Why Did You Cheat On Your Spouse? (r/AskReddit)

people who'd cheated while in a relationship and didn't get caught did you stop why why not I was simply dating a girl I didn't like and was too much of a coward to break it off I found someone else and started cheating they didn't know about the existence of each other but after some time guilt made me stop seeing both of them have you heard of Scott Pilgrim I went away for the summer to work at a summer stock theater my girlfriend at the time and I had been dating on and off for about a year things started off well we talked and texted everyday after a while talking everyday turned to once or twice a week about the last month into my contract this girl that had been hitting on me all summer made a move and I just went with it it was very no strings attached she didn't know I had a girlfriend and I never told anybody because nobody ever asked after my contract was up and I went home my girlfriend was waiting on me and she was so happy to see me that she was in tears it destroyed me I was happy to see her too but knowing what I did just crushed me I never once felt bad about it until that moment I immediately told her I felt so guilty and knew I had to tell her her happy tears turned to sad and angry once she yelled and cried and yelled more I ended the relationship because I thought she deserved someone better than me we still keep in touch and are friends but I always wonder what would have happened had I not cheated she's forgiven me but I haven't forgiven myself this was several years ago and I still feel like a piece of crap yeah after it happened I realized I didn't love my sow so I broke it off the guilt of cheating made me realize I wasn't the best boyfriend so I spent a year working on myself and waiting until I found the right girl I eventually did and in a month it'll be our three year anniversary so hey I guess things do work out sometimes hewed us on being introspective my man hope it stays well we were on a break or so I thought it ended a little while later anyway breaks are a good idea until the person who asked for the break doesn't get laid like they thought they wouldn't the person that didn't want the break gets laid like they didn't think they would I didn't love him anymore it had been a year since we last had sex or even kissed it was an unhealthy relationship to say the least I went out one night and got too drunk and hooked up with someone that's how I realized I didn't love them because I didn't even feel guilty after it was such AI relief to experience human contact again I ended things shortly after he doesn't know telling him what I did would have made a bad breakup even worse I am a human trashcan didn't get caught was having second thoughts about my gf anyway and I made out with another girl while drunk at a bar broke up with my gf like a week later for a few other reasons never told her as it would just make her question herself better for her happiness that she never found out still bothers me that I did that and won't ever do it again I agree with not telling in this situation but only because you broke up with her shortly after throw away my current wife and I were madly deeply in love with one another but we were both married to other people when we found out how we both felt about one another we immediately started dating including sleeping with one another this carried on for a year and a half until we left our spouses for each other we both feel absolutely terrible about being unfaithful to our spouses that our insatiably in love with one another we had both just married young and with the wrong people our lives now are a night and day difference from what they once were I'm simultaneously guilt ridden for what I put my last wife through and eternally grateful that I met my current wife it has been three years now since we've gone public with our relationship and I've never been a happier person my husband and I got together when I was very young and quickly had a couple kids now 15 years later I realize I no longer love him any time I have ever brought up an issue in our relationship he's either become defensive or mopey and makes me feel sorry for him he's done things that were bordering on sexual assault sex with me while I was asleep long after I'd told him to stop because it made me feel horrible and I really feel like his lack of respect just can never make him desirable to me again however we simply just can't afford to split up I gently brought up having an open marriage a couple years ago but he freaked out about that I've expressed my feelings about no longer being attracted to him and he's put in effort for a short time then reverted back to normal so I realized the only way I'm going to be even remotely happy and emotionally sexually fulfilled for the next 10 years or more is to try to find someone else I cheated twice in one week I have never been that kind of person and the guilt has been eating away at me from the inside out that's why I stopped I have told no one however I will say it was probably one on my favorite experience he's not the lying or sneaking around but the feeling that someone wants me I have been married for five years my husband and I were on questionably drugs when we met so sex was never really a topic or even possible during cam downs what I thought was loved was a confusing flood of emotions while going through detox after it was over we had a connection that I just couldn't walk away from and saying I love you so many times you start to believe that this is what lovers I rarely get sex and when I do it's nothing special I am always going the extra mile to please him