he would not listen to what moses was saying thus says the lord and pharaoh hardened his heart and these plagues just keep on coming so yeshua's response because of the hardness of your heart indicates that he's saying because you don't listen to god because you don't listen to the voice of god he allowed for divorce that was basically what he was saying yeshua was telling the pharisees that if they were seeking reasons to get divorced patrons just because they were seeking reasons to get divorced he's saying you have a hard heart because you are looking for a reason to get divorced you have a heart heart because that was the original question right can you divorce your wife for just any reason no yeshua gave an additional ex i'm sorry yeshua gave an exception and a condemnation after this though right so he says in verse 9 and i say to you whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery so this is an exception but it's also a condemnation exception is except for sexual immorality this is one of those verses that has troubled me for a long time right is what is he saying here whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality causes her to be an adulteress well if she committed sexual immorality she caused herself to be an adulteress right you know if she went out and played the harlot and she committed sexual immorality she has caused herself to be an adulteress but he says that except for that case if you divorce your wife for any other reason then you are causing her to be an adulteress so he's casting the blame on the husband so the wife hasn't caused herself to be an adulteress the husband is the one causing her to be an adulteress and what does he mean by this and so there is um there's a few different things to consider you know one is the the idea that she would probably most likely get remarried you know if you divorced her the likelihood of her getting remarried is very high especially at that time women were not really able to provide for themselves so they either had to go live with a family member or they needed to be married so they could have somebody to provide for them they they didn't own land typically they didn't have jobs typically where they made income the husband was the provider the husband was the landowner and he's the one that provided all those things really that's the reason for the the dowry right when you get married you your wife receives a dowry and she saves that up because that's what she will have to live on if something goes sour and she ends up getting divorced or you die then she has that dowry to live on and that's all she really would have had and so the idea that she would probably most likely get married again is very likely so she he divorces his wife and she goes and finds another husband and yeshua says that you've caused her to commit adultery well how is that adultery i thought she got divorced right and i have looked at this passage numerous times and you guys have probably heard numerous different sermons on this topic from me and heard numerous different opinions on this topic from me um you know when i presented this uh four or five years ago on unlearn i had presented three basically three possibilities and again this is one of those things that really causes you to wrestle but i think primarily what he's doing here is he's saying the responsibility is is on the husband's head the husband bears the responsibility and so whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries someone else commits adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery and so he is putting the weight and the responsibility on the husband and so i want to look at uh the actual debate between the jews in the first century on what constitutes a legal divorce and i i'm i've actually got a quote here from the international standard bible encyclopedia and i believe they are sourcing some of the information from some rabbinical sources but it says there were two schools among the jewish rabbis that of shamai and that of hillel shamai and his followers maintained that erwath dabar this is the the word that's used in deuteronomy 24. uh signify nothing less than unchastity or adultery okay so there's the argument is about that phrase okay and so it's and we're going to look at deuteronomy 24 in a minute to see what that phrase is but uh is should a man divorce his wife because he finds some uncleanness in her or some unchastity in hers is how most translations translate but it's over this phrase arwath and dabar signify nothing less than unchastity or adultery and argued that only this crime justified a man in divorcing his wife hillel and his disciples went the other extreme they placed great stress on the words if she find no favor in his eyes immediately preceding our wealth dabar in deuteronomy 24 1 and contended that divorce should be granted for the flimsiest reason such as the spoiling of a dish either by burning or carelessly seasoning some of the rabbis boldly taught that a man had a perfect right to dismiss his wife if he found another woman he liked better or who was more beautiful so this is this is recorded in historical documents that these are the debates that are taking place between the jews so one side hillel says you can divorce your wife for any reason you want just if you find anything that you you want to get rid of her just get rid of her and then the shamay side says nope you can't do that it has to be something very serious it has to be sexual immorality of some kind so what we what we see in the world today is people siding with hillel right they're saying you know what just if you have anything at all that you want to get divorced for just just move on and that's why so many people in the world today are divorced because they treat marriage like a flimsy thing and you know they they get angry at their husband or they get angry at their wife and they're like you know what i think i'm gonna find somebody i like better or you know you just it's just not what i was hoping you'd be you know whatever that might mean or i just don't love you anymore or i just don't know if i ever did love you or whatever people are always looking for reasons and excuses and sometimes i wish we lived in a society where we just had arranged marriages and you just get stuck with somebody because you know what stick you two together you got to stay married no divorce options figure it out in those scenarios they usually figure out how to make it work right they learn to work together they learn to love each other they learn to cooperate they learn to help they learn to to make a family and in our culture today we we've turned it into some mushy oh i've got butterflies in my tummy for this person so i think i'm going to go marry them and they call that love the bible says you're commanded to love people you're commanded to love your wife you're commanded to love your husband you're commanded to love your neighbor you're commanded to love your brother you're commanded to love your enemy right i don't see ooey gooey mushy feelings about someone that is an enemy but we're commanded to love them what does that mean well the bible also says that the torah teaches us how to love so how do you love a love is treating someone correctly if you love your neighbor you don't steal from them for one right because stealing from your neighbors not being a loving neighbor right if you love your neighbor you're not going to speak badly about them because speaking badly about somebody is not showing them love right if you love your wife you're not going to go commit adultery with somebody else why because