Divorce and remarriage (Matthew 5:31-32)

who remembers what we talked about last week does anybody not remember last week was a hard one wouldn't it and this week is another hard one the Sermon on the Mount Yeshua he said some hard things he really did and as we're going through the Sermon on the Mount each week we're gonna be dealing with some some real stuff some real issues that people are facing and today is one of those topics that's it's a tough topic it's a tough it's a topic that a lot of people have dealt with and so I hope that as I talk about this today I I know it's a sensitive topic and I want to treat it with the sensitivity that it needs to be treated with but I also want I don't want to sacrifice truth I don't want to spare your feelings and forego truth and so what I'm going to talk about today may be hard for some of you it's it's like I said it's a difficult topic but I want to be honest with what the Bible is saying and I just pray that there is that God is able to use this to bring healing in lives and restore relationships so with that being said let's get started dearly beloved we are gathered here today to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony those are words that many of us have heard write the word I wanted to emphasize in theirs that is holy matrimony and that's what we're gonna be talking about today is the topic of marriage and divorce and so what in the Sermon on the Mount Matthew chapter 5 starting at verse 31 furthermore it has been said whoever divorces his wife let him give her a certificate of divorce but I say to you that whoever divorces his wife for any reason except sexual immorality causes her to commit adultery and whoever marries a woman who is divorced commits adultery these are some difficult words to think about and you know I have i've never experienced divorce i'm happily married to my first wife still it's a strange way to put it I think I'm happily married to my first and only wife that will ever be married to but I know that a lot of people have gone through divorce and so I know it's hard I know it's a hard topic to think about the Pharisees knew about this teaching you should spoke publicly and it was widespread so they knew his stance on this topic and in Matthew 19 they tested him concerning this topic and so I want to look at that as well because it ties in with what we're talking about here so Matthew 19 verses 3 through 10 the Pharisees also came to him testing him and saying to him it is is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason and he answered and said to them have you not read that he who made them at the beginning made them male and female and he said for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh so then they are no longer two but one flesh therefore what God has joined together let not man separate they said to him why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce and to put her way and he said to them Moses because of the hardness of your hearts permitted you to divorce your wives but from the beginning it was not so and I say to you whoever divorces his wife except for sexual immorality and marries another commits adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery then his disciples said to him if such is the case of the man with his wife it is better not to marry and so that the disciples when they heard this they realized this is a heart this is our teaching their response to that is wow if this is the case maybe it's better for us not to marry they saw how heavy this is how weighty this is how how much it affects people hello and Shamai were two popular really famous rabbis back around that time just not too long before you sure they had kind of an argument or debate about this topic and Hillel was kind of liberal in his stance and he basically said that you know he took what was spoken in Deuteronomy and he basically said that man can divorce his wife for any reason he wants if she doesn't make him happy and so he's they Deuteronomy 24:1 through four is the the passes that they're referring to and it's also the one you schewe they referred to when they spoke to you sure it says that when a man takes a wife and marries her and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because she has found some because he has found some uncleanness in her and he writes her a certificate of divorce puts it in her hand and sends it out of her since her out of his house when she has departed from his house and goes and becomes another man's wife if the latter husband detests her and writes her certificate certificate of divorce puts it in her hand and since her out of his house or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife then the former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled for that is an abomination before the Lord and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance and so Hillel took the verse which says he finds no she finds no favor in his eyes and so he took that to mean that if he's displeased with her in any way then he can divorce her and so if she burned dinner he can divorce her if she isn't satisfying him in other ways he can divorce her if she yes all the sudden gets ugly he can divorce her whatever the case if she gains too much weight he can divorce her that was Hillel stance on he was very liberal about it and he just said if there's any reason you can divorce her she might took the opposite and he said no it's he focused on the verse that said that he found some uncleanness in her and he said this is talking about sexual immorality and he said so the only the only excuse for divorce is sexual immorality that's the stance that she my took on it and so they asked you sure what's your stance on this where do you stand on this topic and he's sort of he sort of said something similar to Shamai but he kind of went a little bit further than sure my and they said that if you divorce your wife for any reason except sexual immorality that you cause her to commit adultery and that's one of those phrases it's really kind of hard to wrap your mind around and the reason for that is because a woman who didn't have a husband if he divorced his wife she would have no way to provide for itself she would have