but does nothing sexually for me in return I get emotionally punished for watching pee however I'm not going to do anything about it because I hate confrontation hate hurting people will always take someone back even though I know I shouldn't afraid of social interaction I can't make rent without him thanks for listening sounds like you are in a pretty difficult situation being tied to someone not only because of the experiences you have went through together but financially as well you deserve to be happy you might consider going to see a therapist to at least talk about it you would be surprised how just saying something out loud makes you feel better I had a bit of overlap between my relationships I'm not proud of it things were toward the end of the first and I started seeing the second there was about a month of overlap however the second guy is now my husband so I can't say I regret it my story is different than the others I've read in this post reluctant to share because I know it's horrible but here it is all through college I was crazy foreign manager at my part-time job when I was single we hooked up multiple times but that is all it amounted to I always wanted more and stupidly thought someday he would want that too we became more distant over time although we still work together and I met this really great guy who I really cared about but this new guy and I dated for a while and became exclusive so when I graduated college I've been dating this guy for a year at this time he takes a summer internship four hours away he was a junior a couple weeks into his internship I quit my part-time job as I was starting my new job after graduation my old manager and I got closer again since I was leaving and I reluctantly agreed to hang out with him I loved my boyfriend but I never fully got over this guy we had sex it wasn't satisfying and I regretted it immediately now it's two years later and I am still with my boyfriend I've never told him and I've been completely faithful to him since it sickens me to know I did that tell him the guilt really gets to me still and I am very much in love with my boyfriend I know it's wrong to keep this from him but I can't lose him over something I am positive I will never do again still doesn't make it right tough call for sure I guess you need to decide if you can live with the guilt if he ever finds out somehow it's gonna really freak him up though I cheated on someone once I was 17 and he was 27 I tried to end the relationship multiple times and he would manipulate cry threaten to kill himself I was young and didn't know how to properly get out of a relationship I slept with someone else told him about him the same day thinking that would make it clear to him I didn't want to be in this relationship he still would not let me go I finally had to leave town temporarily and stay with relatives not answer my phone tell him I was done and moving away to get away from him in order to get the break-up I had been trying to get for five months at this point looking back I know that cheating is wrong but I also think that something is more wrong with a man who is 10 years older than me manipulating me and insisting I be with him against my will I honestly had never even been in a long-term relationship before that and had no skills on how to get out of one especially when being held hostage in one nothing good ever happens after 2:00 a.m. just go home I get bored easy and disengaged when I do I like new things new people I get attached fast and it goes one of two ways they also get attached and I cool off pretty quick or they don't attach and I get twisted up over wanting what I can't have this happened with people outside of my relationships regularly showed no signs of stopping try to partner in an open relationship and it didn't work so basically I didn't and won't stop so I've grown ups and recognized that and avoid relationships now in favor of an intense 2-3 week connection every so often this is how my ex was when I was 18 years old a 50 year old guy I worked with told me there's no point having a girlfriend at your age you aren't going to stay with her the rest of your life you might as well go out and meet people and explore your sexuality with different people dumb eighteen-year-old me decided to follow this advice not that I went out looking for it I was at a festival and it just kind of happened I stayed with her for a while afterwards and I never told her I felt like a dong and it meant nothing to me but I knew she'd feel betrayed I didn't have the guts to tell her I felt like a coward and it eventually led to us breaking up got back together a year later and stayed together for another two years still never had the guts to tell her I loved her so much I didn't want to jeopardize what we had it was a good two years but we eventually split still think about her every day even two years later but I don't regret telling her she had problems with bitter aggression and depression telling her would have done more damage than good I feel but maybe that's just me justifying the crappy thing I've done Capital a the opportunity presented itself and was too good to pass on I did stop after far too many lies and a fledgling guilty conscience cheated numerous times on a woman who I had no idea why I was with I was sleeping around with four or five other women during our six-month exclusive relationship I ended up getting herpes and breaking up with her to date the woman who gave me herpes username checks out everyone who has cheated on me just told me themselves and I haven't been suspicious prior to it well one of them I was getting to the point of asking if something