that's not showing love to your wife right and it's also not showing love to your neighbor because if you went to your neighbor's wife you know that's not showing left your neighbor right like these are practical examples of how the torah teaches you to love okay so all of the commandments teach us something about love either how to love god or how to love each other love is not an emotion you have towards someone love is how you treat someone what you do to that person how you interact with them are you showing them love in practical ways and how are you serving them how are you speaking about them how are you treating them but so this debate between hillel and shamai was very significant and that's why they brought it up to yeshua more than once they're asking him to weigh on in this what do you say you side with hillary or shemin and basically yeshua's answer was neither he said let not god separate or let not man separate what god has joined together god created him male and female and the two should become one flesh that was his answer and they said for what reason can you divorce let not man separate them but then he went on and he eventually sided with shamai so he actually took a stricter stance in the shema if you realize that shemai said you can divorce your wife for sexual immorality and yeshua said let not man separate what god has joined together. so he took a stricter position that shamai but then he he eventually agreed with shamai's exception what's interesting is there is i found this in a commentary is that there is a jewish tradition that believes that in messianic times the stricter rulings of shamai will become the standard so when messiah comes he will set forth the standard the stricter standard of shamai i thought that was really interesting because in this scenario that's what he presented was the stricter standard even though the the norm was the hillel standard in that day and even still today that seems to be the norm is the hillel standard that if you you know if your wife burns the toast you can divorce her right but yeshua is putting forth the the stricter understanding of this and there's a jewish tradition that says that that's going to be a sign of the messiah i thought that was really interesting so when yeshua agreed with shamai i think it may have been a subtle hint to them hey pay attention the messiah's here but yeshua said the only lawful reason for divorce is sexual immorality now is that the only reason the bible gives is another question we need to think about because there are other scenarios the bible talks about so why did yeshua only mention this one when we know that there's other places in the bible where we're given reasons for divorce uh was yeshua trying to present you know a complete list and say you know check the boxes is it one of these three things or one of these five things or whatever and if so then you're okay i don't think he was trying to put forth a list to say well it's this this this this this and nothing else i think what he was presenting was not meant to be a list but was meant to say you really need to consider what you're doing you really need to make sure this is as serious as you think it is because you're about to tear apart a marriage are you sure that's what you want to do i think that's what he's presenting here but yeshua added something here he said the only lawful reason for divorce is sexual immorality which is a direct violation of the one flesh integrity and i've used that phrase before right the one flesh integrity of marriage that's what sexual immorality does is it destroys the integrity of that one flesh where the two become one so any any kind of sexual immorality messes up that integrity messes up that one flesh so whether that be fornication whether that be adultery whether that be pornography whether that be whatever anything that you're doing that defiles the integrity of the one flesh between the husband and wife i think falls into that category of sexual immorality so but yeshua said that he added something he said if if if you get divorced for an unacceptable reason if you have an improper divorce if if you get divorced for a reason that is not lawful or acceptable he says that you're causing adultery to take place he says you're committing adultery and you're causing her to commit adultery and that's what really makes this one difficult and i know this is not a fun topic because i know just i without even knowing you guys just looking at statistics okay just knowing the statistics of marriage and divorce in america and the mer the statistics of marriage and divorce in the church i know that at least half of you have probably been divorced just by looking at statistics not even by looking at your faces but i also know that a lot of you have been divorced and i know a lot of you have been remarried and so i know this is a difficult topic okay i know it is um and i don't want to i don't want to be i don't want to justify anybody and say oh you're fine don't worry about it but i also um i don't want to i don't want to make you leave with with uh unnecessary guilt either does that make sense because you know there's you're looking at this and you say well yeah i got divorced and then i got remarried and yeshua says that's adultery so am i living in a perpetual state of adultery i've had that question asked to me okay and i understand the concern for that and i don't think that's what he's saying okay i don't think he's saying you're living in a perpetual state of adultery i think that is it's expected that if you get divorced you're probably going to get remarried i think the deuteronomy 24 puts that forth and somebody has asked me before that well you know so i'm on my second marriage do i need to divorce in my second marriage because am i living in sin by having a second marriage i don't think so i don't think two wrongs make a right i don't think tearing up a second marriage is gonna fix the fact that you already got you know remarried or fixed the fact that you already broke a first marriage i don't think breaking a second marriage is gonna fix the fact that you broke the first one that makes sense two wrongs don't make a right so i don't think if you're on your second marriage i don't think you need to run out and dissolve the marriage i don't think that's the answer so please understand what i'm not saying okay so back to the question so it says the husband causes the wife to commit adultery this places the guilt on the husband not the wife why is that that's because god created man to be the head of the house he bears the responsibility of the family of the home of the decisions that are being made and at that time it was actually very rare for a woman to initiate a divorce and from what i understand it was not even like it wasn't even possible in jewish culture at that time for a woman to initiate the divorce the husband had to initiate divorce from what i understand later on in later on down in history that that changed but for a long time the woman couldn't file for divorce she couldn't give the certificate it had to come from the man and so all a woman could do is she could abandon the marriage she could leave and go run away and hide but in that scenario she's not actually divorced she's just a runaway bride right and so uh in the situation where the husband has to initiate the divorce what most likely would happen in many cases if the wife wanted a divorce she would just make life miserable and unbearable until her husband finally gave her one is most likely what would happen you know that contentious wife is like you know it's