Learn how to handle critical people using Power Phrases: communication skills training

how to deal with critical people part 2 the Prophet what they you gotta warn me when you're gonna do that training so last week we talked about the saboteur and next week we'll be talking about the messenger this week it's all about the Prophet Jesus you got to warn me when you're doing that we're going to learn how to recognize them what they're here to teach you and finally what to say when you recognize them are you ready all right let's start off with defining the Prophet merriam-webster defines the Prophet as one who utters the divinely inspired revelations or one who foretells future events alright let's break it down if you've been following along with the nine principles you know that I firmly believed every person we meet we are supposed to meet and we are supposed to meet every person that we meet and we will meet every person that we're supposed to meet and in addition the divine is love so therefore people are bringing a message of the divine they're bringing a message of love and we are not here to teach lessons we're here to learn lessons and every single person that we meet is our lesson so therefore if so facto every single person that we meet is going to have a lesson of love to teach us and is going to be neither our prophet or our false prophet depending on who we decide to be to them that's in a nutshell if you're like me you tend to look for it in the people that you identify already as a prophet one of my prophets you know you'll look like you are bringing a message of love if you look that way I tend to gravitate towards you wouldn't think I'm gonna listen to you because you look like an angel and angels bring me loving messages so I'm gonna listen to you but that's not how they always come sometimes you know a message of the future that's coming from a real prophet sounds more like oh honey you will never get a man if you keep dressing like that or you know that no one will ever take you seriously as long as you cut your hair like that or if you keep doing this you're gonna get that or don't eat Mike and Ikes before before you to look beauty no it doesn't come off you know what I mean that's when a prophet reveals himself or herself to us sometimes as a false prophet how do we know these are the three M's that are the litmus test of real or false profit motive manner method if they have the right motive you know I know but my mother always has the right motive therefore that's in her case is so overwhelming I can forgive the manner in the method because I realized the motive that outweighs everything else but let's say you're trying to decide are you up oh you know what's what's your what's your gig here who are you ask yourself manner how did they say it no maybe you're some place on the spectrum and it is difficult for you to judge what somebody's manner is ask yourself were they smiling or laughing while they were delivering news that they knew would be uncomfortable for you or hurt you if they were that's not the manner of a prophet you know what I mean method did they tell you this in private or did they tell you this in public did they tell you you know they are not gonna take you seriously in that outfit as you're walking into a meeting or while you still had time to change your outfit what was the method that they used did they prophesize in a way that was meant to expose you when they could have protected you see what I mean and motive what relationship do you and I have that would encourage you to say these types of things would it be for my well-being in what other instances have you shown me that you have my best interests at heart that is how you can tell a real profit from a false profit motive manner and method simple now having said that let's say that somebody did prophesize you know they told you if you do that you're gonna get that if you keep doing that you're gonna do that as long as you're like that you'll never get that the reward that they get from most people is simply getting away with it here's what you say to them remember they're used to people not calling them on their behavior they're used to making others feel the way that they feel you're not going to give them that instead remember body language is always keep you want to face the false prophet it's just like have you ever seen the exorcism you know he's calling out that they call out the demon and by calling out their name and then saying show yourself show yourself show yourself something like that you know it's like every Sunday night we're like mom show yourself show yourself show yourself in you know head starts spinning around you know the green bonnets all over the house but those are just people even or dinner where were we just call them out face them use their first name when you use somebody's first name at the beginning of your sentence John Marty now by the way you're going to use a disappointed tone with the balls prophet because you're disappointed in them you don't need to say that you're just going to let them know that remember that when you nod your head forward and you use a tone that goes down at the end you know not when that goes up at the end if I told you I'm disappointed in you some people talk like this you don't want to talk like this you want to make sure that your tone goes down Marty direct eye contact head nod forward Marty when you say XYZ are you trying to be helpful if it's just someone having a bad day and you were to say Jane Tom would you say that are you trying to be helpful most people who are just having an off day would say something like you know I apologize that was a little snarky that was a little nasty that was uncalled for I apologize and you can always say no harm done I forgive you however let's say that you were to say Marty when you say XYZ or Jane when you say X Y Z are you trying to be helpful a false prophet not wanting to have the mask lifted off would say something like alright