was wrong but he was always really busy with work so it took a few months I feel kind of dumb about that one sigh I was dating a girl who was playing games with me and making me feel crappy and before we put a label on the relationship between Utley seeing each other I met up with someone and we ended up hooking up we kept it up for a while and I eventually started hooking up with the original girl too eventually my conscience got the best of me which it should have before the whole thing started and I admitted it to the first girl she was mad we broke up but she still wanted me around and eventually wanted me back after all was said and done I stopped seeing both of them neither would have known without me admitting it to one or the other they lived in different cities one was not on social media whatsoever and both were busy enough that when they had time to see me they saw me and didn't think much of it the worst offenders won't be replying you won't find the people who cheat with no remorse commenting on this I know a couple mutual acquaintances who have cheated on every person they have been with it's despicable they don't see anything went with it completely messed up in the head though and I don't know why yep a friend of mine since childhood has freaked up every single one of her relationships over the last 30 years by cheating every single one of her relationships has ended because of her infidelity yet in a mind she is doing absolutely nothing wrong I cheated on the love of my life and I regret it every minute I did it because I was dumb and frisky and attention craving I'm now with the guy I cheated on and I'm miserable through and through I was dating this girl for nine months when it happened the other girl just seemed to get me I kissed her and things just went on from there I told my gf about it the next day and she hated me for the next two years until I apologized I was in it on and off a relationship with the other girl but ended it for good later on after I found out how toxic of a person she was eight months after that I found out she was playing me in some other guy at the same time looking back I can only regret my decisions as a fifteen-year-old I didn't feel crappy about it until two years after so I told the girl I cheated on I'm sorry and she forgive me we are on good terms now but I don't talk to the other girl anymore cheating was a crappy thing to do and I promised myself I'd never do it again I've never cheated on my husband and I don't plan on doing so although I do feel so dang lonely and abandoned and undesirable to him I can honestly say at this point in my life I completely understand cheaters whereas I never could before yes the guilt was too much also I may not have gotten caught but I certainly snitched on myself almost immediately after it happened here we go throw away obviously when I got with my so it has all good for the first two weeks then it went weird she said she was insecure that she was a cruel woman to me made me feel used fat ugly when I'd cut her off she'd managed to get back in she is my first love it was difficult during this time an old childhood friend and I hid it often we freaked the next morning wasn't awkward she said she'd keep a secret and that was that it happened again two days later but more intense my confidence was coming back after my cell had destroyed it and I thought right I'm telling her to do one and going to continue banging my friend when I met my so she broke down apologized for everything she was mentally I could tell in that moment she didn't mean what she did and she apologized profusely and changed that day she changed so I did too I carried on loving my so because besides her bully stage she was my angel I don't care at this point if I get hate I don't even care if people give my so hate but romance isn't a Hollywood movie my relationship did not start as conventional nor is it now but I'd die for my so and I'm sure she would die for me but we both made mistakes in the beginning and now I'm happy to be hers I met my ex at a small gathering with a bunch of mutual friends we had and I tried putting the moves on her with the intention of only hooking up we kissed and she told me that was her first kiss we were 18 so I dated her because I felt kind of bad just telling her I was trying to bang and go and I figured it might work because she was nice and it did for a while but then I joined the military and once I got to my first unit I was over 2,000 miles away she wanted attention I didn't have the energy time to give with my new job and getting qualified but I was still lonely and frisky so eventually I met a few ladies and hooked up with them then broke up with her without her knowledge of the other people when I was younger I had a few drunken one-nighters outside of my relationships never kept anything going or even answered the other girls attempts to contact me afterwards I felt like it would be even worse if I kept talking to them and led them all my gfs on I didn't intend to hurt anyone with my actions and wanted to minimize any damage I did alcohol was a B yes it was me and not the alcohol I knew what could possibly happen if I drank too much none of that sounds like a very healthy relationship 29s air I was a serial cheater from age 15-20 to failed in love with a guy at 15 was on and off with him for all those years he was the one but I had other boyfriends during that time had no qualms cheating on those boyfriends with that guy or anyone else because I was always going to end up with my first love I never got caught bounced from guide to guide no issue when I cut contact with that first guy I never