no way to take care of herself she would have no home she would have nothing so she would either turn to prostitution or she would have to find another husband that was basically the choice that he was leaving her with if he abandoned her if he divorced her sent her out that was the position he was putting her in she was anything I had to find another husband someone who could take care of her or she'd probably have to go into prostitution or something like that where so she could provide for herself so in either case he's making her an adulteress and so Yeshua's putting guilt on the husband who divorced her which is really interesting so he's not what what makes this hard though is because it kind of sounds like he is going against what Moses taught hey Deuteronomy that's not what he's doing he's taking what Moses taught and he is he's explaining it correctly and so what else did he say though he said you know they said Moses said this well it's interesting because he says well what else did Moses say in Genesis therefore this that a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and the two will become one flesh Moses wrote that Moses wrote Genesis and so if Moses wrote Genesis to where it's talking about husband and wiping coming one flesh and in marriage and he also wrote Deuteronomy 24 where he talks about the certificate of divorce it kind of brings some tension in this scenario there's a lot of difference of opinion on this topic among preachers as well I've heard preachers preach all kinds of different things about this topic and this is honestly a very difficult topic when you look in the scriptures it's really a difficult topic to fully grasp why you should have said that what he said and I'm just gonna be upfront with you this is a hard topic but there is a lot of different opinions by various preachers on this topic and some will take a really hard stance and they'll say that you can never get divorced and if you get divorced you can never get remarried and there's no exceptions to the rule it's just not you know once you're married is married for life and there's no way out of it that's that's one opinion another opinion is similar that they say you know it's marriages for life but there's one exception if there's sexual immorality in the marriage then you haven't and out you get divorced but there's difference of opinion on whether you get remarried or whether you can't and so you'll you'll see a discussion about that - some will say you can't get marry remarried some will say we can't some will say the only way you can get remarried is if there was sexual morality on the part of the other person and so like I said there's a lot of different debates and discussions about how this is handled and you know I actually did a teaching a couple years ago on this and and I've I've actually pulled it down off of my website because I disagree with myself now but what I said about it back then is something that I've heard other people say too that the the focus the emphasis on what you she was saying here is it hinges on whether the woman gets a certificate of divorce or not and so you know you've heard it said whoever door was his wife let him give her certificate a divorce but I say whoever sends his wife away for any reason causes over to commit adultery and so he's the the ideas that he sent her way but didn't give her certificate a divorce and if you look at the the Greek that's used here the word there is if he puts her way if he sends her out but I think the context is implying that he's talking about divorce I don't think he's saying if you send her away without a certificate you're causing her to commit adultery I think he's saying if you divorce her I think that's honestly the context of what he's saying and like I said I did a teaching about this a couple years ago on my website where I argued that well I think he's saying that if you you if you divorced her you've got to give her a certificate or else you know then you're you're causing her to commit adultery but as I've been studying this more I I am nobody wants to admit that the wrong but I really think I was wrong on that one and I really think what your she was saying is if you get divorced and you marry somebody else then that's adultery and the reason I say that is because of the context of a lot of other things in the scripture and like I said I know this is a tough topic and I know that there are people in this room that may have have dealt with this but I also want to give you some hope and so I don't want you to hear these words and think oh no I you know I'm I've committed adultery on messed up we've all messed up we've all we've all sinned we've all messed up we've all fallen short and there is grace and there's forgiveness and there's redemption no matter what has happened in our life but I hope that as we get to the end of this I know we're gonna go through some hard heavy stuff right now but as we get to the end of this message I hope that you you feel some hope and freedom and healing as a result of anything that may have happened in the past and for those who haven't been married yet I hope that it gives you something to consider as you're looking to the future and what marriage should look like and so like I said this is a this is a tough topic though he cited Genesis and he said the two become one flesh and this is this is really interesting because it says that the to become a hod in Hebrew if God is what's also used in the Shema Deuteronomy 6 here o Israel the Lord our God the Lord is one here Israel shall ma yisrael adonai elohenu adonai echad and it doesn't mean singular it means a plural unity it means that two coming together as to act as one and so we see just as the the Bible is describing God as one it's describing us as one a husband and wife as one when Yeshua prayed in John 17 he said father I pray that they would become one with me as I am one with you and so we're to become one with him why because we're his bride right the Bible describes us as the bride of Messiah that his people are his bride and so we see in the Old Testament the same kind of scenario that's played out Israel is described as God's bride and they entered into a covenant with him and they're to be