Lady Told I Must Be A Trashy Woman Because I'm CHILDFREE & Refused To Sell Me HER BIG HOUSE

child free people how has your choice affected your life this happened yesterday and i'm still fuming my friend married with two kids moved into a house in a guarded community about two years ago i'm the godmother of her daughter and visit them frequently i love her place and the whole community and when she mentioned that her neighbors are selling their home i got in contact with them immediately this was in february i've been looking into buying a house for quite some time now as i work from home no multi-level marketing i was looking for a larger space to set up a proper office and maybe even a room where i can do woodworking and other stuff that makes a lot of dirt and that place was perfect last house on the land so only one neighbor my friend close to the city mountains and forests nearby for long walks with the pup and a garden to finally start growing exciting things like herbs potatoes and lettuce after talking to the owner who knew me from visits i had to get in touch with other homeowners because they needed to approve the new owner whatever i thought i had met most of them before and got along with all of them i got invited to a brunch thing and even brought my secret recipe chocolate chip cookies it was a lovely sunday and all went well or so i thought yesterday my friend called to tell me that they didn't want me there because and i'm still raging they don't want a partying wild single girl i'm in my mid-30s in their neighborhood and are scared that i'd bring in dangerous people they believe something's really wrong with me otherwise i would clearly be married with kids and they don't want their community to become a ghetto for junkies mind you i haven't been to a party in over a decade and my friday nights are usually spent with reading books and a bottle of wine my friend and her husband tried to reason with them but to no avail and to top it all off the woman who was the most vocal about me being a danger to the peace of the community had the audacity to call me and ask for the recipe of my cookies i got pregnant when i was younger i am just turning 30 now i want a determination and my boyfriend begged begged begged guilted begged me to carry the fetus to term and that he would raise the baby himself he involved his parents who involved my parents and since my parents were against procedure they agreed on my behalf that this is what would happen i was naive at the time about how horrible pregnancy and delivery would be with a baby you don't want i was miserable in pain anxious isolated and sick the whole time delivery was a nightmare the whole process was so traumatic that i've been diagnosed with ptsd from it for which i've been in therapy for the last four years in my country if both parents are 18 and both agree to it one parent can legally give up parental obligations so i did that i haven't regretted it for a minute i do regret not getting a procedure because of the trauma it cost me i do not regret giving up parental rights i do not think about this child i do not think of myself as having a child i am not a mother i have never met the child and never want to last month my ex-boyfriend contacted me again through my parents because he and his wife have split up and now that his daughter is 12 she wants to know about the circumstances of her birth i told him that we did things according to his wishes and i never ever want contact with his child and don't want him to tell her my name or contact information he and my parents are furious and my parents also admitted they thought i would come around they want to be in this child's life but want me to also be a part of it i won't am i the idiot here all i have done is what i have always said i would do i'm so frustrated right now i woke up this morning and was really looking forward to my day off then bull happens so once a month i switch out my birth control pills for a new pack and i keep the remaining packs in my drawer my doctor gives me about six months supply at a time and i had three months in my drawer well i finished my pack this morning and went to get my next one to keep in my purse and they were gone i live with parents and a much younger sibling i rarely have friends or guests over i knew my mom or dad took them away from me so i confronted them did you take any pills from my room i won't say how the conversation went down but what started out as awkward turned into rage i got yelled at told how i'm a sinner for killing babies that's not how birth control works but okay and how if i want to have intimacy i should get married and use it as a way to create kids like god intended my mom has always had a bit of trouble having kids apparently i took several years to conceive and my other sibling was a miracle she specifically commented on how some women wish they could get pregnant yet here you are hurting your reproductive system intentionally i'm not ready for marriage or a kid and i don't really know if i ever will be pushing that on me is so stupid i need to talk to my doctor but i really worry he'll reject me more birth control because i already have three months on hand also i wanted to meet up with my boyfriend later this week for some activities it's been a while but now that i'm going to be off the pill for longer than a day my weekend plans are completely messed up i'm so angry right now small update i met my boyfriends right now we're researching some options i talked with a girlfriend of mine and she's taking me to planned parenthood tomorrow where we'll be talking to the doctor about longer term solutions my boyfriend and i got in a pretty big fight a week or so ago and this has honestly brought us together stronger than ever i'm so glad i have him to help me through this he's totally okay abstaining until we get this 100 resolved my parents have called me multiple times i'm not answering i'm waiting for the wrath when i get home i might be staying the night here right now i don't intend to call the cops i just can't risk losing my only housing situation a lot has changed since my original post the first night i stayed with my boyfriend however due to several circumstances no overnight guest policy roommates etc i am not able to stay there more than one night i did eventually go home and did my best to ignore my parents by that point they were really mad because i had stayed the night to avoid them i did