The Craziest Show Of My Life | Gabriel Iglesias

we were in Mumbai Bangalore and Delhi okay these three places is where we went to perform Mumbai and Bangalore the shows went over very very well okay there were about 1500 or 2000 people which is amazing for a few going over there I was like excited yes and then we get to Delhi and when we got to tell you guys it got a little crazy Martina walks out on stage and the crowd recognized him and they started chanting any time I hear that I'm like they know him it's gonna be a good show so my Athene starts cracking jokes the crowd starts laughing he's cracking more jokes the crowd keeps laughing all of a sudden I hear this Marta theme doesn't say a word to them he gets off stage next comedian comes out and then Martine comes over to me and he says bro I don't know what's going on man I don't know what's going on out there there's these three guys in the front row they're laughing like Klingons from Star Trek I'm not gonna address him I'm gonna save them for you I was like oh thank you so then my thing goes back out there on stage and he introduces me ladies and gentleman got really close yes and then I run out on stage and the crowd started chanting and I was that what's up Danny and I start cracking jokes start getting laughs start cracking more jokes start getting more laughs and then it happened now see me I can't avoid things especially when it's front-row Center so I addressed it I came right on I said well hello I said what do we have here I said so where are you guys from and the guy in the middle looks at me and goes they are from Germany I said cool we have Germans in the house and the whole crowd got really weird you can hear him they freaked out because they thought I was gonna start making fun of the German people and one guy even stood up don't do it don't do it go on do it I go relax bro heaven's sake don't do it I'm not gonna make fun of the German people that's the last thing I want to do is offend them I don't want to end up outside in an alley somewhere everything in two hours oh this is the last time we are going to tell you do not make fun of German people as I'm doing this joke about a German kicking me on the floor with the accent here's where it gets crazy I get hit in the side of the head by a bat listen to what I just told you barrier I get hit in the side of the head by a bat not Major League Baseball I'm talking about about a sucker black in India there are millions and millions and millions of fruit bats and one of them actually six of them made it inside of the building and they're flying around and they're hanging out in the rafters and one of them decides to fly down and basically when I was doing the kicks I stepped into the line of flight of the bat and he caught me right here what the hell and I look up and you see it and you can hear it the Indian people saw that and they freaked out they were yelling they did it they did it big dong don't do it they told you don't do it yeah even like dude I don't care how evil you think the Germans are they don't have control over bats it wasn't like the guy got offended and said all really ants release the bat so now the crowd is weird these guys are laughing and there's freaking bats flying around the theatre first two minutes of my show I got a do an hour and now I've already lost the crowd they're freaking out these guys are laughing weird I'm nervous it's my first time there I don't know how to get out of this so I literally walked over to the other side of the stage and I started just performing for this side of the room trying to redirect the focus right here and I'm so nervous I'm stuttering I don't even have a Segway I'm like okay you know it's crazy in America everybody in America likes drinking you know it's real crazy like like for example Mexicans most Mexicans will I drink at the Keela most black people like Hennessy most white people like Jager here in India you guys like Fanta and when I said Fanta the crowd went crazy because it was such a local reference they freaked out they were like screaming oh my god he knows he knows they started singing up on tires on Yvonne up on top The Roar was so big it allowed me to restart my show so I started cracking new jokes and more jokes and these jokes in those jokes five minutes go by five minutes go by all of a sudden the Germans got offended at the fact that I left them out of my drink a joke the one in the middle stands up and he approaches a stage now this stage has got to be about five feet tall the guy's head was about this high he's like six four he looks at me and he starts pointing and he's yelling hey but none Fatman but about as haha but there are the Germans but to be drink dude that was like five minutes ago they were giving you a chance what do they drink I'm like first of all sir I apologize I'm really nervous right now I had no idea that was gonna be Germans here tonight got like Poland I don't care if you laugh or not that's a smartass joke that's how smartass joke it's not my fault some of your pen decals failed history you better cool that and find out why it's so damn funny all older white people so anyway so I'm standing when I go listen sir you need to have a seat okay the people are getting nervous you need to have a seat so I can finish the show and the guys he refuses I will not sit down fat man until you tell us what we drink I go listen I don't know what you guys drink and the Indians are being so cute they're trying to help me they're yelling hey they like fun too and the guy was like please have a seat make sure you tell us what we drink tell us what man I go listen sir you need to sit down and you need to stop calling me fat man now it's starting to bother me it's like the sixth time he does it and I didn't just lose a hundred pounds - now get called so I go serve you don't have a seat we're gonna have a problem especially if you call me fat man again and he freakin did it what's he gonna do that bad look at my drink even my teen who's behind the curtain knew he knows when I'm at that point where I've crossed over I could hear him in the back door [Music] too late Fluffy's pissed so I said you want to know what you drink damn it don't ask me where this came from I got right in his face and I said blood of Jews [Applause] now see automatically you guys gave me a whole different reaction in Delhi that was probably the most shocking thing ever said on that stage so shocking that 2,000 people at the exact same time got so quiet you guys so quiet you could hear everyone's ass just and I'm still standing there in my hands out have you ever said something that was so bad and I mean you knew it was bad as it was coming out of your mouth and you're trying to stop it but it's too late it's already out and you're like and it's too late blood of Jews is all over his face right I'm standing on my hands I'm looking at him he's looking at me and I'm like he says that's a good one yeah that's a good it doesn't and there I'm telling you guys this is so crazy so next morning might Athena and I are flying back home to Los Angeles from Delhi we're taking an airline called British Airways we go from Delhi to London England and we have a connecting flight over there once we get to England they cancelled our connect for whatever reason and so we got rebooked on another airline called love onside it's a German airline now this is why I believe in karma seriously Marty's like really bloody Jews I'm like I know I felt like they phoned ahead on stakeout a floppy so I put down my credit card I made sure that Martina and I got upgraded to at least their business class because it's like a long flight and so we're in there we're on the plane and the plane takes off about 20 minutes into the flight we're just sitting there were laughing and the flight attendant she starts coming down the aisle with the little cart and she's coming down the aisle and she sees me and she goes hello sir do you have a preferred drink of choice today Martine looks at me taps me in the chest then he goes eh tell her Tayler bro come on ask for if anybody has it do shut up and then she looks at martine said do you have a preferred drink of choice and other things like yeah you guys got blood up she's like Bloody Mary yes yes Bloody Mary freaking marchetta's gonna get me banned from flying so we make it back home I'm trying to tell the story to my girlfriend and my son and my girl she's barely laughing she's like haha like she's jaded she doesn't laugh at my jokes anymore my son Frankie on the other hand he is dying and I'm like really he's sick seniors like a really Frankie good thought that was funny he goes ask funny I go what was so funny about my story he goes those people you're talking about I go who the Indians he goes no the other ones I go the Germans goes yeah it's funny I go what's so funny about the Germans the way that they speak I go what's so funny about the way that they speak he goes they sound like the three little pigs from the movie Shrek I had to go on YouTube and freak and find it and sure enough all three little pigs oh yeah I was just waiting for one of the gold that bad you

Channel: Gabriel Iglesias

Views: 6,670,486

Keywords: gabriel iglesias, gabriel iglesias comedy, stand up comedy, fluffy, gabriel fluffy iglesias, gabriel iglesias full show, gabriel iglesias magic mike scene, gabriel iglesias india, comedy, funny, jokes, mr iglesias, netflix, the fluffy movie full movie, the fluffy movie trailer, the fluffy movie opening scene, the fluffy movie

Id: n0Xm2mwBtWI

Length: 11min 41sec (701 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 18 2020