his people is to be a faithful covenant they're to be his people used to be their God you're not to have any other gods before me it's all about being faithful to him as our as our husband as our God as our King but in Jeremiah Jeremiah talks about how Israel was unfaithful and he even says she was treacherous and she went whoring playing the harlot with other gods and it says that God gave her a certificate of divorce and so as we look at this topic we we have to realize that divorce is not a sin to get divorces not a sin God gave Israel a certificate a divorce god doesn't sin sometimes divorce happens though it's not the ideal it's not the preferred it's not the plan and sometimes it happens though and we have to figure out what to do in the process of that but you should said it what God has joined together let no man tear apart when we I was looking at some statistics on divorce and really things haven't changed a whole lot over the years they've been saying for a long time that the divorce rate in America is about 50% and it fluctuates a little bit around you know between 40 and 50 and 60 but it's it's been holding steady like that for quite some time maybe years years and years the divorce rates about 50 percent so half of the people in this room that the chances that half the people in this room could who are married may have experienced a divorce in their life or may experience the doors at some point in the future according to the statistics and so and the the people who have been remarried after divorce the statistics on that go up jump up to 70 percent so if you've been divorced once and you get remarried the chances of you getting divorced again have increased they say it's about 70 percent for those who are on the second marriage and also if you have parents who are divorced you're more likely to get divorced and so I think those are some interesting statistics I want to look at Malachi chapter 2 though this is an interesting one Malachi 2 11 through 16 but I'm gonna skip a couple verses so 211 and then 14 through 16 just to kind of shorten every time Judah has Judah has dealt treacherously and an abomination has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem for Judah has performed for Judah has profaned the Lord's holy institution which he loves he has married the daughter of a foreign God okay so this is the he's setting the stage this is the introduction of this topic Judah has dealt treacherously and has married a foreign woman a woman who worships other gods yet you say for what reason because the Lord God has been witnessed between you and the wife of your youth with whom you have dealt treacherously so who's the wife of his youth he apparently was married to someone else previously and he dealt treacherously with her and now he's married to a woman who worships other gods yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant this is referring to the wife of his youth but he did not make them one but did he not make them one having a remnant of the spirit and why one because he seeks godly offspring therefore take heed to your spirit and let no one dealt treacherously with the wife of his youth for the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce for it covers one's garment with violence as the Lord of hosts therefore take heed to your spirit that you do not deal treacherously and the word treacherous is kind of an interesting word you might hear of something talking about treacherous waters there out in the ocean the waters are treacherous or if you're walking and the landscape is treacherous they say be careful it's treacherous you don't want to fall it's dealing with the idea that something's deceptive that it's untrustworthy and it also is connected to betrayal and being traitorous being two-faced backstabbing something of a hidden danger and so he's talking about Israel and Judah and he usually he's using these words treacherous so in Jeremiah he said that Israel was treacherous and went out and played the harlot and this one he's saying that Judah was treacherous left the wife of his youth and went out after a woman of foreign gods it's this idea that he's he's talking about them being deceptive they're untrustworthy they're unfaithful it says that God hates divorce and because it covers your clothes with violence and if if anyone has ever witnessed a divorce witness someone who is going through a divorce or been a part of a divorce it's not a pleasant thing to watch it's not a pleasant thing to be a part of it's it really is awful it rips people's lives apart God has knit people together and divorce rips them apart even in situations where it was a bad situation it still hurts and it's still hard it still leaves scars it tears people up and God doesn't like to see his people going through that kind of stuff because it you know he hates divorce because of it breaks relationships it does violence among his people it also talks about your companion and wife by covenant and we're gonna kind of talk about covenant just a little bit - a covenant it's a covenant is one of those things that in our code in our culture we don't really see a lot of covenants actually taking place we see contracts and most people talk about a marriage contract talk about a contract when you buy a car or a house you sign a contract but contracts are not exactly the same as covenant contracts typically have they have an agreement that you're making but typically they have some kind of an end in mind you know you're gonna make payments on this until you pay this amount of money and then you don't have to make payments anymore that's that's kind of a contract works in its agreement and typically there are things in there that you could say well if this happens then that nullifies the contract but a covenant is a little bit different and a covenant is meant to be lifelong if you look at the covenants that God made with his people he said I'm making a covenant with you forever and that's the way God deals with covenants he he says when I make a covenant it's it's permanent it's forever and when we look at the marriage vows we take there's some interesting things that we say and this is kind of a typical traditional conservative marriage ceremony that I'm