physically cheated again although towards the end of my last relationship I started an emotional affair as someone to move on to I got bored of him and it didn't work out when I've been single I've been very promiscuous I've been faithful to my fee on kale for years however we are swingers so fool around with other people together perhaps I'm just not up for monogamy who knows it was in the first few months of a new relationship and I cheated with an ex I stopped pretty quick though because it helped me realize that I really liked my girlfriend a lot more than I thought I did a previous relationship left me a bit cold and cautious with love so I didn't want to get too serious we dated for five years and I still miss her she's changed a lot oh for the worse and I can't go back to her for my own well-being I wouldn't change a thing though I guess she shaped Who I am today and I matured a lot from having to be there for her through her depression and anxiety although I am fairly dead inside now sorry if that was convoluted and ranty I'm not in so great off shape right now so I needed to vent I guess I really hope someone can enlighten me but I'm seeing these comments who cheated because they fell out of love or just didn't love them anymore how I met my ex four years ago and we dated for three and a half for them I loved her so frickin much I still do still having an insane amount of trouble moving on and I want to move on but something always happens to set me back to square one how do you just stop loving someone how does that work I've grown up hearing that you don't just stop loving someone you either still do whatever did and I kinda agree with that I'm not trying to put judgment on anyone I just want to know how this kind of thing happens since my ex told me she didn't love me anymore no I've definitely fallen out of romantic love with someone I still love them as a person that hits at the part of me that romantically loved them is almost like a different person that I don't even know anymore I used to be such a good girl Elbert dated all the wrong kind of men that didn't have jobs and smoked too much then I met a guy in a club soon as I saw him it was like I'd hit a brick wall we didn't hook up that night we didn't even kiss swap numbers and started talking online for three years we ended up hooking up while I dated various guys I just couldn't say no to him he was like an obsession to me I tried deleting his number blocking him on Facebook but I couldn't stay away from him year four I decided I couldn't carry on with it I either admitted that I wanted more or deleted him from my life we have been together for six years now living together for five and engaged for four I'm not necessarily the cheater but I assisted a woman and her cheating on her bf of 2.5 years she told me it was a terrible relationship that he was terrible to her etc I had a crush on her for a while so I just said Frick it and went ahead with it we kept this up for about six months me thinking she was gonna break up with him and generally just eating up every word she said about him being crap and her wanting to be done with him they eventually split up we got together then she immediately cheated on me with him like only two weeks into it if that it was deserved I guess I certainly was a bastard to him when he had never done anything wrong to me well when I found out I have an anger half growing a conscious tailed him everything he was furious made her feel horrible etc well she threatened to kill herself so I went and saved her from herself spent a week with her etc at the end of that week in order to save herself and her supposedly crappy relationship they both had wanted out of she threw me under the bus and lied to him to blame everything on me got a lot of people to think it was all my fault and to hate me I gave him photographic proof of everything she lied to him about but I guess he wanted to continue ahead with the already failing relationship anyways idk this just happened so I am pretty hurt over everything I fell in love with her like a Dunbar's so that's nice I don't really have much against the guy other than he is [ __ ] for staying with her after everything if he knew all the crap she said about him to me or her friends or all the things she did with me it would destroy him so I am trying to do the Steichen by taking whatever high road is left to me and saving them the pain of knowing that information X used to shut down every time we got in a fight literally unreachable and this would drive me mad once he disappeared for a few days again unwilling to talk to me and in those two days I met two guy in my class new guy was irresistibly hot was in a band six-pack dumb as a sack of rocks but it didn't matter before I really got to know him my boyfriend decided to reappear with an apology I loved him and stayed with him but it was too late new guy had made an impression I used to sneak off to new guy's apartment and we'd fool around but the first time we went to have sex I couldn't do it and I left I showed up to my boyfriend's apartment instead and pretended like nothing happened in a few days time I was back at new guy's apartment and went back again and again because it was too much fun looking back I was miserable in the relationship I felt no guilt for what I did but broke it off anyways for fear of getting caught instead the whole scenario was a high I couldn't get enough off obviously that relationship ended and in a spiteful way I hope one day he finds out what I did wouldn't put it past myself to do it again edit thanks for all the feedback good bad to those of you who are offended by this I assume