better to live on the corner of a roof than have a contentious wife you know the the proverbs talks about this contentious wife i think that's what this is referring to i think that's what proverbs is referring to is this wife who is causing contention causing strife causing trouble why because she wants out of the marriage she's not happy and she's going to make you miserable until you finally give her what she wants right that's the contentious wife it's because she doesn't either doesn't want to file for divorce or if she doesn't have the right to file for divorce in most cases at that time but the husband bears responsibility why because god has placed that responsibility as a husband on the husband as the head the father also bears the responsibility for the decisions in the home okay that's why if a woman makes a vow her husband or her father can nullify it because they bear the responsibility so if you're unmarried in your home and you're you make a vow and your dad hears you he can say nope you're not gonna you're not gonna keep that vow i nullify that vow you will not do that and is nullified because your father heard it same thing you know if you're married you make a vow and your husband hears it he says nope not going to stand for that you will not make that vow i nullify that vow that that vow is canceled because your husband and your father has the right to do so according to the torah because they bear the responsibility so if the husband divorces his wife for an unbiblical reason the husband is guilty of causing her to commit adultery because what he has done is he put her in a situation where she has to find another husband so he's causing adultery that makes sense because he has done it in an unlawful manner he is he is he's pursued divorce in a way that the bible does not say is legal and so he has put his wife out and put her in a situation where she is vulnerable and she's gonna have to get remarried and so she is going to inevitably be committing a form of adultery because she is getting married to somebody else who's not her first husband and you're like well wait a minute i thought if she's divorced why is it adultery i don't know i don't i don't because if if she's divorced you would think well why is it adultery she's no longer married right she has a certificate it i think it has to do with that because god didn't sanction that divorce because it's supposed they're supposed to be married there is one husband and wife one flesh till death do you part and so if it's an illegal divorce well then it's it's not seen as a as a legal divorce right you're divorced for a reason that's not legal not permissible by god then you're not technically divorced in god's eyes and so you're committing adultery in that situation that's that's my best guess at it um now this is meant to give protection for the innocent wife okay so you have in this scenario let's go back to the wife who burns the dinner hillel says you know if your wife burns the dinner or doesn't season it the way you like it you can divorce her well she's done nothing wrong she's done no crime she's not an adulteress but you're kicking her out of your house and you're saying i don't want you anymore you're a horrible cook get out okay well what is this woman to do what is she going to do i mean she's now abandoned living on the street and can't even cook so right so what's this woman going to do she's got basically she has two options in that time right i mean she either has to figure out how to provide for herself or she's got to find somebody else who can provide for her so she's got to start working and earning money and find a place to live and provide for herself and oftentimes that ended up leading her down the road of harlotry okay and the other option she's got to find a man someone who's going to provide for her and take care of her and tolerate her cooking so you know those are her options i'm trying to make it a little lighter i know this is a heavy topic um but so she's innocent though she has not committed a violation of the covenant she she just burned dinner yet she has caused about you know she is she's become an adulteress because her husband kicked her out he's forced her to commit adultery and so he bears the guilt of that because she was innocent that makes sense so he bears the weight of causing adultery she does not bear the weight of being an adulteress that's the way i'm understanding this does that make sense so i think this is a a form of protection for the innocent and this is also why the certificate of divorce was given okay so moses said give her a certificate put it in her hand and send her away why does he need she needs a certificate to prove that she's actually been divorced so her husband can't come back later and say hey what are you doing with my wife she's my wife if he changes his mind and you know she goes and finds another man that he all of a sudden changes his mind he's like no no that's my wife bring her back and she says no i have the certificate here you divorced me i'm free to marry another it was it was a protection for the wife um but in mark's gospel yeshua indicates that the person who initiates the divorce is the one who commits adultery so this is slightly different mark 10 11 and 12 it says so he said to them whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her and if a woman divorces her husband and marries another she commits adultery now the wording here could be uh played with slightly as far as the translation goes it could be something more along the lines of whoever divorces his wife to marry another it could be what he's saying which you know it makes it a lot more easy to understand that way if you say well he divorces his wife to marry this other person yeah that i can see that obviously being adultery um but that word and marries another kind of leaves it ambiguous and open-ended like well was it did he divorce his wife and then three weeks later got married to this other girl because you know he just thought she was prettier or you know did he get divorced 15 years ago and didn't even know this person finally one day came across her and was like oh hey would you be my wife like both scenarios what he's talking about or is it more likely he's talking about divorce his wife in order that he would marry someone else i think it's most likely that i think that that's that's most likely what it's referring to is that if you divorce your wife to marry someone else that that is adultery but it's really i don't think it's conclusive it could be saying whoever marries someone else or divorce his wife and marry someone else um i you know i'm just going to leave that open to you guys to look it up study it pray about it seek it out but it places the guilt on the one who initiates the divorce so it says if he divorces his wife and marries another he commits adultery against her and if a woman divorces her husband and marries another she commits adultery okay so it's it's placing the guilt on whoever is initiating this thing um so if nothing else this should cause married people to be very hesitant seeking divorce right you know what i'm saying i mean these these things are very heavy very scary you know you think well hang on a second i you know i don't want to i don't want to be guilty of adultery and i don't want to be guilty of causing someone else to bear the weight of their adultery so this should cause us to be hesitant about seeking divorce and it should really cause us to consider the reason for seeking divorce and i think that's that's something we need to to think through is you know we look