Cousin Demands I GIFT My MONEY To Her KIDS As She Has To BENEFIT From Me Because I'm CHILDFREE

people who told their parents they will be child free how did they react i'm hardly wealthy but not having kids means i've got decent savings a high-paying job because i spent my young adult years getting graduate degrees instead of getting kids and i now have some assets worth money as well for years my family has acted like i'm a perpetual child because i don't have kids this past summer i finally lost my crap and reminded them that i'm in my 40s and they need to stop acting like i'm some dumb idiot and they were all like haha yeah we forget we always think of you as so young haha because i don't have kids therefore i'm a perpetual juvenile in their minds they basically said that to my face oh we just keep thinking you're basically permanently immature t he and they were actually laughing about it i shut that down hard and demanded i be treated like an adult with respect to their credit they did they apologized and the dynamics did shift over the past eight to nine months however now i see that it's backfired on me they see me being child free and financially secure as something that should directly benefit my cousin who made different choices than i did so an aunt called me and told me that i need to leave all of my money assets to one particular cousin who has the most kids and isn't in the best situation financially it was made clear to me that cousin and her husband will have nothing to leave their kids when they die and that the kids are entitled to an inheritance so apparently it's on me to make sure that happens plus i have to keep my money in the family forget this charity nonsense my family deserves to benefit from what i've earned i went off and yelled in return i told her not my kids not my problem no one is entitled to an inheritance and i will not be changing my will she just kept saying that they deserve to get some money someday i'm sorry what the family who laughed my graduate degrees and told me i should stop with all the silly degrees and just have kids instead now suddenly deserves to benefit from the money i earned because of those silly degrees anyway my aunt was grumbling about how horrible i am to take money away from your family when i hung up the phone take it away from them so that tells me they've gone from acting like i don't matter to thinking of what i have as rightfully theirs wow i was so relieved to stop getting bingoed in my mid-30s but this is like bingoing evolved it goes from you need to have kids two you need to support someone else's kids just wow they simply cannot fathom that i have value outside of having my own kids or providing for someone else's kids i still don't matter otherwise even my child freeness somehow has to be turned into being about supporting kids for the record anything i have left when i die is going to organizations doing good in the world edit lots of people are commenting to leave ungrateful family one dollar each in my will so they can't say they were forgotten my parents have already threatened to contest it i am going to take this advice last night after a very long day of classes i finally got an uber at 11pm to go home needless to say i was so wrecked and i just wanted to crawl into bed with my cat and husband and sleep normally i have headphones with me because i hate conversations with strangers but today i left them at home so i was at the mercy of social conventions apparently my uber driver was not he was friendly and just chatting about my day at first we shared some small talk and me saying i was exhausted on my way home from school and was missing my husband as i'd been gone about 15 hours immediately his tone and entire demeanor changed school i thought you said you were married he asked almost angry oh god he's one of those yeah i am it's awesome i'm really close to graduation and can't wait to be done with these classes and start working full time trying to steer the conversation from where i knew it was headed why work it's stupid you should be at home taking care of the house taking care of your children he barks i'm getting slightly annoyed now i love my job i love my field of work and we do not have kids so he cuts me off but when you do have kids you're going to have to start being a better wife so why put money into school let your husband take care of money and you stay home um excuse me dude i am a good wife i am a great wife moreover i am good at what i do work weird hours and make more money than my husband can therefore he's usually the one actually staying home and taking care of wifely chores and if by some accident we get pregnant and bertha spawn he will be the stay-at-home dad we've discussed this and know this is how it would go down i wanted to go off on this idiot so bad but i could only manage what i hoped would end the conversation actually we aren't having kids so that won't be a problem insert awkward laugh and with that i hope that would be it nope big mistake saying the no kid thing huge what is wrong with you he snaps excuse me taken aback at his attitude i can tell there is no reason for you to say you do not want children i know some american women think that they can behave like this but how can you say such a thing i know your parents must have taught you better than this children are wonderful with this i change tactics do you have kids i ask yes three my wife stays home and takes care of them he answered so you're usually out driving at 11 pm on a weeknight i assume trying to support this family of course i am actually a software engineer but i can only make so much doing that so after work i drive from five until i'm tired he sounds so proud my wife has never worked and i will not allow it we are doing fine why not let your husband take care of you like i take care of my family y'all this guy is a full-time software engineer and is still forced to drive over 30 hours a week to take care of his family that's how much children cost now i'm assuming he sees his children maybe 5 to 10 hours a week if that and he's attempting to shame me for wanting a normal non-slave life i wish i had a more satisfying end other than giving him a low rating i did get to go home to my husband a wonderful home-cooked meal a fat blunt and a kill bill double feature legend has it rude uber driver is still out