and I'm trying to be hopeful again use their name when you are calling someone out on their behavior keep using their name keep looking forward don't break the eye contact until the very end if you want to give them up at the end okay but say something like this all right Marty I'll take you at your word and believe you because I have faith that you really are here trying to help me however that's not the type of help that works with me and I think you know that don't you Marty now remember when you're calling out the profit or other different difficult people look at the power that comes with being able to single them out and use their name three times Marty are you trying to be helpful if I am well I'll take you at your word for that and believe you and have faith that you are trying to help me but Marty I think you know that that type of help doesn't work with me don't you Marty now let's talk about sentence structure for just a moment okay but you took my flagship quartz step out of the shadows and speak in some of those lessons I talk about sentence structure and how it is key you know our entire message can change if we misplace a word you know if we put something in the beginning where it should go at the end or put something in the middle or we don't emphasize the right thing we can sabotage our messages by not knowing how structure works and how it impacts the message that we deliver in these messages disregard what I said in those lessons when I was talking about put the real subject at the beginning of the sentence because that is true in many cases you know there's a difference between saying I need that report by the end of the day and that report is due at the end of the day different messages you know I mean but in this case what I'd like you to focus on is the last thing you say you know when you're talking to a prophet you know when someone's about to ascend into the heavens it's going to be the last thing that they say that people will remember you know those are gonna be the words that people will cling to because of the last ones before the person went keep that in mind in this situation the last thing that you say is going to be what people will be hanging on as well therefore choose it wisely you know in that particular case what I wanted to emphasize was right Marty you know that don't you Marty look how the message changes if I put that is not the way to be helpful with me if I were to put that at the end of the sentence watch how it changes Mart when you say X Y Z are you trying to be helpful why yes I am I'm just not as burly as manly as you are all right well I'll take you what you were didn't believe you because I have faith that you are here to be helpful oh thank you you are such a righteous good honest good-looking man much much much more than I am just wanted to add that however Marty I think that you know that's not the way to be helpful with me you know now I just changed that message to the emphases on with me mister you know what I mean or I could put the emphasis on I'm taking you at your word Marty when you say X Y Z are you trying to be helpful all right well I think you know Marty that that is not the way to be helpful with me I'm going to believe you because I have faith in you so I'll take you at your word you know now the whole message really comes down to I'm gonna take you at your word so you'd better be here to be helpful you know what I mean that's gonna be especially the more and more you craft your communication skills that is going to be what people are hanging on your final words okay now having said that let's say that you're dealing with the false prophet that's you know they're pushing it and they're like well I'm just trying to be helpful okay you may need to tell them you know I'm guessing my brother Marty if I remind him Marty I think you know that that's not the type of help I respond well to don't you you know if I were to say that to him probably by the time we got there he's going to snap out of it and say all right fine you're not okay I'm sorry in the spirit of total transparency we must disclose that the voice of Martin O'Connor was not in fact played by Dan's brother Marty it was played by former Secretary of State Rex to listen you know he would probably do that if he has not you know if people are still you know don't be so sensitive I'm just trying to help you know tell people well Mart I have learned that when people are offering that type of help or advice if they don't have the right motive if they're not using the right method then they don't exhibit the right manner they're really not trying to be helpful I'm not trying to say what you're doing but being helpful is not it so I reject both your assessment and your advice if somebody is putting out there in the universe with words what they believe is going to happen to you if they are prophesizing cancel the prophecies and the way to cancel the prophecy is to say I reject both yours assessment and your advice you could even say I reject both your observations and your prophecy simply saying I reject what you're saying is letting somebody know you know you threw that at me I put up my barrier of white light and said nope I'm rejecting that now it's back what are you gonna do you know what I mean if you say to somebody I reject both your assessment and your advice or and your prophecy I reject it you can go ahead and say it I reject it what are you gonna do about this there's nothing that people can do about it once you have rejected both their assessment and their advice so and remember use the broken record yeah well I still say you're never gonna get a man if you just like that and again I reject both your assessment and your prophecy wouldn't you call people out like if somebody says here's what I think is gonna happen to you and you call them out as prophesizing in that prophecy I reject you I mean it's it you gotta have fun because these are the situations at the end of the day that are really going to