at the bible and like i said it's it doesn't cover every situation you're going to get into that's what i said to begin with there are such situation scenarios that you may encounter in a marriage that the bible just doesn't talk about you know like i hear women ask questions like well what about if my husband beats me and the children you know like i've got bruises all over me because he's always punching me in the face and kicking me in the stomach and beating me up i got broken bones i i would counsel that woman get out right but the bible doesn't say that the bible doesn't say if your husband if your husband punches you in the face you can divorce him it doesn't say that but if you came to me and said my husband has been punching me in the face and he broke some ribs i would say get out and save your life okay i want you to understand where i'm going with this i'm trying to be true to what the bible says but also say you know there's there's situations that the bible doesn't cover and we need to be aware of that and and realize that sometimes we have to make decisions that are hard decisions that we don't have easy answers in the bible okay that makes sense so this whole conversation this whole question is is well how do you interpret deuteronomy 24 deuteronomy 24 1-4 says when a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her and he writes and he writes her certificate of divorce puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house when she has departed from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of the house or if the latter husband dies who took his wife then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled for that is an abomination before the lord and you shall not bring sin on the land which the lord your god is giving you as an inheritance so you know it says if you divorce your wife and she marry somebody else you can never marry her again but it doesn't say she can never you know if you divorce her she can't marry a second time right it just kind of assumes that she's gonna get married again if your divorce wife and she goes and marry somebody else it's just kind of given as like this is this is a given she's gonna go marry somebody else uh but this is after that happens you cannot take her back you cannot marry her again once she's had us gotten married the second time no matter what even if her second husband dies you still can't marry her again so but this is the the tour command that yeshua's talking about that the pharisees were asking concerning and so you know as that first very first verse it says if a man takes a wife marries her it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes is the phrase the hillel focused on and because he has found some uncleanness in her is the phrase that shamai was focusing on was the uncleanness in her so those are the two phrases that they were arguing about which is it because she finds no favor because he finds uncleanness but what we see here is that marriage covenant is a conditional covenant that can be ended through divorce okay that's something that the bible presents two kinds of covenants there's conditional and there's unconditional right so conditional covenant is you have two parties that agree to something and both parties have to hold up there into the bargain if one of the parties fails to hold up there into the bargain then that nullifies the covenant and that they can part ways right an unconditional covenant is one that no matter what this covenant cannot be broken so that's the kind of covenant that god typically makes like for example when he put a rainbow in the sky right he says i will never again flood destroy the earth with a flood the way that i did here and as as a sign of the covenant i'm putting my rainbow in the sky that is an unconditional covenant there's nothing we can do to break that covenant that is a covenant that god made unconditionally and there's nothing we can do to that where god will say you know what i'm gonna go ahead and i know i said that i'm gonna never destroy the earth again with a flood but uh you know you guys just you crossed the line so i'm going to remove that rainbow and uh you guys hold your noses because here comes the flood right that's that's not going to happen because that is an unconditional covenant god says there is no condition in which he will break that covenant that's also the kind of covenant that god made with abraham when he passed through the pieces right you know abraham fell asleep and then that that torch of god passed between the pieces and so that only one person was responsible for the weight of that entire covenant abraham was not able to pass between the pieces in order to participate in the covenant because he fell asleep god passed through the pieces on his own so god bears the full weight of that covenant that he made with abraham so but marriage is a covenant between two people and it is a conditional covenant so they're both parties have uh responsibility in this covenant one breaks the covenant then it can be dissolved and done away with so that's why the question is well what is what is what constitutes a legal divorce that was the pharisees question can you get a divorce for any reason at all or does it have to be something specific and so they were discussing the legal circumstances that make a divorce binding and legal this was not a debate about if remarriage after divorce was legal notice that was not the question they didn't say well after you divorce your wife is it legal for her to marry somebody else that was never asked that's actually assumed in deuteronomy 24 that they will get remarried they weren't debating about whether or not you could get remarried after a divorce they were just asking what is a legal divorce look like what is the legal reason for divorce so is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason yeshua's answer is no it's not lawful to divorce your life for any reason and his response was meant to discourage divorce and to cause us to really consider whether or not that's what we really want to do right [Music] i want to look at a couple of uh other reasons we find in the bible for divorce because there are a few other places in the bible where we are we see reasons given that divorce is okay and so does the bible say that only sexual immorality is the only possible reason yeshua says that but we see in the bible there's a few other examples listed so do we do we say yeshua is contradicting the rest of the bible or do we say that his response was not meant to be a conclusive exhaustive list i lean more towards his answer was not meant to be an exhaustive list i think he was giving a limited response in order to show that there are limited reasons for why you should get divorced so for example ezra chapter 10 then ezra the priest stood up and said to them you have transgressed and have taken pagan wives adding to the guilt of israel now therefore make confession to the lord god of your fathers and do his will separate yourselves from the peoples of the land and from the pagan wives so he he tells them divorce your pagan wives that's it's a sin that you have married pagan women divorce them get them out of your house get rid of those pagan wives okay because why israel was told not to marry pagan women not to take wives of the pagans and so numerous times in the old testament we see that pagan wives caused israelites to turn away from god into worship idols that was that was the arab balaam right balaam couldn't curse israel so he advised balak hey send in the women send in the women and they'll lead them into idolatry