you've been on the wrong side of it in which case I'll tell you that people like me are often reckless and in most cases don't deserve someone willing enough to care so much I'm not one for karma but I'm sure I have a long life ahead for the game to be set even if it hasn't been already and to all I'll always respond with the truth no matter how ugly it is or how dismantled this makes me seem I had been in an emotionally abusive relationship for over five years and I had no friends because my boyfriend at the time wouldn't allow me to have any I met this guy on the internet who lived near me and he asked me if I wanted to hang out I went to his house and we hung out and played video games and I was just so happy to finally have someone else in my life who was nice to me and didn't treat me like crap we were starting to get kind of place on the couch and the guilt got to me so I told him that I have a boyfriend and he was understanding but then I just broke down and told him about what he was like and we ended up talking all night about it we laid in his bed and he cuddled me and just listened to me and gave me really good advice he also told me about how his last relationship was over five years and his girlfriend had cheated on him and got pregnant and he just came home one day and she was gone he eventually drove me home and as soon as I got home I called my boyfriend and broke up with him it was like finally having one other person in my life who didn't make me feel like crap about myself was all that I needed to work up the courage to leave him this guy and I hung out a lot after I left my boyfriend we had some casual sex but I don't think either of us expected it to go anywhere we both just kind of helped each other to get past our crappy past relationships I met a guy who wanted to take me on a for-real date and when I told my guy friend he seemed genuinely really happy for me and wished me luck but also told me to watch out because I was still vulnerable from my recent ex-boyfriend I started dating that guy and we talked less because it seemed weird to me to still hang out with a guy I had casual sex with when I was in a relationship and I think he probably understood that too we haven't talked in many years now and I'm now with a different guy who I've been with for many years now and marriage is on the horizon but even to this day if it wasn't for him I don't think I would have been able to work up the courage to leave my abusive ex and I'm really thankful to have met him and how he helped me and I hope I helped him deal with his relationship problems too a lot of justifying cheating in the comments you guys do know you can break up with someone right and that if you fool around in a relationship then you'll be known for doing it in your new ones verbal abuse or not just end it'll try and fix it going around meeting new people to flirt and Frick paints you as a crappy person I found out that my ex-wife flicked my former squad leader so I ran around sticking my dong in everything that would that would let me I eventually left her and found my soul mate I couldn't imagine cheating again though I moved 300 plus miles away to university I cheated with quite a number of people over the three years I know why I knew that my partner wasn't right for me I knew he wanted different things I was also very lonely at uni and he didn't do phone calls and was crap at texting I wasn't good at making friends and lived with only one other girl who was always out with her fiance if guys approached me wanting more I was just happy to have someone talking to me that I wouldn't knock them back when they wanted more I was starving for attention friendship and attention of that sort I was also a huge coward all my boyfriend and mine friends were the same we hung out with the same people and they were my only friends adopted through him if I broke up with him or admitted what I'd done I would have had no one I was far too fragile for that I Neely od'd in my first year of uni I was depressed lonely hated myself for cheating on him writing the note to my mum stopped me I couldn't do it to her my partner was a lovely man but made zero effort after uni he still preferred to get stoned and play video games than actually doing anything in the years we were together he never came out for my birthday or go out at all we just got stoned played video games and freaked so even when we lived together after uni we interacted very little really I knew it was doomed so I now think maybe cheating was my way of sabotaging the relationship though he still doesn't know telling him would only make me feel better to relieve the guilt and make him feel worse we still see each other occasionally and get on he's with a lovely lady and they have two gorgeous kids together he's a fantastic dad which I knew he would be and has now stopped smoking weed he now goes out and spends time with his family and says it's because I broke up with him he said he realized he needed to make more effort or he lose another girlfriend I have zero desire to cheat with my fiance I know he's right for me we like to do the same things I would do anything for him and he loves to make me smile we are strong and I love him more than I thought it possible we want the same things out of life and if we do argue we only want to work on it rather than me wanting to find comfort in the attention of others I am NOT proud of what I did but since we broke up I had time to reflect on why I behaved the way I did now I know basically the relationship was bust it was wrong for many reasons - those who are cheating right now think about why you are doing it is it really just