Lawyers Share Ridiculous Reasons For Divorce (Reddit Stories r/AskReddit)

divorce lawyers offered it what's the most outrageous reason someone filed for divorce my aunt was dating an unemployed dude for a while he was staying in her house rent-free they got married and were getting ready to go on the honeymoon when the new husband tells her he's not going because he has to take care of his plants if a house big fight aunt goes on the honeymoon with her sisters instead she comes home and tries to kick him out of her house he refuses to leave she tries to get the police involved dude is live streaming on Facebook how he is being trapped in his own home police tell me there is basically nothing they can do can file for eviction after a divorce dude gets to live in her house with his precious plants for like three months until everything legally gets worked out paralegal a couple got divorced over a cat wife called calf snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cattle eat wet food or chicken breasts husband called cat Lily had gained because of white fur and believed it should only eat dry food these two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a crap about their human kids aged 15 months four years and six years old colleague handled a case where money was not an issue but the kids were neither parents wanted them my mom worked in abuse and neglect counseling and juvenile justice there are a lot more cases like this than I'd care to admit parents divorce and neither side wants a kid some of them are that neither side wants a kid but will fight over another kid if ends up totally screwing them over because they have to live with the fact that their parents didn't want them my aunt had a case where the wife had glued all of the outdoor hoses together so he weld and spend more time washing his vehicle anymore when the glue didn't work she just cut them all up when he bought new ones she filed for divorce my 90 year old client the husband and his son retained me to initiate divorce proceedings with his 88 year old wife they'd be married 60 years the wife had recently taken to beating him with his own cane because their daughter poisoned her into thinking he was hiding money from them the battle came down to husband and son versus wife and daughter at first court appearance my client showed up in an old 1950s style pinstripe suit and fedora he was a farmer his whole life and this was clearly the only suit he owned he was such a meek and lovely old gentleman I had to pass my client on to a new lawyer midway through the proceedings because I accepted a job in a different country but I understand the divorce was eventually granted not a divorce lawyer but I had a friend whose parents divorced for irreconcilable differences over time spent playing EverQuest in my game design class it was referred to as a ver crack I had I've been aching to tell this story for a while so this girl I went to school with marries this rich guy from Ohio she moves in with him and they seem to get along well six months later she files for divorce up to that point all I've heard from her was how good it was going anyways it turns out how buddy had a fetish for going off on urine he asked her to urinate on him in the tub at first she agrees to it as she thought it was a one-time thing but he kept asking for it more and more she tried to decline it respectfully but he wouldn't get any other hints she finally used the tubs being too small as a reason next day she comes home with two dozen construction guys and their heavy equipment tearing the bathroom walls a week or so later they finish up the bathroom she comes home to a sign left on the fridge with a note to drink up she got some watering to do I don't know what exactly she put down as the official reason and the paperwork but that was definitely her biggest reason to walk out of that relationship oh I forgot to add he also wanted to bring a horse to do the deed as well and at times asked her to make animal sounds while she stood on top of him she comes home to a sign left on the fridge with a note to drink up she got some watering to do the thread above this made me sad that this one picked me right up dying of laughter my grandfather's brother was a judge who presided over state ashiya marriages from time to time one couple he married returned six months later to confirm the wedding and end their trial marriage when he thusly informed them that there was no such thing in that they had been married for six months they subsequently broke up that sounds nutty but if you believed yourself when they told you trial marriages were a real thing the betrayal could very easily end the marriage my dad was a divorce lawyer he had a client who wanted to divorce her husband for two reasons one he did not have enough hair on his chest two he did not drive fast enough keep in mind this was in the seventies when chest hair was a bit more important crap yep it would have been embarrassing to show up late at a pool party and your man not having a decent chest Bush I didn't like her anymore two days after being married in sickness and in health till disinterest do you part she was kidnapped in Mexico and he refused to pay ransom eventually her family managed to pay and she was left on the side of the road it is not outrageous as in petty but outrageous as