and sexual immorality why because women are the downfall pagan women come in and lead men into paganism and so god says stay away from those pagan women okay they're gonna they're gonna lead you in the wrong direction and so when israel married pagan women ezra said divorce them get rid of them get them out of your house this is one instance where they were commanded to divorce their wives okay it wasn't just permissible it was you need to get rid of these women get them out but i want to also point out that there's a difference between a pagan and an unbeliever because there's a lot of people who say well i have an unbelieving husband or i have an unbelieving wife that's the same as a pagan i gotta divorce him uh no that's not the same thing a pagan is not an unbeliever i mean yes they are but that's they're not identical they're not the same thing okay pagan is someone who worships other gods a pagan is someone who has multiple gods they worship idols they they you know a pagan is someone who has many gods and many idols that they worship right that's paganism an unbeliever is just someone who doesn't believe an atheist is an unbeliever you wouldn't you know they're not defined as a pagan that defines an unbeliever they don't have a belief in god or someone who like for example a jew who doesn't believe yeshua is the messiah could be considered an unbeliever because they don't believe yeshua is the messiah so they would be called an unbeliever that doesn't mean they're pagan right so just because it's because they don't believe in yeshua makes them an unbeliever because they worship many gods makes them a pagan okay so there's a difference but paul spoke about having an unbelieving husband or wife and so here's his advice about that situation first corinthians 7 starting verse 12 but to the rest i not the lord say if any brother has a wife who does not believe and she is willing to live with him let him not divorce her okay if you have an unbelieving wife and she's willing to stay with you paul says don't divorce her and if a woman has a husband who does not believe if he is willing to live with her let her not divorce him for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband otherwise your children would be unclean but now they are holy but if the unbeliever departs now here's here's the exception paul gives if the unbeliever departs let him depart a brother or sister is not under bondage in some case in such cases but god has called us to peace for how do you know a wife whether you will save your husband or how do you know a husband whether you say we will save your wife so he says if if your unbelieving husband or wife is willing to stay married and stay with you then don't divorce them stay with them and hopefully they'll get saved in the process that's that's what he's getting to here right how do you know whether you will save your husband or your wife so if they're an unbeliever and they're willing to stay with you stay with them and keep praying for them and hopefully they'll get saved that's what paul's saying but he says if they're an unbeliever and they don't want to stay married to you because of your faith then let them go let them depart it's okay you're not bound to them that was what he said but he's saying put the ball in their hands let them make that decision you don't divorce them let them leave you so he's encouraging us to remain married even if our husband or wife isn't a believer but he gives that exception if they leave then let him leave you're not bound in that situation you can you're free and and i think that indicates free to remarry even okay um the bible also gives instruction to believing couples in first corinthians seven right before that in verses 10 and 11 it says now to the married i command yet not i but the lord so he's saying this is a command from god a wife is not to depart from her husband but even if she does depart let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband and a husband is not to divorce his wife so this is a commandment from the lord to married believers he's saying you're you're not supposed to get divorced if you're believers if you're walking in the lord if you guys are pursuing a godly marriage then you shouldn't be getting divorced right i stepping on toes yet i feel like i feel like just the expression of people's faces is pain and i don't know if it's just is my voice irritating to you are you tired is the chair uncomfortable or am i making you uncomfortable with what i'm saying i'm not quite sure i know this is a hard one i said it already i know and i also know that the room is getting thinner so there are more empty chairs now than when i started but paul is saying married couples if you are a godly married couple if you're both believers he says a wife is not to depart from her husband but even if she does depart let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband her husband is not to divorce his wife again this is a hard a hard thing to say right but what he's saying is reconciliation is ultimately god's desire for his people and we see this throughout the old testament even in this situation where god divorced israel what was the case he said i'm divorcing israel because of her harlotry because of her unfaithfulness this is a legal reason for divorce that yeshua gives right is immorality unfaithfulness this is a god in jeremiah he says god says that he is divorcing israel because of her unfaithfulness because she's played the harlot with other gods but yet also in jeremiah he says yet return to me come back to me restore i want to restore the relationship with israel isaiah and hosea also talk about this right so god's ultimate desire is for reconciliation take place the bible says that god wants to reconcile with the people he divorced and he says that he wants us to reconcile with each other isaiah 54 says do not fear for you will not be ashamed neither be disgraced for you will not be put to shame for you will forget the shame of your youth and you will not remember the reproach of your widowhood anymore for your maker is your husband the lord of hosts is his name and your redeemer is the holy one of israel he is called the god of the whole earth now again i like to point these out your maker is your husband the lord of hosts is his name and your redeemer is the holy one of israel well who's this talking about yeshua right he's the redeemer he is called the holy of israel we see in the new testament he's even called that exact phrase the holy one of israel he's also called the redeemer but it says uh the lord of hosts your redeemer the holy one israel he is called the god of the whole earth interesting right there isaiah 54 says that yeshua is god just a side note all right for the lord has called you like a woman forsaken and grieved in spirit like a youthful wife when you were refused says your god for a mere moment i have forsaken you but with great mercies i will gather you with a little wrath i hid my face from you for a moment but with everlasting kindness i will have mercy on you says the lord your redeemer and again who is this husband that we're waiting his return yeshua is the husband he's the redeemer he is the bridegroom he's the one speaking here says his name is yahweh but this restoration of israel is what paul is referring to in romans 7. right we've talked about this before romans 7 says do not know brethren for i speak to those who know the law that the law has dominion over man as long as he lives so don't you know you who know the law you should understand this the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives for the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives right this this vow love honor cherish till death do your part but if the husband dies she's released from the law of her husband what is this law of her husband deuteronomy 24 okay so if you're married and you divorce your wife and she marries somebody else she can never return to you that's the law of the husband okay but if the husband dies the first husband well that that nullifies that law now she's not bound to that law anymore right because he's dead that's what paul's talking about here he says for the woman has a husband is bound by law to the husband as long as he lives but if the husband dies she's released from the law of her husband so then if she while her husband lives she marries another she will be called an adulteress well that's what yeshua is referring to right she marries another she's called an adulteress but if her husband dies she's free from the loss so that she is no adulteress though she has married another man paul goes on to explain this is this is what yeshua came for he came to die to redeem us so that he can bring us back into covenant so verse 4 says therefore my brothers you also have become dead to the law through the body of christ that you may be married to another to him who is raised from the dead that we should bear fruit to god so he's saying that it's through the death of yeshua that we are able to enter back into covenant right because of the law of the husband we were not able to enter that covenant because we we were married we were divorced and we went on played off the harlot and married other gods and now we're unable to return to god so what happened is yeshua died canceled that law of the husband and now he says return to me this is the great mystery of how can god redeem israel because of this law also why it was so highly debated so the first century corinthians i'm sorry yes first not first century i can't even read my notes first corinthians says okay a wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives first corinthians 7 39 a wife is bound by law as long as his husband lives but if the husband dies she's liberty to be married to whoever she wishes only in the lord so again this idea that god desires marriage to be with one man and one woman for one lifetime is all throughout the scripture starting in genesis throughout the torah throughout the prophets throughout the gospels and even later into the epistles we see it numerous times repeated that this is god's desire for marriage but it doesn't always work out that way does it why because we're the problem right god's ideal is one man one wife one lifetime but we we all we're a mess we are we're a mess and we all get in the way and we all mess up we all do stupid stuff and that where's danielle that is a biblical word where is she she's going to tell me to stop saying it but it's in the bible proverbs right says a man who doesn't listen to uh correction is stupid it's what it says a man who does not listen to correction is stupid it's a biblical word i'm okay to say it okay i think i just heard her say stop saying it from the nursery or something the idea that god desires marriage to be one man woman one lifetime is throughout scripture this is his desire he desires us to be holy people he desires us to be righteous people he desires us to do what is right to always obey him to always walk in his ways that is his desire that's his goal that's his ideal for us right he wants us to be perfect he says be perfect as i am perfect be holy as i am holy that's his desire for us but it doesn't always work out does it we all fall short don't we and so i i hope that you know those who that didn't work out for if you've gone through a marriage that didn't go so well if you've ended in divorce or if you've now in your second or third marriage because i know some probably are i don't want you to leave feeling condemned okay i don't think that's the i don't think that's what god is wanting to say through this i don't think it's a message of condemnation i'm gonna skip a little bit here just because it's getting a little repetitive i think i want to i do want to say something here though okay so genesis 2 24 says therefore a man shall leave his father mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh says they shall leave the father mother be joined to the wife and the two shall become one flesh okay so when when a husband and wife get married the bible says you're supposed to leave your parents home and i'm talking to you looking right at you it's in the bible [Laughter] genesis but you're supposed to it says you're supposed to leave your your parents and be joined to your wife why because you're you're no longer there you know you're no longer their little kid you're you're becoming a man of your own you're starting your own home you're responsible for your own family you're no longer under their authority you have you've been given the authority as the husband now ian again i'm talking to you it's just for you ian nobody else even needs to pay attention at this point just for ian [Laughter] [Music] but yeah you're supposed to leave how many of you guys after you got married your mom or dad came to visit and they started thumbing through your mail anybody that happened to us like we got married and my mom came to visit and she stumbed through a mail and what are you doing that's that's our mail like that's not it doesn't have your name on it you know and how many of you have had parents who tried to give you financial advice or tried to tell you what to do in certain situations that you didn't ask for their opinion about you know like they just kind of plugged that in there and said hey let me just give you some advice even though i know you're not asking for it does that happen to anybody okay i'm gonna step on some toes i know parents get out of the way okay your kid is a grown person they are married they have a husband or a wife let them make mistakes be there to to help them but they're gonna make mistakes okay try to give them counsel try to point them in the right direction but you're not there to parent them anymore okay you're there more as a friend and as a counselor as an elder in their life to try to to encourage and point them in the right direction but you're not they're not your little kid anymore the relationship changes when they become married okay you can't tell them what to do you can just try to give them some good advice and don't get frustrated when they make mistakes and they fail and then they have to come to you and say you know what dad you were right and i should listen to you but i had to learn this lesson the hard way it's gonna happen but the bible says that you're supposed to leave your father and your mother and be joined to your wife okay that was just a side trail but you still need to respect and honor your mom and your dad all right honor your parents even it doesn't mean you have to you know it's not the same as as you know when you're living with them you know when under my house my rules you got to do it my way it's not necessarily the same kind of honor respect but you still need to respect them if you don't i'll spank you all right i've spanked other people's kids before i'm not afraid to do it and spanking your kids is a good thing i will tell you all right it's biblical it's biblical all right that's why parents that's you know that's when when kids don't honor and respect their parents it's probably because the parents didn't discipline their kids okay all right i'm going to step on everybody's toes tonight okay if