eventually confront my mother about the birth control and mentioned how it's dangerous to take meds away from me and how it could have major side effects i expressed that it was very dangerous to go off my dosage mid-cycle her response you know if you never got on the pills you wouldn't have any side effects i did eventually get her to give me the pills back all three packs were accounted for i didn't start back up on them because i didn't want to risk her tampering with them things stayed pretty tense the whole day one of my besties eventually took me to planned parenthood in which i talked with the nurses and doctors about my situation i didn't want to escalate things with my parents or get into any legal issues so i simply told them i'm unreliable at taking my pills every day after going through all the options and side effects i did determine that the hormonal iud would work best so i scheduled an appointment i honestly am very impressed by the high level of service from planned parenthood the best part is since this is a whole new doctor and type of birth control i didn't have to return my pills or explain what happened as of this week i did get the iud procedure done very painful worth it though because after talking about solutions with both my best friend and boyfriend we found a way to alleviate things with my mother first i started simply talking with her about the future and how our family was started just to get her on the topic eventually i took my three packs of birth control and handed them to my mother one night saying i'm sorry mama i really messed up and i regret having done it before marriage i don't want these anymore surprisingly this seemed to work she forgave me and said that she was proud that i was no longer on the baby killing pills she expressed how she is very much looking forward to me growing into a strong woman with a family i reluctantly went along with it just to make her happy we hugged and my mother seemed proud only i knew i just had a five-year birth control implanted inside me it felt dirty yet it felt so right in general i am very much looking forward to not taking a pill every morning and i am also very much looking forward to seeing my boyfriend sometime soon to make up for the lost weeks of activities my mother on the other hand seems to be believing the white lie and i doubt she will have any way to figure out my iud the next step in my life moving out that much is clear my boyfriend's paternal cousin has always been a shameless moocher she doesn't waste her time trying to get anything from my boyfriend and his sister cyrus and shania names changed because she knows she won't get anything out of them while they're very kind and generous they never allow their kindness to be exploited the same cannot be said for their parents they've always been there for family members even when the said family members such as the cousin didn't deserve it we'll call them mr and mrs awesome the following incident happened a few days before new year's eve 2018. cyrus and i along with shania were at their parents house the cousin and her husband were there too with their three kids they had three at the time the fourth one was on the way as we made small talk my boyfriend asked his mom mrs awesome if they were going to get their house renovated anytime soon they had mentioned earlier that they wanted to renovate before the new year mrs awesome told them that they were putting it off for a couple of months as they had given the money they had set aside for it to entitled cousin to buy things for the baby that was due to arrive soon i could tell that cyrus was annoyed at this but shania was downright furious neither of them had ever liked the way their cousin took advantage of their parents shania looked at cousin and cousin's husband and asked something like aren't you ashamed of going around begging relatives to fund your lifestyle cousin looked shocked and asked what are you talking about we didn't take the money for any lifestyle we need it for our new baby besides we only borrowed it we'll give it back when we can cyrus come on you really expect us to believe that's going to happen shania besides having more kids than you can afford is obviously a lifestyle choice you could have stopped at two kids and you would have had enough to raise them without asking for handouts cousin's husband it's not a handout family is supposed to be there for each other shania if there's an emergency yes but you ask for money for things like going out to eat what kind of an example are you setting for these kids and you just had to have four and expect our parents to fund their upbringing cousin now close to tears stop talking like that in front of our kids now cyrus and shania's dad mr awesome stepped in and told everyone to lower their voices they were there to spend time together as a family and weren't going to be at each other's throats this calmed everyone down and we soon sat down to eat dinner cousin and her husband sulked the entire time but shania and cyrus remained their cheerful selves cyrus later told me he was sorry i had to see that at that time we had been together for a little over a year and it was either the third or fourth time i had been to his parents house i assured him that i understood what it was like to deal with nasty family members and that i was proud of him and his sister for standing up to them i honestly fail to understand why some people act like family members owe them something by the virtue of being related i work in it during quarantine we are working remotely same job same hours different office our phone system has been diverted to mobile as well as extension numbers so the business is running almost the same as it always has i am child free and i have noticed this week that i am answering the phones more than i usually do so much so that i started to get backed up with tickets mid-week bear in mind that the tickets also go to an email folder we all have access to me and the app developer for our business made the app to allow us to divert the phones are both child free i found out the phone stats from him after i spoke to him a little on how we were getting backed up as it stands i'm at 57 percent of calls that's all calls coming through the support phones in an office of seven i go on to teams and ask what on earth is going on two of them didn't respond they were at just over 40 together so regular working day for them the other four