Love Has No Boundaries | Gabriel Iglesias

I had someone who not only made it backstage this person paid to get into my dressing room okay yeah he didn't pay me by the way he didn't pay me I'm an honest ho oh hey I made no money that day all right if I would have gotten paid you wouldn't be here in this story here's the thing I walk into my dressing room from the bathroom I just finished showering up and I'm in a towel I walk into the room come to find out later that this man was a very wealthy businessman in the community okay and when I walked into the room he's wearing a very very nice suit so when I saw the suit I didn't give it a second thought because he looked professional I thought maybe he was the general manager of the building one of the concert promoters he could have been someone's agent so when I walked in the room and I might tell hey can I help you he looks at me and it was the most uncomfortable conversation I have ever had he looks at me and says listen [Music] I am NOT here to waste any of your time fluffy I am prepared to take care of you I will give you a new Lexus and an allowance that's more than what you make as a comedian I was never more disgusted and offended at the fact that I was not gay because finally finally somebody wants to take care of me do you know how many people I take care of no one's ever offered me a Lexus and they should I felt horrible saying no to this guy I still think about it I still have the number Houston I'm gonna tell you something and I don't know how this is gonna go over but I'm gonna say it I would be an amazing gay partner I would all the way up until that one part but even then have you ever driven Alexis those are nice sometimes you got to take one for your own team I'm just saying [Applause] now in all seriousness not to be funny not to be disrespectful let me tell you the reason why would be an amazing gay partner the level the level of communication between two men is so high I might actually get an answer there might be clarity and understanding I might hear a yes I might hear a no do you know how many relationships I have been in where I still don't know the outcome to certain conversations very simple yes-or-no questions that's what I would do something as simple as baby you hungry well I haven't mean yet so I probably should eat something but I'm not feeling it right now but if I don't need right now you know how I'm gonna get later so I guess it's probably a good idea if I start eating right now but it really depends on the options what do you think what about this one baby where would you like to eat you know my guys yeah finally everybody's pointing at somebody right now guys I'm all right this one has to be you would think that this is the safest question in the world to ask but it's not you will just pick something you know me I'll go with the flow whatever you decide is okay with me you know me already just pick something all right we're going to Burger King I don't like Burger King why don't we gotta go to Burger King burger can't gives me Chara genre is Mexican diarrhea how about this one how do you feel really really you want to know how I feel well you know maybe if you'd pay attention from time to time you might know how I feel you might not need to have to ask me such a question because you would already know exactly how I feel the amount of time and energy I've exhausted to let you know how I feel you have the nerve to ask me how do you feel [Applause] now imagine the exact same conversation between me and mr. Lexus do you know how efficient that conversation would be hey bro you hungry thought you'd never ask what do you want to eat whatever you want to eat we're going to Burger King I love whoppers Michu we go to Burger King and we tear it up we get back home and I ask them hey how do you feel horny you need to how do you want to do this heads or tails it would be efficient you you

Channel: Gabriel Iglesias

Views: 7,030,389

Keywords: gabriel iglesias, gabriel fluffy iglesias, funny, jokes, comedy, stand up comedy, valentines day, romance

Id: SEdIPk1L1RU

Length: 7min 20sec (440 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 14 2020