how absurd that is honey I love you but we agreed to save up money so we can purchase a house your ransom would really set us back I knew a guy from a high school job who divorced his wife of two months because she would sleep with a nightlight but he could only sleep in total darkness as they apparently never lived together until after getting married he hated her nightlight so much that he would often sleep on the couch instead but sometimes he would claim the bed for himself and lock her out of the bedroom for the night this was an eccentric late 40s man working at a Burger King who acted like all the other high school co-workers were his best chums and often told us these weird stories I'm glad I don't work with him anymore he had an argument with the new in-laws during the wedding and moved out at around 5:00 a.m. during the first night man I was going to say that our client was served divorce papers for sending a couple hundred thousand dollars overseas in a scam but Dan you guys got better once and me dang you are too stupid to stay married to I was a legal assistant when this case came in but this lady divorced her husband of two months because he got her an iPad case for her birthday instead of the expensive jewelry she wanted failed exorcisms client had an inner ear condition that caused chronic vertigo but symptoms could be treated with medication husband was an evangelical who was convinced his wife one had become possessed and that her vertigo and general crankiness with his methods were evidence of demonic possession to the medication she was taking was enabling the devil to hide inside her and three the only proper of course was exorcism he would hide her meds until she got dizzy and then try various methods of exorcism this included sweating it out put under blankets while incapacitated and locked in a room full of space heater freezing it out pretty much the reverse with a/c fans and bags of ice surprising it out he would jump out and scare her like it was the hiccups but instead of yelling boo he would recite the Lord's Prayer or Psalms the final straw was that he tried to surprise it out of her by pushing her down the stairs when they were heading out for dinner a note this guy was some type of executive and they still went out to dinner after the stairs incident that she asked for the divorce at an Applebee's at night I had often tried to picture that conversation as she was adamant that he was a total sweetheart and never acted out of malice or anger that one's just sad my uncle has schizophrenia and my grand aunts tried to convince my grandmother his mom to have an exorcist come instead of letting him stay on his medications it's probably one of the reasons my grandmother stopped talking to them much it pains me to think he could have gone through all of that if he been one of my grand aunt son instead of my grandmother's my client put his wife in an assisted living facility based on a misdiagnosis the medication of which caused the wife to be unable to care for herself while in the facility my client shocker started dating another woman and mythix began using hard drugs he used a loot of money on both of these things she eventually got off the medication and got better suffice to say she was not happy about what had transpired the medication of which caused the wife to be unable to care for herself oh my god that is frickin horrible I'm an intern that the judge I work for used to do divorce work he has some crazy stories but this one is probably the most outrageous though the divorce was pretty justified every morning this couple would sit in the bathroom together while one of them had their morning dump one would sit on the toilet and the other on the rim of the bathtub this particular morning the wife was on the toilets and husband on the edge of the tub they started to argue about their relationship so the wife reaches down pulls her tampon out and flings it at husband I'm told the tampon stuck for a brief second to his forehead before sliding off he filed for divorce that same day or the next at first I read this as one shoots in the toilet while the other shoots into the bathtub as and they are both pooping simultaneously in Rock Paper Scissors for who gets to use the toilet I was so concerned I had some friends get divorced because she legit hated Dale Earnhardt and he legit hated Jeff Gordon was the reason but did happen during the course of the divorce neither side would follow the court orders when they had to go back to court they were fighting over a pistol in the man's grandmother's bowels I assumed for weeks that these bowls were some sort of heirloom or expensive china when they finally brought the bowls in to swap they were freaking Tupperware my douche cousin told his wife she had three chances to give him a son dota was born first strike one son was born second then they find out the boy can't eat gluten sir my cousin divorced her and has made zero effort to see his kids not me but a friend my mum has divorced her husband because his mother still coddled him at age 40 with his consent they lived with his mother common in Asia by cuddle I mean that she would walk straight into their room after his shower and powder his back for him they couldn't lock their bedroom door because his mother would come in as and when she wanted if they locked the