How to Respond to Passive Aggressive People & Judgmental People: Communication Skills Training Video

communication training with Dan hi everybody this is Dan O Conor and I was putting together just now a webinar that's coming up uh about dealing with passive aggressive communicators like the sniper and the gossip and I thought you know I bet you guys would enjoy this quick tip so I'm going to give you a quick two-step process for dealing with the judge remember that the judge is that person who likes to make judgments judgments of you your co-worker your family and remember that what gets rewarded gets repeated I don't want to reward people who judge and we reward them in many different ways sometimes it's simply letting their behavior slide sometimes it's engaging with them as they judge others or even when they judge us and I have to remember that I train people how to behave when they are around me so how can I respond to a judge that doesn't reward them doesn't engage and doesn't encourage the behavior to continue the next time somebody makes a judgment of you or of someone around you and you want that behavior to stop try this two-step easy effective process step number one well let me say that let's uh let's say that the judge says to you something such as sweetheart don't you think your daughter might be a little bit young to be wearing those types of clothes okay that's obviously a judgment on the way my daughter's dressing if I had a daughter so step number one I want to repeat the Judgment back to them in a super exaggerated sense okay step number two I want to ask a clarifying closed ended question remember that a clarifying question is going to require someone to be clearer with their intentions and a closed-ended question requires a yes or no so it would go something like this Susan when you say that you believe my daughter's dressing inappropriately for her age are you saying that she's deliberately trying to dress like a prostitute to gain attention for men and watch when you exaggerate a judges judgment judges don't like to be judged and so when you say oh are you saying XYZ and you're judging them they tend to what's called polarize and go in the opposite direction and totally deny that and say no no that's not what I'm saying at all and at that point you simply give them the 3se second look by the way that reminds me you can always transition from any subject to any subject with a simple by the way so there's your simple two-step process of course you can also use it at work you know like let's say that you're with a cooworker and that coworker is a a constant critic or a judge and they say something to you like uh somebody else had to plan the party because the the company let's say year-end uh holiday party and no one was willing to do it but Mary because Mary's always the one who seems to say yes so Mary goes ahead and plans it and decides on a country theme and this judge that we're dealing with didn't even vote you know wasn't even participating but then later on says to did you see that Mary decided to create a country theme for our country or for our year and party H that is a stupid idea don't you think you could say to her something such as huh do you think that Mary's deliberately trying to sabotage this company and your fun at the Holiday party is that what you're saying I'm again asking you to clarify your intentions I'm exaggerating your judgment you tend to polarize and go in the opposite direction and say no and then I'll simply give you the 3se second look and what that does is without engaging with them that takes all the fun out of their judgment for them and they'll think I don't like it when I judge around you I'll go find someone else because I might not be able to change how you behave but I can train you not to behave that way around me because I will call you on your behavior so there you go simple two steps number one exaggerate the judgment and repeat it back and when you practice it there's lots of fun ways to exaggerate judgments you know like when my mother for example says uh oh Dan why did you cut your hair so short you just look so I can say Mom are you saying that I'm trying to make my myself ugly for the world just to aggravate you now of course my mother would say something like yes I believe you're doing that but that's my mom so the next time you are judged remember two quick easy steps step number one repeat back the Judgment in an exaggerated sense step number two ask a clarifying closed ended question watch the results you love them step uh stop by Dan oconer training.com all one word lowercase Dan cond training.com and you can check out more details about my upcoming live webinar you can get your questions asked live by the way uh the first 10 people who sign up will be able to ask me something live I'll answer it live it's going to be a 1-h hour webinar live uh and half an hour of Q&A so I look forward to seeing you there again stop by danelon training.com for more information you can see there's a little banner up in the left hand corner that's flashing for our upcoming webinar also make sure to follow me you guys as you can see I finally have a smartphone so I'm going to be tweeting and pictogramm and Facebooking and all that stuff so make sure as you're on my site click all those social icons I'd love to keep up with you and I appreciate you watching so make sure to share this like it comment all that great stuff this is Danel Conor and Buddy's around here someplace but he thinks he's so great because he uh I I submitted a picture of him to you know some woof.com and they nominated him for one of the top 10 dogs and he's like a supermodel waiting list and he just thinks he's so great now he he's not making an appearance as he used to uh and I'd like to thank everybody by the way on in Instagram and Facebook for making sure to let me know that once again buddy is more popular than I am I appreciate that thanks a lot this is Danel cter signing [Music] off yeah

Channel: The Wizard of Words

Views: 147,294

Keywords: How to respond to passive aggressive people, respond to passive-aggressive communication, How to Respond to Judgemental People, how to respond to passive-aggressive comments, dealing with passive aggressive people, communication skills training, How to Respond to Difficult People, passive-aggressive people, dealing with difficult people, Passive-Aggressive Responses, communication skills training video, online communication training, professional communication skills training

Id: Vp_ZDhvpa1M

Length: 6min 5sec (365 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 01 2014