there spreading his disapproval and trying to make enough tips to cover soccer cleats for his love trophies i found out this week i was pregnant three at home tests confirmed it despite having an iud in place for the last few years not hormonal should have lasted another five between the shock and disbelief i couldn't recall if i had my period last month why would i have paid attention when i knew i was protected i went back over texts receipts etc and the last one i could confirm started in november that placed me around 12 to 14 weeks just into the second trimester and too far for the medication-induced terminations i would need the surgical procedure after some calls i found many local clinics stopped giving that around 11 weeks luckily i live in a blue state and scheduled two appointments at different clinics each about a one hour drive for my town one warned me there would be protesters even on a weekday morning at 8 am luckily i have insurance that covers the procedure and called my ob gyn to ask about their recommendations on the clinic to choose i ended up at the other clinic since they could take me earlier no protesters in sight even a security guard at the door luckily i have an incredibly supportive partner who accepted my choice to get a procedure without hesitation who came with me and held me and told me it was okay luckily i have a close supportive family who i called to lean on my mom came out to help cook for us and look after me while i recovered the following day when my partner was at work luckily the pregnancy was not ectopic higher risk when pregnant with an iud and scans showed i was only five weeks the clinic staff were kind and professional the procedure lasted only a few minutes i decided to get the surgical option just to have this ordeal finished that day luckily my recovery is going well i have no side effects and a follow-up appointment with my ob gyn soon but what about women who aren't so lucky what about women who don't have insurance or flexible hours at work or reliable transportation or who have to travel further than one hour sometimes on multiple visits who get hassled and yelled at by strangers what about the women without support of family and friends or whose family shames or villainizes them for their choice what about women who have done everything they could to reasonably prevent a pregnancy but who get the crazy low odds like me who don't notice until later and then get penalized i'm so sad and angry for them that these situations exist in the us i never thought i'd need to exercise my right to choose but i can't imagine not being able to the world has a habit of shutting down child free women and labeling them as bitter if only society would support the child-free lifestyle in the same way that they do motherhood instead infant dolls are pushed onto young children suddenly from a young age society introduces the idea that motherhood is something that every young girl should want in the future but what about her dreams my family always told me that i needed to get married early so that i could find a husband and settle down early it sucked because i felt like i had to sacrifice my future for a child that doesn't exist what about my dreams what about my goals i felt like i was running on borrowed time and at 19 i still do it's like i have an expiration date etched in my mind get married before 25 have kids before 30. i lost most of my young years to depression i'm still battling with it there's so much to life that i have yet to experience i've never been in love not even with myself yet it's expected that i intend to sacrifice parts of my life to some creature that doesn't exist it's funny because parents love to say that children are the best thing that could have ever happened to them yet they're constantly tired haven't been on a date in years sacrificed their own happiness and even their own bodies i've noticed that many mothers or pikmi women get angry at the child free lifestyle child free women are often called bitter and heartless but i think the most heartfelt thing is to know what lifestyle is right for you to know that it's better to put yourself first than to bring a child into a life where they aren't wanted do you know how many parents i see tossing their child from daycare to daycare i guess people get angry at child free women because we break free from the mold we shatter the idea that a woman's purpose is to have children and they hate to see it this was about three years ago i went to the doctor to get a coil iud renewed i was about 27 at the time the conversation went like this me i would like to get a new coil please doctor okay that's fine we can give you the five year one me i would like the ten-year one please doctor i will give you five year me i would really like the ten-year doctor it is a lot easier to give you the five-year one for when you have children me i don't want children doctor rules her eyes at me yes you will me no really it's not for me can i please have the tenure doctor what's wrong with you what has happened in your past for you not to want children me quite angry at this point um nothing i have had a great childhood i have lots of reasons for why i don't want children i like my life i want a career i don't have maternal instincts doctor interrupting you're getting very defensive of course i didn't want to see her again so i ended up going to a clinic funny enough i actually got the five year but this is because the doctor told me it was safer and she didn't like to give the tenure to anyone which is the more reasonable explanation than what the first lady gave me still makes me so mad wish i had put in a complaint so this was a few weeks ago obviously no one is coming or going to anyone's house right now i have a sort of friend she is a friend of my best friend i've hung out with her a couple of times after meeting her at a party more i got to know her more i just didn't love her personality so i have been polite but distant when she hits me up which is fairly often i do sort of feel bad for her she doesn't have much of a support system and lives about an hour's drive away from a lot of her friends anyway she's pregnant so i've really started distancing myself from her kids are not my thing you do you we work pretty different schedules but she hits me up to hang out on the one day we both have off but except