reveal much much much more about you than they will about that other person if you handle them right okay now let's get to the people who really are our prophets you know the people who are there with a message of love there could be a child saying you never listen or you're always busy or you never do what you say you're gonna do or you know this relationship is going nowhere you thought you mean when people start telling you things that it's cut you know they cut deep you notice them they draw your attention the reason they draw your attention and you notice them is because they are noteworthy they are worthy of our attention they speak truth to us and they speak to something in us that responds to it in a visceral way many times when people especially those we love give us really harsh criticism like you never listen you just do what you want to do anyway you know you're always busy things like that usually we get defensive you know because we want to be a better person we want to be a good father we want to be a good mother we want to be more loving we want to be good listeners how could you say that I'm not I love you you know so we tend to show these people the worst side of us and they tend to when they prophesize with us do it in the worst way because you know how we tend to have it backwards we give the people that really deserve the best of us the worst of us and we get the people that really don't deserve any special treatment the best of us you know I mean we will at work show people who we do not even know who are contributing zero to our spiritual intellectual physical financial or any other type of growth contributing zero we will put on the best face we have for them and speak in the best customer service language we know you'd hope for them then we get a Holman we'll think uh I don't need to sugarcoat anything for you Oh could you ever do what you say you're gonna do you know forgive them I hear the message when people tell us when people prophesize with us and they love us you know this there's no doubt you know kids can say really hurtful things I hate you you're the worst mother ever they can say those things number one do not respond in the moment do not if this is a difficult prophecy that they're you know coming out with the I hate you is you're a terrible listener you just don't get it you never listen those types of things and you know what this means is I hope you know what this means is I'm not feeling love from you that's what that means I'm not feeling in this moment in the situation in this relationship in this instance love from you I'm not feeling it I'm not feeling loved that's what they're trying to say let them say it do not respond at that moment it will not be effective and they are not ready to hear it I'm gonna say that again it will not be effective so you will just feel either bad or worse because they are not ready to hear it they need to say it they need to express themselves sometimes we need to say things out loud just to realize how ridiculous they are to begin with but we need to say them you know something's coming out of us it's because it was in us you know hold their hair up Pat them on the back get it all out let me get it out put and then come back later and show them that you heard the message and you're going to make a change if they requested one if they just said you suck I just don't think this is working anymore whatever the message was and you want to show them I believe in us I have faith in you and me I'm going to be a better person but I'm going to be doing it with you we're going there to buy - if you can forgive me because I love you those are the types of message you want to deliver afterwards the way you want to deliver them is remember the five love languages learn a lot of how to answer a real prophet using the five languages in part two coming out later this week and subscribe now to be notified or join our channel to interact with us to participate in the conversation if you can do that those false prophets will know to go spread their prophesizing with someone else and the real prophets in your life will know that they can come to you when they need to give you a message that maybe is not perfect but it's coming from love and it's so that you can be a more loving father spouse brother a more perfect version of you you know what I mean and the funny thing is the more we are open to these prophets who are the most important of all critics the more you will start seeing them everywhere because again every single person that you meet if you're open to it will either be your prophet or a false prophet depending on who you decide to be to them so with that said make sure if you have not done so to subscribe to this channel but the best way to really support to this channel if you'd like to support us is to click on the join button below and become a member of the dan oconnor training youtube channel once you've done that go over the dan oconnor training website and if you're not yet a VIP member consider becoming one but at least pick up your free communication starter kit I think you're really gonna like that before coming back here and enjoying some more of these great videos so for everybody or Denner kind of training this is dan oconnor and maggie and buddy signing off

Channel: Online Communication Skills Training Courses

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Keywords: how to handle critical people, how to deal with critical people, critical people, how to respond to criticism at work, how to handle criticism, how to handle criticism at work, how to respond to peoples criticism, responding to criticism, responding to criticism at work, communication training courses online, communication training classes online, critical, criticism, communication, how to deal with criticism, how to deal with negative people, how to deal with difficult people

Id: LVy36DAHNgM

Length: 19min 16sec (1156 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 22 2019