going to be looking at and I've done I've done a number of weddings over the years and so you know I've I've counseled people through these things I you know if you're not married and you're looking to get married I highly recommend you get marriage counseling before you get married don't don't rush into it without wise counsel and that's one thing that that even in the wedding ceremony it says a marriage covenant is not to be entered into lightly these vows you take are binding and must be considered carefully and should not be entered without serious advisement from wise counsel have you sought wise counsel concerning the vows you're about to take that's a quote from something that I usually say whenever I do a wedding and that's something that most preachers say something similar when they perform a wedding ceremony have you sought wise counsel about this before you get into it because this is binding that's the that's the words that are spoken and then when you get into the vowels portion of the wedding ceremony typically it goes something like this I take you to be my lawfully wedded wife to have and to hold from this day forward for better for worse for richer for poorer in sickness and in health to love and to cherish till death do us part according to God's holy ordinance and forsaking all others I pledge to thee my faithfulness so when we when we enter into marriage when we enter into the Covenant of marriage we are saying I am agreeing to these terms I vow I pledged my life to you till death to his part that's the kind of covenant that marriage is and so when Yeshua is talking about this that's that's the idea behind marriage marriage is to be between one man and one woman is to leave his father mother and be united to his wife the two become one and it's for the rest of their life that's God's intended purpose that's God's intended plan but because we live in a fallen world a sinful world we don't always go according to God's plan we fall short of God's plan and unfortunately it doesn't always work out that way and sometimes it's not your fault sometimes it's the person you're with sometimes you may be doing everything you can to keep the marriage together and the other person it doesn't want to have anything to do with it or they they just make life miserable for you and there's there's all kinds of different things that I've seen and heard people go through I mean I I've I've known people who has said that you know that my partner is trying to get me to divorce them and they're doing everything they can so that I will divorce them because they want me to do the divorcing they don't want to do the door thing they want me to do it and so they're they're trying to make me as miserable as possible so I'll just finally divorce them and I don't want it or something I've heard people say things like that and it's like man why that's hard it's hard to see people suffering like that and to go through you you marry somebody and you think this is this is my plan I I want to be married to this person for the rest of my life you don't go into marriage saying okay I'm gonna marry this person in three years we're gonna do divorced nobody plans that right everybody when they get started they think oh yes I love this person I want to be married to this person for the rest of my life I agree to these terms I will make this vow I'll make this covenant and then as they get down the road a little ways they find out that they married someone who's not perfect but you're not perfect either not ever sorry it says the for better or worse everybody's on board for the better part but when things get a little worse that's when you're not so sure about this company made for richer or for poorer you know that financial problems is one of the main reasons people are divorced but you just said your vows that rich or poor I'm gonna stick around I'm committing to this person not to the bank statement but a lot of divorces happen because of financial reasons in sickness and in health I actually heard a really awful story this man and woman got married and at some point early on in the marriage something happened to the woman she got injured really badly and was basically paralyzed from the neck down and when he found out that she was not gonna ever recover from that he left her he divorced her he said I didn't sign up for that I didn't sign up to be pushing somebody around in a wheelchair sad didn't it people are cruel people are mean even even sometimes people who say they love you they can hurt you so in sickness and in health to love and to cherish till death do us part and I think that's the the one that most people forget about though is just the length of this contract that you've signed this agreement that you've made as God as your witness and in front of these witnesses you're making a covenant to love this person and to be faithful to this person for the rest of your life Romans chapter seven has some interesting things to say about this also Romans seven to 33 for the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives but if the husband dies she is released from the law of her husband so then if while her husband lives she marries another man she will be called an adulteress but if her husband dies she is free from that law so that she is no adulteress though she has married another man this goes along with exactly what you sure was saying Paul is in complete agreement with the words of yushua and again I know this is something that's hard to hear and and I hope I hope you hear my heart on this that I'm I don't want I don't want to make I don't want to stir up old pains I don't want to injure you in any way I don't want to I want healing in your life and I hope that as we get to the end of this that that's what what people but everyone will find first Corinthians 7 10 through 16 now to the married I command yet not i but the Lord a wife is not to depart from her husband but even if she departs let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband and a husband is not to divorce his wife but to the rest I not the Lord say if any brother has a wife but does not does not believe and she's willing to live with him let him not divorce her and a woman who has a husband who