of them all together straight up blamed it on the fact that they have kids and that they were off school so having kids suddenly means you don't have to work anymore we're all being paid the same so why am i doing half the work today i purposely started ignoring the phone for every other call as it's not fair and it would back me up in the first place anyway i just got an email from two of the lazy idiots doing nothing saying that i am taking away their family time family time you're on the clock it's work time not family time i'm honestly gobsmacked my dudes we've had an ice cream truck coming by my apartment complex for the past couple weeks the guy must be making a fortune because he always has a line of both kids and adults well anyway the guy came today and i went down to get some ice cream and lo and behold this mom with two kids gets behind me in line and starts complaining out loud about all of the single adults with no kids buying ice cream whatever i don't really need the ice cream i'm mainly buying the ice cream because i know times are tough and i want to support a local business and since this guy comes by my apartment i figured i may as well support him with a few bucks i usually end up saving the ice cream in the freezer for later so anyway i order an ice cream sandwich and the sow behind me utters out loud that better not have been the last one the ice cream man replies that he always comes fully stocked her response well ice cream is for kids he replied that his ice cream is for anyone who wants it and i finally had enough of her crap i told her to mind her own business and she replies by calling me a creep for being a grown man waiting in line for an ice cream truck with a bunch of kids that aren't mine the ice cream guy noticeably rolled his eyes at that comment meaning he probably runs into this a lot whatever karen great example you're setting for your kids i didn't feel like arguing with her so i just took my ice cream sandwich and left i then heard her ask for multiple different items again she had two kids with her so she's buying at least some of it for herself i don't even know why she had a problem with people buying ice cream i can't stand people like this i'm 37 my husband will be turning 40 next year and we will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary in april and after years of you'll grow up and change your mind and us saying no we won't people are starting to realize that we meant it when we said we are never ever having kids it's finally starting to sink in that we are not going to change our minds on the kid thing we just bought a very kid-unfriendly car and an apartment downtown i went to south korea to see my favorite band in concert and to japan with my child free best friend and my husband went on a hockey road trip to see their team play for a few games and we have booked ourselves a nice anniversary trip away to italy for next year we are clearly enjoying our money and making purchases for fun the breeders are getting mad and jealous it is getting so obvious they are bitter and resentful we didn't fall for it with all the snarky comments about our lack of responsibilities and our frivolous spending and living like you're still 25. we didn't change our minds and now they are all realizing they were sold uh it's all worth it lie they are jealous because they are miserable now their lives are nothing but going to work and coming home and dealing with the kids and basically living paycheck to paycheck because they bleed money paying for kid expenses just admit you are jealous i went to korea and to japan for a holiday well you took your spawn to disney and they have three meltdowns and your holiday was spawn management just admit you're jealous you had to buy a house an hour out of the city out in the burbs and pay more for a good school district while dear husband and i live 10 minutes from work just admit you are jealous i get to listen to whatever music i want in my own car and not baby shark just admit you are jealous i get to buy myself makeup or skincare products during the sales while you had to buy kids toys for christmas and yep i am an almost 38 year old woman who loves a k-pop band enough to make a holiday out of seeing a concert and my husband still plays video games and watches hockey frequently it's hilarious how so many people who haven't listened to a song that isn't baby shark or let it go in three years think there is something wrong with my music taste not having kids means i get to continue to like what i like using a throwaway short one for you guys my sister has kids and they are lovely i love being an aunt i see them twice a month and try to keep up with what they do however my partner and i don't personally want kids of our own we are child free and intent to stay so my sister is really disappointed by this and keeps hinting i'll change my mind she points out how good i am with her kids and she says that once we have kids we'll realize how incomplete our life is without them i keep telling her it's not going to happen yet she keeps trying to convince me finally last weekend we had a skype call with her family and after her kids got off the call she said they asked when they would have a cousin i tried to reiterate that we don't want kids but then she decided to ask her patented question of but what if you got pregnant by accident she always asks this like it's some trump card because i usually say we'll cross that bridge if that happens but today i was just super done with the conversation and i snapped i'd get rid of the baby and you'd never know if you had a niece or nephew let's just say the call ended with her telling me i'd hurt her deeply and that we wouldn't be talking for a while i don't really know if i was an idiot i know she is pro-life so that answer obviously hurt her a lot but i just wanted her to stop bringing up that point like it was a gotcha because i would have a procedure if i actually got pregnant it's just that i never would have told her about it

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Keywords: askreddit, r/askreddit, reddit, askwomen, askreddit girls, reddit women, reddit girls, askreddit real voice, reddit stories, justnomil, r/aita, r/tifu, ask gurl, reddit childfree, reddit childfree shaming, reddit childless, reddit family, reddit childfree drama, reddit pregnant

Id: LS29TFihJqw

Length: 19min 6sec (1146 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 08 2020