cuz you're frisky or drunk or whatever I should have never stayed with this guy it was cruel and wrong even the last few years where I wasn't cheating if the grass isn't greener if you are with the right person I will forever be ashamed of what I did and wish I hadn't done it don't be me all these people are saying they cheated on their so because oh I didn't like him anymore or oh I love faded she was mean that doesn't frickin matter tell people that you don't love them anymore don't cheat on them even if your love faded as someone who has been on the receiving end of cheating I found out my gf was doing it it's literally the worst feeling in the world knowing that someone you love is making you second best because of some cheap thrill after about a year of not dating anyone I started dating a slightly younger girl and it was nice and simple she was nice enough and she loved my band but then I met the girl of my dreams at a party after a bit of awkward courting we went back to her place and she gave me her number I had to break it off with the younger girl and neither of them knew I cheated until I told them after I defeated my girls seven evil exes law I absolutely hate the phrase it's not like they're you're married I don't think a contract should be necessary to be willing to be monogamous and devoted to a person not being married isn't a good enough reason not to cheat my boyfriend and I have been together for two years and I love this man like crazy he has zero interest in ever getting married we live together share expenses and goals I would like to get married one day but I'm not about to force it on him nor would I leave him from not wanting to get married our relationship is no less valid than any other regardless of my last name or our tax filing status I couldn't imagine ever cheating on him or breaking his trust because there isn't a ring on my finger I hate hearing some douche nugget trying to pick me up saying I don't see a ring mother sucker you ain't gonna see anything else off me either and I greatly look down on those in long-term and committed relationships using it as an excuse to bury a meat cucumber in her flesh gun it's not hard to not cheat just don't have sex BAM don't like the person you're with and want to lay on your back being prodded with strangers flesh probes leave your partner it's not like you're married I was on the rebound from a girl who wasn't interested but knew I was I guess she wanted attention when she was drunk so should see how far she could go and just string me along between parties I got sick of the game and walked away but jealousy of her newest toy ate me up when another girl at school gave me a bit of attention and actually wanted me I thought I was in love my new gf moved away for college and I'd spend hours on the phone and Skype every night I'd skip on social events to talk to her and work into the night to make time over a few weeks months she didn't like it when I'd say I couldn't talk tonight because I had to work who wanted to make friends we didn't communicate well for all our hours of talking she wanted to have screaming arguments and clear the air I'm not big on conflict so I would change the subject she took this as me not caring and not wanting to fight for us to make it work I started to dread calling her to the point I felt sick to my stomach hours before our time because I knew she'd start shouting again but skipping a night meant it would be worse when I eventually did call on one of my Prine ago she ate at nights off I met two man he was kind he listened he understood he cared we kept bumping into each other not quite by accident he would walk me to my door whatever the time whatever the weather to make sure I got home safe I fell for him hard we would go out with all the other freshers come home and talk for hours I started drinking coffee just so I could invite in for a cop one night when he stood up to leave I kissed him we skipped the next morning's lectures in favor of staying in bed together I thought it would be awkward the next day but it wasn't I felt free and happy and worthwhile for the first time in months breaking up with the GF was obvious but horrible and of course most of our school friends sided with her and I lost em too but it was worth it I gained a sense of perspective self-respect and the love of my life he's stuck by me lord knows why for all the years since in sickness and in health to answer your question Opie I stopped cheating when the man I cheated with proved to be everything I cheated for got drunk and went down on a girl at a party didn't kiss her because in the moment that would have somehow been worse ridiculous I never told her and the relationship ended two years later for unrelated reasons I feel bad for being such a coward rare elephant strawberry like feel good luck ignore for 11 years of bad luck if you are new to the channel you can subscribe I publish new videos every day until then check another video [Music]

Channel: Updoot Everything

Views: 48,114

Rating: 4.8825912 out of 5

Keywords: relationship, relationship advice, relationship advice for couples, cheating, cheaters, reason, #updootst, updoot, reddit, r/askreddit, askreddit, ask reddit, r/, \r, r\, best of reddit, reddit stories, reddit story, top posts, funniest posts, funny, funny posts, funny reddit stories, funny askreddit, reddit funny, askreddit funny, askreddit stories, reddit stories 2019, people of reddit, sub, reddit cringe, memes, toadfilms, updoot everything, updoot reddit, story, stories, rslash, comedy, fresh

Id: LuVK4v-jAVs

Length: 33min 40sec (2020 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 09 2020