Latinos Are Not All The Same | Gabriel Iglesias

oh thank you guys you guys are all standing no pressure pressure mm-hmm we're having fun you guys we are here coming to you from South Florida oh yeah man really close I gotta ask a question since we I just want to know how many Latinos in the crowd tonight now notice I asked Latinos I wasn't very specific because if you call a Latino the wrong one there's an issue you call a Mexican or Salvadorian we get mad you call a Puerto Rican a Dominican they get mad you call a Cuban anything but a Cuban you're gonna get stabbed so for everyone here and everyone at home I have found a way to figure out who's who it's very easy all you have to do is listen to the way the person is speaking Spanish you don't have to understand a single word just listen to the flow that'll let you know for example Mexicans when we speak Spanish we sound high seriously you ask us a question we drag it out hey bro how's it going now Cubans I found out Cubans you guys speak Spanish like everything means something it's very serious you ask a Cuban a question bro where you going why you want to long [Applause] just asking dude it's like why is he yelling I don't know and I found a Puerto Ricans you guys speak Spanish like there's a time limit ask a question a bro what's up I mean if I blow a little heater but let's have a little look at Amazon okay nobody come ask us so lean are just even Mexicans well I aim write that down [Applause] quick another way is the beverage the beverage will let you know who you're dealing with for example a Mexicans preferred drink of choice is tequila okay a Puerto Ricans prefer drink of choice is either don't cool or go people all right and a Cubans prefer drink of choice is coffee now let me tell you how I know about this one so a few years ago so Martina and I were doing a show at The Improv in Miami and after the show was over I was talking about Dennis a bro said we gotta try out some of this Cuban food everybody's been talking about it's our first time here and so we go outside to catch a cab and when we got in the car I figured something I and that is a Cubans come in every color of the rainbow Cubans and Puerto Ricans you go from really really white all the way to freaking navy black just hardcore Wesley Snipes just dark scootaloo hardcore you know I mean I didn't know that there was such a thing as a black queue because we get in a car we're speaking Spanish and this guy turns around and he's black and he's like Don MacKinnon ey you want a hole it freaked me out I thought the partition was tinted I didn't know who is yelling I don't like it I'm like dude oh why is he yelling I said listen we are we want to go somewhere to get some authentic Cuban food where can we go and then he takes us to this place called Calle Ocho which for everyone at home Calle Ocho is a Spanish for 8th Street and it's an area where you know it's very authentic and he takes us to this restaurant called la garita so you can't miss it there's a restaurant on the corner with a giant wagon wheel in front of it and a huge rooster I don't know what the rooster does but look out for him we walk inside and I think what was it might feel like 2 3 o'clock in the morning what we want him easy 3 in the morning easy 3 o'clock in the morning we sit down at this table and we're looking at the menu we're trying to figure it out and there's all kinds of bananas all kinds of weird stuff that I'm like I didn't know that ok bananas fine okay let's do this and here comes the waiter and the waiters coming over and he gets in my face and he's like I don't get it and I'm like I forgot why is he yelling I don't know I said listen brought so you let me look at this menu a little bit longer I think we need some time Rama yeah we were like yeah we need some more time and I says for right now can I just get a coffee and he's I okay oh god Seto and he walks into the kitchen he comes back five minutes later seriously with a little coaster and a shot glass of coffee on the coaster and he puts it down in front I mean he's like okay and I'm like what is this a home cafecito I go dude look at me I'm not a ito Emma Andy and then I started thinking maybe he knows who I am I get the joke bring the really big guy the really little cup you know what I mean and I said bro what is it I'll do him come and see I don't know no no no I'll bring me a full-size cup of coffee take this back in the guy was frustrated so the guy okay hey why you want okay so he grabs it all pissed off and then he goes in the kitchen and he starts talking trash to one of the cooks and then he comes back with a bowl of Cuban coffee okay and he puts it down in front of me and he won't leave the table he's like okay okay okay okay okay oh I get it he wants me to make sure this is what I don't you know what I want right so I pick up the ball and I take a little sip of it and when the coffee hit my tongue I was like oh my god this is the most concentrated coffee I've ever had it was really really strong and then it clicked that's why they bring you a little shot glass of this stuff so now I don't want to look stupid making him take a bowl of coffee back in the kitchen so I picked it up to my face again and I drank the whole thing [Applause] Wilda I know I messed up bro I knew I messed up as a waiter looked at me he's like my upon deal he goes back in the kitchen ten minutes go by you guys I am so wired that coffee is strong that is the only way in the world Cubans can make that swim [Applause] you

Channel: Gabriel Iglesias

Views: 11,227,286

Rating: 4.9066286 out of 5

Keywords: Gabriel iglesias, fluffy, gabriel fluffy iglesias, comedy, jokes, funny, stand up comedy, latinos

Id: kTkxZ18yldc

Length: 7min 8sec (428 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 23 2020

Reddit Comments

[u/Parcero_Brasileiro]

Ya se que aquí estamos en r/Spanish. Sin embargo yo tenía la esperanza que iba hablar un poco de los Brasileños. ¡También somos latinos hombre!

[u/Rater88]

No se porque la gente se sorprende. Obvio no somos iguales. Pero pues supongo que se entiende, hay muchos estereotipos, sobre todo en Estados Unidos.