i didn't step on him raise your hand let me see what i can come up with what i've i've dealt with that one a lot of times [Laughter] no i've actually you know i actually mentioned that too again the husband is the head the bible says so um that's why the husband bears responsibility all right so the bible only gives a few reasons for divorce and encourages doubles to stay married and the thing that i want to point out here is the divorce tears apart the one flesh that god has joined together so listen to what malachi says and this is the second thing you do you cover the altar of the lord with tears with weeping and crying so he does not regard the offering anymore nor receive it with goodwill from your hands yet you say for what reason because the lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth with you with whom you have dealt treacherously yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant but he did not make them one i'm sorry but did he not make them one having a remnant of the spirit and why won because he seeks godly offspring therefore take heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth for the lord god of israel says that he hates divorce for it covers one's garment with violence says the lord of hosts therefore take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously so you see he's talking about this this one flesh again right has not god what is it did he not make them one did he not make them one and for what reason because he seeks godly offspring you look at the world today and what what do we see we see women who have multiple husbands haven't you know you have six kids from seven different daddies i don't even know how that happens right but that's the scenario we have in in certain homes that's what god is trying to avoid here right what is godly offspring you have one husband and one wife and they raise their children together and these kids have they know who their dad is he raised them he taught them they knew who their mom is she raised them she taught them she fed them she clothed them they're not the world we live in today we have kids who they don't even have a clue who their dad is never met him just some guy some one-night stand that mom ran into night at the club when she was drunk right and that's the world we live in today that's not godly offspring that's a mess he says we're not to deal treacherously with the wife of our youth and treachery the word treachery is is linked to treason they're they're connected words and in the case of marriage treachery means that you have acted against or in opposition to the person you are in covenant with okay you are acting in a way that is contrary to the covenant you have agreed to you are working in opposition you are working against the covenant you are trying to move away from and separate you are doing damage doing harm to the covenant that's basically what he's saying here dealing treacherously you are doing damage to the covenant you've made with your wife someone who seeks an unlawful divorce is dealing treacherously okay again there's the topic is what is a lawful divorce and what is an unlawful divorce it's not can you get divorced what is lawful what is unlawful that's what yeshua is being asked someone who seeks an unlawful divorce is dealing treacherously they're dealing treacherously with the covenant and they're causing violence to the marriage that god has united and let me just say if if you come to me for marriage counseling i will always counsel you to reconcile there is never a case where i will say you know what i think you need to get divorced okay i don't think that that i don't think there's a situation where you can't work it out now again back to the situation i mentioned earlier you know if your husband's punching your face and breaking your ribs i'll say get out and save your life i still don't know that i would say let's have a divorce i think we say we need to get that guy some help we need to get him saved we need to get him some get him some counseling help him work those anger issues and let's keep you at a safe distance until he's ready but i still don't know that i would say get divorced okay now there may be situations where that needs to happen right there may be situations where that needs to happen but i still even in that kind of situation i think there's hope for reconciliation if your wife's cheating on you there's still hope for reconciliation i think that the bible doesn't say you have to divorce her in that situation it just gives you an option you can but i think the bible is pushes more towards reconciliation it's not saying hey you know what look for look for the reason to get out it's saying try to make it work try to reconcile try to bring restoration in any situation i think that is the message we see over and over again and when i do pre-marriage counseling i i tell people every couple i've ever counseled i say divorce should never be an option if divorce is an option before you get married then don't get married okay just don't even bother divorce should not be an option if you're getting married you should have the mindset we're going to be married until death do us part and if you if you're already thinking about scenarios well if he does this i'll divorce him or if she does this i'll divorce her if you've already got that in your mind then go someplace else don't even bother getting married is it you're setting yourself up for failure if divorce is already an option for you before you even say your vows you're setting yourself up for failure divorce should not be an option it should be the absolute last resort after everything else fails you've tried and tried and tried and tried and tried everything and it still didn't work okay you know what maybe that's the only option you got left but there are people that you know again she uh she burns dinner and he's like you know if you can't learn to cook i'm gonna divorce you right that you shouldn't even joke about that kind of stuff because when you say it you're planting seeds even if you're joking even if you're teasing even if it's you don't really if you're not really serious about it i i would i would cost you don't even joke about that because the more you say it the more acquainted you are with it it becomes familiar you become desensitized and then pretty soon you're divorced okay let me just say that uh i i firmly believe that one of the major things that satan is trying to accomplish in this world is destroying homes destroying marriages destroying relationships between parents and their children he's trying to destroy what marriage even is defined as okay he's just he's trying to destroy families and he is trying really hard and he is doing a really good job he's making a mockery of holy matrimony parading around literally in pride parades parading around mocking marriage the enemy has also corrupted marriage by making it a flimsy contract that people are willing to throw away anytime things get difficult i want to say that again the enemy is trying to make marriage a flimsy contract that you'll just toss out the window anytime things get difficult marriage is supposed to be a covenant a vow before god something that is binding that your life is linked to till death do you part right this is the covenant it is meant to be a lifelong covenant satan is trying to make it a flimsy contract that you can just toss out the window when you don't like it do you see what i'm saying does that make sense and i think yeshua is coming along and saying this is not just a flimsy thing you can toss around is meant to be one man one woman