for a few times i've just been busy or not really in the mood to be around her she made some comment about hanging out and meeting my new dog when she is on maternity leave because she says she's going to go crazy sitting around the house i told her yeah if best friend comes up we can have a girls night but honestly i don't let people bring their kids over to my house this is for several reasons i just don't want them around i feel like i'm always the one they get dumped on i'm not okay with it our house was built in the 50s it has some ratchet basement stairs that if you add a toddler to it would be a lawsuit while i don't like kids i love animals we have six my two cats are special needs and you can't pick one of them up my dog is afraid of small children i'm not going to lock all of my animals up for you to bring your kid over sorry this is their home i am not going to make them uncomfortable oh boy this set her off she said i needed to adjust my dog's attitude and train my cats lol because it wasn't fair that she couldn't bring her son over like what we don't even hang out anyway why do you feel comfortable inviting yourself over to my house you do you want to come somewhere that your kid is going to get bitten or scratched just why so i live in a different country than the rest of my family me and my sister don't want kids which saddens my mother because she wants a grandchild but that's another story recently my young cousin has gotten pregnant with a guy who she is dating for a few months she decided to keep it and marry the guy she didn't finish uni yet and has no money or a proper job however my family is celebrating this because babies are a blessing me and my sister refused to participate in this so i flew home for the wedding and my family asked me to say congratulations to my cousin i laughed and said there is nothing to congratulate for they are now mad at me my sister was already complaining to me about the fact that she recently got a promotion and started her own charity but the family has barely acknowledged those things but instead are talking about the upcoming baby all the time so she was already not happy when my parents told her she needs to shell out a certain amount of money to give as a wedding gift where i come from it is custom to give money instead of gifts and then more money again when the baby comes she lost it and told them that she isn't giving any money because why should my cousin be rewarded with money after doing something irresponsible meanwhile no one is giving my sister money for getting a promotion and starting her own charity things that are actually accomplishments so now our family is mad at the both of us lol they didn't even dare to ask me for money because they know i would just laugh at them so i'm a 28 year old female who is married with a successful career and a good life i have no children so what does everyone expect me to do have kids of course i've made it beyond clear to all my family and friends that i don't want children it's not for me stop asking the usual crap you unfortunately have to deal with from everyone when you're a young married child-free female living in the south what has me beyond furious is that you expect to have to deal with this from your close-minded highly religious family and the occasional friends who are thinking of having kids and want you to join in on their misery however i do not expect to have to deal with the pressure to procreate from my gynecologist on my last visit my ob gyn was asking me about my birth control and if i was satisfied etc i told her i was unhappy with some of the side effects of the different birth controls i'd tried and that i didn't want to take them anymore she was so excited oh that is wonderful you know you're starting to get into your late 20s and it's definitely time to start a family me what staring blanking wondering what in the actual hell is happening i then realize and tell her that she has seriously misunderstood what i'm saying and that i actually want surgery to either tie my tubes or remove everything because i no longer want to take birth control at all i can see the joy leave her face as she replies oh well that's not possible you haven't had any children yet and you'll change your mind so you'll be hard-pressed to find anyone willing to do surgery on you for that i go on to try to explain that i've never wanted children it's my body and should be my choice and that i should be able to have a full hysterectomy if i want it that later on it will probably even be a benefit to my health and that i feel like it would improve my quality of life long term because i wouldn't be putting those unnecessary hormones into my body she ignores me tells me she'll go ahead and renew the prescription for what i'm currently taking at my pharmacy and to call if i want something different prescribed and leaves rage that's really all that i could feel like who does this witch think she is it's my life my body my choice at 18 you can join the military apply for college choose a career to alter your entire life and rank up copious amounts of debt that will haunt you forever but no you can't have your crap together and be almost 30 and choose that you don't want children because you're a female and you don't know what you're talking about and you might change your mind i'm beyond furious this isn't the first gynecologist to tell me this which makes it even worse and now with the backwards crap going on in my state i wouldn't be able to legally get a procedure if something accidentally happened regardless of how paranoid and careful i am to not get pregnant i just can't believe how absurd this is it really infuriates me that we live in a society that cares more about a possible child who isn't even here and for me never will be more than the patient in front of them right now i'm so beyond annoyed the thought of having a child gives me so much anxiety why is it so hard to just live a child free life i'm not bothering anyone like some of these obnoxious entitled idiots with four kids who can't pay their bills and who are struggling yet irresponsibly keep reproducing the whole entire situation just makes me die inside a little [Music] you

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Id: 9wxF3mEOHrM

Length: 19min 58sec (1198 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 08 2020