has does not believe if he is willing to live with her let her not divorce him for the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband otherwise your children would be unclean but now they are holy but if the unbeliever departs let him depart a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases but God has called us to peace for how do you know a wife whether you will save your husband or how do you know o husband whether you will save your wife and so now to the camara to the married I command you not seek a divorce I want to encourage you to honor the marriage you're in right now no matter what your past look like you know whether you've had one divorce two divorces five divorces you know I don't I don't know I don't need to know what I'm telling you today though is to be faithful to the marriage you're in right now your past is behind you you can't do anything about that and I've seen people say well you need to repent of your sin of adultery because you got remarried and so you need to end your second marriage too now how do two wrongs make a right I have never seen that work out you know you look at King David King David he sinned he took Bathsheba a married woman he brought her into himself brought her into his house and then he called for her husband sent him out to war made sure that he got killed and then he made Bathsheba's wife Nathan came along and said what you've done is horrible what you've done is wrong you have sinned and David fell on his face cried out to God repented for his sin but he didn't divorce Bathsheba he stayed married to her and they had children together their son King Solomon he took the throne after David passed on and so we see examples like that in the scripture that God didn't tell David oh you have to you have to divorce her you can't you know you can't stay married to that woman and so I don't think we can say that to other people as well yeah you admit rumors yeah I we messed up we failed my first marriage didn't go through it you know realize that your first marriage may not have went the way supposed to God's intended purpose didn't happen you got married again well I wasn't really what God intended that's not the way it was supposed to happen yes according to what Yeshua said you you have stepped into an adulterous relationship I again I don't want to sacrifice the truth of scripture to spare your feelings if you were married got divorced and got married again you have entered a result relationship that's what your show is saying but we have redemption we have forgiveness we have hope for reconciliation it's not the only unforgivable sin and so if that is something that has happened in your life I you know if you haven't already repented and prayed for forgiveness and sought for that to be healed in your in your marriage I encourage you to do that and for those who are currently married or those who will be married at some time in the future remember those vows that you take are meant to be lifelong covenant you are committing yourself to this person for the rest of your life when when I advise people in marriage counseling one of the things I say is do not ever even think the word divorce no matter how things go don't don't even think about it that should not even be an option that's what I advise people in pre marriage counseling and so if you want to be if you want to get married you want to go through pre-marriage counseling I'm gonna be hard on you a lot of a lot of preachers they do like a 30-minute interview session and they say okay you're good to go when's the wedding we do like six weeks of several hours each time we meet and it's pretty intense and we deal with some pretty difficult subjects and the way I look at premiers counselling is I want you to make sure that you really really really are sure you want to be married to this person because it needs to be it needs to be sought out you need to be sure this is what you want to commit the rest of your life to and so there have been a couple times where I married when I have counseled people and they broke up they didn't get married and it's probably for the best because if they broke up during pre marriage counseling chances are their marriage wasn't gonna last long anyway and that's really what the purpose of the premarital counseling is is to put you through the fire find out if you really really really want to get married and spend the rest of your life with that person and so any preacher who gives you a 30 minute interview and says that's counseling you know go find somebody else get you some better counseling because I don't think 30 minutes is going to do justice in that case but divorce should not even ever be an option for us as believers as we are dealing with issues we need to figure out how to find reconciliation yes you are in the middle of a fight find reconciliation figure out how to love them figure out how to forgive them figure out how to mend fences that we've got to be people who love each other if we can't love each other how can we say we love God if you can't love the person that you have made a covenant to the rest of your life if you can't love that person how can we love God because ultimately marriage is a picture of our relationship with God anyway he calls us his bride and so our marriage right now is kind of practice for our relationship with God it also shows us a little bit about what he experiences with us you know the frustrations we have with the person we're married to you know God gets frustrated with us right the way that we act whether we treat him the way that we treat other people you know he's got to get frustrated with this and so sometimes I think the first traceurs we face with each other maybe God's and see see what I have to go through you know and even like children when you have children and it teaches you how to love somebody in such a way that you haven't experienced before and those of you who have had children you you understand what I'm saying that the love that a parent has for a child is different than any other kind of love you see this this little being and you know how that is you there's a piece of you and a piece of your partner your husband or wife you guys come together and you make this child