one lifetime from genesis to the end to revelation and i think that's the point of what he's saying is this not just a flimsy thing you shouldn't just look for a reason to get out of it that you need to look for a reason to to stay in it to make it work i think that's the biggest point he's trying to make here why do you think satan is trying to destroy marriage i think that one of the major reasons is because marriage is a picture is a symbol of the covenant that god makes with his people because the bible says god describes himself as a husband to us he says i want to enter covenant with you and i will call you my bride well if satan comes along and destroys what that even looks like destroys what marriage is makes the covenant something flimsy and meaningless he's destroyed the the picture the image that god wants us to see and so your marriage can be an image and a symbol a picture of the relationship god has with his people this is what ephesians chapter 5 is talking about right husbands love your wives the way christ loved the church wives submit your husbands just as the church submits to christ he's saying that we are a picture of the relationship with yeshua so you husband are a picture of yeshua in his interaction with his bride you wife our picture of god's people interacting with yeshua he says this is the picture you're supposed to be forming in your home this is the image you bear as husband and wife and represent him well is what he's saying does yeshua just you know these people frustrate me i think i'm just going to toss them i'm done with them is that the way he's going to treat us is that the way he you want him to treat us he said then don't treat your wife like that right christian marriage is meant to show us the love that christ has for his people christian marriage is meant to show us the love that christ has for his people we're supposed to be bearing his image to the world and unfortunately the divorce rate in christianity is just as high as the diverse weight in the rest of the world i don't think we've done a very good job of bearing his image i warned you this was going to be a hard one didn't i did you guys believe me do you now was this a hard one ian's shaking his head no i'm gonna pick on you a little bit more ian staying married is hard how many married people can agree with that statement staying married can be hard okay ian pay attention staying married can be hard marriage can be hard right marriage is not perfect people the the fact that you're living with another human being can be a hard thing i mean you you know that from having parents right you live in the house with a brother or sister you know that if you live in the home with anybody else you know that it can be difficult sometimes you get on each other's nerves you irritate each other you know i mean it could be simple things even you know like you're trying to sleep and the other person's snoring you're like i can't sleep because they just snore all night right and that could be that that's a simple scenario that happens a lot right you're frustrated because you can't sleep because they're snoring and then you never know that eventually that can lead to a huge argument in marriage because they take some little thing like that and it just wears on them over and over and over and over and over and eventually they just blow up it happens right i know marriage is hard okay i sympathize when people when people come and and they they're having hard times i get it and amanda gets it more than i do she knows it's hard to be married because she's married to me so i want to give you a word of encouragement i know staying married can be hard sometimes and let me tell you something from the bible what the bible says to everybody who says this is really hard okay everybody at some point their marriage is gonna say this is really hard right raise your hand if you've already said that some this is really hard all right i've got a verse for you remember this one when things get hard in your marriage remember this verse ian hang on to this one and actually emmy you hang on to this one because you're gonna get fed up with him sometimes and so you need to remember this verse philippians 4 13 i can do all things through christ who strengthens me okay hang on to that one and i have another one for you romans 8 37 yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us okay so you can get through it but you now this is serious though you can get through it but you have to you have to rely on yeshua okay you have to rely on him he's the only the only way your marriage is gonna work is if you rely on him so you can do all things through christ you can do all things through yeshua but if you're trying to do it without him it's gonna fail that's for everybody in here you've gotta every situation in your life you gotta you gotta use you gotta lean on yeshua go through him let him be your strength all right i'm almost done and everybody said amen right one two three four four sentences i don't know all right so let me just encourage everyone who is currently married okay i would encourage you fight for your marriage okay do whatever it takes to stay married okay don't look for a reason to get divorced look for a reason to hang on to your marriage if you're going through a hard time look for a reason to hang on not to let go okay don't let the enemy tear your marriage apart okay [Music] now i want to talk to those who are separated by unlawful reasons okay if you have been separated from your husband or wife for an unlawful reason and you are not remarried i would encourage you to seek reconciliation those of you who are already remarried those of you who have been divorced and you're remarried make this one better okay make this one last a lifetime the first one failed okay that's in the past let the past stay in the past where are you now make this one work do better this time okay all right your heads with me is there any any toes i stepped on that i haven't apologized for yet i'm not going to apologize now is there is there anybody who has what's the word i don't want to leave you hanging is there somebody who is there anything that i i haven't addressed that i need to address first before we go okay all right would you buy your heads lord we love you lord i pray that even though this is a difficult topic lord that you would minister grace love and compassion lord i pray that those who have heard who who have heard this message tonight or that they would receive from you the words that you have for them lord i pray for healing in marriages i pray that if there are people who are thinking about divorce or seeking divorce lord that you would bring healing to their marriage lord for people who have been wounded and and scarred and uh damaged from previous relationships but i pray that you would bring healing to their lives lord i pray for them each and every married couple in this room and whoever's listening online lord that you would bring them closer together i pray that husbands would love their wives the way the bible says for us to lord i pray that wives would love and honor respect their husbands the way the bible says to but i just pray that you administer would minister to the hearts of husbands and wives through your holy spirit through your word lord we praise you in the name of yeshua amen

Channel: The Grafted Church

Views: 1,319

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: church online, sermon, Bible Teaching, Lex Meyer, Grafted Church

Id: Ne_CbyioRbM

Length: 103min 7sec (6187 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 17 2021