door she would not repeatedly asking what they were doing lol what would they be possibly doing playing poker my client was the outrageous one so my heart went out to his Paul wife he had OCD which manifested primarily financially so he made their lives of penny-pinching hack examples he was obsessed with avoiding unnecessary driving wear and tear on the car gas expenses so he cut the whole family's hair at home and never let them eat at a restaurant or go to the movies weirdest of all he kept one toilet paper roll on him at all times and you had to get one square from him before you could go to the bathroom he never gave more than one square why finally got fed up and left him when one he gave her bangs during an in-home haircut and to their daughter was so traumatized by the toilet paper thin they couldn't potty-trained her also he hated paying his divorce lawyer bill he was also an old-fashioned mega Catholic who consider divorce a deadly sin he viewed my whole job as an unnecessary and sinful expense my mom had a friend with a horrible penny-pinching father as a child they took cold baths with one kettle full of hot water added etc etc when he died and they went through the house it was filled with hidden cash build behind the baseboards bills in fake drain pipes needless to say he was severely mentally ill I worked as a paralegal for a divorce lawyer case analysis was one of my main responsibilities I crapped you not a recently married couple of two years broke it off because the husband would not stop feeding the dog if the dog got outrageously fat apparently she saw connection between the dog and future children it's always so sad when people over feed animals the dog will always be happy to get treats and I think the tiny instances of validation and affection the person gets because of it are enough for them to ignore what they're doing to the poor animal it definitely does suggest the person in question is irresponsible when it comes to other living creatures that depend on him to keep them safe I am a lawyer that handles quite a few divorces among other things and I've seen all sorts of reasons for marriages ending the only thing that is consistently true and relevant to this question is that it is never for just one reason and it is never one sided in facts I've started telling potential clients in our initial interview that I am aware that I am going to uncover some dirt on my client in the process not to scare them but to put their mind to ease that I've seen worse the fact that you haven't been 100 percent an angel up to this point doesn't scare me and I'd rather find out about it from my client beforehand than later on from their spouse of the worst possible moment all this is just to say that when you hear about people divorcing over one stupid argument or mistake usually that's just the straw that broke the camel's back that said some of the lightest draws I've seen include a guy who is 100% convinced that his wife our client is actually a lesbian in love with his sister and just using him as a cover but he also claims she is having sex with me to pay for her legal fees and with every male whose phone number is in her call history a woman who is divorcing my client because he was too sad after his father died last year my client had to break down her door to get his father's ashes a few weeks after he left the house and she refused to let him back in or give them to him and a woman who claims my client was emotionally abusive towards her because he refused to yell at her and sat in silence ignoring her when she screamed at him he has this recorded time-stamped for the dates and times she insists the incidents occurred and she's listened to them and his complete silence as she goes on tirades and insists this proves a point that he was emotionally distant and abusive not the most outrageous but I had a client incur about 20 additional hours of billable hours because he and his ex-wife were battling and went to trial over their Star Wars collection this was the only issue at trial they were able to work out custody child support the house but the Star Wars collection went to trial the judge ended up splitting it in the most a shalash way possible basically giving each side half of what they wanted and then mixing and matching everything else and breaking up collections when speaking about it at a conference the judge admitted he did it because if they were going to act like children she would treat them like children the thing is the value of this collection was over $100 K so hardly kids stuff neither side had it in them to appeal nor was the case law on either side given judicial discretion in property distribution you have been visited by the cook dog comment without food there is no paradise so that you never burn the steaks if you are new to the channel I publish new videos every day until then check another video or don't either way have a great day you magnificent people [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

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Keywords: #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, TZ reddit, rslash, comedy, fresh, lawyers, dumb, dumb divorce, couple, divorce, dumbest couple, reason, dumb reason

Id: _pBMiJNMpY0

Length: 15min 34sec (934 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 24 2019