and as part you and part them and you look at him in the face and you see yourself and you see her or you see him and there's something about that that you're just like wow this is an amazing love and that's it's the way you know it's it gives us a kind of a clue as to how God feels about us his children he made us we are created in His image right it's the same kind of thing he has that kind of love for us as a father to a child Ephesians 5 is where I want to transition to now and this is where I hope things will get a little bit more on the positive side of things because I know like I said this is a tough topic and I hope nobody is I hope that anything that nothing I've said has caused any pain to get worse and I hope by the time I get done with this that the reconciliation can take place in anybody's life who is still hurting from something like this I also hope with what we're about to say that I can prevent some divorces in the future because these words I think that what Paul is saying in Ephesians 5 will prevent divorce from ever taking place if you will follow these words if you do what Paul says in Ephesians 5 I don't think a divorce could happen I think that's that's how important these words are wives submit to your own husband's as to the Lord for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church and he is the savior of the body therefore just as the church is subject to Christ let the wives also be subject to their own husbands and everything husbands love your wives just as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for her that he might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word that he might present her to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that she should be holy and without blemish so husband's ought to love their own wives as their own bodies he who loves his wife loves himself for no one ever hated his own flesh but nourishes and cherishes it just as the Lord does the church for we are members of his body and his flesh and of his bones for this reason a man shall leave his father mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh this is a great mystery but I speak concerning Christ in the church nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself and let the wife see that she respects her husband and I know the feminists in the room are probably about to pull my hair out right you hear the words submit to your husband and the women just cringe right because a lot of what's been taught about the word submit is not taught right weird to submit to God when you think about submitting to God you say oh that's a bad thing I don't want to submit to God do you know we want to submit to God because we love him and we know he's got his best in mind for us we want to submit to him because we trust him we know he's got his best in mind for us how do we know that because he laid down his life on the cross we know he has his best in mind for us because he loved us to death and so wives submit to your husband's but husbands love your wife the way that Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her you husband's have the greater responsibility in this scenario by the way you were to love your wife unconditionally you were to love your wife with everything you've got you were to love your life even if it means you die in the process you die to yourself any way you're supposed to to love your wife the right way you need to die to yourself and when you do that when you love your wife the way that Christ loved the church she's not gonna have a problem submitting to you because she knows she could trust you when she sees you lay your life down for her when she sees you loving her no matter what she will have no problem following your lead and she will have no problem respecting you but love your wife even if she doesn't submit love your wife even if she doesn't respect you because you're not responsible for her you're responsible for you love your wife wives honor respect submit to your husbands even if they're not loving you because you know what you treat him with that kind of respect even if he doesn't love you now you keep doing that it's gonna affect him he's gonna start loving you if he doesn't he's an idiot husbands love your wife but the love spoken about in the Bible is not an emotion you realize that can you command somebody to feel an emotion about something he commands us to love our neighbor commands us to love our enemies commands us to love our brothers you can't command somebody to love to feel an emotion can you I don't think so so what does the Bible saying when it says love I hear people talk about they'll say things well I just don't I just don't love her anymore I don't know if I ever loved her you know what you're telling me you're not doing what you committed to do in your relationship you're admitting to me that you've failed because you're not loving her because when you made those vows you said I promise to what love and cherish till death do us part you say I don't love her I don't love her anymore we'll start loving her then you're not doing your job you're not doing your not holding up your end of the bargain you committed to lover why aren't you it's not about an emotion hey if you don't love her anymore you need to repent everything about it that way I don't love my wife anymore oh you need to repent then you're sinning against your wife you're breaking the Covenant you made love is how you treat each other so what is first Corinthians 13 say about love love suffers long and is kind love does not envy love does not parade itself it is not puffed up does not behave rudely it does not seek its own it is not provoked it thinks no evil it does not rejoice in iniquity but rejoices in the truth it bears all things believes all things hopes all things endures all things love never fails nothing in there is describing a butterfly feeling in your tummy right that's the way the world tells us what love is oh I I love him I feel these little tingly butterflies in my tummy that's love that's not love it's a fashion maybe you have some kind of an excitement you know what love is love is long-suffering love is patient love endures to the end love sticks with you no matter what love is not concerned about itself it's concerned about the other love does not think evil of the other person this is one of those that we need to all think about for a minute love does not think evil of the other person if you think evil thoughts towards your husband or wife you're not loving them don't think evil of your husband or wife love bears all things love never fails it's not about an emotion it's about how you treating the other person it's kind gentle patient you care for them love is about how you act how you show love what you do for them you know if I if I sit here and I I told you I love you and then I slapped you in the face I love you so much slap you in the face again I love you so much I kick you in the knee would you believe me that I loved you probably not because what I'm saying and what I'm doing are not compatible I'm saying I love you but I'm not showing you love by what I do we've got to show love to one another in tangible ways treat each other with love and again I firmly believe if husbands would love their wives the way that Christ loved the church and if wives would submit and respect their husbands the way that the church is to treat Yeshua there would never be a divorce because there would be no need for one if if the husband loves the wife and the wife respects the husband you've got a you've got a great marriage there's nothing no need to forever to have a divorce because if you love your wife the way that Christ loves the church doesn't matter what happens you're going to forgive her doesn't matter what happens you're gonna be there with her she gets into a car accident and she's paralyzed from the neck down you're gonna say it's okay honey I love you and I will care for you the rest of your life because that's what you sure would do if he loses his job and you guys go bankrupt and lose the house and you're living in the back of your car it's okay honey I love you we're gonna get through this if you love each other both of you loving each other and respecting each other you're not gonna you're gonna you're not gonna need a divorce that's the whole point if we're living the way we're supposed to be living we're loving the way we're supposed to be living divorce isn't gonna happen wives need to be loved they need to feel love from their husbands and husbands need respect from their wife they do and so you the Bible's saying just do those things that's how you that's how you have a marriage this survives till the til death do you part wives I want to talk to you about something really quick proverbs 31 who can find a virtuous wife for her worth is far more than rubies the heart of her husband safely trusts her so he will have no lack of gain she she does him good and not evil all the days of her life there's a couple things I want to point out in here says her husband trusts her why does her husband trust her because she does good to him and not evil wives don't gossip about your husband that's doing evil to him wives don't disrespect your husband in public don't disrespect him at home either but especially not in public honor him respect him do good to him and he'll trust you he'll love you and you'll cherish you and you will be worth far more than rubies in his eyes you know the Bible also says that that how does it describe a contentious wife there's a couple proverbs about that too I hadn't didn't make note of them but just kind of come to mind the contentious why this is that a man with the contingent I would prefer to be up on the roof of his house hiding basically you want to be a noble wife a virtuous wife a wife who has honor and you remember a few weeks ago when Isaac was talking about honor and shame he said when you shame someone else you actually are shaming yourself when you honor someone else you're actually honoring yourself when you try to shame someone else you're trying to take their honour away from them and to build yourself up but in the process you're actually shaming yourself so if you shame your husband you're actually bringing shame on yourself something to think about so husband's love your wife wives respect your husbands and I want to close with another section from the wedding ceremony and this is kind of a charged covenant renewal of sorts and so for those of you who are married I don't care if it's your first marriage or your second marriage or your fifth marriage I want you to consider this you have made a commitment honor the marriage that you are in and as we think about these words if there's something that needs to change in your current relationship to prevent you from having another divorce or to prevent you from having their first divorce start taking actions in your marriage to prevent any kind of future disaster so men God has ordained that the husband be the head of the wife and he instructs you to love your wife in the same manner that Messiah loves his own bride do you agree to follow these instructions to the best of your ability men let's say you are you gonna love your wife I can't hear you yes what yes you will love your wife say it all right wives women God have structs you as the wife to submit to your husband as to the Lord he created you to be the helpmate for your husband do you agree to follow these instructions to the best of your ability women will say you what I hear one woman any other women in here let's say you yes guess what guess what you honor and respect your husband as you would the Lord you guys aren't very loud at all I'm expecting like a military-style chance there we go thank you I want some enthusiasm I want to know you mean it all right

Channel: The Grafted Church

Views: 6,728

Rating: 4.6682925 out of 5

Keywords: Grafted Church, Lex Meyer, what Yeshua said about divorce, divorce and remarriage adultery, marriage and divorce in the bible, Yeshua, Bible, divorce, marriage and divorce in the bible and the church, sabbath service, marriage and divorce, church online, divorce and remarriage in the bible, divorce and remarriage recovering the biblical view, divorce and remarriage what does the bible really say, divorce and remarriage, divorce and adultery, sermon on the mount, bible teaching

Id: rOmld9E7Dcw

Length: 61min 24sec (3684 seconds)

Published: Sat May 12 2018